The Box aka Hako DVD (Pathfinder)

The Box aka Hako DVD (Pathfinder)

The Box aka Hako DVD (Pathfinder)

The Box reflects on the relation between humanity, technology and nature through dream-like sequences – of an old craftsmanwho makes machines from rocks, his death, which transforms his village into a wasteland, and a box with a mind of its own and a secret inside – Hong Kong International Film Festival

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Tale of Two Sisters, A (2003) Review

"A Tale of Two Sisters" Korean Theatrical Poster

“A Tale of Two Sisters” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Kim Ji Woon
Writer: Kim Ji Woon
Cast: Im Su-Jeong, Mun Geun-Yeong, Yeom Jeong-A, Kim Gap-Su, Park Mi-Hyeon, Wu Gi-Hong
Running Time: 115 min.

By JJ Hatfield

A Tale of Two Sisters is a finely crafted work of art from the skilled hands of Kim Jee-woon. Kim not only directed the film but wrote the screen play as well. This is beautiful and imaginative in a very subdued fashion. It is also a film that will scare the hell out of you, more than once.

Opening the film is a brief scene in a hospital. Though a doctor asks questions the viewer wants to know this is just the beginning of the mystery. There are no simple explanations and the answers do not come easily if they come at all.

We see the two young sisters being driven home by their father. No mention is made of the previous scene and the girls seem just like any other sisters. They slowly pull into an isolated lakeside house in the country. It’s a gorgeous sunny day and the girls run towards the lake, ignoring their father who calls them to the house. Just like any two slightly mischievous young sisters. They are not just sisters but also best friends.

I am purposefully avoiding much of the plot and events in A Tale of Two Sisters. There is simply no way to be in depth without spoilers, and this film, if any film should not have spoilers.

It really wouldn’t help for the viewer to know as different people perceive this in various ways. Ignore those who say they “have the movie figured out”. There are multiple layers in this complex story.

The father is distant, the stepmother chilly and sharp tongued. The sisters are virtually inseparable with Su-mi being the oldest acting as protector for Su-yeon. The sisters are on the screen the majority of the time. Sometimes it is difficult to tell which sister it is for a fraction of a second. At times they could be any other sisters anywhere, but odd incidents have a way of turning into terrifying experiences.

This film will pull you in and make you part of it. Tension rising subtly, almost undetectable at first. Further along your heartbeat slightly increases – you have already become involved in a personal way, you are right there with the characters, a part of the mystery.

This is a taught psychological thriller that will keep you thinking about it for a long time. It is a woven film tapestry of the human mind and behaviors. From tension to anxiousness to suffocating the viewer will feel it all.

The cinematography is absolutely excellent from a sunshine filled day to a flash of… something. Lee Mo-gae was the cinematographer and he definitely has a great eye for how to set up a scene.

This film will keep you on the edge of your seat, sometimes even holding your breath. As the film progresses you see more and more small little areas of the house and it works as a symbol for the increasingly complex and even sometimes confusing story. The tension mounts until your throat feels dry and you have a definite urge to look behind you!

This is one hell of a scary movie!

Though not a horror film with chain saws and buckets of blood this film delivers over and over again. Not just a few scenes but the entire film is a work of art and a fine example of how to keep the viewer not only interested but tight muscled as the tension increases.

The cast does an excellent job, especially Su-mi (Lim Su-jeong). The original music by Lee Byung-woo is absolutely perfect for this great film. The score adds much to the feel of uneasiness.

It’s nearly impossible to translate what you are experiencing in to a nice labeled box. The entire film is subject to interpretation. People eventually decide what to make of A Tale of Two Sisters but don’t worry too much about those (did I just see…?) moments. Some will be explained – some will not. It’s a mandatory re-watch so you can focus more on the story line and just watch the first time.

The film is loosely inspired by the Korean folk tale, “Janghwa, Hongryeon”. This is not a spoiler because there is no similarity in the story line. Plus I doubt many have read or seen numerous films supposedly based on the mythology, all different except for the (reviewer spits) ripmake I won’t even mention.

Kudos to Kim Jee-woon, the wonderful actors and great crew!

A fantastic, mesmerizing film that is a must see!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 9.5/10


By Monkey Goddess

Going in, I didn’t really know what to expect of this movie, aside from the fact that it had a favourable write-up and that it was recommended by a friend who said to check it out. After watching it, I am glad I got a chance to catch this excellent Korean movie.

The movie focuses in on two sisters who arrive home from the hospital to greet their stepmother. As the movie progresses, it is revealed that the sisters do not like their stepmother at all and are very much against what she says and does, especially the older sister Su-mi. The stepmother can also sense this based on their behaviour and attitude. In retaliation, she turns against them (at one point, she tells the sisters’ father that they bring her misery).

Although it is slow moving at times, there are several scenes that will jolt you out of your seat and are quite horrifying, to say the least. These scenes were especially striking due to the accompanying strings evoking horror and fright. From my experience watching this movie (which was at a film festival), it was a bit difficult to understand certain scenes, and I might have to watch it again just to understand completely what it was all about. Overall, there was good chemistry between all the actors, especially Im Soo-Jung and Moon Geun-Young, who portrayed the two sisters. Regarding the actress who played the evil stepmother (as someone mentioned on a website review), Yeom Jeong-Ah is definitely the Asian equivalent of Glenn Close; very menacing, and not very likeable. Lastly, I would have liked to have seen Kim Gap-Su, the father, appear in more scenes, but as this movie is mainly about the relationship between the mother and her two stepdaughters, I understood the small role presented.

Monkey Goddess’ Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , |

One-Armed Swordsman, The (1967) Review

"The One-Armed Swordsman" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The One-Armed Swordsman” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chang Cheh
Producer: Runme Shaw
Cast: Jimmy Wang Yu, Pan Yingzi, Chiao Chiao, Wong Chung Shun, Tin Fung, Guk Fung, Liu Chia Liang, Yeung Chi Hing, Chen Yan Yan, Fan Mei Sheng, Wong Kwong Yue, Tong Gaai, Gai Yuen, Cliff Lok, Yen Shi-Kwan
Running Time: 110 min.

By JJ Hatfield

When I first saw this film I was certain it would be bad. Absolutely terrible. I have seen enough one – limb – missing and other disability type fighting/ cripples/ hunchbacks/ missing a leg (flashback to Dragon Fist) and there are more than a few one-arm missing movies. I did not believe it could be entertaining with a guy trying to hide his arm, unsuccessfully, as he fought bravely or whatever.

Well, after people stopped telling me I would see God if I watched this, I decided to view it. While I didn’t see any deities, I am very glad I watched the film. A Chang Cheh-directed and co-written (with Kuang Ni) Shaw Bros. production, it is one of the better movies when it comes to swordplay and martial arts. The film is loosely based upon a Chinese novel The Return of the Condor Heroes, the second of a three series story by Jin Yong. (There are now many more books in the series). If you are familiar with the books there is more variety of violence in the novel compared to the movie.

Everything is going well at the Golden Sword School where students learn the “Chi” form of kung fu. From out of nowhere, chaos erupts as the school is attacked by vicious bandits from another clan. Ambushed, they had no time to prepare, and many were injured or killed. When the attack turns on the Master himself, a heroic student saves him, knowing he would lose his life instead. The Master is overwhelmed with such a sacrifice. The dying student asks for only one thing: to take in and care for his young son Feng Gang (Jimmy Wang Yu) and to train him in the school’s form. The Master says he will honor the wish.

Time passes and Feng grows up to be a talented student. Unfortunately, he is teased and mocked by the other students because of his relationship to the school Master. The other students are jealous, because they think he does not work as hard nor is he very good at fighting. They try to get him into fights, but he wants no part of it. He is alone and miserable, with no one he can talk to. Depressed, he decides to leave the school. Just as he is nearly safe from the assholes at school, they suddenly confront him. It does not go well for Feng, and his right arm is sliced from his body.

Almost miraculously, he lives and the film slows down a bit as Feng begins to heal with the help of a young woman (Xiaoman). Regaining his health is difficult and depressing for him. How can he ever fight again without an arm?

Xiaoman is at her wit’s end. She has found nothing to bring him out of his depression. Reluctantly she gives him something that may separate them forever.

The third act is full of tension martial arts, sword work, and all kinds of weapons. I am not a huge fan of Wang Yu, but he really came across more talented than most of his other films. Wang Yu has never had any formal training in martial arts. He essentially bought/favored his way in whether he could fight or not. Fortunately, he really pulls off an amazing performance, both in acting and fighting. For those wanting bloody, hard hitting action, you will not be disappointed!

However, there is more to the film than the violence. I credit Cheh with making the characters seem real, as if they weren’t just walking through the part saying lines. The viewer does get enough character development to feel concern, especially for Feng.

The cinematography is as good as it gets for the time period. They didn’t have any fancy equipment to work with, but there are occasional scenes that are simply stunning. The martial arts sequences are a bit slow, but it’s not obtrusive.

This was the first HK film to make $1 million (HK) at the box office. This insured Wang Yu was a hot property.

Cheh was one hell of a master when it comes to films and this movie is one more of his excellent and highly entertaining works!

There is a surprise in the ending. I will only say a number of Shaw movies are just stopped at the end, this one has a resolution. The viewer doesn’t know if it’s good or bad, until they watch this great Chang Cheh directed and molded film!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 8.5/10


By Mighty Peking Man

When the Golden Sword School is attacked, a student sacrifices his life to defend his teacher and peers. In return for his heroic efforts, the teacher of the school promises to accept the dying man’s only son, Feng, as a student. Years later, Feng (a much older version, played by Jimmy Wang Yu), now the school’s most skilled student is an outcast. Other students are jealous of the extra treatment Feng gets from their teacher, so they constantly make fun of – and pick fights – with him every chance they get. On a snowy night – just as Feng decides to leave the school, blaming himself for the others’ attitudes towards him – he crosses paths with the mean-spirited students. They insist on challenging him, Feng rejects and in the process, his right arm is sliced off.

Feng manages to escape and is rescued by a farm girl, who aids in healing him. However, Feng is depressed, especially when he learns how helpless he is without his right arm. He soon gains hope and starts practicing a new method of fighting, which consists of his dad’s broken sword and a mysterious martial arts manual that is half-burned. Using the skills he has learned from his school, the mysterious manual, and adapting to the fact that he only has one arm, he develops his own unique style and becomes one of the most deadly fighters in the martial world.

Feng’s skill is put to the test when he learns that his old school is, once again, under attack by the same evil clan, opposing an even larger threat than ever before…

While everyone was rushing into theatres watching Jet Li fly around like a multicolored Peter Pan in “Hero,” I was sitting at home in my underwear, watching a film called “One-Armed Swordsman” – directed by Chang Cheh and starring Jimmy Wang Yu, at their ultimate best. It’s films like these that redefined the martial arts genre, even a few years before Bruce Lee would add his own touch. Yeah, it was made in 1968 and the fight scenes were not exactly swift and technical compared to today’s standards; but I can tell you right now, this film has more balls and feels more like a martial arts movie than any overproduced Yuen Woo Ping-ized and/or Ching Siu Tung-ized flick in the last 5 or so years.

I forgive Jimmy Wang Yu for “Killer Meteors” and “Fantasy Mission Force.” In fact, even his most noted post-Shaw Brothers classics like “Master of the Flying Guillotine” are shit in disguise compared to what he offers us in “One-Armed Swordsman.” Sure, he’s one of the most unskilled on-screen fighters of all time (in fact, he’s never had any formal martial arts training at all). He’s also one of the most notorious (“They call them Triads…” – Stanley White). Wang Yu’s performance in this film is stellar; and it’s no wonder why he practically became a household name and one of Shaw Brothers’ most valuable properties. Robbed by Bruce? Probably not. Underrated achievement? I’d say so. Basically, if you want to see the role that Jimmy Wang Yu was probably born to play, look no further.

And what’s there to say about director Chang Cheh that I haven’t already said in past reviews? The guy was a fucking filmmaking genius, plain and simple. “One-Armed Swordsman” is just another example of a solid, action-packed classic that can only be done the way Chang Cheh can.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , |

My Fair Lady aka Yojo Lady, The Perfect Girl DVD Set (Tai Seng)

My Fair Lady DVD Set (Tai Seng)

My Fair Lady DVD Set (Tai Seng)

RELEASE DATE: June 28, 2011

My Fair Lady, also known as Yojo Lady or The Perfect Girl, is a South Korean television drama produced and first broadcast by SBS in 2003. Yojo Lady has a total of 16 episodes in this series, and is a remake of the Japanese drama series Yamatonadeshiko.Check out the trailer.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Teahouse, The | aka The Tea House (1974) Review

"The Teahouse" Chinese Theatrical Poster

"The Teahouse" Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Kuei Chih Hung
Writer: Sze To On
Producer: Runme Shaw
Cast: Chen Kuan Tai, Yeung Chi Hing, Lee Sau Kei, Karen Yip Ling Chi, Ha Ping, Cheung Chok Chow, Shum Lo, Fung King Man, Chung Chaan Chi, Yeung Chak Lam, Wong Yu, Chan Laap Ban, Chan Mei Hua, Chan Shen, Ching Gong, Fan Mei Sheng
Running Time: 96 min.

By JJ Hatfield

“The Teahouse” is a story on film more than a movie. It begins rather peacefully and simply about rather ordinary people in increasingly complex to dire circumstances. This is a beautiful dramatic piece of work directed by Kuei Chih Hung. There were a tremendous number of people in the cast though many have short time on screen.

This is one of the few films I have seen in the general genre that is actually fully explored. Chen Kuan Tai (Big Brother) Wang Chen is a good man living in increasingly bad times. Despite that the has managed to take his work from a street vendor to a (modern day) restaurant he named “The Teahouse.”

Unfortunately the area had become vioelnce ridden with every kind of crime possible. Before long the people may as well be living in a war zone.

Wang Cheng has always been helpful to people and the villagers seek out his assistance. Big Brother has already made a decision.

The cast put forth a lot of effort into acting, including Chen Kuan Tai. The characters are fleshed out so that you really begin to care about them. Present in the film are the same as in real life – love, passion, romance, anger, joy, sorrow, ecstasy and pain. One of the finest features of this film is the deliverance of some very powerful performances by a very dedicated cast and crew.

The original story was written by Chiang Chih Nan and in some places Sze To On (same person?) is listed as the writer. The story line is simple enough at first but increases in tone and pace as events take place.

Chen kuan Tai is an excellent fighter but this is not a martial arts film! If that’s all the viewer wants skip this wonderful experience. There is action to be sure and some of it is quite savagely realistic however this is a movie not a “kick ass martial madness flick”. The action comes more as a part of life and choices. There is much I could say about the plot but I won’t. The viewer needs to experience this film from a fresh angle.

The cinematography by Yu Chi is beautiful capturing the rays of the sun or an intimate moment filmed as if the camera dose not want to intrude.

Action director Tony Ching Siu Tun had his hands full with the action!

I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful this film truly is and it might just change how you think about “action” films. This film is a well rounded treasure everyone needs to see!

Recommendation: A Must See!!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , |

Last Kung Fu Monk DVD (Screen Media)

Last Kung Fu Monk DVD (Screen Media)

Last Kung Fu Monk DVD (Screen Media)

RELEASE DATE: September 6, 2011

A Kung-Fu Monk comes to the States to take care of his deceased brother’s son. While setting up a school and learning about life in the US, he becomes embroiled in an underground fighting club in order to save the lives of his friends. Check out the amazing trailer!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Baker King aka Bread, Love and Dreams, King of Baking DVD (Tai Seng)

Baker King aka Bread, Love and Dreams, King of Baking DVD (Tai Seng)

Baker King aka Bread, Love and Dreams, King of Baking DVD (Tai Seng)

RELEASE DATE: June 28, 2011

High Kick Through the Roof’s breakout star Yoon Si Yoon makes his leading man debut as the eponymous hero, a hot-blooded young man with a nose for baking and a propensity for trouble. Baker King, Kim Tak Goo co-stars Eugene, Lee Young Ah, acclaimed actor Chun Kwang Ryul, and newcomer Joo Won as Tak Goo’s stepbrother and rival. Check out the trailer to this Award-winning Korean series.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Coen Brothers Blu-ray Collection: Blood Simple, Miller’s Crossing, Raising Arizona and Fargo (Fox)

Coen Brothers Blu-ray Collection: Blood Simple, Miller's Crossing, Raising Arizona and Fargo (Fox)

Coen Brothers Blu-ray Collection: Blood Simple, Miller's Crossing, Raising Arizona and Fargo (Fox)

RELEASE DATE: August 30, 2011

This Coen Brothers Blu-ray Collection contains: Blood Simple (1984), Miller’s Crossing (1990), Raising Arizona (1987) and Fargo (1996).

Trailers: Blood Simple | Miller’s Crossing | Raising Arizona | Fargo

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

For a Few Dollars More Blu-ray (MGM)

For a Few Dollars More Blu-ray (MGM)

For a Few Dollars More Blu-ray (MGM)

RELEASE DATE: August 2, 2011

Previously only available on the Blu-ray set. From Sergio Leone! This time the Man with No Name (Clint Eastwood) is a bounty hunter whose desert Southwest killing ground is suddenly crowded by the presence of an older, black-clad shootist (Lee Van Cleef). Check out the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

A Fistful of Dollars Blu-ray (MGM)

A Fistful of Dollars Blu-ray (MGM)

A Fistful of Dollars Blu-ray (MGM)

RELEASE DATE: August 2, 2011

Previously only available on the Blu-ray set. Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars launched the spaghetti Western and catapulted Clint Eastwood to stardom. Based on Akira Kurosawa’s 1961 samurai picture Yojimbo, it scored a resounding success (in Italy in 1964 and the U.S. in 1967), as did its sequels, For a Few Dollars More and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Check out the trailer here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Spiritual Kung Fu | aka Karate Bomber (1978) Review

"Spiritual Kung Fu" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Spiritual Kung Fu" Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Karate Ghostbuster
Director: Lo Wei
Writer: Poon Lui
Producer: Lo Wei
Cast: Jackie Chan, James Tien Chun, Mo Man Sau, Lee Tung Chun, Lee Kwan, Dean Shek Tien, Ko Keung, Lee Hoi Lung, Lee Man Tai, Wong Kwong Yue, Yuen Biao
Running Time: 91 min.

By JJ Hatfield

Spiritual Kung Fu is an odd mix of virtually no plot, infantile Lo Wei humor and some fantastic action. Whether or not the viewer will be able to tolerate what comes before the action is an unknown.

Jackie plays Ye-Lang a young man who has lived his life at the Shaolin Monastery. He is of course very naughty, lazy, the typical uncooperative however Lo Wei seemed to go out of his way to force Jackie into some of the worst comedic crap ever. Let’s see we have Ye-Lang stuffing small wildlife in his pants (frogs, eels, fish, who knows), a ton of not funny “spiritual” jokes, trying to deceive a blind Shaolin Master. I better stop there as I would just hate to spoil any giggles for anyone.

There is something of a plot and actually a couple of betrayal and twists. An ancient text “The Five Fists” or “Five Star Fists” (don’t quote me the subtitles kept changing). This is one of “those” ancient texts which contains some sort of un-defeatable form or style. Ye- Lang happens to discover this old kung fu manual and also has five spirits he forces to teach him. Last word on warnings – the five ghosts wear white leotards and tights with little white tutu’s and sport bright orange hair.

The movie will be progressing okay and then suddenly we have Ye-Lang asking if an obvious female is a girl. Oh come on. No wonder the men in movies with women running around pretending to be guys are fooled!

There are maddening moments when action is interrupted but for the most part the fighting is solid with a cameo at the very end by… Find out for yourself.

This is not a classic but definitely worth a least one viewing.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 5.5/10


By Amir

Wow, this one is really sad. The so-called ghost effects are Z rated. The fights are decent I suppose, but nothing worth having to sit through everything else in between.

Amir’s Rating: 0/10


By Master of the Stick

Well, this wasn’t a great movie by any means, but it was better than I expected. I haven’t seen many of those Lo Wei films that everybody loves to gripe about, but this one’s okay by me. The fights were a little choppy, but they were pretty solid overall. I especially liked when Jackie had to pass the tests in order to leave the temple. Nothin’ beats a good, long, stick-fight! Unfortunately, the ghosts had flaming red hair, and on my dubbed copy, the actors’ voices bugged the hell out of me. One really cool thing about this movie, though: The five animal styles that the ghosts teach Jackie are the same five that Lei Wu Long uses in Tekken 3! Almost all of Lei’s moves are taken directly from Jackie Chan films, and I love finding movies where I can pick them out. If you can get past some corny-looking ghosts, give Spiritual Kung Fu a try.

Master of the Stick’s Rating: 6/10 (7/10 if you’re a Tekken fanatic like me)


By Rintor

5 guys in white unitards with long bright red hair scare me more than some psycho wielding an axe. If I had been Jackie I wouldn’t have pissed on them, they might’ve liked that. I would have used my Drunken Praying Mantis style and kicked all their @$$es. Was it me, or were those 5 ghosts always grabbing the men in the movie. Probably, Lo “Down” Wei did direct it. With the fruity ghosts aside this movie did have some humorous parts in it. And hey, it was better than Fantasy Mission Farce. Those cheesy effects were horrible. At least this time Joseph Yana didn’t kick down my door and say this was a 12/10. (We’re only safe from him for so long.) If you want to see a cheesy Kung fu movie from the 70’s I recommend this movie.

Rintor’s Rating: 6/10


By Numskull

For a Lo Wei movie, this ain’t bad, but when somebody releases a Limited Edition Collector’s Series of Jackie’s all-time greatest movies (you know, like the inserts in TV Guide), it’s doubtful that it will be included (unless Joseph Yana is in charge of selecting the titles…”Act now and the widescreen-format edition of FANTASY MISSION FORCE is yours for just $4.95 plus $25.00 shipping & handling. Other hits, such as MASTER WITH CRACKED FINGERS and James Glickenhaus’ original director’s cut of THE PROTECTOR will follow at a rate of one video every six weeks for $19.95 each plus shipping charges. Send in your order today!”). Jackie meets up with five bimbos in makeup who are unable to speak in even a half-way intelligent manner (gee, if this movie weren’t so old, I could swear they were the Spice Girls!). The fighting is OK, but the last of it would have been better off without the Spice-mime-spirit-bitches pawing at the bad guy (I’m not sure if they’re intentionally restricting his movement of if they’re just trying to get him out of his clothes in a frenzy of animal lust brought on by his big bald head). There is little else to say about this movie so here’s where I stop (I use lot’s of parentheticals, no?).

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10


By Andrew

Hmmm, I thought that this film was kind of funny in a Disneyland haunted house-esque kind of way. It could have been better if the ghosts looked like something other than funky kabuki dancers. Of course the scene where Jackie urinates on them to get them out of the corner of the room made sense… actually I think that kind of defines the whole film. Oh yeah, there’s some fighting too.

Andrew’s Rating: 5/10


By Dave Bell

We were getting ready to check out our latest Jackie Chan rental, “Spiritual Kung Fu” down at Crazy Willie’s 24 Hour Bistro and Diesel Station (on South Palo Verde) when my buddy Phil chimed in. One thing you have to know about Phil is that he never talks. Ever. And if you ask him a question, his response is always the same. “I dunno.”

He’s said the same thing all his life. “Hey Phil, you want to go see a movie or go putt-putt golfing?”

“I dunno. Maybe a movie.”

“Phillip, what is the capital of Oklahoma?”

“I dunno, Ms. Thornton. $1.95?”

“Phil, do you take Louise to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I dunno. Yeah, I guess.”

Maybe that’s why his marriage lasted only six months. Anyway, Phil chimed in before anybody talked to him. “I was thinking that Jackie Chan is like Batman.” That’s the other thing about Phil. Just because he doesn’t talk much doesn’t mean that the few things he says will be profound. “I’m serious. He’s like the pinnacle of human physical perfection. He’s built himself up and can do things others can’t, like Batman. He should play a super hero in a movie.” Are you serious? “I dunno.”

Anyway we watched “Spiritual King Fu” in which Jackie carries a saw horse with some bowls of water until this guy that looks like the dude that called David Caradine ‘grasshopper’ on Kung Fu said, “Hey check out my curve ball” and whacks Jackie on the bean. Later Jackie pulls guard duty in this temple that looks just like this cool Chinese restaurant in Snowflake Michigan that we got kicked out of once because we got drunk and started to play table hockey with the egg rolls, and is broken into by a ninja guy who steals the dummies to the latest Stephen King novel.

The leader of temple is upset because he hasn’t read the book yet so he says he’s going into the basement for contemplation over his failure and to finish off that shaker amoire that he saw on the New Yankee Workshop last week. Jackie gets three days in the cooler for not defending the temple along with the other guys that got ninja whupped. So Jackie figures he has to make up for lost time in the eating department by making his disgusting frog/chicken/eel/fish stew. So he gets naked and catches the fish and stuffs the frogs and eels down his pants (amphibian love!) and makes like the Frugal Gourmet. But grasshopper guy flips out and makes Jackie write “I will not eat invertebrates” 1,000 times on the blackboard with this giant pen that Gallagher used in his act once.

Meanwhile Ninja guy reads the book and says, “This sucks worse than Christine!” and tells his son, Ninja Jr. that he has to learn 7 fist style Kung Fu and beat up the guys at Bantam Books for giving King the advance. Back at the temple, some punk rock space alien ghosts smash in and freak the place out except for Jackie who can make his chest look just like the Time Tunnel, but not before they try to pants Jackie and give him a wedgie. Jackie tells them that they are pissing him off and he proves it, literally. Then Jackie finds a Barbara Cartland book that the punk rock ghosts live in and he makes them teach him the 5 in 1 style of Kung Fu and all about being an unfaithful wife and evil twin brother.

While this is going on Ninja Jr. has been going through the WBA circuit with a record of 29-0 all by K.O. He takes the title but still needs to unify the heavyweight crown. While Ninja Jr.’s out making pay-per-view deals, the leader of the Wu Tang Clan comes to the temple and says “We’re number 16 with a bullet on the Billboard charts!” and lets Jackie show his daughter around the place. Jackie tries to sneak a kiss and gets purse fu’d by the girl. So Jackie does some Rocky-style training, slaps on some Hi Karate after shave, and gets good enough to beat the girl.

Jackie goes mental and tries to spank her but she gets all huffy and says “I’m not into S&M unless I can be the dom. Call me Mistress Wu Tang, dog!” but her father dies before the movie goes porno. Ninja Jr. has now got both the WBA and IBF titles and only needs to whack the Wu Tang guys to unify. Jackie wants to find the guy that stole the book so he tells grasshopper guy that he wants to leave the temple and search. Grasshopper guy says that first Jackie has to beat up all the monks with a pair of police batons so Jackie makes like the LAPD and Rodney King’s them all. Ninja Jr. takes on Wu Tang’s daughter for the unified title but Jackie shows up and proceeds to get his butt whipped making Ninja Jr. the heavyweight champion of the world. Wu Tang tells him he can get his championship belts at the temple because they needed to be let out. So Ninja Jr. comes along and the grasshopper guy realizes that Ninja Jr. stole the Steven King book and says “Because of you, I had to read Cujo again!”

So Jackie has a rematch with him and they Rocky-Apollo Creed all over the courtyard. But Ninja Jr.’s buddy thinks it’s the WWF and jumps in like the Undertaker without tagging, so Jackie tells him that steroids kills and shows him how. Then Jackie takes out Ninja Jr. with the 5 in 1 style. Then, in a surprise move, it turns out that Ninja Sr. is a monk in disguise and says this whole vow of chastity thing blows and starts to kick Jackie butt. But the punk rock space alien ghosts show up and they help Jackie play Ina Godda Divida on Ninja Sr.’s chest and Jackie is the new unified heavyweight champion of the world, or at least the temple.

I liked this movie. Somebody finally figured out that less is more and there wasn’t a whole lot of Kung Fu. that made the fight scenes really memorable and showed how difficult they really were. There was some story and I almost lost it with the punk rock space alien ghosts, but the whizzing scene kept me in. Plus Jackie had at least one fart scene. You just can’t go wrong with zany bodily function fu. And Phil? “I dunno.”

Dave Bell’s Rating: 7/10


By Dusty

This movie was cool. I disagree that this is your average Kung Fu flick, because there are ghosts! The ghostly effects are really bad, but that just adds to the overall charm of this movie. Jackie learns some cool things in here like the Tiger Claw, and 4 others that I can’t remember offhand… maybe a crane. Probably a snake, too. And they make sounds for all of the styles of Kung Fu. It’s cool. The ghosts themselves don’t really look like ghosts at all. Rather just people with flour all over them. Still a good movie.

Dusty’s Rating: 8/10


By Stuart Gallagher

A typical early Jackie movie, concentrating on the Shoalin Temple and different fighting styles. It has lots of solid Kung Fu for the lovers of the sport, but not so many stunts and wacky humour of the more recent Jackie movies. Look for the great simularity to Shaolin Wodden Men: Same setting, actors, caves and dungens and even has a great chunk of footage that is identical (of Jackie catching his dinner). Not as good as many of his later movies.

Stuart Gallagher’s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1978) Review

"Half a Loaf of Kung Fu" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Half a Loaf of Kung Fu” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chan Chi Hwa
Cast: Jackie Chan, James Tien Chun, Doris Lung Chung Erh, Gam Ching Lan, Kam Kong, Lee Hoi Lung, Miu Tin, Dean Shek Tien, Julie Lee Chi Lun, Che Dei
Running Time: 92 min.

By Stockton22

And so the debate rages on. Is this movie a flawed but entertaining transition film, or a completely forgettable mess? Well, I have to say that with a starting point of low expectations, I enjoyed this one, but it’s clearly the work of someone who’s still honing his craft. Well, we all have to start somewhere. This Lo Wei production is actually the first time he let Jackie have creative control over a film project. In fact, Lo thought so highly of Jackie’s artistic vision that he refused to release the film (until Jackie became a star a few years later of course). And it really wasn’t too much of a loss. Much of the attempts at humor are quite feeble, revolving around guys who stutter, twitch, pass gas and all the other sophisticated stuff you’d see in a “USA Up All Night movie” (xcept without nude scenes that need to be cut out which rob those flicks of their only purpose).

As with much of the period, the funniest bits are the ones that aren’t supposed to be funny. Why does it take the thieves in the restaurant about half a day to figure out that Jackie robbed them, when he patted them down minutes before they realized their money was gone? Well, presumably, the thief used the same powers of deduction figuring out that one as he did when he chose to wear the gold lamé cape (unless he was planing to make a stop at Studio 54 afterwards). Well, I could be exaggerating about the time frame. After all, time passes very quickly in the land of Half a Loaf. Anyone else notice that when Jackie first sees the real Whip Hero, it’s nighttime, then they’re in daylight a minute later?

Anytime a film has the same production values as Plan 9 from Outer Space, it’s time to throw in another buck or two. But my favorite line is from the bad guy who was pretending to be good until his cover’s blown. “From now on, I’m gonna act like my real self.” I couldn’t tell if he needed a better script writer or a psychiatrist. What the movie has going for it, is with Jackie himself directing the fighting, their actually is some very entertaining action. True, the biggest drawback is that since Jackie plays a guy who doesn’t really know how to fight, guess what? Jackie doesn’t fight much in the movie! But Jackie give the rest of the cast plenty of jammin’ to do, and they do it well. They even had that guy who played meanie-jerkoff-can’t-do-so-he-teaches-dude-who-hates-Jackie from Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow and Drunken Master.

He can really fight! And it was cool to see him play a nice guy for a change (even though it was actually before those other ones). Still, Jackie learns to fight in time for the big finale, and it’s actually one of the better group rumbles that I’ve seen in a 70’s chopsocky flick. It includes everything from fighting babes, wigs used like nunchucks (that’s right, you gotta see that), and a pretty neat sequence where Jackie has to learn techniques on the spot from pages from an instruction book scattered on the ground during the big one on one showdown. But my biggest question about that one is, the rest of the enemies are gone, and all the good guys just stand and watch while the guy who couldn’t even fight half an hour ago (Like in Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow, Jackie learns fast) fights for his life against an evil master. Hello! A little help please!

Just one last question. The bum who teaches Jackie various styles makes me wonder, in these old chopsocky flicks, why are all the good kung fu masters beggars? They got some pretty talented vagabonds over in that country. Well, I guess kung fu mastery wasn’t a growth industry. No union, no job security, no comprehensive dental plan. Good thing the bums here in New York City aren’t like that, they’d probably get a little more insistent when they’re holding those ATM machine doors. On the other hand, with one of those guys on every corner you’d really see crime drop. Or not, people don’t really fight in the city (’cause people have guns here).

Stockton22’s Rating: 5/10


By JJ Hatfield

It has been said by a few sources that this movie was the beginning of Jackie Chan’s “comedy”. Well, if that much is true, thank goodness it was the beginning and he did improve! The director, Chan Chi Hwa allowed (or the Lo Wei company was passed out somewhere) Jackie to get some pay-back time on screen. The writer, Tang Ming Chi, didn’t seem to know what to so with this story, except insert bad jokes.

The movie begins with the well known black screen with Jackie mocking as many kung fu movies as possible. Shaolin and the monks… Jackie chopping wood… oh just about anything ever done including learning kung fu from a beggar and a book.

The title might have been better as Half a Load Of Kung Fu.

Unfortunately I just didn’t find it amusing. I’m sure Jackie was tired of making such films but why would he think we need one more? There is a bit more to the bare bones plot including Jackie still learning kung fu while taking on an escort assignment.

Some people enjoy this movie, and that’s good: someone likes this movie.

As for this reviewer, especially watching it again, I just did not find much to entertain.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 2/10


By Tyler

A very hammey and comedic film, and it’s from Lo Wei. I couldn’t believe Lo Wei would allow Jackie to do a comedic film, I thought Lo Wei was hung-up on “the next Bruce Lee crap.” I guess Lo Wei finally gave in, and let Jackie do his own thing. Well I bought this film from Simitar digitally remastered, and it also had an exclusive interview with Chan after the movie. I give Simitar a big plus for the remastering. Well, enough bragging on Simitar, the movie is basically a corny cheese ride through ancient China, yet a lot of fun. I laughed at the popeye scene when Jackie is dreaming. Down below I listed some of the highlights of Half a Loaf of Kung Fu.

  • One wig nunchucks
  • Egg throwing Kung Fu
  • Bird flying Jackie
  • Popeye Kung Fu
  • Whip Wielding guy
  • Pink hair guy
  • Farting beggar
  • Jackie Urinating
  • Bird sounds
  • Mop Top hair cuts
  • Fat gut bending bar
  • Mustache ripping

Tyler’s Rating: 7/10


By James H.

Somewhere I heard, or someone told me that this was Jackie’s first hit film. While being one of the best Lo Wei productions, it’s still a really bad movie. Maybe it was the dubbing (isn’t dubbing always the scapegoat? Well I guess subtitles can be too), but I didn’t really enjoy this movie. Although, it did have its moments. Unfortunately, those moments were at the beginning and at the end (go figure). Don’t get me wrong, it was a good attempt to mix action and comedy, but it just didn’t really work out. I thought that it was trying to be more of a comedy than a kung fu flick. But really, you can’t expect much from a movie called “Half a Loaf of Kung Fu?” And in my opinion, that’s what you get.

James H’s Rating: 5/10


By Marcia

The first time I saw this, having had a friend recommend it highly, all I could think was, “God, this is stupid!” By my next viewing, however, I’d seen many more of Jackie’s films and the sheer satire of it all had me rolling on the floor (of course, I did also have a couple beers in me…). Since one of the things which has always appealed to me most about Jackie’s early films is the training sequences, my absolute favorite part of Half a Loaf is when he’s going through his practice session and stops to go check out his notes before continuing. The entire film is non-stop self-mockery of the whole kung fu genre. Approach it as a film making fun of films, and you’ll love it.

Marcia’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Aliens vs. Avatars DVD (Tempe Video)

Aliens vs. Avatars DVD (Tempe Video)

Aliens vs. Avatars DVD (Tempe Video)

RELEASE DATE: September 20, 2011

LOL! Okay, I just had to share this one. It’s an obvious mix of Aliens, Avatar and even Predator; of course with an extremely low budget twist. Even has the mechs. =D

Dare to check out the trailer here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Marlowe (Bruce Lee) DVD (Warner)

Marlowe (Bruce Lee) DVD (Warner)

Marlowe (Bruce Lee) DVD (Warner)

RELEASE DATE: June 10, 2011

Remastered for the first time! Five-hundred bucks doesn’t come easily for private eye Philip Marlowe (James Garner). But when it comes by way of a bribe, it might as well be five cents. He rejects Winslow Wong (Bruce Lee) and his offer of cash…and Wong promptly karates the detective’s office into a junkpile… check out the trailer!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Limitless Blu-ray/DVD (Fox)

Limitless Blu-ray/DVD (Fox)

Limitless Blu-ray/DVD (Fox)

RELEASE DATE: July 19, 2011

One of the best films to come out of Hollywood! Yet 80% of America will skip it and watch “The Hangover 2” six times. Figures. Check out the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |