Spiritual Kung Fu | aka Karate Bomber (1978) Review

Posted on June 9, 2011 by JJ Hatfield
"Spiritual Kung Fu" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Spiritual Kung Fu" Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Karate Ghostbuster
Director: Lo Wei
Writer: Poon Lui
Producer: Lo Wei
Cast: Jackie Chan, James Tien Chun, Mo Man Sau, Lee Tung Chun, Lee Kwan, Dean Shek Tien, Ko Keung, Lee Hoi Lung, Lee Man Tai, Wong Kwong Yue, Yuen Biao
Running Time: 91 min.

By JJ Hatfield

Spiritual Kung Fu is an odd mix of virtually no plot, infantile Lo Wei humor and some fantastic action. Whether or not the viewer will be able to tolerate what comes before the action is an unknown.

Jackie plays Ye-Lang a young man who has lived his life at the Shaolin Monastery. He is of course very naughty, lazy, the typical uncooperative however Lo Wei seemed to go out of his way to force Jackie into some of the worst comedic crap ever. Let’s see we have Ye-Lang stuffing small wildlife in his pants (frogs, eels, fish, who knows), a ton of not funny “spiritual” jokes, trying to deceive a blind Shaolin Master. I better stop there as I would just hate to spoil any giggles for anyone.

There is something of a plot and actually a couple of betrayal and twists. An ancient text “The Five Fists” or “Five Star Fists” (don’t quote me the subtitles kept changing). This is one of “those” ancient texts which contains some sort of un-defeatable form or style. Ye- Lang happens to discover this old kung fu manual and also has five spirits he forces to teach him. Last word on warnings – the five ghosts wear white leotards and tights with little white tutu’s and sport bright orange hair.

The movie will be progressing okay and then suddenly we have Ye-Lang asking if an obvious female is a girl. Oh come on. No wonder the men in movies with women running around pretending to be guys are fooled!

There are maddening moments when action is interrupted but for the most part the fighting is solid with a cameo at the very end by… Find out for yourself.

This is not a classic but definitely worth a least one viewing.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 5.5/10

By Amir

Wow, this one is really sad. The so-called ghost effects are Z rated. The fights are decent I suppose, but nothing worth having to sit through everything else in between.

Amir’s Rating: 0/10

By Master of the Stick

Well, this wasn’t a great movie by any means, but it was better than I expected. I haven’t seen many of those Lo Wei films that everybody loves to gripe about, but this one’s okay by me. The fights were a little choppy, but they were pretty solid overall. I especially liked when Jackie had to pass the tests in order to leave the temple. Nothin’ beats a good, long, stick-fight! Unfortunately, the ghosts had flaming red hair, and on my dubbed copy, the actors’ voices bugged the hell out of me. One really cool thing about this movie, though: The five animal styles that the ghosts teach Jackie are the same five that Lei Wu Long uses in Tekken 3! Almost all of Lei’s moves are taken directly from Jackie Chan films, and I love finding movies where I can pick them out. If you can get past some corny-looking ghosts, give Spiritual Kung Fu a try.

Master of the Stick’s Rating: 6/10 (7/10 if you’re a Tekken fanatic like me)

By Rintor

5 guys in white unitards with long bright red hair scare me more than some psycho wielding an axe. If I had been Jackie I wouldn’t have pissed on them, they might’ve liked that. I would have used my Drunken Praying Mantis style and kicked all their @$$es. Was it me, or were those 5 ghosts always grabbing the men in the movie. Probably, Lo “Down” Wei did direct it. With the fruity ghosts aside this movie did have some humorous parts in it. And hey, it was better than Fantasy Mission Farce. Those cheesy effects were horrible. At least this time Joseph Yana didn’t kick down my door and say this was a 12/10. (We’re only safe from him for so long.) If you want to see a cheesy Kung fu movie from the 70’s I recommend this movie.

Rintor’s Rating: 6/10

By Numskull

For a Lo Wei movie, this ain’t bad, but when somebody releases a Limited Edition Collector’s Series of Jackie’s all-time greatest movies (you know, like the inserts in TV Guide), it’s doubtful that it will be included (unless Joseph Yana is in charge of selecting the titles…”Act now and the widescreen-format edition of FANTASY MISSION FORCE is yours for just $4.95 plus $25.00 shipping & handling. Other hits, such as MASTER WITH CRACKED FINGERS and James Glickenhaus’ original director’s cut of THE PROTECTOR will follow at a rate of one video every six weeks for $19.95 each plus shipping charges. Send in your order today!”). Jackie meets up with five bimbos in makeup who are unable to speak in even a half-way intelligent manner (gee, if this movie weren’t so old, I could swear they were the Spice Girls!). The fighting is OK, but the last of it would have been better off without the Spice-mime-spirit-bitches pawing at the bad guy (I’m not sure if they’re intentionally restricting his movement of if they’re just trying to get him out of his clothes in a frenzy of animal lust brought on by his big bald head). There is little else to say about this movie so here’s where I stop (I use lot’s of parentheticals, no?).

