“Dr. Wai in the Scripture Without Words” Theatrical Poster
Director: Ching Siu-tung
Cast: Jet Li, Rosamund Kwan, Charlie Young, Kaneshiro Takeshi, Law Kar Ying, Billy Chow Bei Lei, Collin Chou, Johnnie Kong Yeuk Sing
Running Time: 91 min.
By Numskull
Holy crap, what a waste. Of time, of money, of energy, of potential. This could have been a remarkable action-adventure with a scope the width of which is rarely seen in Hong Kong cinema. Instead, it’s just ninety yawn-inducing minutes pasted together in a fashion that tries to accomplish too much with too little.
Jet Li plays both a pulp adventure story writer and his own creation: The King of Adventurers, a thrill-seeker clearly inspired by Indiana Jones, but with more of a roguish streak. Jet the writer is married to a bitchy, unfaithful woman named Monica who wants a divorce, and it’s hurting his productivity. While the hostility between them intensifies, the latest chapter in the ongoing King of Adventurers saga is written by Jet, two of his co-workers, and Monica herself. A story being told in installments by several people with differing viewpoints on how it should progress is a pretty cool idea, but the stylistic differences amongst the various writers aren’t significant enough for this premise to be used to full effect. As the writing reins are passed from one hack to the next, most of The King of Adventurers’s universe remains unchanged, and the viewer will be hard pressed to give a damn whether he and his traveling companions find The Scripture With No Words or not.
Much of the movie’s fictional portion (it’s ALL fiction, of course, but I mean the part that’s fictional to the “real” characters) revolves around a mystic box that emits a light which roasts people alive when opened. Hmm…didn’t I see something like that in a more substantial movie? Ah yes, it was Raiders of the Lost Ark. This film could use a few of those melting Nazis to liven things up.
The movie is rife with anemic, emotionless fight scenes, with the only cool part being the electric fence bit during the battle against the ninjas. There are also cheesy special effects peppered throughout its duration, like the dog-rat creature and the flaming whip-swords. Dialogue gems include “I love to be a pile of shit” and, in one scene, a length of train track leads directly into a row of buildings. Later, Dr. Wai and his buddies drop onto the Great Wall of China…which is over 3600 miles/6000 kilometers in length…and just happen to land on the section containing the ONE secret brick that unlocks the vault wherein the coveted scripture lies. Worst of all is the romance factor, both inside and outside the King of Adventurers story.
Pretty much the only good thing that can be said for this film is that its unusual structure wasn’t a half bad idea. However, the execution is limp-wristed at best, and some people may not like the fact that those portions of the movie where the lion’s share of the action lies aren’t “really” happening.
Oh yeah, and the Mei Ah DVD has no menus of any kind. The package says you can choose Cantonese or Mandarin, but that’s a load of shit. And so is this movie.
Numskull’s Rating: 3/10
