Golden Swallow aka Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Golden Swallow aka Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Golden Swallow aka Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011

“Golden Swallow” is the sequel to King Hu’s 1966 masterpiece, “Come Drink With Me.” Chang Cheh takes over the director’s chair and transforms Hu’s classic theatrical-style flick into an extravaganza of extreme violence and comic book-like gore! Starring Jimmy Wang Yu, Cheng Pei Pei, Lo Lieh and many more! Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers). Read cityonfire.com’s review.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Blood Brothers aka Dynasty of Blood DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Blood Brothers aka Dynasty of Blood DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Blood Brothers aka Dynasty of Blood DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011

Set in the waning years of the Ching Dynasty, this dramatic, tragic, romantic, blood-soaked martial arts tale of betrayal and revenge explores one of the most sensational scandals in Chinese history. Directed by Chang Cheh and starring David Chiang, Ti Lung, Chen Kuan Tai, Ching Li and Wang Lung Wei! Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers). Read cityonfire.com’s review.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Killer Clans aka Killer Clan DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Killer Clans aka Killer Clan DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Killer Clans aka Killer Clan DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011

Based on a popular swordplay novel by Ku Lung, this action packed 1976 Shaw Brothers classic is directed by Chor Yuen (“The House of 72 Tenants”), and stars Chung Wa, Chan Ping, Yueh Hua, Lo Lieh, Wong Chung and many more! Featuring choreography by Yuen Cheung-yan (Yuen Woo Ping’s brother). Check out the the trailer (beware of possible spoilers).

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Iron Fisted Monk, The (1977) Review

"The Iron Fisted Monk" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Iron Fisted Monk” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Sammo Hung
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Sammo Hung Kam-bo, Chan Sing, Lo Hoi Pang, Fung Hak On, James Tien, Dean Shek, Chiu Hung, Wong Hap, Chin Yuet Sang, Chu Ching, Casanova Wong, Hsiao Ho, Meng Hoi, Eric Tsang, Wu Ma
Running Time: 90 min.

By Perkele

Sammo’s directorial debut, The Iron Fisted Monk is somewhat of a very impressive start for his directing career. Even though it’s his first time, he handles the directing like an old-timer. The story moves on swiftly, and there’s enough superb fight action to keep fans of the genre satisfied. The fighting (co-arranged by Jackie Chan) is about as good as in his later films, or in other words, f*cking fantastic!

What brings the overall viewing experience down a bit, it’s the suddenly changing tone of the film. It begins as a nice action comedy with Sammo portraying a rather idiotic Shaolin student Miller Six (a real existed, historical kung fu hero) who fools around just like Jackie Chan later did in his smash hits Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow and Drunken Master. Early on Miller Six has a few cool bouts with James Tien and the famous monk San Te (the guy who Gordon Liu played in 36th Chamber, here Chen Sing). Then the evil Manchus come, and the film isn’t fun anymore.

The Manchus are indeed evil, brutally slaughtering innocent old man and lots of other people. The meanest and nastiest of them is who else but Fong Hark On (surprise!), and he really is a dirty bastard son of a bitch. Besides killing, he has a whole TWO distasteful and repulsive rape scenes, which are shown in great detail (that is compared to other chop sockies, not X-rated stuff). Hell, Sammo should’ve just present us a few hints that Fong Hark On is obviously determined to rape these young ladies, not the entire act, goddamnit! Showing him murdering nice people is depressing enough, but these brutal rapings almost spoil the film! Gladly soon enough Miller Six teams up with San Te and they have a spectacular fight with the best of the Manchu fighters and Hark On gets what he deserves.

First class kung fu-ery, only suffering from the few unsavory moments.

Perkele’s Rating: 7.5/10

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Hapkido | aka Lady Kung Fu (1972) Review

"Hapkido" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Hapkido” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Huang Feng
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Angela Mao, Sammo Hung, Carter Wong, Wang In Sik, Pai Ying, Teruo Yamane, Nancy Sit Kar Yin, Bruce Leung, Paul Wei, Gam Dai, Ji Han Jae, Suen Lam, Jackie Chan, Lam Ching Ying, Yen Shi Kwan, Yuen Wah
Running Time: 92 min.

By Lawgiver

You don’t get much more old school than this one. Tons of fights, with tons of people. The plot is basically good Chinese against bad Japanese (and bad disloyal Chinese). The trouble starts when Samo’s hotheaded character goes after a couple of drunk, lecherous Japanese guys in a restaurant (when will people in China learn not to eat out; it’s too dangerous). Sure, Samo wins the fight, but the Japanese belong to the Black Bear School, and it isn’t long before it’s school versus school. The most memorable scene in the movie to me takes place in a market; the fight is pretty standard, but there is a scene where boiling water is poured on a poor defenseless woman (mean stuff).

“Hapkido” is Carter Wong’s first film, and as usual, he is a lot of fun. Old Stone-Face Wong hadn’t learned his patented three facial emotions yet (mad, angry, and angry/sad). But even though he’s not much of an actor, I always get a kick out of any movie he’s in.

It is also one of the first starring roles for Samo Hung. It’s weird to see Samo so young and not that fat. One wonders what kind of star Samo might have become if he wasn’t known for his girth, but it is his very fat that makes his fighting so interesting to see on the screen.

Jackie Chan supposedly has a cameo somewhere in the film, the problem is there are a number of fights where one person stands in the middle as hundreds circle and attack one by one. I take people’s word that Chan is in the film, but I’ve never actually caught a glimpse of him (not that I’ve really looked that hard).

But the film isn’t alternately called “Lady Kung Fu” for nothing. Angela Mao is amazing. Unlike a lot of actresses in ’70s movies who fight with a dancey, soft, woman-like style, Angela Mao really looks like she could take your head off.

A lot of fun. Hell, even the opening credits are cool.

Lawgiver’s Rating: 8/10

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Odd Couple | aka Eternal Conflict (1979) Review

"Odd Couple" Chinese DVD Cover

“Odd Couple” Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Lau Kar Wing
Producer: Karl Maka
Cast: Sammo Hung, Lau Kar Wing, Leung Kar Yan, Mars, Lee Hoi San, Dean Shek Tien, Yeung Sai Gwan, Karl Maka, Billy Chan Wui Ngai, Peter Chan Lung, Benny Lai Keung Kuen, Lam Ching Ying, To Wai Wo
Running Time: 97 min.

By Numskull

Another of Sammo Hung’s comedic period kung fu films, this time with him and Lau Kar Wing each playing two of the four main characters. The first pair to whom we are introduced are Naughty Old Man and Crazy Old Man, two old men (!!!) who each insist that their preferred weapon (spear and sword; don’t ask which is which) is superior and keep dueling each other to prove it. Inevitably, these bouts conclude in draws. They decide to train one pupil each and have them carry on the tradition. So, the old Lau Kar Wing recruits the young Sammo Hung, a ferryman, to learn spear fighting, and the old Sammo Hung sets the young Lau Kar Wing’s house on fire to convince him to be his sword fighting student. I had a 9th grade science teacher who liked to set things on fire, but never a whole house. Not that his students knew about, anyway…

Rigorous training ensues, sporadically interrupted for some lame-ass bit of lame-ass comedy, such as Dean Shek’s guest appearance as “Mr. Rocking.” In typical Sammo fashion, the crux of the story, if it can so be called, pops up late in the film, and, not coincidentally, it gets a lot better from there. Leung Kar Yan is a fighter whom the two old men shamed into retirement some years back, and when they arrive at his stronghold to free their captured pupils, a fair amount of hell breaks loose. After about an hour of mostly training sequences and buffoonery, the ass-ripping fight choreography here is doubly welcome. It continues throughout most of the movie’s remainder, culminating in a very predictable conclusion: the two young students…who, by now, have become allies out of necessity…have their fated duel, and lo and behold, neither of them can best the other. “So neither the sword nor the spear is the king of weapons,” says the superfluous narrator. “It is human affection which is invincible.”

Awww.

Well, the movie is still pretty good. I normally dislike the excessive silliness in films of this type, but here, it’s bearable. A satisfactory, if not exceptional, Sammo entry.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10


By Perkele

This movie is awesome! Lau Kar Wing and Sammo are absolute masters –  just look how skilled these guys are! Both handle their weapons with incredible expertise! Forget all the fancy wire enhanced flying sh*t: THIS is REAL kung fu! “The Odd Couple” is almost a flawless masterpiece. It showcases us the best weapon battles ever committed to celluloid. You don’t even want to hope for a fistfight, these sword/spear duels are absolutely fantastic! I can’t believe that anybody likes them patchy Jackie oldies nor that dated Bruce Lee shit over this one. The cassette cover says “choreography here rivals even with the best work of Jackie Chan” or something like that which is quite funny because Jackie was one of the fight choreographers. What’s also funny is this whole movie itself.

The plot is actually based on one invention: “Hey, let’s make a movie where Lau Kar Wing plays an old master of the spear and Sammo Hung plays an old master of the sword and the every ten years these too guys have duel which ends up as a draw every single time!” “Yeah, that’s funny! But I came up with an even FUNNIER idea: let’s make Sammo play also old Lau’s new student and then of course Lau plays old Sammo’s young student!” “Now THAT’S funny! And then these younger guys also duel and are equal as well!” But there can’t be only fights that always end up as a draw, so they threw in an common enemy (Leung Kar Yan) who has been beaten by both old masters and then trained himself for a re-match.

The comedic play between the two main heroes is surprisingly good, but for some stupid reason they hired Dean Shek for a cameo role [involving a disgusting scene where he disgorges eggs]. Besides that, “The Odd Couple” is a top notch film and a must see for every martial arts fun. The best weapons movie ever made.

Perkele’s Rating: 9.5/10

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Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives Blu-ray/DVD (Strand)

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives Blu-ray/DVD (Strand)

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives Blu-ray/DVD (Strand)

RELEASE DATE: July 12, 2011

Winner of the top prize at the Cannes Film Festival, Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives is a unique tale of a man embracing life’s greatest mystery. Choosing to spend his final days surrounded by his loved ones in the countryside, Boonmee is visited by his dead wife (a ghost) and his lost son (an strange hairy beast with red glowing eyes) who come to guide him to his final resting place, a cave where his first soul began. With a wry sense of humor and a humanist spirit, Uncle Boonmee, one of the most critically acclaimed films of the year, is a magical tale of reincarnation, karma and nature.

Check out the trailer here.

Update: The director is also currently heading up a sidebar at the Venice Film Festival.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Dragon Inn (1992) Review

"New Dragon Inn'" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“New Dragon Inn'” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: New Dragon Gate Inn
Director: Raymond Lee
Co-director: Tsui Hark
Co-director: Ching Siu-tung
Cast: Brigitte Lin, Maggie Cheung, Tony Leung Ka-Fai, Donnie Yen, Hung Yan-yan, Yuen Bun, Ng Kai-wah, Lan Tun, Yam Sai-Kwoon, Yuen Cheung-Yan
Running Time: 88/99 min.

By Numskull

While I wouldn’t refer to this movie as an “epic” it does have a wide narrative and visual scope that places it head and shoulders over many other Chinese martial arts/swordplay films. It doesn’t need to resort to having people duke it out every ten minutes to tell its story, and the non-action scenes, by and large, are just as engaging as the fights. It rivals the overpraised Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in terms of slick cinematography and character development. Too bad it doesn’t have Yuen Wo-Ping to give it that extra “oomph.”

The fight scenes in Dragon Inn rely a little too heavily on wires and suspension of disbelief on the part of the viewer for my taste. I think the term “wire fu” is thrown around a little too casually, and distinctions need to be made between the degrees to which the fights in films like this are, how shall we say, “enhanced.” You’ve got something like Iron Monkey (the ’93 version) where the role of wires is primarily to exaggerate peoples’ jumps and the impact of critical blows…well, OK. Fine by me. Then, you’ve got movies where the “martial arts” (note quote marks) choreographers go so overboard on having people bounce off walls and blow each other up without the help of explosive devices that they forget to have them…y’know, HIT each other. The best example of this type I can think of is the wretched Butterfly & Sword. Putting BOTH types of combat under the catch-all category of “wire fu” is, in my opinion, sheer folly.

Dragon Inn’s battles lie somewhere between these two realms, with people jumping all over the damn place and performing attacks straight out of a video game, BUT not forgetting to do some actual hand-to-hand fighting while they’re at it. It’s pretty obvious that a certain amount of undercranking was used in places, too. With the film’s above-average storytelling, though, the martial arts aspect somewhat lessens in significance. Rather than just waiting for the next outbreak of violence, you actually start to care about what happens to these characters. Maggie Cheung’s performance is definitely the standout of the bunch. She plays a seductive innkeeper who has her foreign chef make meat buns out of her “victims” and she seems to be on both sides of the conflict…a real bitch, but still inexplicably likable. Donnie Yen, on the other hand, does very little other than stare straight ahead really intensely until the film’s bloody climax.

Not a bad movie by any means, but not exactly the instant classic that Tai Seng’s DVD packaging makes it out to be, either. They say this restored director’s cut is 103 minutes. Wrong…it’s 99. The theatrical release, I’m guessing, was 88. Ric Meyers (Inside Kung Fu magazine) has a commentary track and, praise God, you can watch it dubbed or subtitled (are you listening, Dimension?). One of those rare HK/Chinese films that doesn’t really need any polish and can be enjoyed, to some extent, by just about everyone (or at least those who want to see Maggie partially naked).

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

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Blade, The (1995) Review

"The Blade" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Blade” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Vincent Zhao, Hung Yan-Yan, Song Lei, Moses Chan, Austin Wai, Valerie Chow, Jason Chu Wing-Tong, Michael Tse, Ngai Sing, Yuen Bun
Running Time: 100 min.

By Iuxion

Call me crazy, but I’ve always liked movies like The Blade, you know, wuxia movies with tight choreography and lots of swords. However, recently all that wire-fu with The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, etc. etc. has been getting me a little bored. Sure, it’s great, but I want something different now; something more realistic yet just as intense. So when I heard someone pitch The Blade as a Tsui Hark classic with no wires and lots of swordplay in the style of Wong Kar Wai, I couldn’t be more excited.

Tsui Hark basically utilizes every technique Wong Kar Wai is known for in this dark retelling of the One-Armed Swordsmen, but fails to emulate any of the stuff that fans really like in that director’s movies, mainly his interesting well-rounded characters. Tsui Hark’s characters are about as likable as an old rusted toilet, and his movie essentially looks like one too. To say that this movie is dark is an understatement-don’t expect The Swordsmen trilogy. I guess he was trying to gritty and bold (and a lot of this was pretty pointless story wise, besides being atmospheric). Not that I hate movies that concentrate on mood or atmosphere instead of a plot (quite the opposite actually), it’s just that there has to be something there. Staring at a bunch of dirty people, some of who hang naked upside down burnt to crisp, for two hours is not my idea of entertainment. Maybe he (Tsui Hark) should have concentrated on the script.

The one redeeming factor of this movie is the final fight sequence, which is obviously sped up a great deal, but is still interesting and well done. The rest of the fights don’t fare so well-sure, I wanted realistic action, but if it all looks this bad (think the James Bond fight sequences without the guns), I’ll take wire-fu any day.

In conclusion, this movie is very very bad, and I wanted to like it so much. Tsui Hark has never been my favorite director, although I have liked some of this other films (Time and Tide being one of them, a movie that also uses a lot of Wong Kar-wai techniques, but puts them to a better use).

Iuxion’s Rating: 4/10

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Legend of Zu, The (2001) Review

"The Legend of Zu" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Legend of Zu” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Zu Warriors
Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Zhang Ziyi, Sammo Hung Kam-Bo , Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin, Cecilia Cheung, Wu Jing, Louis Koo Tin-Lok, Kelly Lin, Patrick Tam Yiu-Man, Wu Yue
Running Time: 104 min.

By Numskull

You know what sucks? When you expect a movie to be really, really bad… and it turns out to be really, really, REALLY bad.

Tsui Hark’s follow up to his 1983 hit Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain is not so much a movie as it is an exercise in visual masturbation and technological overindulgence the likes of which is rarely seen outside of the Star Wars series. “Eye candy” suggests something sweet, but the taste that Legend of Zu will leave in your mouth is so bitter, you’ll gargle with your own piss to get rid of it.

This pile of dung was a critical and commercial failure (compared to what was expected of such a high-profile film, anyway), and it’s not hard to see why. Tsui Hark fails to realize that you CAN have too much of a good thing. Sure, the special effects are slick, but when you saturate the celluloid with them at every opportunity and allow them to completely overwhelm the story (feeble though it may be), they cease to be “special” and they cause the whole movie to become a blur (even more so than in the first Zu film). I am truly in awe of how absorbing The Legend of Zu ISN’T. During the last 20 minutes or so, I probably glanced at the timer on my DVD player TWICE for each CGI shot. Yes folks, it’s THAT dull.

Let’s see…there’s a nasty demon named Insomnia who appears in the form of a skull composed of lots of shining, floating spheres, two old friends named Sky King and Red, a couple named Hollow and Enigma, that “Whitebrows” guy again, and a whole bunch of other characters (mostly immortals) about whom I simply could not make myself give a shit. The jumble of subplots will pass through your head like spaghetti through a strainer. The only part that stood out for me was when the little red fairy took up residence in some guy’s skull, because it reminded me of the song “Lady Rosenred” by Lake of Tears, which starts: “There’s a fairy in my head and I call her Lady Rosenred.” Why am I mentioning this? A) To shamelessly plug one of my favorite bands (alas, they’ve split up) and B) because I’d rather just sit and listen to that one song for 104 minutes (that would be about 40 or 45 times, I think; it’s short) than endure this shitty movie again.

With all the notable names attached to Legend of Zu (besides Tsui Hark, I mean), you’d think that some modicum of enjoyment could be had based on talent alone, but that is not the case. Cecelia Chung, Louis Koo and company can’t be expected to act at their best when they’re standing in front of blue screens 90% of the time. Zhang Ziyi has very limited screen time and displays neither the dramatic vigor nor the physical grace of her previous films; yet another disappointment. She stole Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, she stole Rush Hour 2, and she might have stolen Musa (her best film to date) if not for the unbelievably cool performance of Korean actor Jung Woo-sung. In one scene, she sneers at some guy (can’t be bothered to keep track of who’s who): “You make me sick.” I wonder…was she thinking of Tsui Hark when she said that? Then there’s Sammo Hung, in a different role than in the first Zu, who probably wished like hell that he was still doing that Martial Law TV show when this film came out. And perhaps most wasted of all is the one and only Yuen Wo-ping, lending his talents to the production in the position of martial arts instructor (or choreographer, or whatever…in a movie this bad, it simply doesn’t matter). Question: doesn’t “martial arts instructor” (or choreographer, or…oh yeah, I already did that) imply that the movie is actually going to have martial arts in it? All I saw here was people waving their hands around (I guess maybe that counts, but that doesn’t mean I can’t raise a stink over it) while staring vacuously at some spot where a computer-generated image was to be inserted later. Oh yeah, and a tiny bit of swordplay between yet another “some guy” and some OTHER guy, shot only from behind, dressed up as Zhang Ziyi’s character (I was going to try and work in some reference to the double wearing “ZZ’s Top” but it wouldn’t have been funny, so fuck it).

The best thing about Legend of Zu is that Bob and Harvey Weinstein/”Scissorhands” gave it their backing (even in its original state, I mean), so it’s a safe assumption that the cocksuckers lost money on it. Now they’ve given it the Miramax treatment (including a new title, “Zu Warriors”) and, with any luck, will lose money on that, too. I’d love to think that the film’s overall shittiness will sour these bastards on Hong Kong cinema so they leave it the fuck alone, but let’s not get our hopes up.

Overall, I would say that Legend of Zu is slightly more fun that bathing in sulfuric acid. Nice scenery and a decent musical score can’t stop it from sucking really, really hard. A colossal waste of time, energy, and resources that should go down in history as one of the biggest fuck-ups that the cinematic art form ever spawned.

Numskull’s Rating: 2/10

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Time and Tide (2001) Review

"Time and Tide" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Time and Tide” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Nicholas Tse, Wu Bai, Candy Lo, Cathy Chui, Joventino Couto Remotigue, Anthony Wong, Jack Kao Jie, Kenji Tanigaki, Frankie Chin Chi Leung
Running Time: 113 min.

By Sergio Martorelli

Hark, the herald angels sing, is back in the Hizzouz!!! After two years in Hollywood helming Jean-Claude Van Damme’s crapfests “Double Team” and “Knock Off”, the main man of action returned to Hong Kong and did “Time and Tide” – that, uneven as it is, packs more excitement in one freeze frame than the entire career of Mr. Muscles From Brussels (BTW, when “Monaco Forever” will be, uh, “outed” on DVD? Everytime I see Van Damme, credited as “The Gay Karate Man”, grabbing another guy’s crotch while grudging lines like “the sky is so beautiful, eh?” and “you have strong legs”, I need a brand new pair of Depends!). I won’t delve into the life and times of Tsui Hark or make comparisons between “Time and Tide” and his past work.

I know he did better movies, but I like to look at the future as well. And judging by this brainless, adrenalin-pumping of a film, the future still looks pretty shiny and bright, thank you very much. Plotwise, “Time” requires complete suspension of disbelief from the get-go. I mean, the villains are chinese actors with chinese features and chinese accents. But they speak spanish and have names like Juan, Pepe and Pablo, so we have to assume they are latin guys! I can live with that, except for one detail: the baddies apparently come from Aracaju, a famous beach in Sergipe, Brazil. So far, so good. But in Hark’s “Aracaju”, everybody speaks spanish (Brazil’s language is portuguese) and there are tornadoes. Damn fucking TORNADOES, crognabbitt! FYI, there are NO twisters, earthquakes or active volcanos to be found anywhere in Brazil, only some floods here and there. So now you know. But why am I bitching about it?

If Hark can get away with chinese latinos, he can put tornadoes in Sergipe if he wants to. At least the end result is a hell of an action scene, far more interesting with strong winds blowing stuff around than any boring, sunny scenario! The story? Oh, yeah. Take notes. Here it goes: there’s this lesbian policewoman called Ah Jo (Cathy Tsui) who’s working as a prostitute decoy. Or maybe she likes to get out at night wearing funny wigs, who knows? After being dumped by her girlfriend, she goes to the nearest bar and challenges the bartender Tyler (Nicholas Tse) for a drinking game, or something like that. Next time we see ’em, they’re puking on taxis and sleeping together. When Ah Jo wakes up with a man, she goes berserk. And with good reason: she got preggers with Tyler’s seed. But Tyler isn’t the fuck’n’run type. He may steal Zippos from time to time, but he’s a nice and responsible guy. Ah Jo wants to keep him away from her life at any cost, but Tyler REALLY cares about her and even gets a job at Uncle Ji’s illegal bodyguard company. Tyler becomes the first bodyguard in movie history to walk around with a TOY GUN, cause Uncle Ji (played by the great Anthony Wong) doesn’t want to give him a real one!

Meanwhile, we’re introduced to Jack (singer Wu Bai), a former member of the brazilian-sino-latin gang. The others call him “Juan”, so I guess Jack is latino too – what may be the reason why the wealthy father of his pregnant wife Ah Hui (Candy Ho) doesn’t like him. Moving on: the gang is planning to move operations from the windy Hark-aracaju to Hong Kong, but that idea doesn’t sit well with Jack, who wants to put his past far, far away, and concentrate on his new life. There we have it: both Tyler and Jack have pregnant ladies to take care of. So where does that lead us? It leads us nowhere, cause Hark’s just throws the story away at this point and starts piling action sequence over action sequence until the last frenetic frame. We already know what we have to about the main characters, we know we like ’em and seeing ’em dying would be not very nice, and now. IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! Action is what we have, in spades and filmed in ways we rarely see since they invented CGI stuntmen. Apart from some Matrix-like effects here and there, what we see is a bunch of REAL stunts, with people jumping from tall buildings that are not green-screen composites.

There are tons of gunplay (see a woman shooting a guy WHILE GIVING BIRTH!), car chases, exploding refrigerators, ass kicking, flying babies and so on till the happy ending! Time and Tide is a movie that will give you a new outlook of life and teach you new and valuable lessons about how to be a better person? Of course not! If you’re a cranky & nerdy Cahiers Du Cinemá-type who likes your movies with deep meanings and hidden messages, you’ll probably say that you just wasted 113 minutes of your life with this dreck. Well… if you don’t like that kind of film, why are you reading this? Go masturbate in Hell, dude! Oh yeah, let’s get technical. Excellent image quality, great surround sound, commentary track by director Tsui Hark is a must-hear (at least his english is understandable), blah blah blah, now leave me alone willya?

Sergio Martorelli’s Rating: 8/10


By Joe909

Everything you’ve read about this movie is true. The plot is impenetrable, you have no idea who anyone is, or what their motivations are, goofy camera tricks straight out of MTV are the order of the day, and the English language is butchered before your very ears, courtesy some dreadlocked punk who likes to talk about cockroaches. But other than that, Time & Tide really isn’t that bad. That’s not to say it’s great, though.

From what I have learned via the Web, it seems that Tsui Hark not only cut down on the length of action scenes when editing his movie, he also cut out dialog scenes. This gives the impression that he took a Wong Kar-Wai approach to editing the movie: filtering out scenes that would actually explain what the hell is going on, leaving it up to the viewer to put the pieces together and follow the plot. However, whereas Wong Kar-Wai is able to do something like this successfully, Hark leaves us with a mess of a story. But then again, stories have never been his strong point. What Time & Tide comes off as is an action movie as produced by an older director who’s trying to prove to the youngsters that he’s hip: it’s got a young, all-star cast, funky music, and special effects straight out of “Fight Club” and “Three Kings.” However, Hark was so busy showing off his experimental skills that he forgot to give us good characters and a discernable story.

The cast is pretty good. Nicholas Tse gets beaten up throughout the movie, but keeps on ticking. I especially liked how he ran around with a fake gun, and had a penchant for pocketing cigarette lighters. Wu Bai was as cool as Mad Dog, from “Hard Boiled.” Bai’s a dead ringer for former Stone Roses lead singer Ian Brown. Wanna see for yourself? Check out the cover to Brown’s first solo album, here. As for the rest of the cast, Anthony Wong stole the show. And the two leading actresses were not only beautiful, but also added a much-needed element of emotion to the film.

The action scenes in this movie are it’s lone saving grace, but they’re still nowhere near as exhilarating as anything in “The Killer,” “Hard-Boiled,” or “A Hero Never Dies.” The action in Time & Tide is more of the cat-and-mouse variety, with Bai’s former comrades hunting him, and vice versa. There are a lot of shots of Bai lurking in corners, or under things, aiming his gun at someone, but very seldom shooting. There isn’t a high body count in Time & Tide, that’s for sure. But that’s probably a good thing; more characters in the movie would only have increased the messiness of the story. There’s even a little wire-fu thrown in, and the shot of Bai rappelling down the building while being shot at is pretty cool. Actually, there’s more rappelling in this movie than “Vertical Limit,” or whatever that “extreme” mountain-climbing movie was named. But anyway, call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather just see a regular, well-choreographed gunfight than slick shots of guys cabling down stairwells or hiding up on the ceiling.

I’d recommend this movie, just because there’s a certain freshness to it, but like I wrote above, you can’t help but get the feeling that Tsui Hark’s trying to come off as cool and “with it” as his younger competitors. Plus, there’s a cool little Bruce Lee reference: when Wu Bai cables down the stairwell, you can hear, coming from someone’s TV, Bruce Lee’s mid-1960s screen test for the role of Kato: “My last name is Lee. Bruce Lee.”

Also, did anyone notice that the main protagonists of this movie ? Tyler and Jack ? have the same names as the two main characters in “Fight Club?”

Joe909’s Rating: 6.5/10


By Woody

This movie blows. And I don’t mean like hot porn stars with big titties who know what they’re doing. This movie blows like a hooker with a bad gag reflex. Yeah, it looks pretty good from the outset, but in the end, it’s a big mess and you want your money back.

Nic Tse (the asshole who is currently banging Faye Wong) is this dude who wants to go to South America, but accidentally gets a cop, who is apparently a lesbian, pregnant. To raise money to give to her for the baby, he hooks up with the woefully underused (at least in this movie…what movie has this guy not been in?!?) Anthony Wong, who runs a bodyguard service. Then a criminal (I say this because I have no idea what the fuck he was supposed to actually be), played by Wu Bai, comes onto the scene and nothing makes sense. I’ve watched this movie more times than God! And still, not one inkling as to what the plot is about. If anyone knows…please, enlighten me!

Oh yeah, the action and special effects are good. But that is kind of like putting cake icing on dog shit. You still wouldn’t eat it…at least I hope not. Then again…some of you guys…tsk..tsk..tsk…

All in all, this is one of those purchases I should have rented before buying. And that is what I recommend you do…I know some who love this, and the smarter of us who don’t. To think, this was supposed to be Tsui Hark’s comeback after all of that Van Dammage he created over here in the States. He should of never fucked with John Woo. What, you think it’s a coincidence Tsui Hark is not famous over here? Remember all that shit Tsui Hark said about John Woo back in the “The Killer” days? You just can’t fuck with my man John Woo. Ya hear that Tsui baby….don’t fuck with the Woo!!!!!!!! Little fucker. Wait…what the fuck was I talking about?!? Oh yeah, Time and Tide. Not recommended.

Woody’s Rating: 4/10


By Numskull

Good Lord. This is the best example of flash over substance I’ve seen since…well, ever.

Time and Tide uses stylish action choreography, hyperactive camera work, bizarre editing effects, and occasional bits of computer animation (such as a sequence showing the inner workings of a handgun as it’s being fired) to gloss over its tepid plot, unremarkable performances, and spectacularly incompetent storytelling. The movie is plagued with poor editing decisions, subplots that don’t go anywhere, and multiple, nameless characters with identical hairstyles. Lots of us like to see creatively shot action and some of us enjoy a storyline that makes you think and forces you to pay attention, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. Time and Tide does such a miserable job of explaining what’s going on, you won’t know who (if anybody) to root for when the bullets start flying. More often than not, the viewer is simply left in the dark.

Nic Tse is a guy who wants to be a beach bum, so he goes from being a bartender to being a bodyguard to earn extra money. Wu Bai is a hitman who sort of befriends Nic and is involved with a group of South American baddies, including a guy with dreadlocks who fries cockroaches with a magnifying glass and has some of the worst (and most unconvincingly delivered) English dialogue the world has ever heard. Anthony Wong plays Nic’s boss and doesn’t have nearly enough to do here. He simply disappears a little over an hour into the movie (which, come to think of it, is probably a good thing…it means he didn’t waste as much time with this film as he could have). There’s also two pregnant women and a slew of supporting characters who exist only to get perforated by gunfire or blown away in other creative ways.

Time and Tide is like Jennifer Lopez: trash, getting by simply by looking good and being a little bold. When the best non-action scene is Nic Tse and a lesbian vomiting on car roofs, you know you’ve got problems. To show you just how much thought went into the script, check this out: Dreadlock Man says that a certain job is arranged for “the third Friday of this month,” which happens to fall on the 13th. Now, unless the calendar week has been shortened by at least one full day without my knowledge, this situation is IMPOSSIBLE…the third one of any day in any month cannot be earlier than the 15th of that month. Did they let this slip by because they thought no one would notice, or were they just too fucking stupid to catch it in the first place?

Fun is fun, and action movies need not have riveting premises to be enjoyable. I’ve given high praise in the past to films with little going for them EXCEPT the action…the difference between them and this, my friends, is that THEIR plots, while not exactly possessed of breathtaking creativity, were at least comprehensible. THIS, on the other hand…this just blows. It’s an overhyped, overrated, overstylized mess. I’ll give it credit for well-staged fights and shootouts, but as far as everything else goes, the cast and primary creative forces should hang their heads in shame. If anyone tries to tell you that they “got it”…ALL of it…on their first time, and that your confusion regarding certain plot elements is due to your failure to pay sufficient attention, you can rest assured that that person is full of shit.

Numskull’s Rating: 4/10


By Alexander

It absolutely boggles my Asian cinema saturated mind that films like “The Musketeer”, “Kiss of the Dragon”, “Rush Hour 2”, “Replacement Killers” and other HK/U.S. hybrids get wide domestic releases and open big but a film like Tsui Hark’s “Time and Tide”, one of the greatest action films ever made, disappears from two, TWO, L.A. area movie houses in a single weekend. American audiences are supposedly major fans of the action genre (evidenced by the late-’80s to early-’90s successes of muscle laden hulks like Schwarzennegar, Van Damme, Lundgren, Stallone, etc.?), yet “Time and Tide” — bursting at the blood-soaked seams with some of the most creatively filmed action EVER and surpasses even Woo’s endeavors in “The Killer” and “Hard Boiled” — dies a painfully quick and ignored death on a few screens nationwide and is relegated to a few rental copies at Blockbuster and the discount shelves at Best Buy. If any recent Asian film could have, SHOULD have capitalized on the “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” craze, subtitles and all, “Time and Tide” was it. Sadly, Tsui Hark’s “Tide” will be widely ignored by mainstream audiences and only embraced by those of us that bother to read the updates on COF. A shame!

About “Time and Tide”:

Wu Bai is amazing. His agility is simply astounding and easily rivals the athleticism of both Jackie Chan and Jet Li. It was also entirely refreshing to see a HK film starring someone who wasn’t cast simply because of their model good looks and magazine cover resume. And Nicholas Tse proves he’s not just a HK pretty boy. His perfomance is one of the best I’ve seen. Finally, Candy Lo, Cathy Chui and Joventino Remotigue add style and flair to round out the cast.

I’m not a huge fan of Tsui Hark’s (I still think “OUATIC” is overrated), but “Tide” includes some of the most creatively filmed scenes in cinematic history. His camera literally goes everywhere. And Xiong Xin-Xin’s action sequences surpass anything in “Hard Boiled” and “The Killer”, my two favorite HK films.

The ONLY negative thing I can say about this film is that its plot is so convoluted you’ll be scratching your head just minutes into it wondering what the hell is going on. Characters seemingly appear out of nowhere and their allegiances are never adequately explained. (For instance, Wu Bai plays a shady character with ties to a drug cartel but he quickly becomes allies with good-guy Nicholas Tse. Hm.) Regardless, “Time and Tide” is easily the most enjoyable HK film I’ve seen since Woo’s masterpieces “The Killer”, “Hard Boiled”, and “ABITH”. HIGHLY recommended.

Alexander’s Rating: 9.5/10


By Vic Nguyen

SETTING: East Dallas Apartment, pitch black wonderland

Insomnia, insomnia, insomnia. As I am typing this sentence, it is 2:30 in the morning, June 8th, central standard time. The Colorado Avalanche have just won the Stanley Cup (thereby, defecating on Dallas Stars fans everywhere), the city of Houston, Texas has officially become nature’s toilet bowl, and Superman 3 is playing on local television (you know, the one where Sup’s battles that golden lightning bolt homosexual with an eery resemblance to John Tesh with a mullet). I have forcefully planted myself in front of an outdated lab top, opened to Microsoft Word, hoping to type up something meaningful before eventually succumbing to the heavenly bliss of slumber. In the middle of an 8 page essay discussing the merits of Swordfish (both the seafood and the John Travolta vehicle), I am suddenly blindsided by a voice of inspiration, telling me to type up a review of Tsui Hark’s Time and Tide for cityonfire.com. “Why Time and Tide, and why cityonfire.com?” I questioned, but the voice (a forceful individual who identified himself as the Mighty Peking Man), answered with a resounding “shut the fuck up and do as I say.” Having never refused mighty peking men before, I immediately closed my essay on Swordfish (without saving, mind you), and proceeded to work on a review that will hopefully do justice for another masterpiece by the brilliant Tsui Ha…

Dozes off… (Setting: same fucking place, about 12 in the afternoon, June 9th)

(Disclaimer: the above paragraph was written in a haze of bewilderment, alcohol, and as mentioned previously, insomnia. There was no forceful mighty peking man, and I didn’t write an essay on Swordfish (which was a piece of shit by the way, despite Halle Berry’s tits). However, the Colorado Avs did win the cup, Houston really did become nature’s toilet bowl, and Superman 3 really was playing on TV (which goes to show that I had a semblance of sanity at that particular period of time). People do weird shit when they are denied sleep, and what you just read up above should be valid enough proof. So apologies for forcing you to read that meandering shit, and without further ado, here is the review for Time and Tide that you were hoping to read.)

THE ACTUAL REVIEW FOR TSUI HARK’S TIME AND TIDE:

Tsui Hark is a fucking genius. His resume is literally a collection of the best films that Hong Kong cinema has to offer (with diverse features ranging from unpretentious fun (Working Class) to genre-blending masterpiece (Peking Opera Blues), to kung fu epic (Once Upon a Time in China series) to enjoyable oddity (Tri-star), and his Hollywood offerings have been over-criticized (in fact, I feel that Knock Off is vastly underrated, but maybe that’s just me).

With Time and Tide, Tsui Hark, unsurprisingly, reinvents himself once more, giving the audience a fun little adrenaline rush that manages to outdo Knock Off in terms of cinematographic lunacy. I’m hard pressed to come up with a coherent plotline, so let’s just say that it involves a bodyguard corporation (headed by Anthony Wong), a bunch of pregnant women, Latin American’s, a one-night stand, invincible refrigerators, and Canto-pop.

Plot is of little concern anyway, as Time and Tide has so much else going for it. The performances are generally very good (with the exception of the Spanish-speaking performers, who, like the majority of foreigners in a Hong Kong film, are incompetent). Taiwanese musician Wu Bai, in particular, is quite engaging in the second lead role, and performs with considerable skill both acting and action wise. Nicholas Tse is as good as usual (he has grown on me ever since I saw him in Gen-X Cops and Metade Fumaca), while Anthony Wong comes off admirably in a limited supporting role.

The action sequences are choreographed with plenty of flash and athleticism by the great Xiong Xinxin, and are plentiful throughout the duration of the film (the final 45 or so minutes is peppered with nothing but action setpieces). The special effects are quite good for the limited budget allotted for the film, and the cinematography, as mentioned before, is something that must be seen to believe (the camera will literally go anywhere at any time). Not the most intelligent film in the world, but does that really matter?

Time and Tide has received a limited release through cinemas across the country, and is a film that MUST be appreciated on the big screen. Hopefully, it will make it’s way into Dallas soon. Until then, I’m content with my VCD, which boasts great picture (for a VCD) and sharp subtitles (despite the fact that it is full screen).

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Chinese, News, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

True Legend Blu-ray & DVD (Indomina)

"True Legend" American Theatrical Poster

"True Legend" American Theatrical Poster

RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2011

True Legend (click here for our review) is a 2010 Chinese-Hong Kong martial arts action film directed by Yuen Woo-ping, starring Vincent Zhao, Zhou Xun, Jay Chou, Michelle Yeoh, Andy On, David Carradine, Guo Xiaodong, Feng Xiaogang, Cung Le, Gordon Liu, Bryan Leung and Jacky Heung. Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Sungkyunkwan Scandal DVD Set (YA Entertainment)

Sungkyunkwan Scandal DVD Set (YA Entertainment)

Sungkyunkwan Scandal DVD Set (YA Entertainment)

RELEASE DATE: July 26, 2011

Sungkyunkwan Scandal is set in Sungkyunkwan University in the late Joseon era during the reign of King Jeongjo, revolving around the exploits and love stories of four youths. When her younger brother’s illness worsens and their family is in danger of being evicted from their house for lack of money, Kim Yoon Hee enters the school under his name, disguised as a boy in her desperation to support him. There, she becomes friends with the intelligent and upright Lee Sun Joon, the playboy Goo Yong Ha and rebellious Moon Jae Shin. Check out the trailer.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Swingers Blu-ray (Lionsgate)

Swingers Blu-ray (Lionsgate)

Swingers Blu-ray (Lionsgate)

RELEASE DATE: August 23, 2011

Swingers is a 1996 comedy-drama film about the lives of single, unemployed actors living on the ‘eastside’ of Hollywood, California during the 1990s swing revival. Written by Jon Favreau and directed by Doug Liman, the movie starred Favreau and Vince Vaughn, and also featured performances by Ron Livingston and Heather Graham. A classic! Check out the trailer here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

The Box aka Hako DVD (Pathfinder)

The Box aka Hako DVD (Pathfinder)

The Box aka Hako DVD (Pathfinder)

The Box reflects on the relation between humanity, technology and nature through dream-like sequences – of an old craftsmanwho makes machines from rocks, his death, which transforms his village into a wasteland, and a box with a mind of its own and a secret inside – Hong Kong International Film Festival

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |