One of the biggest misconceptions about sex toys is that only single people use them. That’s just not true! 78% of women who use sex toys are in a relationship.
So, are those women not satisfied with their sex life? Again, absolutely not. In fact, couples who use sex toys together are likely to find their desire for sex increases, and their sexual relationship enhanced.
But if neither of you has used sex toys before, it can be difficult to know where to start. This is a beginner’s guide for couples of all sexualities who are looking to introduce sex toys in the bedroom.
How to Introduce Sex Toys Into a Relationship
The biggest hurdle for couples wanting to spice up their sex life with toys is to get on the same page. You might want to invest in a closet that would put Christian Grey’s Red Room to shame. But that does not mean your partner wants the same!
Talk to your partner before buying any sex toys so you can address any fears and reservations upfront.
Compliment Your Existing Sex Life
When starting a conversation about using sex toys with your partner, tell them you love the sexual relationship you already have.
You don’t want your partner to think that you want to use sex toys because you are currently unsatisfied. Make it clear you would only like to boost your sex life.
If your partner does not want to use sex toys in the bedroom, it is probably not because they do not like them. It’s more likely that they would feel insecure or nervous. Do whatever you can to put your partner at ease but never pressure them.
Be Open and Honest
You are about to discuss other things you would like to try in bed. It is not the time to get embarrassed or keep your darkest desires to yourself!
Be 100% honest about the type of sex toys you would like to try and what type of stimulation. For example, if you want anal stimulation from your partner wearing a strap-on then say so.
They may not be comfortable with that straight away. But that’s okay, there are ways to work up to it. The most important thing is to trust your partner and be straight with them.
The Best Sex Toys for Beginners
This is the fun part. Once you are both open to experimenting with sex toys, you need to buy some!
For many women, their only frame of reference for sex toys is when Charlotte in Sex and the City bought a rabbit vibrator from a seedy store.
Nowadays, there are a lot of choices when it comes to sex toys for couples. Everything from handcuffs to anal beads to strap-ons. But most couples who are new to adult sex toys will want to start simple.
Here are some of the best sex toys to try with suggestions for same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Every couple is different, but this is a good starting point.
For Hetero Couples
There are three different types of sex toys for heterosexual couples. There are sex toys for men, for women, and for both.
Let’s start with sex toys for women. These toys are often focused on clitoral stimulation.
A single woman may want to start with a vibrating dildo. But a woman in a relationship might consider vibrating love eggs or any vibrating device that fits in the palm.
Either the woman or the partner could hold it in positions where clitoral stimulation is difficult such as doggy style or spooning. It’s a great beginner’s sex toy because the shape is non-threatening and easy to use.
Sex toys for men in relationships usually focus on anal or prostate stimulation. Anal beads are a good sex toy for beginners to try as well as butt plugs. Your partner could pull out the anal beads as you climax or apply small amounts of pressure on the butt plug.
One sex toy that both partners could receive pleasure from is a cock ring.
These are circular-shaped devices that fit onto a penis with a vibrating section that will stimulate the clitoris. This is a great sex toy for beginners because it will enhance classic sex positions such as missionary or cowgirl.
For Same-Sex Couples
Gay sex toys will, of course, depend on which sex we are talking about. Same-sex male couples can use any sex toy made for a heterosexual man.
Although, queer men are often less intimidated by dildos in the bedroom. Either partner could use a dildo (vibrating or not) on the other. Vibrating butt plugs or anal beads are also great beginner sex toys for male couples.
Gay men might also want to try a different type of cock ring made for male pleasure. Usually named a cock sling, this is a type of cock ring that fits snug around the penis and pushes the testicles away.
Again, not every sex toy will be appealing to everyone. Even if it is a ‘beginner’ toy.
For same-sex female couples, vibrating love eggs or g-spot stimulators are perfect beginner options. The key is to get one for each partner so you can control the other person’s sex toy and both be intimately involved in the other’s pleasure.
For All Couples
There are some sex toys (or accessories) that don’t involve any direct stimulation. All genders and sexualities can enjoy these toys!
Restraints or blindfolds are a type of sex toy to try if you want to experiment with bondage. Beginners may feel more comfortable with silky ties than handcuffs or chains.
Likewise, a feather tickler is a great introduction to whipping or other forms of BDSM. It’s a feathered head on a stick that provides a light sensation for you to tease your partner with.
Turn up the Heat in Your Bedroom With Sex Toys
Introducing sex toys into your relationship can only be a good thing. You could experience better orgasms, arousal, and a closer relationship as a result.
As long as you are both up for experimenting, only your imagination limits you!
Check out our other lifestyle articles for more tips and advice.
