Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)
RELEASE DATE: September 20, 2011
“TAJOMARU is the famous ‘bandit’ of the forest from RASHOMON. Whoever kills Tajomaru inherits his name, status and sword. A royal brother leaves his kingdom to protect the princess he loves, only to find a series of harrowing adventures along the way which lead him back to where he came from, and then disinheriting his past to become the bandit TAJOMARU.” Check out the trailer here.
“Mr. Vampire” Chinese Theatrical Poster
Director: Ricky Lau
Producer: Sammo Hung
Cast: Lam Ching-Ying, Chin Siu Ho, Ricky Hui, Moon Lee, Pauline Wong, Yuen Wah, Billy Lau, Choi Fung-Li, Wu Ma, Yuen Wah, Anthony Chan
Running Time: 98 min.
By Numskull
I sat down to watch Mr. Vampire at least half-expecting to see a Chinese Night of the Living Dead acid-trip shitfest, and to say that I was pleasantly surprised would be a big understatement. This isn’t some cheap-ass nonsense shot on less money than it takes to buy a blow job in a red light district. It’s a highly amusing romp with style, charm, and entertainment value coming out the wazoo.
Ethnocentric Westerners, don’t let the title “Mr. Vampire” fool you…you won’t find anyone even remotely resembling Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Anne Rice’s Lestat or even Brian Lumley’s Faethor Ferenczy anywhere in this film. The title (presumably) refers to Lam Ching-Ying’s character Kou, a courageous wise man who specializes in keeping the living safe from the restless dead. At times, though, mere knowledge and bravery just aren’t enough…you need some extra hands to get the job done. That’s why the intrepid Kou has a pair of assistants named Chou and Man Chor.
Their mission, should they choose to accept it (and, by the way, they do) is to protect young Ting Ting and her dad from the undead menace of Grandpa Yam. Business as usual except for Ting Ting’s meddling cousin Wai, the world’s most spectacularly incompetent cop, who makes life (and death) more difficult for everyone involved by virtue of his very presence. His biggest concern is that one of Kou’s wards will get to marry (or at least bone) cousin Ting Ting before he will.
Speaking of boning, there’s a very nifty sub-plot in which Chou is bewitched by a female ghost and is “forced” to bone her until he can bone no more. She then seizes control of his mind and attempts to make him her slave (isn’t that just like a woman?). Meanwhile, Kou’s other assistant Man Chor has a problem of his own. He has contracted the vampire disease (for lack of a better term) and must dance barefoot on uncooked rice and then be physically restrained at all times to keep himself from joining the ranks of the undead and harming his friends. Now, tell me, which of these hapless young men would YOU rather be?
Side note: the music heard whenever the female ghost appears reminds me of that “Nick-nack-paddy-whack, give the dog a bone (there’s that word again), this old man came rolling home” song.
Anyway.
The “action” category is not well suited for this film, but Mr. Vampire is at its best during its most kinetic scenes. The sight of cousin Wai frantically scrambling this way and that to elude one of the rampaging undead predators while Kou and Chou make attempt after desperate attempt to thwart the seemingly unstoppable vampire is one that will draw many a fond chuckle from you long after the movie is over. It’s a see-and-see-again flick if ever there was one.
Now, a word of explanation about Mr. Vampire’s villainous ghoulies, so you don’t say “What in the name of hell-bent fuck am I watching?” too much during the movie. Vampires, as portrayed in this film, bear little resemblance to the nocturnal bloodsuckers that most of us are familiar with. Instead, they’re pretty much animated corpses who hop around (the ground upon which the living trod burn their feet) and attack anyone who crosses their path. They are able to locate victims by honing in on the breath of the living…witness Kou and company holding their breath to escape a horrible fate with big nasty teeth. It’s like remaining motionless so as not to get gobbled up by the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.
Some may find this film too weird or cartoony or cheesy to have any real merit. Well, fuck “some”. Mr. Vampire is a priceless gem mined from a cave of shit and, despite its age, it will stay untarnished by time for those of us who appreciate a rip-roaring fun movie.
Numskull’s Rating: 9/10
By Perkele
Easily one of the best HK comedy movies I’ve seen [only rivals being a few Stephen Chow flicks], “Mr. Vampire” is a must for everyone interested in HK cinema [or fantasy/horror cinema for general]. While the first [and best] widely recognized HK “hopping vampire” movie was of course Sammo’s magnificent “Encounters of the Spooky Kind”, “Mr. Vampire” was the movie that actually started the whole genre.
Countless spin-offs include at least 4 sequels [plus them “Mr. Vampire ’92” stuff and so on] and countless other horrendous attempts trying to cash in with the then popular “vampire” trend (hey, at least they don’t do ’em anymore).
[A beginners guide to Chinese vampires: A Chinese vampire has actually very little to do with your usual western vampire. Chinese vampires, or rather gyonshies, are corpses that for some reason haven’t had a decent burial ceremony and thereforeÉ arch, fuck it. Just go watch the movie already and you have the necessary knowledge.]
I’ll skip the plot (you HAVE to watch this the movie anyway), but let’s reveal that there are a Taoist priest (played wonderfully by Lam Ching-Ying, no wonder he got to play the same character for the rest of his life) whose main concerns are a bunch of living dead on the loose and two rather idiotic assistants Chin Siu-Ho [who falls in love with a female ghost] and Ricky Hui [who gets bitten by a gyonshi].
There’s excitement, brief martial arts encounters [involving Lam Ching-Ying & Chin Siu-Ho battling vampires (i.e. Yuen Wah)], thrills [including a flying head], magic [surprisingly there’s not-too-bad special effects] and funny [what?] comedy. The movie also looks quite good like most of the 80’s bigger-budget films.
By the way, when you see the corgeous Moon Lee in this movie (as the daughter of the rich merchant), can you believe that this chick can really FIGHT (well if you can’t it, watch the finale of “Angels II”)?
Highly recommended.
Perkele’s Rating: 8.5/10
“The Stormriders” Chinese Theatrical Poster
AKA: The Stormriders
Director: Andrew Lau
Cast: Ekin Cheng, Aaron Kwok, Sonny Chiba, Kristy Yeung, Michael Tse, Lawrence Cheng, Wayne Lai, Roy Cheung, Shu Qi, Jason Chu, Alex Fong, Anthony Wong
Running Time: 128 min.
By Sergio Martorelli
Lord Conquer (Sonny Chiba) leads the greatest clan of medieval China, the creatively named Conquer Clan. He collects rare, funny-named swords like a kid amasses Pokémon cards, and only wants two things from life: a good marriage for his pritty daughter Charity (Kristy Yeung) and a duel to death with Sword Saint (Anthony Wong dressed as Gandalf). Ah, if only things were just as easy! The evasive Sword Saint keeps postponing the duel (he follows the “why can’t we be friends?” motto), and seer Mud Buddha (Yiu-Cheung, the inspector Tang from Gen-X Cops) foretells that, to secure his post as The Big Pumbaa of Da ‘Hood, Conquer must bring to his side the kids Wind (Ekin Chen) and Cloud (Aaron Kwok). That’s what he does, by ordering the killing of the boys’ fathers and raisin’ em as his own offspring. Of course Conquer omits the murder bit, so Wind and Cloud are loyal to him. But as usual when you have some skeletons in the closet, someday the bones will rattle for everybody to hear.
Cut to ten years later. The now grown-up lads gained powers beyond those of mere mortal men. Wind commands the wind (not THAT wind, but the kind that inflates sails!), Cloud controls water (something as useful as Zan’s powers from the Super Friends cartoon, judging by a later sequence), and a third boy, Frost (Michael Tse), freezes his enemies with punches. Cool! But naughty Mud Buddha conveniently lets out the second part of the prophecy – you know, the BAD part – and hauls ass before Conquer finds out he was duped. Prophecy says that when Wind and Cloud unite for the same goal (so far, they’ve spent all the movie bickering), Conquer’s ass will be grass. Obviously bad news, but powermad Conquer thinks he can control his own destiny. Poor sap.
Since both boys have the hots for Charity, Lordy arranges her marriage with one of ’em. And just like in any chapter of “Days of Our Lifes”, that’s not a good move – but Conquer is counting on that. BTW, for a girl named “Charity”, Conquers’ daughter is very giving indeed. She likes both stepbrothers, but we know who we’re rooting for. Wind, the romantic one, takes Charity on “Superman: The Movie”-like fancy flights, poetry readings, firefly-watching and other sissy stuff. Cloud, the tempestous one, just storms Charity’s bedroom and fucks her silly. Atta boy! So far, we’re barely over the first hour. There’s plenty more to come, including self-mutilation, grave robbery and a cool fire monster, but I don’t wanna spoil the surprises.
Let’s talk about the cast instead. Kwok and Cheng are China’s answer to Justin Timberlake, and they do a fairly decent job as leading lords (well, Cheng does; Kowk isn’t that talented, but he tries). Sonny Chiba, as expected, puts the movie in the breast pocket and runs with it; his performance is operistic and kabuki-like, a perfect choice for a comic book villain. The guy was 59, but look at his muscles when he rips off his shirt; rrowwrrr! Yu Rong Guang shines on his cameo as Cloud’s dad, omnipresent Anthony Wong has a (very) small but striking part, and soft-porn starlet Shu Qi repeats the same schlap-schtick from Jackie Chan’s lamest film, “Gorgeous”. Granted, she’s cute, but her character is more annoying than Scrappy-Doo. A Valley Girl in medieval China? Sorry, me no buy it. About the flick: eat your heart out, Goku! Run and hide, Vegita! Super Sayan, schmuper shmayan! Wind, Cloud, Frost and Conquer are the real deal! Thanks to lots of computer wizardry, our heroes fly around, move faster than a Keystone Cop, shine from inside with pretty colours and exchange body parts at will. All this insanity came from the minds of director Andrew Lau (Wai Keung Lau, NOT Andy Lau Tak-wah) and Ma Wing Ping, creator of the comic book used as basis for the screenplay (some critics label the comic as Manga, but aren’t Manga supposed to be japanese?).
All the sound of fury made this the Hong Kong blockbuster of 1998, and deservedly so. The Storm Riders may have an uneven story, but is pretty exciting when watched with the right frame of mind – meaning “check your brain at the door”. The reviewed DVD is the Brazilian edition by China Video, with the same transfer and extras from Tai Seng’s version. There are portuguese subtitles on the making of (Tai Seng’s has none), so if you have a friend who speaks spanish, that can help cuz both languages have similarities. Also included are non-subtitled trailers for Running Out of Time (dubbed in english), A Man Called Hero, The Storm Raiders (dubbed in portuguese), The Duel, Double Tap, Once Upon a Time in China and America (dubbed in english), High Risk (dubbed in english and full frame – eeep!!!) and Full Contact.
Sergio Martorelli’s Rating: 7/10
By James H.
Andrew Lau’s “The Stormriders” begins promisingly enough with an impressive title sequence, showcasing digital animation and some good music. From there, the film goes down hill. It features a remarkable cliched and convoluted plot, and it was very easy to tell where the producers put the money. Summarizing the plot would be a waste of my time, and yours.
Like many of today’s Hollywood summer films, the real focus of “The Stormriders” is the special effects. The effects in the film, while being undeniably good, do not look overly convincing, proving Roger Ebert’s “Toupee Effect” rule.
Lau’s directing has the combined style and grace of a “Mortal Kombat” game and a Madonna video. It even looks like it was shot on video, and not film. Perhaps this overabundance of style is to compensate for the giant lack of substance. I’m not condemning films that showcase style over substance, they can be and are good when done right, like Sam Raimi’s “The Evil Dead” and John Woo’s “A Better Tomorrow II”.
The film also has a very choppy editing style to it. Not like the oddly smooth flowing editing of Steven Soderbergh’s films (like “The Limey” and “Traffic”), but the sloppy and abrupt editing of Michael Bay’s “Armageddon”. It ended up giving the movie an episodic feel to it, like a series of television shows edited together to make a movie.
There were several fight scenes in the film, all involving characters with the kind of powers found in a (gasp!) “Mortal Kombat” video game. In fact, one character, named Frost, has abilities, which are strikingly similar to those of (gasp!) Sub Zero of the (gasp!) “Mortal Kombat” franchise. But, I digress. There is nothing really wrong with the fights, but the came across in a rather unexciting fashion; lacking a certain “kick”, so to speak.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, who knows?), the version I saw was what appears to be a heavily cut American version, which ran a grand total of 88 minutes. Perhaps the dubbing also lent a hand to my distaste for the film. No matter, I do not think making this picture any longer would have made it any better.
James H’s Rating: 3/10
By Dave Bell
No goofy joke, no silly references to sitcoms or politicians. This movie deserves better. An amazing film of epic quality, that weaves lush cinemtography with some of the most breathtaking – and seamless – special effects put on film. The story moves at steady pace without bogging down, at no point will the viewer wonder how long have they been watching and when is the end coming. The characters stay true to themselves and not a single performance rings sour. Kwok, Cheng and Chiba are marvelous but most underrated may be the actor playing Frost. He brings a quiet dignity to the role and when he admits his unrequited love for Chastity it rings painfully true. If you’ve only seen this movie on video, buy a DVD player to see it again. If you’ve seen it on DVD, beg your theater owner to show a 70 mm print. This is the best movie since Scorcese’s Goodfellas.
Dave Bell’s Rating: 10/10
By Vic Nguyen
Based on a best selling comic, this big budget, special effects laden production features a cast of all stars and was helmed by premiere filmmaker Andrew Lau Wai-keung. Pop singers Aaron Kwok and Ekin Cheng star as the title characters Wind and Cloud, brought together to bring down the evil Lord Conqueror, played by Japanese cinema legend Sonny Chiba. Despite the presence of big name actors and actresses, the real star of this film are the special effects by Centro, which set new standards for the future of Hong Kong Cinema. That, along with a keen visual flair by former cinematographer Andrew Lau Wai-keung, makes the Storm Riders a worthwhile film worth tracking down. Released in 1998, The Storm Riders was king at the box office, edging out headline productions such as Jackie Chan’s Who Am I? and Chow Yun-fat’s US debut The Replacement Killers.
Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10
“Project A” Japanese Theatrical Poster
Director: Jackie Chan
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, Dick Wei, Kwan Hoi San, Law Ho Kai, John Cheung, Kwan Yung, Lee Wan Faat, Chan Chi Fai, Chan Ling Wai, Cheng Hong Yip, Cheung Chok Chow, Chin Kar Lok, Chang Seng-Kwong
Running Time: 105 min.
By JJ Hatfield
Damn it’s good to see Jackie in his prime! Everyone looks terrific in this movie directed by Jackie himself. At this period in his life Jackie was still frickin nuts and doing insane stunts and fights, often directed by Sammo Hung who most definitely is a fantastic fight choreographer. Yuen Biao has a lot of screen time to show off those amazing acrobatic talents and martial arts and even a bit of acting.
Although there is no intricate plot it isn’t missed. After all when you watch a film such as this you don’t do so looking for award winning dialogue. The viewer expects to see some cool tight fights and some crazy stunts mixed with Jackie humor. Well this movie will more than fulfill all expectations!
Jackie has made so many films it is nearly impossible to say which is the best. Best in what way? It is difficult to compare many of his films. Even though his better movies are usually martial arts based it still is damned impossible to declare one single best. However “Project A” has to be near the very top. It really is that good. There are just enough of the right elements in the right mix to make this a rather well rounded “three brothers” movie.
In the early 1900s Hong Kong law enforcement was battling with pirates who took advantage of its location and established crime connections to plunder at sea. With so much wealth and so many passengers going back and forth particularly with the British the vast stretches of open water made ships ripe for the taking. Jackie and his unit are in the Coastguard (water army) and the primary goal is to rid the waters around Hong Kong of pirates. Unfortunately so far they have had little luck in capturing their foe.
The group is shipping out soon and the crew go to a tavern to forget their worries about not returning from this assignment. There is also a group of Hong Kong Police drinking at the same tavern. As things sometimes do a small matter becomes exaggerated, tempers flare and what follows is one of the absolute best cinema group fight scenes ever! They must have had every stunt guy and more involved. The screen is packed with action and people fighting! Excellent, intricate action everywhere. All choreographed, with no guys hanging out on the fringes. Everybody on screen is fighting! And we even discover where the music comes from for once.
Fighting doesn’t convey adequately what is really happening many times. Especially with Dragon (Jackie) and the younger captain played by Yuen Biao. Jumping off of walls, tackling each other and some great moves on the bar are more like small stunts. Even when humor is used it was really quite good. There are several extended scenes that are hilariously funny!
This is one of the absolute best use of humor in any of Jackie’s films!
Dragon meets an old associate Fei (Sammo Hung) who insists he has given up his illegal ways and gone straight. Despite their differences they are deep down friends. But they are also on opposite sides of the law. This isn’t “A Better Tomorrow” though everything is lively, upbeat and entertaining! The music is perfect for the chase scenes and really adds to the movie. There are a lot of chase scenes! On foot, up and down rickety wooden stairs, on bicycles through the narrow alleys of Hong Kong, in and out of shops and up and down streets. The cinematography is quite good especially the action sequences, as you would expect from Jackie’s team. The focus is on the mark with perfectly balanced scenes. The fights are shot to the best possible advantage and there is also some hand held camera work. The massive fight scene (there is more than one) action finale is a thing of beauty! Dick Wei is at his peak of performance and is terrific as the pirate leader. Jackie, Biao and Sammo all have their very different techniques pushed to the limit. These guys know each other so well they can move like one. This is a rare treat!
Yes this is the movie where Jackie borrows a scene from a Harold Lloyd movie “Safety Last” made in 1923. Jackie often borrowed scenes from Lloyd and Buster Keaton. In the spirit Jackie uses it I consider it an homage versus a scene steal. Aside from the actual clock hang there is absolutely no similarity in the plot. In his book Jackie stated he tried to do this stunt several times but would come back inside. (That is why there just happens to be a guy hanging out the tower window) Finally he just did it. It’s an absolutely crazy stunt and once you see it you won’t ever forget it! I know Jackie will certainly remember. People forget that you need a bit more than guts to do stunts. You also have to be in phenomenally great shape! If you have seen this action extravaganza watch it again. If you have not get it immediately! It will more than satisfy the desire to be totally entertained!
Awards:
4th Annual Hong Kong Film Awards
Winner: Best Action Design (Jackie Chan’s Stuntmen Association)
Nominated: Best Actor (Jackie Chan)
There really was a Project “A”. Early in the 1900s pirates were a serious problem especially in the waters near Hong Kong. They were mercenaries and merciless. Pirates do still exist today and when caught are usually executed. The British/Hong Kong officials created a special plan to go after the pirates, calling it Project “A”. There are still pirates out in the waters, and not just around Hong Kong.
Project “A” is a winner all the way around! Highest Recommendation!
JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 10/10
By Brmanuk
Overrated is a word that springs to mind when watching this comic swashbuckling kung fu flick. I found the first 40 mins very boring with very average fight scenes and a silly bar brawl. The person dubbing Jackie’s voice didn’t fit the character at all and it was often hard to make out what the actors were saying. The last hour of the film was excellent and it was worth renting just to see the “bike chase” (and the scenes leading up to it) alone. Overall, a decent Jackie flick which is worth seeing a few times until you die of boredom.
Brmanuk’s Rating: 7.5/10
By Ro
WOW!!! Despite everything I read about this film, I was still not prepared for it’s absolute perfection. The action advances the plot, the plot and characters motivate the comedy, and the comedy enhances the action. Kudos go to Edward Tang for the screenplay and double kudos to Jackie Chan for both co-writing the screenplay and directing the film. The pacing is flawless, there isn’t a wasted moment in the entire movie!
While Jackie is undoubtedly the star, Samo Hung and Yuen Biao get plenty of opportunity to display their considerable talents. This movie has a barroom fight that will ruin you for Westerns forever! I was especially interested in the now-famous clock tower scene since I saw Jackie explain how he shot it in Jackie Chan, My Story. Apparently, he decided to have the stunt team let him hang there until he actually couldn’t hold on anymore! Who know Jackie used The Method??? My God! Did he actually fall on his head?!? Twice!?!
Just one word about the tape I bought from Advantage Video. It’s a ‘Venom Video’, dubbed in English (with German subtitles – go figure!). The picture quality is first rate and most of the dubbing is very good, but they decided to use Chinese voices for some of the characters, notably Samo Hung, and they were extremely hard to understand. Boy, did I wish I knew German! I have no problem with Samo on Martial Law, but it took a couple tries to understand everything his ‘stunt-dubber’ was saying. I’d suggest you’d be better off with subtitles, but I’m currently in the middle of trying to work my way thru Project A II, also by Advantage and the subtitles are HORRENDOUS!! (Apparently Americans are part psychic and can read tiny white letters on a white background, while those poor, non-psychic Germans need large letters edged in black so they’re visible on any background!) Whatever you decide, you MUST buy, rent or borrow this movie. You’re not a Jackie Chan fan without seeing it!
Ro’s Rating: 10/10
By Jordan
This, the first of the excellent ‘three brothers’ films, is one of my favourite JC movies. The stunts are big, the fights are excellent and there is a decent plot (which also proves that a period film can be made with no need for a shaolin temple or the likes). The bar room brawl lives up to it’s reputation, the bicycle chase is uncomparable, the final fight with Jackie, Samo and Yuen Biao vs. ‘Pirate Sam’ was very well done and the password scene was god-damn hilarious “A dumb man asks a lama for a trumpet. The lama doesn’t understand and gives him a pumpkin…” Although in some places it is a little boring, the very best of the ‘three brothers’ films and one of Jackie Chan’s finest cinematic masterpieces.
Jordan’s Rating: 9/10
By Spiff
Project A is without a doubt one of Jackie’s finest. The movie rolls from one well done action scene to another, and stuck in between are comic bits that one can actually laugh with, instead of corny slapstick that is sometimes seen in Jackie’s movies. Every single fight/action scene is everything you would come to expect from a good JC movie. The stunts are outrageous and from a certain point funny, but than at the same time amazing and very original, enough to make you get down on your knees and start chanting “I’m not worthy.” Not a dull moment passes in this movie that’s packed with unbelievable stunts and fights. They don’t get much better than this. A must see for any JC fan!
Spiff’s Rating: 10/10
By Dead Channel
Ugh. Got this one, and it was one of the most horrendous, worst Jackie Chan film I had ever seen. I literally forced myself to finish this one. I’m sure it has it’s good parts, but I gave it a good once-over and it did nothing for me. Provided it had Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao, it was totally worthless. The movie is totally uneventful until the very end, when they infiltrate the big bad pirates lair. Even the end fight didn’t seem all that great. My favorite part (the only good part in my opinion) was when Jackie let his bike ghost-ride into the bike racks at the Coast Guard academy (or wherever it was). By the way, don’t read into any hype about “the greatest bar-room brawl ever composed on film”. I’ve seen better fights/action in Road House with Patrick Swayze!
Dead Channel’s Rating: 2/10 (one for pure pity and one for the bike part)
By Numskull
Two things, and two things only prevent this movie from getting a perfect 10/10: the story’s moments of incomprehensibility and the substandard interaction between the 3 brothers. Since this movie is so crammed with action sequences, a few extra scenes that clarify the plot wouldn’t have hurt it in the least. And, although Jackie and Samo have a few scenes together, Yuen Biao (a.k.a. The Perpetual Underdog)’s talents are wasted in an insignificant role as a cop. If I had watched this movie without knowing that he was in it, I probably wouldn’t have noticed him.
Aside from these flaws, PROJECT A is pure gold. Many a fine brawl erupts that is loaded with whole new types of pain. Just watching some of them is enough to jar your preserves. Filter the dookie out of all the waste excreted by the stuntmen and you could start your own blood bank.
My personal favorite was the fight in the V.I.P. club populated by tight-assed, elitist shit-fucks who probably piss seltzer and have lurid dreams in which wealthy young women shed one of their seventeen layers of clothing before waking up with a perfectly dreadful bead of perspiration soiling their imported blankets or their pampered skin. I hate rich people (“and when I finally become a rich person, I’m gonna hate poor people. It’s the American way.” -Kirstie Alley from one of the last episodes of CHEERS).
And speaking of which, did anybody else notice the striking similarity between the PROJECT A scene in which Jackie opens the door to his office to find everyone clustered around it, eavesdropping on him and the CHEERS scene in which Sam opens the door to his office to find everyone clustered around it, eavesdropping on him? Either the CHEERS writers pulled a Spielberg or they share a trans-oceanic, psychic rapport with Jackie and don’t know it. Anyway, see the damn movie. Bad things will happen to you if you don’t.
Numskull’s Rating: 9/10
By Dan-O
In this wet and wild outing, Jackie puts on skimpy sailor suit and enjoys getting himself handcuffed, climbing large poles, rolling around with big, sweaty pirates with nipple rings, and….
Woah, wher’d THAT come from?!!? EEEEEEWWWWWW! I gotta take a shower now.
Despite the homoerotic undertones (real or imagined), this is the kinda Jackie Chan movie that you’d sell a vital internal organ to see in it’s original theatrical form (I’ll sell one of my livers. I can get by with one). This is also the kind of Jackie Chan movie that makes me proud to be alive in a day and age when we humans, as a species, can appreciate such a fine quality film as this. First Strike, although fun in spots, is now to me nothing more than dried fecal matter between the toes of this movie. Jackie was obviously in TOP form for this picture, as were the other 2 “Little Fortunes”. That head pirate is one wild lookin’ freak, but how would YOU know, unless you saw the film, in which case you shouldn’t even NEED to be reading this, so what the hell are you doing here anyway, huh, you lookieloo; you rubbernecking bastard, you’re holding up net traffic somewhere, and you couldn’t care less, could you, you cretin! GO BACK TO OREGON!
Lesson to be learned in this Mutha of all Sailor Movies: Just because they wear those uniforms doesn’t mean they’re gay; then again…… (Hey you! Please don’t send me death threats. I’m only kidding. Lemme see a smile. Thaaaats better.)
Dan-O’s Rating: 9/10 flagpoles
By Vic Nguyen
A true classic from action master Jackie Chan. This man performs some stunts that nobody will ever believe. In this film, Jackie plays Dragon Ma, a wiseacre who works for the border patrol sailors, but they soon have to disband to join the police force in order to catch some wanted pirates. Connected to the plot are some of the most incredible fights and stunts ever shot on film, including a great bicycle chase and the fall from the clocktower that could have seriously hurt or killed Jackie Chan. That is what this man puts himself through to please his loyal fans. A must see picture!
Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9/10
By Yummyspam
This was Jackie’s first modern movie, and probably his best. Jackie performs stunts that were unknown to the world at the time, and he does them as well or better then ever done before. This is the first of the “Three Brothers” films, which feature Jackie with his Peeking Opera Classmates, Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao.
I will sadly admit that the first half-hour of this film is pretty dull and unexciting. Normally, I would take off some points for that, but trust me, the rest of the flick more than makes up for it!!! After enduring some painful scenes of “coast guard” life, Jackie soon reverts to butt-kicking form. Jackie is certainly the star of this film. Sammo has less screen time, and Yuen seems to be in an extened cameo. Which is too bad, as the combination of all 3 is one of the highlights of Cinema.
Anyway, the things that stand out in this film are the bicycle chase, the legendary clock tower scene, and the dozens of fights that break out during this film.
Yummyspam’s Rating: 10/10
Blades of Blood aka Like the Moon Get Out the Clouds, Like the Moon Escaping from the Clouds DVD (Lionsgate)
RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011
During a turbulent time when political upheaval, rebellion, and invasion are coming to a head with a clash between two swordsmen caught up in a violent and bloody struggle to seize control of the country they love. With their army of alliance standing behind them they will meet for the most important battle of their lives. Swords will be drawn while many lives are lost, but only one swordsman will walk away the new king of the land. Check out the trailer here.
Starring Hwang Jeong-Min (“A Bittersweet Life”), Cha Seung-Won (“An Eye for an Eye”), and Han Ji-Hye (“Love Me Once Again”).
Avenging Eagle aka Shaolin Hero DVD (Dragon Dynasty)
RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011
Directed by Sun Chung, Avenging Eagle proves that the Shaw Brothers were still at the top of their game, even toward the end of their movie-making empire. With its charismatic leading actors, witty rapport, hateful villains, and out-of-this-world weaponry, this one is a definite source of delight for the old-school kung-fu fan. Starring Ti Lung, Alexander Fu Sheng, Guk Fung, Si Si, Yue Wing, Johnny Wang (Lung Wei), Dick Wei and Eddy Ko Hung! Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers). Read cityonfire.com’s review.
Golden Swallow aka Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick DVD (Dragon Dynasty)
RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011
“Golden Swallow” is the sequel to King Hu’s 1966 masterpiece, “Come Drink With Me.” Chang Cheh takes over the director’s chair and transforms Hu’s classic theatrical-style flick into an extravaganza of extreme violence and comic book-like gore! Starring Jimmy Wang Yu, Cheng Pei Pei, Lo Lieh and many more! Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers). Read cityonfire.com’s review.
Blood Brothers aka Dynasty of Blood DVD (Dragon Dynasty)
RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011
Set in the waning years of the Ching Dynasty, this dramatic, tragic, romantic, blood-soaked martial arts tale of betrayal and revenge explores one of the most sensational scandals in Chinese history. Directed by Chang Cheh and starring David Chiang, Ti Lung, Chen Kuan Tai, Ching Li and Wang Lung Wei! Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers). Read cityonfire.com’s review.
Killer Clans aka Killer Clan DVD (Dragon Dynasty)
RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011
Based on a popular swordplay novel by Ku Lung, this action packed 1976 Shaw Brothers classic is directed by Chor Yuen (“The House of 72 Tenants”), and stars Chung Wa, Chan Ping, Yueh Hua, Lo Lieh, Wong Chung and many more! Featuring choreography by Yuen Cheung-yan (Yuen Woo Ping’s brother). Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers).
“The Iron Fisted Monk” Chinese Theatrical Poster
Director: Sammo Hung
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Sammo Hung Kam-bo, Chan Sing, Lo Hoi Pang, Fung Hak On, James Tien, Dean Shek, Chiu Hung, Wong Hap, Chin Yuet Sang, Chu Ching, Casanova Wong, Hsiao Ho, Meng Hoi, Eric Tsang, Wu Ma
Running Time: 90 min.
By Perkele
Sammo’s directorial debut, The Iron Fisted Monk is somewhat of a very impressive start for his directing career. Even though it’s his first time, he handles the directing like an old-timer. The story moves on swiftly, and there’s enough superb fight action to keep fans of the genre satisfied. The fighting (co-arranged by Jackie Chan) is about as good as in his later films, or in other words, f*cking fantastic!
What brings the overall viewing experience down a bit, it’s the suddenly changing tone of the film. It begins as a nice action comedy with Sammo portraying a rather idiotic Shaolin student Miller Six (a real existed, historical kung fu hero) who fools around just like Jackie Chan later did in his smash hits Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow and Drunken Master. Early on Miller Six has a few cool bouts with James Tien and the famous monk San Te (the guy who Gordon Liu played in 36th Chamber, here Chen Sing). Then the evil Manchus come, and the film isn’t fun anymore.
The Manchus are indeed evil, brutally slaughtering innocent old man and lots of other people. The meanest and nastiest of them is who else but Fong Hark On (surprise!), and he really is a dirty bastard son of a bitch. Besides killing, he has a whole TWO distasteful and repulsive rape scenes, which are shown in great detail (that is compared to other chop sockies, not X-rated stuff). Hell, Sammo should’ve just present us a few hints that Fong Hark On is obviously determined to rape these young ladies, not the entire act, goddamnit! Showing him murdering nice people is depressing enough, but these brutal rapings almost spoil the film! Gladly soon enough Miller Six teams up with San Te and they have a spectacular fight with the best of the Manchu fighters and Hark On gets what he deserves.
First class kung fu-ery, only suffering from the few unsavory moments.
Perkele’s Rating: 7.5/10
“Hapkido” Chinese Theatrical Poster
Director: Huang Feng
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Angela Mao, Sammo Hung, Carter Wong, Wang In Sik, Pai Ying, Teruo Yamane, Nancy Sit Kar Yin, Bruce Leung, Paul Wei, Gam Dai, Ji Han Jae, Suen Lam, Jackie Chan, Lam Ching Ying, Yen Shi Kwan, Yuen Wah
Running Time: 92 min.
By Lawgiver
You don’t get much more old school than this one. Tons of fights, with tons of people. The plot is basically good Chinese against bad Japanese (and bad disloyal Chinese). The trouble starts when Samo’s hotheaded character goes after a couple of drunk, lecherous Japanese guys in a restaurant (when will people in China learn not to eat out; it’s too dangerous). Sure, Samo wins the fight, but the Japanese belong to the Black Bear School, and it isn’t long before it’s school versus school. The most memorable scene in the movie to me takes place in a market; the fight is pretty standard, but there is a scene where boiling water is poured on a poor defenseless woman (mean stuff).
“Hapkido” is Carter Wong’s first film, and as usual, he is a lot of fun. Old Stone-Face Wong hadn’t learned his patented three facial emotions yet (mad, angry, and angry/sad). But even though he’s not much of an actor, I always get a kick out of any movie he’s in.
It is also one of the first starring roles for Samo Hung. It’s weird to see Samo so young and not that fat. One wonders what kind of star Samo might have become if he wasn’t known for his girth, but it is his very fat that makes his fighting so interesting to see on the screen.
Jackie Chan supposedly has a cameo somewhere in the film, the problem is there are a number of fights where one person stands in the middle as hundreds circle and attack one by one. I take people’s word that Chan is in the film, but I’ve never actually caught a glimpse of him (not that I’ve really looked that hard).
But the film isn’t alternately called “Lady Kung Fu” for nothing. Angela Mao is amazing. Unlike a lot of actresses in ’70s movies who fight with a dancey, soft, woman-like style, Angela Mao really looks like she could take your head off.
A lot of fun. Hell, even the opening credits are cool.
Lawgiver’s Rating: 8/10
“Odd Couple” Chinese DVD Cover
Director: Lau Kar Wing
Producer: Karl Maka
Cast: Sammo Hung, Lau Kar Wing, Leung Kar Yan, Mars, Lee Hoi San, Dean Shek Tien, Yeung Sai Gwan, Karl Maka, Billy Chan Wui Ngai, Peter Chan Lung, Benny Lai Keung Kuen, Lam Ching Ying, To Wai Wo
Running Time: 97 min.
By Numskull
Another of Sammo Hung’s comedic period kung fu films, this time with him and Lau Kar Wing each playing two of the four main characters. The first pair to whom we are introduced are Naughty Old Man and Crazy Old Man, two old men (!!!) who each insist that their preferred weapon (spear and sword; don’t ask which is which) is superior and keep dueling each other to prove it. Inevitably, these bouts conclude in draws. They decide to train one pupil each and have them carry on the tradition. So, the old Lau Kar Wing recruits the young Sammo Hung, a ferryman, to learn spear fighting, and the old Sammo Hung sets the young Lau Kar Wing’s house on fire to convince him to be his sword fighting student. I had a 9th grade science teacher who liked to set things on fire, but never a whole house. Not that his students knew about, anyway…
Rigorous training ensues, sporadically interrupted for some lame-ass bit of lame-ass comedy, such as Dean Shek’s guest appearance as “Mr. Rocking.” In typical Sammo fashion, the crux of the story, if it can so be called, pops up late in the film, and, not coincidentally, it gets a lot better from there. Leung Kar Yan is a fighter whom the two old men shamed into retirement some years back, and when they arrive at his stronghold to free their captured pupils, a fair amount of hell breaks loose. After about an hour of mostly training sequences and buffoonery, the ass-ripping fight choreography here is doubly welcome. It continues throughout most of the movie’s remainder, culminating in a very predictable conclusion: the two young students…who, by now, have become allies out of necessity…have their fated duel, and lo and behold, neither of them can best the other. “So neither the sword nor the spear is the king of weapons,” says the superfluous narrator. “It is human affection which is invincible.”
Awww.
Well, the movie is still pretty good. I normally dislike the excessive silliness in films of this type, but here, it’s bearable. A satisfactory, if not exceptional, Sammo entry.
Numskull’s Rating: 7/10
By Perkele
This movie is awesome! Lau Kar Wing and Sammo are absolute masters – just look how skilled these guys are! Both handle their weapons with incredible expertise! Forget all the fancy wire enhanced flying sh*t: THIS is REAL kung fu! “The Odd Couple” is almost a flawless masterpiece. It showcases us the best weapon battles ever committed to celluloid. You don’t even want to hope for a fistfight, these sword/spear duels are absolutely fantastic! I can’t believe that anybody likes them patchy Jackie oldies nor that dated Bruce Lee shit over this one. The cassette cover says “choreography here rivals even with the best work of Jackie Chan” or something like that which is quite funny because Jackie was one of the fight choreographers. What’s also funny is this whole movie itself.
The plot is actually based on one invention: “Hey, let’s make a movie where Lau Kar Wing plays an old master of the spear and Sammo Hung plays an old master of the sword and the every ten years these too guys have duel which ends up as a draw every single time!” “Yeah, that’s funny! But I came up with an even FUNNIER idea: let’s make Sammo play also old Lau’s new student and then of course Lau plays old Sammo’s young student!” “Now THAT’S funny! And then these younger guys also duel and are equal as well!” But there can’t be only fights that always end up as a draw, so they threw in an common enemy (Leung Kar Yan) who has been beaten by both old masters and then trained himself for a re-match.
The comedic play between the two main heroes is surprisingly good, but for some stupid reason they hired Dean Shek for a cameo role [involving a disgusting scene where he disgorges eggs]. Besides that, “The Odd Couple” is a top notch film and a must see for every martial arts fun. The best weapons movie ever made.
Perkele’s Rating: 9.5/10
Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives Blu-ray/DVD (Strand)
RELEASE DATE: July 12, 2011
Winner of the top prize at the Cannes Film Festival, Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives is a unique tale of a man embracing life’s greatest mystery. Choosing to spend his final days surrounded by his loved ones in the countryside, Boonmee is visited by his dead wife (a ghost) and his lost son (an strange hairy beast with red glowing eyes) who come to guide him to his final resting place, a cave where his first soul began. With a wry sense of humor and a humanist spirit, Uncle Boonmee, one of the most critically acclaimed films of the year, is a magical tale of reincarnation, karma and nature.
Check out the trailer here.
Update: The director is also currently heading up a sidebar at the Venice Film Festival.
“New Dragon Inn'” Chinese Theatrical Poster
AKA: New Dragon Gate Inn
Director: Raymond Lee
Co-director: Tsui Hark
Co-director: Ching Siu-tung
Cast: Brigitte Lin, Maggie Cheung, Tony Leung Ka-Fai, Donnie Yen, Hung Yan-yan, Yuen Bun, Ng Kai-wah, Lan Tun, Yam Sai-Kwoon, Yuen Cheung-Yan
Running Time: 88/99 min.
By Numskull
While I wouldn’t refer to this movie as an “epic” it does have a wide narrative and visual scope that places it head and shoulders over many other Chinese martial arts/swordplay films. It doesn’t need to resort to having people duke it out every ten minutes to tell its story, and the non-action scenes, by and large, are just as engaging as the fights. It rivals the overpraised Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in terms of slick cinematography and character development. Too bad it doesn’t have Yuen Wo-Ping to give it that extra “oomph.”
The fight scenes in Dragon Inn rely a little too heavily on wires and suspension of disbelief on the part of the viewer for my taste. I think the term “wire fu” is thrown around a little too casually, and distinctions need to be made between the degrees to which the fights in films like this are, how shall we say, “enhanced.” You’ve got something like Iron Monkey (the ’93 version) where the role of wires is primarily to exaggerate peoples’ jumps and the impact of critical blows…well, OK. Fine by me. Then, you’ve got movies where the “martial arts” (note quote marks) choreographers go so overboard on having people bounce off walls and blow each other up without the help of explosive devices that they forget to have them…y’know, HIT each other. The best example of this type I can think of is the wretched Butterfly & Sword. Putting BOTH types of combat under the catch-all category of “wire fu” is, in my opinion, sheer folly.
Dragon Inn’s battles lie somewhere between these two realms, with people jumping all over the damn place and performing attacks straight out of a video game, BUT not forgetting to do some actual hand-to-hand fighting while they’re at it. It’s pretty obvious that a certain amount of undercranking was used in places, too. With the film’s above-average storytelling, though, the martial arts aspect somewhat lessens in significance. Rather than just waiting for the next outbreak of violence, you actually start to care about what happens to these characters. Maggie Cheung’s performance is definitely the standout of the bunch. She plays a seductive innkeeper who has her foreign chef make meat buns out of her “victims” and she seems to be on both sides of the conflict…a real bitch, but still inexplicably likable. Donnie Yen, on the other hand, does very little other than stare straight ahead really intensely until the film’s bloody climax.
Not a bad movie by any means, but not exactly the instant classic that Tai Seng’s DVD packaging makes it out to be, either. They say this restored director’s cut is 103 minutes. Wrong…it’s 99. The theatrical release, I’m guessing, was 88. Ric Meyers (Inside Kung Fu magazine) has a commentary track and, praise God, you can watch it dubbed or subtitled (are you listening, Dimension?). One of those rare HK/Chinese films that doesn’t really need any polish and can be enjoyed, to some extent, by just about everyone (or at least those who want to see Maggie partially naked).
Numskull’s Rating: 7/10
“The Blade” Chinese Theatrical Poster
Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Vincent Zhao, Hung Yan-Yan, Song Lei, Moses Chan, Austin Wai, Valerie Chow, Jason Chu Wing-Tong, Michael Tse, Ngai Sing, Yuen Bun
Running Time: 100 min.
By Iuxion
Call me crazy, but I’ve always liked movies like The Blade, you know, wuxia movies with tight choreography and lots of swords. However, recently all that wire-fu with The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, etc. etc. has been getting me a little bored. Sure, it’s great, but I want something different now; something more realistic yet just as intense. So when I heard someone pitch The Blade as a Tsui Hark classic with no wires and lots of swordplay in the style of Wong Kar Wai, I couldn’t be more excited.
Tsui Hark basically utilizes every technique Wong Kar Wai is known for in this dark retelling of the One-Armed Swordsmen, but fails to emulate any of the stuff that fans really like in that director’s movies, mainly his interesting well-rounded characters. Tsui Hark’s characters are about as likable as an old rusted toilet, and his movie essentially looks like one too. To say that this movie is dark is an understatement-don’t expect The Swordsmen trilogy. I guess he was trying to gritty and bold (and a lot of this was pretty pointless story wise, besides being atmospheric). Not that I hate movies that concentrate on mood or atmosphere instead of a plot (quite the opposite actually), it’s just that there has to be something there. Staring at a bunch of dirty people, some of who hang naked upside down burnt to crisp, for two hours is not my idea of entertainment. Maybe he (Tsui Hark) should have concentrated on the script.
The one redeeming factor of this movie is the final fight sequence, which is obviously sped up a great deal, but is still interesting and well done. The rest of the fights don’t fare so well-sure, I wanted realistic action, but if it all looks this bad (think the James Bond fight sequences without the guns), I’ll take wire-fu any day.
In conclusion, this movie is very very bad, and I wanted to like it so much. Tsui Hark has never been my favorite director, although I have liked some of this other films (Time and Tide being one of them, a movie that also uses a lot of Wong Kar-wai techniques, but puts them to a better use).
Iuxion’s Rating: 4/10
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