Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973) Review

"Godzilla vs. Megalon" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Godzilla vs. Megalon” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Jun Fukuda
Producer: Tomoyuki Tanaka
Cast: Katsuhiko Sasaki, Hiroyuki Kawase, Yutaka Hayashi, Robert Dunham, Kotaro Tomita
Running Time: 81 min.

By Woody

My fondest memories of Palmdale, California are of visiting my Grandma Mary, eating TV dinners, and sitting in the guest room to watch the weekly Japanese monster movie on channel 5. It was the high point of my week. Living in Palmdale in the early nineties was hell for me. Being white in a predominantly African-American and Latino area was somewhat of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it taught me a lot about other cultures and diversity and whatnot. On the other hand, this was around the time of the LA riots. All the black and latino kids took out their frustrations on those of us who happened to be white or asian. When I pressed my friends for why they were beating me up and throwing rocks at me, their only answer: “Rodney King.”

Being raised by liberal parents, I was never able to let these experiences build up into racism, but I still house a lot of resentment. My friends were attacking me for no discernible reason. Because of some dude on the TV screen. And my parents didn’t do a damn thing. I went to school every day praying my friends would want to play “Ninja Turtles” instead of “Kill the Kracker.” Living in cheap-ass apartments and going to a low-rent elementary school, I was often confronted with this racially motivated violence. My only escape was Grandma Mary’s house. Grandpa Ralph, smoking a cigarette in the living room, watching Soul Train. Grandma Mary, smoking a cigarette in her room, listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival. Myself, unwinding in the guest room to tease the angry cat that lived under the bed and to watch a good old-fashioned Godzilla movie.

I was awestruck by Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, and the bunch. Ahh, if only I had friends like Godzilla and Rodan to get me out of sticky situations. No more pelting me with rocks while yelling “Rodney King.” No more playing with me one day and urinating on me the next. If only I had Godzilla standing behind me. No one would cut in front of me in line. No one would dare call me a cracker or honky. No one would steal my brand new shoes, just to throw them up on a telephone line.

Watching these giant monsters stomp those poor Tokyo city-goers was an escape for me. I didn’t have to worry about issues like black or white. There weren’t any blacks or whites. Just a bunch of Japanese people whose mouth movements didn’t match the words they spoke and the giant monsters stompin’ on ’em. Eventually we moved away from Palmdale. Not soon after, both my great-grandparents had died and their house had been sold. But one thing stuck with me through that whole horrid, confusing experience. My love of giant monsters destroying Tokyo real estate.

The first movie I ever bought, with my own money, was Godzilla Vs. Megalon. I was seven years old. I worked my ass off for that movie. I picked up dog doo, I pulled weeds, I cleaned toilets. I even washed dishes. To this day, I NEVER wash dishes. After much laboring, I had enough to run over to the Cerritos Mall, go to the “One Dollar and Up” store, and buy Godzilla Vs. Megalon. Popping it in, I was beyond jovial. Godzilla Vs. Megalon, and it’s mine. All mine! For about six months, Godzilla Vs. Megalon was the only thing in my parent’s VCR.

Within time, I found new things to obsess over. First it was horror movies, which got me interested in punk with The Misfits, and then hip-hop with The Gravediggaz. The Gravediggaz turned me onto the Wu Tang Clan, which then in turn got me into John Woo movies and kung fu. My Woo/ Kung Fu obsession soon turned into an obsession with all things Hong Kong, and within time that spread to a love for Asian movies in general, and, when my DVD recently broke, I decided to dust off my old VHS collection, and lo and behold, what do I see? Godzilla Vs. Megalon, among other kaiju eiga (Japanese monster movies). Ahh, the circular nature of things.

I threw Godzilla Vs. Megalon into my player and sat back. It was like visiting with an old friend.

Godzilla Vs. Megalon has some funnily costumed people living under the Pacific Ocean called Seatopians. Rampant pollution is working wonders on the environment, destroying their habitat. What are a bunch of underwater-dwelling weirdoes to do? Well, we could organize in front of the Diet and protest. We can request assistance from the EPA. Naw, screw that, let’s just send up a giant cockroach and chicken to level some buildings and raise some hell. I like their reasoning.

On the surface, a couple of (I think) gay scientists and a little boy in short shorts (the horror! the horror….) are working on Jet Jaguar, a robot with just enough modifications so that the Ultraman producers couldn’t sue. Anyways, Jet Jaguar is a pretty cool robot. He can fly, he can fight, and he can even grow to Godzilla-esque proportions. Or wander onto sets with miniature buildings. Anyways, bad guys hired by the Seatopians cause problems for our life-partner heroes, monsters reek havoc in the countryside, and any pedophiles that happen across the movie are finding themselves in bonerville as that little annoying kid’s shorts get smaller and smaller. Oh, and Godzilla bounces on his tail.

And Jet Jaguar has his own theme song at the movie’s end.

What I’m saying with all this is, it’s hard to be objective when it comes to Godzilla movies. They were my escape from racial violence. This movie, in particular, was the first I ever bought. I LOVE these movies. Perhaps you are too adult and mature to enjoy them. I am not. I will never be too old or mature to enjoy monsters stompin’ on Japanese cities. I’ll never be too old for little boys in short-shorts. I’ll take an early-70’s Godzilla movie over a French art film any day. And if you don’t like it…what’s the opposite of growing up? Growing down? Yeah…grow down, man!

