Muay Thai Giant | aka Somtum (2008) Review

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Z Ravas
"Muay Thai Giant" Thai Theatrical Poster

“Muay Thai Giant” Thai Theatrical Poster

Director: Nonthakorn Thaveesuk
Cast: Nathan Jones, Nawarat Techaratanaprasert, Sasisa Jindamanee, Chupong Changprung
Running Time: 99 min.

By HKFanatic

“Somtum” is something of a novelty film, a Thai action movie that I suspect a lot of people are either going to love or think is the corniest thing ever. Personally, I got a kick out of this movie. It’s the first headlining vehicle for Nathan Jones, a guy that you’ve probably seen at least once if you’ve watched any action flick in the past 20 years. He’s the 6’11” giant of a man who attacked Jackie Chan in his Australian apartment in “Police Story 4: First Strike”; rammed into Tony Jaa Juggernaut-style in “Tom Yum Goon”; and fought Jet Li in a wrestling ring in “Fearless.” Oh yeah, he was also quickly defeated by Brad Pitt in the opening scenes of “Troy,” but I’m pretty sure in a real fight Nathan Jones would turn Brad Pitt into glue paste.

In “Somtum,” Nathan Jones plays up the image of a “gentle giant”; he’s a non-violent, peace-loving Australian guy on vacation in Thailand. Shortly after arriving, he’s fed with drinks by a lovely local until he passes out. The next day, he wakes up with barely any clothes and, worse yet, his passport stolen. On the hunt for his missing papers, he runs into and befriends two young local sisters. Back at their mom’s restaurant, Jones samples the local Thai dish of the title, somtum, which looks to my Western eyes like a chopped salad with a ton of hot peppers tossed in. Upon eating it, Nathan turns into a red-tinted Hulk who can’t control his actions. He destroys the restaurant (not hard to do, since it’s basically a shanty) and finds his stay in Thailand further extended as a result: now not only does he have to locate his passport, he has to raise enough money to help rebuild the restaurant.

This simple set-up gives way to plenty of fun action scenes. Despite the American title of “Muay Thai Giant,” Nathan’s character a bit of a wuss who doesn’t like to fight, so expect to see him take more punches than he gives. The real star here is Sasisa Jindamanee, a junior national champion in Thai kickboxing who also starred in “Power Kids.” Despite her young age and petite frame, she is a true force to be reckoned with. She has plenty of great fights in and out of the ring, and her flying knee and elbow attacks keep the action quotient up for most of the film’s runtime. If anyone is looking for the next “Chocolate”-style breakout female action star from Thailand, my vote is definitely for Sasisa!

It’s only during the last 20 minutes that audiences get to see what they probably rented the movie for, and that’s Nathan Jones on a rampage. Thankfully, the climax of the movie does not disappoint. Jones is fed some more more somtum and turns into a rage-fueled monster. He fights two or three guys who are almost as big as himself in a knockout, drag-out fight. They suplex each other into truckbeds, whack each other with oil drums, and just generally dish out more punishment and pain than any real human being would be able to survive. Watch them crash through walls, strangle  and electrocute each other, and just keep on fighting. It’s almost like the old-school beat-em-up arcade game “Final Fight” brought to life. As long as you can suspend your disbelief, it’s a hell of a good time.

Also be on the lookout for an extended cameo and fight scene by Dan Chupong of “Dynamite Warrior” and “Born to Fight” fame. Beyond the admittedly great fight scenes, what makes “Somtum” endearing is the bond that Jones forms with Sassia and her sister. Some people may find that these scenes go on for too long (one scene of the two sisters crying on the beach does get pretty melodramatic), but it was nice to watch a Thai martial arts flick that actually cared enough to develop the characters and their relationships.

At the risk of sounding like a cheesy quote you’d read on the DVD box, “Somtum” has plenty of action, laughs, and heart to spare. It’s one of my favorite Thai flicks and proof there’s life beyond “Ong Bak.” Although the violence is hard-hitting and “R” rated, for once there’s no sexual content at all. Well, except for a scene where Nathan Jones has a waking nightmare about him being a go-go dancer. That I’m trying to forget about!

HKFanatic’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , , , |

Vengeance | aka Ekdikisi (2006) Review

Posted on June 26, 2011 by Z Ravas
"Vengeance" Chinese DVD Cover

"Vengeance" Chinese DVD Cover

AKA: Phairii Phinaat Paa Mawrana
Director: Pleo Sirisuwan
Cast: Nattanun Jantarawetch, Chalad Na Songkhla, Sorachai Sang-aakaat, Watchara Tangkaprasert, Nattaree Wiboonlert, Chirapat Wongpaisanlux
Running Time: 90 min.

By HKFanatic

“Vengeance” is a slick, commercial flick from Thailand with a decent plot hook: some dangerous bandits have escaped from prison (though we never actually see their big breakout) and headed into a mystical forest. A steely-eyed cop with a dark past is hot on their trail, along with his cadre of fellow policemen and a few locals who know the area.

Note to self: do not wander into the Thai jungle. If so, you put yourself at the risk of flesh-eating tiger wasps, killer Dwarf Caiman Crocodiles, seductive Fruit Maidens who will steal your soul mid-coitus, giant snakes that could eat an Anaconda for breakfast, and a whole village of people who aren’t so friendly during a full moon. Yeah, “Vengeance” is basically 90 minutes of silly, Thai-language fun. It’s not the fastest-paced film and the special FX are a bit “Sci-Fi Channel Movie,” but it’s got a certain charm to it, like a hot piece of pizza while you’re suffering a hangover.

Thailand has made a splash in recent years with their incredible martial arts movies, but this isn’t one of those. So despite some gunfights early on, don’t expect much one-on-one combat. “Vengeance” is more like an R-rated version of those Brendan Fraser “Mummy” movies from the 90’s, transported to the Thai jungle. There’s plenty of humor but I’m not sure how much of it was intentional on the part of the filmmakers. Some last minute plot twists are pretty crazy and give the whole movie this weird, cyclical ending that could be interpreted as Buddhist in philosophy.

Then again, I wouldn’t recommend that anyone think that hard about “Vengeance” (let alone about why it has that title). It’s a movie for people who would rather waste an evening watching a gonzo foreign b-movie over your typical Hollywood flick. Enter the jungle at your own risk.

HKFanatic’s Rating: The performance of the CG killer baby crocs: 10/10, the actual film: 5.5/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , |

Sanctuary, The | aka The Warrior’s Path (2009) Review

Posted on June 26, 2011 by Z Ravas
"The Sanctuary" Thai Theatrical Poster

"The Sanctuary" Thai Theatrical Poster

AKA: Sam Pan Boke
Director: Thanapon Maliwan
Writer: Thanapon Maliwan, Anuwat Kaewsopark
Cast: Michael B., Russell Wong, Intira Jaroenpura, Patharawarin Timkul, Erik Markus Schuetz, Winston Sefu, Lak-Khet Waslikachart
Running TIme: 86 min.

By HKFanatic

As a stuntman for Tony Jaa (“Ong Bak”), Mike B. probably had to learn to take a few hits. Unfortunately, he brings that same philosophy to his own starring vehicle, the Thai martial arts flick “The Sanctuary.” This movie is literally 86 minutes of Mike B. being treated like a human punching bag.

The plot follows a similar formula to “Ong Bak”: some ancient Thai antiques are stolen from the monastery near Mike B.’s workplace by Russell Wong (yes, Russell Wong of “Romeo Must Die” fame!) and of course Mike is the only one who can get them back. Too bad every bad guy that he runs into kicks his ass.

One of the antiques Mike recovers is a mystical amulet which promises to teach him he secrets of Thai boxing, but it never really works. Mike B. gets his ass handed to him before and after peering into the amulet’s secrets. I was having flashbacks to those old Van Damme movies like “Kickboxer” and “Lionheart” where the main villain would beat on Van Damme for twenty minutes until JCVD turned things around and won the fight with a few well-placed spin kicks. But Mike B. doesn’t even have any spin kicks. It’s a shame – if Mike had put up just a little bit of a fight, this could have been a satisfying martial arts movie.

At least Mike wisely populates his movie with a host of colorful bad guys. Russell Wong’s three henchman are a joy to watch – one of them is this ladyboy-in-training who fights like he’s doing an exaggerated pantomime of Catwoman. Another guy looks like he stepped out of the Hitler Youth and his long legs can kick like nobody’s business. Lastly, there’s a dude who looks like he should be in a SoCal metal band but he’s just an all around great Muay Tha fighter. These three guys are fun to watch and excellent at martial arts – basically, the opposite of Mike B. “The Sanctuary” is almost worth renting just to see them in action. I promise action junkies won’t forget about them anytime soon.

The rest of the movie is fairly forgettable, though I was entertained by the cheesy “Engrish” dialogue and the various ‘plot twists’ that occurred. The opening scene is actually set during the 1890’s and features one of Mike B.’s ancestors, who is about a hundred times more bad-ass than him. This sequence is far bloodier than the rest of the movie and a lot of fun. If there are any Russell Wong fans out there (anybody?), you can be rest assured that the actor is still pretty tough in his middle-age. During the finale, he puts the hurt on Mike B. and nearly drowns the poor bastard.

If there’s any consolation, it’s that “The Sanctuary” is far better than Mike B.’s 2007 debut “Brave,” which had the most pedestrian fights and stunts I’ve ever seen captured on film. But at the end of the day, nobody wants to see their hero get the crap kicked out of him, to never once gain the upper hand. Mike B. is sort of like the polar opposite of Donnie Yen or Steven Seagal, who rarely, if ever, let an opponent land a blow on them. I guess “The Sanctuary” is proof that you can actually make an action movie by hiring other, better martial artists to beat you up for 90 minutes.

HKFanatic’s Rating: 5.5/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , |

Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection: Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque (Shout!)

Posted on June 26, 2011 by JJ Bona
Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection: Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque (Shout!)

Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection: Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque (Shout!)

RELEASE DATE: September 27, 2011

Shout! presents another chapter in Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Collection. This time the Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection, which contains Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque.

Trailers/Clips: Lady Frankenstein | Time Walker | The Velvet Vampire | Grotesque

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

God of Gamblers Returns (1994) Review

Posted on June 25, 2011 by JJ Bona
"God of Gamblers Returns" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“God of Gamblers Returns” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: God of Gamblers 2
Director: Wong Jing
Producer: Charles Heung, Wong Jing, Jimmy Heung
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Tony Leung Ka Fai, Jacqueline Wu Chien Lien, Chingmy Yau, Elvis Tsui Kam Kong, Charles Heung, Tse Miu, Blacky Ko Sau Leung, Ken Lo, Baau Hon Lam, Bobby Yip Kin Sang, Yuen Bun
Running Time: 125 min.

By Numskull

Saying that Wong Jing has consistency is like saying “Miramax has integrity” or “Mei Ah has quality control”; a blatant lie. Wong Jing is consistent in only one thing: his inconsistency. As far as I’m concerned, this man is almost single-handedly responsible for the widely-held (and not entirely inaccurate) belief that Hong Kong films often fail to maintain a coherent tone. In this movie’s opening scenes, Ko Chun’s wife gets cut open and his unborn son is removed and placed in a jar like a lab specimen (the delicious irony being that the perpetrator is pissed off about not being given control of a childrens’ charity fund). With her last breath (getting ripped open and losing about half of her blood doesn’t seem to hurt her in the slightest; she just sounds sleepy), she makes her husband promise not to gamble with anyone or to reveal his identity as the God of Gamblers for one year. Why? Alas, she dies before giving any sensible explanation. I’m sure that Wong Jing came up with a very solid and logical reason for this, but decided not to put it in the finished film. I’m also sure that the Loch Ness Monster lives in the apartment above mine and sells rare baseball cards on eBay to earn money to support his glue-sniffing habit.

From there, Ko Chun is thrown into a variety of ridiculous situations ranging from shootouts pilfered from John Woo’s leftovers to ethnocentric comic relief that will go right over the heads of most Westerners (or, perhaps I’m giving it too much credit and it really isn’t funny no matter where you’re from). Ko Chun hooks up with a dead gangster’s kid, his ass-kicking sister (Chingmy Yau at her most boner-inducing), a buffoonish cop, and a pair of con artists. The evil gambler this time is Chau Siu-Chee, who is led to believe that Little Trumpet (Tony Leung Ka Fai’s character) is the real God of Gamblers, but is not the least bit surprised to find himself opposite Chow Yun-Fat when it’s time for the big card game a year after he killed his wife and kid. Oh yeah, and there’s a guy with psychic powers who can read minds, change playing cards, and set peoples’ hats on fire. And, speaking of fire, how about the scene where a building gets blown up, then the cops immediately go in and there’s no fire or smoke or wreckage anywhere in sight?

I think by now you get the idea; this movie is full of holes and is about as even as the number 13. Its predecessor was pretty good (the portions of it that Mei Ah saw fit to let us see, anyway), but, since this IS Wong Jing we’re dealing with here, it comes as no surprise that lightning did not strike twice.

Miramax owns the North American distribution rights for this film. If and when they release it, they will probably replace the image of the preserved fetus with a jar of pickles. “Chau Siu-Chee!”, the guy doing Ko Chun’s voice will say. “You killed my wife and broke the seal on my pickles! I had to eat them all by myself before they went bad! My urine was green for a week! Now I will get my revenge!”

Which would ALMOST be an improvement.

Numskull’s Rating: 4/10

By Vic Nguyen

Hong Kong’s top box office attraction in 1994, Wong Jing’s absurdly uneven sequel to his 1989 hit is nonetheless highly entertaining, and a must for newbies to the gambling flick genre. As per usual with a Wong Jing production, the film reeks of inconsistency, going from violent revenge flick to screwball slapstick at any given time. Chow Yun-fat (in the “fat Elvis” stage of his career) handles these abrupt shifts in tone with relative ease, switching from brooding intensity to charming grin at a moments notice. In addition, the all star cast, including Tony Leung Kar-fai (whenever he and Chow are onscreen together, you can’t help but think of Prison on Fire), Wu Chien-lin (a multi-talented performer; see her demented killer role in Intruder), and Chingmy Yau Suk-ching (star of the highly overrated Naked Killer), handle themselves well amidst the carnival-like atmosphere. With plenty of gunplay, violence, juvenile humor, and gambling, God of Gamblers Return is sure to have something for everyone, and is definitely worth a look.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

God of Gamblers (1989) Review

Posted on June 25, 2011 by JJ Bona
"God of Gamblers" Japanese DVD Cover

“God of Gamblers” Japanese DVD Cover

Director: Wong Jing
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Andy Lau Tak-Wah, Joey Wong, Sharla Cheung Man, Charles Heung, Ronald Wong Pan, Jimmy Lee Fong, Shing Fui On, Yeung Chak Lam
Running Time: 125 min.

By Numskull

This highly revered Chow Yun-Fat vehicle is credited as the inspiration for a host of gambling-themed films in much the same way as Corey Yuen’s Yes, Madam! kick-started the “girls with guns” genre and Ricky Lau’s Mr. Vampire is (rightly) considered the “showcase” Chinese superstition-based comedy. I can’t say it blew me away since the gambling premise is one that I neither know nor care much about, but it’s certainly a solid, well-crafted film…and, with Wong Jing in the director’s chair, that is a minor miracle.

Chow Yun-Fat turns in an even better performance than usual as Ko Chun, an incredibly smooth, chocolate-loving gambling genius who, after suffering a head injury thanks to a trap set for a homosexual Indian man (don’t ask), becomes a slow-witted simpleton with partial memory loss, essentially playing two characters in the same film. Less impressive is Andy Lau as Knife, a hot-headed man of dubious morality who tries to use Ko Chun (now known as Chocolate) and his latent gambling skills to clear his debts and amass a fortune for himself, his long-legged girlfriend Jane (Joey Wang), and his chum Crawl (Ronald Wong), who bears an uncanny resemblance to Steve Buscemi. Chocolate’s witlessness leads to a few difficult situations for Knife; some comical (Chocolate imitating the gasps heard in a whorehouse), some dramatic (Knife abandoning his puppet until guilt and compassion get the better of him), and some a mixture of both (oh, THERE’S Chocolate; he just went to buy some Mickey Mouse balloons. No wonder Disney bought the rights to this one).

Meanwhile, back on the homefront, Janet (Man Cheung) anxiously awaits the return of her beloved Ko Chun while his former friend Yee (Fong Lung) sets his sights on her. Also, a fateful game with an aging crime lord named Chan draws ever closer, and Ko Chun’s assigned bodyguard, Mr. Dragon, wonders where the hell his protectee has vanished to. One of the film’s storytelling flaws is that these elements get placed on the back burner for too long while the spotlight falls on Knife and his moneymaking schemes. There’s also an out-of-place shootout where Chow Yun-Fat suddenly becomes one of his John Woo characters and, despite all the hubbub, no cops show up. However, when our hero staggers out of the building and falls to the pavement a minute later, lo and behold, there’s a fine, upstanding officer of the law right there quick as a wink to disperse the crowd that gathers around him.

Minor stuff, this. It’s a good movie. Just not anything I’d sell a kidney for.

The version I watched was a horrendous full-frame DVD from Mei Ah where the imbedded subtitles frequently got chopped off at the bottom of the screen. It brought back not-so-fond memories of those pre-DVD days when Tai Seng turned countless people off of Hong Kong cinema by doing this shit with their video tapes and charging outrageous prices for them. Even worse, Mei Ah apparently cut out about 20 minutes or so for no apparent reason; a few of my comments, therefore, are admittedly suspect. (Now, let’s see how much more fucked up the Buena Vista version is, assuming they ever release it.)

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Vic Nguyen

Commercial filmmaker Wong Jing directed this box office smash in which literally launched a franchise, with numerous sequels and ripoffs soon to follow. Chow Yun-fat, giving a terrific performance, stars as Do Sun, aka, the God of Gamblers. Following an accident which leaves him with the mentality of a child, he is taken under the wing of a poor wannabe con-artist, played by pop singer Andy Lau. Plenty of hilarious comedy, highlighted by some inventive gambling and stunt-riddled shootouts makes God of Gamblers one of Wong Jing’s best films to date.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen (2010) Review

Posted on June 25, 2011 by Z Ravas
"Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen" Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

“Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen” Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

Director: Andrew Lau
Cast: Donnie Yen, Shu Qi, Anthony Wong, Huang Bo, Kohata Ryu, Yasuaki Kurata, Zhou Yang, Huo Siyan, Shawn Yue, Ma Yue, Ma Su, Chen Jiajia
Running Time: 106 min.

By HKFanatic

The premise for “Legend of the Fist” sounds like a surefire hit: Donnie Yen (he’s so hot right now!) teams up with “Infernal Affairs” director Andrew Lau to return to the role of Chen Zhen, which was previously made famous by Bruce Lee in “Fist of Fury,” Jet Li in “Fist of Legend,” and Donnie himself in a 90’s Hong Kong TV show. What could go wrong?

Well, stylistically, this film is a bit all over the place. The opening scenes are set during World War I, where director Andrew Lau channels the desaturated look of many modern war movies like “Saving Private Ryan” and Donnie Yen engages in some brutal, bloody action. Seriously, once you see what Donnie does to some German soldiers with two bayonets, you’ll never look at war the same way again. I’ve already heard some reviewers say that the opening ten minutes, with its barrage of explosions and extreme blood-letting in a unique WWI locale, sets the bar for action so high that the rest of the film is a letdown.

The film soon leaves the trenches behind and makes the abrupt shift to the lavish, neon-lit world of 1930’s Shanghai, where the Japanese military are planning a slow takeover of China. The only one who can stop them? Chen Zhen, who sometimes finds it appropriate to don a Kato-like mask in order to protect his civilian identity as he fights to end the Japanese terror campaign. This is where the film struggles to find its own identity; political and war-time intrigue makes for odd bedfellows with costumed superheroics. The heavy blue tones of the cinematography, as well as the blend of street-level violence (streetcar bombings, assassinations) with a crime-fighting masked avenger, seem to purposefully evoke the feel of Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight.” Though be warned, the violence here is definitely in the “R” rated territory.

In the midst of all this plot (and there is quite a bit for an action movie), we have Donnie Yen kicking butt in jaw-droppingly choreographed fight scenes. There aren’t a ton of fight scenes, per se, but you get at least three setpieces where Donnie gets to show his stuff and pay homage to Bruce Lee. Elsewhere we have Shu Qi doing her best in a rather thankless role; Anthony Wong being his usual, cool self; and an over-the-top anti-Japanese sentiment that actually manages to eclipse Donnie Yen’s own Nippon-hating “Ip Man.”

If I have one serious complaint with the story it’s that the Japanese are portrayed as so evil, and get away with so much murder and bloodshed, that you never really feel like the hero wins, regardless of the film’s obvious “good vs. evil” pretensions. Similar to the damage the Joker wrecks in the aforementioned Batman film, we’re left with a Pyrrhic victory at most for our protagonist. For all its slick lighting and heroic music, this movie is kind of a downer. Not even the promise of a sequel with more Donnie Yen action can take away from that.

From reading message boards and comments online, I sense Western audiences are growing tired of the strong Chinese nationalism that seems to be necessary these days just to get an action movie past the Chinese censor boards. But let’s be honest: if all you want to see is a 47-and-still-fit-as-hell Donnie Yen kick ass in a Kato mask, then this is your movie. “The Return of Chen Zhen” is an uneven blockbuster that never lets up on the spectacle, even if it lets the viewer down from a story perspective.

HKFanatic’s Rating: 8.5/10

By JJ Hatfield

Chen Zhen is back in Shanghai in this movie that should be considered a continuation technically, but it is also a piece of sequel. Seven years after his “death” he disguises himself and intends to infiltrate the Japanese as well as find a very important list. He spends his nights fighting crime too. During the war Chen Zhen saves just about everyone, with the exception being all the enemy soldiers he manages to disassemble. After his return to Shanghai he begins his intense effort to infiltrate a group of the Japanese occupation. He continues to fight crime – usually in the form of ripping the heads off of Japanese occupiers.

The audience understands Chen Zhen hates the evil Japanese villains and he is going to brutally take out as many of the enemy as possible. (1) But Chen Zhen makes certain we don’t forget he hates the f ing Japs and he is out to kill! Other than kicking ass there is a back-story regarding the son of the sensei killed in the past. He becomes the main villain along with every Japanese.

I can’t say I was impressed with anyone’s acting including Donnie. Chen Zhen has a girlfriend (I don’t know what happened to the other one). Shu Qi harbors a dark secret that could cause peril for everyone. She doesn’t have much to do in the film but look gorgeous and that she does.

Andy Lau is not known for his superb action choreography so he basically let Donnie direct his own action scenes. I’m not certain that was the best decision for the movie. Chen Zahn’s character is all about Chinese being better than Japanese, including the martial arts. I have to confess I cannot say what form Donnie was using. It sure as hell wasn’t Wing Chun, but I can’t say what is was. Several times he uses a sort of “swingy arm” loopy type moves and then just when I think ahhh now he is using Northern Fist he would do something completely different.

Perhaps the idea was to show the differences that made Chinese martial arts superior but it failed miserably. It appeared to be more of a fist fight including kicks than any particular style or school. Finesse was nowhere to be seen. The all important end fight has Chen Zhen taking on an entire Dojo of masters. It doesn’t look good for Chen Zhen. He does have (Bruce’s) nunchakus, but unfortunately Donnie just does not have the same skill.

One of the great treats in “Fist of Legend” was Li and his enemy both would adjust their techniques to match the other, a sort of constant exchange of masterful ways. There was none of that in this movie. The feeling I experienced was that Chen Zahn is better because he is Chinese and has the Chinese spirit. Why Lau felt the need for trick photography, editing and such tight shots for fights is beyond me.

Yen is a very talented guy but you could not tell that from the downright shitty filming. Donnie doesn’t need camera tricks he needs to be allowed to do what he does best. Lau apparently was simply wanting to cash in before Donnie stops making action/martial arts films. Yen has been quoted as saying when he hit fifty he would no longer make martial arts movies, thus the flurry of movies the last few years.

I was totally underwhelmed by this movie. I wasn’t expecting a great deal either. However I did expect to see Chen Zhen doing great martial arts. What you could actually see was not impressive and the “wow” scenes were shot too close, at odd angles and other Lau attempts to do something, anything different than he has done before, which leaves a lot of room. Unfortunately he settled for mediocrity and it shows.

There are a million great scripts just gathering dust but instead Lau, Yen et al went for an easy box office hook – Anything to do with Bruce Lee or even Jet Li! There are stories of heroes that were real people, no doubt exaggerated to some extent but far more intriguing and entertaining than a remakish/continuation/sequel. I considered perhaps this was an attempt at adding a little Chinese camp but it was only laziness.

“Legend Of The Fist” was a disappointment. There was really no reason to make this movie in my opinion. I have viewed this film twice and didn’t find anything to make me change my response. This film simply doesn’t rate more than three stars, possibly 3.25 but no higher. All Donnie fans will be anxious to see this but you might want to have a watch before buying. As for me I feel slightly depressed.