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By Andrew

Hmmm, I thought that this film was kind of funny in a Disneyland haunted house-esque kind of way. It could have been better if the ghosts looked like something other than funky kabuki dancers. Of course the scene where Jackie urinates on them to get them out of the corner of the room made sense… actually I think that kind of defines the whole film. Oh yeah, there’s some fighting too.

Andrew’s Rating: 5/10

By Dave Bell

We were getting ready to check out our latest Jackie Chan rental, “Spiritual Kung Fu” down at Crazy Willie’s 24 Hour Bistro and Diesel Station (on South Palo Verde) when my buddy Phil chimed in. One thing you have to know about Phil is that he never talks. Ever. And if you ask him a question, his response is always the same. “I dunno.”

He’s said the same thing all his life. “Hey Phil, you want to go see a movie or go putt-putt golfing?”

“I dunno. Maybe a movie.”

“Phillip, what is the capital of Oklahoma?”

“I dunno, Ms. Thornton. $1.95?”

“Phil, do you take Louise to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I dunno. Yeah, I guess.”

Maybe that’s why his marriage lasted only six months. Anyway, Phil chimed in before anybody talked to him. “I was thinking that Jackie Chan is like Batman.” That’s the other thing about Phil. Just because he doesn’t talk much doesn’t mean that the few things he says will be profound. “I’m serious. He’s like the pinnacle of human physical perfection. He’s built himself up and can do things others can’t, like Batman. He should play a super hero in a movie.” Are you serious? “I dunno.”

Anyway we watched “Spiritual King Fu” in which Jackie carries a saw horse with some bowls of water until this guy that looks like the dude that called David Caradine ‘grasshopper’ on Kung Fu said, “Hey check out my curve ball” and whacks Jackie on the bean. Later Jackie pulls guard duty in this temple that looks just like this cool Chinese restaurant in Snowflake Michigan that we got kicked out of once because we got drunk and started to play table hockey with the egg rolls, and is broken into by a ninja guy who steals the dummies to the latest Stephen King novel.

The leader of temple is upset because he hasn’t read the book yet so he says he’s going into the basement for contemplation over his failure and to finish off that shaker amoire that he saw on the New Yankee Workshop last week. Jackie gets three days in the cooler for not defending the temple along with the other guys that got ninja whupped. So Jackie figures he has to make up for lost time in the eating department by making his disgusting frog/chicken/eel/fish stew. So he gets naked and catches the fish and stuffs the frogs and eels down his pants (amphibian love!) and makes like the Frugal Gourmet. But grasshopper guy flips out and makes Jackie write “I will not eat invertebrates” 1,000 times on the blackboard with this giant pen that Gallagher used in his act once.

Meanwhile Ninja guy reads the book and says, “This sucks worse than Christine!” and tells his son, Ninja Jr. that he has to learn 7 fist style Kung Fu and beat up the guys at Bantam Books for giving King the advance. Back at the temple, some punk rock space alien ghosts smash in and freak the place out except for Jackie who can make his chest look just like the Time Tunnel, but not before they try to pants Jackie and give him a wedgie. Jackie tells them that they are pissing him off and he proves it, literally. Then Jackie finds a Barbara Cartland book that the punk rock ghosts live in and he makes them teach him the 5 in 1 style of Kung Fu and all about being an unfaithful wife and evil twin brother.

While this is going on Ninja Jr. has been going through the WBA circuit with a record of 29-0 all by K.O. He takes the title but still needs to unify the heavyweight crown. While Ninja Jr.’s out making pay-per-view deals, the leader of the Wu Tang Clan comes to the temple and says “We’re number 16 with a bullet on the Billboard charts!” and lets Jackie show his daughter around the place. Jackie tries to sneak a kiss and gets purse fu’d by the girl. So Jackie does some Rocky-style training, slaps on some Hi Karate after shave, and gets good enough to beat the girl.

Jackie goes mental and tries to spank her but she gets all huffy and says “I’m not into S&M unless I can be the dom. Call me Mistress Wu Tang, dog!” but her father dies before the movie goes porno. Ninja Jr. has now got both the WBA and IBF titles and only needs to whack the Wu Tang guys to unify. Jackie wants to find the guy that stole the book so he tells grasshopper guy that he wants to leave the temple and search. Grasshopper guy says that first Jackie has to beat up all the monks with a pair of police batons so Jackie makes like the LAPD and Rodney King’s them all. Ninja Jr. takes on Wu Tang’s daughter for the unified title but Jackie shows up and proceeds to get his butt whipped making Ninja Jr. the heavyweight champion of the world. Wu Tang tells him he can get his championship belts at the temple because they needed to be let out. So Ninja Jr. comes along and the grasshopper guy realizes that Ninja Jr. stole the Steven King book and says “Because of you, I had to read Cujo again!”

So Jackie has a rematch with him and they Rocky-Apollo Creed all over the courtyard. But Ninja Jr.’s buddy thinks it’s the WWF and jumps in like the Undertaker without tagging, so Jackie tells him that steroids kills and shows him how. Then Jackie takes out Ninja Jr. with the 5 in 1 style. Then, in a surprise move, it turns out that Ninja Sr. is a monk in disguise and says this whole vow of chastity thing blows and starts to kick Jackie butt. But the punk rock space alien ghosts show up and they help Jackie play Ina Godda Divida on Ninja Sr.’s chest and Jackie is the new unified heavyweight champion of the world, or at least the temple.

I liked this movie. Somebody finally figured out that less is more and there wasn’t a whole lot of Kung Fu. that made the fight scenes really memorable and showed how difficult they really were. There was some story and I almost lost it with the punk rock space alien ghosts, but the whizzing scene kept me in. Plus Jackie had at least one fart scene. You just can’t go wrong with zany bodily function fu. And Phil? “I dunno.”

Dave Bell’s Rating: 7/10

By Dusty

This movie was cool. I disagree that this is your average Kung Fu flick, because there are ghosts! The ghostly effects are really bad, but that just adds to the overall charm of this movie. Jackie learns some cool things in here like the Tiger Claw, and 4 others that I can’t remember offhand… maybe a crane. Probably a snake, too. And they make sounds for all of the styles of Kung Fu. It’s cool. The ghosts themselves don’t really look like ghosts at all. Rather just people with flour all over them. Still a good movie.

Dusty’s Rating: 8/10

By Stuart Gallagher

A typical early Jackie movie, concentrating on the Shoalin Temple and different fighting styles. It has lots of solid Kung Fu for the lovers of the sport, but not so many stunts and wacky humour of the more recent Jackie movies. Look for the great simularity to Shaolin Wodden Men: Same setting, actors, caves and dungens and even has a great chunk of footage that is identical (of Jackie catching his dinner). Not as good as many of his later movies.

Stuart Gallagher’s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1978) Review

Posted on June 9, 2011 by JJ Hatfield
"Half a Loaf of Kung Fu" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Half a Loaf of Kung Fu” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chan Chi Hwa
Cast: Jackie Chan, James Tien Chun, Doris Lung Chung Erh, Gam Ching Lan, Kam Kong, Lee Hoi Lung, Miu Tin, Dean Shek Tien, Julie Lee Chi Lun, Che Dei
Running Time: 92 min.

By Stockton22

And so the debate rages on. Is this movie a flawed but entertaining transition film, or a completely forgettable mess? Well, I have to say that with a starting point of low expectations, I enjoyed this one, but it’s clearly the work of someone who’s still honing his craft. Well, we all have to start somewhere. This Lo Wei production is actually the first time he let Jackie have creative control over a film project. In fact, Lo thought so highly of Jackie’s artistic vision that he refused to release the film (until Jackie became a star a few years later of course). And it really wasn’t too much of a loss. Much of the attempts at humor are quite feeble, revolving around guys who stutter, twitch, pass gas and all the other sophisticated stuff you’d see in a “USA Up All Night movie” (xcept without nude scenes that need to be cut out which rob those flicks of their only purpose).

As with much of the period, the funniest bits are the ones that aren’t supposed to be funny. Why does it take the thieves in the restaurant about half a day to figure out that Jackie robbed them, when he patted them down minutes before they realized their money was gone? Well, presumably, the thief used the same powers of deduction figuring out that one as he did when he chose to wear the gold lamé cape (unless he was planing to make a stop at Studio 54 afterwards). Well, I could be exaggerating about the time frame. After all, time passes very quickly in the land of Half a Loaf. Anyone else notice that when Jackie first sees the real Whip Hero, it’s nighttime, then they’re in daylight a minute later?

Anytime a film has the same production values as Plan 9 from Outer Space, it’s time to throw in another buck or two. But my favorite line is from the bad guy who was pretending to be good until his cover’s blown. “From now on, I’m gonna act like my real self.” I couldn’t tell if he needed a better script writer or a psychiatrist. What the movie has going for it, is with Jackie himself directing the fighting, their actually is some very entertaining action. True, the biggest drawback is that since Jackie plays a guy who doesn’t really know how to fight, guess what? Jackie doesn’t fight much in the movie! But Jackie give the rest of the cast plenty of jammin’ to do, and they do it well. They even had that guy who played meanie-jerkoff-can’t-do-so-he-teaches-dude-who-hates-Jackie from Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow and Drunken Master.

He can really fight! And it was cool to see him play a nice guy for a change (even though it was actually before those other ones). Still, Jackie learns to fight in time for the big finale, and it’s actually one of the better group rumbles that I’ve seen in a 70’s chopsocky flick. It includes everything from fighting babes, wigs used like nunchucks (that’s right, you gotta see that), and a pretty neat sequence where Jackie has to learn techniques on the spot from pages from an instruction book scattered on the ground during the big one on one showdown. But my biggest question about that one is, the rest of the enemies are gone, and all the good guys just stand and watch while the guy who couldn’t even fight half an hour ago (Like in Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow, Jackie learns fast) fights for his life against an evil master. Hello! A little help please!

Just one last question. The bum who teaches Jackie various styles makes me wonder, in these old chopsocky flicks, why are all the good kung fu masters beggars? They got some pretty talented vagabonds over in that country. Well, I guess kung fu mastery wasn’t a growth industry. No union, no job security, no comprehensive dental plan. Good thing the bums here in New York City aren’t like that, they’d probably get a little more insistent when they’re holding those ATM machine doors. On the other hand, with one of those guys on every corner you’d really see crime drop. Or not, people don’t really fight in the city (’cause people have guns here).

Stockton22’s Rating: 5/10

By JJ Hatfield

It has been said by a few sources that this movie was the beginning of Jackie Chan’s “comedy”. Well, if that much is true, thank goodness it was the beginning and he did improve! The director, Chan Chi Hwa allowed (or the Lo Wei company was passed out somewhere) Jackie to get some pay-back time on screen. The writer, Tang Ming Chi, didn’t seem to know what to so with this story, except insert bad jokes.

The movie begins with the well known black screen with Jackie mocking as many kung fu movies as possible. Shaolin and the monks… Jackie chopping wood… oh just about anything ever done including learning kung fu from a beggar and a book.

The title might have been better as Half a Load Of Kung Fu.

Unfortunately I just didn’t find it amusing. I’m sure Jackie was tired of making such films but why would he think we need one more? There is a bit more to the bare bones plot including Jackie still learning kung fu while taking on an escort assignment.

Some people enjoy this movie, and that’s good: someone likes this movie.

As for this reviewer, especially watching it again, I just did not find much to entertain.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 2/10

By Tyler

A very hammey and comedic film, and it’s from Lo Wei. I couldn’t believe Lo Wei would allow Jackie to do a comedic film, I thought Lo Wei was hung-up on “the next Bruce Lee crap.” I guess Lo Wei finally gave in, and let Jackie do his own thing. Well I bought this film from Simitar digitally remastered, and it also had an exclusive interview with Chan after the movie. I give Simitar a big plus for the remastering. Well, enough bragging on Simitar, the movie is basically a corny cheese ride through ancient China, yet a lot of fun. I laughed at the popeye scene when Jackie is dreaming. Down below I listed some of the highlights of Half a Loaf of Kung Fu.

  • One wig nunchucks
  • Egg throwing Kung Fu
  • Bird flying Jackie
  • Popeye Kung Fu
  • Whip Wielding guy
  • Pink hair guy
  • Farting beggar
  • Jackie Urinating
  • Bird sounds
  • Mop Top hair cuts
  • Fat gut bending bar
  • Mustache ripping

Tyler’s Rating: 7/10

By James H.

Somewhere I heard, or someone told me that this was Jackie’s first hit film. While being one of the best Lo Wei productions, it’s still a really bad movie. Maybe it was the dubbing (isn’t dubbing always the scapegoat? Well I guess subtitles can be too), but I didn’t really enjoy this movie. Although, it did have its moments. Unfortunately, those moments were at the beginning and at the end (go figure). Don’t get me wrong, it was a good attempt to mix action and comedy, but it just didn’t really work out. I thought that it was trying to be more of a comedy than a kung fu flick. But really, you can’t expect much from a movie called “Half a Loaf of Kung Fu?” And in my opinion, that’s what you get.

James H’s Rating: 5/10

By Marcia

The first time I saw this, having had a friend recommend it highly, all I could think was, “God, this is stupid!” By my next viewing, however, I’d seen many more of Jackie’s films and the sheer satire of it all had me rolling on the floor (of course, I did also have a couple beers in me…). Since one of the things which has always appealed to me most about Jackie’s early films is the training sequences, my absolute favorite part of Half a Loaf is when he’s going through his practice session and stops to go check out his notes before continuing. The entire film is non-stop self-mockery of the whole kung fu genre. Approach it as a film making fun of films, and you’ll love it.

Marcia’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Aliens vs. Avatars DVD (Tempe Video)

Posted on June 9, 2011 by JJ Bona
Aliens vs. Avatars DVD (Tempe Video)

Aliens vs. Avatars DVD (Tempe Video)

RELEASE DATE: September 20, 2011

LOL! Okay, I just had to share this one. It’s an obvious mix of Aliens, Avatar and even Predator; of course with an extremely low budget twist. Even has the mechs. =D

Dare to check out the trailer here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Marlowe (Bruce Lee) DVD (Warner)

Posted on June 9, 2011 by JJ Bona
Marlowe (Bruce Lee) DVD (Warner)

Marlowe (Bruce Lee) DVD (Warner)

RELEASE DATE: June 10, 2011

Remastered for the first time! Five-hundred bucks doesn’t come easily for private eye Philip Marlowe (James Garner). But when it comes by way of a bribe, it might as well be five cents. He rejects Winslow Wong (Bruce Lee) and his offer of cash…and Wong promptly karates the detective’s office into a junkpile… check out the trailer!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Limitless Blu-ray/DVD (Fox)

Posted on June 8, 2011 by JJ Bona
Limitless Blu-ray/DVD (Fox)

Limitless Blu-ray/DVD (Fox)

RELEASE DATE: July 19, 2011

One of the best films to come out of Hollywood! Yet 80% of America will skip it and watch “The Hangover 2” six times. Figures. Check out the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Crazy Shaolin Disciples | aka Enter the 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1985) Review

Posted on June 6, 2011 by JJ Hatfield
"Crazy Shaolin Disciples" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Crazy Shaolin Disciples” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Yau Fung Hung
Cast: Wong Yu, Chin Siu Ho, Gordon Liu Chia Hui, Lo Meng, Lo Lieh, May Cheung Choi Mei, Chun Wong, Philip Kwok Chung Fung, Yuen Qiu, Lee Hoi San
Running Time: 87 min.

By JJ Hatfield

I would prefer to primarily review only good films. However there are times a viewer warning should be advised when movies pretend to be something they are not. This is one of those movies.

Though marketed as yet another great Shaw movie and starring (Gordon) Lui Chia Hui, this is infantile, downright terrible and does not deserve to bear the name of Shaolin!

The plot, such as it is has an evil Manchu officer (Lo Lieh) bringing violence and carnage to a small village. Three rebels Hu Huei Chian (Chin Siu Ho), Hong Si Kuan (Lo Meng) and Fong Sai Yuk (wth?) played by Wong Yu. After the battle is over the three rebels beg for refuge and sanctuary at the Shaolin Temple. Somehow the three manage to become beginning members of Shaolin.

For most of the movie the Northern monks in training and the Southern secular disciples spend a great deal of time playing “jokes” upon each other. They are not funny. Perhaps if you are about 11 years old and find things like shit, snot, piss, etc. funny you might laugh once or twice. The new guys don’t like the mandated rules or the strict practice. These guys aren’t crazy they are brats who needed to spend more time with mommy and daddy or getting beat the crap out of by the Manchu soldiers.

Finally Gordon Liu Chia Hui as Wu Qing, (No not San Te) as a young monk gets into a scuffle or two with the three new guys. Then to add more excitement and humor (oh goody, just what this shit needs) Fong Sai Yuk releases an insane monk(Chun Wong) who causes all sorts of trouble and apparently is designed to add even more frickin’ humor.

Don’t blame this one on Lau Kar Leung! Yau Fung Hung was the director and I cannot even confirm who wrote the story, maybe a guy listed under Planning? I am not searching any more. I wouldn’t want to have my name attached to this dreck!

There is action and fighting that almost sometimes give the viewer hope they are not wasting their time completely. But then they inject some of the absolute worst ever “humor” spit out by the Shaws. Oh and some totally ludicrous wire fu that is not exciting or amusing. To add some interest Lo Lieh is still hanging around as the evil Manchu and of course wants revenge no matter how many people he has to kill!

Nothing is good enough to save this movie. There are over a hundred “Shaw Brothers” films and most of them are much better than this!

Recommendation: Don’t waste time and money on this!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 2/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Blood Trilogy, The: Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs/Color Me Blood Red Blu-ray (Image)

Posted on June 6, 2011 by JJ Bona
Blood Trilogy, The: Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs/Color Me Blood Red Blu-ray (Image)

Blood Trilogy, The: Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs/Color Me Blood Red Blu-ray (Image)

First time on Blu-ray! Herschell Gordon Lewis’ pioneering “gore” films in deluxe Special Editions. “Blood Feast” (1963, 67 min.) – Mrs. Fremont hires crackpot Egyptian cultist Fuad Ramses to cater a party–and he prepares a Blood Feast made from the grisly body parts of nubile young women. The world’s first gore film! “Two Thousand Maniacs” (1964, 87 min.) – The 2000 Maniacs of a small Southern town celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Civil War by forcing a handful of Northerners to serve as “guests” in their macabre, blood-crazed fun and games. “Color Me Blood Red” (1965, 79 min.) – When his girlfriend, Gigi, cuts her finger on a frame, maniacal artist Adam Sorg discovers a new shade of crimson that will make his artwork so special–human blood!

Trailers: Blood Feast | Two Thousand Maniacs | Color Me Blood Red

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

The Hills Have Eyes Blu-ray (Image)

Posted on June 6, 2011 by JJ Bona
The Hills Have Eyes Blu-ray (Image)

The Hills Have Eyes Blu-ray (Image)

RELEASE DATE: September 6, 2011

First time on Blu-ray! The Hills Have Eyes, a 1977 cult horror film directed by Wes Craven. It is about a family on a road trip who become stranded in the Nevada desert, and are hunted by a clan of deformed cannibals in the surrounding hills. Check out the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Dangerous Babes – 12 Movie DVD Collection (Mill Creek)

Posted on June 6, 2011 by JJ Bona
Dangerous Babes - 12 Movie DVD Collection (Mill Creek)

Dangerous Babes - 12 Movie DVD Collection (Mill Creek)

RELEASE DATE: July 19, 2011

Announcing a dozen more cult favorites and hard-to-find cinematic classics culminated for this truly unique set of flicks from the incomparable Crown International Pictures. These 12 locked and loaded movies will have you convinced never mess with a Dangerous Babe! With an explosive mix of chemistry, intrigue and danger these 12 sizzling action-adventures will have you addicted from the start Extremely rare and hard-to-find films including two movies making their DVD debut.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Dead Heat Blu-ray (Image)

Posted on June 5, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Dead Heat" Theatrical Poster

"Dead Heat" Theatrical Poster

RELEASE DATE: September 20, 2011

Dead Heat is a 1988 cult movie about an LAPD police officer, Roger Mortis (Treat Williams), killed while attempting to arrest zombies who have been reanimated by the head of Dante Laboratories in order to carry out violent armed robberies. Also starring Joe Piscopo. Check out the trailer here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Musa | aka Musa the Warrior (2001) Review

Posted on June 4, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Musa" Korean Theatrical Poster

“Musa” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Kim Sung-su
Writer: Kim Sung-su
Cast: Ju Jin-mo, Jung Woo-sung, Ahn Sung-kee, Zhang Ziyi, Park Yong-woo, Park Jeong-hak, Yu Hye-jin, Jeung Seok-yong, Lee Du-il, Han Yeong-mok, Yu Rong Guang
Running Time: 158 min.

By Alexander

Ignoring Public Enemy’s pleas to not believe the hype, I prowled misspelled listings of all-region Musa DVDs on eBay until I found a dealer who wasn’t charging $40+ for a cheaply pressed bootleg solely so I could see firsthand what all the fuss was about. I’ve fallen trap to the Hype Machine before, standing in line for hours to catch an early screening of Phantom Menace (and God, how it sucked) and begging and pleading my parents for an elusive (at the time, anyway) brown-haired Cabbage Patch Kid when those adorable dolls sent Soccer Moms into murderous frenzies at K-Mart. So it was with trepidation that I dropped a cool $15 (what a bargain!) on an “original” Musa DVD.

So I get the DVD after a few weeks (!), eager to see whether or not Musa was indeed even remotely as good as Numskull said it was. I ripped open the padded envelope with gusto and pulled out the plastic boxes and read, aghast, the following: “Musa: Best Vedio Foever! Speiel Featurs!”

Okay, so it wasn’t the real deal and I probably lined the pockets of a two-bit criminal enterprise of poor spellers specializing in basement pressed bootlegs of hit Korean films. Whatever. What mattered most was that the disc worked. Wide screen. Crisp picture. Great sound.

Best $15 I’ve ever spent.

Of the 750 plus films I’ve watched in my lifetime, few have brought me more pleasure than this mesmerizing movie. It’s easily one of the best and most moving films I’ve ever seen, ranking amongst personal favorites Schindler’s List, Braveheart, Last of the Mohicans, Platoon, Three Kings, The Killer and Pulp Fiction. Musa is THAT good.

I knew I was watching one of the best film’s I’ve seen about thirty minutes into Musa. When Ahn Sung-kee’s character, the archer Daejung, heroically dashes full speed down a barren hill towards a legion of enemies with only a bow and a notched arrow, I felt chills snake down my spine. (The last time I was so moved by a scene was during the frenetic opening minutes of Spielberg’s masterpiece Saving Private Ryan). Many similarly moving and majestically filmed scenes follow (including a rousing finale that left me — honest to God– on the verge of tears).

Sure, the whole rag-tag-band-of-highly-skilled-warriors-versus-a-mammoth-army has been done countless times before, but never in such an emotionally charged, beautifully filmed, superbly choreographed and convincingly acted way. Everything WORKS here, from the cast (Zhang Ziyi stands out as Princess Buyoung), to the battle sequences (as HUGE and deftly filmed as anything in the highly touted Gladiator), to the cinematography, to the music, to the engaging plot. Musa is, simply, the best movie ever produced on the Asian continent.

(NOTE: Bootlegs are BAD! Very, very BAD! May copywrite infringers burn in hell ‘foever’!)

Alexander’s Rating: 10/10

By Numskull

An “epic” is typically defined as a long narrative describing heroic deeds and taking place over an extended period of time. This being the case, many films which have been described as “epic” AREN’T epic; they’re merely long. Due to the time constraints imposed by the medium of popular cinema, the meaning of the word can be tinkered with and applied to films which present an ambitious story in grandiose fashion, regardless of just how many or how few heroic deeds (if any) they entail and of the amount of time in which they take place, within the confines of their own little universes. With that definition, “epic” (be it noun or adjective) will be implemented henceforth and can most definitely be used in reference to the lengthy Korean adventure, Musa.

The reason I bring the connotations of the word “epic” into debate is that Musa’s storyline, while encompassing more characters and situations than it would indicate at first, is quite simple. A band of Korean envoys and soldiers from two separate factions…Yongho and Joojin…meets a hostile reception in China and, thanks to the capricious hand of Lady Luck, is thrown into a dire situation requiring them to flee to their homeland of Koryo (what westerners would refer to as Korea). Two warring Chinese forces, the Yuan and the Ming, involve our hapless protagonists in their power struggle even more deeply when Buyoung, the abducted Ming princess, falls into their hands. Strangers in a strange land, the travelers from Koryo must face bloodthirsty foes, the merciless whims of Mother Nature, and a very difficult decision…whether to proceed with their plan to try and escape China or to assist Princess Buyoung in an attempt to find an easier way out of this mess…while struggling with heated disagreements and clashes of personality and philosophy within their own ranks.

Chief among the Korean characters are General Choi Jung (Jun Jin-mo), decision-maker in all matters of conflict and survival; Daejung (Ahn Sung-kee), a highly skilled archer and trusted advisor who served under Choi Jung’s father; and Yeesol (Jung Woo-sung), a long-time servant of the vice-ambassador with which the group travels. Princess Buyoung is deftly played by Zhang Ziyi, who exhibits a good mix of the solemn nobility which should rightfully be intrinsic to her character and the pampered bitchiness that made her so despicable (yet so damned attractive at the same time) in her breakout film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Noteworthy among the supporting cast are Park Yong-woo as Park Jumyung, a cowardly interpreter; Lee Du-il as Jisan, a Buddhist monk who joins our unfortunate group simply because it’s the right thing to do; and Yu Rong Guang (best known for the title role in 1993’s Iron Monkey) as the Mongol General Rambulhua, a principled but very formidable antagonist.

Surpassing the budget record set by another Korean swordplay epic, Bichunmoo (“Dance with Sword”), the production of Musa was clearly a colossal undertaking. It features dialogue in both Korean and Mandarin (with Zhang Ziyi once again being a native speaker surrounded by actors who were required to study the language for their roles in the film), and its mammoth cast and crew covered 10,000 kilometers of territory (mostly in the inhospitable desert regions of China). Five years of planning, five months of shooting, and a budget of eight million bucks (had this been a Hollywood production, it probably would’ve cost ten times as much and ended up looking about half as good). The combat is shockingly realistic. Fanciness has no place here amid all the screams of agony and severed limbs. The cameras seem to have a special fondness for shots of arrows piercing peoples’ necks. Yet all of this is done with class; this film is not merely concerned with seeing how much bloodshed it can get away with. At the same time, the battle sequences can pack an emotional wallop. I can recall few cinematic moments more rousing than the scene in which Jisan, after two hours (our time) of vow-induced pacifism, explodes into action and starts smashing everyone in sight with a huge wooden support beam to defend a group of helpless peasants.

As time grows short, tempers run high, and the final showdown draws near, the popular Hong Kong theme of redemption rears its head in connection with three characters in particular: Choi Jung, Buyoung, and Park Jumyung. At first, it seemed to me that Choi Jung was something of a flawed character; not “flawed” in the tragic/Shakespearean sense, but “flawed” as in, somebody screwed up when they wrote this guy. His impulsiveness and disregard for the welfare of his troops is so pronounced that one seriously wonders how he ever achieved the rank of General in the first place. However, these issues are addressed in due time, and he eventually comes to be seen in a different light. Princess Buyoung fits into preconceived “princess” stereotype slots quite comfortably at first, and just when you start to think she’s the most useless character in the history of motion pictures and that the Koryo troops should have dumped her royal ass in the middle of nowhere the very moment they met her, she goes and does something incredibly noble (or at least tries to). As for Jumyung, well, what can I say…once a wuss, always a wuss.

The most outstanding character of all, though, is Yeesol (sometimes called Yesol, sometimes called Yeosol…damn subtitles). I friggin’ WORSHIP this guy. He reminds me of Mani (Mark Dacascos) from Brotherhood of the Wolf. Despite living on the lowest rung of the social ladder, he takes shit from no one, I repeat, NO ONE. Look at him cross-eyed and he’ll cut your fucking head off. Although this is a very prestigious sort of film, actor Jung Woo-sung brings an undeniably welcome and even more undeniably cool no-nonsense action hero/lone gunman “badass-ness” to the role, and he manages to do it without letting you forget about the humble position of his character in the grand scheme of things. Though a slave at first, his actions reveal that he is perhaps the most noble character of all.

As of this writing, Musa’s only DVD incarnation is a Region 3 double disc set that includes an 80-page hardcover book featuring a production diary, cast information, and a “DVD Column”…all in Korean. There are also lots of color photos and a small number of technical drawings. The second disc is loaded with not one, not two, but THREE hours of extra features; alas, the production notes and interviews (TONS of those) lack English subtitles, so the only bonus materials of any appreciable value to most Western viewers are the costume design illustrations (from the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon folks, by the way) and a four-minute outtake segment. However, if you’re able to play Region 3 DVDs, it’s still worth the price of admission. I’m tempted to say that anyone with a passion for epic films, swordplay, and/or a combination of both should invest in an all-region DVD player for the SOLE PURPOSE of watching this film, but…let’s not go nuts. If Miramax acquires the rights to it, THEN let’s go nuts. This film can and most likely WILL leave a mark on Western audiences, whether it is presented whole and untainted or not. It’s just too good NOT to. Its only flaws are occasional herky-jerky moments in the battle scenes (due, if I am not mistaken, not to undercranking but to the insertion of CGI effects), some questionable stunts involving horses (I’m sure the animal rights groups would raise their eyebrows, and rightly so), a final scene that is a bit too rushed and upbeat, and the fact that there are one too many shots of Zhang Ziyi shedding a single tear. That’s understandable, though; the film is so damn good, passionate fans of epic cinema might just weep at its sheer magnificence.

Jam-packed with memorable scenes and performances, Musa represents an overall level of quality on all fronts…dramatic and kinetic, aural and visual…that few contemporary films can hope to match. If you are at all interested in epic movies…old or new, Asian or otherwise…Braveheart, Spartacus, Bichunmoo, you name it…then Musa carries one of the highest recommendations possible.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Touch of Zen, A (1971) Review

Posted on June 4, 2011 by JJ Hatfield
"A Touch of Zen" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“A Touch of Zen” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: King Hu
Writer: King Hu
Cast: Hsu Feng, Shih Chun, Pai Ying, Tin Peng, Roy Chiao Hung, Sit Hon, Cho Kin, Go Ming, Miu Tin, Melvin Cheung Wan Man, Liu Chu, Cheung Bing Yuk
Running Time: 180 min.

By JJ Hatfield

A Touch of Zen (Xia nu) is an amazing film. Generally overlooked as just another “chop socky” movie most of the western world has never seen this piece of perfection and that’s a shame. Hopefully after reading this review you will be motivated to watch this film of great importance to the world of cinema.

Do not expect a wild kung fu spree, training, revenge, the usual plot, for this film is very unusual. Though there is most impressive fighting the story builds quite awhile before the first blow is struck. There is no denying this is a very complex plot with layers upon layers and sometimes you see a character who is really who they seem to be. Or are they?

The film is really three different possibilities or realities based upon the same characters. However how those characters interact and inter – relate changes. This film was made before those involved were looking at how foreign box offices would respond. This is a Chinese film.

I’m not going to delve into the character development or even the story. Watch the film and you will understand.

King Hu directed and co wrote (Songling Pu is credited with the story) this fantastic film. Xia nu, the film’s original title is a masterpiece in every way! This film is definitely required for anyone who enjoys foreign, period piece experiences. I take that back. Everyone who has enjoyed movies of any kind should see this fabulous film! It takes time to develop but it is never boring. For a film with a run time of over three hours it is intensely mesmerizing. There are damn few movies that can hold the viewers attention and entertain at the same time. Xia nu does not fail.

Everything has been carefully staged to put you into the film. The cinematography is gorgeous with nature scenes that seem possible only in a different world. So much care has been paid to details the story is very much relevant symbolically and in a whispered way it could he considered to compare with human life, with life itself.

The beautiful backdrops of some of the most gorgeous spots in the country are breathtaking! The use of light and shadow is far beyond what most movies accomplish today! Sunshine is fairly easy to film and often gorgeous but there are other visuals that will pleasingly startle and surprise.

I have a great deal of respect for King Hu and everyone associated with this film!

One reason the film is never boring is because it has many different emotions in focus. There are light hearted times with easy smiles, amusing little scenes, moments of stillness that defies written description. The characters are very real, in every context with human issues and feelings both with love and loyalty, treason and hate.

But what of the martials arts? Ahhh, do not worry. The “action” builds slowly at first, then more and more martial artists are involved until you are watching one of the finest martial arts films made. I do not exagerate. The fighters sometimes do look more like “artists” but that doesn’t hinder their ability to satisfy any martial arts fan. The sheer number increasingly involved is genius! It gives you the time to actually enjoy this feast! The action is real, no super slo-mo, or long blurry generic battle scenes. They didn’t need to add crappy effects because the movie itself is made the way it was meant to be. The fights were filmed exactly as they needed to be allowing the viewer to see some of the “art” in the martial arts. This is not swingy armed fake crap. It is all exciting and many times turns deadly.

For those who wish to take the time to explore this film there is a very spiritual angle involved. Not only does this film present phenomenal story, development and excellent action it also leaves the viewer with something to think about.

Whatever your motivation find this film and buy it if you can because you will be watching this magnificent film time and time again!

* This review is from two old VHS tapes with a running time clocked at 3 hours. All of the tapes were used. There is a newer remaster? but I don’t know how the films compare time wise.

* If you are hunting down Jack Chan or Sammo Hung you won’t see them. They are both credited as stuntmen, but were only in their late teens when this was shot.

This is a fabulous fantastic film you don’t want to miss!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Witchmaker: Legend of Witch Hollow DVD (Navarre)

Posted on June 4, 2011 by JJ Bona
Witchmaker: Legend of Witch Hollow DVD (Navarre)

Witchmaker: Legend of Witch Hollow DVD (Navarre)

RELEASE DATE: July 5, 2011

Witchcraft is a 1969 film directed by the almighty master, William Brown. A psychic researcher and his assistants investigate a series of murders of beautiful young women. Check out the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

God’s Bloody Acre/Tomcats DVD (Navarre)

Posted on June 4, 2011 by JJ Bona
God's Bloody Acre/Tomcats DVD (Navarre)

God's Bloody Acre/Tomcats DVD (Navarre)

RELEASE DATE: July 12, 2011

When a group of developers threaten the land of three rural brothers, the boys resort to murder to defend their property. However, when the trio starts preying on innocent tourists, things quickly get out of hand. A 70’s Hicksploitation classic! Also includes Tomcats!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Cut-Throats Nine/Joshua aka Joshua the Black Rider DVD (Navarre)

Posted on June 4, 2011 by JJ Bona
Cut-Throats Nine/Joshua aka Joshua the Black Rider DVD (Navarre)

Cut-Throats Nine/Joshua aka Joshua the Black Rider DVD (Navarre)

RELEASE DATE: August 16, 2011

Cut-Throats Nine: A film acclaimed by critics is the most violent motion picture ever portrayed on the screen. Watch the trailer, if you dare. Also contains Joshua, the story of a black soldier (Fred Williamson) who returns from fighting for the Union in the Civil War only to find out that his mother has been murdered by a gang of white thugs.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |
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