Woody’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in All, Japanese, News, Reviews | Tagged |

30th Hong Kong Film Awards Winners

30th Hong Kong Film Awards Winners

30th Hong Kong Film Awards Winners

Best Film: “Gallants”
Best Director: Tsui Hark, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”
Best Screenplay: Pang Ho-cheung and Heiward Mak, “Love In a Puff”
Best Actor: Nicholas Tse, “The Stool Pigeon”
Best Actress: Carina Lau, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”

Best Actor: Nicholas Tse, “The Stool Pigeon”
Best Actress: Carina Lau, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”
Best Supporting Actor: Teddy Robin, “Gallants
Best Supporting Actress: Susan Shaw (aka Shaw Yum Yum), “Gallants
Best New Performer: Hanjin Tan, “Bruce Lee, My Brother

Best Cinematography: Peter Pau, “Confucius”
Best Film Editing: Cheung Ka-fai, “Ip Man 2
Best Art Direction: James Choo, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”
Best Costume and Make-up Design: Bruce Yu, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”
Best Action Choreography: Sammo Hung, “Ip Man 2”

Best Original Film Score: Teddy Robin and Tommy Wai, “Gallants
Best Original Film Song: “Here to Stay,” music, lyrics and performed by Jun Kung
Best Sound Design: Wang Danrong and Zhao Nan, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”
Best Visual Effects: Lee Yong-gi and Nam Sang-woo, “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”

Best New Director: Felix Chong, “Once a Gangster”
Best Asian Film: “Confessions” (Japan)
Professional Achievement: Willie Chan
Lifetime Achievement: Terry Lai

For more information, please visit the official HKFA website.

Posted in News |

Brother’s Justice Blu-ray/DVD (Well Go USA)

Brother's Justice Blu-ray/DVD (Well Go USA)

Brother's Justice Blu-ray/DVD (Well Go USA)

RELEASE DATE: July 12, 2011

Motivated by Box Office statistics, Dax (Dax Shepard) has made a decision to leave comedy to pursue his dream of becoming an international Martial Arts action star. Also starring/appearances by Tom Arnold, Bradley Cooper and Jon Favreau.

Check out the trailer here. Read cityonfire.com’s review here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles, Other Notable Titles |

Empire of Assassins DVD (Lionsgate)

Empire of Assassins DVD (Lionsgate)

Empire of Assassins DVD (Lionsgate)

RELEASE DATE: July 5, 2011

One man is out for revenge after a life-altering event destroys his family. After years of preparation he seeks out his justice, while unaware of its relation to on his brother. As these two brothers seek to destroy each other, certain memories are triggered and although many trusted allies will be dishonest and misleading, neither one will stop until they know the truth. Starring Sun Huining (Legend of Shaolin Kung Fu), Li Yuan (Legend of Bruce Lee), Xie Miao (My Father Is A Hero).

Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

High and Low Blu-ray (Criterion)

High and Low Blu-ray (Criterion)

High and Low Blu-ray (Criterion)

RELEASE DATE: Jul 26, 2011

First time on Blu-ray! High and Low (literally “Heaven and Hell”) is a 1963 film directed by Akira Kurosawa, starring Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Nakadai and Kyoko Kagawa. It was loosely based on King’s Ransom, an 87th Precinct police procedural by Ed McBain.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Damnation Alley Blu-ray/DVD (Shout!)

Damnation Alley Blu-ray/DVD (Shout!)

Damnation Alley Blu-ray/DVD (Shout!)

RELEASE DATE: July 12, 2011

Finally! One of those flicks you’ve seen on the tube many times as a child, but never knew its name.

In an post-apocalyptic world, a group of survivors travel and find other settlements in huge custom designed all terrain vehicles. Damnation Alley is a 1977 film, directed by Jack Smight (Midway), loosely based on the novel of the same name by Roger Zelazny. It stars Jan-Michael Vincent (Air Wolf), George Peppard (A-Team), Dominique Sanda, Paul Winfield (The Terminator) and Jackie Earle Haley (A Nightmare On Elm Street remake).

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Ninjas vs Vampires DVD (Vicious Circle)

Ninjas vs Vampires DVD (Vicious Circle)

Ninjas vs Vampires DVD (Vicious Circle)

RELEASE DATE: May 3, 2011

From Justin Timpane, director of Ninjas vs Zombies, comes Ninjas vs Vampires. Moments after down-on-his-luck Aaron is rejected by the girl of his dreams, they both are attacked by blood sucking vampires. Driven to save her, Aaron tracks down the mysterious NINJAS, who wage a nightly war against the forces of darkness.

