Too Many Ways to Be Number One (1997) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Too Many Ways To Be Number One" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Too Many Ways To Be Number One” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Wai Ka-Fai
Producer: Johnnie To
Cast: Lau Ching-Wan, Francis Ng, Carman Lee, Ruby Wong, Cheung Tat-Ming, Tsui Kam-Kong, Joe Cheng, Matthew Chow, Sung Boon-Chung
Running Time: 90 min.

By Joe909

This was the first Milkyway Image movie I saw, and it’s still one of their very best. Hong Kong movies are known for being fast-paced, but Too Many Ways is faster-paced than most. The ideas, plots, and crazed situations that are stuffed into its compact, 90-minute frame are each interesting enough to fill up their own movie.

To give a better review of the film, I need to enter spoiler territory. So here we go: Lau Ching-Wan is Kau, a 32 year old, small-time rascal who’s hounded by fellow rascal Bo to go along on a crime-trip to Central China with a gang Bo has recently put together (incidentally, one of the gang members is identical to Sean Lennon, even wearing the same, geeky glasses). However, Kau (as we see in the very end of the movie) has recently had his fortune told, and the prediction was that he would soon be asked to go to either Taiwan or Central China. Depending upon his choice, Kau’s life could take either of two turns: good or bad.

Too Many Ways shows us what would happen with each choice. In the first, Kau goes to Central China. It’s a botchery from the beginning: the gang robs a massage parlor, Bo gets run over by a car in their escape, the guys later bury Bo behind a wall (with his pager), and, once they get to China, not only do they lose another member, but they find that the people they were to meet are owed money by Bo. The guys later hook up with Bo’s ex-wife, who tells them about a new job coming up. This job is just as botched as the last. By the end of this 30-minute segment, everyone is dead, including Kau.

The next section shows us what happens if Kau refuses Bo’s offer. It picks up with the massage parlor scene from earlier, however this time Kau offers all the money he has to pay for the exorbitant bill. Kau doesn’t go to China with the rest of the gang, but Matt (Francis Ng), another member who did not go with the others, pleads with Kau to come with him to Taiwan, where Matt has been offered the job of killing a triad leader. This job has a better ending for Kau than the previous one, but that’s not to say that he doesn’t get messed up pretty badly, or doesn’t eat any dog sh*t (!).

Probably the only problem with Too Many Ways To Be No. 1 is that the second half pales in comparison to the first. The opening 30 minutes of this movie contains some of the most energetic, hilarious scenes ever written. Guys jabbering in pidgin English as they die. A woman dying of an orgasm. Crooks stopping by the local convenience store to casually pick up pantyhose, to wear as masks in their robbery. Blood actually getting on the camera in the ensuing fight. So much stuff happens in this opening half that it seems impossible for the movie to keep up the breakneck pace, and it doesn’t: the second half is much slower, and longer as well. But that isn’t to say that it’s no less original; it’s just not as crazed.

Wai Kai-Fai wrote and directed the movie, and he’s a genius. His directing style isn’t the assured smoothness of Johnnie To; instead, it’s just as chaotic and novel as the script. The camera goes everywhere, hanging off the ceiling, going upside-down, swinging back and forth. The colors in the movie are also strange: they’re so harsh that sometimes you can barely see what’s going on. I doubt this is from a poor dvd/vcd transfer, as even the film print I saw had a crazy color scheme. The music too is great: it sounds like a cross between bachelor-pad muzak and trip-hop. This side of a Raymond Wong score, it’s the best music I’ve heard in an HK movie.

This is the kind of movie that demands many viewings. Each time you’ll notice or figure out something new: like, why Kau looks at his hands in each story, or how some characters have the same fate, regardless of Kau’s decision, or who that car almost hits in the second story, the one that ran over Bo in the first.

Too Many Ways To Be No. 1 is a great introduction to Milkway: it has Lau Ching-Wan, the rest of the cast is great, and its like nothing you’ve seen before. Milkyway is known for deconstructing crime movies, but they’ve never done anything as close to deconstruction as Too Many Ways. Most of the movie is in Mandarin, too, which is unusual for an HK production. But regardless, this film comes highly recommended. It’s so cool, it not only refers to Bruce Lee (“32 is an important age for a man. I’m 32. You’re 32. Bruce Lee was 32 when he died.”), but there are also posters of Bruce Lee hanging from the walls in the massage parlor.

Joe909’s Review: 9.5/10

By Numskull

Wow. I can’t remember the last time so much stuff took place in a mere 91 minutes. Maybe it’s never happened before. That would be right in character for this movie, because it’s fresh and original in the best senses of those much-abused terms.

Lau Ching-Wan heads a fine cast in what is, essentially, a gangster story (not “another” gangster story, mind you). The focus isn’t on gunplay or revenge, though. The focus is on knocking the viewer on his or her duff with some truly awesome camera work. The camera…they eye through which we observe this rogue’s gallery of buffoons and badasses in their doomed endeavors to rake in the bucks any way they can, so long as it’s not legal…is almost like a character in and of itself; it sways from side to side on a dance floor, stoops down low when a guy scampers down a hallway on all fours, and whips back and forth between Point A and Point B during tense moments, like a person standing there, looking around, trying to figure out what to do. Cinematography like this emphasizes artistry and dramatic impact over technical know-how but manages to avoid the look and feel of a poorly shot family reunion (or a Blair Witch Project).

The viewer manipulation really is uncanny. A shootout in the dark, lit up only sporadically by random gunfire, creates a dizzying, strobe light-like effect. A robbery in the early going is filmed upside-down, thus emphasizing the chaos and confusion of the moment. And one scene that makes you want to shout “WHAT’S GOING ON, DAMMIT?!?” depicts a bunch of people with horrified expressions running out of frame to the site of…ah, that’s the beauty of it: the viewer is the last one to find out exactly what happens, because the camera refuses to move until everybody else is aware of the situation.

A comparison to Reservoir Dogs and/or Pulp Fiction could easily be made for two reasons. One is because this film disregards proper chronological order in favor of dynamic storytelling. The other is because, although plenty of violence is implied and there are many potentially explosive situations, the amount of carnage that actually gets shown really isn’t that high. The category III rating is probably more due to the “death by excessive fornication” scene.

But you know what? F*ck that sh*t. Too Many Ways To Be Number One is far superior to anything with Tarantino at the helm, if not in polish then certainly in artistic merit and overall entertainment value. I’m more reminded of the work of Danny Boyle (director of the under-rated Shallow Grave and the over-rated Trainspotting).

Like I said before, a whole lot of sh*t transpires in this movie, given its short length. When all is said and done, you feel like much more time than an hour and a half has elapsed due to all of the different directions in which the plot/plots goes/go. If the same story had been shot in Hollywood, the film would have turned out 20 or 25 minutes longer…maybe even more. As is, though, Too Many Ways To Be Number One doesn’t bottle-feed the viewer. The film makers apparently thought highly enough of the audience to trust them not to get lost. This may actually be the movie’s biggest downfall; it tries to accomplish too much, tries to tell too big a tale, for its limited duration. The subtitles compound this problem; the DVD from City Laser has blurry, white, VHS-style text instead of the remastered greatness to be expected from some of the other labels, and as usual, you just know that some of the intricacies of the script get lost in translation. This isn’t a catastrophic flaw; just a warning that you’ll most likely have to hit the pause button a few times to keep up. And, at the very least, the subtitles don’t get chopped off at the bottom of the screen like they do on so many poorly-produced video tapes.

One last thing…the music. Holy sh*t. This may be the catchiest music I’ve ever heard in a movie. Quirky and in-your-face (well, ears actually) but not abrasive. My foot took on a life of its own, it did.

All in all, a bold and thoroughly amusing movie worth seeing more than once. Don’t watch it while you’re tripping, though. No telling what sort of sh*t might go through that cavernous head of yours.

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10

By Vic Nguyen

Milky Way Image partner Wai Ka-fai embarks on his next directorial product with this superbly written, brilliantly filmed black comedy that is unquestionably another in a long line of masterpieces from the Milky Way Film Group. Here, Lau Ching-wan and Francis Ng Chun-yu lead a cast of characters that can’t seem to avoid unfortunate obstacles and mindnumbing situations in their quest for success among the triad ranks.

Despite the exemplary performances from a diverse cast (including underrated performer Tsui Kam-kong), the real star of this film is the camera, which is experiment personified. From filming an action sequence completely upside down to shooting a gunfight in complete darkness (with the gunfire providing the only illumination), there are no boundaries set to where the camera can go. It’s dizzying in a way, but in the end, the film ultimately benefits from this display of rich, exciting, avant garde-ish brand of movie-making, a trend which has become increasingly rare in today’s age of filmmaking.

The bottom line, a must see masterpiece that becomes increasingly entertaining upon multiple viewings.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Good, The Bad, The Weird, The (2008) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Jeff Bona
"The Good, The Bad, The Weird" US Theatrical Poster

“The Good, The Bad, The Weird” US Theatrical Poster

Director: Kim Ji-woon
Cast: Song Kang-ho, Lee Byung-hun, Jung Woo-sung, Yoon Je-moon as Byeong-choon, Ryoo Seung-soo as Man-gil, Song Yeong-chang, Son Byeong-ho
Running Time: 120 min.

By Jeff Bona

A psychotic hitman, Park Chang-i, aka The Bad (Lee Byung-hun), is hired to steal a treasure map from Kanemaru, a Japanese official traveling by train. However, Yoon Tae-goo, aka The Weird (Song Kang-ho), a thief, gets to Kanemaru first, with the intention of robbing him for his money, but he ultimately ends up with the map – unaware of its value. Meanwhile, a bounty, Park Do-won, aka The Good (Jung Woo-sung), plots to hit two birds with one stone by intercepting Park Chang-i’s plans, thus collecting money for his capture and retrieving the map for the Korean Independence Army.

Three men. One map. One treasure. The last man standing wins.

Though not as experimental as Wisit Sasanatieng’s Tears of the Black Tiger, and not as surreal as Takashi Miike’s Sukiyaki Western Django – Kim Ji Woon’s The Good, The bad, The Weird (note: there is no “and” in the title) is another creative entry in this on-going trend of Western Genre films by Asian filmmakers.

Although Kim Jee-Woon made a name for himself with The Foul King and A Tale of Two Sisters, he’s mostly known for his mobster film, A Bittersweet Life. Those familiar with A Bittersweet Life, who are expecting the same kind of visionary violence, will be pleased.

Above anything this film is trying to showcase – and believe me, the whole movie is top quality – the action is what shines the most; it’s crisp, fast, inventive and brutal. A lot of it filmed with beautiful scope in mind, such as the horses running through gritty explosions; and even Road Warrior-style vehicle chases, which would make George Miller proud.

Jung Woo-sung (Musa) has a tame role as The Good, so he doesn’t really get a chance to show off an off-the-wall performance. Lee Byung-hun (A Bittersweet Life), who plays The Bad, gets to have a lot more fun as a scarfaced killer. But it’s Song Kang-ho (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance), The Weird, who steals the show as the goofy, but very skilled gunslinger/thief, who has no idea what he’s gotten himself into when he put his hands on that map. Obviously, much of the film’s comedy revolves around his role as well.

Overall, The Good, The Bad, The Weird isn’t Kim Jee-Woon’s best film. It’s his best looking, no doubt. It’s definitely entertaining, amusing as hell, and the pacing is excellent. But it’s not the step-above A Bittersweet Life that I was hoping it would be, but then again, that’s one flick that’s hard to beat.

Jeff Bona‘s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Bittersweet Life, A (2005) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
"A Bittersweet Life" Korean Theatrical Poster

"A Bittersweet Life" Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Kim Ji-woon
Producer: Lee Yu-Jin
Cast: Lee Byung-Hun, Kim Young-Cheol, Shin Mina, Hwang Jeong-Min, Kim Roi-Ha, Oh Dal-Su, Vadim, Eric, Kim Hae-Gon, Lee Mu-Young, Jin Gu
Running Time: 120 min.

By Iuxion

A Bittersweet Life is pretty much a cardboard cutout example of how to make an entertaining gangster film, Korean or not. Lee Byung Hun shines in the lead as a hitman who is betrayed by his boss after making a seemingly inconsequential ‘mistake’ and faces an uphill battle as he seeks bloody vengeance. It may not be the most original plot in the world, but it certainly works. Nice touches, like a quiet moment in which Sun Woo (Lee Byung Hun) placidly savors a final taste of chocolate cake before ‘going to work’, add loads to the style and atmosphere.

There’s this one scene about midday through in which these two dorks, full of themselves and not too pleased with driving of our protagonist, ungraciously spit on his shiny black car and throw a cigarette butt at his window. Sun Woo, being the badass that he is (and considering his current mood), abruptly stops his car in front of theirs, gets out, and proceeds to beat the two punks to a pulp. In the coupe de grace, he grabs their keys and tosses them off the bridge. For a moment there I forgot I was watching a movie and simply empathized with the character, his anger just about palpable and real.

If only the rest of the movie kept pumping the adrenaline to the same level, this might have been a classic. As it stands, it’s pretty good, but on the whole, doesn’t really add much of anything new to the genre. The supporting cast, including Kim Young Cheol and Shin Mina (who slightly resembles Jeon Ji Hyun) turn in fine performances, and the direction by Kim Jee Woon is super slick, if by the book. The set design was supposedly done by the same guy(s) as Oldboy, and it definitely shows. Likewise, the music work is commendable.

I’ve heard a rumor that another [longer] cut of the movie exists, and that’s something I’d be genuinely interested in. Some subplots in this version are a little rushed, and the movie could use a bit more characterization and dialogue to help set it apart. As much as I love gun battles, we’ve pretty much seen it all done before, and arguably done better (although the one here is certainly decent). Ditto with some of the torture scenes and the hand to hand combat of the one versus twenty variety, a lot of which I felt could’ve been shortened or removed altogether without much of a loss (besides a nagging sense of déjà vu). That’s not to say none of the violence is striking, some of it is, but next to the innovative sequences showcased in Park Chan Wook’s films of late, I couldn’t help but want for more.

Nevertheless, this is a solid film. If you are at all into this type of thing, then by all means.

Iuxion’s Rating: 8/10

By Owlman

All you need to know about A Bittersweet Life is that it is, in my humble opinion, one of the best gangster movies from recent times that I’ve ever seen. Seriously – a great mix of cool characters, action, dialogue, and humour.

Actually, on a technical note, another thing that you need to know about A Bittersweet Life is that the DTS soundtrack on the DVD is excellent. I can’t recall any other movie that I’ve recently seen on my home system sound so clear – footsteps from afar coming closer, branches blowing in the wind, gunshots rattling your ears (right up to the post-credits gunfire), and more.

Owlman’s Rating: 10/10 (And that concludes my half-assed review of this movie. Buy this movie, man – you can’t go wrong.)

By Equinox21

***SPOILERS***

This is one of those movies that might be talked about for some time. At least I hope it is. The film is called A Bittersweet Life because the main character, Sun-woo (Lee Byung-hun), is the manager of a bar called La Dolce Vita (Italian for A Bittersweet Life). In addition to being the manager, he’s also the right hand man to a local mob boss.

When Sun-woo fails to carry out a specific order, because his conscience gets the best of him, he’s put on the boss’ hit list. From then on it’s a struggle to survive, and get answers. This bloody, violent and noir movie ends up with an ultimately ambiguous ending. Did everything really just happen or was it a fantasy concocted by Sun-woo because he’s bored with his life?

A Bittersweet Life was a very interesting movie to watch, and painful to look at in certain parts. Not as graphic as a film like Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance or Save the Green Planet, but just as striking. What I really liked was Sun-woo’s journey to obtain a gun. It wasn’t like America, where you can just walk into a store and walk out armed like The Terminator. Sun-woo had to go through a rigorous process in the underworld to get a gun. Of course, this added to his ultimate downfall. Plus, having never fired a gun before, his aim is not as perfect as “in the movies”, this adds to the realism and, to be quite honest, the enjoyability of the film (which also adds to the ambiguousness of the ending).

I would have to say that my thoughts on the film are that it was all a fantasy. Not just because of what is said at the end, but also because of how much punishment Sun-woo takes and stays on his feet (after dozens fall before him, after taking much less in the way of physical bodily damage). This doesn’t make it any less enjoyable, it just makes it more fantasy than an attempt at realistic gunplay action. A Bittersweet Life is highly recommended.

Equinox21’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , |

Storm Warriors DVD (Lions Gate)

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona

RELEASE DATE: February 15, 2011

Based on the comic book series “Fung Wan” and directed by the Pang Brothers comes the incredible story of two friends, Wind and Cloud, who find themselves up against a very powerful warlord intending to invade their country. In order to protect their land, these two friends seek the help of the all-powerful master. Through extensive training, Wind and Cloud expose themselves to the “evil” ways to increase their powers of element. When the intensive battle begins, their friendship will be tested when one finds it hard to be righteous and easy to be evil.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Handcuff, The (1979) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by Jeff Bona
"The Handcuff" Chinese VHS Cover

"The Handcuff" Chinese VHS Cover

AKA: Hand Cuffs
Director: Wu Ma
Writer: Michael Chan Wai Man, Wu Ma
Cast: Michael Chan Wai Man, Nora Miao, Lo Lieh, Bill Lake
Running Time: 95 min.

By Jeff Bona

Ah Chang (Chan Wai Man), also known as “The Green Dragon,” is an expert at kung fu, a master of weaponry (put a slingshot in his hands and it’s as good as a sniper rifle) and one hell of a killing machine. He’s the best at what he does, which is why he works for Boss Chow Kwan, a ruthless Triad godfather.

Today, Ah Chang’s life is about to change…

When a woman named Mung (Nora Miao) witnesses him murdering his target, he attacks her and assumes she’s dead. The next day, he learns she is still alive, so he finds the hospital she’s recovering at, and sets out to shut her up for good; but upon his arrival, police catch him in-the-act and he is arrested.

Luckily for Ah Chang, a police inspector named Chan is assigned to his case. Not only is Chan an old friend his, but years ago — way before they were on opposite sides of the law — he had saved Chan’s life. Because of their relationship, Chan goes easy on him and assures that he has nothing to worry about, as long as no evidence is found.

However, things heat up for Ah Chang when Mung is finally brought in to identify him as the killer. Surprisingly, she recognizes his face – but keeps her silence – and he is set free.

Ah Chang embraces this second chance and decides that he wants to retire his life of crime and marry Mabel, his girlfriend. Boss Chow Kwan gives him his blessings, but warns him that Mabel is not the marrying type.

After a series of unfortunate events, Ah Chang realizes that he can’t escape his violent lifestyle – just when he thought he was out, they pull him back in!

I’ve never been the biggest Chan Wai Man fan. I always thought he carried himself too much like a prick. He sort of has this asshole look on his face that I can’t fully explain. Mind you, every movie I’ve see him in, he plays roles that perfectly fit what I’m talking about. After doing research, I actually found out that he’s a real-life triad member, which probably explains his full, upper-body tattoos. In addition to being a gangster, the guy is also an established kickboxing (and boxing) champion; not to mention, an avid practitioner of Taekwondo, and northern and southern Kung fu.

With that said, I enjoyed The Handcuff (either that, or I’m secretly afraid this guy might read this review and beat me up). Once I got through the opening credits, and got a feel for the story, I didn’t mind Chan Wai Man. I’m sure it has something to do with the quality of the movie: it has a sense of style and doesn’t seem rushed. The plot is well-contructed and the action scenes are tight. There are a few comedy gags that seem misplaced, but nonetheless, they were funny.

Director Wu Man (veteran Shaw Brothers and Golden Harvest actor) and Chan Wai Man (who also wrote the film) took key elements from Francis Ford Copolla’s The Godfather (1972) – such as the opening montage of assassinations and Boss Chow Kwan’s “I don’t deal in drugs.” But then again, what gangster movie isn’t inspired by The Godfather?

I like how Ah Chang was portrayed as a good guy, even though he’s practically a cold-hearted murder. I mean, he would have strangled Nora Miao’s character if he didn’t get caught by the cops! That’s messed up.

Speaking of Nora Miao, I get the impression that she was just thrown in because of her status and good looks. Even though her character is crucial to the plot, her addition seems forced. Keep in mind, if you added up all her scenes, they probably equal about 5 minutes. As far as her dialogue? This paragraph alone has more words than her entire scripted part.

Lo Lieh is in this movie, too. He doesn’t show up until the end, but he’s one of the main baddies. Again, probably thrown in to spice up the third act.

For those of you who like to get squeamish, expect explicit scenes of gore: one involving a gunshot wound to the leg; I swear, if it’s not real human flesh they’re using, it has to be some sort of half-cooked, bloody pork.

Recommended.

Jeff Bona‘s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Island on Fire | aka The Prisoner (1990) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
Island of Fire (1990) Review aka The Prisoner

Island of Fire (1990) Review aka The Prisoner

AKA: Island of Fire
Director: Chu Yen Ping
Cast: Jackie Chan, Andy Lau Tak-Wah, Samo Hung Kam-Bo, Tony Leung Ka-Fai, Jimmy Wang Yu, Tao Chung Hwa, Ko Chun Hsiung, Rachel Cheung Shui-Chuk
Running Time: 92/100 min.

By Alvin George

“The Prisoner” (aka “Island of Fire”) is a considerably better movie than its reputation might suggest. Jackie Chan did this movie in the early ’90s as a favor to Jimmy Wang Yu, who saved his ass from the Triads in 1980. It is true that Jackie has a relatively minor role in the film (in fact, Samo Hung has more screen time), but that doesn’t make it a bear to watch. There are some human touches to the story, as when Samo escapes from the brutal prison simply to be with his son, or when we find out how Jackie got into the prison (he needed to get a liver transplant on the black market for his dying girlfriend). I must admit, however, that the movie seems pretty unfocused.

