Killing Machine, The (1975) Review

Posted on January 9, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Killing Machine" Theatrical Poster

“The Killing Machine” Theatrical Poster

Director: Norifumi Suzuki
Cast: Sonny Chiba, Yutaka Nakajima, Makoto Sato, Naoya Makoto, Sanae Kitabayashi, Akiko Mori, Akira Oizumi, Hosei Komatsu, Kyoichi Sato, Genji Kawai
Running Time: 85 min.

By Slaxor

The Killing Machine is a fun little Chiba flick. Probably one of my favorites of his and much much better then the overrated chore to sit through that is The Street Fighter.

In the movie, Sonny Chiba very loosely portrays the character responsible for creating Karate. The story goes that the character was a spy during the war while in China and learned Shaolin martial arts to which he modified in to what we know today as Karate. In other words, without this man, we would not have today such legendary masterpieces as The Karate Kid series.

The basic formula for this movie reminded me a lot of a Bruce Lee flick, but with a Japanese touch. A lot of the fight scenes are done in a more realistic manner placing a lot of emphasis on takedowns. Basically, don’t expect the Venoms to show up and put on the clinic they usually do.

Of course, no 70’s movie is complete without some exploitation in the form of child rape, which thankfully is not shown – as well as a scene that made me feel like I was watching one of those South American cannibal movies for about 5 minutes. I don’t want to spoil it, so I’ll just leave it at that.

The only real downside to the movie is some of the drama is incredibly overdone at times.

The finale is probably worth the price alone as Chiba shows up at the baddies house Big Boss-style and proceeds to get his ass kicked all over the place… well, just the opposite of course, but you already know that without seeing it, so I figured “what the hell”.

Overall, I recommend this movie if you’re Chiba fan,but would advise to rent if you consider yourself spoiled by Hong Kong fight scenes. Although this movie is highly praised for actually filming Chiba’s fight scenes properly, they still don’t hold a candle to what Hong Kong has to offer.

Slaxor’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in All, Japanese, News, Reviews | Tagged |

Mr. Nice Guy | aka Mister Cool (1997) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Mr. Nice Guy" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Mr. Nice Guy” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Superchef
Director: Sammo Hung
Producer: Chua Lam
Cast: Jackie Chan, Miki Lee, Richard Norton, David No, Bradley James Allan, Andy Cheng, Paul Andreovski, Jonathan Isgar, Joe Sayah, Glen Chin, Emil Chau Wa Kin, Joyce Mina Godenzi, Sammo Hung
Running Time: 94 min.

By Numskull

First of all, not since Ronald Reagan left office has there been an action movie with a plot this feeble. Second of all, Sammo Hung: good actor, great director, outstanding fight choreographer, SHITTY editor. This movie uses so many of those choppy slow-motion “dreamlike” shots that I began to think the popcorn I was eating was laced with LSD. Perhaps it’ll be remedied in the American theatrical release. Also, in the otherwise excellent horse-and-buggy sequence, when they’re running along the strip mall, they pass two or three different signs TWICE! How in the name of hell-bent fuck did this go unnoticed?!? And while I’m on a roll with the negative points, why, oh WHY did they have everything come to a screeching halt once Jackie wrecks the mansion with the bulldozer? That blond-haired guy needed his ass kicked so badly!!! ARRRGGH!!!!!

Take heart though, this movie is actually above average…I guess there’s a shiny side to every penny (I just coined a phrase! HAH! Get it? COINED a phrase? Um…never mind). S & M fanatics everywhere will love seeing a woman get smacked around every 5 minutes. Sammo’s usual slow pacing goes out the window…nay, down the shitter. The action scenes are evenly spaced and well done except for the car chase near the beginning. It failed to excite me, but that may be a strictly New England thing…I live in Massachusetts, where you can be going 75 mph down a dead-end street and still have someone behind you who wants to go faster. Anyway, go see Mr. Nice Guy everybody…I guarantee you’ll have more fun than you’d have braiding your pubic hairs.

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10

By Dan-O

After regaling us with the tale about a lawyer who can kick ass, a food delivery person who can also kick ass, a race car driver that, coincidentally, can kick ass, and perhaps the least believable, the only cop on the planet that doesn’t get winded after running the length of his squad car, Jackie has once again pulls a ripe rutabaga from his ridiculous premise garden, stuffs it with whoop-ass, bakes it at 450 degrees (if you can point out to me a keyboard with a degree symbol, I go down on you), yanks it out of the oven just before it’s done, and finally, heaves the whole mess out the freakin’ window with the most painful ending to scar my brain tissue since I saw “The Big Lebowski”.

Keep in mind, I saw the Hong Kong version, so I can’t comment on the acting or dialogue. But other than the ending, the movie was fun, and would’ve been more fun in the theater. But how the bloody hell would I know, since the theater where I live ran the thing for less than 1 week. Meanwhile dreck like “Species 2” and “The Odd Couple part 2” get top billing. How many times do Lemmon and Mattau have to make shit movies before we as a collective whole stop watching them as they decompose on-screen before our very eyes. Anyway, when I amass my fortune, I’m building my own goddamn theater that will showcase nothing but Jackie Chan movies, in THX Sensurround, for a dollar a ticket. Where was I? Something about a movie review, if I recall… Oh yeah, I feel that I must back up Numskull on this one: that blond guy seriously needed an ass thrashing, but did it happen? Nope. Do I care? Not really. I essentially knew where this movie was headed when the red-headed reporter lady did the 100 yard dash through downtown Generic Australian City in her skivvies. Oops, I hope I didn’t ruin the movie for you, giving away that essential plot point and all. How can you possibly watch the movie now?

I felt there were way too many of moments in this film, as in Rumble, where I just wanted to fast forward through the tacked-on romantic subplot and get to the violence, or to the credits in regard to the final scene, which in case you haven’t deduced by now, involves Jackie going ape-shit with heavy machinery for what seems like 2 consecutive eternities of constipation. As you know from reading my reviews in the past, I rarely get too deep into the movie, instead going for more of a general impression style of review. If you want a synopsis, read the top of the damn page. I’m just here to tell ya whether or not I can recommend the flick or not, and in this case I can say without and fear of retaliation… see Mr. Nice Guy. It’s cute, the fight scenes are gorgeous, it’s funny, Jackie does his own stunts, yadda yadda ya. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve seen Who Am I? first. I was spoiled rotten by that flick, wasn’t I?

Dan-O’s Rating: 7/10

By Dembone

This was the first Chan film I ever saw in the theater, and it blew me away then as it does now. I was inspired to write this review as I just came back from showing this film to my mother, a 68 year-old ‘Murder She Wrote’ fan (also rapidly becoming a JC fan!) and I always find myself more sensitive to details when I’m watching a movie with her. One thing I noticed it that it really is more or less non-stop action. Very few breathers. Great stunts, great fights, poor plot, terrible acting… All in all, the formula for a great JC flick!

The only let down for me is the prop finale. Like many JC fans, I’d much rather see a well done fight scene as a climax rather than the corny hovercraft / earthmover destruction derbys. The finale in which the house is demolished is way, way too long. I even found myself reading the cheezit box label. Well, still didn’t stop this from being among my favorite JC flicks! Good Job, Jackie!

Dembone’s Rating: 9/10 (perfect 10 sans bulldozer)

By Ro

This was my first Jackie Chan movie (yeah, I came to the party late), so of course I loved it! If you’ve got ‘non Chan fan’ friends, this is a good movie to start them off with (or Rush Hour). They’re probably not ready for the 200 proof ‘good stuff’ yet.

Jackie stars as a TV chef who accidentally gets mixed up in a gang war. He’s dressed for the most part in really baggy clothes and looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag. Since I had never seen him before, I got a real kick out of the sight of this seemingly nondescript man doing the most incredible things! If you’ve watched his other movies, you’ve viewed him sans shirt, so you’ve already seen the muscles and I’m sure it’s not as much fun then, but the story’s OK and the action and fights are great! The scene in the warehouse includes a silent film comedy with blue doors and a fight with Jackie almost getting emasculated by a table saw! Incredible, worth the price of rental for this scene alone!

It’s also completely in English (no dubbing). Look for director (and current TV star) Samo Hung in a cameo as a cyclist!

Ro’s Rating: 8/10

By Marcia

Watched this one three times in four days the week it came out on video here in the US. Tells you right there it’s not a bad film. Of course, I was just waiting for the chance to see the Cantonese version, as those are often better. Whaddaya know, though, I like the English version much better (with the exception of the fact that a couple fight scenes are shortened). For one thing, I love the digeridoo music in the background every time somebody from the local gang shows up. Plus, it’s always nice to see a version which isn’t dubbed (in this case, the English one; they subtitle the Mandarin that Jackie’s sweetie speaks).

Several humorous bits are well worth your time, too: Samo’s cameo, the Buster Keaton-esque scene with the opening and closing doors at the construction site, and the “small breasts” comment are all worth a good chuckle. Much has been made of the lameness of the ending here (and I will admit I wondered what the hell Giancarlo was keeping in his basement that made the place explode), but what made it sweet for me was the foreshadowing (Your Sign of Quality Literature); the baddie is so totally anal retentive about his home’s cleanliness that wrecking shit seems almost like a better revenge than beating the snot out of him.

Marcia’s Rating: 8/10

By James H.

What’s up with these writers? Why, why would they be so unoriginal as to give Jackie the same name? He played ‘Jackie’ in “Crime Story,” “Police Story,” “First Strike” and now “Mr. Nice Guy.” Come on really, how about some other names! One can purchase numerous books with nothing but names!

OK, now that I’ve vented, I’ll continue. “Mr. Nice Guy” was a fun movie. It had all of the usual elements that one will find in a Jackie Chan film. Plenty of fights, comedy and bad supporting characters. His friend Lakeisha was annoying, not to the degree as say that punk in “Rumble in the Bronx.” Fortunately, she wasn’t in the movie all that long.

This movie had, like I said, plenty of fights. Highlights for me were: the carriage scene and the fight in the construction area. Again this movie had the same lame ending as “Rumble in the Bronx.” That’s were this movie breaks under its own weight. It takes Jackie 5 minutes to trashs the bad guy’s house. Why mass destruction? What ever happened to good old ass kicking? The other thing that bothered me was the ending was also like “Police Story” (the cop asking “Did you see anything?” “No, of course not.”).

Besides all of that it was a fun movie, Sammo is an amazing director and Jackie has never looked better. It’s fun, exciting and wholly implausible.

James H’s Rating: 7/10

By BS

This movie brought nothing but hype. Although I saw this movie a long time ago, March 20, opening day here in the US, the memories are still vivid. When I first saw the trailer, I was blown away! I saw the first showing of the trailer at a screening of Supercop, where Jackie happened to be there himself and had a Q&A session for the audience. Best 12 bucks I’ve ever spent. So I was obviously charged up for Mr. Nice Guy. By the way, why do those trailers seem to reveal so much? I wish there were some surprises. Oh well. Then I saw it, and sweated. I was looking at my watch, having to be somewhere real soon, and there was a guy who kept copying Jackie’s broken phrases, and a family of 6, with 2 kids crying.

So I wasn’t in the best mood to see this. Although, my situtation was like this, I still tried my best to be as objective as possible. It had it’s typical juvenille humor, along with easily forgettable plot. There seemed to be a very good flow of fighting, pretty balanced I would say. The movie reminded me of other Chan films. Police Story’s mall scene, Project A 2’s hot pepper scene, Rumble in the Bronx’ hovercraft bit along with cheesy gansters, Operation Condor’s annoying 3 women, and the list goes on. I wish it had better humor, but it failed for me. So I look to the prop fighting scenes. I must admit, the scene at the construction sight must have been in my top 10 favorites, where it was executed brilliantly.

It made for much of the movie’s lacking in character, plot, ending. So, it still had Chan’s element in it, which will always keep my interest. He seems to be coming up with such good ideas, I never cease to wonder why his movies get worse, in the other places. You take a mistake and improve on it. You want good endings like Drunken Master 2, or Wheels on Meals; the humor of Twin Dragons and Drunken Master; plots like First Strike and Police Story, and this is where Mr. Nice Guy seems to lack. I suppose you can’t make a perfect JC movie, but there are plenty of bad ones already. I know JC can make really wonderful movies, because all in all, some have really good humor, others, plot. By now, why not have it all together?

BS’s Rating: 6/10

By Dead Channel

“Mr. Keung? Sooo… how do you like my style?” Oops! Wrong movie! On with it. This movie was cool, but it seemed like mostly action more than fighting. I must say, the similarities to Rumble in the Bronx are fucking uncanny! Check this out: Have a gang dressed like a bunch of fuckers from the 1980’s who listen to Madonna, another “rival” gang of guys wearing suits who want their “stuff” (aka Coke vs. Diamonds) back from the rivals, a fight scene at a construction site (we’ll compare this one to the warehouse scene alright), a big vehicle which runs over/hits the main bad guy in the end (Rumble’s hovercraft vs. Nice Guy’s big’ol ass tractor-bulldozer thing) and numerous other accounts. In any case, pardon that bullshit I just typed above, because this movie really is quite dope. The scene with the fight on the horse carriage? Dope. The fight scene at the contruction site with the machinery? Doper. The scene where… something happened? Dopest.

Anyway, I have the subtitled Chinese version (winkwink) with the moreimpossibletoreadthanDrunkenMaster2subtitles, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying this movie. I love the fact that Jackie is a television chef, it’s quite humerous I think. But perhaps the best fucking part of this movie was the Burger King sign (the neon sign, the horse carriage scene, right before Jackie and his girlfriend jump on the carriage) which reads: HUNGRY JACK’S. God damn that’s funny, and I actually think Hungry Jack’s is the joint over in Aussie-land which has that name instead of Burger Queens. Anyway, fork this… I’m done. Check this one out especially if you’re a fan of his newer movies. The black chick looks good too I might add!

Dead Channel’s Rating: 8/10 (seemed like an almost direct copy of Rumble)

By Eirias

Normally, it’s difficult to distinguish between one Jackie Chan movie and another. I run out of words, of inventive and varied ways to describe them, to convince people that they should run and see another one. This may be the best yet released here – if not, it’s certainly tied with First Strike. First Strike relied on one or two great bits to carry it through, but was a little uneven. Mr Nice Guy is much more consistent, and even has a comprehensible plot. It’s a return to a much simpler plot line, Jackie protecting his girlfriend, with no silly saving the world threads tossed in. I like it better this way, though, honestly, plot isn’t the reason I go see Jackie Chan movies. Neither is the acting. Mr Nice Guy was shot entirely in English, but it’s still a Hong Kong film. The actors they found who spoke English are the same caliber of actor as the actors who dubbed the first four films. Richard Norton, as the villain is particularly awful. The girls are — well, having seen how poorly some quite talented actresses, like Maggie Cheung, have fared in Jackie’s earlier films, I don’t really see any point in criticizing their lack of performance, but Miki Lee is at least cute. Chan gets to act though, for one scene in which he thinks he’s lost his girlfriend. He doesn’t act often, and hasn’t in any of the first four films released, so it’s nice to see him do a little.

The real reason this film kicks the shit out of the competition is Sammo Hung. (Odd note, his name is misspelled Samo in the newspaper ads, and in the opening credits, but in the end credits, they get it right.) He has a cameo role as a passing cyclist, which is easily the best part of the movie, and he directs. Unlike Stanley Tong and Jackie Chan, who directed the first four, Sammo is not only very very good at action and action choreography, but he also has a visual style. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything approaching good cinematography in a Jackie Chan movie before, and most of Mr Nice Guy is shot in his usual style. But a few sequences, especially a desperate race after a runaway horse and cart (don’t ask) slide into a Chungking Express style blurred background, slow-motion thing which is quite cool to watch. Hell, even the driving a big truck through a building climax is well shot. And explosive. And New Line has the courtesy not to put credits in the way of the out-takes. On the other hand, I don’t really have as much desire to see it again, but this probably stems from seeing Who Am I shortly after, and Mr Nice Guy begins to pale in comparision.

Eirias’ Rating: 8/10

By Jim Carrey

Well, I was quite surprised. The American version was really a lot better than the Hong Kong version. For starters, this one wasn’t dubbed. It was in it’s actual English language. Anyone else wondered why Baggio sounded like Vincent Price? Bravo, Bravo, Bravissimo Bravo for the better editing in the US release. They took out some of the Ronny vision fights and kept it mostly in 4th gear. I will say that the acting is a lot better when not dubbed in Chinese and just kept in English. The movie is shorter now so it isn’t so damn boring anymore. Unfortunately they didn’t edit out the most gratuitous scene ever committed to celluloid, that is the Underwear marathon scene. It still looks like a commercial for Victoria Secret’s and NASCAR. Jackie as usual does his same old Jackie routine. Yet again, he screws up the end by blowing things up like in Rumble, still better than Titanic. The plot is weak but at least not abysmal. The film is good and enough said. If you want to see a really great recent Jackie film, go check out Thunderbolt or his brand new one, Who Am I? Those are his best films since his early-mid ninties period.

Jim Carrey’s Rating: HK version 6/10; US version 7/10

By Andrew

I must say I enjoyed this film quite a bit. Mr. Nice Guy is slick and fast paced and contains a few eye-popping stunts. I had one real problem with this film however, and it’s something of a big problem. This film has way too many similarities to Rumble in the Bronx. There’s a gang that isn’t 100% bad, a bunch of guys in suits that are, mass destruction at the end of the film, and lots of fights. Let’s not forget that Jackie has to go on his own to get the bad guys, and that the cops play dumb at the end. (“we didn’t see anything” – a direct steal from Police Story.) All in all, Mr. Nice Guy is an excellent film, and it’s suitable for novice fans. Even non-action lovers will stand u and cheer for the horse carriage fight/chase scene (did I mention that it was stolen from Buster Keaton?).

Andrew’s Rating: 7/10

By Brian Mojica

This is a *good* Jackie Chan movie when it comes to action. It seems as if they loaded it with as much action as they could. What they got in exchange was a very flimsy plot, in the true Jackie Chan tradition. It involves drug-dealing gangs chasing a reporter who videotaped a transaction gone to hell (potential X-File: the one-camera recording resulted in what appears to be a multi-camera, professionally edited action sequence). Plot developments are revealed during the first hour, while the second half deals mostly with action sequences and chases. The action scenes, however, are very well-done. The highlight of the movie is the fight at a construction site, where Jackie does some dangerous stuntwork with electric saws. The fight also has Jackie doing one of his most impressive “climbs” since Project A Part II’s climb up a bamboo scaffolding.

Some of the action sequences could have been better had it not been for the use slow-motion/strobing effects, which I found distracting in some parts. A house and several expensive cars were demolished by a huge truck for the finale. I didn’t find this impressive at all. Jackie’s movies have been relying on big blasts instead of great fights for the finale, which is unfortunate. It’s been a while since we’ve been treated to a finale like those in Miracles and Dragons Forever. A little more humor and a more effective ending would have greatly improved this film, but it’s still enjoyable.

Brian Mojica’s Rating: 7/10

By Vic Nguyen

A good movie, but is not up to par with Project A and Wheels on Meals. Jackie plays a popular television chef, but after running into a mysterious woman, his life takes a sudden turn. It turns out that a mob tape has been switched with one of his cooking tapes, and the mob will stop at nothing to get it back. Great fights and chases, could easily be called Rumble in the Bronx 2, but it gets old and repetitive after a while. Watch for Samo Hung in a funny cameo on a bicycle during a fight filmed completely inside a van!

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Fist of Legend (1994) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Fist of Legend" French DVD Cover

“Fist of Legend” French DVD Cover

Director: Gordon Chan
Cast: Jet Li, Shinobu Nakayama, Chin Siu Ho, Yasuaki Kurata, Paul Chun, Billy Chow, Ada Choi, Yuen Cheung Yan, Jackson Lau, Wong Sun, Derek Cheung
Running Time: 98 min.

By Dan-O

Hyperkinetic. That’s what they’ll call it.

Know what I call it? You don’t wanna know what I call it. And I call “IT” the same thing I call remakes.

“Who ya gonna call?”. Sorry, I… had to say that.

Fist of Legend is fine for what it is, but it is not a kung fu movie. It’s a “hyperkinetic” pant-load. To put this on the level with Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan films would be cause for me to punch your balls off.

“Hi, I’m Jet Li! I have wires attached to all areas of my body including my rear-area! Watch me ‘leap’ 40 feet into the air! Whee! People don’t seem to notice or even give 2 craparoones that my fight scenes have more cuts that 178 MTV videos stacked end-to-end, so I just keep cranking out these here movies. Helloooooo Hollywood!!”

Thanks to this movie, and others like it, we now have those wonderful fight scenes in the Matrix that everyone seems to circle-jerk over. Joy! Thanks Yuen Poo-Wing, or Woo-Ping. whatever. thank you for that. Marvelous job. Stupendous. Fantastic. You’re the bee’s-knees m’man! You go girl! (in the background, the reviewer loads his trusty shotgun and tucks his airline tickets into a new nylon duffle-bag for his upcoming “visit” to Hong Kong).

Dan-O’s Rating: 6/10 (Okay, so the movie wasn’t THAT bad. I just enjoy being a major, MAJOR asshole.)

By Perkele

Fuck off all you fastidious Bruce Lee fans who think that this is an insult towards the original “Fist of Fury”. Face it: the one and only good thing about “Fist of Fury” is Bruce Lee. I mean, if the film’s star would be someone like Jimmy Wang Yu [all respects to Jimmy], nobody would regard it as a classic nowadays! Its story is stupid, Lo Wei’s direction poor and it’s one of the most racist and anti-Japanese movies ever filmed. These elements however are not present in “Fist of Legend”. In a matter of fact, “Fist of Legend” has almost the best story, acting and editing ever to appear in a HK kung fu film.

Jet Li gives his most charismatic performances to date and the rest of the cast [especially Chin Siu Ho and Yasuki Kurata] are also superb [Note: I’m reviewing here the original, uncut, subtitled HK version of the movie]. You can’t find better fight choreography from another 90’s martial arts flick — Yuen Woo-Ping is at his best. The bouts look realistic and here comes the best part: nobody’s flying!

The final fight with Billy Chow is too far-fetched and long, I guess Woo-Ping ran out of ideas or something. Both Billy and Jet seem to be knocked down for about three times during the fight, but every fucking time they stand up again, ready to rumble. And after Jet has finally whipped Billy’s ass with his belt, I expected his trousers to tumble down. That should’ve happened!

If this was a Jackie Chan flick, Jackie most certainly would’ve included that [I almost laughed out loud only when I thought about it], but this is a serious action-drama [like “Fist of Fury”], not some wacky kung fu comedy. The most stupid thing nevertheless is the cop-out ending where is revealed that Zen Zen [or whoever, played by Jet Li anyway] wasn’t actually killed! This ending sucks big time and it almost leaves a bad taste in your mouth. But still. Highly recommended!

Perkele’s Rating: 9/10

By Yi-Long

This movie, together with Drunken Master 2, is my favourite martial arts movie ever! The movie is the classic story of Chen Cheh, A student from the Ching Wu kung fu school, who comes back after he finds out his master has been killed by a Japanese Karate master.He soon finds out his master was poisened. Well. although this is a classic story, there are some differences in this movie from the 1972 original Bruce Lee movie (Fist of Fury). First of all, Jet Li portray’s Chen Cheh as a smart, cool and thinking character, instead of Bruce’s young, wild and outraged portrayel of the character. Also, in the original movie, all Japanese in the movie were extremely evil, mean or obnoxious. In this modern version, only the Japanese general (Billy Chow) is evil. Almost all other Japanese are just normal people, caught in a war they never asked for.

Of course the fight scenes in this movie are ALOT better than those in the original. These are the best fight scenes u could ask for, with 3 of HK’s most talented martial artists (Jet Li, Chin Siu-Ho and Billy Chow) performing with and/or against each other. Another very good point about the fight-scenes are the fact that the wires are there only to enhance some action, not to MAKE the action. All action is extremely tight, fast and “realistic”; Jet Li has never looked better! Well, there u have it…A classic tale redone in a way Kung Fu fans could only dream of…. A perfect Kung Fu movie and a MUST WATCH for any Jet Li fan.

Yi-Long’s Rating: 9.5/10 (This score is for the original, subtitled HK-version, not the dubbed American version, which I haven’t seen)

By James H.

Jet Li is a good actor. I like him. He has a good sort of screen presence, maybe not as commanding as Sean Connery, but he’s still there. “Fist of Legend” is a good example. Jet plays Chen Zhen, a martial artsy kinda guy. He portrays him with a relaxed attitude, like he doesn’t feel the need to prove anything to the audience.

You may say, “James, I’ve heard of that Chen Zhen character before, but from where?” Well, I’ll tell you. Chen Zhen was the main character in a little known movie called “Fist of Fury” (or “Chinese Connection”, depending on which side of the world you live on), starring a little known actor named Bruce Lee. You see, what we have here with “Fist of Legend” is a case of Money Hungry Producer Syndrome. That’s when a producer takes a proven hit, and remakes it. Sometimes it works (“Payback”, “Thomas Crown Affair”) and sometimes it fails miserably (“Psycho”, “The Haunting”). This one succeeds.

Yeun Woo-Ping did the fight choreography for this film, and did one hell of a job. The fights are really well done, but are sped up, which rather ruins the effect. They flow very well, and do not jar the viewer like in “Black Mask”. The actors move and flow very well, very gracefully. Also, the wire effects are done well too. That meaning they don’t look overly ridiculous, and overly fake as, say, “Once Upon a Time in China & America”.

“Fist of Legend” was a fun movie to watch. Jet Li is good, but he shouldn’t be compared to Bruce Lee, because no one can compare to him. As I said, it’ s a fun movie, nothing spectacular, just good plain punching and kicking and “You killed my master!!” stuff. You know, fun.

James H’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Vic Nguyen

This remake of Bruce Lee’s classic Fist of Fury features the fast paced action direction of Yuen Woo-ping and the talents of Mainland martial artist, Jet Li. Li stars as Bruce’s character, Chen Zhen, the vengeful student out to gain revenge on his sifu’s death. Although Gordon Chan Kar-seung is credited as director, he was not on the set during a fraction of the picture. This is where Yuen Woo-ping takes over, delivering his blend of excellent choreography and methodical pacing, which is unfortunately overtaken by extreme, cartoonish undercraking. Despite this, the fights will likely satisfy even the most jaded kung fu fan, and the film overall will surely please most Bruce Lee fans.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Andrew

A re-make of a popular Bruce Lee flick, this is the best Jet Li film I have seen to date. Every line of dialogue is absolutely integral to the story and the choreography of the action sequences is first rate. Many of the fights are carefully planned and staged with convincing flying effects. There are only a few brawls – most fights are one-on-one situations, either contests or heated battles. The individual fights feature more amazing moves than the large scale encounters. I appreciated this movie for its exploration of racism and race issues which were exacerbated by war. This feels non-judgmental and everything occurs in a matter-of-fact way. Explicit racial insults and implicit assumptions are presented for what they are with no apologies.

Both the Japanese and the Chinese people in the film express racial reservations about each other, so it isn’t one sided either. It doesn’t help Jet Li’s character any that his girlfriend is Japanese, on top of the fact that he gets blamed for the death of Akutogawa, the sensei of a Japanese martial arts school. He has his hands full with trying to resolve the internal conflict of his own school. The only substantive plot twist (at least from what I can tell) comes at the end of the film. Because it is the end, I’m not going to share it with you- you’ll have to see it for yourself!

Andrew’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |

Black Mask 2: City of Masks (2002) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Black Mask 2: City of Masks" International Theatrical Poster

“Black Mask 2: City of Masks” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Andy On, Teresa Maria Herrera, Scott Adkins, Tobin Bell, Sean Marquette, Michael Bailey Smith, Tracy Lords, Blacky Ko Sau Leung, Terence Yin Chi Wai, Rob Van Dam, Silvio Simac, Nicola Berwick, Oris Erhuero
Running Time: 101 min.

By Reefer

While searching for a scientist to help him deal with his own genetically-enhanced condition, Black Mask (Andy On) stumbles upon some more rejects of science that come in the form of WWF wrestlers. Sound dumb? Oh yeah. It is.

Experimented on with animal DNA, the wrestlers sport names related to the creatures they had been infected with. So there is someone so creatively named Iguana, Wolf, and Chameleon. And as imagined, they acquire many of the strengths of those animals and sporadically transform themselves at the will of filmmakers. Yawn. Plus, being the big, dumb lugs that they are, they allow their own mad scientist (Tobin Bell) to give them injections without much explanation. Then they wonder what’s happening to them.

Finally, one of them goes berserk at a wrestling match, killing and maiming the spectators only to be confronted by Black Mask. Some to the make-up and costumes involved in the creature transformations are laughably cheesy. For example, the rubber-looking face and arms of the Iguana’s getup appears so fake that it you wonder if his next venture would be to stomp on Tokyo.

But, curiously, there are also sequences filled with flawless CGI effects, leading me to believe this is Hark trying to get “creative” again. He must have gotten involved in this sequel because he was bored and wanted to desperately to mix a creature feature, martial arts, and comic book stories in some kind of genre blender just to see what would come out. What we get here is unfortunately an incoherent mess.

Look, I like films that are silly and fun too, but the product here is neither. I am not sure that Hark’s style suits the material as much as, say, Corey Yuen’s would. This might be what we would have gotten had Hark been hired to direct X-Men?

Some of the problems begin immediately from a casting standpoint. The man picked to don Jet Li’s mask, Andy On, has all the charisma of a lawn jockey. His acting style seems cue card based. I am not sure what credentials earned him this role, but it surely wasn’t his acting or his martial arts prowess, not that this film features much real kung fu anyway. I would have loved to see Chui Man Cheuk replace Li for the second time since the OUATIC series. The wrestlers. . . well, I probably don’t have to describe their performances in great detail. The word monosyllabic quickly comes to mind. Ex-porn star Traci Lords comes off (pun intended) better than the rest. While her character, Chameleon, is completely computer-generated during her fight scenes, she manages to bring life it during a few dramatic scenes.

Yuen Woo Ping handles the film’s fight choreography. Mostly wires and speed editing, not much here that is fluid or attractive to the eye, just bodies flying and bouncing off stuff, throwing weak kicks and punches. Surprising how unappealing the action is here considering Yuen’s talent and filmography.

Because of this film, I have concocted a theory: Never trust an actor with a preposition for a last name. I have no basis for this theory, mind you, but I will wait eagerly for someone to hire a Willie Of or a Bruce At or Yuen Below or Johnny To (oops… rmind).

Reefer’s Rating: 3/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Black Mask (1996) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Black Mask" Theatrical Poster

“Black Mask” Theatrical Poster

Director: Daniel Lee
Cast: Jet Li, Lau Ching Wan, Karen Mok, Patrick Lung Kong, Françoise Yip, Anthony Wong, Moses Chan Ho, Winston Ellis, Russ Price, Henry Fong Ping, Lawrence Ah Mon, Chung Ging Fai, Hung Yan Yan, Kwan Yung, Deon Lam Dik On, Michael Ian Lambert, Ken Lok, Shut Mei Yee
Running Time: 95 min.

By Numskull

Let it be known, dear reader, that this review is for the uncut Taiwanese release of the film, not the more common Hong Kong version or the mutilated atrocity from Artisan Entertainment. The DVD is from the now-defunct Ritek, so the subtitles are “imbedded” and the only language option is a Mandarin dub. Surprisingly, the disc actually worked properly for me and I was able to watch it all at once without mishap. (While they were in business, Ritek never seemed to understand that DVDs are not supposed to freeze up and become unplayable two thirds of the way into the movie.)

So…meet Tsui Chik/Black Mask, Team 701 survivor, librarian extraordinaire by day, crime fighter with generic headgear for anonymity purposes by night. Like all remnants of the elite Team 701, his nervous system has been modified to make him immune to pain. Why is Team 701 referred to in the past tense, you may ask? (Go ahead, ask. I don’t mind.) Because, without pain to let them know that their bodies had sustained damage, its members had a distressing tendency to overexert themselves and die trying to accomplish their super secret agent stuff. The project was deemed a failure, and most of its survivors were executed.

The library Tsui Chik works in is frequented…for some strange reason…by Traci, a bitchy, gold-digging floozy whose refusal to involve herself with working class men has created a long string of unhappy relationships. When the other library workers urge her to request the pleasure of Tsui Chik’s company, she balks at the idea. Not only is he not rich, he’s a spineless little weenie. His cop friend Shek can attest to that; he’s always saving Tsui Chik from getting beaten up because he won’t strike back in self-defense. Disagreements should be resolved peacefully, he says. Then, he secretly helps Shek in his current assignment (solving the murders of Hong Kong’s drug dealers and protecting the last remaining big cheese) by tagging along with the cops who head over to the scene where the would-be assassins are at work and kicking their asses.

When the smoke has cleared, the other cops think that Shek is the Black Mask, and Tsui Chik has a big problem…his life and the lives of those around him are now in danger because of an encounter with former Team 701 comrade Yeuk-lan, working for the opposition. He quits the library but still ends up being responsible for Traci’s safety, so after a scene in which he inexplicably phases through the floor of a vehicle getting perforated by gun-toting bad guys, he hides her unconscious body in a pile of trash…how appropriate. Later, he brings her to his hideout, and when he calls her on the phone using his regular Tsui Chik voice, she doesn’t wonder how he got the phone number despite the fact that she has no idea that he and Black Mask are the same man.

Anyway…eventually, Traci decides that Black mask would be a good man to settle down with and leech money from, and both she and Shek learn his real identity. After another hostile run-in with him, Seuk-lin spares his life, remembering happier times, and is executed by her superior for it. Finally, Black Mask has his climactic showdown with the rebel Team 701 remnant commander, an Ozzy Osbourne look-alike (forgive me, but for a time the silly bastard’s face was everywhere) with a few tricks up his sleeve.

I liked this more than I thought I would. The fighting, while not copious in quantity, is pretty good, and the plot is definitely not as flimsy as certain others in Jet Li’s filmography. Anthony Wong is very enjoyable as the drug dealer whose reaction to garbage-bagged family members is almost no reaction at all, and even Traci wasn’t TOO annoying after a while. Perhaps I’m getting soft in my old age.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By S!DM

Profanity laden and hyper-violent, this Jet Li actioner features excellent action scenes, many of them capped off with Hollywood style explosions, definitely Jet’s most American style film. Good direction is muddled by a confusing script, though, and the violence at times can be repulsive. Stick around for the finale, where Jet battles Mike Lambert in an all out kickfest not to be missed. As always, Lau Ching Wan is great, but the rest of the supporting characters are weak. On a side note, the man who frees himself from the handcuffs at the beginning of the film, Russ Price, has an exclusive interview on my StuntFighters website. Shameless plug, I know, but I just had to!

S!DM’s Rating: 8/10

By James H.

“Black Mask” is an interesting film. Sure, the premise has been done time and time again, but the plot doesn’t really matter here. Jet Li stars as a guy who has been trained to kill. He has even had an operation so he cannot feel any pain. Not to forget, he is also part of some elite killing squad. Something has gone awry and carnage ensues. Jet escapes and thinks he is the only one who has survived. Flash-forward a couple years and now Jet is working as a librarian and leading a normal life. One of his friends is a cop nick-named “The Rock”. Suddenly, all of Hong Kong’s drug lords are being killed off by the 701 Squad, Jet’s old buddies. So, he does what any man in this situation would do. He dresses up as a masked superhero and takes the bad guys on himself.

The biggest problem with “Black Mask” is that it does not sustain the same mood throughout; it cannot make up its mind on what kind of movie it wants to be. It becomes a walking contradiction. Some scenes feature gory violence, others have campy special effects and even some comedic scenes. The comedic scenes are the ones that hurt it the most. They don’t belong here at all. And to top it off, they’re just not funny.

The action scenes are generally well done. The choreography is great, but the direction is lacking. Lee depends too much on shaky, “NYPD Blue” camera movement. Which means the viewer gets nauseous, or can’t really see what’s going on. There are some saving graces. The first fight when Jet is the Black Mask is really cool, as is the final one.

Jet Li puts on a good performance. He has a good screen presence, but it’s just not as commanding as Chow Yun-Fat. The supporting cast is really good too, with the exception of Karen Mok. Mok is just an annoyance here, kind of like the two women in “Who Am I?”.

“Black Mask” is interesting in that it looks good. I liked Jet’s character, the trench-coat and hat looked really cool. It’s colourful and fun, but still a little too violent (there are 4 severed hands in the film). It would have been just fine as a moderately violent superhero movie.

James H’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Beyond Hypothermia (1996) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Beyond Hypothermia" International Theatrical Poster

“Beyond Hypothermia” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Patrick Leung Pak Kin
Cast: Jacqueline Wu Chien Lien, Lau Ching Wan, Hon Choi Sek, Shirley Wong Qui Lee, Ken Choi Kwok Ping, Choi Kwok Keung, Ho Hon Chau, Lam Chi Tai
Running Time: 85 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

The opening sequence of “Beyond Hypothermia” fools the viewers into thinking that it’s just another contender in the countless number of “assassin” films that have been overflowing the industry since John Woo’s “The Killer”. As typical as the first several minutes may be, this film stands on it’s own.

The glamorous Wu Chien-Lien plays a no name/no nonsense killer who is so ice-cold that she can easily pop a cap into an adorable 4-year old girl without thinking twice. When she’s not assassinating under her estranged aunt/boss/caretaker, you can find her sitting alone in her room trying to find a couple of things that are missing in her life: an ‘identity’ and a ‘past’. Around all of this, she discovers that beneath her cruel world of contract-killing, she has room for “love” – which is discovered during frequent visits to a small, but busy, noodle stall owned and ran by a good-hearted ex-gangster, played by Lau Ching Wan.

Her feelings grow deeper and deeper towards this man each day she visits. Even though she appears odd and alienated with no communication or expression skills, the noodle-owner reads past all of this and realizes there is something special about her. Slowly, they both develop mutual feelings for each other which leads to a sweet romance that is cut short when the reality of her full-time job brings a deadly impact on both of their lives.

Along with it’s equally entertaining subplots (which involves a great performance by Korean actor Hon Choi Sek), superbly cut and original action sequences (the climax made me speechless) and a perfectly fitted musical score – “Beyond Hypothermia” is a definite new favorite in the “Heroic Bloodshed” genre (THERE’S that word). Another Milkway Image film that shouldn’t be missed!

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Miracles | aka Mr. Canton and Lady Rose (1989) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Miracles" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Miracles” Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: The Canton Godfather
Director: Jackie Chan
Cast: Jackie Chan, Rose Gua Ah Leh, Anita Mui Yim-fong, Wu Ma, Michael Chow Man Kin, Fung Hak On, Ricky Hui, Ray Lui, Mars, Richard Ng Yiu-hon, Dick Wei, Gloria Yip Wan-Yee, Kenny Bee, Alan Chan, Anthony Chan Yau
Running Time: 125 min.

By Reefer

Let this film go down as one of Jackie’s best looking films. The cinematography, camera-work, and sets are really a step up from his normal action-fests. I understand that Jackie learned to use a steady-cam for this movie and its safe to say that he fell in love with it. There are some rather complex and gracefully shots in this movie. But, unfortunately, good movies are not simply a bunch of pretty pictures spliced together.

Jackie plays a poor country boy who rescues a gangland boss and ultimately gains control of the crime world of 1930s Hong Kong. He romances the beautiful Anita Mui, who is a welcome addition to any movie, and battles a rival gang.

There are fewer fights in Miracles and considerably more story, which is all at once a plus and minus. Fewer fights are bad because unless you have lived under a rock, this guy is the best action star of his time. More story is good if you have something to say, to show, and to explore. What we get in the story are a lot of farcical comedy scenes, some force-fed touching moments, and Jackie playing the good guy. Fight scenes are still forced into the mix, not that anyone would complain. I was waiting for them and have the fast forward button calluses to prove it.

Action fans seem to rate Jackie’s films based on the quality of the stunts and fights found within. I am no different. There are three quite wonderful fight sequences in this movie. They are really some of his best. The fight in the tea house. A fight featuring rickshaws, stairs, and clay pots. The finale is the infamous rope factory fight. Individually, these scenes are better than the climaxes from most movies. There are simply unmatched skills at work right up on the screen. Creativity to spare.

Jackie, apparently, is his own worst enemy. He has created for himself a persona that is not easily shed. We see and love his films for the rewards we expect. Action. Action. Action. I hope in future that he can maybe branch out (maybe as a director) and show us that he can be a Kubrick, a Wilder, or a Spielberg.

Reefer’s Rating: 7/10

By James H.

It seems that Jackie Chan has spent his entire life trying to make the prefect kung fu/comedy film. He tries like hell yet again, with “Miracles”. Chan has a gift, whether you would like to admit it or not. He has a gift for action, directing and physical comedy. He does not, however, have a gift for writing.

The two problems with “Miracles” are the story and the running time. The two, coincidentally, go hand in hand. You may or may not know this, but “Miracles” runs a full 127 minutes long. What’s the problem with that, you may ask. Well, a large portion of that running time is devoted to a sub plot that is cliched, wholly unoriginal and remarkably boring. I will not describe said plot, as I do not want to waste more time on the subject.

The main plot concerns a country bumpkin (Chan), who inadvertently becomes a mob boss. A rather interesting plot does make room for some good, even great scenes here and there. There are some great fights near the beginning and one at the end involving several henchmen in a rope factory.

As always, Jackie does a great job as director. There are some very nice shots, and great cinematography, although the second half of the film is very flawed in terms of pacing. With a better script, and a more liberal editor, “Miracles” could have been the “Godfather” of kung fu films. Unfortunately Miracles” ended up being the “Mobsters” of kung fu films. I’m just glad Richard Grieco wasn’t in it.

James H’s Rating: 5.5/10

By Ro

To a fan of 1930s screwball comedies, this movie is Nirvana… The Holy Grail… and Valhalla rolled into one. It’s a wonderfully faithful reproduction of the style (Anita Mui’s manners and movements are pure 30s!) mixed with Jackie’s special brand of mayhem. What could be better? The result is pure delight! Granted, there are only a few fights leading up to the incredible rope factory brawl, but you can (and did) say the same for Wheels On Meals and Who Am I?, and the battle with the richshaws (?) was awesomely inventive. I think most of the physical outtakes were from that one fight – shows you how hard it was to film.

I got the dubbed Venom Video version from Advantage. The picture quality is very good and the voices are clear. My only objection is that many of the gangsters did imitations like Bogart or Peter Lorre and it sounded bizarre and Jackie was dubbed (I think) by the same guy who did Twin Dragons. He did a better job here, but it still sounded awful in spots.

Dubbing aside (and we can’t blame Jackie for that), this movie is just wonderful. I especially adored Jackie’s typical, “Why can’t we do good…?” speech and the gang’s non-typical reaction! Brilliant! If you love 1930s comedies, you’ll LOVE this movie! If you don’t – “Go feed the goldfish!”

Ro’s Rating: 10/10

By Exothrash

Wow. I never thought that I’d see Jackie Chan play a Hong Kong mob boss. The movie starts off with Jackie playing a dumb-ass who only knows how to fight (imagine that), and the movie ends with Jackie playing a dumb-ass who only knows how to fight. Only at the end of the movie, he controls one of the most powerful organized (I guess) crime syndicates in HK. Don’t get me wrong though, I liked the movie a lot. The fight scene in the restaurant when Jackie had to prove that he was tough enough to run the gang was short, but pretty cool. I liked the string factory fight, but not as much as the fight in the restaurant when Jackie was meeting with another mob boss. Overall, it was a very good movie, maybe not worth buying, but definitely worth watching.

Exothrash’s Rating: 8/10

By Numskull

Some movies are kind of like the average American middle class family sofa. From the exterior, it is both inviting and fuctional, but not as appealing to the eye as it could be. Perhaps the pattern is ugly, the colors clash with the wallpaper, or there are some rips in the upholstery that will make it a little less pleasant to rest your weary bones upon it.

And, when the time comes for a thorough cleaning of the environs, it might be deemed appropriate to remove the cushions and scavenge the mixture of undesirable refuse and buried treasure to be found beneath them. At first, the waste material that has found its way betwixt the cracks of the supreme family seating unit is a dizzying array of nauseating garbage; dust bunnies, lint, used kleenex, and condoms whose times and owners have come and gone as far as the eye can see. But look beyond this germ’s paradise, and lo! there’s that spare key to the tool shed you thought was lost forever. Here’s a ketchup packet from McDonald’s that has yet to expire; there’s one of those ill-fated Susan B. Anthony silver dollars. And what’s that in the corner with that wad of chewing gum that lost its flavor two years ago stuck to it? Why it’s that prescription you picked up last month, lost, and had to use one of your five remaining refills to replace!

So you see, the family sofa in question hosts a veritable smorgasboard of wayward articles that it’s definitely worth your time and energy to extract…you have only to pluck them from the grime and spent hygiene products with which they are integrated.

MR. CANTON AND LADY ROSE is that sofa. It is neither the best nor the worst case of Jackie directing himself. It sounds like a mixed bag if ever there was one after reading the reviews posted here. If you can tolerate the negative aspects of the film, it will be that much more rewarding when you get to see the excellent restaurant fight, the remarkable rickshaw sequence, and the blow-U-away rope factory scene that should be firmly implanted in the list of Jackie’s ten best finales. Sure there’s a cheesy, sitcomesque story and plot holes big enough for the average male pervert to have an orgasm with, but if you introduce me to a person who gets their jollies by watching Jackie act rather than risk his life, I will in turn introduce them to the jarred and preserved brain of some hapless organ donor to fill their empty cranium.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By Dan-O

Geez, people seem really divided on this one. I see both over the top blowjob reviews AND really bileful maligning blurbs. Brothers, Sisters; come together. Can’t we call a truce just this once?! This is NOT a BAD film, do you understand this?! Y’wanna see a bad film, rent the sequel to the Power Rangers movie, and then get back to me. Better yet, try to keep from taking a sledgehammer (or a jackhammer) to your VCR whilst watching Cannonball Run 2. Then again, this is NOT one of his best movies, especially when it comes to story (how often does THAT happen) or acting. Fights, certainly, some the best ever caught on film, but the (over) acting, uh, no. This movie has it’s moments to be sure, and I’m sure if I had and emotion left in my soul after my recent break-up, I’d feel sorry for the old bag in this movie. There is more plot in this movie than the last 3 JC American theatrical releases, BUT as for the acting, I saw nothing special other than what seemed to me to be a rather forced teary moment at the end. I’d even go so far as to say that I thought Crime Story was the epitome of his acting career.

The fight scenes, yes, are amazing, but again, we KNOW THIS! You don’t go into a Jackie Chan movie thinking or expecting anything less, do you? It’s one of the reasons why you’re a Jackie Chan fan whom happens reading this stupid review right now (which, by the way, is written by a total crank), correct? So why should I waste MY time discussing it any further? They’re superb, that’s all you need to know. If I were to put this movie in my list of favorite JC films, it would probably go in somewhere towards the end of the list, but it’s still a good goddamn movie. Not great, just good. So there. Now BUG OFF!

Dan-O’s Rating: 7/10

By Hendri Liato

Many complained about Jackie Chan trying to make a film instead of just a JC film chockful of set-pieces from the first reel to the last. That’s cynical. While this obvious riff on LADY FOR A DAY sometimes bogs down miserably in trying to observe a semblance of a plot, the whole film has a nice, cheery period atmosphere about it. The gags and melodramatic moments are sometimes crude but when they work, they complement the film to a degree. And I just love seeing actors and stunt people throw punches and kick furnitures in three-piece suits. The fight sequences are all excellent. The fight at the tea house is brimming with comic inventiveness and has a wonderful flow to it. It is one of the best edited sequences in all of JC movies. The rope factory fight is a favorite among fans. The setup for this Rube Goldberg grand finale is mind-boggling enough. The film is an all-round well-mounted production even when the plotting and the feeble score (except for Anita Mui’s nicely done song-and-dance number) are both uninspired. And Jackie even tries that Scorsese-esque tracking shot in the night club. One of JC best.

Hendri Liato’s Rating: 9/10

By Aloho

I loved this film! I would have to say Jackie does his best directing and acting ever. The story is simple and at the same time strong. Every minute is worth watching in this. It never left me waiting for something to happen, like a fight. I just watched it with joy scene by scene. Chan’s acting is so well done when he is naive, confused, angry, etc…This film would still be worth watching without the fights. This really shows how good of an actor Jackie really is. He is not just an action star. But the film is not a drama, and so it doesn’t really call for out-of-this-world preformances. So, the acting is kinda a special bonus. You also get great proformances out of Anita Mui and Bill Tung.

The plot and acting acting are only half of it though. The fights are ever so good. First one, Jackie must prove he is good enough to be boss in a fight with two men. The next scene not to long after that is a fight at a restaurant where Jackie fights off many foes. He uses the enviroment a great deal. Watch him hop around tables and a spiral staircase and fend off opponents with chairs and other props found in the area. This sequence had to have been perfectly planned, it was much like a dance. Then next fight is interesting. With several rickshaws scattered around the street…with Chan’s brand of action, you can probably predict what happens. Well, if you haven’t figures that out, he fights using rickshaws. Then the super rope factory fight. What can I say, it’s just hell’a good.

There is a little one on one fight going on in the finale. I think the guy with that white cloth around his head is the guy Jackie fights at the fish market in Drunken Master 2. The person at the fish market also had the white thingy and I could be mistaken. You think it is over, well, your’e half right. No more action stuff (there was already plenty of that), there is a sappy ending. Some scenes that stood out during the movie. At a party rehersal, Chan asks who has a gun, only expecting a couple of people to raise it up in the air. Unanimously, everybody raises a gun. It’s kinda funny. Another, you see all this stuff happening like explosions and stuff while Mui sings a soft song. Go put this movie on the top of your list if you want to buy Chan movies. This one seemed very rare for me. Thank God for Advantage Video.

Aloho’s Rating: 10/10

By Vic Nuyen

Aside from Drunken Master 2, this is Jackie at his all time best. We all have bashed him for his virtually plotless films, and now it is time to bite our tongues and shut up. The story tells us about a poor young man who’s luck changes every time he buys a rose from a local vendor. After buying the first rose, the once poor man with no hope becomes a highly paid triad boss. He eventually learns the ropes, and now is leading his gang to war with a rival gang, but there is also jealousy among his own gang, which leads to all sorts of trouble.

Enter Anita Mui, a out of work singer hoping to pay back her father’s gambling debts by singing at night at Jackie’s new casino. He agrees, and she is a hit. They eventually fall in love, and now enters the rose vendor from the previous storyline. She is in deep trouble, her daughter is coming on a surprise visit. Her daughter believes that she is a rich successful woman, and if her daughter finds out the truth, than she will be humiliated. To make matters worse, her daughters fiance is also coming to visit with his father, and if they also find out the truth, than the wedding could possibly be called off. Jackie agrees to help and earns the gratitude of the rose vendor.

This film isn’t just a series of gripping storylines either, it also contains some of Jackie Chan’s most innovative and breathtaking fights. The best fights occurs in a rope factory and an outside market place. Now, the format that this film has to seen in is widescreen, which showcases Jackie Chan’s talent as a director. The most impressive shot by Jackie is the tracking shot where Anita Mui enters the new hotel and the camera quickly follows her around, showing her admiration for the hotel room. The problem with this film is that it is extremly difficult to find a subtitled letterboxed copy of this film, I managed to track one down after months and months of calling and bidding. Face it, the only way that this film can possibly be viewed is in widescreen. The widescreen version shows that Jackie talent just doesn’t limit to acting, he is a brilliant director as well. Over all, this film should be viewed by all Jackie Chan fan’s everywhere. If you watch it, you probably will be as impressed as I was.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 10/10

By Clint

This movie ranks #10 on my all time JC movie list. After watching this film, I wanted to go put on a 3 piece suit and one of those really suave hats that Jackie seems to have an obsession for. Maybe I am alone on that, but I do not care. This movie has a touching storyline with a tear jerking ending, but who cares, JC still puts on a show for you. There are three fight scenes that leave you a “wow, they must’ve spent years filming that” feeling; the restaurant fight, the fight/chase on the street, and that rope factory fight that everyone seems to have a hard on for, myself included. Don’t expect an ample amount of stunts or comedy, but the storyline is entertaining enough to keep you interested in between fight scenes. Good luck finding a good print of this one, I watched the letterbox/no english/no subs version, then I had to pick up a dubbed/pan & scan copy just to comprehend what was happening.

Clint’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

CJ7 (2008) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by ningen31
"CJ7" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“CJ7” Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Alien
Director: Stephen Chow
Cast: Stephen Chow, Xu Jiao, Kitty Zhang Yuqi, Yuen Qiu, Danny Chan Kwok Kuen, Tin Kai Man
Running Time: 86 min.

By Ningen

Dicky (played by newcomer child actress Ju Xiao) is an impoverished youngster living with his hard-working dad (played by Stephen Chow) who does dangerous construction jobs to pay for Dicky’s private school. After being taunted by his peers for his dirty appearance, his second-hand clothes (including shoes obtained from garbage dumps), and his short height, Dicky simply wants a high-tech toy dog to impress the other kids at school. But with his father being too poor to afford it, Ti (Chow) scours the dumps, and finds a mysterious green ball which turns out to be an egg for a space dog. Dicky hopes the dog will help improve his rank at school.

Stephen Chow’s answer to E.T. – but without the Hallmark moments – is a fun light-hearted comedy with enough action and adventure to please even the most stoic cynics. Unlike other children’s films, CJ7 doesn’t rely on “Ugly Duckling” – like cliches in which the lead gets magical powers or becomes a success story overnight. In fact, the picture pokes fun at those ideas by having Dicky re-enact his super-powered dreams [depicted as amusing spoofs of Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer] in real life with disastrous results. No, CJ7 (the name of the alien dog) is as frail as his (her?) child owner. But the pet does aid Dicky’s family when they need it most. These moments serve to make the point that true satisfaction comes from having someone who cares about you and vice versa, not your status, or a symbol thereof. The peers of the child star come off as brats, by throwing their weight around, but they eventually learn that respect comes from cooperation and humility, not bullying.

The CG isn’t used as extensively as in most Hollywood films, but that’s why it works so well. Instead of going the Pixar route of making everything as realistic as possible, Chow opts for making the scenes as cartoonish and whimsical as possible. For example, fights and facial expressions are exaggerated and powers are expressed in minimalistic, but creative terms. [For example, instead of going the infrared route when cheating on a test, Dicky’s glasses have robotic flies which spy on other students’ papers.]

The comedy is admittedly meant for a younger crowd, but it manages to appeal to older audiences by not coming off childish. One can easily put oneself in the children’s shoes without feeling like they’ve outgrown the setting. And it’s refreshing to see kids who act like kids, not know-it-all adults.

At the sneak I caught, Stephen said he modeled his CG dog after a real dog he used to have called a Pekingese, which caused someone in the audience to hoot in response. His experience as a host of a children’s show helped prepare him for working with them on a movie. [Though it wasn’t always easy for them to stay awake on set….] Ju Xiao was one of thousands of children who auditioned for the role, and was surprised she got picked to play a boy, but seemed to adjust to the part with Stephen’s support.

The film was shot entirely in Mandarin, because Chow argued that he wanted to be fair to the child actors, since their primary language was Mandarin.

Ningen’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged |

City Hunter (1992) Review

Posted on January 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
"City Hunter" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“City Hunter” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Wong Jing
Producer: Chua Lam
Cast: Jackie Chan, Joey Wong, Leon Lai, Chingmy Yau, Richard Norton, Kumiko Goto, Gary Daniels, Ken Lo, Eric Kot, Jan Lam, Mike Abbott, Louis Roth, Carol Wan, Mike Miller, Cordelia Choi, Donna Chu, Mike Leeder, Mike Abbott
Running Time: 88/105 min.

By Dan-O

About 2 minutes into this movie, I thought to myself, out-loud, “Well OK, this is, uh, different”. I think I can state with moderate certainty that this movie (or anything resembling it) would NEVER make a profit in the US of A. This was pure corn; not even drunken Leslie Neilson with a lampshade on his head could lay down as much corn as was seen in this movie. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Yes Dan-O, I understand this, you rambling jackball, now tell me something I DON’T know, like, is that a good thing……. or a bad thing?” OK, in THIS movie, it’s a GOOD thing, in places.

See, I like anime, to a point. I just don’t think it translates over into live action very well, and if you ask anyone who knows anything about this crap, they’d probably tell you that the reason why alot of anime is so popular among most geeks today is the fact that there are certain concepts and gags that ONLY work in the whimsical realm of animation. For instance, those oversized anime hammers. In a cartoon… sure, what the hell, it works; In live action, it blows… IT AIN’T FUNNY! Only removing my own toenails with a pair of pliers would be less funny. Cartoons usually don’t make for good movies (EXCEPT for “The Addams Family”, which for those of you socially illiterate goons out there, started out as a single panel comic). The visual stuff was one step up from the 60’s Batman show, and I half-expected Adam West or Burt Almost-Got-His-Sorry-No-Talent-Ass-Kicked-All-Over-Town-By-Bruce-Lee Ward to jump out from behind a corner in their frighteningly snug fitting short-shorts.

That aside, it was a fun, bouncy little flick, although is anyone else getting tired of hearing how Jackie’s movies are supposed to be “family entertainment”. I’ve heard on several occasions about how there is (supposedly) NO unnecessary killing or death in his movies, and absolutely NO dirty jokes or sexual innuendo. PLEEEEASE. This entire movie is one big tit joke. And what’s with Richard Norton (who should regrow that beard he used to sport) plugging round after round into those poor bastards who lose at that card game? What a complete prick! How “family friendly” can ya get?!. And, although funny as bloody hell, does anyone else (who’s seen this thing already) find the homoerotic near-rape scene in poor taste. I’m mean, the guy’s wearing buttless chaps for chrissakes! Is that disturbing to anyone else out there in net-land (or whatever the hell it’s called)?

If you’re a horny red-blooded heterosexual guy like me, you’ll probably want to check out this movie simply to marvel at the ample supply of genetically blessed women showcased within. The amount of throwaway sex jokes in this flick blows my mind in more ways than one. I personally find it disgusting that Jackie’s character is trying to seduce a girl that he helped raise (ala Woody Allen), but this IS anime, or at least derived from anime, and that explains quite a bit.

To sum up: “The greatest motion picture of all time!” “An instant classic!” “It’s Die Hard in a circus tent!” “Two very enthusiastic thumbs up… WAY up!!

None of these phrases would EVER, EVER, EVER be used in the same breath as City Hunter. But if you dig The 3 Stooges, Anime, Street Fighter 2, cute women and/or breasts, and watching Jackie hit people, then this is YOUR KINDA MOVIE!

Dan-O’s Rating: 6/10

By Brmanuk

I first rented this film in 1996. I looked at “Rumble In The Bronx” and I really wanted to get it out, but because the film was rated “fifteen” my parents wouldn’t let me get it out (pathetic, I know). I had no idea who Jackie Chan was at the time but I had seen a trailer for one of his films and I was very interested. The only other Jackie film that Blockbuster Video had at the time was City Hunter. Since it was a “Twelve” and I was almost that age my parents got it out for me. I had never seen a Hong Kong film before and I thought it was a load of rubbish. Corny jokes that I didn’t get, no exit wounds when people got shot, Dubbing, It looked cheap. I hated it.

Four years later I saw Hard-Boiled and since then I’ve been addicted to Hong-Kong cinema. I had seen a few Jackie Chan movies by now, (All the American ones, about 10 of the Hong Kong ones) and I thought it was about time I saw City Hunter again, since I now appreciated Chinese movies. I read a few reviews on this film before I spent my hard earned £5 on it. The reviews I read were very mixed. From people saying that it was “the worst film ever” to people saying, “it rules!”.

Well, I bought it anyway, and I must admit I was quite pleased. It still had more corn than a Hillbillies foot, but I understood it this time! The action was quite frequent and at times funny. The girls in the film (and there’s plenty) are gorgeous. And Jackie is as funny as ever. The film is quite boring at times and the famous “Street Fighter II” scene wasn’t that impressive, but overall this flick was well worth the £5 I spent on it (except for the fact that half way through the film the tape went blank for about half a minute).

Brmanuk’s Rating: 7/10 – BTW did anyone else notice that the Clarinet tune from Hard-Boiled was playing in the posh clothes shop?

By Numskull

Numerous sources say that Jackie Chan “dismisses this movie as a lesser effort.” As well he should. City Hunter may be funny but the action is definitely sub-par. It relies more on gunplay than on fights and stunts, and it’s not like that old TV show The A-Team where nobody receives a single graze after 1700 rounds of ammunition are spent by everyone involved. People get killed in this movie, quite a few of them in fact, and not always “in the line of duty”. In an effort to make the slaughter more kid-friendly, the death is largely bloodless and people pretty much drop without any fuss. I find this rather annoying. Trust me folks, I’ve shot a few innocent bystanders in my time and I can tell you that they don’t just fall over like mannequins. They scream and bleed and thrash around on the ground and generally make things very unpleasant for those around them.

The high body count is offset by the humor. After all, if you can’t laugh at a movie where idle millionaires are executed for losing at baccarat, what CAN you laugh at? The introductory sequence, in which Jackie directly addresses the viewer(s), is great, but his doomed quest for a bit of grub later on is even better. When some guy who looks like he has Down Syndrome steps on a slice of bread, Jackie pummels him senseless. When Chingmy Yau’s bimbo cousin tries to score some J.C. action, he tries to take a bite out of one of her breasts, expecting to get a nice mouthful of tasty hamburger instead. The famous (notorious?) Street Fighter 2 parody is the real highlight, though. Jackie dresses up as a woman for what seems like the hundredth time…

The scene where J.C. beats two behemoths by mimicking Bruce Lee was clever but not terribly exciting. And the final showdown with Richard Norton is good but hardly makes up for the lack of good action for the rest of the movie.

This is a must for completists but not recommended for the casual fan. Unless you’re one of those buffoons who just watches movies for chicks. There are several of them here. It’s got “lowest common denominator” written all over it…

Numskull’s Rating: 5/10

By Ro

Wow – are people divided on this movie! More so than usual. And I have to say I’m split as well. I admit, there were times that I got a kick out of the comic book quality of the film. The Street Fighter scene was a clever addition to the overall fun, as well as the nod to Bruce Lee. I also enjoyed all the times Jackie stopped and posed to his theme song. And I have to add the drool factor of Jackie in a sleeveless tee shirt with suspenders (even if he has a jacket over it most of the time) as well as the cute – and very talented gambler guy and Gary Daniels doing the split in his jockeys! For the guys, the drool factor is the 4 gorgeous leading ladies. There were more beautiful women per square inch of this film than any other – even the extras were hot (and usually in bathing suits, guys!)

However, the comic book quality also worked against the film in my opinion. For something that was supposed to be a farce, it was incredibly violent! Sometimes that works (see Pulp Fiction, Fargo) and sometimes it jsut misses by a mile. This one misses! Richard Norton weilding a gun whose size would have Freud choking on his cigar was funny, but the way he used it wasn’t (Yes, I AM saying, “Size doesn’t matter – it’s what you do with it.”) And I apparently got a washed down version of the original. I read about a lot of tasteless jokes, especially gay bashing and there was only one gay joke in the video I had (and it was pretty funny). I think this movie could have been fun and action packed at the same time in another director’s hands, but not this director!

Also, I don’t know if it was the quality of my video (Venom Video from Advantage) or the filming, but parts of the movie were VERY red, while all the scenes in the casino were in a blue haze that was incredibly hard to see thru. And Jackie has his only really good fight (aside from the good but too short one with Gary Daniels) in the casino with Richard Norton! If this was filmed this was as part of the comic book idea – it didn’t work for me.

Ro’s Rating: 6.5/10

By Jan-Michael

I still haven’t figured out why Jackie Chan doesn’t like this film; its on my top ten list at least somewhere. City Hunter is Chan’s funniest film ever. City Hunter has non stop hilarity and action. When there isn’t any action/fighting one doesn’t notice because your laughing your butt off at one of the zany comedic character sketches. Jackie is at his absolute best putting on a show of hilarious sight gags and fight scenes. There isn’t a single serious moment in this film, and I love it. There is even a unbelieveable parody of the Street Fighter II video game! What will Chan think of next? The story to this film is unlike any Chan movie before; especially because he plays a womanizer. Chan and Gary Daniels make an excellent match and I hope they team up again real soon. Almost the entire fight looked like it was improvised! Chan vs. the two Kareem lookalikes makes Bruce Lee’s Game of Death match with Kareem just plain pathetic. And Chan vs. Norton can be analyized for an eternity just for the speed and accuracy of each of their strikes. I got to hand it to Richard Norton, I was surprised that he could ever keep up with Chan. Also, let’s not forget the rest of the supporting cast that makes this film sing – Joey Wong, Chingmy Yau, Leon Lai Ming, Kumiko Gotoh, a gay Ken Lo and let’s definately not forget Joey Wong’s cousin, who is obsessed with sleeping with Joey. I crack up at every line he has. Overall, this film is a must watch; don’t miss it. Highly recommended.

Jan-Michael’s Rating: 9/10

By Dead Channel

I really dug this movie! I must say, I had to laugh my arse clean off at many parts, hell.. even my mom was laughing!.. I like the comedy, which took over the whole movie (without a doubt). The asian “ladies” in this movie looked good as hell, there was enough action to keep me interested and it was funny. So, like it or burn it, City Hunter is the jam in my opinion. A different side of Jackie Chan, the best part being when… hah! I can’t remember! So fork it, buy/rent this bitch, and if ya don’t like it, ask for your money back and say “Dead Channel sent me, sir.” And ya might get ya assed kicked.

Dead Channel’s Rating: 9/10 (because Chingmay Yau and Joey Wong (FEMALE) never got naked)

By James

So I asked my friend: “Have you heard anything about ‘City Hunter’?” He replied: “It’s like ‘Die Hard’ on a boat with Jackie Chan.” OK, that sounded good enough to me. Well, I don’t know if it was the dubbing, the bad story, the fact that it was 12:15 am or the fact we were just blown away by “Evil Dead 2.” In my mind, and the minds of my friends, the movie was crap. The dubbing was shit, it sounded like the voice actors were going through a first reading. The end fight was so ho-hum. The only things that sticks in my mind after viewing the movie were: Jackie’s wicked-ass flip off the upper deck of the boat to the lower deck, and the hilarious “Street Fighter” parody. Below average Jackie.

James’ Rating: 5/10

By Aloho

I don’t know what happened, I just didn’t like this one. I guess there were such strict guidelines to follow by when making this movie. The comedy in this was very cheesy. Slapstick can be all right at sometimes, except for when it is not funny. It starts out with a very funny melodramatic sequence. I laughed out loud at that part. Then I admired the corny sound effects and the unrealistic falls. It is funny, but it gets old. For the next hour or something, the jokes are just lame and boring.

Onto the action stuff, I hear all this comotion about the theatre and the skateboard chase. The skateboarding thing was just plain stupid. I wait for Jackie to do all these cool moves, but he doesn’t. Finally I get what I’ve been expecting, where towards the end of the chase, he is doing all these flips over the cars and stuff. It looks extremely fake. However, if Jackie were directing it, it would have been much better. I blame it on the director.

The theatre was funny. I cannot at all consider this an action scene. My argument on this one is that it should have been more built up. Chan should have copied more moves from Lee. After we are infested with more crappy jokes, we get Jackie fighting Gary Daniels for…about a minute. Could have been longer, like I said, things could have been much longer/better if Jackie had a some say in the production. Then an extremely unrealistic, but good (I have to accept the unrealistic factor for it is based on an anime), with Richard Nortan.

Now, the Streetfighter take-off was the best. Jackie Chan as Chun-Lee and E. Honda. Very hilarious stuff. I think a scene that receives honorable mention is when Jackie fights using a woman as a prop. The film as a whole, I liked a little bit, but the majority annoyed me. I would not consider watching this again. It could be because I expected it to be a “Jackie Chan” film and it is opposite from one.

Aloho’s Rating: 5/10

By Vic Nguyen

This is quite possibly the weirdest Jackie Chan film ever made. Goofball and slapstick level’s are at an all time high, but I liked this film alot. In it Jackie plays Ryo Saeba, a horny as hell and womanizing detective that has to find a business man’s lost daughter. Ryo eventually follows the daughter onto a cruise ship where all hell breaks loose. The best sequence in this film is definetly the Street Fighter 2 parody. I was laughing so hard my brother had to come in to tell me to shut the hell up. The only complaint that I had with this film is that Jackie dresses in drag again. As much as I admire him, I can’t stand the sight of Jackie Chan as a woman. Aside from that, this movie is definetly worth checking out.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9/10

By Clint

Does anyone else think that this is the lamest and strangest movie that JC has made? Not counting the oh so popular Fantasy Mission Force. I am not critical of a JC movie if it is lame or weird, because that usually means that it will be hysterical. Guess what? This movie is hysterical. I just wish they hadn’t ruined the fight scenes with humor. I usually like my fight scenes with no humor. Like the JC/Gary Daniels fight, they play that awful music in the background, somewhat ruining it, so I just mute the television during that fight. Then the JC/Richard Norton fight, two skilled veterans of movie fighting do nothing to showcase what they are capable of doing. Enough with the disappointing fight scenes, let me move on to what this movie really has……comedy. I won’t mention the Street Fighter parody scene, because everyone and their grandmother has talked about it in these reviews. I will mention the scene where JC is passed out drunk and talking in his drunken coma, and the scene where that fat guy steps on Jackie’s bread, when he so desperately seeking out something to eat. I loved how they did that in slo-mo. The Game of Death fight scene was great, when one of the giants drag JC across the theater seats, mangling his balls. This review is already too long. So I am through.

Clint’s Rating: 8/10

By Yummyspam

Personally, I loved this movie. But that may just be my personal opinion. Though this film is most certainly enjoyable, to gain a true understanding, you must have some knowledge of the Japanese manga/anime (comic/cartoon, respectively) upon which it is based (I personally reccomend the anime). Anyway, Jackie plays a skirt-chasing, hormone-driven, self-obsessed womanizer. This is quite out of context with jackie’s usual characters. If you are familiar with Ryo Saeba, the guy Jackie plays, you will understand underneath all that he’s an Ok guy, and you will better comprehend and enjoy the flick. If you don’t know Ryo, you may find him cocky and annoying. Jackie does do all sorts of wonderful stuff in this movie, though. The Hilarious Street fighter II parody, which is a little Overrated, is still funny as heck. The gunfights are all pretty cool, and there are plenty of good stunts. Like any good HK movie, thew ending fight is spectacular. Overall, just verygood cinema that keeps you laughing in between the Oooo’s and Aahhh’s.

Yummyspam’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Tom

Well, if you have ever seen a Jackie Chan film before, you should know he is always the good guy in any of his films. This one is not out of the usual either. The movie is actually made after a famous Japanese Animation character from a few years back, if you have seen the Animation before and don’t expect Jackie to do the samething in this movie, some of the material is just too adult oriented for a PG rating. But never less, there are still lots beautiful women in short dresses to be seen though out the movie (which is good, hehe…) However, the entire entertaiment value tend to fall short on the expectation. The plot is simple and straight forward, but after the first 10 or 15 minutes into the movie, you can probably guess what will happen to the bad guy at the end. Jackie is most known for his daredevil stunts in all of his movies, but don’t expect much out of this one. Because this movie is based on an Animation, lots special effacts are used instead of real actions (they are just not humanly possible even for Jackie). Sadly, most of the special effacts in this movie seem cheesly done as well. Because the entire movie was shot in Hong kong and Japan, so it is just not even close when compare to hollywood style industrial level special effects. Well, if you just love all Jackie Chan movies, this one is ok to see. But if you have never seen Jackie Chan movies before, I suggest you rent something else (like Police story). This movie didn’t show what he is truly capable of.

Tom’s Rating: 6/10

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Gen-Y Cops | aka Gen-X Cops 2: Metal Mayhem (2000) Review

Posted on January 7, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Gen-Y Cops" Chinese DVD Cover

“Gen-Y Cops” Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Benny Chan
Cast: Edison Chen, Stephen Fung, Sam Lee, Richard Sun Kwok Ho, Paul Rudd, Maggie Q, Christy Chung, Mark Hicks, Rachel Ngan, Vincent Kok, Cheung Tat Ming, Teresa Maria Herrera, Eric Kot, Anthony Ng, Jude Poyer, Marc Redmond, Ron Smoorenburg, Anthony Wong
Running Time: 109 min.

By Brmanuk

Oh well, I guess for £2 you can’t really complain…or can you? It’s debatable I’m sure but no matter what you pay for this film nothing’s going to change the fact that it has an awful script, horrible acting, annoying characters, poor CGI effects and the looks of a poor US cop show that would probably get shown on TV at 2.00 am.

Edison Chen plays Edison (original huh?), one of the 3 Gen Y Cops who meets an old friend (Kurt) who invented a killer robot that got stolen by some bearded fella. His friend gets pissed and hypnotises Edison to hack into the robot and make it kill it’s new owners and run riot. Eventually Edison realises what he’s done and is on the run from his two annoying cop buddies. Obviously everything works out in the end, blah blah blah.

The story sounded interesting to me, but believe me the film poor. It possibly could have been quite good but it isn’t, it’s just crap. Richard Sun who plays Kurt is annoying. His constant use of phrases such as “Bro!” and “wassup main man!” along with his sub par acting make him look a joke. Edison Chen who uses the same phrases but isn’t as over the top as Sun, is equally annoying. Sam Lee (Alien) and Stephen Fung (Match) who reprise their roles from Gen X Cops (but have taken the backseat so Edison can talk out his ass) are ‘quite’ enjoyable and keep the viewer curious on what stupid things they might do next, but Alien’s overacting and annoying facial expressions become a bore after about 2 minute’s into his screen time. And don’t even get me started on the token white FBI stiff, you know the type; the ‘cool’ lead characters (or maybe I should say ‘playas’, dawg) hate him, and he hate’s them, as well as their country and their inferior technology which is in the stone age compared to American’s standards, apparently (ironically a US company did the CGI for this film, and well it’s ermm…….urgh). Oh yeah another thing, the CGI is appalling, the robots look like something out of a children’s TV ‘adventure’ show and don’t look very threatening at all, and the fight scenes seem to be played as jokes which might have worked if they were funny, but they’re not.

I must admit though, despite my comments the film did hold my attention pretty much throughout, mainly because it was so poor it was intriguing to see if it would get any better or worse. However the last few scene’s did pick up a little until the two robots confront each other and you get to see how REALLY BAD the effects are. There was the odd entertaining moment with the two idiot cops (Alien and Match) but the film was like MPM said “A fucking fashion show” and a poor one at that!

So was it worth £2? Yeah I guess so, but I’ll be selling it back to Blockbusters tomorrow.

Brmanuk’s Rating: 4/10

By Tequila

Gen-Y Cops is great for the OPPOSITE of the reasons that the original was great for. While the first was a great action-entertainment flick, it’s sequel is just as good as it’s like those hilariously bad B-movies. It’s painfully funny to hear Chinese cops and computer geeks to say “Whaz up ma dog?” or “You ma bro, man!”. Edison Chen is from Canada so he has the accent, meaning that he sounds like an unconvincing fake Canadian ghetto boy. Richard Sun is just HILARIOUS as the twisted geek trying to steal a robot he designed, although I fail to see how he would have had the time to design one if he was as doped-up as he sounds.

While the acting is pathetic to the point of comedy, the intentionally funny moments are great and it’s just as enjoyable as the first. I like the look of Maggie Q as much as I like that of Jaymee Ong too, so go out there and download the photos…er, I mean see this movie now, if you liked the first.

Tequila’s Rating: 9/10 as a fun film, 2/10 as a FILM.

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , |

Gen-X Cops (1999) Review

Posted on January 7, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Gen-X Cops" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Gen-X Cops” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Benny Chan
Cast: Nicholas Tse, Stephen Fung, Sam Lee, Jaymee Ong, Grace Yip, Eric Tsang, Toru Nakamura, Francis Ng, Daniel Wu, Moses Chan, Bradley James Allan, Vicky Chen, Jeff Kam Chun Man, Wayne Lai, Gordon Lam, Ken Lo, Alan Mak, Keiji Sato, Sin Ho Ying, Robert Sparks, Terence Yin, Chris Collins, Bey Logan, Alan Mak, Rocky Lai
Running Time: 113 min.

By James H.

“Gen-X Cops” is, without a doubt, the most American looking Hong Kong film I have ever seen. Not that that is a bad thing, it just is a fact. It is directed by Benny Chan of “Who Am I?” fame, and has style to spare. The story concerns a trio of rag-tag police rejects that are fired and re-hired to infiltrate a gang of bad guys. There is a little more to the story, but it really isn’t very important. The script throws a twist or two here and there to keep thing interesting.

The highlight of the film is not the plentiful action sequences, but the acting of one Toru Nakamura. He plays the Yakuza villain Akatura. He is, hands down, the coolest villain I have ever seen. Always dressed in black and ready to kick some ass. Nakamura plays him with this calm and composed way. Never does he give way to anything else.

The action scenes are directed with style and grace. They can give any recent American action flick a run for its money. There’s not much more one can say, except that they are exceptional. The martial arts, although not enough for my liking, was done expertly as well.

“Gen-X Cops” suffers from a somewhat cliched script. The final five minutes is, unfortunately, horribly corny and contrived, but it does leave plenty of room for a sequel.

James H’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Tequila

Although it’s by no means an excellent film, Gen-X Cops is thoroughly entertaining. It is very funny at times (Y2K giving Alien a Japanese translation) and has one of the coolest villains for a while in Akatora/Tiger, the Yakuza boss permanently in black. Francis Ng is also in this which should be recommendation enough anyway.

For what it is, a piece of entertainment, there are no better films to watch. While the plot may seem corny and the acting in some cases may be a bit poor, this is the most fun “leave your brain at the door” movie I have ever seen. It’s hard to rate in that aspect as you may not like light-hearted, fun movies and may prefer to go for the Better Tomorrow style drama and story (like I usually do). You can do a lot worse than pick this up when you have the chance though.

Tequila’s Rating: 9/10 as a slice of action-entertainment, 6/10 if you prefer a story/acting over fun

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Tetsuo: The Iron Man | aka The Ironman (1988) Review

Posted on January 7, 2011 by Z Ravas
"Tetsuo: The Iron Man" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Tetsuo: The Iron Man” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Shinya Tsukamoto
Producer: Shinya Tsukamoto
Cast: Tomoro Taguchi, Kei Fujiwara, Shinya Tsukamoto, Nobu Kanaoka, Renji Ishibashi
Running Time: 67 min.

By HKFanatic

Back in 1988, Japanese filmmaker Shinya Tsukamoto unleashed “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” upon an unsuspecting world. The movie was a seething techno-fusion of flesh, sex, and machinery that aimed to shock and disturb. It has since become a cult classic and rightfully so: despite borrowing elements from David Lynch’s “Eraserhead” and the work of David Cronenberg, “Tetsuo” is a unique vision that stands on its own and offers a viewing experience unlike any other. Anyone drawn to the darker side of cinema or just looking for something a little bit ‘out there’ should definitely sit themselves down and watch this film.

Shinya Tsukamoto’s black and white cinematography is immediately striking. He portrays the world as a mess of wires and circuitry, an industrial hell of smoke and rubble. Right away comparisons can be made to the seminal David Lynch movie “Eraserhead”. The two films are very similar in look and tone, and the Fetishist’s internal prison (it’ll make sense once you see the movie) directly recalls The Man in the Planet. However, I found “Tetsuo” to be a little easier to follow than “Eraserhead”, as well as slightly less disturbing. Whether or not this is good or bad depends upon your own personal taste. One thing that has always intrigued me about Tsukamoto is how he wears his American influences on his sleeves. Most Japanese directors don’t seem all took taken by Hollywood but Tsukamoto is a fan of filmmakers like Lynch and Sam Raimi and he isn’t afraid to show it in his work.

The premise of “Tetsuo” is relatively simple but it allows for so many interpretations. I’ll explain it briefly: a man is experimenting, trying to merge metal with his own body. He is struck by a car and some how imparts a techno-virus on the man who hit him. From here, we follow the guilt-stricken driver and his gradual descent into a techno-organic nightmare.

The visuals are out of this world as man becomes machine and machine becomes something else entirely. The film is low-budget but the effects work remarkably well. There is a homemade, physical quality to them that adds to the realism of the film. The main character’s transformation into a machine is visceral and shocking to watch. It’s difficult to find fault with this movie’s visuals, unless you absolutely loathe low-budget effects or fast motion camera work.

“Tetsuo” does lose focus during the third act, as many of Tsukamoto’s films tend to do. He has an uncanny ability to pull the viewer in during the first 2/3 of his movies, but for some reason he loses you towards the end. “Tetsuo” becomes far too ambiguous, esoteric, and convoluted to understand during the last fifteen minutes or so. Characters are screaming more than they’re speaking, wires are shooting out everywhere, and you have no idea what’s really happening; thus, it’s hard to care. Fortunately, the film redeems itself with a superb ending, especially the moment when a character utters the unforgettable line “Our love can destroy this whole fucking world.”

Much like “Eraserhead”, “Tetsuo” has a simple theme behind its bizarre happenings. While David Lynch’s film dealt with the anxieties of approaching fatherhood (among other things), at its core “Tetsuo” is about survivor’s guilt. With this in mind, the movie becomes easier to follow and more emotionally resonant. All of us have dealt with guilt at some point and “Tetsuo” shows, in graphic detail, how it can tear apart one’s life.

Over ten years later, “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” still shocks and disquiets. It’s a visually stunning, nihilistic piece of art that should not be missed. Just be warned: this is a relentless and haunting journey into a world where man and machine are one. I repeat: not for the squeamish!

By HKFanatic’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged |

Guns & Talks (2001) Review

Posted on January 7, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Guns & Talks" Korean Theatrical Poster

“Guns & Talks” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Jang Jin
Cast: Shin Hyun-Joon, Shin Ha-Gyun, Won Bin, Jung Jai-Yung, Jeong Jin-Young
Running Time: 123 min

By Equinox21

This film is a classic! Though, it took watching it twice to come to that realization. But every time I watch this one, I come to appreciate it even more. The acting is terrific, the comedy is funny, the action is spectacular, and the music is excellent!

The movie is about a foursome team of Gen-X hit men. The leader is Sang-yeon (Shin Hyeon-jun [Blue]); he gets the team their jobs and likes to take pictures of himself with the clients. The sniper/marksman is Jae-yeong (Jeong Jae-yeong [No Blood No Tears]), a man of few words; his cold, quiet delivery is super cool! The crazy one is Jung-woo (Shin Ha-kyun [J.S.A., Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance]); he just can’t seem to pull off a solo mission to kill a pregnant woman, so instead he comes up with some great excuses as to why he keeps failing. Finally, the narrator of the movie and last member of the team is Ha-yeon (Won Bin); the younger brother of Sang-yeon, he just wants his chance to actually be able to do the shooting, instead of being the support man every time. This movie was perfectly cast. The scenes of the team in their house are terrific, especially when they’re all sitting around watching the pretty newscaster Oh Young-lan on TV. They certainly aren’t the brightest bulbs in the bunch, they’re all funny in their own quirky ways and that just makes the movie even more enjoyable!

The movie is a perfect blend of comedy and action. There’s enough of each to satisfy most people, and more than enough to be thoroughly enjoyable. The action is VERY stylish, and some of the coolest I’ve seen in any movie, period. The Hamlet scene is probably in my top five coolest movie scenes of all time. None of the other action scenes could compare to this one, but were all still really cool. Between the mix of action and comedy, this movie flowed perfectly from beginning to end, and could not have worked better. The funniest elements of Guns & Talks only seem to get funnier with each viewing, as well. Just watch for the Leon reference, hilarious!

One of my favorite elements of this one was the soundtrack. The theme was extremely catchy, and was used quite appropriately in various scenes. Thanks to the music, a couple scenes feel much like an old Saturday morning cartoon. The music during the aforementioned Hamlet scene was also some of the best I’ve heard in a recent movie. It was so good that I had to go out and buy the OST, which is worth every penny!

This one is near perfect, and is easily one of my favorite Korean movies. Do yourself a favor and watch this movie. Then watch it again to fully appreciate it. It will not let you down, and will only get better the more you watch it!

Equinox21’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Joe909

More of a comedy than an action fest, Guns & Talks is a chatty, slightly-too-long “offbeat gangster” flick about a quartet of fashionable hit men. As a matter of fact, at first glance you might figure these guys would be members of a Korean N’Sync, rather than dangerous hit men. They have large, expensive wardrobes, each of them probably spent a ton on their haircuts, and they drive a nice car.

Narrated by the youngest member of the group, an annoying and effeminate Won Bin, Guns & Talks starts off with a hit, as the four work together to take out a few mob bosses. Their assassination methods aren’t of the John Woo variety, however; instead, these guys use poisonous gas and other tricks to kill their targets. Only the sniper resorts to old-fashioned shootings, and in the opening we’re treated to one of those “bullet time” effects as we follow his bullet through the parking lot and to its target.

After that, the plot kicks in, with each of the assassins (save for the sadly-underused sniper) getting his own story. There’s also a police inspector who has it in for the guys, as they murdered his prime witness in a case against a high-level thug. What follows is a multi-leveled story filled with a few comedic moments, lots of dialog, some sappy melodrama, and gorgeous cinematography.

I can’t say that it all works perfectly, though. Like most Korean movies, Guns & Talks is just too long for it’s own good. And I’ve never been one for voice-over narration. You can moan about how “dumbed down” Hollywood is until you’re blue in the face, but I still think Asian movies can even be worse. Guns & Talks is a case in point, as the prettyboy narrator feels that he must explain each and every thing to you in the most minute detail. The ending is a perfect example of this, as the hit men’s boss (Shin Hyun Jun) and the police inspector (Jeong Jin Young) have their final showdown in the local precinct. The inspector refuses to kill or arrest Jun, and any fool with a walnut-sized brain would understand why. However, the narrator spells it out for us, and it just feels cheap and unnecessary.

What keeps this from being an action extravaganza is the fact that the hit men must kill their targets in the exact method desired by their clients. For example, they must blow the left hand off of a target, and on another job they must blow a target up. So there aren’t any gun fights or elaborate action scenes in this movie, which is a shame. There aren’t even that many gadgets, even though these guys have a gadget-making, “Q”-type uncle who whips together devices for them.

The music is probably the most annoying factor in the mix. It blares over the action and dialog at any possible moment. What makes this bad is the fact that the music sounds like rejected elevator muzak. Not sure if any viewers have noticed, but the central theme of Guns & Talks is basically a rip-off of Herbie Hancock’s early ’80s hit “Rockit.” It was stuck in my head for days after I watched the film.

There are good points about the movie, though. For example, during one of the sappier moments, in which Won Bin relates to the other hit men the effects of being in love, he mistakes the other hit men’s laughter for swells of emotion. The payoff for this scene is done very well, because at first we don’t know the others are laughing, and we’re left thinking that the director’s trying to shove this maudlin dialog down our throat. There’s also a cool assassination set-up during a play, but the resolution is terrible. Before the hit, the guys worry over how they’ll escape after they do the job. Yet we never see how they actually do manage to escape.

In the end, Guns & Talks is just an okay movie. It doesn’t have enough action or suspense to thrill action fans. It isn’t consistently funny enough for the comedy fans. It doesn’t have enough drama for the drama fans. It doesn’t have enough romance for the girly-men or the ladies. Actually, it tries to embrace all of these separate genres, but doesn’t manage to gel them together into a coherent, fulfilling whole.

The movie’s a bit too sappy at parts, and the ending is saccharine beyond belief (picture this: an armed hit man walks into a police precinct, shoots a few things, and walks out without a scratch). Some of the plot threads don’t have much of a resolution (such as the surly hit man’s blooming romance with a pregnant, would-be target; the first half of the film makes you think this will be an important part of the story, but the thread is basically dropped halfway through). The comedy doesn’t always work, and the melodrama gets doled out pretty thick; but then again, this seems to be the standard for most Korean movies, and I figure those people who really like them will be expecting this.

Joe909’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Versus (2000) Review

Posted on January 6, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Versus" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Versus” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Cast: Tak Sakaguchi, Kenji Matsuda, Hideo Sakaki, Chieko Misaka, Yuichiro Arai, Minoru Matsumoto, Ryosuke Watabe, Hoshimi Asai, Yukihito Tanikado
Running Time: 120 min.

By Numskull

Hot damn! Evil Dead and Bad Taste meet in-your-face combat like only those bloodthirsty Asian film makers can do it, God bless ’em, with ample doses of anime and Matrix-style visuals thrown in to let the viewer know, without just coming out and saying it, that this movie is strictly for members of some ill-defined cinematic “in crowd” with enlistment criteria based solely on attitude; all others fuck off.

The plot is so secondary to the action that it’s scarcely worth mentioning, but it has to do with a really annoying girl (when she TALKS, anyway…just standing there, she’s quite likable) with mystical powers who reincarnates every 500 years, this evil undead wizard type guy who wants to exploit those powers, a forest where the dead come back to life, and a prison escapee who runs around kicking everybody’s ass partly because he has to but mostly just because he can. There are two homicidal prison officials, one of whom has recently (as in, VERY recently) lost a hand, tracking him down, and a gang of villains including a vaguely faggoty guy in a necktie who flicks his tongue a lot. These characters don’t have names, so that’s how you’re going to mentally refer to them; “Stumpy”, “Necktie”, etc.

The movie is really little more than a protracted chase and series of battles (with knives, with guns, with swords, and with good old fashioned fists) inside this haunted forest. There’s plenty of visual humor which viewers who are really “into it” will appreciate but which bored girlfriends of gore-hungry guys will probably miss. Nothing as obvious as a pie in the face, but the camera angles and facial expressions frequently make it quite clear that everyone involved in this movie had the time of their lives making it. When our boy swipes the long black leather coat off a dead man’s body and an electric guitar riff pops up out of nowhere, it’s like the movie is saying: “I fucking dare you to say this isn’t cool.” When our boy twirls his sword around and says “Don’t touch my girl, fuckin’ asshole!”, it’s like the movie is saying: “I fucking DOUBLE dare you to say this isn’t cool.” When our boy spits out a wad of his own blood for what seems like the hundredth time, it’s like the movie is saying: “Yeah, okay, that’s getting kind of old, but still, I fucking TRIPLE dare you to say this isn’t cool!”

The point of Versus is not to follow it but simply to WATCH it; there’s a difference. Cast aside your day-to-day troubles for two hours and revel in the carnage.

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10

By Joe909

Finally, I have seen a movie that ranks up there with “Chinese Super Ninjas.” Like that Shaw Brothers classic, Versus has everything: gun-blazing, John Woo action, samurai battles, gravity-defying kung-fu, savage and bloody action, and, instead of ninjas, zombies. And not just your everyday, garden variety zombies: the ones here know how to use the guns they were buried with (which, for some reason, are still operable).

There’s no plot in Versus. But it’s possible you might not even notice. You’ll be too busy keeping up with the action. The story is as basic as you can get: a prisoner (who is known to us only by his number: KSC2-303) is broken out of prison and brought to a remote forest, where he meets up with some yakuza thugs. These thugs proceed to inform him that they’ve been hired to break him out of prison. The yakuza also have a captive young woman, whom the male prisoner demands they release. The yakuza refuse, and so our “hero” blasts the shit out of them. Strangely, the thugs killed in this firefight come back to life. KSC2-303 and the yakuza shoot apart these zombies, and then KC takes the girl and they rush off into the forest. The yakuza follow after, and soon enough more zombies start popping out of the ground. Lots of bloody shenanigans transpire, and then the head yakuza honcho shows up: an immortal, evil wizard who needs both KC and the young woman together to carry out his schemes for world domination. Sounds stupid, but it actually works on screen.

If you see this movie, expect: lots of hard-hitting, “Matrix”-like kung-fu, ferocious gunplay, and campy gore. A lot of dark humor, too. For example, one character, a crazy policeman who’s chasing the main hero, spends the entire movie bemoaning the loss of his right hand. At one point he comes across the person who cut his hand off. “Hey,” he yells, “I want back my hand!” The person who cut the hand off, who is KSC2-303, of course, bends down and picks up a severed hand from the pile of carnage about him. He tosses it to the crazy cop. The cop tries to stick it on his stunted arm, but realizes, “Hey, this is a left hand! I need a right hand!”

Versus, a two hour-long action movie with little plot, is in need of a little editing. Word is it’s been picked up for US distribution, and edits are supposedly going to be made. I think this is a good idea, as the movie could stand to be tighter. It’s very possible that some movie-goers will get sick of the relentless action. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t like a Bruce Le movie: all fights and no story. But still, action takes precedent over plot in this film. But at least it’s great action. And at least every single one of the characters, none of whom have names mind you, are memorable and entertaining.

As of this writing (January 4, 2002), Versus is nearly impossible to find. It was produced in Japan last year, and shown in only a few international festivals. I don’t believe it was even given a wide release in Japan. So far, it hasn’t officially been released in any format. However, a DVD came out several months ago, but this dvd was in fact a bootleg. Same goes for all of the vcds you’ll come across. But no matter, get the movie in any format you can.

I’ll finish this up by saying I’ve never seen a Japanese movie I liked, and I’ve seen a lot of them. I went to school in Tokyo for a while, had a lot of Japanese friends, and rented a lot of Japanese movies. And they were all the same to me: static, plodding, and boring. Japanese movies were like the pretentious, pansy cousins of Hong Kong cinema. But now, finally, Versus ups the bar: it’s got more action than any HK movie I’ve seen in years. The actors are cool and hip without trying to be. The dialog is memorable and the film as a whole doesn’t pander. The music is straight-up rock meets techno, no Cantopop shit. It’s the most enjoyable movie I’ve seen in a long time.

Joe909’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

Branded to Kill (1967) Review

Posted on January 6, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Branded to Kill" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Branded to Kill” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Seijun Suzuki
Cast: Jo Shishido, Mari Annu, Mariko Ogawa, Koji Nambara, Isao Tamagawa, Hiroshi Minami
Running Time: 91 min.

By Milkcan

I must say I am very glad to have seen this film. Did it make me a better person? No. Did it teach me things about the cinema I never knew? Well, no. But it did, along with “Super Ninjas”, remind me of how much mindless fun movies can be. “Branded To Kill” certainly ranks near the top of the list of guilty pleasures; it’s a gangster film noir directed by Seijun Suzuki, layered with a shade of violent, perverse quirkiness. The story involves the Yakuza’s No. 3 hitman, played by Joe Shishido, who botches an assassination job and ends up on the run for his life. Suzuki took this “cookie-cutter” script (as described by the Criterion Collection DVD release), and blended it with a dark sense of style.

Several “legendary” tales surround “Branded To Kill”: Suzuki would go on to be fired for directing the film the way he did (the studio producing the movie, Nikkatsu, claimed it made no sense). He wasn’t able to direct a film for 10 years. The main star, Joe Shishido, altered the look of his face for the part by having his cheekbones raised through surgery. Yes, surgery. And there is also the story of how the filmmakers avoided trouble with censorship laws by utilizing several clever techniques during the movie’s more risque sequences. The end product of these efforts and consequences? One of the most enjoyable and cool cult classics out of Japan!

This is not a yakuza picture with characters you feel for or even cheer for: people in the film range from cold-blooded killers, sexpots, drunks, necrophiles, and those with a fetish for the smell of rice. The actors and actresses chosen to play these parts couldn’t have been better. The gangsters can stir up some laughter; their dialogue consists of conversations about the different rankings of hitmen, who is in the top 5, the mysterious No. 1 killer, and how the life a hitman leads can take it’s toll. I particularly liked how Suzuki, through the use of hallucinations, made it apparent that these killers live in a world where everything, and anyone, is of suspicion. Above all, “Branded To Kill” has style going for it. The dark lighting and the full use of the Cinemascope bring out an unusual, intoxicating, gritty atmosphere. The film’s environments consist of various places throughout the mega-city, but are given a unique twist with some bizarre imagery. Creative camera angles, up-close shots, wide-screen shots, and shadows all excentuate the violent, sexual, and gothic artistry of the scenes. Also on note are the action sequences, which play out beautifully. They’re smart, well-thought of, bone-crushing, and nicely choreographed. To top it off, the musical score suits the film perfectly; the theme song can’t be beaten and the background music is decadent, haunting, and reminiscent of a Western.

The bottom line: “Branded To Kill” is a stylish and weird pulp masterpiece that belongs on everyone’s recommended viewing list.

Milkcan’s Rating: 10/10

By Slaxor

To paraphrase a famous quote “LSD is one hell of a powerful drug”.

I love this movie. It’s not perfect, but what parts I do love about it are.

So what’s not perfect? The middle portion. It just drags on for probably about 10-15 minutes too long.

The movie can be broke down in to three sections.

1) Our star, the No.3 Killer, goes around doing jobs and offing people – like the swank motherfucker he is – in creative ways that I still haven’t seen done to this day.

2) Our star runs in to a bit of trouble and a tripped-out love story unfolds; after it’s done unfolding and perfectly is developed, it just kinda sits there and ends up a little longer then I would have liked.

3) The question is raised, ‘Who is numbah 1?’ and the journey to find out is on.

After seeing this movie with a buddy, who was the only person out of a group to survive the middle portion, we would answer the phone when either of us called each other with the line “Who is numbah 1?” everytime, for about a month or two after seeing this. If you’ve seen the movie you would fully understand this and also get a little giggle out of it.

I would follow the trend and give this a perfect ten, but I’m docking a point for the dragged out middle portion.

Slaxor’s Rating: 9/10

By Woody

Brutal eroticism, dark humour, great action scenes, beautiful B&W cinematography, one of the coolest leading men EVER, and an absolute lack of dimensions like time and space make this one of the best, yet most puzzling, films I have ever come across.

Describing the plot of this film is pointless. Any plot description would make this sound like a generic Yakuza flick. If anything, this is not a generic movie. If David Lynch, Jean-Luc Godard, and John Woo got together to collaborate on a movie, the result would be something along the lines of this bizarre masterpiece, only not as strange.

Jo Shishido stars as Hanada Goro, one of the coolest, most fucked in the head character’s I have ever come across. Hanada, the Yakuza’s “No. 3 Killer” seemingly has it all: a bizarre rice fetish, a nymphomaniac wife, a nice pad, and an easy job. Things start unravelling, though, when he takes a job from a young gothic woman, in which he has three seconds to shoot his mark. He misses and hits a woman, and a contract is put out on him. Upon returning home, Hanada is shot by his always-nude wife and left for dead, as his house burns around him. Escaping, he goes to the apartment of the gothic girl, and…describing any more would be a fulltime job. It all culminates between a greatly staged showdown between Hanada and the Yakuza’a “No. 1 Killer”. I think.

This is a dreamlike, surreal masterpiece. Dead butterflies, bizarre, well-staged action, great music, nudity, rough sex, a rice fetish, pissing down a sock into a shoe, Shishido’s collagen cheek implants, butterflies landing on rifle barrels, some more sex, a gothic chick in Japan in 1967, a dead bird handing from a car mirror, and an absolute disregard for the rules of cinema make this one of my favorite films.

This film is perhaps best known as the film that got Seijun Suzuki sacked from Nikkatsu Studios, who told him that the film “didn’t make sense” and accused him of “uncommercial and unprofitable film making”. After winning a case against them, for violation of his contract, Suzuki was blacklisted and no one would produce or show his films. Thankfully, Suzuki was able to rebound and bring us such classics as “Zigeunerweisen”, “Mirage Theater”, and “Yumeji”.

Suzuki is one of the true masters of cinema. His direction and planning is so good that the bizarre, outrageous excess of the film eventually starts to make sense, in it’s own twisted way. The action scenes, the love scenes, everything is well filmed and well edited, and shows that Suzuki wasn’t on psychotropic drugs when he made this film. No folks, this is how he intended the it to be.

All in all, if you are looking for something different, this is the film for you. It’s funny, it’s troubling, it’s strange, and will leave you with a bit of a headache, but you won’t regret it. Worth owning.

Woody’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |
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