Check out the trailer at the official site.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

The Steven Seagal DVD Collection (Fox)

The Steven Seagal DVD Collection (Fox)

The Steven Seagal DVD Collection (Fox)

RELEASE DATE: May 10, 2011

The name Steven Seagal is synonymous with adrenaline-charged, martial arts, edge-of-your-seat action. A hero’s hero, Seagal doesn’t let anything get in the way of doing what’s right. In four of his most action-packed films, Seagal is laser focused and at full throttle, as he stops at nothing to win the fight for justice. Set contains: Driven To Kill, The Keeper, Marked For Death and Mercenary For Justice.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Peacock King, The | aka Legend of the Phoenix (1989) Review

"The Peacock King" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Peacock King” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Nam Nai Choi
Producer: Chua Lam
Cast: Yuen Biao, Gloria Yip Wan Yi, Pauline Wong Siu Fung, Pauline Wong Siu Fung, Gordon Liu Chia Hui, Eddie Ko Hung, Philip Kwok Chung Fung, Ken Boyle, Siu Tak Foo, Yuen Bun, Kara Hui Ying Hung
Running Time: 83 min.

By JJ Hatfield

All is dark except for an area forming a rough circle around an ongoing archaeological dig. Without warning a great force erupts from the new opening. When the dust settles for a moment a female appears and tells the people they have opened a hole to hell. Then she calls for Ashura, Hell’s Virgin, and commands her to destroy everything which she does. Someone has to prevent the other holes from opening and allowing creatures from Hell to cross over into the human world!

The film was a Chinese/Japanese co-production based upon a highly popular Japanese manga. It is a current (1989) tale of spirits, demons, magic and the King of Hell himself! Two different monks are called by their respective masters to perform a duty. They must prevent the other holes from opening and allowing evil to possess the realm of humans. Peacock (Yuen Biao) was raised by Master (Eddy Ko Hung) in Tibet. He is quite skilled and very modern in some ways. He wears sunglasses, dances, and is up to date on the current trends. He is told that he must go to Tokyo and meet with another monk to keep the King of Hell from destroying all of human kind. Peacock journeys to Japan to find Ashura (Gloria Yip) and prevent the next hole from opening.

In looking for Ashura and the next hole, Peacock meets his Japanese counterpart Lucky Fruit (Hiroshi Mikami), another monk who has the same mission. The two monks have different abilities, mostly seen during fights as Lucky Fruit is not the fighter, acrobat, etc. like Peacock. Lucky Fruit is more humble and more reserved than Peacock. They are very similar however and at one point Lucky Fruit says the difference between them is that Peacock helps people for money whereas he does not charge those he helps. In most ways they are much the same, however Peacock sees Ashura as a victim of fate. It was not her fault to be born the daughter of the King of Hell. He wants to give her as much time as possible to be a sweet young girl experiencing life.

As sappy happy as that might be it would be very monotonous and boring. Fortunately events force Peacock into some of the most inventive fighting of his younger days. And most of the time it’s all Biao. In a film of this wu-xia-ish fantasy, there are of course wires and tubing. The various monsters, demons, ghosts, zombies… I’m sure I saw some zombies… are passable if you don’t look at them very carefully. But the star here is Biao’s moves, so your focus will be on him anyway.

The director Nam Lai-Choi had six writers, or as some credits state five writers and one comic. The writers listed at the IMDb – Izo Hashimoto writer, Heung Sang Kong writer, Makoto Ogino comic, Ikki Sekizumi writer, Edward Tang writer, Suet Lai Woo writer – I don’t recall seeing such a listing before. It’s no wonder the story is uneven! Biao was not only the choreographer but the action director as well. In addition, he is listed in several places as being the co-director.

Fans get a pretty cool extra most people don’t know about. Peacock (Yuen Biao) gets to fight one on one with Kubira (Liu Chia-Hui). It’s pretty damn good and the only time I am aware that Yuen Biao ever fought with Lui Chia-Hui. The special fx ranged from goofy to good for the time and budget. I must admit, sometimes I was reminded of Harryhausen. Over all, Peacock King is quite entertaining. It has some great fighting, but it could have benefited from more. The humor is actually pretty good. Some nice sarcasm – Frightened girl: “What was that noise?” Biao/Peacock “Stereo”

The music, costumes and sets are on the skimpy side but it doesn’t hurt the final product. Peacock King is a manga-to-movie good time.

There is a sequel to this film, The Saga of the Phoenix, that I will be reviewing in the coming weeks.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Hard Boiled (1992) Review

"Hard Boiled" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Hard Boiled” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: John Woo
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Tony Leung, Anthony Wong, Philip Chan, Teresa Mo, Kwan Hoi San, Philip Kwok, Stephen Tung, Bowie Lam, Bobby Au-Yeung Jan Wa
Running Time: 122 min.

By Joseph Kuby

As far as gun battles go, this is the best action film of all time!

Cinematically speaking, it doesn’t hold a candle to Bullet In The Head or The Killer for that matter, but it still has a level of depth in the plotting, dialogue and characterizations which is ignored by not only the filmmakers who make these kinds of movies but by the audiences alike.

I’ve read much criticism where everyone is accusing this movie of brainless entertainment just because the action scenes stand out so much that they are truly riveting with awesome dynamics and amazing sense of danger.

The perception among people is that if a film has exceedingly fantastic action set-pieces then that supposedly means there’s no story or cinematic merit to speak of what so ever. It’s very easy to think that if a film has hypnotically spellbinding action sequences that any attempt at artistic eminence is pretentious and silly or non-existent but that’s very common when someone has a cynical pre-conception of what this kind of movie is like.

