“Ninja Assassin” Korean Theatrical Poster
Director: James McTeigue
Cast: Rain, Naomie Harris, Ben Miles, Rick Yune, Sho Kosugi, Sung Kang, Randall Duk Kim, Linh Dan Pham, Ill-Young Kim, Yuki Iwamoto, Stephen Marcus
Running Time: 99 min.
By Mighty Peking Man
If any of the following statements apply to you, then chances are, you definitely went through a “ninja phase” in the 1980s:
1. You had a copy of Revenge of the Ninja playing religiously in your VCR.
2. You bought martial arts magazines just for the advertisements that featured ninja weapons.
3. You dressed as a ninja for Halloween (which meant a black T-shirt wrapped around your head… at least for me).
4. You owned blunt ninja stars, hand claws, and ninja shoes that you purchased from your local swap meet.
5. “Only A Ninja Can Destroy A Ninja” was the coolest quote ever.
Remember the magic you felt while watching those Sho Kosugi flicks like Revenge of the Ninja? Or how about Duel to the Death and Five Element Ninjas? Well, if you’re hoping to revisit that same magic with Ninja Assassin, get ready for absolutely NOTHING.
Yes, Ninja Assassin has a fair amount of violence and extreme gore. Yes, it brings ninjas back to the big screen; Yes, the film’s poster is extremely cool; And yes, Sho Kosugi, the ninja actor that every child idolized, has a beefy part – it’s just too bad that all of this adds up to about 2 hours of soulless shit.
Honestly, the film’s slick trailer is as good as it gets. The plot blows… okay, I know, I know, it’s a martial arts movie, right? Well, yeah, but there’s no martial arts that can be deciphered. In fact, why even pay a professional fight choreographer if your camera is zoomed in at 200% against someone’s nutsack? And I’m not even going to mention the nighttime/darkly lit settings. Seriously?
I guess I should be used to a disappointment. I keep on forgetting that most Hollywood action films are catered for average knuckle-heads who saw Transformers 2 on opening day, and watched Avatar six times in the theaters. Give these fools some cgi hira-shuriken, buckets of blood, and multiple beheadings, and they’ll think it’s the best movie ever.
The lead, Rain, a Korean pop singer/actor, physically fits the role and handles the martial arts scenes well (from the 3 seconds that are visible). However, when the guy opens his mouth, he sounds a little too feminine to be the lead in an action movie. He reminds me of one of those Asian guys who does women’s nails for a living. And uh, get a last name, prick.
What a waste of an ultra-cool title for an ultra-lame movie. James McTeigue, Joel Silver, The Wachowskis; go f*ck yourselves!
Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 2/10 (1 point for Sho Kosugi, 1 point for Naomie Harris)
By American Ninja Man
More ninja and less ass. Thank you.
First of all, Ninja Assassin has but one saving grace, and that is Sho Kosugi; when he appeared on screen, I was excited; too bad he wasn’t the focal point and the far less-interesting Rain was.
The fight sequences are okay, and there is a cool opening; but aside from some adequate action and guys in black jammies kicking the crap out of each other the, film takes far too much time with the ridiculous CIA subplot investigating the ninjas, and that detracts from what enjoyment one can get from such a movie.
Also, did I mention how lame Rain is? Is he trying to pay homage to the pink ninja from Mortal Kombat? If so, he sure did a good job because he was one lame ninja.
Seriously, if this thing floats your boat, rent American Ninja or Revenge of The Ninja again; I mean at least those films actually have a ‘ninja’ presence, plus both are fun in a shits and giggles kind of way.
The fact this doesn’t live up to the Kosugi/Dudikoff standards is surprising, but it goes without saying that this has nothing on Shaw Bros’ (gods of cinema, as far as I’m concerned) Five Element Ninjas – it’s equally gory and it has great fight sequences. This one just has Sho Kosugi and some dipshit named Rain, which is why those ninja flicks I mentioned live on with a cult following, while this one just tries too hard.
Also, for a ninja film this thing takes itself way too seriously and really, nobody wants to see a ninja film that’s trying to be Shakespeare.
American Ninja Man’s Rating: 5/10
Crap.. I just bought this film second-hand today in a pile of films at a market .. Because it had a quote on the back saying “The best ninja film ever made” .. What a sucker I am .. Atleast I also got Gary Daniels in Fatal Blade and three Seagal films – Above The Law, Hard To Kill and Out For justice..
As the old proverb goes, never judge a movie by the quote on the cover. 😛 I actually find ‘Ninja Assassin’ to be a guilty pleasure, and think its a lot of fun. I reviewed it back on the Kung Fu Fandom forums back in 2017 for an ‘Unpopular Opinion’ thread, my opinion being that it’s actually a good movie! Copied below –
Take a 2009 movie about ninjas, made by Hollywood, with a K-pop star in the lead role…then for good measure throw in copious amounts of CGI blood, and ensure the fight scenes are shot mostly in the dark. Not only will you be left with ‘Ninja Assassin’, but you’ll also have a laundry list of tropes that fans of martial arts cinema will be guaranteed to absolutely hate. It’s fair to say that many did, for all of the reasons listed, and some reviews found even further reasons for complaint.
As a martial arts fan myself, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d also hate ‘Ninja Assassin’. But, much to my surprise, upon first watching it in the cinema, and subsequent watches since then, I unashamedly declare myself a huge fan of ‘V for Vendetta’ director James McTeigue’s 3rd movie. Why? Well, let’s be clear that all of the points initially listed are true. The real question is are any of those factors truly reasons to complain by themselves, or is it more a case that so many movies deliver such poor examples of said points, that a stigma became attached to them which had many writing off ‘Ninja Assassin’ before it had even been released.
‘Ninja Assassin’ was the brainchild of the Wachowski (used to be) Brothers, who were so impressed with K-pop star Rain’s performance in their movie ‘Speed Racer’, that much like Steven Soderbergh would do with Gina Carano in ‘Haywire’ 2 years later, they decided to build a whole movie around him. The late 00’s seemed to be a peak for fans of the genre to complain about pop stars taking roles in martial arts movies, even though, let’s be honest, the practice has always been a common one. Guys like Aaron Kwok and Andy Lau are two of the most famous Canto-pop singers of all time, yet no one complained when they were cast in the likes of ‘The Bare Footed Kid’ and ‘Magic Crystal’ (but hey, maybe that’s just because the net wasn’t around back then). Most likely the voices of dissent became much more noticeable in the late 00’s, because there was a distinct absence of real martial arts talent to grace the screens, which suddenly made the presence of ‘pretty boy pop stars’ that much more noticeable than it had been before.
Rain may not have been a trained martial artist, but the guy put in the hours to get in shape for the role, a whole 6 months of them. Training under a team which included ‘John Wick’ director Chad Stahelski, after half a year of ninja training, the guy cut a chiseled figure that looks every inch the character that the title suggests. As an assassin that’s been trained since birth by a domineering and cruel ninja master, played by Cannon ninja legend Sho Kosugi, when he decides to split ties with his clan and try to live a life of peace, needless to say it doesn’t come easy. Not even 5 minutes of ‘Ninja Assassin’ has gone by, and some poor saps face has been cut in half by a shuriken, and this hyper violent blood drenched death scene sets the tone for the rest of the runtime.
Bodies are sliced in half, impaled, stuffed in laundry machines, and all manner of gruesome goodness. Yes it’s all done with CGI, but somehow it works, adding to the almost cartoon level of gore rather than distracting from it. The action itself though, speaking purely for the physical elements of it, are both CGI and wire free. ‘Ninja Assassin’ contains at least 2 fantastic set pieces, my favorite of which takes place in the basement of a safe house that’s been infiltrated by ninjas, and has Rain unleash with a chain whip like weapon adorned with a scythe blade on the end. There’s some great choreography on display, matched with some fantastic camerawork that films everything from a distance, and utilizes slow motion to dazzling effect. The fact that it ends with a chase on foot down a highway, against traffic, is just the icing on the cake.
Now in 2017, perhaps more than any other time, for those that hated ‘Ninja Assassin’ the first time around, it may be the opportunity to give it another go. In an era where the hot topic of whitewashing never seems to be too far away, here we have a big budget mainstream Hollywood action movie with an Asian lead, and he’s even given a love interest in the form of black British actress Naomie Harris. Sure nobody wants to hear about the romantic angle of an action movie, but I really enjoyed the fact that race plays no part at all in their relationship (something that not even ‘Romeo Must Die’ could avoid, although admittedly in that movie it’s more by design), both characters simply develop feelings for each other as a ninja on the run and a cop respectively.
If none of what’s already been stated though are enough to either change your mind on ‘Ninja Assassin’, or at least tempt you to check it out, then you have a finale that has a military backed tactical unit descend on a ninja temple in the Japanese mountains, and they’ve brought rocket launchers. Ninjas versus rocket launchers! What are you waiting for?
7/10
Uh JJ, can we sort out this transphobe right here? ^^^^
Magic Crystal with Any Lau is really good.. But its an ensemble and he isn’t the real martial arts lead, thats Cynthia Rothrock.
Your views on race make no sense, or they are at-least incoherent. On one hand you praise the film for its specific racial choices (Asian starring in Ninja film, how brave) and yet praise them for race not being an issue between the lead and romantic interest (which is just unrealistic). Do you want something that reflects life or a piece of propaganda?
I think you are far more open to the modern forms of martial arts cinema .. And maybe thats why we sit on different sides of the Adkins dividing line? Will we always be so tragically divided? Im hoping my Jeff Wincott scrapbook turns you around.
“Uh JJ, can we sort out this transphobe right here?”
Can you elaborate on what you mean by this? A transphobe is someone who has a prejudice against transsexual or trangenders, neither of which is reflected in my comments.
“Your views on race make no sense, or they are at-least incoherent. On one hand you praise the film for its specific racial choices (Asian starring in Ninja film, how brave) and yet praise them for race not being an issue between the lead and romantic interest (which is just unrealistic). Do you want something that reflects life or a piece of propaganda?”
I’m not clear on what your implication is here. So you’re saying that casting an Asian as a ninja is no great shakes, however portraying a romantic relationship between an Asian and a black person is unrealistic (and propoganda). Have I understood you correctly?
First off, the comment to JJ was clearly a joke!
Secondly, I was saying that your views on race are incoherent. Yes, I think that the relationship sounds unrealistic when at no point is it remarked upon. Its a major cultural clash and therefor doesn’t represent how Asian cultures would actually feel about it. This is probably a piece of progressive propaganda. Thats what Hollywood does.
Am with you on this, Paul.
Don’t quite get the hate for this movie. And I own the blu ray too and have watched AND enjoyed it many times!
“here we have a big budget mainstream Hollywood action movie with an Asian lead,”
EXACTLY! A NINJA movie…a FREAKING.NINJA.MOVIE that had a major studio and budget behind it, giving it the type of gloss, polish and production values you couldn’t dream of 20 years ago…because let’s face it,most Ninja movies looked and sounded cheap as fuck, as you’d expect films which are essentially a sub-genre of a sub-genre of a genre to be. The catering budget of Ninja Assassins alone could have funded Ninja 3: The Domination.
I respect Mighty Peking Man’s opinion of the movie but need to comment on this:
“However, when the guy opens his mouth, he sounds a little too feminine to be the lead in an action movie”
Errr…Rain’s speaking voice was actually pitched a little deeper in the film although he comes across as more tenor-ish in interviews. Unless the standards we’re setting is, anyone who’s pitched slightly higher than James Earl Jones or Michael Clarke Duncan is considered feminine-sounding
I also liked Ninja Assassin. Even though the editing and camera work was not the text book example of how to film an action movie, I never felt like I couldn’t see the action in front of me, and had a general idea of what was going on.
It’s disappointing that Rain didn’t get to headline more Hollywood movies as he showed a true potential.