It starts out with a cop’s father-in-law getting assassinated. Since the killer was a supposedly executed inmate, the cop (played by Tong Leung) gets himself arrested so he can investigate. But then the focus shifts abruptly to Samo’s dilemma and then to Jackie’s situation. There are scenes that borrow from “Cool Hand Luke,” as the various chain gang scenes and the part where a pretty girl unintentionally wipes a car window with her breast. Then there’s a big action finale in the Phillipines (my mom’s native country) that’s based on a plot development akin to the Bridget Fonda film “Point of No Return.” g (Hint: Why did the death-row inmate who killed Leung’s father-in-law have his life spared?) Jackie does have some cool fight scenes with what little screen time he has, and there are even outtakes at the end, surprising in a movie so serious.

I rented the DVD from Blockbuster, which includes commentar by Philip Rhee. However, a little of Rhee’s commentary goes a long way. I wouldn’t have the Rhee audio track turned on the whole time. I’d only turn it on during Jackie’s fight scenes and (perhaps) that big action finale. In all, “The Prisoner” is not a bad movie to sit through. It works on the level of a good direct-to-video movie (which this film is to some extent, since it never widely released to American theaters), if not as a Jackie Chan film.

Alvin George’s Rating: 6.5/10

By Numskull

At the risk of disappointing messires Bona and Carrey, I’m going to make this mostly serious. This movie has joined the likes of DEVIL’S ADVOCATE and THE TRIGGER EFFECT as Good Ideas That Could Have Been So Much More. I really liked the bare-bones stories, but the approach taken to making it all work was ghastly. I don’t know how much the screenwriters are to blame for this, but I’m sure that the bufoonery of Chu Yin-ping and Jimmy Wang Fuck Yu is at least partially responsible. The background plots for Tony Leung, Samo and Jackie are laid out almost in their entirety one at a time instead of going back and forth. Even worse, the basis for the final action scene doesn’t even begin to develop until the last 10 minutes of the movie, whereupon it is all sprung on the audience at once. Also, the security guards in this movie are inept beyond belief. They all turn their backs on an unlocked police car with the key in the ignition, allowing Samo’s character to make off with it…not once but twice. Furthermore, they allow him to run off into a field of tall grass, unsupervised, under the pretense of taking a shit knowing full well that he is a chronic escapee.

There were some other too-contrived-to-be-taken-seriously parts that detract from enjoyment of the movie. In two scenes (Wang Yu eating from the rice bowl and the inmates doing road work), the prisoners act with ridiculous cooperation. Unless every other reference to prison in the history of entertainment is a flat-out lie, the only respect these guys grant each other is reflective of how accomodating their assholes are. And how about the buxom lass with the flat tire? A bunch of hardened criminals (oh, man…bad choice of words…) see a woman for the first time in years, wearing a wet blouse, and instead of gang-banging her they elect Samo to change her tire while she seeks shelter from the rain. What the fuck!!! Plus, the damn music sucks. Hey Jeff, do you know what movie they ripped it off from? More importantly, do you know WHY the fuck anyone would want to use vacuum cleaner noise like this a SECOND time??? How about some simple harmonica tunes? Economical AND realistic. Besides those factors, there was another that made it impossible to just relax and enjoy the movie: the conditions under which it was made. Those of you who have read the JC Quiz (or the rest of this review, for that matter) have probably noticed my sneering contempt for Jimmy Wang Yu (a.k.a. The Anti-Christ), or at least his style of “business”. For those who don’t know, Jimmy Wang Yu is an actor and producer who has strong ties with the Triads (Chinese Mafia). After Lo Wei made Jackie a marked man, Wang Yu stepped in on Jackie’s behalf and made it safe for him to return to Hong Kong (after starring in the suicide-inducing Robert Clouse film THE BIG BRAWL). To pay off the debt he owed Wang Yu, Jackie appeared in a film he produced and hired Chu Yin-ping to direct: the abysmal FANTASY MISSION FARCE. Now, my own opinion is that Wang Yu should have been made an indentured servant to Chan for the rest of his worthless life after coercing him to participate in such a colossal waste of time, but that’s beside the point.

After FANTASY MISSION FARCE, Wang Yu got into the practice of getting major Hong Kong actors to appear in his films by informing them that if they did, he would see to it that certain other members of the Hong Kong Triads would NOT break every bone in their bodies. I’m paraphrasing, of course, but you get the idea…”You think it’s a silly film? Well, you’re entitled to your opinion, but you’re also entitled to your health, and the Triads over at Happyfuck Films might not see it that way.” Fuck you, asshole! Even if Wang Yu’s intentions are good and even though this sort of thing happens frequently in Hong Kong, who in the name of hell-bent fuck appointed this cocksucker Guardian Angel of the Hong Kong Superstars? For those of you who still aren’t getting the point, I HATE JIMMY WANG YU! JIMMY WANG YU MUST DIE!! DAMN JIMMY WANG YU!!! FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM!!!! Well, anyway, the plot of this movie appealed to me enough so that I would love to see a remake of it…hell, as a future screenwriter and (hopefully) director, maybe I’ll do it myself. And, since I’ve already got my version all figured out from the rest of this review, all I need now is $30 million or so to make it with! Unfortunately, the only probable way to get that kind of money quickly is to give James Cameron a blow job, and unlike every producer in Hollywood right now, I’m not willing to do that.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Jim Carrey

A horde of people knock this film, including Jackie himself. Remember though that Jackie is often the megalomaniac when it comes to favorite films he’s done, you notice his favorite films are “Police Story” & “Miracle”, funny that he starred and directed in both of them. When Wang Yu tried to help Jackie get away from Lo Wei, Jackie promised Wang Yu he’d do 2 films for him. First was the great, zany classic “Fantasy Mission Force”, second was this film, “Island of Fire”. Both of these films were produced by Wang Yu and Directed by great director Chu Yin-Ping, both films also had a cackle of stars in them.

This ones stars Jackie, Sammo, Andy Lau, Tony Leung Ka-Fei, Jimmy Wang Yu, and O Chung-Hung. The film is very underrated and is an extremely well made prison drama, with some good action scenes as well. The movie consists of 5 principle characters whose different lifestyles cross each other in this hell of a jail. Tony is the main character, he plays a cop who goes undercover to find out about the mysterdeath of an assasin who killed his menter. The strange part is that the man was supposedly excuted in this jail 3 months ago. Sammo plays an inmate in the prison who escapes all the time so he can see his son, he is the character you really feel for. Jackie plays a pool shark who is supposed to fix an important pool game for the Triads, he doesn’t so they injure his girlfriend. He must earn money to pay for his girlfriend’s operation or she will die. He then goes to win money by gambling, but the men think he cheated so he gets in a great fight with this small time hoods, he kills the leader so and he is sent to prison.

Andy Lau plays the brother of the leader who sets himself up to prison so he can get revenge on Jackie. Wang Yu plays the leader of the inmates in the prison, like the speaker of the law in the “Island of Dr. Moreau”, who the warden wants to kill off due to the fact that he has more influence on the other inmates than the warden does. The films is loaded with some great emotional scenes, that is the heart of the film. It also has 3 really good Jackie fights to keep the Chan fan happy, as well as an explosive end. The sequel to this film, “Jail in Burning Island” with the same 5 character format as “IOF”, is even better than this one. I thought it was the second best film last year, no Jackie though it starsTakeshi Kaneshiro, Nicky, Jackson Lau (from First Strike), Ng Man-Tat, Anthony Wong, Kok Siu-Man, & Chan Chung-Yung. The big secret of this film is that many people don’t even realize that the action director for this film is Sammo himself. Watch and enjoy, but try to find “Jail In Burning Island at all cost”, that film is 10/10.

Jim Carry’s Rating: 8/10

By Vic Nguen

Everybody has been bashing this movie, including Jackie himself, but personally, I liked it. Even though Jackie was in it for about 20 minutes, the supporting cast made the film more enjoyable in his absence. The plot is somewhat confusing, with everybody in the cast getting their own plotline, all based in the prison. Then comes the finale, where the 4 main stars are pulled together into a final assassination/gunfight against a whole army. Jackie’s appearence in the film was very enjoyable, especially the scenes where he is shooting pool. The 2 fights, including one with Andy Lau, aren’t bad, but could’ve been better, and the finale had it’s moments. This was another of the Jimmy Wang Yu debt films, it was not as enjoyable as a normal Jackie Chan film, but this film is MUCH better than the horrid piece of crap Fantasy Mission Force. I may like it, but you may hate it.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10

By Clint

To quote JC from “Operation Condor”…. “Expect the worst and hope for the best.” That is exactly what I did with “Island of Fire”. So instead of being disappointed at how bad it was, I was actually happy because it was better than I imagined. The story stole more from more movies than you could ever imagine. But who cares, it’s got JC, Samo, Andy Lau, Tony Leung Ka Fai, Jimmy Wang Yu. Although the fighting seemed pretty unprofessional, it was ok, because I expected the worst. The shootout at the end was great. It almost felt like a John Woo shootout. I have no idea what Tony Leung said to the guy in the last scene of the film. The people who made the laserdisc forget to slap some subs for that scene. This movie can be enjoyed as long as you don’t expect greatness from it.

Clint’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

To Kill A Jaguar (1977) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
"To Kill A Jaguar" Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

“To Kill A Jaguar” Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

Director: Wa Saan
Producer: Sir Run Run Shaw
Cast: Chung Wa (Tsung Hua), Lau Wing (Liu Yung), Nora Miao, Siu Yam Yam (Shaw Yin-Yin), Ling Yun, Johnny Wang (Lung Wei), Fan Mei Sheng, Chan Shen, Gam Lau
Running Time: 90 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

To Kill A Jaguar is, first and foremost, a drama-love-story-gangster tale. Even though there’s enough action for it to qualify as a straight up kung fu flick, the dreary feeling I get from watching it stops the movie from having almost no strong points at all.

First of all, the plot sucks. Basically, a village chick named Bobo (Nora Miao) has just arrived in Shanghai. She comes across a gang fight and notices that one of the dudes involved is an old childhood friend of hers. She remembers him as Silly Boy, but he now has a new name: Jaguar.

Warning: Possible spoilers in the next paragraph.

Jaguar explains to her that he is now the right-hand man for some big wig gangster dude. Anyways, they do a little catching up together, fuck and fall in love. The rest of the movie… well… to make a long story short: Jaguar ends up getting set up by his own boss. Eventually, Jaguar ends up partnering up with his jumbo-bow-tied sharp shooter buddy; Jaguar punks him; then we find out the Bobo is actually the daughter of Jaguar’s old boss. Along the way, Jaguar turns into an asshole and then Bruce Lee’s co-star from The Big Boss (Liu Yung) shows up and screws things up for Jaguar even more.

I’m sure the above plot doesn’t sound so bad, but trust me, there are so many twists and turns, that, by the time you’re half way through, you start to not care about the characters, the plot, or the movie.

Even if you’re in it just for the action, there’s not much here to get a kick out of. The choreography is pretty tight for the most part, but nothing really stands out. If you want see some guys beat each other up, I can think of 50 other movies you could watch for that reason alone.

Personally, what attracted me to this movie was the presence of Nora Miao. She’s that Asian chick with white features who co-starred in most of Bruce Lee films. Not only does she get super-fiesty in this flick, but she also gets naked…A LOT! (okay, obviously it’s a body double, but who cares. It’s still a nude female.)

Also in the mix is Liu Yung (aka Tony “Now You Know. So What? You’re headed for the freezer!” Liu), another person who was pretty much in every Bruce Lee flick. So, in a way, To Kill A Jaguar is almost a Bruce Lee movie. The only difference is, there’s no Bruce Lee, the movie sucks, and you’re stuck with a guy who has big ass sideburns and a mustache instead.

To Kill A Jaguar is a dull feature folks. Even Wang Lung-Wei looks bored in this one.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 4/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , |

Taxi Driver, The (1975) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Taxi Driver" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Taxi Driver” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Pao Hsueh Lieh
Cast: David Chiang, Wang Chung, Lam Jan Kei (Lin Chen-Chi), Danna, Yen Shi Kwan
Running Time: 94 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

In Taxi Driver, David Chiang plays a mentally unstable Vietnam war veteran who works as nighttime taxi driver in a city whose perceived decadence and sleaze feeds his urge to violently lash out, attempting to save a teenage prostitute in the process…

Just kidding.

This David Chiang flick (which was made a year before the De Niro movie) has nothing to do with Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver, other than the two sharing the same title.

This taxi driver tale is, for the most part, light-hearted in comparison. Part drama, a little bit of comedy, some cornball, and a tad of action – it’s pretty much all over the place. Even for a 1975 Hong Kong flick, it’s uneven, choppy, and doesn’t really belong to any particular genre.

A good portion of the movie is dedicated to a bank heist, in which a group of thugs force David Chiang’s character to be their getaway driver… (but let’s not get into that.)

If you’re expecting lots of solid kung fu action, gore, or some other kind of Rated-R activity, you’ll be disappointed. Sure, it does have some violence, a tame sex scene (is that Betty Ting Pei?) and a nipple shot or two; but mark my word, it’s pretty tame.

Hopefully, I’m not making it sound like it’s an awful movie. It’s not. If anything, it’s interesting. I mean, where else are you going to see David Chiang and Wang Chung play adventurous taxi drivers? Besides, David Chiang’s girlfriend (Lam Jan Kei) is cute as hell.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , |

Snake of June, A (2002) Review

Posted on February 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
"A Snake of June" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“A Snake of June” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Shinya Tsukamoto
Cast: Asuka Kurosawa, Yuji Kohtari, Shinya Tsukamoto, Masato Tsujioka, Susumu Terajima
Running Time: 77 min.

By Raging Gaijin

It’s no secret that the Japanese people are repressed. And we all know that when a society represses its deepest, darkest urges, they don’t actually go away. No, they remain just below the surface and ready to break through at any moment. Or at the very least they’re filtered through popular culture; just look at all that tentacle anime the kiddies seem to love. Shinya Tsukamoto, never one afraid to tackle taboos or stir controversy, explores the repressed desires at the heart of modern day Japan with his 2002 film “A Snake of June”.

The plot concerns a young housewife played by Asuka Kurosawa. She’s slightly bored with her middle class life and her neat-freak husband doesn’t pay much attention to her, in or out of the bedroom. Everything changes when Asuka receives a mysterious package in the mail, which contains candid photos of her pleasuring herself, photographed by some unknown voyeur. Soon after she receives a telephone call from this stalker and he blackmails her into doing increasingly risqué things in order to get the negatives back. Although his methods are often mean-spirited and degrading, slowly but surely the stalker’s demands reveal a positive change in Asuka. Oh, yeah, and in the meantime her husband is unwittingly drawn into a secret underworld of sexual deviancy and murder. Strange? Yes, but this is Shinya Tsukamoto, the man who unleashed “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” onto the world. We wouldn’t expect anything less.

Perhaps even more striking than Asuka’s gradual change from frumpy housewife to kink queen is the film’s cinematography. “A Snake of June” was shot in black and white but later altered to a blue-tinted monochromatic color scheme. The result is a melancholy and haunting hue that fits the rainy June reason depicted in the film. On a visual level, the film does not disappoint. From the camera angles to the production design, it is obvious that Tsukamoto carefully set up each and every shot with a clear purpose in mind. “A Snake of June” is undoubtedly the work of a true artist.

Beyond the visuals, Asuka Kurosawa gives a remarkably brave and revealing performance. The story asks a lot of her but she pulls it off very well. I can’t imagine it’d be easy for an actress to play this role and I’m not just saying that because she has to take her clothes off; her character explores great emotional depths. It is to her credit that the viewer feels like she is gaining a sense of independence and freedom with each erotic endeavor, and not that just becoming a degenerate or nymphomaniac.

The problem with “A Snake of June” is this: the people who are going to enjoy it the most are those who are already fans of writer/director Shinya Tsukamoto. Anyone simply anticipating an erotic thriller is going to be disappointed and bemused when the film takes a turn at its midpoint into David Lynch-like realms of weirdness. There are some truly bizarre scenes that even Tsukamoto himself has admitted to not knowing what they mean. The ending is also quite simple and disappointing given the shocks and twists that have come before. The implications of what happens to the characters *after* the events of the movie are certainly interesting, but the ending itself fails to really put closure to the story or engage the viewer.

If you watch this film with the right expectations, you’ll enjoy it more. It’s erotic, yes, but it’s not all about sex or nudity. It’s artistic, yes, but that doesn’t mean everything makes sense. There are no easy answers to what happens in “A Snake of June” but there really doesn’t have to be. The premise could have easily led to some sort of Cinemax late-night skin flick but in the hands of Shinya Tsukamoto it is something much more strange and beautiful. The film is not without its faults or slow parts but it’s still a worthy addition to Tsukamoto’s filmography and another stunning artistic endeavor from one of Japan’s most unique directors.

Raging Gaijin’s Review: 7.5/10

Posted in All, Japanese, News, Reviews | Tagged |

Blackjack (1998) Review

Posted on January 31, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Blackjack" American DVD Cover

“Blackjack” American DVD Cover

Director: John Woo
Producer: Terence Chang
Cast: Dolph Lundgren, Kate Vernon, Phillip MacKenzie, Kam Heskin, Fred Williamson, Padraigin Murphy, Tony De Santis, Saul Rubinek, Peter Keleghan
Running Time: 112 min.

By Mairosu

Dolph Lundgren is Jack Devlin, an ex-fed turned bodyguard for hire, who suffers a trauma during one shootout and as a result, develops a rabid fear of white colour (?!) . He decides to retire, but is lured back to work when his good friend gets injured, so he can finish his job off – protecting a supermodel from a psycho sniper.

So why am I reviewing this? Why, in the first place, have I rented this ?

Easy. This is one of the couple John Woo films I never saw…and if it only stayed that way. Blackjack, originally conceived as a pilot for (thankfully enough) never realised TV series, is a proper pile of junk. While Dolph ain’t totally horrible in his role as the white-o-phobic bodyguard/magician (yes, the man knows a couple of nifty card tricks) – everything else is. From the opening credits you have the feeling you’re watching one of those late night soft-core flicks on cable (the soundtrack full of trademark clichéd sax suites doesn’t help, either), chock-full of sets which look like they’ve been borrowed from Days of Our Lives and lacking in any sort of atmosphere. The plot has more holes than an execution victim of a particularly gruesome shooting squad, and the idea of having an action hero who fears a colour – white, no less, black would be somewhat tolerable – is downright outlandish. It doesn’t feel like that from the start, but wait ’till you see Dolph spinning around in agony after being showered to death with…milk.

Apart from Devlin, who, barring that phobia, is an OK persona, the rest of the characters suffer from the fact that this was a TV show in making – there’s an intriguing one-eyed sidekick (Saul Rubinek), a sexy psychiatrist (Kate Vernon), and a cute little girl who Jack adopts after her parents die in an accident (Padraigin Murphy, who surprisingly enough limited her film career to this turkey and a couple of appearances in shows such as Goosebumps), and they all seem like the people you learn to like over a span of 25 episodes – they just don’t fully grow on you during this film (save for maybe Murphy’s character). The villain, however, is surprisingly bland – Phillip MacKenzie does a routine act bringing your ordinary lovesick psycho to life.

And then the action scenes. Considering Mr.. Woo is signed as the director here, you would have expected something stylish, at very least. But that would be too much, wouldn’t it. Action set pieces defy any logic here (just observe Dolph bouncing on a trampoline and gunning down baddies in the first shootout), and for the first time, the celebrated slow-motion bullet ballet doesn’t work…if anything, it just prolongs the agony. Film only partially redeems itself midway through the film in a scene which involves some fine stunts on a dirt bike, but that’s about it. Action aside, the pacing of this film is drab and after 45 minutes you will feel you saw enough – but do challenge yourself and try to last the whole nine yards, or in this case, 108 minutes.

Bottom line, Dolph, a bloke with an IQ of 160, masters degree in chemical engineering and black belt in karate, and Woo, the undisputed master of action directing, both deserve better. How did Woo get entangled into this in the first place is beyond me as well : this is his first film after the smash success of Face/Off, and this is not a logical follow-up ; also, the fact that Woo himself was the executive producer makes me question his business (and common) sense. And give some love to Dolph for his, if not native, then at very least neutral accent – at least it’s not abrasively Germanic like with some.

Mairosu’s Rating: 1.5/10

By James H.

I rented this flick simply because I did a project on John Woo in high school. I needed, or wanted rather, to show a variety of clips, so I thought I’d check this out. It turns out that “Blackjack” is a piece of crap. I’m not even sure John Woo even directed this filth.

The plot concerns an ex-U.S. Marshal, now hired bodyguard Jack Devlin (Dolph Lundgren) who has to protect a supermodel. Devlin is practically a one man army. His only flaw, his Achilles heel if you will, is that he is afraid of the colour white. Yes, you heard me. Can you guess what happens when there is a shootout in a milk producing plant?

The story is hideously boring, uninteresting, cliched and trite. Characters are paper thin, and contrived. Not even John Woo can breathe life into this trash. Which reminds me, the film is made in such a way, I don’t think Woo had anything to do with the directing at all. The action scenes are false looking, not exciting and poorly edited (many a flaw can be found).

“Blackjack” is also a pilot for the very short-lived cable show. It is also a tie for the lowest point in John Woo’s career (the other is the TV pilot for “Once a Theif”). John Woo fans won’t find anything worth-while here. Ironically though, this is one of Lundgren’s better flicks.

James H’s Rating: 3/10

Posted in Asian Related, Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , |

Windtalkers (2002) Review

Posted on January 31, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Windtalkers" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Windtalkers” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: John Woo
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Adam Beach, Roger Willie, Peter Stormare, Noah Emmerich, Mark Ruffalo, Brian Van Holt, Martin Henderson, Christian Slater, Frances O’Connor, Jason Isaacs, Billy Morts, Cameron Thor
Running Time: 134/154 min.

By Numskull

World War II: Navajo code talkers are employed by the U.S. military to relay coordinates in their native language, which Japanese code breakers are unable to decipher. Their efforts are crucial to U.S. victories in the Pacific; ‘wonder what John “The Only Good In’jun Is A Dead In’jun” Wayne would say to that? It’s a promising premise, but the screenplay’s failure to make the most of it and the cheesy dramatic scenes result in little more than John Woo Does A War Movie. Granted, it COULD be worse…a LOT worse…but Windtalkers just doesn’t live up to its potential.

Nicolas Cage…not as good as he was in Face/Off (and Travolta was better in that one anyway)…stars as Joe Enders, the tormented, battle-scarred Marine assigned to protect baby-faced code talker Ben Yahzee (Adam Beach). Should Ben or any other code talker fall into enemy hands, Enders must kill him on the spot to prevent the Japanese from learning the code…the kind of moral dilemma that gives John Woo a creative hard-on. A portion of the spotlight falls on Peter “Ox” Anderson (Christian Slater, who probably had an easier time than most with boot camp training after being in prison so much) and “his” code talker, Charles Whitehorse (Roger Willie). They have a lame bit going where they both play wind instruments (a harmonica and some Native American wooden thing…not sure exactly what it’s called and don’t want to say anything as pedestrian as “flute”) and eventually try to combine skills to complement each other’s music.

Speaking of lame bits…hell, there’s tons of ’em. All of the war and war-based movies I’d seen prior to Windtalkers could be counted on one hand with the thumb missing, yet I was still able to pick out the film’s many cliches.

There’s the big dumb racist guy who picks on our Navajo friends (Enders is supposed to protect Yahzee’s code talking ass, yet he stands idly by while this asshole bludgeons him with his rifle and threatens to kill him).

There’s the hyperventilating Greek guy…the “special needs” character…who creates extra work for his fellow Marines (maybe I’m just an ignorant civilian who doesn’t know shit about shit where military matters are concerned, but it seems to me that someone who can’t breathe properly under intense stress really shouldn’t be placed in the front lines of combat).

There’s the obligatory chatting ’round the campfire scene (“If I don’t make it back, give this ring to my wife” and that sort of thing).

There’s the even MORE obligatory love interest for the main character (Frances O’Connor as a nurse at the naval base where he was sent to recuperate after a botched mission at the beginning of the film…thank God he doesn’t have misty-eyed daydreams about her while his comrades are gunning down enemy troops and blowing shit up).

There’s the emotional turmoil of seeing the impact of battle on the other side’s civilians (A little girl is crying because her daddy got killed? No problem…just feed her some chocolate).

There’s the Marines discussing their plans for the future once the war is over (Did you know that “Ox” Anderson discovered “a Swedish concoction called yogurt” before the rest of the American public?).

There’s the family man fondly describing his loved ones to his comrades (“He’s quite a character,” says Ben of his son George Washington Yahzee, with all the passion and enthusiasm of a 68-year old narcoleptic painting a fence).

There’s the bonding over booze scene where Enders cracks open a case of sake, not bothering to wonder if it may have been poisoned, and proceeds to get drunk off his ass (Cage’s acting here is less than stellar…a LOT less, in fact. How ironic that he won an Oscar for portraying an alcoholic in “Leaving Las Vegas”).

And, uh, so on.

Enders’s lapsed Catholicism is more of a John Wooism, and not the only one, but the director had sense enough to cut down on his crazed, gun-blazing heroics a bit (not entirely, mind you) in favor of more realistic combat. The shootouts in a movie like Hard Boiled convey a sense of organized chaos; here, it’s more like chaotic organization. Woo’s penchant for lengthy, elaborate action sequences generally lends itself well to the war genre, though there is still some groan-inducing implausibility here and there (Ben is able to easily cross over to the Japanese side of a heated battlefield with Joe posing as his prisoner, simply because he looks like “one of them.” Um…yeah). Despite the huge amount of violence here, Woo does show some restraint in that regard as well as others; Enders’s ear injury threatens to become an agonizingly convenient plot device that undermines his efforts, as if on cue, at the worst possible moment…but, it is thankfully kept in check for the most part and merely provides an additional touch to the character.

At the least, Windtalkers should establish John Woo as someone who can do more than just action movies (which he apparently doesn’t want to do anymore anyway). Don’t let my pissing and moaning sway you too much; it’s a decent flick. If you wanna see it, then by all means do so.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Asian Related, Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Matrix Revolutions, The (2003) Review

Posted on January 31, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Matrix Revolutions" American Theatrical Poster

“The Matrix Revolutions” American Theatrical Poster

Director: The Wachowskis
Writer: The Wachowskis
Producer: Joel Silver
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Nathaniel Lees, Jada Pinkett Smith, Harry J. Lennix, Harold Perrineau
Running Time: 129 min.

By Numskull

I was one of a relatively small group of people who was not disappointed with The Matrix Reloaded. As someone who was pleased but not awestruck by the first film, and as someone who doesn’t put a whole lot of stock in what other people say, I kept my expectations in check and chose not to be bothered by part two’s shortcomings; the overindulgence in slow motion, the crappy CGI shot of Trinity falling backwards while trading bullets with an Agent, the onslaught of information near the end after 100 or so easily digestible minutes, and so forth. Its purpose was to hold people over until the big, revelatory finale and to be the most balls-out, action-oriented film in the trilogy, and that suited me just fine.

The Matrix Revolutions is another matter. I am far from alone when I say that I’m not very happy with how this series has concluded. I didn’t expect to fall to my knees and thank God for being alive to witness some miracle of modern cinema, but I did expect the storyline to be given the sendoff it deserves.

Part of the reason for this, which can hardly be blamed on the orchestrators, is the unexpected continuity damage caused by the untimely death of Gloria Foster, who portrayed The Oracle quite memorably in the first two films. Another actress, Mary Alice, has been brought in to play the same character in a different “shell”. But Foster’s shoes are big ones to fill, and Alice doesn’t have the same sort of grandmotherly warmth we came to attach to The Oracle during the brief time we knew her. The real bitch of it is that she is more prominent now than ever before, and has considerably more screen time than in either of the preceding chapters. Other female characters Niobe and Zee also get more spotlight than before. The same cannot be said of Monica Bellucci and her eye-catching…ah, assets. More material with her and her husband, The Merovingian (Lambert Wilson)…whom, in Reloaded, I initially disliked but found amusing during subsequent viewings…would have been very welcome. Alas, Bellucci only has about two lines in the film (one for each…ah, asset).

I don’t imagine many people will have trouble following the basic plot here, unlike the first two movies. Whereas The Matrix gave viewers a few things to think about and Reloaded made viewers re-think those few things, Revolutions is little more than a great big The End. That’s not necessarily a complaint; I knew this was the final chapter, so to expect lots of earth-shattering twists would have been silly. No, what REALLY disappointed me was the action content, especially compared to the high-octane Reloaded. I don’t need to be told that there is more to these films than fighting, shooting, and blowing shit up, but let’s concentrate on those very things for the moment. Morpheus, Trinity and Seraph blasting their way into The Merovingian’s S&M club looks good but is of little consequence; for two of those characters it just feels too familiar, and there’s little reason to be too concerned about the third. Neo’s fight with Bane is nice and savage, but brief; the in-Matrix combatants, with their superhuman skill and endurance, have a way of sapping the intensity out of two guys just slugging the hell out of each other. The colossal battle of Zion, with its thousands upon thousands of machine invaders and its vastly outnumbered but incredibly valiant human defense force, is without question a masterpiece of special effects technology that will be regarded as THE sequence to beat by CGI teams for quite a while to come (or at least until Return of the King comes out, five weeks after this writing). However, an action scene that looks good isn’t worth much if it doesn’t FEEL good, too. For my part, I was not bored by it, or impatient for it to end, as I imagine others were. Nor was I entirely unmoved by the film’s attempts to get across the point that this battle is for nothing less than the survival of the human race. However, the scene is very repetitive, and the sheer amount of stuff going on as the focus shifts from the battlefield to Lock in the command room to Zee and her buddy to “The Kid” on reload duty to Niobe and Morpheus racing towards Zion and back again, made me yearn for something as calm and restrained as a 14-minute freeway chase. I don’t think this is a failing of the film; the siege is, at the end of the day, a spectacular sequence. But personally, I believe the best action pieces lie elsewhere.

“Elsewhere” sure as hell does not include the climax of Revolutions, though, as the inevitable duel between Agent Smith (just one of him) and Neo was disappointing beyond verbal description.

You’ve seen the preview. It’s raining heavily. Agent Smith clones line both sides of the street. It’s dramatic as hell.

Neo charges his opponent.

Agent Smith does the same.

They swing at each other.

And off they go!…

…for about 30 seconds.

From there, the heavily built-up sequence becomes an immensely uninvolving mess of flying around, big globes of water, dialogue which, at this point, almost nobody wants to hear, and more flying around. It’s a live-action anime fight, as others have said, and where that may be a selling point to some, it pisses me off something fierce. Call me old-fashioned, but I say that when it is promised that two guys are going to fight, they should actually…you know…FIGHT. The amount of time that these characters spend trading and dodging blows is minuscule compared to the amount of time they spend showing off the FX budget. By the time it reached the slow-mo shot of Keanu Reeves’s very wet fist connecting with Hugo Weaving’s very pliable face, I was too soured on the whole thing to really enjoy it.

At the end of this scene, there is a revelation of sorts. It wants you to say: “THAT’S it!” But, after the groan-inducing showdown between Neo and Smith, you’re more likely to say: “That’s IT?”

Believe in Jesus? If not, you’re more likely to disagree with me when I say that The Matrix Revolutions doesn’t have a “fairy tale” ending. Although the trilogy is brought to a close, the door is left open for additional material due to the issues raised by the wrap-up. Will certain promises be kept? Will The Matrix, as we have known it since the first film, continue to function in its current state? Will human beings continue to be used as batteries? Will the Wachowskis, ten years and a sex change operation down the road, find themselves strapped for cash and start sniffing around Joel Silver’s A-list crotch for a fourth film?

These questions, to me, are more annoying than those raised by Reloaded. (Examples: “Why does a ship have to leave Zion for someone to jack into The Matrix?” “Why doesn’t Neo just fly away from all the Smiths?” “What the fuck is this shit?”) Furthermore, there are some plot elements which aren’t resolved satisfactorily. By riding the “this is SO cool!” hype following the first Matrix film, and by injecting so much philosophical and spiritual flavor into the series, the Wachowskis have pretty much written themselves a license to get away with whatever they please in The Matrix Revolutions, assuming, perhaps, that you will A) just go with it, B) assume that it’s way over your head, or C) spend your every waking hour analyzing and discussing it, at which point The Matrix will truly have you.

So…does the mega-budget, trend-setting sci-fi trilogy conclude not with a bang but a whimper? Not quite. The Matrix Revolutions is a letdown, but not a catastrophe. I was disappointed, but not disgusted. For my money, this is the worst movie of the three, but there is still good filmmaking here, certainly several steps above many other Hollywood action hack jobs. All kidding aside, I don’t think the Wachowskis will ever find themselves unable to find employment in the industry, and I definitely believe that Hugo Weaving’s performance as Agent Smith warrants a high profile spot in the Really Cool Movie Bad Guys Hall of Fame.

Well, I’m off to watch the “Swarm of Smiths” fight in Reloaded (I refuse to call it “The Burly Brawl”; do the people who refer to it as such even know what “burly” means?) again.

If nothing else: thank you, Andy and Larry, for the one thing about this series I’ll always love.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By Owlman

All this talk about box-office receipts makes me nauseous. Recent returns on the opening weekend for The Matrix Revolutions are lower than those for the first two installments in the trilogy. On top of that, many critics are blasting the final story as a waste of time, too much style over substance, and too unreal (my personal favorite).

I am not cut of the same cloth as these critics. While I fancy myself at times as a fairly diverse consumer of all that is film entertainment, I also realize that I love mindless, stylish, and out-of-this-world stories as much as thoughtful, subdued, and slice-of-life stories.

The Matrix trilogy presents an interesting case. I thoroughly enjoyed the first of the trilogy and found it to be magical in its presentation. Even though I realized that much of its influence came from a good deal of Asian films that I’d seen over the years, the underlying story really did come through to me and provided a lot of fodder for forum discussions.

When Reloaded was released, I watched it with anticipation mixed with hesitation. Anticipation in seeing what more could be gleaned from such a complex back story – hesitation in knowing that sequels don’t usually fare too well in the quality department.

As forum readers know, I had originally blasted Reloaded as an inferior sequel to the first film and called it such things as “loud”, “mindless”, and “ridiculous” ­ obvious signs that the original hesitation took over my mind as I watched the movie. Later on, after viewing it for a second time, I revised my comments and gave it a more positive reception.

Why did that happen? While watching it a second time, it occurred to me that my first impression of Reloaded was focussed only on the visual aspects of the film. On that narrow focus, all I could see was the technical execution of the film and, as a result, I overlooked the depth of the dialogue and backing story. With a second viewing, it allowed me to see that there really was much more than the explosions, gunplay, and kung-fu. Case in point ­ the Architect’s complex dialogue with Neo. I totally missed out on his delivery at first but caught on during my second viewing.

Coming to Revolutions, I went in to the cinema yesterday ready to focus on the story, having been worked up at the questions presented during Reloaded. Instead, I was entranced by the technical marvel of the film ­ the gun battle at the Hell Club and the attack of the machines on Zion. The former scene reminded me of the lobby scene from the first film while the latter was simply a big-ass assault on the senses like any good battle scene should be.

Dialogue really did take a backseat this time around but not to its detriment. Questions from Reloaded were more-or-less answered in Revolutions by the usual talkative suspects (Oracle and, in a final cameo, the Architect). Hugo Weaving, reprising his role as Agent Smith, had the best lines throughout the movie. Plus, in what turned out to be a great impersonation, Ian Bliss (the Smith-possessed Bane) delivered his lines in an Agent Smith persona, mimicking Mr. Weaving’s pointed delivery to full effect.

Crap in the movie was limited only to Trinity’s final dialogue with Neo. Granted, the character was knocking on death’s door but, man, those lines were too Celine Dion for me.

Now, I could probably crap all over the final battle between Neo and Smith but I won’t. I liked it and it got me all nostalgic for the battle between Superman and Zod in Superman II. Yes, it was probably over-the-top in its delivery but, c’mon, we’re talking about super-powered beings in a laws-of-physics-be-damned fight to the finish. It’s supposed to be over-the-top and I don’t care who says otherwise.

Anyway, to wrap things up, you’re either going to love this film or hate it. Like Reloaded, it doesn’t have as much magic to it as the first film but it’s not mindless entertainment. It’s guaranteed to generate plenty of discussion in forums all over the web, whether it be about the action or about the complexities of the story. Either way, any movie that can get people talking about it at length can’t be all that bad.

One final note: in answer to the inevitable comparison to Star Wars, I would like to point out this ­ Star Wars (the original trilogy) based a lot of its appeal on its mythical storytelling. Fanboys could go on and on talking about myths and legends implied during the course of the movies (only to have them ruined by the prequels). The appeal of the Matrix trilogy is based more on the philosophical undertones to its storyline. In this case, fanboys could discuss ad nauseum about possibilities based on philosophical and even theological parallels.

Owlman’s Rating: 9/10

By Equinox21

The Matrix Revolutions picks up right where Reloaded leaves off, essentially making it one big movie split right down the center. However, as Reloaded explained most of the situation, Revolutions shows its “inevitable” resolution. That said, I think Revolutions was better than Reloaded, since we finally get to see what the Wachowski’s had in mind all along.

********* MAJOR SPOILERS FOR REMAINDER OF REVIEW *********

The plot is pretty simple. On the Hammer, Neo’s not actually in a coma, he’s actually “jacked in”. But, he’s in an area that’s in between the real world and the Matrix. But he’s stuck until the Merovingian decides to let him go, since he controls the passage out. So, Trinity and Morpheus go into the Matrix and meet with Seraph in an attempt to persuade the Merovingian to let him go. They’re successful and they get Neo out (after he’s had another chance to talk with the Oracle). The Hammer then meets up with Niobi’s hovercraft, the Logos. After a quick analysis of their situation, Neo and Trinity take the Logos, to get to the heart of the Machine City, and all the rest of the people take the Hammer in what might be considered a futile attempt to get back to Zion. Does the Hammer make it back to Zion in one piece? Do Neo and Trinity make it to the Machine City without becoming lunch meat? Can Smith be beaten? Tune in next week, same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Well, I loved this one. I loved the Mechs taking on the Sentinels in Zion’s Dock. It was as epic as any sci-fi film I’ve ever seen. One shot in particular astounded me, that was when the Sentinels were first starting to emerge from the hole they created in the ceiling of the Dock and EVERY MECH was firing at the openingÉ We’re treated to a wide shot showing tracer fire coming from every direction focused on that one spot and countless destroyed Sentinels falling out of the air. It was classic! Of course, that only lasted a short while before it turned into one giant SNAFU, and the Dock was lost. But the Hammer makes it back just in time to fire off their EMP, thus stopping the wave of Machines. But, it wasn’t enough. At that point only one thing could help them. Neo.

I loved that when people thought that going to the Machine City would be a suicide mission, they were RIGHT. Instead of simply letting the heroes escape at the end of the final confrontation, they died in the process of getting to that point. It’s more believable. It also shows a lot of the Asian cinema influence in the Wachowski’s decision to kill off two of the main characters, albeit in a heroic way. Thankfully, they didn’t use the “Nowhere to Hide” homage as the only major influence from Korean films, but also the fact that in nearly half of all Korean films the protagonist sacrifices him/herself at the end of the film. It’s the same thing here. Neo saves Zion by sacrificing himself.

This brings me to the final confrontation between Neo and Smith. Smith has grown more and more powerful since the beginning of Reloaded. Basically, he’s Neo’s opposite, because Neo “entered” him at the end of The Matrix in order to destroy him from the inside out. However, this didn’t actually destroy him, but instead gave Smith many of Neo’s own abilities, and then some. So, at the end of the fight between Smith and Neo, Neo has to let Smith “take over” his body (i.e., replicate himself in Neo), so that the Deus Ex Machina (the main entity that controls the Matrix) can destroy Smith in Neo’s body, thus learning how to do it, so it can then use that info to destroy every incarnation and copy of Smith in the Matrix. It works and Smith is destroyed, but at the cost of Neo’s life. I loved that Neo took over Smith to destroy him in the first movie, and had to let Smith take over him in order to destroy him in the last movie. Perfect!

The one thing about the movie I didn’t like is that during the final Neo/Smith rumble, there was still too much annoying CGI. There was lots of Anime inspiration, with superpowers abound and lots of flying around, but it seemed almost goofy in a live-action movie. I can believe it in an Anime, but it’s hard to swallow in a live-action movie, even though it did take place inside the Matrix, where that type of thing would be possible. It was still somehow strange. But, I overlooked that and enjoyed the finale.

Finally, there’s peace between Man and Machine. I think those who liked Reloaded will like Revolutions, and those that hated Reloaded will probably not like Revolutions all that much more. But, as I’m a sci-fi geek, I loved all 3 Matrix movies and wouldn’t want them any other way. Excellent work, Wachowski’s.

Equinox21’s Rating: 10/10

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Matrix Reloaded, The (2003) Review

Posted on January 31, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Matrix Reloaded" American Theatrical Poster

“The Matrix Reloaded” American Theatrical Poster

Director: The Wachowskis
Producer: Joel Silver
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Randall Duk Kim, Daniel Bernhardt, Harold Perrineau
Running Time: 138 min.

By Numskull

First things first: it is very fashionable to dislike The Matrix. I, for one, have long since grown sick and tired of arrogant, elitist followers of anime and Hong Kong action films constantly bitching about how the 1999 blockbuster “stole” (in truth: “used”) and “took credit for” (in fact: “popularized”) wire-enhanced martial arts choreography and various other visual touches, mistakenly believing that this “knowledge” makes them superior to the film’s enthusiastic fans.

Normally, I have no problem at all with crying foul when I see plagiarism and/or misplaced credit. There’s no force on Earth that can convince me that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon “pays homage” to The Hero of Swallow rather than flat-out stealing from it, and I share the opinion that cult favorite film “maker” Quentin Tarantino is little more than a charlatan and a rip-off artist. But the people who sneer at The Matrix so readily have a tendency to place a disproportionately large amount of emphasis on the action content…which, for a 136-minute movie, was far from excessive…ignoring the storyline and (yes, I’ll say it) ground-breaking visual effects which made the whole package so successful. I am reminded of my beloved Brotherhood of the Wolf and how it is often described…and dismissed…as a “kung fu werewolf movie”, a label so absurd that I have great difficulty believing that anyone who categorizes it as such has actually seen the film.

The fact is, The Matrix has been the subject of so much derision simply because it was…and is…popular. Some people just can’t stand a winner.

So, anyway. The Matrix Reloaded. Four years in coming, and I dare say it was worth the wait if you weren’t camped outside the theater for eight months or some silly shit like that. Whereas the original was, from my viewpoint, primarily a science-fiction movie with a significant action factor, Reloaded is more of a thinking person’s action film in a distinctly sci-fi setting. Accordingly, there’s more adrenaline this time around…a LOT more…and there is marked improvement in the skills of the martial arts-trained actors, especially Keanu Reeves. Producer/carnival barker Joel Silver’s claim that he (Reeves) could “take” Jet Li in single combat is still ridiculous, but someone whose only familiarity with both men was through their most recent releases could be forgiven for believing it. Why? Because the fights in The Matrix Reloaded, God be praised, do NOT have cuts every one and a half seconds. How refreshing it is to see an American-made film where it is understood that editing action scenes like MTV videos aimed at people with Attention Deficit Disorder diminishes the excitement rather than enhancing it. Compare this to Jet Li’s lackluster Romeo Must Die and abominable Cradle 2 the Grave (both of which, I hasten to add, were produced by Joel Silver), and Reeves comes out looking (just LOOKING, mind you) a hell of a lot smoother. After all, cinema is, among other things, an illusory art form. For me, it is sufficient to know that Silver’s comments are exaggeratory at best, fraudulent at worst. What do you expect? He’s a producer. Hype is a big part of his livelihood. The bright side: maybe Jet Li will stop making movies with him.

Now, speaking of fights. After a couple of satisfactory warm-ups, there’s the much-touted battle pitting Neo against an ever-increasing number of Agent Smith (Hugo “Elrond” Weaving, who for my money is the finest thespian in the cast) clones. Simply put (and yes, I’ll say “yes, I’ll say it” again): “Woah.” I’m sure there’s no shortage of willfully underwhelmed critics (or, perhaps, “critics”?) out there who turn their noses up at this scene, saying that it’s “too gimmicky” or what have you, but I have no reservations about calling it one of the most impressive action scenes of all time. I say “impressive” rather than “greatest” or “best” because of the sheer ambition required to bring it to the screen so successfully. Neo’s opposition grows from a small gang into a small army; to have them come after him as relentlessly as they do, instead of one at a time like the idiot thugs in other action movies, and to have it look and feel this good, is a hell of an achievement, CGI or no CGI. (The Smiths with whom Reeves directly interacts are Weaving and a handful of look-alikes in identical clothing; the background Smiths are computer-generated.) I was afraid…deathly afraid…that Neo would blithely swat aside every Smith in sight with minimal effort, thus ruining the kinetic suspense like a 21st century Bruce Lee, but he doesn’t. He has to fight like hell for every inch, and no sooner does he gain it than a dozen Smiths spring up to take it away. If I had a hat, it would be off to everyone involved.

A further note on CGI in fight scenes, or at least in this one: it’s fine to be a purist, but it’s not at all fine to be a snotty purist. You can prefer “shortcut-free” battles from the glory days of kung fu cinema (1970s and early 1980s) all you want, but credit is most definitely due here. There’s nothing wrong with drinking from two wells. I’m not some techno-junkie who can’t appreciate something “earthier” with more blood, sweat, and tears behind it, like the grueling climax of Drunken Master 2 or the Yuen Biao/Frankie Chan duel at the end of The Prodigal Son; but when it comes to that pumped-up, every-move-counts feeling that goes with a good, plot-relevant fight, as well as just plain being “into it”, Neo vs. The Smiths (the Agents, not the band) gets the nod. Think I’m an ignorant mainstream dolt who can’t discern gold from crap painted yellow? Bite me. That’s my opinion and I’m standing by it. (I’m also standing by my wildly unpopular view that The Prodigal Son is overrated AS A MOVIE, although, like anyone else with a brain in his or her head, I consider the aforementioned fight scene, in and of itself, a technical marvel.)

Later in the film is another well-executed skirmish, this time with Neo against the Merovingian’s sword, spear, axe, and mace-wielding henchmen in a lavish chamber with two staircases and lots of expensive-looking stuff just begging to be smashed. The Merovingian himself is an enigmatic character, something like the late Gloria Foster’s Oracle, but nowhere near as pleasant. Actor Lambert Wilson plays him like the living embodiment of the embarrassing, inaccurate American stereotype of the snooty, limpdick Frenchman. They shoulda got Vincent Cassel. Maybe they tried, and he didn’t want to do it, but his wife Monica Bellucci (whose screen time as Persephone is short but memorable) did, and that’s why they separated. I dunno. Nunna my bizniss.

Much has also been written of the epic car chase sequence, which took 45 days to film and had a triple-digit vehicular body count…like the fact that it took 45 days to film, and had a triple-digit vehicular body count. Morpheus and Trinity trying to keep The Keymaker (Randall Duk Kim) out of the clutches of two ghostly twin brothers (Adrian and Neil Rayment) who can’t be killed by conventional means, with the added threat of Agent Smith’s former brethren, makes for some solid thrills, including a frantic fight scene inside a speeding car. Morpheus finally blowing the twins’ vehicle to smithereens drew a round of applause from the otherwise quiet audience of which I was a part.

Following that is an oddly edited few minutes wherein Morpheus goes over his plan to bring the war between man and machine to an end. Further elaboration, I trust, is unnecessary (not to mention spoiler-ish); you’ve probably all seen the film anyway, and even if you haven’t, by now you must have made up your mind whether to see it or not.

Storywise, there’s still some stuff you need to wrap your head around, but there is also a slightly more in-your-face presentation and ligther tone. The Wachowskis are a little more intent on making you laugh this time around, mostly through bits of dialogue that wouldn’t be nearly as amusing if the shades-clad characters reciting them didn’t look so serious. Hugo Weaving gets the best line: “Me, too.”

Faults: There’s a regrettable dance sequence, periodically interrupted to show Neo and Trinity doing a dance of their own (I believe it’s the Hole Punch Boogie), which seems to have been included for little reason other than to exhibit the accompanying music. There are just one or two too many slow motion FX shots, as if the movie just can’t get enough of its own coolness (whether that coolness is perceived or genuine is a matter of personal taste). And what’s with the absence of Tank on screen and even in dialogue? You’d think that Morpheus would have at least sent him a fruit basket or something. Ah well, the guy was a pretty lousy actor anyway (not fit to share the stage with Keanu friggin’ Reeves, eh?).

If there’s a better action movie made with Hollywood money, I sure as hell haven’t seen it, and I don’t expect I ever will, with the exception of the unreleased-as-of-this-writing third and final installment, The Matrix Revolutions. What we have here is a film that couldn’t possibly live up to its hype (thanks a lot, Joel), but still deserves the huge success it is sure to enjoy and demands multiple viewings even more than its predecessor did. This, by fuck, is a job well done.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

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Matrix, The (1999) Review

Posted on January 31, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Matrix" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“The Matrix” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: The Wachowskis
Writer: The Wachowskis
Producer: Joel Silver
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Gloria Foster, Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Anthony Ray Parker, Julian Arahanga
Running Time: 136 min.

By Numskull

“Unfortunately…no one…can describe…what the Matrix…really is.” The Matrix…the movie, not the thing that no one can describe…is a rare thing indeed: a film that got widespread success, a franchise deal (two sequels in the works) and shitloads upon shitloads of money at the box office…AND ACTUALLY DESERVED IT.

Artistically, it lays waste to that year’s other SFX mega-blockbuster, STAR WARS EPISODE I, in every way imaginable (fanboys, no amount of hate mail in the world will change the fact that PHANTOM MENACE was a fucking abomination, so save your energy). Better plot, better dialogue, better action, better acting…despite Keanu Reeves being in the lead role. Reeves just about always has a vacant stare, a slack jaw, and a flat monotone, but in this particular instance it works to his advantage. After all, most people would be more than a little cowed to learn that reality as they knew it was a lie. Stupefied, even…unlike the guy in DARK SHITTY (“So…this city was created by alien powers and all of its citizens have been helpless puppets all their lives. Well, I’ll fix that.”). Also there’s Laurence Fishburne, thee hard-assed spaceship captain from EVENT HORIZON and the hard-assed undercover cop from FLED, who plays the hard-assed internet legend (kind of) named Morpheus. Then we have Carrie-Anne Moss, the token heroine who, as we are incessantly reminded, can take care of herself. I bet she could kick Natalie Portman’s non-swearing, no-flesh-showing ass any day of the week.

But the real star of the show is Hugo Weaving, who plays the villainous Agent Smith and delivers most of his lines as if he has just swallowed a wad of shit-flavored chewing gum but is trying to give the impression that nothing is amiss.

Perhaps “villainous” is the wrong word…I certainly can’t object to the classification of human beings as viruses, but allowing them to go around thinking they’re living their own lives when in fact they are mere livestock seems like more trouble than it’s worth. Why not simply stick them in pens like the cattle they so frequently act like?

The Matrix is probably The Greatest Movie I Almost Never Saw. When the commercials started popping up, the use of Enigma’s song “The Eyes of Truth” caught my ears, the special effects caught my eyes, and the total lack of any sort of clue as to what the movie was ABOUT caught my attention. Remember the commercials from Jerry MacGuire? There were about half a dozen different TV ads, and not a single one of them offered the slightest hint as to its content. “Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Show me the money. Tom Cruise.” Typical moviegoers were all supposed to flock to the theaters in droves just because Tom Cruise was in the damn thing and, sadly, most of them did.

The Matrix’s ad campaign pulled basically the same shit…29 seconds of flashy special effects and Keanu Reeves saying “Woah.” Of course I could have looked up some info in the form of printed words, or on the ‘net, but the way I saw it, if the TV commercials couldn’t be bothered to give any relevant facts then the movie simply couldn’t be worth seeing. All flash, no substance, like Independence Day or Armageddon or some shit like that. To Hell with it. I swore up and down that I would never, ever, ever watch The Matrix.

Then came the day Jeremy wanted to go hiking with us. Jeremy is the same Jeremy from my Millionaires’ Express review (Good God I’m shameless), and “us” is myself and my brother. The three of us were going to climb Mt. Norwatuck but we decided to play some Tekken 3 before we did it.

Now, Jeremy and I are probably the two most evenly-matched Tekken 3 players in the universe. Against other people we might hold our own, we might dominate, or we might get demolished. But against each other, we produced matches the likes of which had never seen before. We set it so that there was no time limit and the first one to win five rounds would be the victor, and gave ourselves maximum stamina (140%). Then we went at it tooth and nail until my brother…two and a half years older than myself…was literally jumping around the room, making noises like some small furry animal in an excited condition, and making an entire meal out of his fingernails. Without fail we went neck and neck for the length of the fight, or one of us would get creamed for four rounds and then make a monstrous comeback. When our thumbs turned red and started screaming for mercy, we weren’t even half-way finished yet. There was never an occasion where it didn’t come down to the two of us with four rounds apiece, reduced to maybe 20% life, and going into a mad frenzy of puching, kicking, and blocking which had us both on the edges of our proverbial seats.

But this time, Jeremy wan’t cooperating. As my Anna Williams beat seven shades of shit out of his Eddy Gordo without breaking a sweat, he kept jabbering on and on about this crappy-looking movie The Matrix, how awesome it was, and how we just HAD to see it. I told him my feelings about the TV commercials while Anna broke Eddy’s left arm. Instead of relaying plot information to me, he just kept talking about the obvious influence of HK cinema, citing the shootout in the lobby on more than one occasion. Personally, I’m a definitie content over style type of person where NON-HK movies are concerned, so, to me, all of this amounted to baby shit. Artsy-fartsy camera angles be damned…if the story’s no good, then the movie sucks. Case closed.

When beating up a barely-mobile opponent stopped being fun, I shut the game off and went downstairs to get my hiking stuff. Upon my return to my brother’s room, I was horrified to learn that he had been talked into seeing this movie.

Well, shit. I didn’t want to NOT go hiking. After some small deliberation I decided to break my vow and go through with it (no, I’m not talking about a vow of chastity). Perhaps the mindless violence would be fun if I superimposed Jeremy’s face on the screen everytime somebody got shot. Then I would be in a foul mood for the rest of the day, I would make the ascension of Mt. Norwatuck miserable for everyone, and I would make the descension even worse. Then we would go back and play more Tekken 3 and we would want to destroy each other for real, and then, by God, we would have matches like we usually did.

My resolve lasted until five minutes into the movie.

How, I thought, in AMERICA, can a movie this good be made and have such crappy commercials? Silly question…stupid commercials are aimed at stupid people, and 95% of all people qualify as “stupid” AT LEAST. But for the film’s duration I put such thoughts out of my head and indulged in total escapism. It’s very rare when a moive can make me do that. Neo’s sparring session with Morpheus couldn’t hold a candle to our Tekken 3 matches but it was still pretty spiffy. I didn’t even want to get up for a minute to use the restrooms, but when the pressure in my bladder became unbearable (during the scene where Trinity pilots the helicopter to help rescue Morpheus), I ran…and yes, I do mean RAN to the nearest urinal and, afterwards, gave my hands the most thorough five-second washing they’d ever received. I was gone for less than a minute, but I whispered “What did I miss?” before I even sat back down.

The only scars on this movie’s otherwise fine surface are the soundtrack (featuring such distinguished personalities as Marilyn Manson…groan…) and the hokey fairy-tale twist at the end, in which Neo is brought back from the brink of death because…(gasp, sob) Trinity loves him. Normally this sort of crap would cause me to walk out of the theater, but everything else had been so good that I barely even cared.

I re-played the whole movie in my head whilst climbing the mountain. When Jeremy said he had to “dodge” off the path for a moment to relive himself, I considered sneaking up on him, holding an imaginary gun to his head, and saying “dodge this”, but thought better of it when the tell-tale splash of urine on earth hit the air.

So, now I’ve told you about the day I went to see the movie while hardly telling you anything about the movie itself. The irony isn’t lost on me, but I assume that anyone reading this is already familiar with it. If not, well then why the fuck not? The Matrix is a breath of fresh air in the stale realm of American cinema. Go see it, now. Go go go go go. May the force be with youxxxxxxxxxx may the force be fucked, this is the real landmark flick of 1999.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

By James H.

Warner Brothers’ reputation is one that has been waning in the past ten years. Before the 1990s, the had a produced some of the greatest and most influential films. Ones like “Superman”, “Blade Runner”, “Lethal Weapon”, “Enter the Dragon”, and “The Maltese Falcon”. But in the ’90s, they have produced some of the worst movies in history. Those would be ones like “Batman & Robin”, “Wild Wild West” and “Batman Forever” to name a few.

Fortunately, “The Matrix” is not one of the latter. While not being one of the greatest films, it is sure to become influential on most action movies to be seen in the next ten years. In fact, it’s started already, look at the similar, but inferior effects in “Romeo Must Die”.

“The Matrix” is groundbreaking in its visuals and style, but the story and themes presented have been done before and better in Alex Proyas’ “Dark City” and Ridley Scott’s “Blade Runner”.

Keanu Reeves stars as Neo, a computer programmer by day and a hacker/computer criminal by night. He is looking for the legendary hacker named Morphius (Lawrence Fishburne). Anyway, things get complicated when it turns out that the world isn’t real, but a computer program.

The film features some great action set pieces, and some nice HK looking fights (thanks to choreographer Yuen Wo-Ping). The look simply amazing. The Wachowski brothers are obviously influenced by John Woo’s style of action (just watch the lobby scene).

The performances are generally well done. The main actors (Reeves, Fishburne, Moss) all do great and fit their characters perfectly. Some of the supporting actors (Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Julian Arahanga) come across as rather wooden and obnoxious (especially Tank and Apoc). However, it is Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith) who stands above the rest, giving us one of the most memorable villains in the last ten years.

“The Matrix” had some big expectations. It was the first of the summer blockbusters of ’99, and it needed to pay off. Luckily, it did. And I think it out-performed every other big-budget summer blockbuster, even the ones that made more money. George Lucas, eat your heart out.

James H’s Rating: 9/10

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Last Hurrah for Chivalry (1979) Review

Posted on January 31, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Last Hurrah for Chivalry" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Last Hurrah for Chivalry” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: John Woo
Cast: Damian Lau, Wai Pai, Lau Kong, Lee Hoi San, Hsu Hsia, Fung Hak On, Chin Yuet Sang, Ngai Chau Wah, Cheng Lui, Huang Ha, Baan Yun Sang, Chan Dik Hak, Chan Siu Gai, Cheung Ging, Johnny Cheung
Running Time: 107 min.

By Raging Gaijin

“Last Hurrah for Chivalry” has all the elements of a John Woo film: abundant use of slow motion, expertly choreographed action sequences, extreme blood-letting, and a strong theme of friendship. The only difference is, the heroes wield swords instead of guns. And, okay, there aren’t any flying doves – Woo hadn’t developed that particular fetish yet. But everything else is in place and this movie is all the better for it: “Last Hurray for Chivalry” is a John Woo movie for people who like John Woo movies. And with the swordplay and ancient Chinese setting, this is probably about as close as we’re going to get to a John Woo-directed Shaw Brothers film.

The story is a deceptively simple tale of revenge. A man is disgraced and left for dead on his wedding night and he slowly but surely assembles the means to claim vengeance. His closest allies in the upcoming battle also end up being his closest friends. “Last Hurrah for Chivalry” is a movie about men who are devoted to each other, to the point where they would willingly lay down their lives for one another. If you can’t handle that, you might not want to watch it. But you have to admit it has a lot more depth and emotion than your average American ‘buddy’ flick. One thing I’ve always appreciated about “The Killer” is that, beyond the ammo clips and bullet holes, it’s really just a movie about friendship. “Last Hurrah for Chivalry” is much the same way.

One reason I say the story is “deceptively simple” is because it gives way to many plot twists. There are more twists and turns to this movie than any other 70’s-era HK flick I can think of. Heroes become villains or become villains and turn back again, others fake their own death. At some point, it almost becomes *too* much. The film had me on a roller-coaster and kept flinging me in several different directions at once; one minute I was devastated by a particular turn of events, and then a few minutes later I was elated because they reversed themselves. Of course, it speaks volumes for “Last Hurrah for Chivalry” that I was so emotionally involved in it. I came to care about these characters and the conflicts that motivated them. It’s probably a good thing I was so involved too, as I didn’t have as much time to notice the cheap production design and props.

Another thing that distracted me from the low production values was the sword-fighting and martial arts battles. There’s plenty strewn throughout the entire movie and they are often long, complicated affairs with jaw-dropping choreography. This is truly some of the best sword-fighting ever put to film. Most of the characters are memorable so it makes the conflicts more engaging as well. Keep an eye out for the Sleeping Wizard, one of the coolest villains to appear in a Hong Kong flick. He’s at his best fighting ability when fast asleep; you wouldn’t think this would work onscreen but it does. Perhaps he’s a distant cousin to the Drunken Master?

All in all, if you love John Woo movies, chances are you’ll love “Last Hurrah for Chivalry”. The heroes may have traded their guns for swords but everything else is here. While it may not reach the emotional or visceral heights of “The Killer” or “Bullet in the Head”, this is jut as exciting and action-packed as the first two “A Better Tomorrows”. Highly recommended for fans of the director and anyone else looking for an old school epic with plenty of swordplay.

Raging Gaijin’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Numskull

If you think John Woo did nothing noteworthy before A Better Tomorrow, think again. Last Hurrah For Chivalry proves that John Woo movies aren’t about gunfire, they’re about action. And, in an age where all a movie needs to do is have one character throw a single punch to get filed under “action” by bleary-eyed video store clerks, this here, my friends, is the genuine article.

It goes like this. Kao is the scholarly son of a famous warrior who just wants to get married. So he finds a gal at the local whorehouse, buys her, and invites all of his friends over to celebrate the momentous occasion (isn’t true love a grand thing?). The party is crashed, however, by Pai, a bitter rival of Kao’s family, and the would-be groom is disgraced in his own home. A pair of loyal servants help him get the hell out of dodge and the revenge motive is solidified.

Now, here’s the problem. Kao is a nice guy…he treats his servants like friends and his enemies with respect…but he’s also a bit of a wuss. Hesitant to challenge Pai on his own, he begs his Yoda-type teacher to loan him a legendary sword and attempts to enlist the aid of Chang, a swordsman who is less concerned about upholding his reputation as a valiant fighter than he is with seeing his sister get married off and looking after his sick mom. Also figuring into the equation is Green, a hard-drinking assassin who can never seem to get paid; his (Green’s) nameless prostitute friend who has the hots for him something fierce; and Pray, another swordsman who just can’t wait to challenge Chang to a duel in order to prove his skills superior or die trying.

Relax, people…this is not a predecessor of Highlander. Despite the absence of black suits and white doves, this is a John Woo movie through and through. To reveal more of the plot would be criminal; just watch it.

Swordplay fans will just about come in their pants. No wires, no preposterous exchanges between combatants flying effortlessly through the air, no complete domination by one side of the conflict while the slack-jawed opposition just stands there and gets slaughtered like cattle, no cotton candy-colored blood leaking like water from a two-dollar garden hose. Just fast and furious sword fighting the way it oughta be, dammit!

The plentiful action has some great spots that’ll make you say “Hey, cool!” (including a guy getting stabbed in the ass!). If you can look past the occasional Superman-style attack, you’ll find lots to enjoy. The inevitable showdown between Chang and Pray is rock-solid, and the grand finale is a keeper as well. But the best of the action occurs between those two battles. In a sequence which screams “John Woo directed me, motherfucker!”, Chang and Green have a nice conversation in a lush garden with tranquil music accompanied by the sounds of gentle streams and waterfalls…and then they mount a head-on assault against Pai’s stronghold and butcher his 36 warrior servants. Ya ha ha!

Out two heroes fighting off wave upon wave of armed guards is to be expected, of course, but the fun doesn’t stop there. A very cool scene has Chang and Green, separated from their swords, in a bare-handed fight with two baddies within the confines of an iron cage which is just barely large enough to accomodate all four men.

Then, they must confront the crown jewel of Pai’s security force…the Famous Sleeping Wizard. He’s a guy who fights with a sword in each hand while fast asleep! Forget Drunken Kung Fu, it’s no match for Sleeping Swordplay. It’s like somthing out of an acid trip kung fu travesty, but it works splendidly, and the noises the wizard makes are hilarious. Cool music, too.

All of this is small (but tasty) potatoes, though, compared to the climactic battle in a room filled with dozens and dozens of lit candles (yeah, I know what you’re thinking). It may not be the longest or most technically sound fight scene, but in terms of sheer, grueling intensity, it’s beyond reproach. And let’s not forget those neat tricks, either.

The only faults I could find with this movie were some cheap-looking outdoor sets, repetitive “clangs” during the sword fights, and a very abrupt reminiscent of…well, actually, just about all HK action movies have abrupt endings. Never mind any of this, though. If you allow yourself to get distracted by the backgrounds or the sound effects during the fighting, then the whole movie is probably lost on you anyway.

A word to the wise before I sign off here, folks…if you get the DVD, do not, I repeat, DO NOT watch the theatrical trailer before the movie itself! In a mere two minutes, it gives away half of the damn film. Don’t read the description on the back of the package, either…it’s part spoiler and part bullshit (one of the plot points it “gives away” never actually happens!).

Last Hurrah For Chivalry isn’t perfect, but it’s a blast to watch if you’re half the HK movie fan you claim to be, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. You’ll probably accuse me of spewing shameless hyperbole, but dammit, it’s been ages since I’ve seen a movie half as enjoyable as this, and I’ll exaggerate as much as I fucking well please.

(Whip-cracking sound)

GO! Now!

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |
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