(1) The history between areas we now know as China and Japan is thousands of years old. Over the centuries brutality and slaughter have been practiced by both sides, just as any other countries engaged in acquiring or defending real estate, sometimes called war. Especially fresh in terms of history is WWI and WWII and the years leading up to an actual declaration. There are good people and there are evil people in every part of the world. However a movie forum is not the place for a discussion regarding philosophy of life and strategies of war. I did not erase the facts instead stayed within the character’s framework of the movie for the review.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 6/10

By Mighty Peking Man

Director Andrew Lau (The Storm Riders, Infernal Affairs) re-writes film history by making Chen Zhen (Bruce Lee) survive the blazing gunfire in the now-legendary freeze frame in 1972’s “Fist of Fury.” Not much detail is explained on how he survives, but the movie makes it obvious that the character is capable of dodging bullets.

“Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen,” which takes place after the events of “Fist of Fury,” follows Chen Zhen (now played by Donnie Yen) as he leads an underground resistance movement aimed to stop the Empire of Japan from invading China; When he goes after the bad guys, he disguises himself as a masked superhero.

Bruce Lee fans will appreciate the references to their hero (Kato costume, nunchucks, and uniforms from 1972’s Fist of Fury). There’s even direct hints that establishes this movie as a true sequel (one flashback recreates a scene from the original). So whether you like it or not, this is Fist of Fury “Part 2” and not some gay remake (like that Jet Li piece of shit everybody loves so much).

Even with all these neato Bruce Lee surprises, there’s never really a moment where I feel a magical connection. Even “New Fist of Fury” and some of those Bruce Li sequels were able to accomplish that. Way to go Andrew Lau.

The main problem with “Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen” is that it feels like one long theatrical trailer – one that never quite grabs my attention. The film just moves from one scene to another with hardly any room to breathe. About 20 minutes in, I felt unattached to everything on the screen and I stayed this way until the very end. I mean, come on… this is the star of “Ip Man” in a “Fist of Fury” sequel directed by the guy who essentially gave Martin Scorsese his best film since “Goodfellas.” There’s something seriously wrong here.

There are instances of brilliance in some of the action, thanks to Donnie Yen unleashing his fury (*cough* bring back Sammo Hung as choreographer). But overall, the outcome is uninspiring. Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot of action going on (and mind you, the lack of action isn’t the film’s problem). There’s a chunk of action in the beginning, a little here and there, then there’s the so-so grand finale (and I mean so-so). Was it me or was Donnie Yen doing his Bruce Lee imitation unintentionally silly? I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that Bruce Lee is the only guy on Earth who can use a pair of nunchucks and not come off looking like an idiot.

I have to add that “Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen” is very violent with a lot of morbid death scenes and even a torture sequence, but it all feels out of place and forced. Speaking of that torture scene; I don’t want to see Donnie Yen’s ass, I want to see him kick ass. Who the hell does he think he is, Daniel Craig?

The film also stars Anthony Wong (who looks like he wishes he starred in “Ip Man” instead) and Shu Qi (didn’t we get sick of her 10 years ago?) who spends the majority of her screen time acting tipsy. As far as the actors who play the Japanese baddies, they suck and have no charisma at all.

I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer Chen Zhen dead.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 5.5/10

Posted in Bruceploitation, Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Thirst (2009) Review

Posted on June 25, 2011 by JJ Hatfield
"Thirst" Korean Theatrical Poster (Banned)

“Thirst” Korean Theatrical Poster (Banned)

Director: Park Chan-wook
Producer: Park Chan-wook
Cast: Song Kang-Ho, Kim Ok-Vin, Shin Ha-Kyun, Kim Hae-Sook, Park In-Hwan, Song Young-Chang
Running Time: 134/145 min.

By JJ Hatfield

When I first heard of this film, it was presented as a vampire movie. The last thing I felt the world needed was yet another vampire (or zombie) flick. However, knowing that Song Kang-ho was the lead role and the director was Park Chan-wook, I had to see it. Park is very skilled in taking your mind places you wouldn’t ordinarily go.

The film begins at a hospital in Africa where young Roman Catholic priest named Sang-hyun (Song Kang-ho) ministers to the ill and dying. He sometimes feels that the world will never change for the better. He has taken his vows to heart and soul, but sometimes has doubts. Sang-hyun is a very serious and softly silent man. In order to try and help more people, this selfless compassionate priest has so much good will to share, that he volunteers for an experimental vaccine to prevent a fatal illness, knowing it could cost him his life. He is a good candidate because the virus seems to be more common in Caucasians and Asians. Sang-hyun is thoroughly aware of the risks, but he lives to serve the people he can help. How much greater love could anyone have for mankind than to risk their life to potentially save others?

Unfortunately, the priest’s body is eventually overwhelmed and he begins to hemorrhage faster than they can replace his blood. After frantically trying to save him, the cardiac monitor shows flatline. Then, to the medical team’s great astonishment, the monitor suddenly shows his heart beating! He is very much alive. Unknown to anyone, what brought him back was vampire blood, that was unknowingly given to the priest. After people hear of his miraculous recovery many believe he has special powers to heal. He is thus far the only survivor, but he is still infected with the virus.

He feels different. He is different. Desires he never imagined fill his mind. He continues to work at the hospital, but now, it is so he has access to blood. Without more blood, the symptoms begin to reappear. How could such a humanitarian be blamed for receiving vampire tainted blood? He doesn’t panic. Nor does he run about screaming they fix him, or cure him. In his same quiet manner, he accepts what has happened and tries to keep anyone from knowing he is no longer the same man. He doesn’t attack strangers and rip out their jugular with his fangs or hack up victims for dinner. His open access to the hospital provides him with the blood he needs, usually by slurping up some unconscious patients blood bag. When I say slurping, I do mean just that. Making slurping, smacking lips, sucking noises. These scenes make the character seem to take it in stride now that he will always need blood and his main concern becomes how to conveniently arrange for it. He knows things can never go back to the way they were.

His vow of chastity as a Roman Catholic priest is fading rapidly, as the vampire blood awakens carnal, physical desires of the flesh. Sang-hyun finds himself in lust/obsession/love with the young wife Tae-joo (Kim Ok-vin,) of an old friend.

He feels obligated to rescue her from her abusive husband and his mother. Before long he realizes he loves her and she seems to love him as well, even though he tells her he is a vampire. She actually seems to find that exciting, but then she finds virtually anything wild and new exciting. Especially sex. Sang-hyun has to exert great control over the vampire – ness and tries to harm her as little as possible, but before long, everything is drenched in blood.

It is interesting watching the priest’s descent into all things vampire. On a more emotional level, it is terryfying.

Some of the old stories were apparently true and others were not. He does have to stay out of the sun, but he did not grow huge fangs and go on a slaughter spree. Song Kang-ho performs perfectly, from the heroic young priest trying to find meaning in a world full of evil, to being perilously close to evil himself.

If it is not yet obvious, this is not exactly your basic horror film. The frightening aspect has far more to do with the priest losing himself, and the compassionate man he once was. Part of that includes some extremely dark humor. Some promos use the term comedy, but I don’t think that does the film and the cast justice, nor does it give an accurate impression. In my experience, it is more difficult to pull off dark humor than straight comedy. Tae-joo seems to actually enjoy her barely controlled lover, no matter how bizarre the scene gets. And there are some rather bizarre scenes.

Much of the film’s believability laid squarely on the shoulders of Song Kang-ho and to his great credit, he does a fantastic job! I found him very believable as the self sacrificing priest, and as he succumbs even further into a world of darkness.

One of the issues about vampire movies is the usual absence of responsibility or morals or even repercussions for actions. This film takes on those questions, however, not to the detriment of the story line or the pacing.

“Thirst” is a very fascinating film on several levels, and not just as excellent entertainment. There are several aspects that could be interpreted in different ways. When something unforseen and unbidden happens to someone, do they bear any responsibility for their actions? Or are they merely victims of a greater evil?

The cinematography was directed by Chung Chung-hoon. Some of the scenes replaced exposition that might have dragged the dialogue down. The camera work plays a large role in establishing Sang-hyun as a devout faithful, devoted priest. Kang-ho is an amazing actor. Every role I have seen him play has been different and called on him to hone his skills to the point the man can do any role! I found his performance, as he changed into what he used to pray against, excellent and very believable in his character.

Cho Young-ook wrote the original music score. It supports the film but is not a driving force.

Park Chan-wook has openly stated his inspiration is from “Therese Raquin,” an 1867 French novel by Emile Zola. It was made into a film by Marcel Carne in 1953, with Simone Signoret and Raf Vallone. Park could have claimed the inspiration was his own, but to his credit, he has been open about it from the beginning. If he had not told people, I really don’t know if there is anyone that would have made a connection. The novel does not have any vampires, nor priests for that matter, but I believe his motivation was based on the characters and how they too changed.

“Thirst” is much more than a vampire movie. It is at times frightening, blood-drenched, insanely sexual, gross, grim and nauseating for some; with dark humor in abundance, but I encourage the viewer to look deeper. Park Chan-wook is a complex film maker. “Thirst” has more layers than the most obvious one. After excessiveness to the nth degree of being human, is there a possible way of return? Does the need for something justify any means? Even if another life is now infected? Is redemption an illusion? There are more than a few issues raised in this film, and to his credit, Park does not give you a tidy answer. There are some things that are not easily labeled right or wrong. Damned good film!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 9/10 

By NIngen

Thirst is about a priest who becomes the participant of some weird experiment, because he believes it will help dying patients. Unfortunately, Father Sang-Hyun becomes a vampire in the process. And his desire for blood somehow gets him entangled with a family he was acquainted with as a child. The adopted daughter in the group, Tae-Ju, sleeps around on the mom’s son with the Padre, and, from there, the situation escalates.

I remember a guy on a board now long gone who was not really impressed with Oldboy, and even argued that there’s no point in remaking it, because it’s so “Hollywood”, that it’d just be cheaper to redub it in English. While I was fairly disappointed at the flick coming off a bit anti-climactic for my tastes, I was still willing to let that comment slide until Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Unfortunately, I lost track of the story around the half-way point, and it ended up being more of a torture porn flick than a revenge flick, even though revenge was a factor.

So I was hoping third time would be the charm with Thirst, since I missed out on “I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Ok” and “Mr. Vengeance”. But I have to say I’m sort of agreeing with that ex-flamer. I really don’t see anything innovative from Park Chan-Wook, other than with his flashy and bold set designs and wardrobes. His style of story-telling lacks nuance and his characters lack more distinctive personalities. [His actors do a good job with moving the story forward, but their roles are generally under-developed.]

And Thirst is no exception to PCW’s “style”. It’s basically every indie murder movie flick ever made with a vampire theme attached to it. It’s got a male lead forced to resort to criminal behavior, a femme fatale, a dysfunctional family, unsuspecting locals turned into victims, etc. In addition, half the time, I can’t even tell if the movie’s really meant to be a parody, because it’s so pedestrian in the way it (literally) goes for the jugular, rather than actually provide a new take on the genre.

For example, while there’s plenty of blood-sucking to go around, the movie cops out where it really counts-with suspenseful moments like the male of the house-hold, Kang-woo, nearly getting stabbed in his sleep by Tae-Ju. The knife she uses just gets close to his body, and then gets pulled away. And even the victims are sort of “slurped” behind closed doors. I’m not expecting Hostel or Saw-style violence, but there has to be a feeling of shock from the experience. And, unfortunately, you can predict who’s gonna be next a mile away. Maybe the details aren’t obvious, but they don’t really up the impact of the scenes.

The other issue I have is that Thirst ends up turning into a relationship flick, more than a horror flick. The viewer has to sit through a incredibly tedious soft-core sex scene, a pointless lover’s spat, and discussions on emotional issues. Seriously, it’s like watching an R-rated version of Twilight. It’s that pathetic.

But if I have anything positive to say about Thirst, it’s that the cast is very believable, in spite of being wasted. The actors don’t play the self-awareness game. Nor do they ham up their parts. They keep their scenes grounded in the reality of the setting. And their performances are the only reason that I can stand the wretched pacing of the movie.

So, if you go to see Thirst, expecting some Dead Alive/Braindead-type action, you’ll be disappointed. But if you like horror movies to take their time getting to the good stuff, while giving you a feeling of being creeped out without actually experience it on-screen, then Thirst will probably deliver for you.

Ningen’s Rating: 9/10 Sets, lighting, and outfits: 8/10 Story: 6/10 Movie in general: 5.5/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , |

The Sword with No Name aka Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Posted on June 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
The Sword with No Name aka Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

The Sword with No Name aka Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

RELEASE DATE: September 6, 2011

Also known as Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies. In 19th-century Korea, a bounty hunter becomes the bodyguard of the queen he secretly loves. Directed by Kim Yong-Gyun (“The Red Shoes”) and starring Cho Seung-Woo (“Marathon”) and Soo-Ae (“Once in a Summer”). Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island aka Barefoot Dream, Equinox Island Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Posted on June 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island aka Barefoot Dream, Equinox Island Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island aka Barefoot Dream, Equinox Island Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

RELEASE DATE: October 4, 2011

Higanjima is an eerie island occupied by vampires, from where none has ever come back alive. When teenager Akira hears that his missing brother has been seen in the island, he decides to investigate with several friends. Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Posted on June 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

RELEASE DATE: September 20, 2011

“TAJOMARU is the famous ‘bandit’ of the forest from RASHOMON. Whoever kills Tajomaru inherits his name, status and sword. A royal brother leaves his kingdom to protect the princess he loves, only to find a series of harrowing adventures along the way which lead him back to where he came from, and then disinheriting his past to become the bandit TAJOMARU.” Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Mr. Vampire (1985) Review

Posted on June 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Mr. Vampire" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Mr. Vampire” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Ricky Lau
Producer: Sammo Hung
Cast: Lam Ching-Ying, Chin Siu Ho, Ricky Hui, Moon Lee, Pauline Wong, Yuen Wah, Billy Lau, Choi Fung-Li, Wu Ma, Yuen Wah, Anthony Chan
Running Time: 98 min.

By Numskull

I sat down to watch Mr. Vampire at least half-expecting to see a Chinese Night of the Living Dead acid-trip shitfest, and to say that I was pleasantly surprised would be a big understatement. This isn’t some cheap-ass nonsense shot on less money than it takes to buy a blow job in a red light district. It’s a highly amusing romp with style, charm, and entertainment value coming out the wazoo.

Ethnocentric Westerners, don’t let the title “Mr. Vampire” fool you…you won’t find anyone even remotely resembling Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Anne Rice’s Lestat or even Brian Lumley’s Faethor Ferenczy anywhere in this film. The title (presumably) refers to Lam Ching-Ying’s character Kou, a courageous wise man who specializes in keeping the living safe from the restless dead. At times, though, mere knowledge and bravery just aren’t enough…you need some extra hands to get the job done. That’s why the intrepid Kou has a pair of assistants named Chou and Man Chor.

Their mission, should they choose to accept it (and, by the way, they do) is to protect young Ting Ting and her dad from the undead menace of Grandpa Yam. Business as usual except for Ting Ting’s meddling cousin Wai, the world’s most spectacularly incompetent cop, who makes life (and death) more difficult for everyone involved by virtue of his very presence. His biggest concern is that one of Kou’s wards will get to marry (or at least bone) cousin Ting Ting before he will.

Speaking of boning, there’s a very nifty sub-plot in which Chou is bewitched by a female ghost and is “forced” to bone her until he can bone no more. She then seizes control of his mind and attempts to make him her slave (isn’t that just like a woman?). Meanwhile, Kou’s other assistant Man Chor has a problem of his own. He has contracted the vampire disease (for lack of a better term) and must dance barefoot on uncooked rice and then be physically restrained at all times to keep himself from joining the ranks of the undead and harming his friends. Now, tell me, which of these hapless young men would YOU rather be?

Side note: the music heard whenever the female ghost appears reminds me of that “Nick-nack-paddy-whack, give the dog a bone (there’s that word again), this old man came rolling home” song.

Anyway.

The “action” category is not well suited for this film, but Mr. Vampire is at its best during its most kinetic scenes. The sight of cousin Wai frantically scrambling this way and that to elude one of the rampaging undead predators while Kou and Chou make attempt after desperate attempt to thwart the seemingly unstoppable vampire is one that will draw many a fond chuckle from you long after the movie is over. It’s a see-and-see-again flick if ever there was one.

Now, a word of explanation about Mr. Vampire’s villainous ghoulies, so you don’t say “What in the name of hell-bent fuck am I watching?” too much during the movie. Vampires, as portrayed in this film, bear little resemblance to the nocturnal bloodsuckers that most of us are familiar with. Instead, they’re pretty much animated corpses who hop around (the ground upon which the living trod burn their feet) and attack anyone who crosses their path. They are able to locate victims by honing in on the breath of the living…witness Kou and company holding their breath to escape a horrible fate with big nasty teeth. It’s like remaining motionless so as not to get gobbled up by the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.

Some may find this film too weird or cartoony or cheesy to have any real merit. Well, fuck “some”. Mr. Vampire is a priceless gem mined from a cave of shit and, despite its age, it will stay untarnished by time for those of us who appreciate a rip-roaring fun movie.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

By Perkele

Easily one of the best HK comedy movies I’ve seen [only rivals being a few Stephen Chow flicks], “Mr. Vampire” is a must for everyone interested in HK cinema [or fantasy/horror cinema for general]. While the first [and best] widely recognized HK “hopping vampire” movie was of course Sammo’s magnificent “Encounters of the Spooky Kind”, “Mr. Vampire” was the movie that actually started the whole genre.

Countless spin-offs include at least 4 sequels [plus them “Mr. Vampire ’92” stuff and so on] and countless other horrendous attempts trying to cash in with the then popular “vampire” trend (hey, at least they don’t do ’em anymore).

[A beginners guide to Chinese vampires: A Chinese vampire has actually very little to do with your usual western vampire. Chinese vampires, or rather gyonshies, are corpses that for some reason haven’t had a decent burial ceremony and thereforeÉ arch, fuck it. Just go watch the movie already and you have the necessary knowledge.]

I’ll skip the plot (you HAVE to watch this the movie anyway), but let’s reveal that there are a Taoist priest (played wonderfully by Lam Ching-Ying, no wonder he got to play the same character for the rest of his life) whose main concerns are a bunch of living dead on the loose and two rather idiotic assistants Chin Siu-Ho [who falls in love with a female ghost] and Ricky Hui [who gets bitten by a gyonshi].

There’s excitement, brief martial arts encounters [involving Lam Ching-Ying & Chin Siu-Ho battling vampires (i.e. Yuen Wah)], thrills [including a flying head], magic [surprisingly there’s not-too-bad special effects] and funny [what?] comedy. The movie also looks quite good like most of the 80’s bigger-budget films.

By the way, when you see the corgeous Moon Lee in this movie (as the daughter of the rich merchant), can you believe that this chick can really FIGHT (well if you can’t it, watch the finale of “Angels II”)?

Highly recommended.

Perkele’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Martial Arts Titles, News, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |

Storm Riders, The (1998) Review

Posted on June 21, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Stormriders" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Stormriders” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: The Stormriders
Director: Andrew Lau
Cast: Ekin Cheng, Aaron Kwok, Sonny Chiba, Kristy Yeung, Michael Tse, Lawrence Cheng, Wayne Lai, Roy Cheung, Shu Qi, Jason Chu, Alex Fong, Anthony Wong
Running Time: 128 min.

By Sergio Martorelli

Lord Conquer (Sonny Chiba) leads the greatest clan of medieval China, the creatively named Conquer Clan. He collects rare, funny-named swords like a kid amasses Pokémon cards, and only wants two things from life: a good marriage for his pritty daughter Charity (Kristy Yeung) and a duel to death with Sword Saint (Anthony Wong dressed as Gandalf). Ah, if only things were just as easy! The evasive Sword Saint keeps postponing the duel (he follows the “why can’t we be friends?” motto), and seer Mud Buddha (Yiu-Cheung, the inspector Tang from Gen-X Cops) foretells that, to secure his post as The Big Pumbaa of Da ‘Hood, Conquer must bring to his side the kids Wind (Ekin Chen) and Cloud (Aaron Kwok). That’s what he does, by ordering the killing of the boys’ fathers and raisin’ em as his own offspring. Of course Conquer omits the murder bit, so Wind and Cloud are loyal to him. But as usual when you have some skeletons in the closet, someday the bones will rattle for everybody to hear.

Cut to ten years later. The now grown-up lads gained powers beyond those of mere mortal men. Wind commands the wind (not THAT wind, but the kind that inflates sails!), Cloud controls water (something as useful as Zan’s powers from the Super Friends cartoon, judging by a later sequence), and a third boy, Frost (Michael Tse), freezes his enemies with punches. Cool! But naughty Mud Buddha conveniently lets out the second part of the prophecy – you know, the BAD part – and hauls ass before Conquer finds out he was duped. Prophecy says that when Wind and Cloud unite for the same goal (so far, they’ve spent all the movie bickering), Conquer’s ass will be grass. Obviously bad news, but powermad Conquer thinks he can control his own destiny. Poor sap.

Since both boys have the hots for Charity, Lordy arranges her marriage with one of ’em. And just like in any chapter of “Days of Our Lifes”, that’s not a good move – but Conquer is counting on that. BTW, for a girl named “Charity”, Conquers’ daughter is very giving indeed. She likes both stepbrothers, but we know who we’re rooting for. Wind, the romantic one, takes Charity on “Superman: The Movie”-like fancy flights, poetry readings, firefly-watching and other sissy stuff. Cloud, the tempestous one, just storms Charity’s bedroom and fucks her silly. Atta boy! So far, we’re barely over the first hour. There’s plenty more to come, including self-mutilation, grave robbery and a cool fire monster, but I don’t wanna spoil the surprises.

Let’s talk about the cast instead. Kwok and Cheng are China’s answer to Justin Timberlake, and they do a fairly decent job as leading lords (well, Cheng does; Kowk isn’t that talented, but he tries). Sonny Chiba, as expected, puts the movie in the breast pocket and runs with it; his performance is operistic and kabuki-like, a perfect choice for a comic book villain. The guy was 59, but look at his muscles when he rips off his shirt; rrowwrrr! Yu Rong Guang shines on his cameo as Cloud’s dad, omnipresent Anthony Wong has a (very) small but striking part, and soft-porn starlet Shu Qi repeats the same schlap-schtick from Jackie Chan’s lamest film, “Gorgeous”. Granted, she’s cute, but her character is more annoying than Scrappy-Doo. A Valley Girl in medieval China? Sorry, me no buy it. About the flick: eat your heart out, Goku! Run and hide, Vegita! Super Sayan, schmuper shmayan! Wind, Cloud, Frost and Conquer are the real deal! Thanks to lots of computer wizardry, our heroes fly around, move faster than a Keystone Cop, shine from inside with pretty colours and exchange body parts at will. All this insanity came from the minds of director Andrew Lau (Wai Keung Lau, NOT Andy Lau Tak-wah) and Ma Wing Ping, creator of the comic book used as basis for the screenplay (some critics label the comic as Manga, but aren’t Manga supposed to be japanese?).

All the sound of fury made this the Hong Kong blockbuster of 1998, and deservedly so. The Storm Riders may have an uneven story, but is pretty exciting when watched with the right frame of mind – meaning “check your brain at the door”. The reviewed DVD is the Brazilian edition by China Video, with the same transfer and extras from Tai Seng’s version. There are portuguese subtitles on the making of (Tai Seng’s has none), so if you have a friend who speaks spanish, that can help cuz both languages have similarities. Also included are non-subtitled trailers for Running Out of Time (dubbed in english), A Man Called Hero, The Storm Raiders (dubbed in portuguese), The Duel, Double Tap, Once Upon a Time in China and America (dubbed in english), High Risk (dubbed in english and full frame – eeep!!!) and Full Contact.

Sergio Martorelli’s Rating: 7/10

By James H.

Andrew Lau’s “The Stormriders” begins promisingly enough with an impressive title sequence, showcasing digital animation and some good music. From there, the film goes down hill. It features a remarkable cliched and convoluted plot, and it was very easy to tell where the producers put the money. Summarizing the plot would be a waste of my time, and yours.

Like many of today’s Hollywood summer films, the real focus of “The Stormriders” is the special effects. The effects in the film, while being undeniably good, do not look overly convincing, proving Roger Ebert’s “Toupee Effect” rule.

Lau’s directing has the combined style and grace of a “Mortal Kombat” game and a Madonna video. It even looks like it was shot on video, and not film. Perhaps this overabundance of style is to compensate for the giant lack of substance. I’m not condemning films that showcase style over substance, they can be and are good when done right, like Sam Raimi’s “The Evil Dead” and John Woo’s “A Better Tomorrow II”.

The film also has a very choppy editing style to it. Not like the oddly smooth flowing editing of Steven Soderbergh’s films (like “The Limey” and “Traffic”), but the sloppy and abrupt editing of Michael Bay’s “Armageddon”. It ended up giving the movie an episodic feel to it, like a series of television shows edited together to make a movie.

There were several fight scenes in the film, all involving characters with the kind of powers found in a (gasp!) “Mortal Kombat” video game. In fact, one character, named Frost, has abilities, which are strikingly similar to those of (gasp!) Sub Zero of the (gasp!) “Mortal Kombat” franchise. But, I digress. There is nothing really wrong with the fights, but the came across in a rather unexciting fashion; lacking a certain “kick”, so to speak.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, who knows?), the version I saw was what appears to be a heavily cut American version, which ran a grand total of 88 minutes. Perhaps the dubbing also lent a hand to my distaste for the film. No matter, I do not think making this picture any longer would have made it any better.

James H’s Rating: 3/10

By Dave Bell

No goofy joke, no silly references to sitcoms or politicians. This movie deserves better. An amazing film of epic quality, that weaves lush cinemtography with some of the most breathtaking – and seamless – special effects put on film. The story moves at steady pace without bogging down, at no point will the viewer wonder how long have they been watching and when is the end coming. The characters stay true to themselves and not a single performance rings sour. Kwok, Cheng and Chiba are marvelous but most underrated may be the actor playing Frost. He brings a quiet dignity to the role and when he admits his unrequited love for Chastity it rings painfully true. If you’ve only seen this movie on video, buy a DVD player to see it again. If you’ve seen it on DVD, beg your theater owner to show a 70 mm print. This is the best movie since Scorcese’s Goodfellas.

Dave Bell’s Rating: 10/10

By Vic Nguyen

Based on a best selling comic, this big budget, special effects laden production features a cast of all stars and was helmed by premiere filmmaker Andrew Lau Wai-keung. Pop singers Aaron Kwok and Ekin Cheng star as the title characters Wind and Cloud, brought together to bring down the evil Lord Conqueror, played by Japanese cinema legend Sonny Chiba. Despite the presence of big name actors and actresses, the real star of this film are the special effects by Centro, which set new standards for the future of Hong Kong Cinema. That, along with a keen visual flair by former cinematographer Andrew Lau Wai-keung, makes the Storm Riders a worthwhile film worth tracking down. Released in 1998, The Storm Riders was king at the box office, edging out headline productions such as Jackie Chan’s Who Am I? and Chow Yun-fat’s US debut The Replacement Killers.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, News, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

Project A | aka Pirate Patrol (1983) Review

Posted on June 21, 2011 by JJ Hatfield
"Project A" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Project A” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Jackie Chan
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, Dick Wei, Kwan Hoi San, Law Ho Kai, John Cheung, Kwan Yung, Lee Wan Faat, Chan Chi Fai, Chan Ling Wai, Cheng Hong Yip, Cheung Chok Chow, Chin Kar Lok, Chang Seng-Kwong
Running Time: 105 min.

By JJ Hatfield

Damn it’s good to see Jackie in his prime! Everyone looks terrific in this movie directed by Jackie himself. At this period in his life Jackie was still frickin nuts and doing insane stunts and fights, often directed by Sammo Hung who most definitely is a fantastic fight choreographer. Yuen Biao has a lot of screen time to show off those amazing acrobatic talents and martial arts and even a bit of acting.

Although there is no intricate plot it isn’t missed. After all when you watch a film such as this you don’t do so looking for award winning dialogue.  The viewer expects to see some cool tight fights and some crazy stunts mixed with Jackie humor. Well this movie will more than fulfill all expectations!

Jackie has made so many films it is nearly impossible to say which is the best. Best in what way? It is difficult to compare many of his films. Even though his better movies are usually martial arts based it still is damned impossible to declare one single best. However “Project A” has to be near the very top. It really is that good. There are just enough of the right elements in the right mix to make this a rather well rounded “three brothers” movie.

In the early 1900s Hong Kong law enforcement was battling with pirates who took advantage of its location and established crime connections to plunder at sea. With so much wealth and so many passengers going back and forth particularly with the British the vast stretches of open water made ships ripe for the taking. Jackie and his unit are in the Coastguard (water army) and the primary goal is to rid the waters around Hong Kong of pirates. Unfortunately so far they have had little luck in capturing their foe.

The group is shipping out soon and the crew go to a tavern to forget their worries about not returning from this assignment. There is also a group of Hong Kong Police drinking at the same tavern. As things sometimes do a small matter becomes exaggerated, tempers flare and what follows is one of the absolute best cinema group fight scenes ever!  They must have had every stunt guy and more involved. The screen is packed with action and people fighting! Excellent, intricate action everywhere. All choreographed, with no guys hanging out on the fringes. Everybody on screen is fighting! And we even discover where the music comes from for once.

Fighting doesn’t convey adequately what is really happening many times. Especially with Dragon (Jackie) and the younger captain played by Yuen Biao. Jumping off of walls, tackling each other and some great moves on the bar are more like small stunts. Even when humor is used it was really quite good. There are several extended scenes that are hilariously funny!

This is one of the absolute best use of humor in any of Jackie’s films!

Dragon meets an old associate Fei (Sammo Hung) who insists he has given up his illegal ways and gone straight. Despite their differences they are deep down friends. But they are also on opposite sides of the law. This isn’t “A Better Tomorrow” though everything is lively, upbeat and entertaining! The music is perfect for the chase scenes and really adds to the movie. There are a lot of chase scenes! On foot, up and down rickety wooden stairs, on bicycles through the narrow alleys of Hong Kong, in and out of shops and up and down streets. The cinematography is quite good especially the action sequences, as you would expect from Jackie’s team. The focus is on the mark with perfectly balanced scenes. The fights are shot to the best possible advantage and there is also some hand held camera work. The massive fight scene (there is more than one) action finale is a thing of beauty! Dick Wei is at his peak of performance and is terrific as the pirate leader. Jackie, Biao and Sammo all have their very different techniques pushed to the limit. These guys know each other so well they can move like one. This is a rare treat!

Yes this is the movie where Jackie borrows a scene from a Harold Lloyd movie “Safety Last” made in 1923. Jackie often borrowed scenes from Lloyd and Buster Keaton. In the spirit Jackie uses it I consider it an homage versus a scene steal. Aside from the actual clock hang there is absolutely no similarity in the plot. In his book Jackie stated he tried to do this stunt several times but would come back inside. (That is why there just happens to be a guy hanging out the tower window) Finally he just did it. It’s an absolutely crazy stunt and once you see it you won’t ever forget it! I know Jackie will certainly remember. People forget that you need a bit more than guts to do stunts. You also have to be in phenomenally great shape! If you have seen this action extravaganza watch it again. If you have not get it immediately! It will more than satisfy the desire to be totally entertained!

Awards:

4th Annual Hong Kong Film Awards
Winner: Best Action Design (Jackie Chan’s Stuntmen Association)
Nominated: Best Actor (Jackie Chan)

There really was a Project “A”. Early in the 1900s pirates were a serious problem especially in the waters near Hong Kong. They were mercenaries and merciless. Pirates do still exist today and when caught are usually executed. The British/Hong Kong officials created a special plan to go after the pirates, calling it Project “A”. There are still pirates out in the waters, and not just around Hong Kong.

Project “A” is a winner all the way around! Highest Recommendation!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 10/10

By Brmanuk

Overrated is a word that springs to mind when watching this comic swashbuckling kung fu flick. I found the first 40 mins very boring with very average fight scenes and a silly bar brawl. The person dubbing Jackie’s voice didn’t fit the character at all and it was often hard to make out what the actors were saying. The last hour of the film was excellent and it was worth renting just to see the “bike chase” (and the scenes leading up to it) alone. Overall, a decent Jackie flick which is worth seeing a few times until you die of boredom.

Brmanuk’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Ro

WOW!!! Despite everything I read about this film, I was still not prepared for it’s absolute perfection. The action advances the plot, the plot and characters motivate the comedy, and the comedy enhances the action. Kudos go to Edward Tang for the screenplay and double kudos to Jackie Chan for both co-writing the screenplay and directing the film. The pacing is flawless, there isn’t a wasted moment in the entire movie!

While Jackie is undoubtedly the star, Samo Hung and Yuen Biao get plenty of opportunity to display their considerable talents. This movie has a barroom fight that will ruin you for Westerns forever! I was especially interested in the now-famous clock tower scene since I saw Jackie explain how he shot it in Jackie Chan, My Story. Apparently, he decided to have the stunt team let him hang there until he actually couldn’t hold on anymore! Who know Jackie used The Method??? My God! Did he actually fall on his head?!? Twice!?!

Just one word about the tape I bought from Advantage Video. It’s a ‘Venom Video’, dubbed in English (with German subtitles – go figure!). The picture quality is first rate and most of the dubbing is very good, but they decided to use Chinese voices for some of the characters, notably Samo Hung, and they were extremely hard to understand. Boy, did I wish I knew German! I have no problem with Samo on Martial Law, but it took a couple tries to understand everything his ‘stunt-dubber’ was saying. I’d suggest you’d be better off with subtitles, but I’m currently in the middle of trying to work my way thru Project A II, also by Advantage and the subtitles are HORRENDOUS!! (Apparently Americans are part psychic and can read tiny white letters on a white background, while those poor, non-psychic Germans need large letters edged in black so they’re visible on any background!) Whatever you decide, you MUST buy, rent or borrow this movie. You’re not a Jackie Chan fan without seeing it!

Ro’s Rating: 10/10

By Jordan

This, the first of the excellent ‘three brothers’ films, is one of my favourite JC movies. The stunts are big, the fights are excellent and there is a decent plot (which also proves that a period film can be made with no need for a shaolin temple or the likes). The bar room brawl lives up to it’s reputation, the bicycle chase is uncomparable, the final fight with Jackie, Samo and Yuen Biao vs. ‘Pirate Sam’ was very well done and the password scene was god-damn hilarious “A dumb man asks a lama for a trumpet. The lama doesn’t understand and gives him a pumpkin…” Although in some places it is a little boring, the very best of the ‘three brothers’ films and one of Jackie Chan’s finest cinematic masterpieces.

Jordan’s Rating: 9/10

By Spiff

Project A is without a doubt one of Jackie’s finest. The movie rolls from one well done action scene to another, and stuck in between are comic bits that one can actually laugh with, instead of corny slapstick that is sometimes seen in Jackie’s movies. Every single fight/action scene is everything you would come to expect from a good JC movie. The stunts are outrageous and from a certain point funny, but than at the same time amazing and very original, enough to make you get down on your knees and start chanting “I’m not worthy.” Not a dull moment passes in this movie that’s packed with unbelievable stunts and fights. They don’t get much better than this. A must see for any JC fan!

Spiff’s Rating: 10/10

By Dead Channel

Ugh. Got this one, and it was one of the most horrendous, worst Jackie Chan film I had ever seen. I literally forced myself to finish this one. I’m sure it has it’s good parts, but I gave it a good once-over and it did nothing for me. Provided it had Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao, it was totally worthless. The movie is totally uneventful until the very end, when they infiltrate the big bad pirates lair. Even the end fight didn’t seem all that great. My favorite part (the only good part in my opinion) was when Jackie let his bike ghost-ride into the bike racks at the Coast Guard academy (or wherever it was). By the way, don’t read into any hype about “the greatest bar-room brawl ever composed on film”. I’ve seen better fights/action in Road House with Patrick Swayze!

Dead Channel’s Rating: 2/10 (one for pure pity and one for the bike part)

By Numskull

Two things, and two things only prevent this movie from getting a perfect 10/10: the story’s moments of incomprehensibility and the substandard interaction between the 3 brothers. Since this movie is so crammed with action sequences, a few extra scenes that clarify the plot wouldn’t have hurt it in the least. And, although Jackie and Samo have a few scenes together, Yuen Biao (a.k.a. The Perpetual Underdog)’s talents are wasted in an insignificant role as a cop. If I had watched this movie without knowing that he was in it, I probably wouldn’t have noticed him.

Aside from these flaws, PROJECT A is pure gold. Many a fine brawl erupts that is loaded with whole new types of pain. Just watching some of them is enough to jar your preserves. Filter the dookie out of all the waste excreted by the stuntmen and you could start your own blood bank.

My personal favorite was the fight in the V.I.P. club populated by tight-assed, elitist shit-fucks who probably piss seltzer and have lurid dreams in which wealthy young women shed one of their seventeen layers of clothing before waking up with a perfectly dreadful bead of perspiration soiling their imported blankets or their pampered skin. I hate rich people (“and when I finally become a rich person, I’m gonna hate poor people. It’s the American way.” -Kirstie Alley from one of the last episodes of CHEERS).

And speaking of which, did anybody else notice the striking similarity between the PROJECT A scene in which Jackie opens the door to his office to find everyone clustered around it, eavesdropping on him and the CHEERS scene in which Sam opens the door to his office to find everyone clustered around it, eavesdropping on him? Either the CHEERS writers pulled a Spielberg or they share a trans-oceanic, psychic rapport with Jackie and don’t know it. Anyway, see the damn movie. Bad things will happen to you if you don’t.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

By Dan-O

In this wet and wild outing, Jackie puts on skimpy sailor suit and enjoys getting himself handcuffed, climbing large poles, rolling around with big, sweaty pirates with nipple rings, and….

Woah, wher’d THAT come from?!!? EEEEEEWWWWWW! I gotta take a shower now.

Despite the homoerotic undertones (real or imagined), this is the kinda Jackie Chan movie that you’d sell a vital internal organ to see in it’s original theatrical form (I’ll sell one of my livers. I can get by with one). This is also the kind of Jackie Chan movie that makes me proud to be alive in a day and age when we humans, as a species, can appreciate such a fine quality film as this. First Strike, although fun in spots, is now to me nothing more than dried fecal matter between the toes of this movie. Jackie was obviously in TOP form for this picture, as were the other 2 “Little Fortunes”. That head pirate is one wild lookin’ freak, but how would YOU know, unless you saw the film, in which case you shouldn’t even NEED to be reading this, so what the hell are you doing here anyway, huh, you lookieloo; you rubbernecking bastard, you’re holding up net traffic somewhere, and you couldn’t care less, could you, you cretin! GO BACK TO OREGON!

Lesson to be learned in this Mutha of all Sailor Movies: Just because they wear those uniforms doesn’t mean they’re gay; then again…… (Hey you! Please don’t send me death threats. I’m only kidding. Lemme see a smile. Thaaaats better.)

Dan-O’s Rating: 9/10 flagpoles

By Vic Nguyen

A true classic from action master Jackie Chan. This man performs some stunts that nobody will ever believe. In this film, Jackie plays Dragon Ma, a wiseacre who works for the border patrol sailors, but they soon have to disband to join the police force in order to catch some wanted pirates. Connected to the plot are some of the most incredible fights and stunts ever shot on film, including a great bicycle chase and the fall from the clocktower that could have seriously hurt or killed Jackie Chan. That is what this man puts himself through to please his loyal fans. A must see picture!

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9/10

By Yummyspam

This was Jackie’s first modern movie, and probably his best. Jackie performs stunts that were unknown to the world at the time, and he does them as well or better then ever done before. This is the first of the “Three Brothers” films, which feature Jackie with his Peeking Opera Classmates, Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao.

I will sadly admit that the first half-hour of this film is pretty dull and unexciting. Normally, I would take off some points for that, but trust me, the rest of the flick more than makes up for it!!! After enduring some painful scenes of “coast guard” life, Jackie soon reverts to butt-kicking form. Jackie is certainly the star of this film. Sammo has less screen time, and Yuen seems to be in an extened cameo. Which is too bad, as the combination of all 3 is one of the highlights of Cinema.

Anyway, the things that stand out in this film are the bicycle chase, the legendary clock tower scene, and the dozens of fights that break out during this film.

Yummyspam’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |

Blades of Blood aka Like the Moon Get Out the Clouds, Like the Moon Escaping from the Clouds DVD (Lionsgate)

Posted on June 20, 2011 by JJ Bona
Blades of Blood aka Like the Moon Get Out the Clouds, Like the Moon Escaping from the Clouds DVD (Lionsgate)

Blades of Blood aka Like the Moon Get Out the Clouds, Like the Moon Escaping from the Clouds DVD (Lionsgate)

RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011

During a turbulent time when political upheaval, rebellion, and invasion are coming to a head with a clash between two swordsmen caught up in a violent and bloody struggle to seize control of the country they love. With their army of alliance standing behind them they will meet for the most important battle of their lives. Swords will be drawn while many lives are lost, but only one swordsman will walk away the new king of the land. Check out the trailer here.

Starring Hwang Jeong-Min (“A Bittersweet Life”), Cha Seung-Won (“An Eye for an Eye”), and Han Ji-Hye (“Love Me Once Again”).

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |
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