Tetsuo: The Iron Man | aka The Ironman (1988) Review

"Tetsuo: The Iron Man" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Tetsuo: The Iron Man” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Shinya Tsukamoto
Producer: Shinya Tsukamoto
Cast: Tomoro Taguchi, Kei Fujiwara, Shinya Tsukamoto, Nobu Kanaoka, Renji Ishibashi
Running Time: 67 min.

By HKFanatic

Back in 1988, Japanese filmmaker Shinya Tsukamoto unleashed “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” upon an unsuspecting world. The movie was a seething techno-fusion of flesh, sex, and machinery that aimed to shock and disturb. It has since become a cult classic and rightfully so: despite borrowing elements from David Lynch’s “Eraserhead” and the work of David Cronenberg, “Tetsuo” is a unique vision that stands on its own and offers a viewing experience unlike any other. Anyone drawn to the darker side of cinema or just looking for something a little bit ‘out there’ should definitely sit themselves down and watch this film.

Shinya Tsukamoto’s black and white cinematography is immediately striking. He portrays the world as a mess of wires and circuitry, an industrial hell of smoke and rubble. Right away comparisons can be made to the seminal David Lynch movie “Eraserhead”. The two films are very similar in look and tone, and the Fetishist’s internal prison (it’ll make sense once you see the movie) directly recalls The Man in the Planet. However, I found “Tetsuo” to be a little easier to follow than “Eraserhead”, as well as slightly less disturbing. Whether or not this is good or bad depends upon your own personal taste. One thing that has always intrigued me about Tsukamoto is how he wears his American influences on his sleeves. Most Japanese directors don’t seem all took taken by Hollywood but Tsukamoto is a fan of filmmakers like Lynch and Sam Raimi and he isn’t afraid to show it in his work.

The premise of “Tetsuo” is relatively simple but it allows for so many interpretations. I’ll explain it briefly: a man is experimenting, trying to merge metal with his own body. He is struck by a car and some how imparts a techno-virus on the man who hit him. From here, we follow the guilt-stricken driver and his gradual descent into a techno-organic nightmare.

The visuals are out of this world as man becomes machine and machine becomes something else entirely. The film is low-budget but the effects work remarkably well. There is a homemade, physical quality to them that adds to the realism of the film. The main character’s transformation into a machine is visceral and shocking to watch. It’s difficult to find fault with this movie’s visuals, unless you absolutely loathe low-budget effects or fast motion camera work.

“Tetsuo” does lose focus during the third act, as many of Tsukamoto’s films tend to do. He has an uncanny ability to pull the viewer in during the first 2/3 of his movies, but for some reason he loses you towards the end. “Tetsuo” becomes far too ambiguous, esoteric, and convoluted to understand during the last fifteen minutes or so. Characters are screaming more than they’re speaking, wires are shooting out everywhere, and you have no idea what’s really happening; thus, it’s hard to care. Fortunately, the film redeems itself with a superb ending, especially the moment when a character utters the unforgettable line “Our love can destroy this whole fucking world.”

Much like “Eraserhead”, “Tetsuo” has a simple theme behind its bizarre happenings. While David Lynch’s film dealt with the anxieties of approaching fatherhood (among other things), at its core “Tetsuo” is about survivor’s guilt. With this in mind, the movie becomes easier to follow and more emotionally resonant. All of us have dealt with guilt at some point and “Tetsuo” shows, in graphic detail, how it can tear apart one’s life.

Over ten years later, “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” still shocks and disquiets. It’s a visually stunning, nihilistic piece of art that should not be missed. Just be warned: this is a relentless and haunting journey into a world where man and machine are one. I repeat: not for the squeamish!

By HKFanatic’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged |

Guns & Talks (2001) Review

"Guns & Talks" Korean Theatrical Poster

“Guns & Talks” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Jang Jin
Cast: Shin Hyun-Joon, Shin Ha-Gyun, Won Bin, Jung Jai-Yung, Jeong Jin-Young
Running Time: 123 min

By Equinox21

This film is a classic! Though, it took watching it twice to come to that realization. But every time I watch this one, I come to appreciate it even more. The acting is terrific, the comedy is funny, the action is spectacular, and the music is excellent!

The movie is about a foursome team of Gen-X hit men. The leader is Sang-yeon (Shin Hyeon-jun [Blue]); he gets the team their jobs and likes to take pictures of himself with the clients. The sniper/marksman is Jae-yeong (Jeong Jae-yeong [No Blood No Tears]), a man of few words; his cold, quiet delivery is super cool! The crazy one is Jung-woo (Shin Ha-kyun [J.S.A., Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance]); he just can’t seem to pull off a solo mission to kill a pregnant woman, so instead he comes up with some great excuses as to why he keeps failing. Finally, the narrator of the movie and last member of the team is Ha-yeon (Won Bin); the younger brother of Sang-yeon, he just wants his chance to actually be able to do the shooting, instead of being the support man every time. This movie was perfectly cast. The scenes of the team in their house are terrific, especially when they’re all sitting around watching the pretty newscaster Oh Young-lan on TV. They certainly aren’t the brightest bulbs in the bunch, they’re all funny in their own quirky ways and that just makes the movie even more enjoyable!

The movie is a perfect blend of comedy and action. There’s enough of each to satisfy most people, and more than enough to be thoroughly enjoyable. The action is VERY stylish, and some of the coolest I’ve seen in any movie, period. The Hamlet scene is probably in my top five coolest movie scenes of all time. None of the other action scenes could compare to this one, but were all still really cool. Between the mix of action and comedy, this movie flowed perfectly from beginning to end, and could not have worked better. The funniest elements of Guns & Talks only seem to get funnier with each viewing, as well. Just watch for the Leon reference, hilarious!

One of my favorite elements of this one was the soundtrack. The theme was extremely catchy, and was used quite appropriately in various scenes. Thanks to the music, a couple scenes feel much like an old Saturday morning cartoon. The music during the aforementioned Hamlet scene was also some of the best I’ve heard in a recent movie. It was so good that I had to go out and buy the OST, which is worth every penny!

This one is near perfect, and is easily one of my favorite Korean movies. Do yourself a favor and watch this movie. Then watch it again to fully appreciate it. It will not let you down, and will only get better the more you watch it!

Equinox21’s Rating: 9.5/10


By Joe909

More of a comedy than an action fest, Guns & Talks is a chatty, slightly-too-long “offbeat gangster” flick about a quartet of fashionable hit men. As a matter of fact, at first glance you might figure these guys would be members of a Korean N’Sync, rather than dangerous hit men. They have large, expensive wardrobes, each of them probably spent a ton on their haircuts, and they drive a nice car.

Narrated by the youngest member of the group, an annoying and effeminate Won Bin, Guns & Talks starts off with a hit, as the four work together to take out a few mob bosses. Their assassination methods aren’t of the John Woo variety, however; instead, these guys use poisonous gas and other tricks to kill their targets. Only the sniper resorts to old-fashioned shootings, and in the opening we’re treated to one of those “bullet time” effects as we follow his bullet through the parking lot and to its target.

After that, the plot kicks in, with each of the assassins (save for the sadly-underused sniper) getting his own story. There’s also a police inspector who has it in for the guys, as they murdered his prime witness in a case against a high-level thug. What follows is a multi-leveled story filled with a few comedic moments, lots of dialog, some sappy melodrama, and gorgeous cinematography.

I can’t say that it all works perfectly, though. Like most Korean movies, Guns & Talks is just too long for it’s own good. And I’ve never been one for voice-over narration. You can moan about how “dumbed down” Hollywood is until you’re blue in the face, but I still think Asian movies can even be worse. Guns & Talks is a case in point, as the prettyboy narrator feels that he must explain each and every thing to you in the most minute detail. The ending is a perfect example of this, as the hit men’s boss (Shin Hyun Jun) and the police inspector (Jeong Jin Young) have their final showdown in the local precinct. The inspector refuses to kill or arrest Jun, and any fool with a walnut-sized brain would understand why. However, the narrator spells it out for us, and it just feels cheap and unnecessary.

What keeps this from being an action extravaganza is the fact that the hit men must kill their targets in the exact method desired by their clients. For example, they must blow the left hand off of a target, and on another job they must blow a target up. So there aren’t any gun fights or elaborate action scenes in this movie, which is a shame. There aren’t even that many gadgets, even though these guys have a gadget-making, “Q”-type uncle who whips together devices for them.

The music is probably the most annoying factor in the mix. It blares over the action and dialog at any possible moment. What makes this bad is the fact that the music sounds like rejected elevator muzak. Not sure if any viewers have noticed, but the central theme of Guns & Talks is basically a rip-off of Herbie Hancock’s early ’80s hit “Rockit.” It was stuck in my head for days after I watched the film.

There are good points about the movie, though. For example, during one of the sappier moments, in which Won Bin relates to the other hit men the effects of being in love, he mistakes the other hit men’s laughter for swells of emotion. The payoff for this scene is done very well, because at first we don’t know the others are laughing, and we’re left thinking that the director’s trying to shove this maudlin dialog down our throat. There’s also a cool assassination set-up during a play, but the resolution is terrible. Before the hit, the guys worry over how they’ll escape after they do the job. Yet we never see how they actually do manage to escape.

In the end, Guns & Talks is just an okay movie. It doesn’t have enough action or suspense to thrill action fans. It isn’t consistently funny enough for the comedy fans. It doesn’t have enough drama for the drama fans. It doesn’t have enough romance for the girly-men or the ladies. Actually, it tries to embrace all of these separate genres, but doesn’t manage to gel them together into a coherent, fulfilling whole.

The movie’s a bit too sappy at parts, and the ending is saccharine beyond belief (picture this: an armed hit man walks into a police precinct, shoots a few things, and walks out without a scratch). Some of the plot threads don’t have much of a resolution (such as the surly hit man’s blooming romance with a pregnant, would-be target; the first half of the film makes you think this will be an important part of the story, but the thread is basically dropped halfway through). The comedy doesn’t always work, and the melodrama gets doled out pretty thick; but then again, this seems to be the standard for most Korean movies, and I figure those people who really like them will be expecting this.

Joe909’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Versus (2000) Review

"Versus" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Versus” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Cast: Tak Sakaguchi, Kenji Matsuda, Hideo Sakaki, Chieko Misaka, Yuichiro Arai, Minoru Matsumoto, Ryosuke Watabe, Hoshimi Asai, Yukihito Tanikado
Running Time: 120 min.

By Numskull

Hot damn! Evil Dead and Bad Taste meet in-your-face combat like only those bloodthirsty Asian film makers can do it, God bless ’em, with ample doses of anime and Matrix-style visuals thrown in to let the viewer know, without just coming out and saying it, that this movie is strictly for members of some ill-defined cinematic “in crowd” with enlistment criteria based solely on attitude; all others fuck off.

The plot is so secondary to the action that it’s scarcely worth mentioning, but it has to do with a really annoying girl (when she TALKS, anyway…just standing there, she’s quite likable) with mystical powers who reincarnates every 500 years, this evil undead wizard type guy who wants to exploit those powers, a forest where the dead come back to life, and a prison escapee who runs around kicking everybody’s ass partly because he has to but mostly just because he can. There are two homicidal prison officials, one of whom has recently (as in, VERY recently) lost a hand, tracking him down, and a gang of villains including a vaguely faggoty guy in a necktie who flicks his tongue a lot. These characters don’t have names, so that’s how you’re going to mentally refer to them; “Stumpy”, “Necktie”, etc.

The movie is really little more than a protracted chase and series of battles (with knives, with guns, with swords, and with good old fashioned fists) inside this haunted forest. There’s plenty of visual humor which viewers who are really “into it” will appreciate but which bored girlfriends of gore-hungry guys will probably miss. Nothing as obvious as a pie in the face, but the camera angles and facial expressions frequently make it quite clear that everyone involved in this movie had the time of their lives making it. When our boy swipes the long black leather coat off a dead man’s body and an electric guitar riff pops up out of nowhere, it’s like the movie is saying: “I fucking dare you to say this isn’t cool.” When our boy twirls his sword around and says “Don’t touch my girl, fuckin’ asshole!”, it’s like the movie is saying: “I fucking DOUBLE dare you to say this isn’t cool.” When our boy spits out a wad of his own blood for what seems like the hundredth time, it’s like the movie is saying: “Yeah, okay, that’s getting kind of old, but still, I fucking TRIPLE dare you to say this isn’t cool!”

The point of Versus is not to follow it but simply to WATCH it; there’s a difference. Cast aside your day-to-day troubles for two hours and revel in the carnage.

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10


By Joe909

Finally, I have seen a movie that ranks up there with “Chinese Super Ninjas.” Like that Shaw Brothers classic, Versus has everything: gun-blazing, John Woo action, samurai battles, gravity-defying kung-fu, savage and bloody action, and, instead of ninjas, zombies. And not just your everyday, garden variety zombies: the ones here know how to use the guns they were buried with (which, for some reason, are still operable).

There’s no plot in Versus. But it’s possible you might not even notice. You’ll be too busy keeping up with the action. The story is as basic as you can get: a prisoner (who is known to us only by his number: KSC2-303) is broken out of prison and brought to a remote forest, where he meets up with some yakuza thugs. These thugs proceed to inform him that they’ve been hired to break him out of prison. The yakuza also have a captive young woman, whom the male prisoner demands they release. The yakuza refuse, and so our “hero” blasts the shit out of them. Strangely, the thugs killed in this firefight come back to life. KSC2-303 and the yakuza shoot apart these zombies, and then KC takes the girl and they rush off into the forest. The yakuza follow after, and soon enough more zombies start popping out of the ground. Lots of bloody shenanigans transpire, and then the head yakuza honcho shows up: an immortal, evil wizard who needs both KC and the young woman together to carry out his schemes for world domination. Sounds stupid, but it actually works on screen.

If you see this movie, expect: lots of hard-hitting, “Matrix”-like kung-fu, ferocious gunplay, and campy gore. A lot of dark humor, too. For example, one character, a crazy policeman who’s chasing the main hero, spends the entire movie bemoaning the loss of his right hand. At one point he comes across the person who cut his hand off. “Hey,” he yells, “I want back my hand!” The person who cut the hand off, who is KSC2-303, of course, bends down and picks up a severed hand from the pile of carnage about him. He tosses it to the crazy cop. The cop tries to stick it on his stunted arm, but realizes, “Hey, this is a left hand! I need a right hand!”

Versus, a two hour-long action movie with little plot, is in need of a little editing. Word is it’s been picked up for US distribution, and edits are supposedly going to be made. I think this is a good idea, as the movie could stand to be tighter. It’s very possible that some movie-goers will get sick of the relentless action. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t like a Bruce Le movie: all fights and no story. But still, action takes precedent over plot in this film. But at least it’s great action. And at least every single one of the characters, none of whom have names mind you, are memorable and entertaining.

As of this writing (January 4, 2002), Versus is nearly impossible to find. It was produced in Japan last year, and shown in only a few international festivals. I don’t believe it was even given a wide release in Japan. So far, it hasn’t officially been released in any format. However, a DVD came out several months ago, but this dvd was in fact a bootleg. Same goes for all of the vcds you’ll come across. But no matter, get the movie in any format you can.

I’ll finish this up by saying I’ve never seen a Japanese movie I liked, and I’ve seen a lot of them. I went to school in Tokyo for a while, had a lot of Japanese friends, and rented a lot of Japanese movies. And they were all the same to me: static, plodding, and boring. Japanese movies were like the pretentious, pansy cousins of Hong Kong cinema. But now, finally, Versus ups the bar: it’s got more action than any HK movie I’ve seen in years. The actors are cool and hip without trying to be. The dialog is memorable and the film as a whole doesn’t pander. The music is straight-up rock meets techno, no Cantopop shit. It’s the most enjoyable movie I’ve seen in a long time.

Joe909’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

Branded to Kill (1967) Review

"Branded to Kill" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Branded to Kill” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Seijun Suzuki
Cast: Jo Shishido, Mari Annu, Mariko Ogawa, Koji Nambara, Isao Tamagawa, Hiroshi Minami
Running Time: 91 min.

By Milkcan

I must say I am very glad to have seen this film. Did it make me a better person? No. Did it teach me things about the cinema I never knew? Well, no. But it did, along with “Super Ninjas”, remind me of how much mindless fun movies can be. “Branded To Kill” certainly ranks near the top of the list of guilty pleasures; it’s a gangster film noir directed by Seijun Suzuki, layered with a shade of violent, perverse quirkiness. The story involves the Yakuza’s No. 3 hitman, played by Joe Shishido, who botches an assassination job and ends up on the run for his life. Suzuki took this “cookie-cutter” script (as described by the Criterion Collection DVD release), and blended it with a dark sense of style.

Several “legendary” tales surround “Branded To Kill”: Suzuki would go on to be fired for directing the film the way he did (the studio producing the movie, Nikkatsu, claimed it made no sense). He wasn’t able to direct a film for 10 years. The main star, Joe Shishido, altered the look of his face for the part by having his cheekbones raised through surgery. Yes, surgery. And there is also the story of how the filmmakers avoided trouble with censorship laws by utilizing several clever techniques during the movie’s more risque sequences. The end product of these efforts and consequences? One of the most enjoyable and cool cult classics out of Japan!

This is not a yakuza picture with characters you feel for or even cheer for: people in the film range from cold-blooded killers, sexpots, drunks, necrophiles, and those with a fetish for the smell of rice. The actors and actresses chosen to play these parts couldn’t have been better. The gangsters can stir up some laughter; their dialogue consists of conversations about the different rankings of hitmen, who is in the top 5, the mysterious No. 1 killer, and how the life a hitman leads can take it’s toll. I particularly liked how Suzuki, through the use of hallucinations, made it apparent that these killers live in a world where everything, and anyone, is of suspicion. Above all, “Branded To Kill” has style going for it. The dark lighting and the full use of the Cinemascope bring out an unusual, intoxicating, gritty atmosphere. The film’s environments consist of various places throughout the mega-city, but are given a unique twist with some bizarre imagery. Creative camera angles, up-close shots, wide-screen shots, and shadows all excentuate the violent, sexual, and gothic artistry of the scenes. Also on note are the action sequences, which play out beautifully. They’re smart, well-thought of, bone-crushing, and nicely choreographed. To top it off, the musical score suits the film perfectly; the theme song can’t be beaten and the background music is decadent, haunting, and reminiscent of a Western.

The bottom line: “Branded To Kill” is a stylish and weird pulp masterpiece that belongs on everyone’s recommended viewing list.

Milkcan’s Rating: 10/10


By Slaxor

To paraphrase a famous quote “LSD is one hell of a powerful drug”.

I love this movie. It’s not perfect, but what parts I do love about it are.

So what’s not perfect? The middle portion. It just drags on for probably about 10-15 minutes too long.

The movie can be broke down in to three sections.

1) Our star, the No.3 Killer, goes around doing jobs and offing people – like the swank motherfucker he is – in creative ways that I still haven’t seen done to this day.

2) Our star runs in to a bit of trouble and a tripped-out love story unfolds; after it’s done unfolding and perfectly is developed, it just kinda sits there and ends up a little longer then I would have liked.

3) The question is raised, ‘Who is numbah 1?’ and the journey to find out is on.

After seeing this movie with a buddy, who was the only person out of a group to survive the middle portion, we would answer the phone when either of us called each other with the line “Who is numbah 1?” everytime, for about a month or two after seeing this. If you’ve seen the movie you would fully understand this and also get a little giggle out of it.

I would follow the trend and give this a perfect ten, but I’m docking a point for the dragged out middle portion.

Slaxor’s Rating: 9/10


By Woody

Brutal eroticism, dark humour, great action scenes, beautiful B&W cinematography, one of the coolest leading men EVER, and an absolute lack of dimensions like time and space make this one of the best, yet most puzzling, films I have ever come across.

Describing the plot of this film is pointless. Any plot description would make this sound like a generic Yakuza flick. If anything, this is not a generic movie. If David Lynch, Jean-Luc Godard, and John Woo got together to collaborate on a movie, the result would be something along the lines of this bizarre masterpiece, only not as strange.

Jo Shishido stars as Hanada Goro, one of the coolest, most fucked in the head character’s I have ever come across. Hanada, the Yakuza’s “No. 3 Killer” seemingly has it all: a bizarre rice fetish, a nymphomaniac wife, a nice pad, and an easy job. Things start unravelling, though, when he takes a job from a young gothic woman, in which he has three seconds to shoot his mark. He misses and hits a woman, and a contract is put out on him. Upon returning home, Hanada is shot by his always-nude wife and left for dead, as his house burns around him. Escaping, he goes to the apartment of the gothic girl, and…describing any more would be a fulltime job. It all culminates between a greatly staged showdown between Hanada and the Yakuza’a “No. 1 Killer”. I think.

This is a dreamlike, surreal masterpiece. Dead butterflies, bizarre, well-staged action, great music, nudity, rough sex, a rice fetish, pissing down a sock into a shoe, Shishido’s collagen cheek implants, butterflies landing on rifle barrels, some more sex, a gothic chick in Japan in 1967, a dead bird handing from a car mirror, and an absolute disregard for the rules of cinema make this one of my favorite films.

This film is perhaps best known as the film that got Seijun Suzuki sacked from Nikkatsu Studios, who told him that the film “didn’t make sense” and accused him of “uncommercial and unprofitable film making”. After winning a case against them, for violation of his contract, Suzuki was blacklisted and no one would produce or show his films. Thankfully, Suzuki was able to rebound and bring us such classics as “Zigeunerweisen”, “Mirage Theater”, and “Yumeji”.

Suzuki is one of the true masters of cinema. His direction and planning is so good that the bizarre, outrageous excess of the film eventually starts to make sense, in it’s own twisted way. The action scenes, the love scenes, everything is well filmed and well edited, and shows that Suzuki wasn’t on psychotropic drugs when he made this film. No folks, this is how he intended the it to be.

All in all, if you are looking for something different, this is the film for you. It’s funny, it’s troubling, it’s strange, and will leave you with a bit of a headache, but you won’t regret it. Worth owning.

Woody’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

Black Belt | aka Kuro-Obi (2007) Review

"Black Belt" International Theatrical Poster

“Black Belt” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Shunichi Nagasaki
Cast: Akihito Yagi, Tatsuya Naka, Yuji Suzuki, Fuyuhiko Nishi, Kenji Anan, Takeshi Bito, Arashi Fukasawa, Rei Hanaoka, Atsushi Hida, Yu Kamio, Takayasu Komiya
Running Time: 120 min.

By Jeff Bona 

After their karate master passes away, two of his best students take opposite directions in life. Giryu (Akihito Yagi), chooses a more philosophical approach, practicing his master’s passive, yet effective, teachings on karate. Taikan (Tatsuya Naka), follows a more savage path, fueled by what he believes karate is all about. The two clash and duel it out, but only one will be their master’s successor and inherit his Black Belt.

If you ever decide to check this movie out, try not to watch it back-to-back with any other martial arts movies. If you do, Black Belt will expose just how light, unrealistic and cartoony those titles really are – all 99% of them.

If you’re looking for some over-the-top Tony Jaa/Jackie Chan/Jet Li type stuff, you won’t find it here. There are no guys flying around on wires, nobody flipping around on moving vehicles, and not a single elephant to walk on; The choreography in Black Belt consists of fights that appear to be as natural and realistic as they possibly could for the camera. As cut and dry as the sequences are, they’re so intense that you can feel the power.

The non-action segments of the film are simple and straightforward. I’m not the biggest Japanese film conessiur, but a similar title that comes to mind would be Kitano Takeshi’s Hana-Bi (aka Fireworks). They both have a calm, somewhat generic, but beautiful, feel to them. But low and behold, when it’s time for some violence, the viewer WILL notice.

One thing’s for sure, that scene in Fists of Fury – where Bruce Lee walks into a dojo full of karate men and kicks their asses with no problem – will never feel the same again.

Martial arts movies aren’t supposed to be this good.

Jeff Bona’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews |

Battle Royale 2: Requiem (2003) Review

"Battle Royale 2: Requiem" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Battle Royale 2: Requiem” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Kinji Fukasaku
Co-director: Kenta Fukasaku
Cast: Tatsuya Fujiwara, Aki Maeda, Shugo Oshinari, Ayana Sakai, Riki Takeuchi, Natsuki Kato, Ai Iwamura, Masaya Kikawada, Aki Maeda, Takeshi Kitano, Sonny Chiba
Running Time: 134 min.

By Equinox21

When good ideas go bad. Ok, so I can understand the point of Battle Royale. I loved the first movie. It made sense (in a sadistic sort of way) to have hooligan kids killing each other off. Fine. No problem. But why would they then, for the sequel, dress the kids up as soldiers, give them all assault rifles and send them in, under threat of collar-induced-head-explody, to kill Shuya Nanahara and his “terrorist” element of previous survivors of Battle Royale? It made no logical sense.

BRII was an excuse to show more kids getting shot and blubbering to each other about secret crushes and high school love in their death throes. Of course, after the initial idea fails, to kill Shuya the military sends in hundreds of actual soldiers. Well, that’s all fine and dandy; however, why not just nuke the island? It’s not as though they weren’t planning on killing everyone there anyway. Instead they sacrificed scores of highly trained soldiers in the assault against the untrained kids. Huh? Why??

I don’t know what Kinji Fukasaku was thinking when he decided to make a sequel. A sequel to Battle Royale wasn’t a bad idea in and of itself, however, what they decided to do with the story was. Turning Shuya from a troubled teen into a terrorist mastermind in 3 short years was simply too far fetched (even for the world of the BR movies) to be truly enjoyable.

The best thing about the movie was the character of Kitano’s daughter. I thought that was a very cool addition to the movie and to the story. It really tied the two movies together far better than what they did with Shuya.

Overall, stay away from BRII if you enjoyed the first one. It will only spoil your impression of the originality of BR. And, if you DO watch BRII, try not to laugh too hard at the absurd overacting of Riki Takeuchi playing a character named… Riki Takeuchi.

Equinox21’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Battlefield Baseball (2003) Review

"Battlefield Baseball" International Theatrical Poster

“Battlefield Baseball” International Theatrical Poster

AKA: Battlefield Stadium
Director: Yudai Yamaguchi
Producer: Ryuhei Kitamura
Cast: Tak Sakaguchi, Atsushi Ito, Hideo Sakaki, Shôichirô Masumoto, Akiko Mishiro
Running Time: 87 min.

By Equinox21

Without knowing anything about the movie Battlefield Baseball, I decided to pick it up (a bootleg, unfortunately, as it’s the only format that’s affordable) only because it was a re-teaming of actor Tak Sakaguchi and producer Ryuhei Kitamura of Versus fame. I was expecting another bloody action packed extravaganza, starring Tak as Jubeh kicking ass and taking names. Well, it’s not exactly that, at all. In fact, it’s about as different from Versus as you can get, while still embodying a similar feel.

While Versus is an action movie through and through, Battlefield Baseball is a total slapstick comedy, complete with song and dance (pretty miserably sung by Tak, I might add). The plot involves a high school team that gets slaughtered by a rival team that doesn’t PLAY Baseball… it FIGHTS Baseball. Jubeh transfers to the losing High School and is convinced to pick up the sport he gave up years earlier, after his powerful pitch accidentally killed his father. Jubeh becomes the savior of the team, which is then reduced to whoever can be scraped up to fill the ranks, as the regular players have all been killed in horrible, nasty ways by the evil, zombie-like high school team (who all look like Clive Barker creations).

BB is more like a live action anime movie than any other film I’ve ever seen. The characters (especially the evil ones who are all painted blue) are so animated and over the top that it wouldn’t have shocked me if they had actually been ANIMATED. But, alas, it was only a hokey, live action movie that was reminiscent of something you might see in anime form. The comedy doesn’t really work for the most part, but there were a few scenes that had me chuckling.

Don’t get Battlefield Baseball expecting another Versus or Azumi. That was my mistake. Even though I enjoyed it, it’s a completely different movie from Versus and Azumi. Tak Sakaguchi still rules, and I’ll still check out anything that Ryuhei Kitamura is involved in, and even though it was amusing, Battlefield Baseball is, unfortunately, not one of either of their best efforts.

Equinox21’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged |

Eye, The 2 (2004) Review

"The Eye 2" US DVD Cover

“The Eye 2” US DVD Cover

Director: Oxide Pang
Co-director: Danny Pang
Cast: Shu Qi, Eugenia Yuan Lai-Kai, Jesdaporn Pholdee, Phillip Kwok Chun-Fung, Rayson Tan
Running Time: 98 min.

By Raging Gaijin

I have good memories of “The Eye”. I saw in the theatre many years ago but I remember it being an altogether absorbing and chilling horror film. Angelica Lee gave a solid performance, the Pang Brothers’ directing was stylish without being overbearing, and it had the scariest opening credits sequence I have ever seen. And, while it may be because it was one of the first Asian horror movies I’d viewed, it seemed fairly original. Yeah, it owes a lot to “The Sixth Sense” but at least there weren’t any long-haired ghosts with glaring eyes crawling out of electonical devices. In short, “The Eye” is what I would consider Asian horror done right.

Alright, everything I just said about “The Eye”? Throw that out the window because “The Eye 2” is the polar opposite of its predecessor. The direction of the Pang Brothers is as stylish as ever, but this is just a sequel that did not even need to be made. “The Eye” had a definite sense of closure about it and, really, “The Eye 2” has very little to do with the original film. Everything about it screams ‘We did this for money!’ right down to the casting of global superstar Shu Qi in the lead. No offense to Shu Qi: she is more than adequate in the lead role, but not even her presence could save this movie.

I think the main problem lies in Shu Qi’s character. She’s a depressed and suicidal young woman. The only proactive things she does in this movie is try to kill herself during the first ten minutes, seek help from a janitor, and then try to kill herself again at the end of the movie. In other words, she’s a victim. She’s a character who lets everything happen to her and her reaction is usually to just pass out. In fact, she passes out and then wakes up in the hospital at least three or four times during the entire 98 minutes of the film. It gets old really fast. This is not to say that you *can’t* write a compelling story about a depressed and suicidal person… but these screenwriters didn’t. There comes a point when you have to make your main protagonist actually do something in retaliation against the forces assailing them. It’s honestly hard to care for Shu Qi’s character when she spends most of the movie crying, screaming, or in the hospital. Shu Qi herself performs all these scenes with aplomb but it just doesn’t matter: this not the kind of person you base a movie around.

The rest of “The Eye 2” is filled with the familiar Asian horror clichés and “Sixth Sense” retreads. Shu Qi sees dead people, some of which are Asian women with long black hair who float through the air. The movie’s most original aspect is its take on reincarnation. I always thought that Buddhists had a rather positive take on the subject but in “The Eye 2” it’s not altogether pleasant. It seems that when women are pregnant, the dead soul of someone waiting to be reincarnated hovers beside them until they were ready to give birth. As they’re about to deliver their child, the ghost will *swim up the birth canal and into the womb* to be reincarnated within the baby. So, yeah, this is original…but it also looks absolutely ridiculous on film! Imagine a CGI-ghost floating through the air and then straight up a pregnant woman’s legs. Yeah, it’s just plain silly and it completely ruins the dread-filled tone the Pang Brothers are going for.

It’s a shame too, because I like the Pang Brothers. I’ve liked them since I saw “Bangkok Dangerous”. I think they’re both talented filmmakers and I’ll continue to watch their films, but they completely missed the mark with “The Eye 2”, which feels like a slapped-together attempt to cash in on the success of the first one. I’d recommend you avoid it unless you’re a die-hard fan of Shu Qi (or you just want to see her vomit, which she does at least twice here). Unfortunately, “The Eye 2” is just another nail in the coffin of Asian horror, which is swiftly becoming a tired and clichéd genre.

Raging Gaijin’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , , , |

Eye, The (2002) Review

"The Eye" US DVD Cover

“The Eye” US DVD Cover

Director: Oxide Pang
Co-director: Danny Pang
Cast: Angelica Lee, Lawrence Chow, So Yut Lai, Candy Lo Hau-Yam, Ko Yin Ping, Edmond Chen, Ben Yuen, Winson Yip, Chutcha Rujihanon, Pierre Png

Running Time: 98 min.

By Numskull

Much like the well-intentioned but underwhelming Inner Senses, The Eye stays a healthy distance away from the camp where past Hong Kong horror films have traditionally spent their summer vacations and attempts to capture the tension and dread typical of newer Japanese films in this category. Alas, it falls short of its mark. It’s certainly better than the dinky little Kiddie Koaster, but can’t match the thrills offered by the roller coasters that the big kids ride (and wait three and a half hours in line for).

We’ve got Angelica Lee as Mun, a woman with bony Carrie-Anne Moss shoulders who has been blind since age two. She undergoes a corneal transplant with the elder Dr. Lo to restore her vision, then begins to see ghosts and flickers of an unfamiliar place while at home. But, since the sensation of seeing is new to her and she doesn’t quite trust her new eyesight yet, she does not fully realize that these are supernatural phenomena. At least, not at first. Eventually, the movie shows us so damn many phantoms, apparitions, revenants, and what have you while advancing the rest of the plot at a snail’s pace that the only horrified cries from the audience will be along the lines of: “Okay. She sees ghosts. WE GET IT!!!”

At long last, the younger Dr. Lo, the specialist who has been helping Mun get acquainted with her new fifth sense, assists her in tracking down the cornea donor to get some answers. Off to Thailand they go, and the facts they learn about the previous owner of Mun’s peepers are more disturbing than the visions she’s encountered thus far.

And so on.

The Eye isn’t a bad film, but, all things considered, I wasn’t impressed. The big problem is that it has very tough competition in Japan’s crop of horror movies from the last few years and it’s hard not to make unfortunate comparisons. It doesn’t have Ringu’s tick-tock impending doom; nor Kairo’s quiet, bizarre otherworldliness; nor Kakashi’s smothering sense of isolation; nor Ju-On’s primal, jolt-a-minute rawness. What it does have is one very effective scene involving an elevator, a fact-based ending that scores a few points for ballsiness, and a premise with more potential than was utilized. That’s about it. I won’t make the absurd generalization that Hong Kong can’t make a good horror film, because the potential is certainly there. Keep trying, people.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , , , |

Pee Hua Kurd | aka The Beheaded (2002) Review

"Pee Hua Kurd" Thai DVD Cover

"Pee Hua Kurd" Thai DVD Cover

Director: Komsan Tripong
Cast: Thep Phongarm, Theng Therdtherng, Thanisorn Satayamongkol, Note Chernyim, Noppawan Srinikorn, Jaturong Mokjok, Chanis Yaisamer
Running Time: 120 min.

By Numskull

This limp-wristed Thai film (all three of it) seems to be afflicted with the cinematic equivalent of multiple personality disorder. It starts off with a ten minute, Mr. Vampiresque segment in which a sorcerer named Master Gorey visits a graveyard with his three bumbling fuckwit assistants: Puag (cross-eyed), Koa (hard of hearing), and Muek (irritable bowel syndrome). He accidentally summons a small army of zombies and one of his underlings ends up having to have snake venom sucked out of one of his butt cheeks. This was done previously in Corey Yuen’s “High Risk”, but it’s funnier here. All in all, this opening sequence promises a good amount of amusement in the upcoming 110 minutes. The rest of the film’s failure to keep that promise can only be described as “spectacular”.

For the next hour and change we are subjected to a dull and meandering story about Diew, a wandering good guy who shows up in this little town looking for a “Mr. Groan”, his late father’s kick boxing teacher. The town is run by Chief Khem and Mr. Yang. The former has a son named Maad who beats people up for not paying protection money and always wins the yearly festival’s boxing competition; the latter has a son named Mompong who always wins the buffalo race at the same festival. Naturally, it’s up to Diew to defy the powers that be and win the heart of Tuptim, the local beauty, while he’s at it. However, that stuff has to wait until after Diew meets up with Master Gorey (aka Mr. Groan, big surprise) and bails Puag, Muek and Koa out of the trouble they keep landing themselves in. Nothing remarkable here except for the fact that the hero has an infuriating, high-pitched, girly voice that makes you wish the bad guys would come along and chop his head off.

And you know what? They do. Oh, don’t look so shocked. That’s Diew’s severed head grinning at you on the DVD package. Besides, what the hell did you expect from a movie called “The Beheaded”?

So, Diew and his trusty buffalo are killed in an ambush and subsequently framed for murder. Such a shame, he won the boxing match, he won the buffalo race, he seemed like such a nice boy, his voice could cut glass in cold weather, blah blah blah. Maad abducts Piptin and her friend Sa, and since Master Gorey and his trio of dipshits can’t do much about it, Diew comes back from the dead to wreak bloody revenge upon all of the villains. Even his buffalo rises from the grave, hell-bent on goring every evildoer in sight. Obviously, the buffalo is the coolest character in the film. Even more obviously, this is the movie’s other big tone shift; the supernatural element makes a big comeback, especially when Gorey has a sorcerers’ duel with a villainous mystic. Gone, though, is the outright buffoonery of the now distant opening scene. The Beheaded scores some points for being unique, but very few for overall entertainment value. When the most likable character is a large, hoofed mammal, you know you’ve got problems. The lackluster fight scenes and sappy romance aspect are impossible to ignore. Only the opening, which is like a mini-movie in and of itself, is truly worth your time.

Numskull’s Rating: 4/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai |

Tom Yum Goong | aka The Protector (2005) Review

"Tom Yum Goong" Thai Theatrical Poster

“Tom Yum Goong” Thai Theatrical Poster

AKA: Warrior King
Director: Prachya Pinkaew
Cast: Tony Jaa, Petchtai Wongkamlao, Xing Jing, Johnny Nguyen, Nathan Jones, Bongkoj Khongmalai, David Asavanond, Dean Alexandrou, Lateef Crowder, Damian De Montemas, Don Ferguson, Jon Foo, Ron Smoorenburg
Running Time: 110 min.

By Kioko

I’ve been a martial arts fan for over 20 years now. So from the Bruce Lee films, to Jackie Chan, to Jet Li, I have seen most of these trend setting films for the genre and have a deep appreciation for them. Right now Tony Jaa is unmatched, and will be for sometime now. No one can touch him. Tom Yum Goong confirms Tony Jaa as the next in line for the martial arts film genre. It’s simply outstanding!

Tony Jaa makes no apology for his brutal, creative, fresh style. He has the intensity of Bruce Lee, the choreographic genius of Jackie Chan, and the Rise-to-Stardom success of Jet Li. With all it’s predecessors in mind. This movie has things that have never been done before. Muy Thai boxing is taken to yet another authentic level. What’s more impressive is it’s practical yet entertaining use of it. Vs. Capoeria – an African Brazillian martial art form never before seen on film, Wu Shu Kung Fu, Pro Wrestling, and the historical Warrior(Elephant) Thai Boxing.

The camera is forgiving, pulling back for us to see what is going on. And the story, although quite simple, is more intricate than people give credit for It’s probably best to know Thai and Chinese – yet the English Dialogue keeps you somewhat informed. The theme of the boy’s relationship with the Elephant continues through the film, with a nice way of brining it together at the end. No complaints about a dragging storyline, the quick fade to blacks and cut to next scenes moved it right along for me.

You cannot be considered a martial arts film fan until you see this movie.

Kioko’s Rating: 10/10


By Yi Long

Saw Tom Yoon Gung in the theatre on opening’s day: GREAT FLICK. If you thought Ong-Bak was good, TYG is at least twice as good, action-wise. Looks like Tony has listened to all the criticism that was aimed at his first movie, and really did something about it.

I’m sure most of you are already familiar with the story so I won’t waste my limited online time discussing it… (Story is so-so, treating Sidney like it’s only a few square miles big, since the characters keep running into each other…)

The first fight-scene is in Thailand where Tony goes to battle with the gangsta’s responsible for kidnapping his elephants. Very hard, kick-ass action, although it only lasts maybe a couple of minutes, it’s pretty sweet and raw. It’s followed by a boat-chase scene which is OK, and has a funny moment in it as well when the boat jumps through a billboard… but the ending CGI (I think it was CGI) was a lil’ unconvincing; not that it really bothered me.

After the boat scene Tony heads to Sidney, where he quickly runs into the gang responsible for importing his stolen elephants. After a brief street light on/near the pier, in which he gets kicked around a bit, he enters the warehouse where the gang is, and has a Jackie Chan-style gang-fight, taking on tons of opponent who come in on bikes and skates; with Tony jumping and hopping through and making use of the environment, and it’s totally kick-ass. Tony outdoes Jackie here. There’s also a nice Dragons Forever style shot, where he makes a backflip which is filmed from above (Remember the Yuen Biao flip in Dragons Forever?) where he takes out a guy on a motorcycle. Anyway, the action is really sweet.

After that scene there’s some story blahblah…

Anyway, there’s a big scene where he enters the restaurant and Tony tries to outdo the brilliant one-shot, one-take John Woo (Hard Boiled) action scene, in which he moves through the building, taking out MANY bad guys, without a cut, which is really impressive since there are some heavy falls and some stunts etc involved. The fight sequences are pretty basic which is understandable, considering the complicity of the whole scene. Very VERY impressive, and extremely ambitious for such a young film-maker. Really shows he cares for giving his fans something special and new… which is great news of course

When he’s at the top of the building, the camera finally cuts and we get a very nice fight between Tony and a chinese guy, who is kind like the ringleader. He has some good skills, although he keeps doing the same (very nice looking) move a bunch of times…

First Tony gets kicked around a bit, then he gets angry and starts beating up ‘Johnny’ or whatever his name was… and a few henchmen join the fight. Good fight.

Story blahblah…

Burning buddhist temple, sprinkler has sprayed the ground FULL of water. First fight is between Tony and a black Capouira guy. Extremely impressive fight. One of the best in martial arts movie history, considering the moves and the water. Cinematography is very good.

It’s followed by a wushu guy with sword. Also pretty good, don’t really remember much of it but that’s cause I’m usually not that interested in weapon fights.

After that fight, the big TROY dude comes in, using the ancient martial art called Bob-Sapp-Do, which consists of storming forward, grabbing, and using haymaker etc. don’t remember much of that either, except Tony scarring the guys forehead with the Ong-Bak move where he jumps on the guy’s shoulders and the using both elbows on his head…

In the end-fight he takes on a zillion guys in black suits (no idea why they were in the building btw…), including a really really short cameo by Ron Smoorenburg, where he (Tony) uses Hapkido style grab-and-breaks, which is kind like Jet’s first fight in Fist of Legend (although I probably like Jet’s fight better simply because it’s a lil bit ‘cooler’, although I’m being very biased here of course, and this fight in TYG is MUCH longer and more impressive action- and choreography wise…

After the zillion guys, the TROY guy returns, aided by his two brothers Huey and Louie … plus the main bad villainess (haven’t really mentioned that transvestite before… mainly cause there wasn’t a need for it…) who uses a whip and a leather suit. It’s OK. I really don’t care much for these kind of fights where the main villains lack martial arts skills, since it kind limits the choreography.

Anyway, action of the movie was GREAT. Sadly, the version I saw didn’t have English subs (Gee, I wonder why…). Story-wise it was pretty basic, but I guess we’re all kind expecting that from these movies anyway. There are a bunch of plotholes (like ‘Johnny’ returning just to kill the main bad white guy, then never even returns in the movie…), and it’s a shame that the soundtrack isn’t anywhere as special or memorable as Ong-Bak’s.

There’s also a very bad CGI scene where they tell about the ancient warriors using that martial art he does; it’s really REALLY bad.

Really looking forward to seeing it again, though I’m sure it will be a while considering the @#%$ that has been going on with Ong-Bak thus far…

So, What we have here is a movie that in terms of budget and ambition is a lot bigger then Ong-Bak. We see real progress in what Tony is giving us, having listened to the criticisms of his first movie, notably that it had no real impressive villains, and that he used the slow-mo replay too often, and fixed it. The story is truly one big fucking mess, but as an action show-piece, this is fucking entertaining and impressive, and seeing Tony really giving his fans what they want, can only make you very excited about his future
projects!

Yi Long’s Rating: Verdict: 8/10; Crappy story, Amazing action-sequences: Must-see flick if you’re into action!

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , , , |

Nang Nak (1999) Review

"Nang Nak" Spanish Theatrical Poster

"Nang Nak" Spanish Theatrical Poster

AKA: Return from the Dead, Nang Nak: Ghost Wife
Director: Nonzee Nimibutr
Writer: Wisit Sartsanatieng
Cast: Indhira Jaroenpura, Winai Kraibutr, Pramote Suksatit, Pracha Thawongfia, Manit Meekaewjaroen
Running Time: 101 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

Nang Nak is the story of Nak (Indhira Jaroenpura), a pregnant woman whose husband, Mak (Winai Kraibutr), is sent off to fight in a war. While he’s away, she gives birth with strange complications. Months later, after recuperating from a serious war injury, Mak returns and is reunited with Nak. However, things are not what they seem. Neighbors begin to turn up dead and friends begin to warn Mak about his “wife”. Does he listen? Of course not.

Nang Nak won four awards at the 1999 Pan Asian Film Festival, including one for Best Picture. Kind of makes you wonder if the judges were blind and deaf? Okay, maybe not blind, but certainly deaf. Nang Nak is full of beautiful camera work, exotic locales, and lavish costume/set design. Kudos to some of the visual effects. Those dead people sure looked dead and Plastic Man’s cameo was pretty impressive; But this is where the fun stops, folks.

Nang Nak really never goes anywhere. It’s boring, drawn out and is never scary. It’s 101 minutes long, but would have worked better as a short film. If you like Mark Dacascos lookalikes and Thai wenches with dyke-haircuts, then this Bud’s for you.

My best advice: Skip Nang Nak and visit your favorite Thai Restaurant instead. Tell the hostess Miss Nak sent you, and maybe you’ll get some free shit out of it. By the way, the story of Nang Nak is based on a well-known Thai legend (you know, like Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster and The Bible).

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 3/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai |

Last Life in the Universe (2003) Review

"Last Life in the Universe" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Last Life in the Universe” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Pen-Ek Ratanaruang
Writer: Pen-Ek Ratanaruang, Prabda Yoon
Cast: Tadanobu Asano, Sinitta Boonyasak, Laila Boonyasak, Yutaka Matsushige, Riki Takeuchi, Takashi Miike, Yoji Tanaka, Sakichi Sat
Running Time: 112 min.

By Alexander

Comparisons between Pen-Ek Ratanaruang’s Last Life in the Universe and Wong Kar Wai’s Chungking Express are inevitable: both are photographed by Christopher Doyle; both are studies of quirky characters; both explore the relationships of disparate yet similarly lonely men and women who meet under unusual circumstances. However, aside from a shared DP and few similarities in pacing and plot, Last Life in the Universe is but a shadow of the richness and fun that is Chungking Express.

The first half hour held promise. We’re introduced to a quiet, obsessive compulsive, suicidal and lonely man named Kenji, a librarian. Tadanobus Asano (in a complete 180 from his role as Ichi) effectively tempers the seriousness of his role with an appealing blend of bumble and earnestness. He manages to make being a total square attractive. Asano’s performance, coupled with Doyle’s cinematography, make for an enjoyable and intriguing introduction.

But when Kenji meets Thai native Noi (Sinitta Boonyasak), a sexy, chain-smoking bar hostess the film stumbles and never recovers. The circumstance in which they meet for the first time is novel and well-filmed, but the ramifications of their meeting are nil. Nothing happens. He cleans her house. They watch television. They eat. They talk in a combination of Japanese and English. They… well, that’s about it. Not an ounce of chemistry between the two. Not an iota of growth in Kenji, despite his introduction to a world completely alien to his own.

Ultimately, the film looks great, and Asano-as-bookworm is interesting to watch. But if you’re looking for a film with energy, intrigue and even an ounce of passion, I’d recommend looking elsewhere.

Or just watch Chungking Express again (THAT never gets old, does it?).

Alexander’s Rating: 6/10


By Ningen

The commercial was the main reason for me to check this Thai flick out, but it had better editing and pacing than the actual film. Tadonobu Asano plays a nerdy suicidal yakuza named Kenji who runs into a working girl of Thai descent named Noi (Played sufficiently, but not impressively by Sinitta Boonyasak.) who’s trying to cut ties with her thuggish beau. The two leads both lose their siblings, due to uncontrolled circumstances, and manage to slowly bond as a result, despite the language barrier. The pair rely on Engrish for the majority of the film in order to communicate, whenever their limited Japanese and Thai fail them. The majority of the film also consists of them eating and watching old-school Thai films, among other things. In other words, nothing happens until the end, when the Thai and Japanese gangsters go after the couple.

Unfortunately, like Tarantino, the director for Last Life wasn’t very good at filming action sequences, so he comes up with a vague and unsatisfying ending to keep the film’s dark atmosphere, just when the situation was looking up. And like the Asian cast in Kill Bill, the talent is wasted in this film. For some reason, the main characters are underdeveloped, while the gangsters are given more dimension, even though Asano and Boonyasak are more appealing than the criminals. And Christopher Doyle’s masterful camerawork is either overused on unimportant scenes and settings. So, in conclusion, I consider Last Life in the Universe an example of wasted potential.

Ningen’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , |

Jan Dara (2001) Review

"Jan Dara" Korean DVD Cover

"Jan Dara" Korean DVD Cover

Director: Nonzee Nimibutr
Producer: Peter Chan, Jo Jo Yuet-Chun Hui, Duangkamol Limcharoen, Nonzee Nimibutr
Cast: Christy Chung Lai-Tai, Santisuk Promsiri, Eakarat Sarsukh, Wipawee Charoenpura, Pathawaran Timkul
Running Time: 113 min.

By T-Style

Ah, the long awaited film for whoever that wanted to see some celebrity tits. To make it more clear for those who aren’t familiar of this film, three words: Christy Chung’s Tits. Before watching this film, I haven’t read any review for this and had no expectations at all which is not needed if all I intended to see was some tits. For those who are pondering weather this big fuss about Christy tits is just a quick half a second glimpse or not since that’s what I assumed, well it ain’t. Intercourse, intercourse and some more intercourse. Lets just say, it was a good amount of screen time for them titties. I hope that wasn’t a spoiler. A spoiler would be telling someone about a porno that the guy didn’t climax in the climax which would be a funny climax.

Let me set aside all my nasty thoughts of this movie and stop being a pervert. No, I can’t. The whole movie was about sex. This is the American Pie of Thailand. But of course, with a deeper story and better acting. The movie is about a kid name Jan. His father has this never ending hatred toward Jan due to his mothers death right after Jan’s birth which leads to the dads theory that he’s a curse, a burden of the family or something. The majority of the movie shows how Jan deals with his dad and at the same time, enjoying a shitload of sex when the new neighbor comes along played by actress Christy Chung. A coming of age sex drama that you shouldn’t watch with yo mama.

Even without Christy’s appearance straight after the title appears, the movie still hold my interest for quite some time. Maybe cuz it’s rare seeing a 5 year old watching his dad fuck as a credit opener. Maybe I’m just a sick fuck that’s into sick shit. Sadly, even with all the fucking here and there, three-fourths into the movie gets quite pointless but tolerable which works it way into a disappointing ending. Disappointing endings don’t always necessarily mean a bad movie though.

Without Christy Chung, this movie would have no selling point. It would have been just something softcore outta the porn section on the shelf, watching some old dude fuck his endless troops of Thai maids. Watching the old dude’s son fuck Thai maids. Watching old dude son’s friend fuck Thai maids. Oh? What’s this?! Christy Chung getting banged? Yeah, there ya go.

T-Style’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged |

Quiet Family, The (2002) Review

"The Quiet Family" Korean Theatrical Poster

“The Quiet Family” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Kim Ji Woon
Cast: Park In-Hwan, Na Moon-Hee, Choi Min-sik, Song Kang-ho, Go Ho-Kyung, Choi Cheol-ho
Running Time: 105 mins.

By Equinox21

Welcome to The Misty Inn Where guests check in, but they don’t check out! And, as the saying goes, the family that kills together stays together. The Quiet Family is a movie about a group of people who make such stupid decisions and are so dysfunctional you just want to scream, but in you just end up laughing at the absurdity of their situation.

The movie starts off with the family taking over the Misty Inn, located near a hiking trail but no paved roads, so it gets very few visitors. The family consists of the father, Kang Taegoo (Park In-hwan), the mother, Mrs. Kang (Na Mun-hee), the uncle (Choi Min-sik [Shiri, Chihwaseon]), the son, Yeongmin (Song Kang-ho [JSA, Foul King]), and the two daughters, Mina (Go Ho-kyeong) and Misoo (Lee Yun-seong). After a few weeks of absolutely no guests visiting the inn, one strange man finally shows up. And of course, during the night, he kills himself. When the family finds him in the morning, they are afraid that if the police investigate they’ll be accused of murdering him, so they bury him in the woods. Following this is more guests checking in and dying in various ways, some are morbid but some are downright hilarious.

This movie is the epitome of a black comedy. Never have I laughed so hard at such blatant disregard for human life. Seeing the family get itself into one sticky situation after another and making one stupid decision after another only makes this a darker movie, because with every bad decision they inevitably end up with more bodies.

The acting all around was very good, but of course Song Kang-ho steals the show, yet again. That guy will instantly make any movie better! Choi Min-sik also shines as the uncle. This was the first movie of his that I’ve seen where he did any sort of comedy, and he pulled it off well. The soundtrack was enjoyable as well, until the song “I Think I Love You” came on over the ending credits.

The Quiet Family is a great black comedy that most people should enjoy. It’s not too gory, but there is a high body count. The movie isn’t perfect, there are a few plot points that don’t get resolved by the end, but it’s still enjoyable nonetheless.

Equinox21’s Rating: 8/10 (subtracted points for unresolved plot points, added points for a funny movie, and Song Kang-ho’s performance)

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , |