Pink Force Commando (1982) Review

“Pink Force Commando” Theatrical Poster

Director: Chu Yen Ping 
Cast: Brigitte Lin Ching-Hsia, Elsa Yang Hui-Shan, Sally Yeh Chian-Wen, Hilda Liu Hao-Yi, Blacky Ko Shou-Liang, Alan Liu Te-Kai, Hsu Pu-Liao, Sylvia Peng Hsueh-Fen, Teresa Tsui Jun-Jun, Wang Kuan-Hsiung, Yu Kam-Po
Running Time: 87 min. 

By Paul Bramhall

I may well have swindled myself by watching Pink Force Commando. At the time of writing I’m in the latter stages of a 12-month detox from madcap Taiwanese director Chu Yen-Ping, having had what we’ll call a ‘bad experience’ with King Swindler last year. So when the opportunity to check out a couple of Taiwan’s all-star female ensemble pieces from 1982 – Golden Queen’s Commandos and Pink Force Commando – upon seeing Yen-Ping’s name at the helm of the former, Pink Force Commando it was. According to the Hong Kong Movie Database, Pink Force Commando was the directorial debut by one of Golden Queen’s Commandos writers – Fu Li – however upon digging a little deeper, other sources such as hkcinemagic (and IMDB, but when it comes to Asian cinema, they hardly have a reputation for being reliable) list Yen-Ping as the director. Did I just unintentionally finish my detox early? It’s possible I’ll never know.

Either way, Pink Force Commando brought the 7 leading ladies of their earlier jaunt back together, some of them playing the same role as they did in Golden Queen’s Commandos, others playing different characters. What they do have in common is that the ladies are once more playing a group of bandidas – we get the legendary Brigitte Lin (Handsome Siblings, Deadful Melody), here still very much known as a dramatic actress in Taiwan, and a full 10 years away from her late career roles in various Hong Kong new wave wuxias. She plays the leader of the group, and is joined by Cantopop star Sally Yeh (I Love Maria, The Killer) clocking in only her 3^rd screen appearance, returning as the explosives specialist Dynamite Susie. Also playing the same character is Elsa Yeung (Challenge of the Lady Ninja, A Life of Ninja), only instead of being a bible brandishing glam rocker, she’s now inexplicably decked out in Lycra superhero getup, complete with cape.

Sylvia Peng (Monkey Business, The Wheel of Life) returns as well, this time as a gold costume adorned fencing expert, as does Cheng Hsiu-Ying (Iron Swallow, The Crazy Monk), decked out in a pair of gratuitously high cut denim hot pants. What the ladies have reunited for is more difficult to ascertain, as the plot speeds along like an out-of-control train that already jumped the tracks before the credits began to roll. We meet them holed up in a ramshackle wooden inn in the desert, surrounded by what appear to be Chinese Nazi’s (although don’t quote me on that one). They’re ladened with a haul of gold, and the Nazis want it, which all leads to a bullet riddled shoot out, ending with the ladies driving a machine gun mounted jeep full speed through the front of the inn to escape (we’ll just assume it can go from 0 – 100 in 0.01 seconds). Moments later, the whole place goes up in a ball of flames behind them, and this is just the pre-credits sequence!

Keeping up with the events that follow requires a particularly high level of mental dexterity, and the words “None of this makes sense” are sure to never be far from the mouths of those who sit down to watch Pink Force Commando. Despite this though, the absurdity on display is evenly matched by the energy behind it, backed up by watching some of Taiwan and Hong Kong’s finest femme fatales onscreen together playing against type (in most cases, very against type!). When we meet Sally Yeh’s character she’s being accosted by a shaolin monk and some lackeys, who are quickly disposed of via a stick of dynamite. Like a video game, around the next corner we get a dose of Bruceploitaiton, as a Bruce Lee lookalike busts out the nunchucks with another trio of undesirables (one of whom is literally wearing a bedsheet) who also end up going up in smoke. Ever wanted to see a movie where Bruce Lee gets blown up by dynamite? You’re in the right place! 

What does any of this have to do with the main plot? To answer that question I’d need to be confident in knowing what the main plot actually was. From an opening where it seems to be about a stash of gold, at some point it becomes about a giant diamond called the Oriental Star, then later its somehow transitioned to everyone looking for a map, before finally it becomes a tale of revenge. The narrative seems to be imbued with a level of self-awareness though, one that makes the lack of a coherent plot feel unimportant to the overall enjoyment there’s to be had. The setting is equally mysterious, perhaps best described as a post-apocalyptic western. Sure it opens up with what appears to be a World War II era scene, but then how do you explain Elsa Yeung shooting holes in the wooden canoe that Sally Yeh attempts to escape in, only for Yeh to then jump onto a jet-ski hiding behind some rocks!?

One of Pink Force Commando’s greatest assets outside of the cast is its cartoon levels of violence. In the opening we discover Brigitte Lin betrays her gang, having fallen in love with the Nazi commander, played by Alan Liu (Heroine of Tribulation, Evil Hits Evil). They run off with the gold and build an entire town – hilariously called Sin City – which contains “a casino, a whore house, massage, and dancing girls.” When her former comrades catch up with her she asks for forgiveness, and agrees to follow the code of anyone who betrays the gang, chopping off her own arm. Liu isn’t too interested in having a one-armed wife, so he defaults back to being the bad guy (ok, it’s debatable that he was ever anything else), and Lin ends up meeting up with The Heartbroken Man, played by Wang Kuan-Hsiung (Shaolin Kung Fu Master, The Golden Mask).

Over 25 years before the Japanese splatter classic The Machine Girl, the Lee Van Cleef channelling Kuan-Hsiung assists Lin by fitting her out with a detachable machine gun arm. Am I the only one who thinks about what the first movie was to feature a character have their arm being replaced by a machine gun? Normal film logic would dictate that Lin and her newly re-friended bandidas then team up take revenge on the Nazis, however this is Pink Force Commando, so as they say on home shopping channels – “But wait, there’s more!” On top of the Nazis they also have to deal with Japanese ninjas led by a returning Hilda Liu Hao-Yi (A Fist Full of Talons, Taoism Drunkard), a dirt bike riding Blacky Ko (Master Killers, Mahjong Dragon) channelling Marlon Brando in The Wild One, the Ku Klux Klan (yep, those guys), and various foreign armies who come together to form an evil super-army.

It all results in the ladies making a bullet riddled, sword slashing last stand in Sin City as the few attempt to take on the hundreds. Stuff is blown up, heads roll, and at the end of it you’ll either be smiling or hoping that there’s no lasting brain damage. Possibly even both. At least for myself, I fell into the former category, and couldn’t help but enjoy the zaniness on display while watching the likes of Brigitte Lin and Sally Yeh hamming it up minus any sense of irony or knowing winks. Pink Force Commando also holds the dubious honour of being the movie which Joseph Lai pulled a scene from to create his IFD Films logo. At one point an Arabian Princess (don’t ask) played by an also returning Teresa Tsui (Island Warriors, The War Dogs) holds the rock sized Oriental Star diamond, arm outstretched above her head on top of a mountain as light gleams off its surface. I admit it was unusual to witness the scene without the IFD Films logo suddenly appearing over it.

My gut tells me it was likely Chu Yen-Ping was in the director’s seat for this one. Fu Li would stick mainly to writing and composing for the rest of his career, only stepping into the directors chair a handful more times, none of which resemble anything like Pink Force Commando. Yen-Ping on the other hand would continue his own inimitable style the following year by working with Brigitte Lin on the likes of The Four Sheepish Dummies, Big Surprise of 1938, and what some may consider his crowning achievement – Fantasy Mission Force. Striking just the right balance between zany antics, action, and dismemberment, Pink Force Commando is a heap of fun that restrains itself from descending into an abyss of grating juvenile humour that so much of Yen-Ping’s work suffers from (just ignore the mercifully short prison cell musical number). I guess if the detox is done and dusted, it may be time to give Golden Queen’s Commandos a shot.

Paul Bramhall’s Rating: 7/10