It still doesn’t change the fact that the dialogue and cinematography (with John Woo’s highly engrossing usage of metaphors) is better than most action films. Plus, the acting is infinitely superior with Chow Yun Fat and Tony Leung Chiu Wai showing a great sense of vulnerability and pathos. Not to mention that the script has an unseen level of humanity rarely depicted in Hollywood non-action movies, let alone action films in general!

Even though films like Desperado, The Matrix, Equilibrium, Once Upon A Time In Mexico and Bad Boys 2 aim to imitate and surpass Hard Boiled for sheer trigger-happy mayhem and colossal destruction, all of these films have failed – disappointing when considering the budget for Hard Boiled. It just goes to show you that budget means hardly a nickle (pardon the somewhat obvious pun) when you have genuine talent waiting to be painted onto a canvas – and in John’s case he really paints the screen with vibrantly violent colours (again, pardon the pun).

This film is so influential that it even inspired one of the Usagi Yojimbo stories drawn (by Stan Sakai) with the usage of paper animals to symbolize a deceased living being.

If you want to find out information concerning the alternate uncut Taiwanese version and where to purchase it, ask this guy here.

Joseph Kuby’s Rating: 9.5/10


By Joe909

Not to state the obvious, but I think John Woo likes guns. I mean, he really, really likes them. Kind of like the way Jimi Hendrix liked guitars. Hard Boiled, then, comes off as John Woo’s love letter to guns. But that’s fine, because I like guns, too.

One of those “near future” thrillers (released in ’92, set in ’97), Hard Boiled looked dated as soon as it was released, with its “Miami Vice” fashions and jazzy score. It didn’t do very well in the Hong Kong box office, which isn’t very surprising when you consider how “Hollywood” it is (this was, of course, well before HK movies became as glossy as Hollywood productions, themselves). In some ways, Hard Boiled seems like Woo’s demo reel for Hollywood producers, sort of like a “look what I can do” project. Every gun fight is stretched to its limit, explosions are aplenty, and everything from the lenses used to the angles chosen seem more like something framed by a Western director than Hong Kong’s finest. But beyond all of this, I think Hard Boiled is one of the best action movies ever made, if not THE best.

Sure, the story isn’t too involving, the drama isn’t as gripping as “The Killer” (which, movie-wise, is the superior film, but the action scenes in Hard Boiled are just staged better), and in some instances it’s just too chaotic for its own good, but if you crave action (and by that I mean countless gun fights, slow-motion escapes from death, possibly the coolest henchman in film history, masked and armed SDU guys adding to the chaotic mix, and two lead heroes who kill more people than the average dictator), then Hard Boiled is the perfect fix.

Tony Leung pulls off one of the most impressive acting jobs I’ve ever seen. The image that has always most struck me about Hard Boiled is the slow-motion facial expression Leung goes through after killing his kind-hearted boss, as he walks by Anthony Wong. Chow Yun-Fat doesn’t get as much room to show off his skill as he did in other Woo films, but still he’s effective as the superheroic cop Tequila. Anthony Wong goes over the top as the villain, and Kuo Choi is probably my favorite character in the movie; Woo further proved his genius by having Kuo, who was always the hero in Shaw Brothers movies, play Wong’s deadly henchman Mad Dog. I’d say my favorite action scene in Hard Boiled is the warehouse attack, mostly because we get to see Kuo drive around on a motorcycle and blast guys apart with his Mac-10.

The gun battles are staged with a lover’s care. No detail is spared. Another thing I’ve always liked about Woo is that he’s never limited himself to just showing one type of gun in his movies. Most heroic bloodsheds feature guys who only carry around handguns; very rarely will you see any heavy duty equipment. But just about every gun (from single-shot to automatic to missile launcher) is employed in Hard Boiled. I like it.

I’ve read online speculation that Tony Leung’s character dies in the end, and the mock funeral Tequila et al have for him in the police station is the real thing (in fact, they’re just having a funeral for Leung the cop, not Leung the man, who’s started a new life). So according to this speculation, the shots we see at the very end, of the bandaged Leung at sea, are apparently glimpses of Leung in Heaven. But let me ask you this: why would you wear bandages in Heaven?

Joe909’s Rating: 9.5/10


By Numskull

Yeah, baby.

Hard Boiled…aaahh. It has just the right mix of Die Hard-style action and the “heroic bloodshed” sensibilities that John Woo’s HK films are famous for. It’s Woo at his most visceral, turning the character development and “honor among thieves” philosophizing down just a tiny bit and kicking the frenzied shootouts into hyper-megadeath mode. It has a higher body count than a small war and is the most super-charged, over-the-top, take-no-prisoners action movie I have ever seen.

Some people might complain that the plot is too complicated. These people are fools with the attention spans of dyslexic goldfish. Hard Boiled has a well-told story and the American release from Fox Lorber has great subtitles with accurate English incorporating slang, puns, the technically incomplete sentences that we use so often, and plenty of good old-fashioned cussin’.

We all know that Chow Yun-Fat is a superb actor, but he sure as hell ain’t the only one. Tony Leung, who holds his own just fine in the presence of his more famous co-star, is super-cool as the undercover cop. His screen chemistry with Yun-Fat is even better than Danny Lee’s in The Killer.

But what would great stars be without great co-stars? The supporting cast is truly outstanding. There’s Teresa, Tequila’s (Chow’s) vaguely dissatisfied girlfriend; Phillip Chan as the “I don’t need to explain myself to the likes of you” police chief (whose exchanges with Tequila are among the most engaging dramatic scenes in the film); Foxy, the “damn I’m smooth” informer who pledges allegiance to no man; Johhny, the big scumfuck gangster with the garishly-colored suits; John Woo himself as a retired cop who dispenses sagelike advice from behind a bar; and, best of all, Philip Kwok as the henchman Mad Dog. Here’s a fucker who takes on Tequila and Tony simultaneously, armed with a stylish handgun that holds just one bullet at a time, while defending the big weapons storage room which has all the assault rifles and submachine guns a guy could want. He can get away with this sort of thing because he is just THAT MUCH of a badass.

As for the action, let’s put it this way: if it’s true that certain people “get off” on violence, then this movie is the equivalent of hardcore porn for the NRA. The opening sequence in the restaurant, the slaughter in Mr. Hui’s warehouse, and the brief cat-and-mouse game on Tony’s boat are beautifully shot (pun absolutely intended). But the real big-ass pot of gold at the end of the blood-stained rainbow is the magnificent symphony of destruction in the hospital; the orchestra is huge and Mr. Woo is a fine conductor. As with all of the shootouts here, the amount of preparation and forethought required to ensure the smoothness we’ve come to expect from him is staggering, but the sense of spontaneity and total fucking mayhem is never lost. You wanna send Joe Lieberman to an early grave (and who in their right mind doesn’t)? Strap him down, force him to watch this movie Clockwork Orange-style, and wait for the heart attack. Of particular interest is the segment in which Chow Yun-Fat and Tony Leung, in a disgusting attempt to corrupt our children, blast their way through the hospital’s hallways, opening fire on anything that moves. It has a certain DOOM (the video game) quality to it that would make those fascist “concerned parents” groups shit their pants. Thank God those two Columbine fuckheads apparently didn’t know about this movie.

Suspending your disbelief for our two dauntless heroes mowing down everyone in sight and not getting caught in a crossfire or tagged by a stray bullet is one thing, but suspending your disbelief for a couple of plot points here is something else entirely. First, Tequila manages to find the library book with the gun inside almost immediately upon arriving at the scene. Yeah, it was jutting out a little and yeah, there was some blood on it, but isn’t it an extraordinary coincidence that the first aisle he checks out just happens to be the one hiding the murder weapon? We’re given the impression that the library is pretty big. Big enough to kill somebody in and not get caught in the act, anyway. For shame. Also, Tony managing to shoot a cigarette lighter that he can’t even see AFTER roughing Foxy up (thus presumably causing the lighter to bounce around in his pocket a little) is enough to make you stand up and yell “Bullshit!”

To hell with that, though. Hard Boiled succeeds on every level; good story, good acting, sensational action. Watch it or die ignorant.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10


By Alvin George

“Hard-Boiled” is a noisy, overrated crime thriller filled with wall-to-wall violence and mayhem. This was the first Chow Yun-Fat movie I ever saw. I know who he looks like NOW, having since seen “The Replacement Killers” and “A Better Tomorrow,” but I couldn’t pick him out here. How come? At least from my point of view, the characterizations and plot developments are overwhelmed by shootouts that go on forever. The shootouts are well-choreographed, but the movie gives us WAY too much of a good thing. And all the action seemed to consist of just shootouts. Why not throw in a few car chases? For fans of movies starring Chow Yun-Fat and directed by John Woo, enjoy this movie. For me, the movie had practically numbed me to death by the time the closing credits came around.

Alvin George’s Rating: 6/10


By Vic Nguyen

John Woo’s final ode to Hong Kong Cinema contains some of the director’s most exhilirating, hyper-violent action sequences to date. Chow Yun-fat and Tony Leung Chiu-wai turn in fantastic performances as the 2 leasds, while Shaw Brothers veteran Philip Kwok (who also serves as action director) is great as the ultra slick mob henchman. The final 45 minute, no-holds-barred hospital assault contains more action than many Hollywood films in their entirety. This violent masterpiece has yet to fail whenever I try to introduce my friends to the Hong Kong movie world, which is an acheivment in itself, since many of those silly bastards refuse to view anything that is not from the Hollywood factory. Required viewing for any serious HK movie fan.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 10/10


By S!DM

John Woo’s last piece of work in Hong Kong, Hard-Boiled showcases his most inspiring visuals in a tight and concise “cops and robbers” storyline. Tequila (Chow) is a street-hardened cop in this caper, masterfully directed and containing supercharged action pieces as well as strong scenes of characterization. The visuals never let up, and, coupled with Michael Gibbs’ stylishly wild jazz, mix to create the ultimate action film. Truly awe-inspiring, this film puts Hollywood’s attempts at action to shame. A must-see.

S!DM’S Rating: 10/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Bruce Lee the Invincible (1978) Review

"Bruce Lee the Invincible" Theatrical Poster

“Bruce Lee the Invincible” Theatrical Poster

AKA: Bruce Li the Invincible
Director: Law Kei
Cast: Bruce Li (aka Ho Chung Tao, James Ho), Chan Sing, Bolo Yeung, Mars, Fung Hak On, Eric Tsang, Michael Chan Wai Man, Chan Wai Ying, Cheung Lik
Running Time: 90 min.

By Jeff Bona

After disrespecting his fellow countrymen, Chang Lee Kung (Michael Chan Wai Man) promises his teacher (Bolo Yeung) that he’ll start a new, positive life in Malaysia. However, word gets around that he has become even more sinister ever since his move. He’s now the head of an organization that controls an illegal gambling den and operates a shady mining company. In addition, he seduces married women and orders his henchmen to terrorize and kidnap innocent people.

Upon hearing about Chang Lee Kung’s antics, three badasses head to Malaysia to put a stop to the madness: Master Fok Yuen Gap (Chan Sing), Yu Fong (Ho Chung Tao) and Shu San (Cheung Lik) — I take that back, two badasses (Sorry, Cheung Lik).

“Bruce Lee The Invincible” has something for everyone:

You want an all-star cast? You get Michael Chan Wai Man (“Five Element Ninjas”), Bruce Li (“Do I really need to name a movie?”), Chan Sing (“New Fist of Fury”), Cheung Lik (“Enter Three Dragons”), Bolo Yeung (“Enter the Dragon”), Fung Hak On (“Young Master”), Mars (“Police Story”) and even a brief cameo by Eric Tsang (“Infernal Affairs”).

You like to see cute chicks get kidnapped, slapped around and sexually assaulted? It’s here, compliments of Chan Wai Ying (“Vice Squad 633”), who spends the whole movie getting abused in every single way. As an added bonus, you get to see her run around in a white spandex-like outfit. At one point, she even gets pushed into water. Water + white = translucent, if you catch my drift.

You want to learn the secret of the Shaolin Disguise Technique? See the magic happen before your eyes as Chan Sing becomes Mars (well-known actor/stuntman) with the help of a nifty rubber mask. I find it funny they chose Mars, since his body is a lot smaller than Chan Sing’s. I suppose that’s part of the “technique.”

You want to see ass-kicking apes? They never really explain the what the deal is with these fighting apes, but depending on how they’re killed, their eyes either bulge out or their brains sorta become exposed.

You want to see non-stop kung fu? Surprisingly, the action choreography is tight. There seriously isn’t a dull moment during the fight sequences. I’m not saying they’re the best I’ve seen, but they’re certainly good considering how kooky the rest of the movie is.

I know this is cliche to say, but “Bruce Lee The Invincible” is so bad, it’s good!

Jeff Bona‘s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Bruceploitation, Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

Somewhere Blu-ray/DVD (Universal)

Somewhere Blu-ray/DVD (Universal)

Somewhere Blu-ray/DVD (Universal)

RELEASE DATE: April 19, 2011

Directed by Sofia Coppola (Virgin Suicides, Lost In Translation), “Somewhere” revolves around a hard-living Hollywood actor (Stephen Dorff) who re-examines his life after his 11-year-old daughter (Elle Fanning) surprises him with a visit. In case you guys don’t know, Sofia Coppola is the goddess of cinema.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

R.I.P. Sidney Lumet

Sidney Lumet 1924-2011

Sidney Lumet 1924-2011

Legendary director Sidney Lumet has died at the age of 86. The New York Times reported early Saturday that Lumet, a four time Oscar nominee, died of lymphoma.

He is best known for 12 Angry Men (1957), Serpico (1973), Dog Day Afternoon (1975), Network (1976) and The Verdict (1982).

Just a few day ago, I received an email from the gZa saying: “Check out a film called NETWORK (Sidney Lumet, 1976)! Daddy as fuck! I can’t believe I’d never seen it until t’other day.”

More details here.

Updates: Prominent industry tributes for Lumet can be read here.

Posted in News |

Goemon | aka The Legend of Goemon (2009) Review

"Goemon" American DVD Cover

“Goemon” American DVD Cover

AKA: Goemon: The Robin Hood of Japan
Director: Kazuaki Kiriya
Writer: Kazuaki Kiriya, Tetsuro Takita
Cast: Yosuke Eguchi, Takao Osawa, Ryoko Hirosue, Gori, Eiji Okuda, Eiji Okuda, Kazuaki Kiriya, Jun Kaname, Masato Ibu, Hashinosuke Nakamura, Susumu Terajima, Mikijiro Hira, Tetsuji Tamayama, Choi Hong-man
Running Time: 128 min.

By Ningen

A revisionist take on the titular legendary Japanese thief, this Hero/300-esque follow-up from the director of the live-action Casshern emphasizes his role in Japan’s warring state era, and suggests he was an ex-ninja for historical warlord Oda Nobunaga, before setting out on his own path.

Nobunaga’s successor, Hideyoshi, is not a very popular leader, and there are already plans in affects from rival factions to take him out. Goemon’s, at first, not really aligned either way, and just plundering storehouses to give money to the poor. But when his latest heist leads to an innocent peasant getting killed, he takes the woman’s son as his charge, and literally strikes a blow against the regime.

This entangles him with a conflicted vassal by the name of Saizo whom Goemon served with under Nobunaga. Then there’s Oda’s niece, Lady ChaCha, who is being pressured to marry Hideyoshi, even though she and Goemon had a special bond which transcends the typical master and servant relationship. In addition, ChaCha and Saizo’s loyalty to Hideyoshi get further tested as the leader becomes drunk with power.

For viewers concerned about lacking prior historical knowledge of the setting, you’ll be relieved to know that Goemon plays loose with details to fit its own narrative; so you don’t have to worry about “getting” it. On the other hand, Japanophiles might be a little more irked that Kiriya, the director, doesn’t go with a traditional samurai motif, as you can see European and Chinese cinematic influences in the outfits and set designs. Those aren’t bad touches mind you, but if you’re a purist expecting something closer to Kurosawa or Yoji Yamada, you might want to just rent their stuff instead.

But if you’re looking for a modernized fantasy take of classic source material, a la Prince of Persia, then Goemon might be for you.

Goemon features vivid, sweeping landscapes and bright, elaborate costumes which just scream “exotic”. The fights are epic in scale, and very intense, particularly in close-combat. The swords and arrows really connect, and even though the execution might seem a bit “video game-y”, there’s no attempt to mess with the credibility of the action sequences.

If there are any issues with Goemon, I would say it delves a bit too much into different arguments about war and peace and society vs. anarchy. Also, ChaCha comes off a bit tacked-on, and doesn’t really add anything important to the main story. But if you can overlook those issues, then you’ll easily be dazzled by the various visual sights in Goemon.

Ningen’s Rating: FX: 9/10 Set Designs: 9/10 Action: 8/10 Story: 7/10 Overall: 7/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

New Legend of Shaolin, The | aka The Legend of the Red Dragon (1994) Review

"The New Legend of Shaolin" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The New Legend of Shaolin” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Wong Jing
Cast: Jet Li, Chingmy Yau, Tse Miu, Deannie Yip, Yeung Wai, Johnny Wang, Chan Chung Yung, Adam Cheng, Damian Lau, Chu Ko, Ji Chun Hua, Jacqueline Ng, Corey Yuen, Chiu Gwok, Wong Jing
Running Time: 94 min.

By JJ Hatfield

I watched this film a few years back and recalled thinking it would be a long time before I watched it again. So I checked some notes and put it on my trusty Oppo. That old feeling came back to me… It really doesn’t start off too bad. The plot though is extremely convoluted and the pacing is like riding in a car with a first time user of a standard transmission. There were some actually funny moments but mostly Wong Jing moments.

Jet on the other hand is almost too serious or maybe he was depressed from being in the movie. Jet is really the only good thing about this movie. He seems to think it is real(as a character). Watching Jet is the best thing about this flick so watch him while he is the focus. I confess to being annoyed with the tattooed kids and by the time the wtf? car arrives on the scene I just don’t care anymore. Jet has made so many great films you wonder how he ended up in this Wong Jing silliness.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 4/10


By Woody

Ahhh, the summer of 1997, I will never forget that one. I was ten years old, and, fueled by Hong Kong chopsocky flicks and the musical stylings of The Wu Tang Clan, determined to become a certified kung fu master. Unlike others, who would simply sign up for karate at the local Junior College, I was determined to do it on my own, laughing at them for working so hard for material possessions like belts and trophies. I, of course, was not laughing when they beat the holy hell out of me, but that’s another story all together.

Anyways, I worked hard at becoming a kung fu master. I watched every badly dubbed old school chopsocky and every badly subbed bootleg I could get my hands on. I read the “Tao of Jeet Kune Do” twelve times, front to back (without understanding a single word). I broke fingers, toes, and knuckles countless times practicing forms on my mother’s coat racks. I ate enough ramen to feed North Korea ten times over. I was determined.

It was during this summer that I discovered Jet Li. It was during this summer that I gave up on kung fu.

It was a typical summer day. I was in my room, clad in in my Chinese slippers and orange tracksuit (they didn’t have any yellow ones at the store). Having just finished watching a rented copy of “Police Force”, my favorite Jackie Chan moment at the time, I decided to return it and rent another movie, so I hopped onto my modified lowrider Huffy and pedaled away.

Looking through the aisles of movies in the action section, I was confronted with the same titles as usual…”Rambo”, “Hard Death”, “Alien Predator”, and “Angel Cops.” But two titles in particular caught my eye, new arrivals entitled “The Shaolin Temple” and “The New Legend of Shaolin.” Both starred “Jet Lee, world wushu champion.” They looked like quality fare. I grabbed them up, payed my two bucks, raced home, took a piss, got my dick got in the zipper, got my dick out of my zipper, ran into my room, and popped in “The Shaolin Temple.”

My jaw was wide open in disbelief for days afterward. I was beyond stunned, and my belief in my martial skills were a bit dashed. These guys could do flips onto their heads! I decided, none to wisely I might add, that doing flips onto my head was the answer to martial success.

Long story short, I was covered in blood and had to get stitches. Laying in bed, I noticed a tape lying next to the VCR. Shit, I had forgotten to watch and return “New Legend of Shaolin.” I yelled for my mother, and she fed it into my VCR.

It was a pretty painful experience. The first words out of my mouth were “RIP-OFF”, as Wong Jing lifted the entire opening from a favorite movie of mine, “Shogun Assassin.” From there, it only got worse. Terribly-done wire-fu, scatological “humour”, and no suspension of disbelief made it one of the worst films I had ever seen. Not accustomed to the filmic achievements of Wong Jing, I was ill prepared for the daunting task of watching one of his movies. Besides some cool kiddie kung-fu, it was unendurable. And the villain! This dude belonged in a Ninja Turtles video game, not in a Jet Li flick! He drove around in some ancient car and had a pizza face from getting burnt and it was horrendously bad.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and had a serious talking-to with myself.

“Jonathan, you’ve been ‘in training’ for over a year and you still get beat up by eight-year olds in their first year of karate class. ‘The Tao of Jeet Kune Do’ makes no fucking sense, case closed! Your refusal to watch anything but martial arts movies has resulted in you watching shit like “New Legend of Shaolin.” Your head is aching after you did a backflip onto a concrete sidewalk. You will never attain the level of skill that this Jet Lee guy apparently has. Give it a rest, man.”

I was pretty depressed for quite the long while, until my friend Betty got me a present. A compact disc. Raekwon “Only Built 4 Cuban Links.” I put it on the song “Incarcerated Scarfaces”, which I had heard on the radio and really liked. There was a sample at the beginning, something apparently from a crime flick, and it had a definite “dubbed” feeling to it. I soon learned it belonged to a John Woo flick, “The Killer”, and I immediately rented it. The bad taste left in my mouth by “New Legend” soon washed away, replaced by the mouth-watering ultra-violence of John Woo.

All in all, I have regained my love of chopsocky flicks, but my youthful innocence is no more. I no longer aspire to be an ass-kicking celibate world-walking dubbed-talking kung fu master. My only aspirations as of now are to land a hot girlfriend who can cook, get a job, and get into college.

Woody’s Rating: “New Legend of Shaolin” drained the joy out of kung-fu movies for me, and for that, I can only see fit to award it a rating of 1.5/10


By Numskull

To keep my review of this shitty movie from being too one-sided, I’d like to introduce my new sidekick, Otto the Fuckwit Newbie.

NUMSKULL: This is the first of Jet Li’s HK films that I’ve seen, and if I didn’t know that he was capable of better than this, it would also be my last.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Jet Li in movie! hong Kong movie. Hong Kong in CHina, so Jet Li in China Jet Li chinese.

NUMSKULL: Jet Li’s character disqualifies himself for the Father of the Year award by telling his two-year old son in the beginning of the film that he must choose between a knife and a wooden horse. If he chooses the knife, they will become traveling warriors together. If he chooses the horse, Jet will send the boy to Hell (in his own words). To no one’s great surprise, the kid grabs the knife.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Knife or horse? horse or knife? It is life or death. knife

NUMSKULL: Jet Li and his boy (who ages a few years after Jet kills some guy) find themselves hungry and penniless. So Jet starts working for a rich guy who says “Bullying others is the origin of joy.” Jet decides that bullying people isn’t a noble thing to do (unlike threatening to kill his own son) so he tells the guy that he will only serve as a bodyguard.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Jet lI work for rich man. rich man money

NUMSKULL: Meanwhile, a mother-and-daughter con artist team move in with the rich guy. The daughter convinces him that her mom is dead and so they arrange to get married so that Mom can have a proper burial. However, Mom is not really dead, and she has secret meetings with her daughter where they both fart and share stolen food and jewelry. When Mom is on her own, she reaps the benefits of her daughter’s subterfuge, saying: “Wow! So big! My daughter is so nice, she knows I love eating chicken ass. She is great to get the giant one for me.”

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: 2 ladys live with rich guy. mom is died but not realy. I try to eat chicken ass because this movie. next time i will make sure the chicken is dead first.

NUMSKULL: Jet Li and his boy have a heartwarming father-son talk in which they sit right next to each other and Jet mentions that he is not wearing any underwear. His son has bigger problems, though…five kids from the Shaolin temple with portions of a treasure map tattooed on their backs keep bullying him. He says “I won’t fight” and then fights them all about 30 seconds later. But when the Shaolin kids are found by the government, all hell breaks loose and almost everyone in town is slaughtered. Jet then must take the two women and all six kids out of harm’s way.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: kids figh t

NUMSKULL: The government troops are aided by a renegade former Shaolin student who has perpetually melting skin and drives around in a car that looks like the Batmobile in “shield” mode from the first Tim Burton movie, but with sharper angles, and wrapped in aluminum foil. And yes, this IS supposed to be a period film.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Bad Guy in shiny car. I like to drive car

NUMSKULL: Everyone involved…well, Jet mostly…must fight for their life in the climactic battle, in which Molten Men tracks down our heroes. The fight scenes in the film are not the least bit exciting, and they are shameless in their use of wires and other stupid little tricks.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: WOW! jet li can FLY! he is superman

NUMSKULL: Not recommended, not one little bit. Stupid, boring, pointless, pathetic. Lines like “My ass stinks, it’s horrible, don’t eat mine” fail to help matters. Surely one of Jet Li’s lesser efforts.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Jet LI movie! Me like movie. movie good! movie good!

Numskull’s Rating: 3/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |