Interceptor (2022) Review

Director: Matthew Reilly
Cast: Elsa Pataky, Luke Bracey, Aaron Glenane, Mayen Mehta, Paul Caesar, Belinda Jombwe, Marcus Johnson, Zoe Carides, Kim Knuckey, Deniz Akdeniz
Running Time: 92 min.

By Paul Bramhall

I have to be honest, writing about Matthew Reilly in 2022 is not something I saw coming. To give some background, way back in 2000 my friend lent me a book, handing it over with the ominous words “You have to read this.” The book was called Ice Station, the second novel penned by Reilly (then billed as Matt Reilly), and indeed it was like nothing I’d ever read before. A 500 plus page action adventure penned with the enthusiasm of someone who lived on a diet of Red Bull, and featuring all of the narrative logic of an over excited 10-year-old. It was, however, highly entertaining. The brazen fact that Reilly seemed to ignore every rule in the book (pun intended) when it came to narrative cohesion saw me laughing one minute (a character with a prosthetic leg detaching it to appear as if they’d been blown up), to feeling completely numb the next (a ridiculous hovercraft chase that goes on for over 30 pages!).

I read a couple more of Reilly’s subsequent novels before the constant manic energy and silliness lost its novelty, and so it was he slipped into the recesses of my memory banks. Imagine my surprise then, when in 2022 it turns out he’s stepped into the director’s chair and helmed his first feature, landing direct to Netflix in the form of Interceptor. Naturally, curiosity got the better of me. While I was aware many of Reilly’s novels have had the rights purchased by various studios, it’s less of a surprise that none of them have made it to the screen, more than likely due to the fact it’d require a mega budget to realise the action sequences. So it is here we get a stripped-down action vehicle, or as I like to refer to it in a slightly more blunt manner, another entry in the Netflix produced green screen action flick (for reference, see all the “globe hopping” in the likes of 2021’s Red Notice).

This time we’re on a missile interceptor station in the middle of the ocean, and when those pesky Russians decide to launch 16 nuclear missiles to wipe the U.S. off the map, the station becomes “the only thing standing between America and Armageddon.” Thankfully an army captain played by Elsa Pataky (12 Strong, Fast Five) has been transferred to the base on the same day, and in the tradition of John McClane and Casey Ryback, the terrorists who attempt to take control weren’t counting on her putting a spanner in the works (or a gun barrel lodged in the eye for that matter, which actually happens). On head villain duty is Luke Bracey (Hacksaw Ridge, Point Break), who spends almost the entire runtime on the other side of 2 heavily fortified doors, speaking to Pataky through an intercom in an attempt to convince her to open them (as thrilling as it sounds), while his lackeys attempt a more direct approach.

One such direct approach involves a head shakingly baffling moment that sees a random kung fu guy leap up from a door in the floor (written in true Matthew Reilly style) and start busting out the moves against Pataky and the crew. The scene makes slightly more sense when you realise its fight choreographer Tim Wong giving himself a gratuitous cameo. Speaking of gratuitous cameos, we also get executive producer and (more importantly) Pataky’s real life husband Chris Hemsworth making a series of truly bizarre appearances as a surf dude styled department store TV salesman. Despite the pseudo-macho serious tone of everything else, when the terrorists take over the U.S. TV channels, we get a series of cutaways to Hemsworth’s goofy TV salesman’s comedic reaction shots. He even gets a post-credits sequence all to himself which consists of him sat in a massage chair in the middle of the store. Why? Who knows.

Such creative decisions though are ultimately what leads to Interceptor’s unique charm. The misguided ambitions of a first-time director attempting a movie which aims to be both serious and light-hearted at the same time results in the first legitimate piece of “so bad it’s good” filmmaking of the 2020’s. Everything about Interceptor is just slightly off kilter enough that you keep watching, from the blatantly green screened interceptor station, to the oddly scripted dialogue. Almost every line that comes out of Pataky’s mouth is either a one-liner or some macho sounding nonsense (I think I counted at least 4 variations of the “you planned everything, but you didn’t plan for me” line spoken during the runtime). 

At its most hilarious, as one of the initial scenes fades out in which Pataky is greeted at the station, we hear her colleague say, “I heard you grew up in Spain at a base your father was posted at.” Apart from at least half of that sentence being redundant, less than a second later we get Pataky’s first spoken line laced with an undeniable Spanish accent, almost as if as an audience we needed to be given a heads up it was coming. Indeed the script is a constant source of amusement, exasperated by Reilly’s ham-fisted attempts to include topical issues like the #metoo movement, racial and religious discrimination, and skewered concepts of patriotism. We learn of the harassment Pataky suffered at the hands of a senior officer through a torturous monologue delivered by Bracey, complete with flashback scenes, and despite the serious nature of what’s being discussed, the fact that it’s delivered as a taunt makes it laughable.

Of course Interceptor is really about the action, but even in this department the feeling is one of being underwhelmed. Sam Hargrave, the stuntman turned director who helmed 2020’s Extraction, is here billed as an ‘Action Consultant’. One of those slightly distanced credits that reminded me of Chad Stahelski’s vague comments on his involvement with The Matrix Resurrections (“I’m helping out a little bit for a sequence” was his response when asked), what exactly Hargrave’s involvement was is hard to ascertain from the final product. The fight scenes are repetitive and bland, even if credit has to be given for the imaginative ways some of them end, and the whole one-set location doesn’t lend itself to offering up much variety in such a closed environment. Plus, that damned script can’t keep itself away, with scenes that see Pataky facing off against a burly Russian being ruined with lines like “You’re a big boy, aren’t you?”

While it would be difficult for any actor or actress to convincingly deliver the dialogue written for Pataky’s redemption seeking army captain, it’s difficult to call her performance here anything other than terrible. A scene in which she’s faced with her father who’s been taken hostage literally had my finger trembling over the stop button, such was the embarrassment I felt while watching it, and her switches from cool headed bravado to anger fuelled vitriol are about as convincing as a bad Steven Seagal performance. Bracey barely fares much better, the majority of his screen time limited to talking through a thin slither of window in a fortified door, as a villain with daddy issues and a speciality in torture he fails to come across as even mildly threatening. 

The real nail in the coffin for Interceptor though is just a blatant lack of care around attention to detail. We get upside down army stripes on uniforms, when Pataky arrives in a green screened helicopter they didn’t even bother to put a fan in front of her to feign wind, so the scene is completely static, and someone really should have quality checked the CGI nuclear missiles, I mean, they have to be seen to be believed. Special mention should also go to Pataky’s graffitied apartment that we see in a flashback scene, of which one spray painted section reads “We came on your pillow and we are coming for you.” Inspired stuff.

Interceptor is one of those movies in which you question if anyone involved will ever work in the industry again, however for some of them we already know the answer to that question is yes. An almost non-stop barrage of surreal incompetence, misguided storytelling, and substandard action, the sheer level of awfulness Reilly’s debut manages to reach means there’s likely enjoyment to be had with a couple of beers close to hand and the company of others who appreciate this kind of niche cinema. For everyone else though, as of the time of writing Interceptor is the number 1 watched movie on Netflix, so chances are you’ve already seen it.

Paul Bramhall’s Rating: 3/10