Dragon Lord | aka Young Master in Love (1982) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Dragon Lord" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Dragon Lord” Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Dragon Strike
Director: Jackie Chan
Producer: Raymond Chow
Cast: Jackie Chan, Mars, Chan Wai Man, Paul Chang, Suet Lee, Tien Feng, Wang In Sik, Tai Bo, Cheng Hong Yip, Kwan Yung Moon, Danny Chow, Fung Hak On
Running Time: 95 min.

By Reefer

Dragon Lord begins as two sons from rich families prepare for a team contest involving some bamboo pyramid with a football resting at the top. The opening lines of dialogue go something like this:

Mars: Hey guys, have come up with a game plan yet?
Jackie: We will make up the plan on the way!

This is ironic because it seems that Jackie followed his own advice in putting together this very enjoyable kung fu comedy. More comedy than kung fu, the story is like Starbucks; it’s all over the place. You get the impression that he invited a hundred pals together AND THEN decided what to do. Even without much logical flow, Jackie’s natural charisma and athleticism, as usual, persuades the audience to follow him anywhere.

This is also a rare Jackie role where the kung fu isn’t central to the story. While he is a martial arts student, he spends most of the time trying to avoid his studies and fool his father to the contrary with the help of his servants and teacher. The film’s outcome does not depend on Jackie’s ability to master a fighting style beat a foe. I personally think it is more about growing out of boyish selfishness and caring for something bigger than himself like the Chinese antiques (read: national honor) imperiled by the end of the film.

But Jackie fans don’t care about explication. They want action. Here is where Dragon Lord runs a little thin. Besides the excellent and complicated brawl of the finale and a humorous scuffle with two soldiers, there really isn’t much in terms of kung fu. There are, however, some quite wonderful and dangerous scenarios involving Jackie stranded on a rooftop with bad guys jamming spears through the shingles at Jackie’s slightest movement and a Look-what-I-can-do stunt with Jackie jumping over a huge lit candelabra of which he has absolutely no business clearing with such ease.

Note: For some reason, two sequences where included that chronicle the events of a funky sport that is best described as a cross between badminton and soccer and the aforementioned bamboo pyramid thing. Both are so poorly edited that you cannot follow the action, but also requiring such skillful timing and athletic ability. I enjoyed the audacity of it, but ultimately found it to be filler in a film with plenty of it already.

Reefer’s Rating: 7/10

By Ro

I have to say I was surprised by my reaction to this film. I expected to dislike the sports, since I was so bored by the car racing in Thunderbolt, but they were the best part of the movie for me! The initial competition (some kind of football) was balletic and brutal at the same time. These guys managed graceful acrobatic leaps and falls while losing none of the raw energy of the ‘sport’. The shuttlecock competition was equally mesmerizing. The incredible precision of movement really showcased Jackie and his team’s ability to do anything athletic superbly.

The fights were a bit of a disappointment, though. I enjoyed the first big one in the temple (after waiting almost an hour for it!), but the final showdown was a little too frenetic and sloppy for me. And I’ll eat this review if it wasn’t undercranked! I know, in past reviews of this time period, I complained that the pace was too slow and now I’m saying it was too fast (apparently there’s no pleasing me!).

As for the plot, it’s best left unmentioned. All in all, it’s infinitely better than anything by Lo Wei, but nowhere near the league of what he would accomplish in just a year, with Project A. After reading his book, I know where his head was, so all I can say is I’m glad that he realized he was out of control and got centered again, with the help of his Opera School brothers.

Ro’s Rating: 6.5/10

By Andrew

This was one of my favorite JC films. I know it’s kind of old, and some of the dialogue is stupid, (who would watch these things or dialogue anyways?) but this film has awesome action sequences, and fights that outclass special effects. I love playing rugby and hacky sack, so when I saw the bun race and the shuttlecock soccer scenes I was pretty stoked. I got some people to watch this one with me, but they didn’t believe that Jackie was really doing all the stuff he did. If you’ve seen this one already and only thought it was so-so you need to watch it again and look for what’s realy going on in some of the better fighting scenes.

A few of my favorites: Intro/Race to the Top: Four teams are climbing a flimsy wooden tower to retreive a rugby ball they call the “bun”. When Jackie is almost to the top someone pulls on his jersey and he loses his grip. If you look closely you’ll see that he tumbles all the way to the ground! Rooftop Kite Sequence: Jackie is on top of the bad guys hideout trying to get his kite back (unlikely, but hey it’s a movie) when they start shoving REAL spears through the roof to try and stab him. You know that they coreographed this sequence, but many of those spears are less than half-a-second away from stabbing him when they go through the roof. This is the kind of buster keatonesque madness that makes Jackie great.

Shuttlecock kick: In the hacky sack match Jackie shoots halfway across the court to make the winning kick. This may not seem like much, but it’s harder than it looks. It took 1000 takes to get this one right, but it has paid off. In many of his later movies you can see him kick something at someone with pinpoint accuracy. This is a direct result of practicing this kick. Fight in the temple: Jackie fights two thugs in a temple. His character in this film is not the greatest fighter, and he does take a few hits. But check out the scene where he does a standing jump over a candle rack. He clears it by so little that he actually puts the candles out! Try that one Van Damme! Fight in the barn: I love it when Jackie clobbers that guy in the end. “Do you think he is dead?” “If he’s not we are in real trouble!” There’s a point though when Jackie goes over the railing, flips on a cross bar, and lands on- Cowboy. That’s right, Mars is there to break Jackie’s fall, and both hurt their backs. Ow!

If I were going to introduce someone to JC films and I could show them any three of his movies I would probably show this one, along with Police Force and First Strike. These are all good overall films which showcase his abilities in a different way.

Andrew’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Numskull

This opens up with a nifty contact sport that looks quite painful, but then it goes into a lame-assed storyline about Jackie and his friend competing for the attention of some girl. It was funny enough watching Jackie cheat off his shoe and get pissed on, but for the most part, the middle of this movie is a drag. Worst of all is the ultra-tedious game played with a badminton birdie. When you reach that part of the movie, it’s a good time to read WAR AND PEACE if you haven’t done so already. The film redeems itself at the end, though, especially with the nice and crippling fight in the barn (although it’s fairly difficult to sympathize with a character who doesn’t even question whether or not a few old pots are worth getting killed for). Overall the movie is good but not great… as with Fearless Hyena, I would have preferred less dipshit humor and more serious fighting.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Yakuza, The | aka Brotherhood of the Yakuza (1975) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Yakuza" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Yakuza" Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Sydney Pollack
Producer: Sydney Pollack
Writer: Paul Schrader, Robert Towne, Leonard Schrader
Cast: Robert Mitchum, Richard Jordan, Ken Takakura, Brian Keith, Herb Edelman
Running Time: 112 min.

By Woody

When you rent a film with high expectations and get even more than you bargained for, you know you’ve got a great film on your hands.

In “The Yakuza”, Robert Mitchum is Harry Kilmer, a man who returns to Japan after 15 years to rescue the kidnapped daughter of his pal Tanner (Keith) from the clutches of the Yakuza. Once there, Kilmer is forced to enlist the aid of his former lover Eiko’s brother, Ken (Takakura Ken).

The main emphasis of this film is the relationship between Kilmer and Ken. While Ken was believed dead in the war, Kilmer was taking care of his sister and young niece. Everything seemed to be going great for Eiko and Kilmer until Ken miraculously returned from the war, and Eiko refused to marry Kilmer. Ken resents Kilmer because of his sister’s relationship with him, a gaijin, but is also in great debt to him for taking care of his family in his absence, and that is why he agrees to help rescue the girl. After the rescue goes bad and two Yakuza are killed, both Ken and Kilmer are in danger, and feel an obligation to help one another out. The relationship between these two characters, Ken and Kilmer, is what drives the film, and Takakura Ken and Robert Mitchum give such believable performances, that the tension is quite convincing. To see two of the world’s greatest actors ever in one film is a delight.

“The Yakuza” is perhaps best known as the writing debut of Paul Schrader, the writer of “Taxi Driver”, and the director of “Affliction” and “Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters”. Like Schrader’s other films, this isn’t a light piece of entertainment. This film deals with themes of honor and self sacrifice in a more honest way then one would expect, and the themes and images of this film are apparent in many of Schrader’s works, most notable “Mishima” and “Taxi Driver”. This film is a real testament to Schrader’s skill, for there are many plot twists and surprises, but they never come at the expense of the plot or characters.

The action is also really well handled, and is never used just for the sake of having action. Each time something violent occurs, it affects the plot and characters. And let me tell you, for a 1975 Warner Bothers production, this movie kicks! It mixes samurai inspired swordplay with surprisingly well choreographed gunfighting in a very unique, yet pretty believable, (and violent!) way. The final piece of action (this film does not end at the final action scene like most action movies) in this film, featuring Takakura on the swords and Mitchum on the firearms is something to behold.

My only real problem with this film is that there are pauses in the narrative to explain Japanese culture, a culture I am pretty well versed in. Of course, for the casual viewer, this may not be a problem.

In conclusion, this is a great movie. Robert Mitchum and Takakura Ken, together in a filmscripted by Paul Schrader…need I say more? Oh, and a quick warning: If you are a fan of pinky fingers, you may want to avoid this film like the plague…OUCH!

Woody’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |

Midnight Meat Train, The (2008) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by ningen31
"The Midnight Meat Train" Korean Theatrical Poster

“The Midnight Meat Train” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Cast: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Roger Bart, Ted Raimi, Peter Jacobson, Barbara Eve Harris, Tony Curran, Vinnie Jones
Running Time: 100 min.

By Ningen

Ryuhei Kitamura’s American debut didn’t exactly go off with a bang. Due to some in-fighting at Lion’s Gate, this action/horror adaptation of a Clive Barker short story ended up on the company’s straight-to-video list, while classic horror fans had to snooze through those boring trailers of Repo! The Genetic Opera and that remake of My Bloody Valentine-the latter of which has to resort to being in 3-d to get people to notice it. In fact, Barker reportedly burned his bridges so boldly-to the point that he allegedly cursed off the company at a SDCC screening-that LG chose to flip him off by dumping the flick in $1 theaters. Barker’s story was that the go-to producer for horror was let go, and, as a result, his projects with the company in general got the short end of the stick. [But to be fair, how could Barker possibly compete with the “genius” of Disaster Movie?]

Still, in spite of being set on a course of failure, there were actual fans of his work-and I assume Kitamura’s work, too-who flocked en masse to see this film-at least in L.A. One midnight screening with Kitamura in person actually sold out, and that was before Halloween! So I was actually fortunate to catch another show a few months later with Barker this time. When I asked Barker at a New Beverly screening about whether there was any double-standard for Meat Train’s mistreatment, because of Kitamura’s Asian background, he acknowledged that it’d be a different story if it was a white director who spoke English, even though he felt Kitamura’s English was very good. [Catching Kitamura at an Azumi panel a few years earlier, I’d have to agree with Barker. I think it has to do with his time in Australia, but that’s another story.] But the real problem was, in his eyes, that the studios have a narrow-minded view of what audiences might like in a horror film. For example, when he talked about how he wants to make “the best damn film” he could, and the audience applauded, he noted that the reaction shows the state of the genre at the moment. If it was 25 years ago when he said that, no one would be impressed, since they assumed the director was getting paid well either way.

As for the actual premise of Midnight Meat Train, it’s about a professional photographer named Leon who’s coaxed into shooting more unsettling images of his city for an exhibit. He manages to save a girl who nearly gets assaulted (and raped?) by a gang, but who ironically gets killed on the subway train she leaves on that same evening. She winds up as a missing person on the news, and Leon subsequently feels obligated to solve the mystery behind her murder. What he learns is that there’s some beefy guy who likes using metallic objects to bludgeon bystanders who happen to take the train at night. He decides to find out why it’s happening, and what he discovers is that it’s part of a massive conspiracy and cover-up.

If you’re expecting Kitamura’s typical b-action style of filming, you might be in for a disappointment. Where this picture excels is through its various close-up and lighting shots which emphasize the mellow, but ominous, mood which establishes the scary moments. Also, the wardrobes of the actors playing the urbanites look like people you actually might encounter in the Big City, and not just people dressed to impress-as is the norm in these settings nowadays. These subtle touches add to the “You are there” experience.

But in general, Midnight Meat Train is more an exploration of the monster myth than a typical slasher film. It highlights the culture behind the contemporary fantasy of the serial killer, rather than focusing on the lives of the victims. That’s not to say that it’s cold-blooded like Saw, or “ironic” like Scream; it’s just that the setting becomes serves to help “explain” the attacker better, and what about his dwelling makes him so frightening.

This is also not to say that it’s some sort of existential bore-fest like Blair Witch. No, you will encounter gory and disgusting scenes of torture in ‘Meat Train. But these moments aren’t just inserted into the frames for the sake of shock value. No, they deliver on the tension already built through the previous scenes of the film.

Unfortunately, depending on how well you pay attention to the movie, the “surprise” at the end might not be that unexpected. However, it doesn’t necessarily hurt the impact of the work as much as enhance it. Also, for some reason, the scenes of intimacy feature the characters clothed. But if you’re just looking for a good thrill with some a sense of realism, you can’t go wrong with Midnight Meat Train.

Ningen’s Rating: 7.5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

Ninja III: The Domination (1984) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Ninja III: The Domination" American Theatrical Poster

“Ninja III: The Domination” American Theatrical Poster

AKA: Ninja 3
Director: Sam Firstenberg
Writer: James R. Silke
Cast: Sho Kosugi, Lucinda Dickey, Jordan Bennett, David Chung, Dale Ishimoto, James Hong, Ron Foster, Bob Craig, Charly Harroway, Lem Cook
Running Time: 92 min

By Owlman

Ninja III: The Domination was released in 1984 and directed by Sam Firstenberg (Revenge of the Ninja, American Ninja). The film stars Lucinda Dickey (Breakin’) as Christie, a telephone maintenance technician and part-time aerobics instructor possessed by the spirit of an evil ninja assassin.

(Excuse me while I laugh for a minute…okay, done)

As the film starts, the evil Black Ninja (David Chung) is making his way to a posh golf and country club on a mission to kill some important dude. After killing the guy, Black Ninja then proceeds to slay pretty much everyone else in the vicinity. Police show up, chase him around the fields, and suffer plenty of casualties as a result. However, they finally do surround Black Ninja and start blasting him with some good ol’ guns. After being nailed with about 80 or so bullets, Black Ninja disappears after tossing a smoke bomb.

Meanwhile, Christie is up on a telephone pole nearby doing some repairs. Black Ninja, obviously wounded but still alive, manages to make his way towards her and hands her his sword. Little does Christie know that his spirit is infused in the sword and after she touches it, said spirit is then transferred to her body.

The possession begins slowly but surely and Christie ends up killing off almost all of the police officers that blasted Black Ninja that day. Note I said almost… that’s because she also finds the time to fall in love with one of those cops, Secord (Jordan Bennett).

Anyway, another ninja named Yamada (Sho Kosugi) shows up and figures out that Christie is possessed by that dastardly Black Ninja. He spews some wise proverbs along the lines of “Only a ninja can kill a ninja” and is determined to rid Christie of Black Ninja’s spirit.

What’s Good About This Movie?

Honestly, this isn’t a good movie, even with Sho Kosugi being in it. That doesn’t prevent it from being a guilty pleasure or one of thosegreat movies to watch while stoned.

What’s Bad About This Movie?

Pretty much everything. Prior to starring in this film, Lucinda Dickey had appeared in a couple of movies capitalizing on the breakdancing craze of the 80s. While I might have thought that breakdancing and ninjas together in a movie was cool at 10 years old, at 29 years old, it just seems absolutely mind-boggling.

Plus, there are just too many laughable scenes in this film. Among them include the following:

  • The cops surrounding Black Ninja in a circle and blasting him with their guns. Perhaps these cops were of the bulletproof kind but I think I’d be kinda hurt by crossfire if I was part of a shooting circle.
  • The fact that, after being shot full of lead, Black Ninja still manages to have his limbs intact and can still stand is amazing. What were the cops shooting him with? Potato guns?
  • The sex scene between Christie and Secord borders on fetish – V8 down a semi-naked body isn’t a turn on unless you’re Nosferatu. And poor Secord… you’d think that maybe the guy could have shaved that back of his just a bit.
  • This film also played up a lot of that mystical ninja crap that was so prevalent in these 80s films. I remember I was at a school trip to the Japanese Embassy and one moron kid asked the guide if ninjas could really transfer their sprits to other hosts and, if so, where could he find one? The guide just shook his head and replied, “Go climb a pole. I’m sure he’ll find you.”

Conclusion

Absolute trash where the only redeeming quality is the fact that Sho Kosugi is in it… and everybody knows that Sho is the baddest ninja out there!

But that one line that he says still resonates with me…”Only a ninja can kill a ninja”. Well, bullets certainly didn’t do the trick but really bad ninja movies like this one certainly hastened it.

Owlman’s Rating: 2/10

Posted in Asian Related, Ninja, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Knock-Off (1998) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Knock-Off" American Theatrical Poster

“Knock-Off” American Theatrical Poster

AKA: Knock Off
Director: Tsui Hark
Writer: Steven E. De Souza
Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Rob Schneider, Lela Rochon, Paul Sorvino, Carman Lee Yeuk-tung, Wyman Wong, Glen Chin, Michael Wong, Moses Chan
Running Time: 90 min.

By Alexander

Usually when I answer the phone in the other room I quickly press pause on the remote fearful I’ll miss a vital piece of dialogue or important plot twist in whatever movie is spinning wildly in my DVD player. Yet when my wife called me halfway through “Knock Off” the other night I not only left the film running, but was hoping the movie had ended in the few minutes I was away. No such luck. When I lazily crawled back onto the futon Jean Claude Van Damme and Rob Schneider were still wackily interacting; Michael Wong and Lela Rochon still looked embarrassed; and Russian mobsters were still trying to commit some heinous crime involving plastic dolls and bad dubbing.

Sure, I could have stopped the DVD and resume watching Spanish language videos on L.A. T.V., but then I wouldn’t have felt comfortable submitting a review to cityonfire.com on a film I hadn’t watched all the way through. This is all you need to know about “Knock Off”: There is one scene early in the film that features Van Damme, clad in knock-off “Pumma” sneakers, competing in an illegal high-stakes rickshaw race. He’s pulling bug-eyed Rob Schneider through the streets of Hong Kong desperate to reach the finish line before his midget-pulling rival. Russian mobsters intervene and Carmen Lee gets hit in the head by a can of something tossed by Rob Schneider. Har har.

Alexander’s Rating: 3.5/10

By Yates

This film is cooler than it should be. When I rented this I didn’t expect much. Maybe that is why I liked it so much. No, this movie is no masterpiece, but it is quite enjoyable, due to great direction (Tsui Hark is the man) and well done action scenes. The leads aren’t bad (Even Van Damme ain’t too bad), but all of the extras and bit characters suck ass. Michael Wong has great screen presence as always and thankfully doesn’t have much dialogue.

The action scenes are for the most part very inventive and well choreographed. What makes this film better than most of it’s kind is Tsui Hark’s direction. The camera seems to always be moving, and there are some strange as hell POV shots (a foot going into a shoe, a throat being cut as seen from inside the throat, etc.). This movie really has the feel of an HK film. But the best thing about the film isn’t the direction, the action, Michael Wong. It’s the fact that Dennis Rodman is not in it. Oh yeah, you gotta love those Pummas! Recommended.

Yates’ Rating: 8/10

By James H.

It’s a general rule to be skeptical with every Van Damme movie on the shelf. Even his legitimate looking movies (“Hard Target”, “Maximum Risk”) aren’t sure things. “Knock Off” is Van Damme’s first truly entertaining film.

Van Damme plays a Hong Kong fashion dealer, who gets mixed up in all sorts of trouble. He and his business partner (Rob Schnieder) are coaxed into helping the CIA take down a group of knock off artists. The paper thin plot does all that it needs to. It doesn’t pretend to be anything more than a clothesline for action scenes and some bad (and some good) jokes.

The story is admittedly, rather stale and by-the-numbers. What keeps it interesting is Steven E. DeSouza’a script. There are some interesting situations and moments of creativity.

What pushed “Knock Off” above the mark is Tsui Hark’s excellent and competent direction. The action is top-of-the-line. Hark’s action scenes usually seem like John Woo Lite (if you don’t believe or agree with me, watch “A Better Tomorrow III”). In “Knock Off” they take a whole new spin. The film is directed with more style than you can shake a stick at. It is easily one of the most visually impressive American action movies of the last five years.

James H’s Rating: 7.5/10

By S!DM

Bad Script. Horrible. Atrocious. Wickedly awful dubbing. “A-movie” gone “B.” Good, arty direction. – Unfortunately, all of the above describe this movie. Oh wait, how did the last one slip in there? By Tsui Hark, that’s how. Sadly, the direction is the only semi-redeeming factor of this movie, appropriately named “Knock-off,” because it succeeds in knocking-off almost every action film of recent times. Not to waste too much space on this review, I will describe the plot in ten words or less: Van Damme rips off jeans, gets caught, gets chased. That’s the whole plot, and I even fluffed it a little bit.

One thing that bugs me is the presence of Rob Schneider, the hilariously UNfunny Billy Crystal wannabe that makes guest appearances in Adam Sandler’s overrated garbage. Why is he in this movie? He is not funny in this movie! Why do we need him when the dialogue is so unintentionally laughable and disappointing? Good question.

Tsui Hark must have felt sorry for a potentially great action star, and decided to help him out again. He saves this movie from becoming a total bomb. Van Damme is actually pretty good here, and if the movie took away all the distracting “humor” and “acting” and the rest of the “supporting” characters, this movie would have been a good 3-star action flick. Too bad. Good premise, but bad script. Aside from that, the action scenes are directed by Sammo Hung, but none of the fight scenes last longer than 15 seconds! Too bad.

Anyway, Michael F. Wong seems to be the best thing in the movie, and you know that when this happens, you better stay away.

S!DM’s Rating: 5/10

By Amir

Although this highly entertaining film was produced by the powers in Hollywood and scripted by Stephen de Souza, the writer of Die Hard (one of the coolest America action pictures of all time), Knock Off is without a doubt a pure Hong Kong effort. Its cleverly directed by Hong Kong King Tsui Hark. The director’s camera and unique style of editing moves the action along fast. The choreography, designed with the help of Samo Hung contains some of the most stylish movements captured in a long time. The dialogue is horrendously dubbed, giving it the feel of an old style chop-socky flick, which makes Knock Off an instant cult classic, one that will gather more following and be remembered as one of Van Damme’s most unusual and undoubtedly best film. Speaking of the star, Van Damme makes one great HK action star; he flips, kicks, and chews off bad dialogue with style and confidence.

On its theatrical release, Knock Off was ignored by both the critics and audiences alike, even more surprisingly, the fans of HK cinema also viewed the film negatively. Obviously, the film flew over their heads faster than Hark’s camera movements. Those who expected Lethal Weapon or Tango and Cash were disappointed, and those who wanted the pure HK film felt betrayed by the casting of Van Damme. Moreover, it seems that no one got the idea behind the film, Knock Off is truly a knock off, its low budget credits, awful special effects, laughable plot, and every other aspect of its cheese-like-value is part of its charm, it’s the soul of the film, and it makes the whole experience fun.

Knock Off is an exciting surprise, and a must see for every HK/Kung Fu fanatic. Like other films that first went unnoticed (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) but later gained respect for their originality, Knock Off should receive another chance and be recognized not for what it should have been, but for what it is: One freaky/messed up/furious mother of a movie.

Amir’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , |

In Hell | aka The Savage (2003) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"In Hell" Japanese DVD Cover

“In Hell” Japanese DVD Cover

AKA: The Shu
Director: Ringo Lam
Cast: Michael Bailey Smith, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Marnie Alton, Assen Blatechki
Running Time: 96 min.

By Reefer

Holding a copy of Ringo Lam/Jean-claude Van Damme’s straight to video In Hell in my hand at the video store, I had the same thought that most action movie fans had who wasted money, time, and brain cells on their previous collaborations. Why has Ringo Lam subjected himself, his career, and his fans to mindless tripe starring the JCVD?

My presumptions, then, proceeded to melt away after the first five minutes of this fascinating attempt at transforming the “Muscles from Brussels” into an honest-to-god actor. Nowhere in this film is the flex’n pecks attitude of Van Damme’s early career or the heavy-handed dopeyness of his more recent outings. With his tragic demeanor and bad haircut, this is a very different guy.

The film opens with Kyle (Van Damme) having a conversation with his wife on his way home. Suddenly he hears her scream and realizes that she is under attack by an intruder. In a brilliantly intense action sequence, we see him speeding home while his wife fights for her life. Kyle discovers his wife fatally stabbed, but the killer still lurks within the house. So the fight is on. Here is where the viewer first understands that this will be a different experience for Kickboxer or Bloodsport. There are no slow motion scissor kicks or fancy movements. Just brutal, grounded, desperate action.

And that desperation never stops. This is a very bleak film, showing the brutality of a world without justice. Kyle is eventually sent to prison for exacting revenge in the name of his wife. A horrible place. A place where fights are set up by prison officials for fun and profit. A place where young men are ushered to an empty room in order to be raped by the “champion” as some kind of sick reward. Ringo Lam’s rendering of prison life is an unflinching and humorless exercise in barbarism and self hate. And Van Damme’s acting as Kyle really deserves some recognition because he doesn’t play him flashy or as some kind of vibrant martyr of justice. Kyle closes himself off. You can’t get into his head. Van Damme conveys this and all of the character’s feelings with only about 5 minutes of dialogue in the whole film. Don’t get me wrong. He is not deserving of an Oscar nod or anything, but this is a considerable step for a guy who routinely attempted character development by taking off his shirt.

It’s unfortunate that In Hell offers us such a half-hearted Shawshank-type ending. It tries to be inspiring, but comes off like the filmmakers really didn’t know where to go with it. One of the film’s strangest missteps includes a supporting role by none other than former pro football linebacker Laurence Taylor as a advice spouting Green Mile-type mountain of muscle who defies the prison officials by refusing to fight. I think he was meant to be a source of inspiration for Kyle but his motives are murky at best.

I must say that its refreshing to speak well of a Jean Claude Van Damme film for once. Sorta vindicates me for all the times I thought I would give him another shot but ultimately paid for it by witnessing films like Double Team or The Order or Desert Heat etc. I hope this is an example of Van Damme wisely submitting to the vision of a director and sacrificing for the sake of art instead of a man hanging by a thread professionally and personally. Who knows? This very well could be the beginning of something great.

Reefer’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in All, Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged , |

Kids Return (1996) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Kids Return" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Kids Return" Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Takeshi Kitano
Writer: Takeshi Kitano
Producers: Masayuki Mori, Yasushi Tsuge, Takio Yoshida
Cast: Masanobu Ando, Ken Kaneko, Leo Morimoto, Hatsuo Yamaya, Mitsuko Oka, Ryo Ishibashi, Susumu Terajima, Koichi Shigehisa, Michisuke Kashiwaya, Yuko Daike, Atsuki Ueda, Ren Osugi, Masami Shimojoe
Running Time: 108 min.

By Equinox21

Kids Return was not even close to being my favorite Takeshi Kitano movie, but it wasn’t bad in the least. It didn’t really even feel as much like a Kitano movie as one might expect, because there’s much more dialogue and much more happens as opposed to an almost minimalist style of film-making (like his others).

The plot follows two friends in high school, Masaru and Shinji, who are slackers and bullies. They’re going nowhere with their lives and donât ever study. Getting beat up motivates Masaru to take up boxing, and convinces Shinji to do the same. As Shinji gets better at it, Masaru quits school and boxing to join the Yakuza. The movie follows them for a few years as Shinji gets better and better at boxing and Masaru gets higher and higher in Yakuza ranks, and they grow further apart.

This movie seemed to me to involve lots of familiarity and then almost inevitable changes to that which the characters (and through them, us) find familiar. A number of restaurant scenes in which the same things happen repeatedly, but then one day change, is an example of this. Shinji’s training regimen is another example. He runs the same places every day, trains the same way, but then one day it is changed due to circumstances that are a somewhat key part of the plot (which I won’t spoil).

I did notice that this movie employs a theme that Kitano seems to use in a couple of his other movies. Without giving anything away, I’ll simply state it as being the rise and fall of characters in their particular focuses. Think Brother with the rise and fall of the gang in LA and Scene at the Sea with the rise and fall of Shigeru in his surfing career. It’s not as drastic in Kids Return, but is still fairly prominent and in perfect fitting with the title of the film.

This is yet another great Kitano film with a terrific Hisaishi score. You’d be wise to check it out if you like Kitano’s films at all.

Equinox21’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , , |

Crows Zero | aka Crows 0 (2007) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Crows Zero" International Theatrical Poster

"Crows Zero" International Theatrical Poster

AKA: Crows: Episode 0
Director: Takashi Miike
Producer: Mataichiro Yamamoto
Cast: Shun Oguri, Kyosuke Yabe, Takayuki Yamada, Shunsuke Daito, Meisa Kuroki, Tsutomu Takahashi, Goro Kishitani
Running Time: 131 min.

By Ningen

A new kid in town named Genji enrolls in a “bad” school where he meets a thug named Tamao who runs the place. Aspiring to head his own yanki[Japanese JD] empire, in order to impress his yakuza pop, Genji challenges Tamao for his position. However, since he’s up against a formidable army, he has to beat and win over the factions under Tamao’s control, in order to have some back-up for his final match. Whether by fist or communication, Genji slowly builds his own army against Tamao.

Based on a manga, Crows Zero will appeal to people looking for the school-yard fight equivalent to 300. While that’s not the only thing going on in the movie, that pretty much sums up what you can expect. Genji does have a potential love interest whose girlfriends he tries to use to win over one of his rivals. But she’s mostly there for the bad, but “motivational”, country hip-hop montage. Otherwise, she’s just the obligatory comic relief and eye candy in a sea of sausage. Genji also has a “confidante” in the form of a Barney Fife-like yakuza who’s trying to re-live his youth through Genji while trying to stop a war between his “family” and Genji’s “family”. Ken also teaches Kenji what it takes to be an Alpha Male.

While I generally enjoy the laguid direction of Crows Zero, it suffers from too many supporting characters and subplots. Each different yanki punk has different motivations for their actions. And while that does give some depth to the overall story, it also takes away the impact from the beat-downs, since the focus tends to shift to other issues, such as Tamao’s buddy being in the hospital. I know the whole point of the movie is to suggest that there’s more to life than being Top Dog, but the ending which segues into the inevitable sequel undermines that argument, since Genji still continues to spar with others.

So the real glue which holds the movie together is the metal soundtrack which sounds like a Japanese imitation of the South Park guys’ musical parodies played straight. The rock basically sums up how the characters feel, so they don’t have to do it themselves, and they can just get to the bruising. The fights themselves range from brutal to absurdly melodramatic. Every (stereo)type of Japanese gang is thrown into the mix, and they basically just pound away at each other, usually as dirtily as possible. It does get boring after a while, but it doesn’t lose its impact. I just wish the action was a bit faster, and less “busy” with all the extras on-screen. But if you need a “leave your brain at the door” flick, you can’t grow wrong with Crows Zero.

Ningen’s Rating: 8/10 for the small fights, 6.5/10 for the big fights, 6/10 for the pointless side-stories, and 7.5/10 for the overall entertainment value

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

City of Lost Souls, The | aka The Hazard City (2000) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The City of Lost Souls" International Theatrical Poster

“The City of Lost Souls” International Theatrical Poster

AKA: The City of Strangers
Director: Takashi Miike
Cast: Teah, Michelle Reis, Patricia Manterola, Mitsuhiro Oikawa, Koji Kikkawa, Ren Osugi, Akaji Maro, Anatoli Krasnov, Sebastian DeVicente, Terence Yin, Atsushi Okuno, Akira Emoto, Eugene Nomura
Running Time: 99 min.

By Joe909

Tarantino haters take note: Asian cinema is now ripping-off your whipping boy. QT is always scorned for “lifting” scenes, images, and plots from Asian action movies; now that same scorn can be directed back at the East. Of course, the QT bashers will never do this; in their hypocrisy they’ll just say that Tarantino’s getting what he deserves, or they’ll go to absurd lengths to explain away any and all similarities between these movies and his.

I present to you City of Lost Souls, aka Hazard City, which not only plot-wise is a direct lift of QT’s superior “True Romance,” but also is nearly a scene-by-scene reconstruction of the film. However, whereas the two leads in “True Romance” are likeable, down-and-outers who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, the male and female leads in Hazard City (Teah as Mario, and Michelle Reis looking fantastic as Kei) are too cool for words, and willingly put themselves in dangerous positions.

Like “True Romance,” these two share a wild and crazy love, and will go to great lengths for each other. There’s also the requisite goons and gangsters whom they interact with, and the old steal-a-bag-that-turns-out-to-contain-a-shitload-of-cocaine gag. Just like Clarence and Alabama, Mario and Kei decide to sell the coke and make off to a better life. As in both films, things don’t go as planned.

The most obvious filmic theft in City of Lost Souls occurs during a standoff between a pair of yakuza thugs and a group of Chinese triads. The triad boss relates a story about how the Chinese tried to educate an “island of monkeys in the East” in the ways of the Chinese, but the “monkeys,” (aka the Japanese) just couldn’t get it. This story causes both parties to laugh crazily, before guns are drawn. A bullseye rip-off of the infamous scene between Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper in “True Romance.” It’s just not as good here, or as effective.

But beyond all the nit-picking, City of Lost Souls isn’t so bad a movie. It has a modern-day fairy tale quality (jumping safely out of helicopters without parachutes, magical tattoos), just like “True Romance” did (woops, there’s another comparison); but TR got it right by living up to that fairy tale aspect and giving us a happy ending (in the film, at least, but also bear in mind that in QT’s script, Alabama survived). City of Lost Souls goes the downer route, which is just becoming tired and outdated these days. I don’t know why so many screenwriters think it’s “shocking” and “unique” to kill off main characters in the last act. I guess they think it will make them seem like original filmmakers. It doesn’t.

That being said, there are some cool moments in this movie. The CGI cockfight is so stupid it’s great, and the many action scenes are slick and well-made. Unfortunately, they just don’t last very long, and the actor playing Mario doesn’t look comfortable holding a gun. He’s got the look and the attitude, but he just can’t carry it off. Michelle Reis, however, is pure badass, and the part where she lights some poor sap on fire is probably the film’s highlight.

There are several gunfights (one of which ends with an unexpected game of ping-pong), old-fashioned beatdowns aplenty, and a few one-liners. There’s also a cool bit of caprioera, as several Brazilians try to take out Mario, but director Miike cops out by not letting us see the fight itself. I wouldn’t consider City of Lost Souls to be a straight-up action film, though. It’s more of a post-modern “offbeat gangster” sort of flick, with a mishmash of languages and the occasional, grotesque image. This is of course required, this being a Japanese film; I think it’s written somewhere that all Japanese movies must have at least one gross-out factor. In the case of City of Lost Souls, it’s a few pieces of shit floating in a toilet as some guy gets his head dunked in. Scatology for the sake of scatology, it’s totally unnecessary.

A last word: the Hong Kong dvd release is one of those “Side A” and “Side B” deals. This means that once you get halfway through the movie, you have to flip the disc over and continue watching. It’s like regressing back to the days of laserdiscs, and it annoys the hell out of me.

Joe909’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Loonieweed

City of Lost Souls was my first venture into the crazy and fucked up mind of Takashi Miike. After hearing so much about the guy for such a long time, I was eagerly excited to check out one of his films; although, IMO, I was somewhat let down with the film, but I knew there would be a lot more to see from Miike. Granted, nothing beats the midget overdosing on the bench, the odd POV shot inside of a toilet, jumping out of a helicopter and surviving, and of course, two guys hanging out and falling in love. Awww, isn’t that sweet? While the film was entertaining, I was expecting more after hearing about Ichi, Audition, and of course, the DOA trilogy. It’s not to say anybody else will hate CoLS, just make sure you don’t watch it thinking you’ll experience something along the lines of Ichi The Killer. Just think of CoLS as True Romance Lite, minus Elvis fucking and Gary Oldman.

Loonieweed’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Audition (1999) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Audition" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Audition” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Takashi Miike
Cast: Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina, Miyuki Matsuda, Renji Ishibashi, Tetsu Sawaki, Jun Kunimura, Toshie Negishi, Ken Mitsuishi, Ren Ohsugi
Running Time: 115 min.

By Alexander

Takashi Miike’s Audition scared the hell out of me. Even though I figured out the “twist” early in the film, and I knew exactly where the story was headed, I was still unprepared for a handful of its shocking scenes and revelations. Three-fingered hands, man-dogs, dismembered tongues, razor wire, oral sex and a plethora of other fucked-up details left me wishing I’d saved Audition for the next afternoon. (A BRIGHT afternoon with plenty of sunlight streaming though my windows, birds chirping a happy song and the sounds of… lawnmowers or something in the background. Y’know, for comfort.)

I’d recommend Audition because of the scares alone. While above I may have sounded like a complete pussy, I actually do have a high tolerance for horror and gore. And while Audition isn’t one of the most violent movies I’ve ever seen, it’s certainly one of the creepiest and atmospheric.

However, what truly makes Audition a classic of the genre are the performances of Ryu Ishibashi (as Ryo) and Miyaki Matsuda (as Eihi). Both offer nuanced, believable performances. (I say “believable” because it’s necessary the audience believe Ryu would fall for Eihi; that he would pursue her despite his rational nature and the many hints that the object of his desires isn’t as demure and marriage-worthy as he initially believes. She’s plenty fucked-up, y’all.) Because of the recent spate of Hollywood remakes of Asian films, I’ve gotten into the habit of imagining which American actors would best suit the roles of their Asian counterparts. Ishibashi and Matsuda are so convincing in their parts, that I couldn’t think of anyone, from television or film, who could capture the characters quite the way these two do. Brilliant.

Alexander’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Dragon Ma

Seriously, I’m at a loss for words to describe this film, I’d heard about being very slow and that it’s better going into it without knowing much about it. I think that works in the film’s favour because the first moves very slowly and it takes forever to go anywhere but in a way you get a feel for the characters and in a film like this, that’s essential. For the first half, this film moves along like it’s a drama with nothing much happening and then Miike slaps you in the face, although, to be fair, he drops hints here and there but nothing to prepare you for what’s coming.

For those unfamiliar, Ryo Ishibashi plays Aoyama a producer who, after the death of his wife decides to have an audition to find a replacement. Now that idea doesn’t put Aoyama in a very favorable light but he’s not totally in love with the idea but and it’s his partner who manages to convince him but it still seems very manipulative. I won’t say anything more than that. Now, I don’t mean to spoil anything, so if you haven’t seen it, stop reading, go and watch it, come back and continue reading.

HOLY SHIT, Miike really kicks you in the nuts in the second half, the torture scene in the living room is probably the most gut-wrenching scene I’ve ever seen, I was literally sweating and I wondered if Miike was going to leave you clutching your nuts or deliver another swift kick.

Dragon Ma’s Rating: 9/10

By Woody

Takashi Miike’s cinematic “fuck you” to the audience succeeds brilliantly in shattering audience expectations, and will leave you either in awe or in utter disgust. Or, as it was in my case, both. But that’s the point, isn’t it?

The plot is simple. Ryo Ishibashi is a middle aged widower with a nice teenage son. Lonely, and with prodding from his son, Ryo tells a producer friend he wants to find a wife. The producer decides that they will hold a fake film audition. Ryo is immediately smitten with the stunning and angelic former dancer Eihi Shiina. After the audition, Ryo and Eihi go on dates. Everything might just work out for the two. But lest we not forget, this is a Takashi Miike film.

The performances, cinematography, direction, all of that is good and dandy. Eihi Shiina is chilling and beautiful. Ryo Ishibashi is a great everyman hero. The cinematography is wonderful. The direction is brilliant.

I loved this movie. It fucked me up. When I let friends borrow it, it fucks them up. It is right up there with “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer” and “The Untold Story” in the pantheon of fucked up, unforgettable movies you just can’t forget.

There isn’t too much I can say without giving it all away. I don’t want to be like other reviewers, who have ruined it for so many others. All I can say is, be prepared. This movie will get to you.

Takashi Miike is a madman. Don’t believe me? Watch this on a triple bill with “Ichii The Killer” and “Visitor Q”.

deeper…deeper…deeper…

Woody’s Rating: 10/10

By Len

In a perfect world, people would see this film without hearing anything of it beforehand. I can only imagine the emotional impact this movie might have to people who haven’t heard of this before going to the cinema. So if you haven’t seen this one yet, please stop reading this review now and go watch this film.

Now, on with the actual review (spoilers ahead, but I tried to reveal as little as possible about the twists and turns of the story), this movie is utterly sick. I don’t consider myself to be particulary squeamish, but the finale in Audition made me feel somewhat ill. I had heard much of this film, mainly praises on how this movie manages to shock people who aren’t prepared for it. So unfortunately, I knew pretty much what to expect. Even if I hadn’t heard anything, the back of the DVD case (Universe, Region3) spoiled the ending for me with it’s amusing plot synopsis:

“But he just can’t imagine that this woman, looking innocent, is a horrible and bloody maniac instead. He has never been that scaring and painful…”

So yeah, I was prepared for the bloodbath in the ending. But what surprised me was the sadistic nature of the violence as it was very unlike anything I had seen in a horror film previously. There’s something very disturbing about a scene where the lovely Shiina Eihi happily does some DYI piercing on the main character while slowly humming “Kiri-Kiri-Kiri”, inserting needles on his face. And if that wasn’t enough, it’s followed by a scene of amputation with a steel wire. Service with a smile indeed.

Anyways, enough of the horrible things happening in the film. The main idea of the film is rather simple. A middle aged Japanese film exec wants to get remarried and the perfect girl turns out to be a sadistic psychopath.

Combining a tender romantic tale with Lynchian dream sequences and a dose of sadistic violence in the finale, Audition is kept together by the clever direction of Takeshi Miike. In the beginning, the film seems almost like a Japanese version of a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan lovestory, until it suddenly starts being more like a psychological horror story that comes to a shocking conclusion. I’m not planning on seeing this again anytime soon, but I have to admit that this film is definately worth seeing once. Infact, I would call this film somewhat a must-see, due to this being something that most people haven’t seen before.

Oh, and the ending rocks. Very much. Hollywood slashers could learn a thing or two from it.

Len’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

Brother (2000) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Brother" International Theatrical Poster

“Brother” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Takeshi Kitano
Cast: Takeshi Kitano, Omar Epps, Kuroudo Maki, Masaya Kato, Susumu Terajima, Royale Watkins, Lombardo Boyar, Ren Osugi, Ryo Ishibashi, James Shigeta
Running Time: 114 min.

By Woody

Ignore the critics, this is a great flick. One of Kitano’s best? That’s hard to say. Almost any film pales in comparison to classics like “Hana-bi” and “Sonatine”. Maybe it was my lowered expectations, but I really loved this one.

In “Brother”, Beat Takeshi plays a yakuza who is forced to join his younger brother in Los Angeles when it is apparent that a war is going to break out. When he arrives, he learns that his brother has dropped out of school and is now pushing drugs with some buddies. After some initial anger, Takeshi decides to help his brother and his buddies in taking down LA’s other suppliers in order to build a successful criminal organization.

Like all of Kitano’s crime movies, the focus of this film is not on action. The focus here is on the little things. A game of basketball between Japanese and American gangsters. A football game on the beach. A dice game between Kitano and his brother’s friend. A paper airplane gliding between two buildings. A punch in the stomach from a disappointed older brother. The look on the face of a young man witnessing his first murder. Lesser directors would emphasize the bloodier moments, and while there are plenty (and I mean plenty) violent, bloody moments in the film, they take a backseat to observation and the comparing of Eastern and Western ways.

Kitano also shows that he hasn’t lost his knack for creating likable characters with the minimum amount of dialogue possible. He also has a large cast in this one, with a lot of small characters. Both those factors could potentially make it pretty hard to comment on the performances, but if there is one thing Kitano knows how to do, it is to create a likable cast. Kitano is great, playing in his usual quiet, understated style. Omar Epps, who has the biggest non-Japanese performance here, is very good, and the relationship between his character, Denny, and Kitano’s, Aniki, is fun to watch and believable. All of the supporting actors are pretty good, too, and it’s nice to see Claude Maki in another Kitano film (he was the star of Kitano’s seminal “A Scene at the Sea”).

It is also worth mentioning the score of the film, which is very nice (as is usually the case in a Kitano film). It consists mostly of laid back jazz, which perfectly compliments this laid back movie. Only Kitano can make a bloody, violent crime movie and still give it a laid back feeling.

In conclusion, this is one to own. A laid-back, thoughtful East Meets West crime flick with great acting and virtually no stereotypes. Kitano is one of the great living directors, and hopefully this film will get him more recognition in the western hemisphere. It gets my fullest recommendation.

Woody’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Tequila

Weeeeeeelll then, Kitano eh? Everybody’s favourite stand up comic/journalist/sadistic gameshow host/artist/actor returns in what I believe is his ninth directed film, but I could (read: probably am) be wrong.

Brother came out in 2000, but has only just been released in some territories (i.e. USA which is surprising seeing half of it was filmed in LA and it has US actors in it) and has been rated as “the worst Kitano movie” by a lot of people. But fuck that opinion. It may well be the worst Beat Takeshi flick, but it’s still bloody brilliant and I don’t mean that “bloody” as just a way of getting my point across.

Brother follows disgraced Yakuza Yamamoto (Kitano), known as Aniki (big brother) for most of the film to LA where he plans to meet his little brother whom he sent to America many years ago when they left their orphanage. Thing is, while Aniki is a big-time Yakuza, his lil’ bro is a small time drug dealer working for Mexicans in his black/latino/japanese gang. The comic relief that crops up in almost all Kitano movies is here in it’s usual dark form – for example how Aniki introduces himself to Denny (Omar Epps): Denny tries to scam Aniki by walking into him and dropping a bottle of wine before claiming it cost $200. Aniki calmly bends down and picks up the broken bottle…and stabs Denny in the eye with it, before giving him some knuckles to the belly.

The violence is pretty damn graphic and you see intestines, severed fingers and heads and several stabbings and shootings and the acting is usual Kitano: excellent, although some of the support is nothing special. The story is gripping and the action is very quick and noisy and will probably make you jump a few times.

Overall, I would say that Kitano’s aim of getting a Yakuza-style movie into the American mainstream has failed as it is certain of an NC-17 certificate if not higher in it’s uncut form and it is too arty for it to be a hit. If compared to a HK movie, I’d say that the movie plays out like The Longest Nite with more violence and less stylish moments (i.e. the mirrors gunfight).

Still, see it, it’s unBeatable (groan).

Tequila’s Rating: 9/10 – A great addition to the black comedy crime drama genre

Posted in Asian Related, Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

No Blood No Tears (2002) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"No Blood No Tears" Korean Theatrical Poster

“No Blood No Tears” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Ryoo Seung-wan
Cast: Jeon Do-Yeon, Lee Hye-Young, Jung Jae-Young, Shin Goo, Jung Doo-Hong, Kim Yeong-In, Baek Chan-Ki, Lee Yeoung-Hu, Ryoo Seung-Bum, Kim Soo-Hyun
Running Time: 116 min.

By Dragon Ma

I managed to watch this last night and and it came as complete surprise, I’d heard good things about this film, although mostly people compared it to films like ‘Snatch’ and ‘Pulp Fiction’. The film definitely retains the same style as ‘Snatch’ but somehow weaves it’s own charm. For those who haven’t seen it I’ll lay it out for you:

Kyong-Son is an ex-female gangster, all washed up and left driving a taxi after being left high and dry by her ex-husband, she’s also saddled with the debt he owes to some gangsters. Soo-Jin wants to be a singer in Japan but she’s stuck with an abusive boyfriend who regularly beats her when he either gets drunk or just generally feels like it. Soo-Jin and Kyong-Son meet after crashing in a street. Soo-Jin’s boyfriend runs an illegal dogfight ring but he has plans to make a big score with an a boxing match. Soo-Jin decides to rip him and enlists Kyong-son to help her.

Now there’s more but the story jumps around a lot and there are many characters but each character plays a role, there are no throwaway characters in this film. This film exudes style like there’s no tomorrow, it makes no apologies for it’s roots in pulp noir. The one thing that did jump out at me was the level of violence in this film, there’s no cartoon violence here, it’s real and it’s brutal. There’s a fight at the end involving both women a guy and it’s almost painful to watch because really get hit HARD, they don’t simply get slapped, they get majorly f***** up. I have to give it up for both of the lead actresses in this film, they’re both superb, Lee Hye Young for her world weariness and toughness. Jeon do Heong as Soo-Jin takes what seems like a shallow role and turns it into something of substance.

I won’t say this film is perfect, some of the fight scenes are choppy and it’s very difficult to tell what’s going on. It does move at a slow pace and it’s relentlessly brutal. Sometimes it does look like the director was showing off with slow motion shots and computer effects to enhance some of the fight scenes. All this is fairly minor and it’s still a fun little film despite how brutal it can be.

I also have to say this film has one of the best badasses I’ve seen in awhile. He doesn’t have a word of dialogue but he’s the best Jet Li style badass I’ve seen in ages, he even wears a tunic like Jet did in FOL. He’s played by Jung Du Hong who also did stuntwork/fight choreography for Musa and he’s THE premiere korean fight choreographer. After seeing his work here, I’m impressed, he seems to favor impact and realism rather than making it look pretty. He kicks major ass in this film.

That said, it’s a great little crime film, there are plenty of twists that aren’t telegraphed and the two women are great, what more could you want.

Dragon Ma’s Rating: 9/10

By Equinox21

A less appropriate name for a movie I have never heard. Not that this is the bloodiest movie made, far from it, just that every character bleeds somehow at some point in this movie. Perhaps they should have just called it No Tears, but that just wouldn’t have sounded as cool. And “cool” is a word that really does describe NBNT. I award an A- for style to this one, losing a bit for the fight between Dok-Bul (Jae-yeong Jeong [the guy who plays the ultra-cool sniper in Guns & Talks to damn near perfection]) and the Silent Man (Doo-hong Jung). The fight wasn’t bad, except that a good part of it was shot far too close up and edited too choppy, too Hollywood, so that you couldn’t see all that was going on. This was minor, as most of the rest of the fights (and there were plenty of them) were superbly choreographed and looked amazing. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a martial arts film (though there were elements of martial arts in some of the fights as Doo-hong Jung is a martial artist who did the martial arts direction for Musa); the fighting more resembled Fight Club than anything. The style element also comes from a very strong “Ritchie-esque” story. Think Snatch, without the comedy but with all the style.

The story is really about two women, Su-ji (Do-yeon Jeon) and Kyeong-seon (Hye-yeong Lee), who meet by accident (literally, a car accident), who end up working together to steal money from Su-Ji’s abusive boyfriend. There’s more than enough lying, cheating, backstabbing and good, old fashioned violence to keep everyone interested. Like any good movie, there are no real “bad guys” or “good guys”, only shades of gray. Everyone in the movie has a sordid past and their own motives for their actions. Plus there’s a nice catfight, which is never a bad thing.

No Blood No Tears, despite the highly misleading title, is a very cool movie. I’d recommend it to anyone who liked Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance or Snatch.

Equinox21’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Boiling Point (1990) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Boiling Point" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Boiling Point” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Takeshi Kitano
Cast: Masahiko Ono, Yuriko Ishida, Takahito Iguchi, Minoru Iizuka, Makoto Ashikawa, Hisashi Igawa, Bengal, Johnny Ohkura, Katsuo Tokashiki, Takeshi Kitano
Running Time: 98 min.

By The Reviewer With No Name

Boiling Point seems to be one of the lesser liked/known of films in Kitano’s filmography (It’s actually the last Kitano film I’ve seen so far besides Dolls and Zatoichi), that I can’t really understand. Most people just see Brother, Sonatine or Hana Bi first and then move onto his other works like Kikujiro, A Scene at the Sea and Violent Cop then eventually sit through Getting Any?. Most regard Violent Cop as the basis of how Takeshi came to have such a subtle laid back style in his movies. Well, I think they’re half wrong and half right. Boiling Point is more experimental then Violent Cop in terms of characters, direction, acting, plot, humor and even violence whereas Violent Cop was more like the experimental showcase for Takeshi’s style of violence and dark humor. But Violent Cop was partly done with the cast and most of the script, I like to think of it this way. When you’re asked to finish half of a puzzle that’s already completed is like how Takeshi came to make Violent Cop. But when Takeshi tried to make the puzzle himself with this film. Hense why Violent Cop felt more full-on with the characters and story.

There’s a lot of negatives in this film but I’ll touch opon those a bit later on. But now, I’ll rant about the good things and I’ll stop the Violent Cop to Boiling Point comparisons.

I’ll go on about the story and plot before I get to that. Masaki’s a slacker-type individual whose character really goes nowhere in the film. He’s kinda depressing to look at in some scenes where he basically never reacts to anything that goes on around him. The story itself is something you can tell someone about a friend of a friend of a friend of yours who got into some kinda trouble with a gang, then sorted it out with unnecessary ideas or plans, that’s basically it. IN between the weak but on-going story is a bunch of events and situations that take place in the film, some of which not involving ANY of the main characters at all. They’re funny situations but have no real place in the film itself. The second half of the film is completely different then the first half really. Only two main characters really go on to Okinawa in search of a gun. And that’s Dankan and Masaki really. The subplot is Uehara’s method of revenge against the yakuza who want HIM dead. He plot veers away from the actual story again with Uehara’s story.

A great positive about the film is that it’s totally unpredictable. I mean the plot veers away from the actual story for the first 45 minutes. The main incident occurs about 15 minutes in and a few others regarding the plot and story but that’s basically it. Just the main character Masaki sitting back and watching many different incidents occur within his eyes. The film is downright hilarious, it may be the second funniest film Kitano’s ever made that’s above Kikujiro and below Sonatine. The characters are your typical stereotypes/jerks but they have some kinda charm that makes you laugh. Especially the ex-yakuza baseball coach Iguchi, whom of which takes shit from NO ONE, not even the yakuza gang Masaki goes up against. He’s the second most badass character in this film then Kitano himself. He looks like an easy going fellow at first, but then you dig into his character and you see him for what he really is. A jerk. Like the one scene where he beats a yakuza named Muto (another great character) and has a minute and a half long deal with how Muto disrespected him back at the yakuza HQ when Muto said he’d call him Iguchi instead of Mr. Iguchi. So when Iguchi beats him down outside, he says “stop it Mr. Iguchi” then the rest goes on with them both saying “Iguchi” Mr. Iguchi” to each other, until Muto says Iguchi. Then Iguchi proceeds to knock him out with a crate on the ground. The comedy in Boiling Point works very, very well where most of it is used (this isn’t a film to take seriously). Like the second baseball game where two of the funniest scenes in the movie take place, Iguchi telling off the empire, then chasing a player from the different team down the field. It’s all subtle and somewhat lightweight but it works really well.

The humor in the second half of the film where Kitano’s character Uehara comes into the film is WAY more dark and absurd. Like Kitano gleefully raping his friend to bulling and intimidating both characters and non-characters. His attitude is totally disrespectful and brutish. He’s the only character who seems to be different then the rest, because like I said before, all of the characters are just your average folks. Uehara on the other hand is a moody, mean person who is unexpected badass. But Uehara has nice companions along with him for his part, his girlfriend who he treats like shit and his guy-friend who he rapes happily. Kitano’s character is a big thumbs up for the movement of the plot and how he fits into this scheme which really he has nothing to do with. Awesome

There is more hilarious moments of humor throughout the film like jump cutting implied fights and motorcycle accidents to Iguchi’s exploits. Masaki himself does a few funny (and dim-witted things) during the film, but his character is more like an audience member watching all of these events and situations unfold in front of him. Dankan also makes a worthy debut in a Kitano film as Masaki’s buddy who tags along for the ride and gets into more then one funny accident himself. One of which is him knocking out some spoiled kid who trys to come onto him (it seemed like that) and another where (it’s tasteless really) he can’t wipe his ass after taking a shit in the bushes, so he runs into the ocean to clean out his colon.

Now for the negatives of the film. The pace of the film in almost excruciatingly slow, the baseball game is like 8 minutes and there’s no real highlights there except the introduction to Iguchi, Masaki, Dankan and Akira (Akira pops up a few times as the happy-go-lucky friend of Masaki). It’s a slow and kinda tedious way to start the film, but almost everything after that works out fine besides an overlong scene at an airport.

Another thing that bugged me was the ending. The ending has to be one of the biggest letdowns I’ve ever seen. It’s one of the only times that Takeshi attempted something extremely cliché, and Takeshi failed tring that. But it’s more or less another experimental thing that Takeshi tries out. But there’s many things you must know before watching this film.

– The film’s very, very slow. If you don’t like that, then stay away.
– I recommend not seeing this one first outta the fact that it’s nothing like Sonatine or Hana Bi.
– There’s no musical score or anything like that. No Hisaishi tunes, just Dankan’s AWFUL singing.
– Takeshi is in the film for only 20 minutes.
– There’s very minimal violence, but when it shows up, it’s quite brutal.
– The main character has approximately 7 or 8 lines in the film, people speak for him.
– Don’t expect depth or any real symbolism.
– ALL of the humor is subtle, no Getting Any? Style shit.
– The ending fucking blows.
– The direction is pretty sloppy and incoherent, most of the humor and events have less to do with the actual story.

Regarding the violence, the film has a very brutal feel to it, like the feel in Pulp Fiction whereas that film wasn’t violent but people dismissed it as extremely violent. Boiling point is the same, everything seems more violent in nature or real life then if you interpret the violence in Boiling Point as a movie “universe” itself like with Brother and Violent Cop.

I can’t quite understand the message that the film portrays. Because what I really saw was a theme of standing up to the enemy or asshole who wrongs you. Like Iguchi with people in general, Masaki with the yakuza and Uehara with the other yakuza’s, And another theme of anti social or just sociopathic people in general. Masaki doesn’t communicate with anyone throughout the film and he seems rather embarrassed with his actions when he trys to look good or try at something. Uehara on the other hand is the exact opposite of Masaki, he’s a loudmouth with select friends and many, many enemies who takes shit from no one but gives shit to everyone (it’s gratuitous almost). Think of that while watching the film then look at the ending and notice the little difference in Masaki.

The feel and tone is like every one of Takeshi’s yakuza/crime films. It’s gritty and bleak but has a very down-to-earth laid back feel. The ending is very abrupt and pretty bleak. But out of ALL of Kitano’s films, this is the one that feels the most realistic/down-to-earth.

So anyways, I find this to be one of my favorite Kitano films, it’s just weird, funny and at times absurd, with great characters, and humor. I’d recommend it if you’ve seen most of Kitano’s other films and you know his style for subtle humor and aesthetic violence/scenery. Bah fuck it, just buy it if you want too, but keep this review (or rant) in mind while watching it.

The Reviewer With No Name’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged |

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Brotherhood of the Wolf" Theatrical Poster

“Brotherhood of the Wolf” Theatrical Poster

AKA: Le Pacte des Loups
Director: Christophe Gans
Cast: Samuel Le Bihan, Vincent Cassel, Emilie Dequenne, Monica Bellucci, Jérémie Rénier, Mark Dacascos, Jean Yanne, Jean-François Stévenin
Running Time: 143 min.

By Numskull

Gregoire du Fronsac, royal naturalist, is sent to the rural county of Gevaudan to investigate a series of murders blamed on a rampaging, wolf-like beast. His assistants are Mani, his Iroquois blood brother, and Thomas d’Apcher, the grandson of the nobleman under whose roof he sleeps during his stay…that is, for the nights when he’s not bedding Sylvia, the prize attraction at the local brothel. During daylight hours, the aristocratic Marianne de Morangias is the target of his affections, and her arrogant, overbearing brother Jean-Francois is his adversary…at least, the one that walks on two legs.

I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I adore this film unconditionally. The first time I saw it, my reaction was one of perfect, pants-wetting joy, and had I not been confined to bed with an absolute motherfucker of a flu bout (sickest I’ve been in my life) so shortly thereafter, I probably would have been wandering the streets telling complete strangers to go see it. With its outstanding music, deafening sound effects, gorgeous sets and locations, and unapologetic mixture of genres, it was…and is…a true feast for the eyes and ears. I had never thought that tri-corner hats and eight layers of clothing could look so fucking cool.

Now? Well, the gushiness has faded, but the love hasn’t. There are flaws…a weak cut here, a bit of substandard CGI there…but this is minor, minor stuff. Brotherhood of the Wolf is almost certain to remain one of my very favorite films until the day I die. That doesn’t mean I want to watch it all the time…far from it…but it’ll always be present on my mental Top Whatever list, in the distinguished company of Seven, Fight Club, Braindead, Mr. Vampire, Musa, Falling Down, Ravenous, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

There are certain films where one’s adoration is such that you think anyone who doesn’t like them must be clinically insane. In this case…hey, I’m realistic. Incest, ecclesiastic conspiracies, and monster-hunting in 18th century France aren’t for everybody. I can only imagine how disappointed some people must have been when they got this after being led to expect a “kung fu werewolf movie” thanks to all of the idiot critics out there who came up with asinine comments like:

“An 18th Century version of The Matrix…” -Lou Lumenick, New York Post

“This is a kung-fu movie…” -Jeffrey M. Anderson, The San Francisco Examiner

“An unexpected touch of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” -Jami Bernard, The New York Daily News (she’s the one who compared The Passion of the Christ to WWII-era Nazi propaganda films, by the way)

“…slo-mo martial-arts scenes out of The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon…” -Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Were these people on crack? Had they never seen swords or subtitles before Crouching Tiger? Did they think that slow motion, long coats, and people hitting each other didn’t exist before The Matrix? Or were they just too fucking lazy to write reviews that were actually accurate?

These are the things that keep me awake at night.

One common complaint about BOTW…and I know that some people reading this have it, I can smell it on you…is that it’s “scatterbrained”; that it “doesn’t know what it wants to be” or some such nonsense. To those people, I say: That’s not what you mean. What you REALLY mean is: “I am confused and frightened by this movie’s refusal to fit neatly into one established category that has been around for as long as cinema itself, and rather than accept it for what it is, I shall scold it for not being something else like the mewling halfwit I am.” There, now. Isn’t it a relief for the truth to come out?

Another common complaint about BOTW is that it’s too long, and I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that the people who say so would be the first ones to whine that the film made no sense if it were shortened to accommodate their feeble attention spans. The film isn’t two and a half hours because Christophe Gans, Sebastien Prangere and David Wu don’t know what the fuck they’re doing; the film is two and a half hours because there are more than two important characters and because the story requires attention to detail. Of course, some of these poor souls were probably under the impression that this was a “kung fu werewolf movie” before they saw it, and while complaining about the film’s length they were probably STILL “thinking” (?) that it was supposed to be a “kung fu werewolf movie”. One would think that the large chunks of plot development between fight scenes, as well as the complete absence of lycanthropes in the film, would have made them aware that this, in fact, is NOT a “kung fu werewolf movie” in intention or execution and that they had been led astray by indolent critics. Alas…

The theatrical cut, released in the U.S. by Universal, is serviceable, but the extended version (available from TVA Films in Canada for us Region 1 types) is far better. Aside from several extra scenes integrated into the film, there are two discs full of supplementary material, much more interesting than the usual promotional stuff where everybody just sings one another’s praises. Actor Samuel le Bihan (Fronsac) and fight (NOT “kung fu”) choreographer Philip Kwok (of “Venoms” fame), for example, are generally pleased with the fruits of their labor but are also rather critical of each other’s methods. A notable disappointment is the lack of input from composer Joseph LoDuca, whose musical score for the film…one of my favorites, second only to Howard Shore’s Lord of the Rings work…is never less than superb.

I trust I’ve made my views clear. BOTW is, to me, at the top of the cool movie mountain. An absolute treasure, now and forever.

Numskull’s Rating: 10/10

By Reefer

Filled with guns, crossbows, martial arts, monsters, boobs, male bonding, and action, Brotherhood of the Wolf is a sixteen-year-old boy’s fantasies come to life. I mean, where else can you find such a collection of guilty pleasures? French director Christopher Gans seems to have gone out of his way to bring out the playful kid in his audience and succeeds on all counts.

BOTW begins as a traditional monster movie. Women and children fear attack from some crazed beast terrorizing the French countryside. The king sends two men to help investigate, Fronsac and Mani. Fronsac is a boyish intellectual and Mani is the strong silent warrior.

The heroic twosome arrive during a rain shower just in time to teach some scoundrels not to beat up on a woman and an old man. Mani beats them soundly with a staff, showing lots of slo-mo close-ups of splashing mud puddles and pouring rain. The photography throughout the film is a highlight. Later on, they and cohort discuss catching the beast while firing guns, throwing knives, and shooting crossbows at a bunch of pumpkins on some posts. Cut to: slow motion pumpkin explosions. I just sat there grinning from ear to ear. Totally guy stuff. When not beating ass or eviscerating pumpkins, our boys frequent the local brothel where lots of boobage is on display. No wonder this film is almost two and half hours long!!!

Based on actual events, BOTW also suggests enough conspiracy theories to make Oliver stone proud. Fortunately, the movie dumps most of the politics in favor of some very satisfying action sequences, choreographed to perfection by Philip Kwok (Mad Dog from Hard-boiled). One criticism, near the end when Fronsac is forced to fight, he does so like a skilled warrior, but his skills were never even alluded to previously. Mark Dacascos’s Mani did all the ass kicking. To me, this seemed like a cheat. Like they just decided to make Fronsac go Bruce Lee at the end of the film. Then I checked the Deleted Scenes on my DVD. Seems that in the original cut, Frontac actually takes part in the very first fight of the film, but that footage was cut out. I consider it a shame that it wasn’t included. Ignore the critics who couldn’t get past such mixing of genres. Forget that Mani, an Iroquois Indian, knows Asian kung fu. This is a highly entertaining romp of a film. Better enjoyed if you can find that kid inside of you.

Reefer’s Rating: 8/10

By Joe909

It’s hard to give an accurate description of this movie. It’s not exactly kung-fu, nor is it horror. It isn’t a love story, although there’s a heavy romantic subplot. I’d say it’s an old-fashioned romance in the original definition of the word: “a fictitious tale of heroes and adventure,” as quoted from Webster’s. It’s an adventure with two very cool heroes, a crazed villain, claw-wielding, kung-fu fighting peasants, wacky, demonic swords that break apart and re-form, two visits to a bordello (each with nudity included), a great monster (one of the few instances in which cgi effects look very realistic; in other words, better than “Phantom Menace” and all that crap), and a great climax.

Brotherhood of the Wolf looks like a modern-day Shaw Brothers movie, only filmed in French. The peasant warriors especially resemble Shaw extras, what with their long hair and home-made weapons. Maybe choreographer Philip Kwok had something to do with this. And speaking of choreography, the fights throughout are excellent, though there is the occasional, irritating use of slow motion and other filmic trickery. Not exactly Matrix-like, but close enough. Luckily, everyone sticks to the ground and there’s no flying around or any of that nonsense.

Mark Dascosos is one bad muther in this movie, believe you me. Gans apparently directed him with the early Arnold Schwarzenegger method: give the actor only a modicum of lines; let his grimace and toughguy bearing do all the talking. Plus they somehow achieved the impossible: Dascosos for once doesn’t look like an alternate member of N’Sync, there’s no prettyboy at all left in him. He’s just pure, face-painting, loincloth wearing, shroom-eating savage in this movie. He has probably one of the best kung-fu fights ever towards the end of the movie, as he takes on an epic amount of warriors in the monster’s crypt. There’s also a cool showdown with the monster, in which Dascosos’ character Mani paints himself up, just like Arnold did in “Predator.”

The main lead, Samuel Le Bihan, is just as much of a badass as Mani, though we as viewers don’t get a taste of this until later in the movie, although it’s pointed out in the very beginning that the guy is a war hero. His character gets probably the best scenes in the movie, what with his climactic battle in the villain’s lair, with henchmen and the villain himself.

This and “Versus” are the two best movies I’ve seen this year. If I had to choose between the two, I’d pick Brotherhood. Mostly because there’s more story (maybe too much of one, as the political subterfuge that runs throughout might throw off someone unfamiliar with French history; I had to explain the ending to my girlfriend, who really couldn’t have cared less, anyway), and because this is just more of a movie. “Versus” was great, but it’s mostly just guys running through a forest and killing each other. Brotherhood of the Wolf offers something for everyone, and if you’re looking for something fresh, exciting, and original, I would direct you to this great film.

Joe909’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Big Hit, The (1998) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Big Hit" Japanese DVD Cover

“The Big Hit” Japanese DVD Cover

Director: Kirk Wong
Writer: Ben Ramsey
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christina Applegate, Avery Brooks, Bokeem Woodbine, China Chow, Antonio Sabato Jr., Lainie Kazan, Elliott Gould, Sab Shimono, Robin Dunne, Lela Rochon
Running Time: 91 min.

By Numskull

If I really hated this movie, I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to call it “The Big Shit”. Fortunately I don’t hate it, so you need never fear hearing that too-easy-to-be-funny reference from me again.

In terms of crafting an enjoyable American debut film, Che-Kirk Wong succeeds where John Woo, Ringo Lam, Tsui Hark and Ronnie Yu all failed. The Big Hit is by no means perfect but it’s got a lot going for it. With a $10 million budget, it can’t be considered one of those “icky, little” movies that almost nobody sees (twits), but at the same time, that figure (low by Hollywood standards) eased the pressure to deliver a hyper-mega-super-blockbuster and made it easy for the film to turn a profit. Plus, John Woo and Terence Chang helped out behind the scenes, Mark Wahlberg makes a pretty likable killer-for-hire, and, most importantly, the script has a fantastic sense of humor. Consequently, there is no point in the entire movie where it even comes within 500 miles of taking itself too seriously.

A good thing, that; the basic plotline is somewhat less than epic. Kinda like a sitcom with guns. The kidnapping and betrayal, mercifully, take center stage most of the time, rather than the budding romance between kidnapper and kidnappee and the fact that kidnapper is banging two women at once (engaged to one, borrowing money from another).

The supporting cast is a mixed bag. First and foremost: Lou Diamond Phillips. This guy is quite good at being annoying. Whether that’s a pro or a con is up to the individual viewer. The big boss man (Avery Brooks) is also a highlight. Christina Applegate? Sorry, I just can’t shake the spectre of “Married…With Children” when I see her. Her parents are reasonably funny, though. The trace-busting guy who can never think of the right word to say tries too hard. He ain’t no good. And then there’s China Chow, making her…uh…”acting” debut. Seriously, I won’t say her performance totally sucks, but it’s painfully obvious that she was selected for the role just because of her looks. One day, by God, the aesthetically challenged will take Hollywood by force, and the streets will run red with the blood of models both super and regular…

One guy here really deserves a special mention: Danny Smith, who plays the snotty, zit-faced clerk at Big Top Video. The part is small but I’m convinced he was born to play it. His delivery is hilarious. With the right material, this guy could have a successful “niche” career, kinda like a geeky Jim Carrey (only much, MUCH funnier).

Danny reminds me of a guy named Dave that I used to know in high school.

I wonder what ol’ Dave is up to these days?

Guess I’ll never know.

Anyway…

There are a few well-done action scenes and some penis jokes. The DVD has deleted scenes, including one in which has Melvin’s girlfriend says “I suck your dick like I’m drowning and your balls are full of oxygen.” They shoulda left that in there. Excerpts from “Taste the Golden Spray” (fuck me, that’s funny) would have been nice, too.

I guess I’m done. This isn’t the kind of movie you can have really deep thoughts about. Just give it a rental, and quit bitching about American action movies in general. Sometimes you have to watch something just for fun, regardless of how dirty you feel for it afterwards.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Joe909

The Big Hit is one of those movies that makes me wish I could magically transport myself into the world of the film. Why? So I could beat the living shit out of Lou “Diamond” Philips. Damn, I hate this guy. And damn, I hate this movie. But back to the Diamond-bashing. The Big Hit isn’t that good to begin with, but Philips makes it even worse with his horrible, macho posturing, overuse of “hip” slang, and by generally just being a prick. I didn’t like most of the other characters, either. They all try to talk and act “hip,” but instead come off like a suburban high school drama club performing their rendition of “New Jack City.”

There’s only one good scene in this entire movie, and that’s the opening hit on the crook who peddles in slavery. It’s a pretty neat action setpiece, as Marky Mark takes on everyone with a pair of nitesite goggles and a bag of weapons. He even spins around on the floor and shoots people. But that’s it. That’s the only good scene. The opening credits sequence alone, which is no doubt the joy of gay men and pre-teen girls everywhere, in which we watch a nearly-nude Marky Mark work out on his gym bag, gives you an idea of what you’re in for: a bunch of MTV-style shit. All posturing, no substance. Even the music is absolutely horrendous. The Big Hit captures every essence of what makes bad Hong Kong movies bad: bland, stereotypical characters, “comedic” bits that aren’t funny, and a boring, frustrating subplot that adds nothing to the movie, and only serves to detract from it. By this I refer to Marky Mark’s fiancé and her annoying parents, whose bumbling fussiness only served to make me reach for the fast forward button.

I guess you could just take this movie as a fluff piece, but even then, it doesn’t cut it. Nothing makes any sense in the movie. For example, China Chow and Marky Mark bond as they prepare a kosher meal for those annoying, would-be in-laws. MM goes to kiss CC, but then she bashes him in the head. Marky ties her back up and deposits her back in the trunk of a car. However, mere minutes later, they’re together in a car, talking about how they want to be together forever. WTF? And what about when Marky’s car is run off the road and lands on a tree, threatening to plummet to the ground, far, far below? MM and China get out of the car: and the very next scene they’re in the middle of a forest! And just a second before getting knocked off the cliff, they seemed to be in a residential area! I can buy people flying through the air, like in Swordsman 2, but shit like this irks the hell out of me.

I know some people like this movie, but I’m not one of them. I can’t think of one good thing to say about it, other than Lou “Diamond” Philips’s character gets stabbed in the chest and dies.

Oh, and no offense to those who like the gifted Mr. Wahlberg. I myself think he’s a fine actor (when the material’s good); I just like to call him “Marky Mark,” so no one will ever forget who this man once was. The world might have moved on, but I still (unfortunately) remember his and the “Funky Bunch’s” butchering of “Good Vibrations.”

Joe909’s Rating: 3/10 (for the opening fight sequence alone)

By James H.

Once upon a time, a studio executive said, “Let’s make a funny action movie.” Millions of dollars were invested and a funny action movie was made, giving birth to what we all know and love; the action/comedy. Throughout the centuries many action comedies have been made. There have been some good ones and some bad ones. Fortunately, The Big Hit is one of the good ones.

Mark Wahlberg stars as a hit man with the unlikely name Melvin Smiley. He just wants to be liked. He also has co-dependency issues with his fiancé (Christina Applegate) and his girlfriend on the side (Lela Rochon). Wahlberg plays the character cool, and tongue firmly in cheek.

No matter how talented and likeable Wahlberg is with Melvin, the show is stolen by Lou Diamond Phillips in a brilliantly over-the-top role. He plays Cisco, one of Melvin’s partners, another contract killer. He has a plan to make some extra money on the side by kidnapping the daughter of a wealthy Japanese industrialist. Unfortunately, the wealthy industrialist has gone bankrupt after his film “Taste the Golden Spray” tanked. Here’s the hitch though, the daughter is also the goddaughter of Paris (Avery Brooks), Melvin and Cisco’s boss.

For the most part, the action takes a back seat, save the opening and the finale. The real focus is the comedy. The laughs in the film are genuine, and never forced. The film takes on several forms of humor too. There are several big laughs throughout, like the scene where Lou Diamond Phillips’ character tries to call the Japanese industrialist to inform him his daughter has been kidnapped. There are subtle small laughs too, like how the henchmen ride around in Dodge Caravans, or that it seems like King Kong Lives is everyone’s favorite movie. I loved, too, the little comment about suburbia’s look-a-like houses from Melvin’s neighbor (“Wrong house again, asshole!”).

The film was directed by Kirk Wong who also did the below average Organized Crime and Triad Bureau and the stellar Crime Story. Here he makes his North American debut, that shattered all of my expectations, giving the film a highly stylistic and electric feel to it. The action is very well done, edited expertly, and is very exciting.

The Big Hit is one of those fun, if somewhat predictable action comedies that will grab you and entertain you for 91 minutes and leave you with a smile on your face. It’s got style, action, great performances all around, and plenty of charm.

James H’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , |
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