7-Man Army (1976) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"7-Man Army" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“7-Man Army” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Seven Man Army
Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: David Chiang, Ti Lung, Alexander Fu Sheng, Gordon Liu, Chen Kuan Tai, Lee I Min, Chi Kuan Chun, Pai Ying, Ting Wa Chung, Leung Kar-Yan, Johnny Wang, Miu Tin, Fung Ngai, Chen Ming Li, Chan Wai Lau
Running Time: 114 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

7-Man Army tells the story of seven Chinese soldiers (Ti Lung, Alexander Fu Sheng, Chen Kuan-Tai, David Chiang and… sorry, I can’t name the other three) who defend a fortress against thousands of Japanese troops and Mongolian mercenaries (led by Leung Kar-Yan, Gordon Liu and Wang Lung-Wei). The film is set in 1933, during Japan’s initial occupation of China.

Though not as Americanized as Boxer Rebellion, 7-Man Army is still a very much a high budget, epic-like, polished production. It features hundreds of extras, big explosions, and even actual fighter planes dropping bombs.

7-Man Army is obviously a war movie, but don’t let the word ‘war’ fool you. Sure, it has the gun-battles, military jive and typical war film scenarios; but it equally qualifies as a good ol’ Shaw Brothers kung fu flick. In a way, it’s kind of funny – during many instances, hand-to-hand combat is the primary weapon of choice for the soliders; and if it’s not with their bare hands (or feet), they’ll still prefer to use their bayonets instead of just shooting the damn rifle – as silly as it sounds, it’s acceptable because it’s Chang Cheh.

Sporadically throughout, each of the seven men have their own little flashback segment (a la Bruce Lee, John Saxon and Jim Kelly in Enter The Dragon), explaining why they each joined the army. These mini stories help break up the war-setting a bit, making the film’s pace even better.

The finale packs one hell of a punch and if you’re familiar with most of Chang Cheh’s work, it should come to no surprise that 7-Man Army ends with a great dose of heroic bloodshed. Let’s just say that Willem Dafoe’s death scene in Platoon ain’t got nothing on this…

Recommended.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

7 Grandmasters | aka Return of the Seven Secret Rivals (1978) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"7 Grandmasters" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“7 Grandmasters” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Seven Grand Masters
Director: Joseph Kuo
Cast: Lee Yi Min, Lung Fei, Jack Long, Mark Long, Corey Yuen Kwai, Chin Yuet Sang, Alan Chui, Nancy Yen, Cheung Ching Fung, Lee Yan Wa, Yuen Sam, Ma Chin Ku, Chen Chiu, Chiu Chung Hing, Lee Siu Fei
Running Time: 89 min.

By Tyler

I have to open my review by stating that this film is not groundbreaking stuff, but it is a bucket full of old school kung fu action. It’s one of the best Taiwanese kung fu flicks, and probably the one with the lowest budget. Joseph Kou is the most amazing martial arts director. He incorporates heavy acrobatics with incredible athletic choreography and some truly amazing acrobatic stunts.

One of the best scenes is when Mark Long battles the monkey stylist. When Li Yi Min joins the group, after countless scenes of getting taunted, he becomes Mark Long’s best student. Along with the taunting, there are scenes of Jackie Chan-style humor, and the always inevitable “bumbling students becomes kung fu master.” When Li Yi Min’s character hears that Mark Long killed his father, Li Yi Min learns the “3 Superior Strikes of Pai Mek (white-eyebrow)” from a dark clothed character. Mark Long knows the other nine strikes that he has already taught to Li Yi Min. After a fight between master and student, the dark character reveals himself as the man whom really killed Li Yi Min’s father.

I’m sure you can take it from here. I highly recommend this awesome kung fu Flick. Joseph Kou, god bless you for this film.

Tyler’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Retribution Sight Unseen | aka 3 Days of a Blind Girl (1992) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Retribution Sight Unseen" Chinese DVD Cover

"Retribution Sight Unseen" Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Chan Wing Chiu
Producer: Alfred Cheung Kin-Ting
Writer: So Man Sing
Cast: Anthony Wong, Veronica Yip, Jamie Luk, Anthony Chan, Alfred Cheung
Running Time: 83 min.

By Gwailo

The plot of Retribution Sight Unseen is lifted in part from the Michael Apted film Blink, with Madeline Stowe as the main afflicted and Terence Young’s, Wait Until Dark, with Audrey Hepburn as the tormented blind. This HK counterpart gives it that glorious Cat III punch and it’s ‘over the topness’ makes the film surpass others in the genre.

Veronica Yip is struck with a loss of eyesight for 72 hours (some mumbo jumbo of ruptured blood vessels causing the damage). Her husband, a renowned heart surgeon, must leave her home in HK to attend a medical conference in Macau. By now you know what will occur in the remainder of the film because you’ve seen this device time and again. As hubby exits, Anthony Wong steps on the scene. Wong tells Yip he’s an old buddy of the doc’s and would like to thank him for performing life saving heart surgery on his wife. Yip informs him of her hubby’s absence and politely invites Wong in for tea. The audience groans at her stupidity as we know Wong is there for good. Mayhem ensues and Wong chews scenery.

The typical cliches are enlisted-phone lines cut, light’s go out, deserted home where no one can hear you yelp for help, and a HK favorite, the family pup served for supper. Wong’s reasoning for catching the crazies is his cheating wife. Turn’s out Yip’s surgeon-hubby was treating/banging Wong’s wife on the side as well as prescribing vitamins instead of heart medicine, thus leading to her death and Wong’s psychotic vengeance. At one point in the film, delusional Wong tell’s Yip,”He fucked my wife, I want to fuck his”. All’s fair in love and war, I guess, but Wong doesn’t succeed. As Yip slowly regains her sight, she takes him on in combat, grabbing anything she can for defense, including a humongous frozen sausage, which she uses to whack him over the dome with. Hysterical, and worth the watch alone. Eventually, retribution sight is seen and Yip wins the battle-as if you didn’t know that would happen.

What would a Veronica Yip movie be without nudity? A bad Veronica Yip movie. Since this one is not, we are treated to an unforgettable shower diddy, more funny than bone inducing, as Wong slips in behind Yip and mimes washing her. Wong’s portrayal of the weirdo is like many other characters he had played in Cat III films of the time, more disturbingly absurd than menacing. His wardrobe stand’s out in the film and is chuckle inducing. Along with his scraggly long hair, he dresses like a mountain-man from one of those Ricola cough drop commercials-clad in green hiking shorts and suspenders. There is also some choice banter between the two stars as Yip reveals that she sometimes thinks of Chow Yun-fat while making love to her husband, to which Wong replies,”How about Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, Aaron Kwok?”. Adding in gwailo Richard Gere as well.

The movie is very well made and though some of the suspense comes off silly, do to Wong’s nut job performance, it is strongly maintained and reminds of a Dario Argento shocker. The acting by Yip is quite good and along with the film, deserves some type of award.

Gwailo’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews |

36 Crazy Fists, The | aka Bloodpact (1979) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The 36 Crazy Fists" Theatrical Poster

“The 36 Crazy Fists” Theatrical Poster

Director: Chan Chi Hwa
Writer: Sze To On
Cast: Tony Leung Siu Hung, Lau Kar Yung, Ma Hon Yuen, Paul Chun Pui, Ku Feng, Fung Hak On, Yen Shi Kwan, Michelle Mai Suet, Chan Lau
Running Time: 90 min.

By Kenneth T

Now, I know there are a million reviews telling how bad this movie is but I actually liked it. I think the problem with most people is that it was falsly advertised as a Jackie Chan movie. Hell, I was mad too. But after careful review of this movie, I think it’s the shit. Maybe the story line is a little bit goofy but this movie is a masterpiece. Being directed by Jackie Chan and all it would have to be the stuff. It has a very young Liu Chia Yung in it and Hung Fak On. The fight scene at the end is really good.

Bottom Line: It’s not the story line that counts. But the quality martial arts.

Kenneth T’s Rating: 9/10

By Numskull

Rejoice my friends, for I have at long last convinced messire Bona to open up this legendary film for all sorts of constructive commentary. I am, however, deeply offended by the vile and slanderous remark that he made about me in his review for “Cannonball Run II.” So, as just punishment, I am sending him all sorts of inane and space-eating messages via e-mail (such as “‘Tis better to shed this mortal coil with lobsters on your piano than with crabs on your organ”) while refusing to respond to the pleas for forgiveness he keeps writing me (you don’t talk to Numskull you listen mother fucker!). This will continue for an indefinite period of time. Meanwhile, on with the review. 36 Crazy Fists is a very interesting film to show to 1,000 monkeys before putting them to work on 1,000 typewriters because the primates stand an excellent chance of duplicating the script word-for-word in a matter of minutes due to its highly repetitive nature. Here is the gloriously intricate plot structure for 36 Crazy Fists in 15 easy steps:

1. Kung fu underdog gets terrorized.
2. Kung fu underdog seeks revenge.
3. Kung fu underdog trains hard to become kung fu overdog.
4. Kung fu overdog beats bad guy(s).
5. Kung fu overdog gets challenged by big bad boss man.
6. Repeat step 4.
7. Kung fu overdog gets challenged by even bigger and badder boss man.
8. Repeat step 6.
9. Repeat step 7.
10. Repeat step 8.
11. Entire kung fu community is struck dumber than Jackie Chan’s Shaolin Wooden Men character with the realization that all of its big bad boss men are dead.
12. With no competition to keep him occupied, kung fu overdog hires a group of bad guys and becomes a big bad boss man himself.
13. Big bad boss man sights kung fu underdog.
14. Repeat step 1.
15. The eternal struggle continues.

If you would just as soon watch a kung fu demonstration through the eyes of the singer in John Woo’s “The Killer” while wearing earmuffs, then jump right in; the water’s fine. Otherwise, ignore this movie the same way McDonald’s ignores FDA regulations.

Numskull’s Rating: 3/10

By Tyler

The 36 crazy fist aren’t really that crazy, because they are very boring. A better name for this film would probably be”The Little Shaolin Weenie”. This film is like the “ugly duckling learns kung fu, and beats up everyone”, and another thing Jackie doesn’t even star in it. Jackie was the martial arts director for this film, but was a big disappointment. This film kept repeating itself too, it was you like this”You killed him so now I’ll kill you” (Then he dies and another guy shows up) “You killed him now I’ll kill you”(Then he dies and those two guys master shows up) “You killed my best students, and you insulted me, now you will die!” (So then we see a boring drawn out kung fu scene with a beggar and two Shaolin guys watching,and then the master dies the end). Although I don’t like this film it did have some comedic elements. I listed some down below is how the “Weenie” learned Kung Fu during the film.

1.The second Shaolin guy beats up the little “Weenie”
2.Beggar beats up “Weenie”
3. “Weenie” learns a bit of Kung Fu and fights second Shaolin guy, and learns a bit more Kung Fu
4.”Weenie” goes to learn more Kung Fu from Beggar, but Beggar’s student beats “Weenie” up
5.”Weenie” learns more Kung Fu, and fights gang and beats them up
6.Gets challenged by gangs leader, and goes back to Shaolin and learns more Kung Fu
7.”Weenie” kills gangs leader, and gets challenged by gang leaders brother (they have to fight with weapons)
8.”Weenie” learns a little about fighting with weapons,and then fights brother of gang leader
9.Shaolin monks help “Weenie” cheat and so “Weenie” kills bother of gang leader
10.Master of the two brothers challenges “Weenie” so “Weenie” learns the (get this) “The 36 Crazy Styles”
11. The beggar’s student and “Weenie” use the 36 crazy styles to kill the master the end

This film has also been called Jackie Chan’s Bloodpact, but don’t be fooled by the pretty cover. this isn’t a Chan film.

Tyler’s Rating: 1/10

By T-Man

I remember watching kung fu movies on “Kung Fu Theater” late Saturday mornings when I was a youngster. The movies were always bad but I was a kid so what did I know. Stupid plots, people flying in the air, kung fu gorillas, etc. I’m sure 36 Crazy Fists was one of these horrible movies!

Bottom line: Unless you are purposely looking for a cheesy kung fu movie, avoid this film at all costs! The acting is pititful, the jokes are bad, and the actual 36 Crazy Fists technique is just plain silly looking. Jackie Chan is NOT in the movie. He is shown before the movie instructing the actors and it’s almost as boring as the actual movie. You’d be making better use of your time if you sat and stared at the wall for an hour and a half!

T-Man’s Rating: 2/10

By Alvin George

I can’t believe I bought this shit for three lousy bucks at Circuit City! I got it in October 1998 because it was the only “Jackie Chan” movie that I could afford at the time. When I started to watch it at home, the sound was barely audible, though I noticed that “Jackie” didn’t dub his own voice for that one. I ended up returning it as a defective product (without finishing it, of course), but it wouldn’t go out of my life. I saw footage of it in that stupid “Fists of Chan” documentary video. I actually saw more of the movie on that video than I did on the first copy. Nevertheless, I foolishly believed the whole time that Jackie Chan was really in the movie. Then I stumbled onto Jeff’s site and discovered to my horror that Jackie Chan was NOT really in the movie as the star, though he did appear at the beginning as the stunt coordinator. I started getting angry at the video companies Platinum and Parade, but I never went as far as writing any letters. Then I read Jackie Chan’s autobio and discovered that the unscrupulous producers promoted this as a “Jackie Chan” movie way back in 1979 or whatever, incorporating the behind-the-scenes shit into the movie. The companies must’ve been fooled. Fraud aside, the movie itself isn’t that good. It’s lame as hell, with typical campy dialogue, though some of the fight scenes were OK. (After all, JC was the stunt coordinator.) Skip this crap.

Alvin George’s Rating: 2/10

Posted in All, Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

2046 (2004) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"2046" International Theatrical Poster

“2046” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Wong Kar-Wai
Cast: Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Faye Wong Fei, Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi, Carina Lau Ka-Ling, Maggie Cheung Man-Yuk, Tung Jei, Takuya Kimura, Bey Logan
Running Time: 129 min.

By Iuxion

The latest film from Wong Kar Wai needs no introduction. Kind of a sequel to his previous feature, In the Mood for Love, 2046 tells the story of Chow Mo Wan (Tony Leung), an author who pens the science fiction story of the movie’s title, in which the protagonist (Takuya Kimura) boards a train to 2046, a place where nothing ever changes. Cutting between the past, the future, and the present, the bulk of the movie lies in the exploration of Chow Mo Wan’s various failed relationships with women played by Zhang Ziyi, Carina Lau, and Gong Li, with brief glimpses of a character played by Maggie Cheung, presumably the same one from In the Mood For Love.

As expected, the cinematography and music are absolutely outstanding, and the entire film is, without a doubt, a technical marvel. However, the pace is at times, a little slow, and admittedly, Tony Leung’s Chow Mo Wan is one of Mr. Wong’s least likable lead characters (very different from the Chow Mo Wan of In the Mood For Love, although the differing characterization makes sense from a story standpoint).

For me, it’s probably one of my least favorite Wong Kar Wai movies, but that really doesn’t mean anything, considering I’ve loved every single one I’ve seen up to this point. There’s really nothing particularly better or worse about 2046, and I’m sure someone will find this to be their favorite, depending on what they take from the experience. In any case, it’s not to be missed.

Iuxion’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

100 Ways To Murder Your Wife (1986) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"100 Ways To Murder Your Wife" Chinese DVD Cover

"100 Ways To Murder Your Wife" Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Kenny Bee
Producer: Wong Jing
Writer: Law Kai Yui
Cast: Chow Yun-Fat, Joey Wang, Kenny Bee, Anita Mui, Wu Ma, Anthony Chan
Running Time: 91 min.

By Numskull

For a black comedy, this is pretty grey. Chow Yun-Fat and Kenny Bee are two noteworthy football/soccer players (Fa and Roberto, respectively) who get drunk off their asses one night and agree to kill each other’s wives. Fa’s wife Hsiao Hsien (Joey Wang) is a friendly, cutesy housepet of a woman whom he is convinced is sleeping around behind his back and is plotting to kill HIM. Bee’s spouse, Fang (Anita Mui, who gives the best performance of the main actors), is a nagging harpy who loves nothing more than pointing out her husband’s failures and shortcomings in front of other people. One hangover after the deal is struck, Roberto has lost his enthusiasm, but Fa declares that he has kept his end of the bargain and that Hsiao Hsien must die. In between half-assed attempts on her life, Roberto gets pretty chummy with her, which further enrages Fa.

The last third of the movie has a different (and worse) feel to it and suffers from excessive coincidence and an icky, gooey, preposterous kiss-and-make-up ending. This is an extension of the film’s key problem: it just isn’t nasty enough. The characters need to be more despicable, the dialogue more heated, and the general tone more cynical for this thing to really work. There are some mildly amusing moments, but true black comedy in a severed, blood-gushing vein is what’s really required here. Wong Jing produced, so it’s no wonder the film is more silly than nasty.

I will leave you with this snafu and vivid mental image: Fa and Hsiao Hsien have a dog named Nancy. Presumably, this dog is a female (or a bitch, if you will). However, when we see…”Nancy”…for the first time, her/his/its cock and balls are swinging all over the place. You don’t have to be some perverted, beast-humping redneck to notice. As long as you’re looking at the screen, you’ll see it. I will not, however, go so far as to say that this is one of the most interesting things in this lame, boring film. That would be…you know…weird.

Numskull’s Rating: 4/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews |

All Men Are Brothers | aka Water Margin 2 (1973) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"All Men Are Brothers" Chinese Theatrical Poster

"All Men Are Brothers" Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: 7 Soldiers of Kung Fu, 108 Heroes
Director: Chang Cheh, Wu Ma
Producer: Sir Run Run Shaw
Cast: David Chiang, Ti Lung, Chen Kuan Tai, Danny Lee, Michael Chan, Betty Chung, Guk Fung (Yu Feng), Lily Ho, Yueh Hua, Tetsuro Tamba (Tetsuro Tanba), Bolo Yeung, Wong Chung, Chan Sing
Running Time: 101 min.

By Joe909

There is more epic-scale action in the first ten minutes of All Men Are Brothers than there is in the entire running time of its predecessor, The Water Margin. Events seem to pick up right after those shown in the Water Margin, but it’s not in the least necessary to see that movie before watching this one. In fact, All Men gets started with a recap of several things that didn’t even happen in the Water Margin, as several battles are waged between the 108 Outlaws of the Marsh and the rebels they’re against.

This opening act flows along rapidly, with an onscreen legend (in Chinese and English) giving you the background of the events about to be seen. It’s humorous that these legends also tell you how these events are going to end, too. Anyway, here we see lots of cool battle scenes as members of the Marsh army decimate their foes in large battles, sacrificing themselves for the cause. Best part of all: one of the Outlaw leaders is portrayed by the same guy who played the ninja leader in Five Element Ninja! I love that guy!

After this bloody opening, things get started with a meeting of the leaders of the Marsh. It’s decided that rebel leader Fang La is the greatest threat to the Emperor, so a force is sent to destroy his stronghold city of Yongjinmen. The city however is well-guarded, with high walls and even water fortifications. This is the part where the movie shows the limits of its budget, though. Where the Water Margin merely hinted at naval warfare, All Men shows an armada assault on Yongjinmen, and it isn’t pretty. Only a handful of boats are shown, and they’re waylaid by a half-assed gate of wire-laced logs. The naval force is wasted, with only one guy escaping to tell the tale.

The Marsh leaders then send a few heroes into the city alone, to figure out a way to break down the defenses so the Outlaw army can get in, by land and by sea. This successfully whittles down the unwieldy cast list, and we’re given only a few heroes to root for, which makes the movie much more accessible than its predecessor. David Chiang is of course one of these guys, some of the others being Chen Kuan-Tai, Wang Chung, and Danny Lee. Ti Lung unfortunately isn’t along for the trip, but shows up long enough for some heroic sacrifice at the very end.

The movie soon becomes a protracted cat-and-mouse scenario, with the Outlaws trying to evade being caught in Yongjinmen. Much like the Water Margin was an endless loop of guys getting captured, jailed, and then freed, All Men Are Brothers is an endless loop of the Outlaws being spotted by rebel soldiers, then making a lone, heroic stand against them. Imagine a movie comprised of several bloody set pieces similar to the finale of Boxer from Shantung, and you’ll get an idea of what All Men Are Brothers is like. Unlike the Water Margin, though, this endless loop of battles is entertaining, and doesn’t grate your nerves. Admitably however, the movie is mostly braindead in the story department.

One surprising aspect of the Water Margin was that all of the heroes survived. To say this was unusual for a Chang Cheh movie is an understatement. I have a feeling Chang woke up in the middle of the night after completing that film, sputtering “What in the hell have I done?” and promptly got to work on All Men Are Brothers, in which EVERYONE dies. The violence level is fantastic, with multiple dismemberings, hackings, and slicings. Chen Kuan-Tai gets the best scene in the entire film, using whatever he can get his hands on as a weapon, killing tons of guys. The Shaws red blood is everywhere throughout the length of the film. This is one of the most violent Shaw Brothers flicks for sure. Another name for the movie could have been “All Men Are Bloody.”

Like the Water Margin, the Celestial DVD release is near-perfection. I have read that it’s slightly edited, though. Apparently there were a few extra seconds of violence in the US print of the movie. In particular, I’ve read that there was a shot of David Chiang getting stabbed in the back (literally) during his final battle sequence. On the other hand, the US print was not in any way preferable; the US release of All Men Are Brothers reverted to black and white to obscure several of the more violent scenes. The Celestial release is in glorious color throughout.

Final word: if you want a blood-drenched classic, seek this out. The choreography isn’t Venoms-quality, but it’s better than the wrestling antics of the Water Margin. David Chiang comes off better in this one than the previous movie, and the tattoo-covered Chen Kuan-Tai is the highlight of the film. It’s like this: the Water Margin seemed like the work of some unknown director who was unsure of his footing. All Men Are Brothers is a Chang Cheh classic through and through. It’s only let down by the occasional misstep (the awkward naval battle, the utterly annoying Black Whirlwind, the fact that Fang La’s men only seem capable of chasing our heroes for a few feet before giving up), but it will entertain for sure.

Joe909’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Water Margin, The | aka 7 Blows of the Dragon (1972) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Water Margin" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Water Margin” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chang Cheh
Co-director: Wu Ma
Co-director: Pao Hsueh Lieh
Cast: David Chiang, Ti Lung, Lily Ho, Yueh Hua, Chin Feng, Guk Fung, Cheng Miu, Chen Kuan Tai, Danny Lee Sau-Yin, Tetsuro Tamba, Paul Chun Pui, Yuen Shun-Yi, Yuen Cheung Yan, Wong Chung, Wu Ma, Fan Mei Sheng
Running Time: 120 min.

By Joe909

These days when we think of old school kung fu movies, we think of Five Deadly Venoms and 36th Chamber of Shaolin. But the fact is, those movies were made at the tail end of the initial kung-fu boom which swept the West in the 1970s. But back in the early part of that decade, when movies like Enter the Dragon and Five Fingers of Death got things going with Western audiences, it was movies like The Water Margin, aka 7 Blows of the Dragon in the US, that drew them back into their grindhouse theaters for more martial arts cinema. So this is true old school, and in reality is nothing like the old school most of us know and love.

Based on a monstrously-long Chinese classic detailing the activities of 108 Outlaws who defended their Emperor against armies of rebels, The Water Margin wisely limits itself to just a few chapters, but unwisely assaults us with too many characters. The opening scene piles character introduction on top of character introduction, with each appearing alongside an on-screen credit. The scene itself is very impressive, and somehow reminds me of something Orson Welles might have pulled off. Luckily these multiple characters we meet in the opening disappear for the majority of the film, only to reappear in the end.

But this is one of the manifold problems with this movie. The opening scene, even though it confuses you with so many new faces and names, makes you believe you’re in store for an epic. Even the production values for this movie are on par with Hollywood epics of yore, with splendid outdoor sets of castles, a cast of thousands, and even a small armada. You see the money and effort that went into making this movie, and expect a Hong Kong Spartacus. Instead, what you get is a disjointed tale that squanders its promise.

As mentioned, there are 108 Outlaws banded together. The movie gets rolling with an evil general, Golden Spear, killing one of their leaders. The Outlaws find out about this, and fearing Golden Spear’s skill, decide that only one man, Lu Jun-Yi, can defeat him. So they go looking for this man who apparently is the only dude in all of friggin China who can kill Golden Spear, and along the way they meet Lu’s cocky disciple, Young Dragon Yen Ching (David Chiang). It would have been nice if the movie had then skimmed over the events in the book and instead gotten straight to the gist, the epicness of the story, but instead we must look on as things spiral into blandsville.

This is pretty much what happens, over and over in The Water Margin: someone will seek out Lu Jun-Yi. Either that person or Lu, or both, will then get captured, and then someone ELSE will come to rescue THEM. Over and over: wash, rinse, and repeat. This goes on for a good hour. I’d say it’s a comedy of errors, but judging from the production values and the music cues, it’s obvious Chang Cheh et al are aiming for something grand. But watching guys endlessly being jailed and freed isn’t grand, it’s boring. Well, initially it’s boring. Soon enough it becomes frustrating.

What makes it even worse is that the filmmakers stuck with the martial arts combat as described in the source material, and instead of cool kung-fu we get wrestling matches. David Chiang, for whatever reason Chang Cheh’s early favorite, is a master wrestler, tossing huge guys over his wiry and unimpressive frame. He does get a cool “chooka-chooka” music cue every time he does something, though. Occasionally there is a sword fight, or the burly Black Whirlwind will hack someone with his twin axes, but the violence is minimal, especially when compared with similar films of the era.

Finally Lu Jun-Yi is freed, joins the rebels, and everyone gets together for a battle against Golden Spear. But this final fight is anti-climactic. Golden Spear selects a mere five fighters to take on five of the 108 Outlaws (one of whom is sexpot Lily Ho, aka the Lady Professional), and during the round-robin melee Golden Spear himself takes on Lu Jun-Yi. The choreography here is better than any other part of the movie, however, and makes the viewer wish there had been more of it, and less jail time.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the sequel, All Men Are Brothers, is everything The Water Margin should have been. There are reviewers who will claim that The Water Margin is the superior film, and All Men is just a typically-bloody sequel, but I disagree. I’d even suggest if you’re thinking you have to watch Water Margin before All Men, then forget it. Just go straight to the sequel, as you won’t miss a thing. It’s not like we get to really know any of the characters in the Water Margin; most are just introduced for a handful of seconds. And speaking of introductions, this movie is crazy about them: even a damn clerk gets an on-screen credit, and he’s only in the movie for like two seconds!

On a side note, I’d say if there was a “Most Misleading Poster Award” out there, the US release of this movie would surely win it. The US poster for 7 Blows of the Dragon has male and female kung-fu warriors baring their teeth in martial rage, with all manner of bizarre weaponry in hand. There isn’t a THING like that in the movie. It seems obvious the distributors realized they had a mostly-boring flick on their hands, and tried all they could to make it appealing to the gullible masses.

I really shouldn’t be too hard on this movie, though. After all, how many other kung-fu flicks can you name with a soundtrack featuring the prog rock of Uriah Heep?

Joe909’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

12 Nights (2000) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"12 Nights" Chinese DVD Cover

“12 Nights” Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Aubrey Lam
Cast: Cecilia Cheung, Eason Chan Yick-shunn, Candy Lo, Nicola Cheung Sam-Yuet, Sue Au Suk-Jing, GC Goo Bi, Siu Ye Jim, Nicholas Tse, Stephen Fung
Running Time: 90 min.

By Woody

When I first heard about Aubrey Lam’s “12 Nights”, it was being mentioned as being a must-see for those of us who have been dumped, right up there with “Swingers” and “Chungking Express”. On November 3rd, 2002, at 5:32PM, I was dumped. No need to get too much into why I was dumped. But I can tell you this much: it really sucks being in a relationship and then all of the sudden being out of one. It’s as if the rug has been pulled out from under you and you are stuck frozen at the exact moment in which you are about to hit the floor. You feel bad, like “Shit, I’m about to hit the floor.” You have money, but no one to spend it on. You have your movies, and CD’s, and meaningless materialistic goods, which have been collecting on the shelf, but they no longer matter. You have friends, but it’s been months since you’ve talked to them, and the prospect of going back to them is like admitting defeat. And overall, you just feel shitty. Movies you watch just aren’t the same without her. Food you eat tastes like shit when she’s away. Everything is bland and flavorless; if life were a food it would be tofu. Only four things have been helping me through these shitty times. My friends, who, despite my protests, are doing their best to get me back on my feet. “Chungking Express”, which I understand now better than I ever have. “Swingers”, which allows me to laugh at what a loser I am. And finally, “12 Nights”, which is basically my relationship with that girl on film, only with better looking people and a higher budget.

Cecilia Cheung is Jeannie, your typical female. Eason Chan is Alan, your typical male. “12 Nights” takes us through 12 nights of their relationship, from the first night, when the two meet, to the last, when they split. If only I had seen this movie before I had gotten into a relationship. Then I would have known how a trivial argument can lead to a girl accusing you of “growing tired of her.” I would have known how much it hurts a girl to tell her you are busy, or that you don’t like what she is wearing. Overall, I wish I had not taken her for granted. I know I’m not alone in our relationship failing, but I was an active participant. “12 Nights” is quite brilliant, and quite painful to watch at times. Jeannie loves Alan, but can’t accept that, following that brief period at the beginning the relationship where everything is wonderful, Alan has to put her lower on his list of priorities. Alan loves Jeannie, but feels smothered and embarrassed by her. He wants to hang out with buddies from work. He needs his time at work, and his sleep. He needs space.

The film feels fresh in the beginning, as does the relationship. But as it progresses, things get more boring and stale, as does the relationship. It gets talkier, with Jeannie saying the same things over and over again, trying to get Alan to understand her, and where she’s coming from. Aubrey Lam uses these techniques to show just how boring and painful times are when you are in a failing relationship. This technique also leads to one of the best scenes of the movie, where Jeannie delivers a never ending monologue to Alan. Just as we, the audience, start feeling bored, it cuts back to Alan, asleep.

If you haven’t been in a relationship, or plan to ever be in another one, this is required viewing. This movie shows you just how they go wrong. Now that I’m starting to get into another relationship, I’m going to try and apply the knowledge that I have gained from this film into the relationship. I pray it works. I’m running out of shirts to iron!

Woody’s Rating: 9/10

By Alexander

The worst thing about this excruciatingly dull film is the horrid performance by newcomer Eason Chan (Triad Zone). Had he been exceptionally handsome, I might have excused his minimal talent as the by-product of a film industry renowned for casting models and pop stars in major roles (see also Ekin Cheng, Faye Wong, Sammi Cheng, Stephen Fung, Andy Lau, Edison Chen, at al.). However, Eason is NOT a good looking guy so for him to appear convincing as the sole object of gorgeous Cecilia Cheung’s affections, the dude better be able to A-C-T and appear to have at least one redeeming quality. Sadly, Eason bumbles about, a step slow at times and obviously overwhelmed at the prospect of sharing major screen time with one of Hong Kong’s most desirable female stars. When Jeannie (Cecilia Cheung) hits Eason’s Alan Hing over the head with a MAGAZINE, he reacts as if he’s been shot at close range with a bazooka. He doesn’t react this way to elicit laughs from the audience; rather, he reacts this way because he’s unable to feign surprise at being hit in the head with a magazine. Also, early in the film, his actions seem prompted more by a producer whispering his lines to him from off camera (“Roll your eyes NOW, Eason!”) than to anything going on in the film.

The second problem with 12 Nights is the complete dearth of sympathetic characters. As appealing as Cecilia is, it’s impossible to root for or care about her character because she is so willing to put up with what amounts to sustained emotional abuse by her dimwitted, neglectful boyfriend. 12 Nights is essentially about Alan treating Jeannie like shit for most of the film, and Jeannie taking it all in stride as if this Alan dude were the only eligible bachelor in Hong Kong. Compounding my disdain for the film was Jeannie’s inexplicable willingness to sleep with Alan late in the film despite his palpable vileness. I longed for the film to shift gears, for Cecilia’s character to drop this loser and get with either the flamboyant Nic Tse or the brooding Stephen Fung (both of whom make brief cameos).

Another of the film’s flaws was an attempt to organize the story into twelve “chapters”, with each chapter representing an evening in the lives of Alan and Jeannie. Days one to eight chronicle the budding romance of our leads but writer/director Aubrey Lam, obviously realizing 3/4 of the way through her film that she couldn’t possibly tell these character’s stories in twelve days, shamelessly cheats and fastforwards months into the future. A minor grievance, sure, but irritating nonetheless.

Alexander’s Rating: 5.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

2002 (2002) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"2002" Chinese DVD Cover

“2002” Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Wilson Yip
Cast: Nicholas Tse (Ting Fung), Stephen Fung Tak-Lun, Law Kar-Ying, Sam Lee Chan-Sam, Danielle Graham, Rain Li (Choi Wah), Alex Fong (Nik Sun), Anya
Running Time: 96 min.

By Ben Poppel

Do you want to watch a movie about ghouls and goblins? Well maybe more like ghosts. Whatever the case, this is not your traditional actioner. Sure it’s got fighting, shooting and chases. But it also has flying spirits, crazy demon ladies and plenty supernatural beings. It also has the re-teaming of the cool Nicholas Tse and “I will try to be cool” Stephen Fung. Their on screen chemistry together works pretty good. The settings, costumes, music and atmosphere are also very slick and polished. But all that can’t save the bland substance that surrounds the whole scenario. Take two guys who like two girls, throw in an old man, and a bunch of cops who are all trying to stop bad ghosts, but the two guys are the only ones who can stop the wicked spirits while saving their girls and not trying to die, but end up dying and living and killing bad ghosts and helping good ghosts… whew… I lost myself… what , what was I saying…

Well, the point I am trying to make is that this movie has more style and showiness than substance and story. For some reason when the credits started rolling, I didn’t feel completely satisfied. Kind of like going to a party, enjoying yourself, but not waking up with a hangover the next day – well actually that is a good thing. So I guess really this movie wasn’t all that bad. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts because you may not feel any wow-ness after it’s over. Or maybe I’m just freakin’ crazy and don’t know how to write reviews!

Ben Poppel’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

9413 (1998) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"9413" Chinese DVD Cover

"9413" Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Francis Ng Chun-Yu
Producer: Herman Yau Lai To, Ng Ga Bo
Writer: Sandy Siu
Cast: Francis Ng Chun-Yu, Christine Eng Wing Mei, Amanda Lee Wai Man, Mo Jun Fai
Running Time: 90 min.

By Ben Poppel

Lan, a police officer, relies on Carmen, a hypnotist, to cure his amnesia. As Lan gradually regains his memories, it dawns on him that he may be the famous cop murderer. Things escalate and Carmen is soon terrified of becoming his next victim.

With a low-budget look, not-that-great story, zero martial arts, and a cheap look and feel to it, this movie looks to be a real stinker. But wait there is one catch: he film stars the outstanding Francis Ng and it gives him the perfect role to play. It allows for him to demonstrate all the characteristics that we have come to expect from such a great actor. This film doesn’t rely on action set pieces or even a real concrete story to keep our attention. Instead it just kind of has it’s own flow to it, and makes you want to keep watching just to see what Francis is going to do next.

I would say at least eighty percent of the screen time is done by Francis and that’s always a good thing. This movie is also directed by Francis. But remember don’t expect any real action or high tech special effects to blow you out of the water. Instead just good acting by a very good actor… did I say Francis enough or what?

Ben Poppel’s Rating: 8/10 (because It has Francis in it); 4/10 (If any other actor played the part)

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , |

10 Brothers of Shaolin | aka Warriors of the Sacred Temple (1979) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"10 Brothers of Shaolin" American DVD Cover

“10 Brothers of Shaolin” American DVD Cover

AKA: Ten Brothers of Shaolin
Director: Ting Chung
Cast: Chia Ling, Don Wong Tao, Chang Yi, Wong Fei Lung, Lau Lap Cho, Phillip Ko Fei, Leung Kar Yan, Stephen Tung Wai, Luk Yat Lung, O Yau Man, Chen Chiu, Ga Hoi, Shaw Luo Hui, Au Lap Bo, Yim Chung, Woo Gwong, Man Man, Lung Fong, Lam Mong Nam
Running Time: 86 min.

By Milkcan

Wang Tao stars as a disciple of the Shaolin temple who must escort a high ranked official to a rendezvous location with his comrades, all the while fighting off an opposing force who wants the official dead. This Shaolin disciple is not alone in his task: his 9 “brothers” (also skilled fighters from the temple) secretly provide help along the way to ensure a safe journey. “10 Brothers of Shaolin” takes this story, a closeline for great moments of action, and runs face first into a brick wall with it. The film insists on racing through as many ideas and scenarios as possible, which means there are a good deal of characters who are easily forgotten, characters who are useless but have much screen-time, and a lame soap opera story that becomes blurred to the point where the two main characters seem to be aimlessly wandering around. The title is misleading: it is a shame the filmmakers didn’t create a better movie involving an actual band of 10 brothers pitted against a ruthless, threatening enemy.

Like several other kung-fu movies, “10 Brothers of Shaolin” has an abundance of moments that could have been exciting or at least interesting. In this movie, the various settings throughout the story would have been excellent for action sequences, but instead are rarely and poorly utilized. The entire film is darkly shaded with deep colors and shadows that bring out an ugly, harsh feeling to the screen (This is particularly evident in a death scene involving a patch of bamboo trees). Attempting to offer something new, the movie employs a chase sequence that, like most of the action, is not amusing or really thoughtful. However, the roaring soundtrack is very good and deserves to be accompanied with a better picture (The great theme song is: see Jackie Chan’s 1978 film “Drunken Master”). And above all, what makes a kung-fu movie like this a kung-fu movie are the fight scenes- “10 Brothers of Shaolin” offers no satisfaction.

Midway through the film, two fights occur that can be called weak but nonetheless better than duration of the movie, and that is all the audience will receive. The short lengthed and quick ending is an absolute let-down to top off this unorganized and disappointing chopsockie. This is the second movie I’ve seen that stars Wang Tao, and I begin to wonder how successful he was overseas. There is a look and presence he brings to the screen that suggests we’re watching a slapstick Bruce Lee. In the future, I would most definitely enjoy seeing this apparently skilled martial artist assume the lead role in a movie that knows he’s the lead role and that allows him to get his face dirty.

Milkcan’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , |

2000 A.D. (2000) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"2000 A.D." Chinese Theatrical Poster

“2000 A.D.” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Gordon Chan
Cast: Aaron Kwok, Daniel Wu, Gigi Choi, Phyllis Quek, Ray Lui, Francis Ng, Andrew Lien, Ken Lo, Tony Ho
Running Time: 104 min.

By Raging Gaijin

Everything about this film suggests it was tailor made to be a big pan-Asian hit: it has a nondescript millennial title, a big budget put to use with some questionable CGI, locations around the continent, popstar Aaron Kwok in the lead role, and workmanlike director Gordon Chan behind the camera. Oh, yeah, and a very clear anti-US attitude. Unfortunately, the result is about as homogenized as you would expect. Despite some stellar action, as a whole “2000 A.D.” never rises above competent.

The plot is nearly indecipherable. There’s some kind of computer virus that can disrupt the stock exchange and it’s been stolen by a rogue CIA agent. In pursuit of the virus are some other shadowy government types and deadly assassins. Caught in the middle is plucky computer programmer Aaron Kwok. Needless to say, if you’re expecting an engaging story you’ll be disappointed. This is muddled at best.

Aaron Kwok is a decent actor when kept to a supporting or co-starring role (“Saviour of the Soul”, “Storm Riders”). However, “2000 A.D.” proves that he doesn’t quite have what it takes to shoulder an entire movie. He’s just too benign. You don’t get the sense that there’s a personality behind his good looks. He’s suitable in the action sequences but in the dramatic portions of the film he is clearly lacking. Aaron Kwok is in over his head trying to anchor this movie and it shows.

So what saves “2000 A.D.”? Two words: Francis Ng. He delivers another in a long line of stand-out performances. He’s nothing less than one of Hong Kong’s best character actors. Here he imbues a generic cop role with a rounded persona of dignity and strength. His performance isn’t showy at all, simply reserved, and the movie is all the better for it. Every time he’s on screen “2000 A.D.” comes to life.

The other saving grace is the action scenes. While not plentiful, they are well-done. They’re not all that over-the-top or in your face, just very immediate and violent. Much blood is shed and characters you might not expect to die do end up biting the bullet. Kudos to Gordon Chan for not holding back on the violence, even in a big-budget mainstream picture like this. Action fans will certainly be satisfied with the mayhem that unfolds.

“2000 A.D.” fits the bare minimum requirements of an entertaining film. A hackneyed plot involving computer viruses and an untested lead actor threaten to sink this ship but, just when you think the movie sucks, Francis Ng shows up or another action scene lights up the screen. You could do worse than “2000 A.D.” for a night’s entertainment but don’t set your hopes too high. This is a passable action movie; I just expect a little more from Hong Kong.

Raging Gaijin’s Rating: 6/10

By Numskull

The title of this movie is rather deceptive…it’s not about some Y2K bug or other such catastrophe waiting to be sprung on the world at the point at which most people thought the new millennium began (it was actually January 1st, 2001, whether you want to believe it or not). Lots of computers, but nobody mentions what year it is. Maybe they were trying to capitalize on millennium fever…

Anyway, this is a film that starts out dull but gets a hell of a lot better if you give it a chance. The first half hour is very boring, and I remained unconvinced that I should give a shit about any of the characters. But in due time the bullets start flying, the blood starts splattering, and there is some good hand-to-hand fighting…something too many action films lack these days. The shootouts and fights are handled in a very down-to-earth manner. No super-charged music, no flashy camera angles, no absurd heroics. Just sudden violence. The protagonists don’t valiantly do battle because it’s the right thing to do; they deal with it because they have no choice. I like it.

The cast is well-rounded, with no performances standing out as particularly excellent or suckworthy. Aaron Kwok eventually wins you over as the hapless everyman who gets thrust into extraordinary circumstances, newcomer Gigi Choi is reasonably likable as his girlfriend, and Phyllis Quek ably portrays a mysterious spy-type woman. Most guys will have a hard time taking their eyes off of her.

The story is fairly convoluted, with more than a few characters to keep track of. That’s good, but the general interest level isn’t particularly high. Also, the ending is pretty lame. As in many, MANY other HK movies it is very abrupt and gives you the feeling that the writers didn’t have a clue what to do after the primary conflict is resolved.

Not bad, not bad. Nice to see an HK action movie where the main heroes and villains aren’t your usual cops and robbers. A decent film to watch to get away from the endless chop-socky stuff that Asian cinema is synonymous with here in the west.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Stranger and the Gunfighter, The | aka Bloody Money (1975) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Stranger and the Gunfighter" International Theatrical Poster

"The Stranger and the Gunfighter" International Theatrical Poster

Director: Antonio Margheriti
Writers: Miguel De Echarri, Barth Jules Sussman
Cast: Lee Van Cleef, Lo Lieh, Wong Hap, Chan Shen, Cheng Miu, Yen Shi Kwan, Patty Shepard, Femi Benussi, Karen Yeh, Julián Ugarte, Erika Blanc
Running Time: 96 min.

By Joseph Kuby

One of the original Eastern Westerns!

Going by the trailer I saw somewhere, I was expecting an American quality film if not exactly a combo mix of Chang Cheh and Sergio Leone or Chor Yuen and Sergio Corbucci (or even Lo Wei and Enzo Girolami). Alas, the film comes off like a Hong Kong movie except shot in English (though dubbed in English as well) and shot in the West.

Some of the acting is terrible. The main villain, as played by Julian Ugarte, verily hams it up as a pantomine Warner Bros. cartoon style villain. Responsively, though Lee’s class and Lo’s style give this film much needed admiration.

The martial arts action is incredibly average (though I suppose watching this as a martial arts movie is like watching The Fighting Fists of Shanghai Joe as a Western) and the sound effects used for when Lo jumps in the air are cartoony to say the least (they make the ones back home seem realistic in comparison) and it makes it come off like a Kung Fu western equivalent to The Six Million Dollar Man.

Respectively, this should be watched as a Western than a Kung Fu film as the fight scenes are okay and (at the very best) good (like the final one between Lo Lieh and this Native American prize fighter) but the real highlight comes when Lee uses a Gatling gun to take on the hoodlums at the end (which Sammo payed homage to in his Eastern Western Millionaire’s Express).

I saw the UK DVD entitled Blood Money. The visual quality was atrocious and the film print faded to green sometimes, falling way below the same quality as the one depicted in the trailer with vibrant colors and widescreen image. This version is hideously cropped and it miserably spoils the action. What’s worse was that the print featured in the UK disc came from a VHS source. It indubitably doesn’t do the production values any favors.

I read somewhere the distillery fight sequence is missing, which is a pity. However, the film is still enjoyable. Lee and Lo make a great team, it’s regrettable that there was no sequel (I think it’s quite obvious it would have been more like Rush Hour 2 with Lee being the fish-out-of-water). It’s a pudency that no-one interviewed either Lo or Lee about their involvement in this film; it would have been nice to know how well they got along with each other as well as what the atmosphere was like on set and various other anecdotes.

When these two are on screen together, you realize Eastwood and Wang Yu could have been a wonderful duo. Joe Monco from the Dollars Trilogy teaming up with the One Armed Swordsman (or Boxer). Looking back at the ’70s, there were a lot of missed opportunities for crossover success. Ti Lung and David Chiang starring opposite Terence Hill and Bud Spencer would have been spectacular. Yul Brynner and Gordon Liu would have been delightfully canny in the possibilities stemming from such a union. Angela Mao and Carter Wong alongside John Wayne and Burt Lancaster would have been splendid.

Heck if you can have Mifune paired with Bronson, a Zatoichi vs. One Armed Swordsman movie, a Zatoichi vs. Yojimbo movie and even a movie featuring the two one-armed swordsmen then by all means the above were tangible ideas.

Strangely enough, despite the low budget exploitation feel (complete with the 70s music) there’s a substantial emphasis on character interaction and plotting than action (at least martial arts action) which isn’t too bad as the story is original, immersing and very funny (intentionally).

The film has some odd alternate titles. During pre-production, the film was announced to the Spanish press as Blood Currency before being known as Karate, The Colt and The Imposter. The Italian title was Here, Where it Does Not Strike the Sun. It was announced to the German press as Kung Fu in Wild West before being released as In My Rage, I Weigh 400 Weights. The French title is The Rough One, The Colt and Karate.

On a historical note, I don’t know much about what the impact of this film was at the American and Hong Kong box office. As far as I know it’s a pretty obscure movie but maybe it’s one of those films that was famous then but not now.

This film is one of many Eastern Westerns, the others are Dragon Blood, Red Sun, The Fighting Fists of Shanghai Joe, Sun Dragon (a.k.a. A Hard Way to Die), Once Upon a Time in China & America and Shanghai Noon.

Kung Fu fanatics would be well advised to check out Dragon Blood as it pits John Liu against Philip Ko.

Then in Hong Kong, there’s films set in turn-of-the-20th-century China where they absorb the atmosphere of westerns such as Peace Hotel (starring Chow Yun Fat).

Shanghai Noon remains, by far, the most well-rounded but this one isn’t too far behind.

Joseph Kuby’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Chinese, Other Movies, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , |

Two Champions of Shaolin (1980) Review

Posted on January 13, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Two Champions of Shaolin" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Two Champions of Shaolin” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: 2 Champions of Death
Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Lo Meng, Chiang Sheng, Candy Wen, Lu Feng, Chin Siu Ho, Yeung Hung, Lam Chi Tai, Sun Chien, Chui Tai Ping, Yeung Jing Jing, Chan Hon Kwong, Chan Hung, Chan Shu Kei, Choi Kwok Keung, Ha Kwok Wing, Ha Kwok-Wing
Running Time: 101 min.

By Joe909

Back in Spring semester of 1994, my friends and I started up a weekly kung-fu movie night. One of our favorite flicks to watch was Two Champions of Shaolin. In fact, once we had a viewing with the college basketball team. These were hardcore dudes, mostly from the inner city, Brooklyn especially, guys who started a riot when our campus cable provider lost the BET network.

I remember they were mesmerized by Two Champions, and it’s easy to see why. This movie has a total charm, even if it’s shallow as far as plot and storytelling go, and even if head Venom Kuo Choi is nowhere to be found onscreen. But what it lacks in those areas is made up for by a total, unabashed desire to thrill the viewer with acrobatic displays of martial fortitude and blood-drenched violence. For God’s sake, a guy’s balls get ripped off in this movie.

One thing always mentioned in reviews for this film is that Kuo Choi chose not to appear in it, due to a falling out with Lu Feng, over who was going to become the lead choreographer. Kuo remained behind the scenes, acting as fight instructor; this was balanced out when Lu Feng didn’t appear in the next Venoms film, Ode To Gallantry. Kuo Choi generally took the lead role in the Venoms movies, but his absence doesn’t harm this film at all. In fact, it gives co-Venoms Lo Meng and Sun Chien a chance to shine.

The story is a myriad of revenge schemes; everyone in this movie wishes to kill someone. It opens with Lo Meng, a Manchu by birth who’s been raised at Shaolin after his parents were killed by fellow Manchu, leaving the Temple to get his revenge. The Wu-Tang clan, Shaolin’s rival, has aligned with the Manchu, and so Lo has to watch his back out in the real world. Lo discovers this real quick, as he’s attacked in broad daylight by a knife-wielding Wu-Tang fighter (Yu Tai-Ping, the only actor who was in all of the Venoms films).

Lo barely manages to get away alive. He stumbles into a house owned by noble warrior Sun Chien and his cute but deadly sister, Yeung Jing-Jing. Turns out these two have specialized in a style that counters the Wu-Tang knife-throwing technique; this style was taught to them by their father, an influential man who was, coincidentally, killed by Yu Tai-Ping. So these two are also seeking revenge. Lo goes back out into the city to take on Yu, and there he meets Chiang Sheng, who plays the role of Hu Hui-Gan (the same role Chi Kuan-Chun played in Men from the Monastery), a Shaolin rebel famed for his skills. The two hit it off.

They lure Yu back to Sun Chien’s place, where the four of them waste the poor bastard and his cronies. Now the Wu-Tang, lead by Yu’s brother Wang Li, want revenge. Only one of them stays distant from all of the vengeance, however: young Chien Hsao-Hao, in a role originally intended for Kuo Choi. He plays a young man who was raised by the Wu-Tang after his family was killed by the goddamn Manchu. Instead of vengeance, he just wants peace with his fellow Chinese, and understands why Shaolin is rebelling against these foreign Chings. His Wu-Tang brothers ignore his pleas.

The best part of the movie arrives with a tournament between the top Wu-Tang fighters and Chiang Sheng and Lo Meng. Squaring off in one-on-one combat, this segment of the film makes the Mortal Kombat movie look like the cheesy sh*t it was. Lots of carnage on display here, including the aforementioned ball-ripping. After killing more enemies, Lo and Yeung decide to get married. But weddings never go well this early in a film; Wang Li and his comrades launch an attack, with the departed Yu’s daughter Candy Wen arriving to gain vengeance personally, wasting Lo’s brand-new wife in cold blood. Lots of lives are lost here, and Lo’s taken captive. Chiang Sheng, meanwhile, is in a drunken stupor and misses everything.

Back at Wu-Tang, Chien Hsao-Hao manages to keep his brothers from murdering Lo, and then helps him escape. Lo then runs into Lu Feng, who, unbeknownst to Lo, is a Manchu assassin sent here to kill the Shaolin rebels. The movie gets a bit dry here, with Lu seemingly wanting to feed every human being he comes across. Finally Lu sets his trap, and we’re treated to a finale that ranks up there with the best Venoms climax, despite Kuo Choi’s absence. We have dudes in monkey masks, poisonous darts, massive spears, metal hoops, brains getting bashed out, and opponents being broken in half at the waist.

There are only two things that keep this movie from being perfect. One, the downward spiral that occurs directly after Lo Meng’s wedding. The preceding hour is awesome entertainment, and every time I watch this half of the movie I can’t believe how good it all is. But after that it’s obvious Chang’s killing time until the finale. This leads to the second problem: It seems that Kuo’s departure really messed up the script, and instead of rewriting everything they just cut down the time devoted to his intended character. The ending was also affected, of course; I highly doubt Kuo Choi would be as little involved in the final battle as Chien Hsao-Hao is. However, one thing that distinguishes this from other Chang movies is that there are no clear-cut villains, other than Lu Feng. Wang Li, for example, has as much a right to vengeance as our “heroes” Lo Meng and Sun Chien, as does the wife-killing Candy Wen.

Regardless of the middle-half slump, this is a great movie. The costuming, sets, and choreography are all the usual Venoms quality. The costumes are different than the normal Chang Cheh kung-fu garb; everyone wears silk kung-fu uniforms. The Wu-Tang get the coolest clothes, with nice black and white patterns. I’m also impressed by the tournament stage, which is a large platform that’s encircled by paintings of dragons. Weapons used are nice and bizarre; there’s a part at the end where Chiang Sheng tells his men to “bring the weapons.” You might expect swords or spears, but the guys come out with hoops and a metal baton.

The Celestial remastered release is the usual flawless presentation. I can’t believe how well they’ve cleaned up these old classics. I recommend all Venoms/Shaw Brothers fans to seek this movie out, despite the fact that Kuo Choi was too busy sulking to appear in it.

Joe909’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |
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