Drunken Master III (1994) Review

Posted on January 24, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Drunken Master III" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Drunken Master III” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Drunken Master Killer
Director: Lau Kar Leung
Cast: Willie Chi Tin Sang, Michelle Reis, Lau Kar Leung, Gordon Liu Chia Hui, Adam Cheng Siu Chow, Andy Lau Tak Wah, William Ho Ka Kui, Giorgio Pasotti, Lau Kar Yung, Bradley James Allan, Simon Yam
Running Time: 91 min.

By Reefer

The beautiful, but bratty, Michelle Li was about to become a princess. She received the jade ring from an evil king and she believed her life was just about to improve when a revolutionary played by Andy Lau kidnaps her. While escaping an attack by the king’s men, lead by the ever-bald Gordon Liu, Michelle is placed in the care of Wong Ki-ying and his soon-to-be legendary son Fei-hung.

It is here that DM3 falls into the familiar setting of the other films of the series. Miscommunication, out-right lies, and mistaken identity are again common place. Add to that a scene that was gratuitously lifted by Sam Raimi for this year’s Spiderman. The scene shows Andy Lau clinging to ceiling rafters while Gordon Liu’s evil general stands below. A drop of blood almost hits him but is skillfully fended off by Ki-ying. Later on, Michelle Li tries to pass herself off as a man on a cross-country trip with Fei-hung. Then later, there are lies about her being pregnant (another plot idea taken from DM2) for attempted comic effect. This film seems content on piling absurdity on top of absurdity until the entire production almost collapses under the stress of its own narrative.

Only after the one-hour mark does the audience get treated to any sign of Michelle Li’s human qualities. Before that, she is bitchy and bratty, often threatening to have people castrated or shot when she becomes queen. She is lightened up considerably when a group of children help her realize that being queen won’t bring her happiness by itself. A very well done scene in a film that was in need of one. I know, sounds like one of those corny warm and fuzzy moments, but I will continue to be a sucker for them.

Willie Chi as Fei-hung is no Jackie Chan or Jet Li, but few are. He has the boyishness of Chan’s character down, but lost is the physicality or even a hint of the stoicism or nobility of Jet Li’s adaptation. I think I should note that the presence of so many other characters also serves as a testament to Willie’s lack of star power. Chi offers fans of the character only a hollow grin which would be fine if you movie wasn’t so centered on he and Michelle’s bickering relationship.

As traveling companions, Chi and Li have more of a brother and sister appeal. Fei-hung seems more interested in his skateboard (?) and Li is too winey and self-obsessed for any believable sparks. Having said that, it’s obvious Fei-hung still has a hero streak in him, as witnessed by a totally odd fight between him and gay bus passenger Simon Yam during the ride. The fighting style here I can only describe as Homo Fu. At the same time, Yam exhibits either greater martial arts skills than I expected or excellent faking skills. The lengthy match is nonetheless ruined because it soon gets reduced to window dressing status in favor of Li’s hi-jinks involving wine-maker Lau Kar-leung and a bunch of pregnant women.

Then finally, all the good guys in the movie and all the bad guys in the movie clash in familiar Drunken Master style. This time it happens during some wacky Halloween celebration put on by those happy-go-lucky patrons of the (dum. . dee. . da . . dum!) White Lotus Sect. Andy Lau gamely appears again just in time to fight with Gordon Liu in a confession booth (?). Pretty soon everyone is strutting their martial stuff.

Despite all the references and links to the series, there really isn’t any alcoholic advantage given to the fighters. Ironically, maybe a buzz would be more beneficial to the audience instead of the performers. A good time waster, not much more.

Reefer’s Rating: 6/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Drunken Master II (1994) Review

Posted on January 24, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Drunken Master II" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Drunken Master II” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Jackie Chan
Co-director: Lau Kar Leung
Cast: Jackie Chan, Anita Mui, Ti Lung, Lau Kar Leung, Felix Wong, Chin Kar Lok, Ho Sung Pak, Ken Lo, Suki Kwan, Lau Siu Ming, Bao Fang, Chan Daat Gong, Cheung Chi Kwong, Mark King, Johnny Cheung, Ho Pak Kwong, Mark Houghton
Running Time: 95/102 min.

By TheFrankEinstein

Jackie Chan is THE MAN. If there was any doubt in your silly little head about that fact, this film will clear you right up. Early on in the movie, it appears that Jackie might be taking it a little easy. Of course, that’s excusable; he was forty years old when he stepped back into the role of Wong Fei-hung that he originally portrayed in 1979’s Drunken Master. At first it appears that time might have finally gotten the better of the cannonball… but then he gets drunk. In case you don’t know, Jackie’s Wong Fei-hung is a practitioner of the Drunken Boxing style of Kung Fu. This includes stances mimicking eight different Chinese Gods, all drunk off their asses. It involves lots of staggering and posture which insinuates holding glasses/jugs of wine, a flute, or perhaps even a bum leg. Fei-Hung’s pretty good at this style sober, but when he gets a little shitfaced, look out.

So, point being, the rather geriatric performance during the first fifteen minutes is intentional, perhaps to lull you into a false sense of kung fu security, so that the erratic martial arts action will catch you off guard and kick you square in the nuts. Then, when compared to the original, Drunken Master 2 excels. Hell, when compared to anything at all, it excels. But the somewhat clunky, obviously choreographed fights of yore give way to the newer high octane all-or-nothing hyper-kinetic caffeinated-monkey-fu. So now, rather than being a labor of love like the older kung fu stuff, watching this is thrilling, unpredictable, mind-bending, and a little frightening. By frightening, I mean that I’ve grown a little paranoid that a small red Chinese man will use me as a wheelbarrow. That’s a rational fear, right? But aha!

The new fighting style isn’t the only addition, as Anita Mui occasionally steals the show as Wong Fei-hung’s mischievous mother. The comedic addition of Fei-hung and mom’s relationship really frees Jackie up (for once) to be a pretty straight bad-ass, and it adds some A-class humor to the movie without dumbing it down or making it too juvenile (damn you, Jar-Jar Binks!) If anyone wants to know how to add comedic interludes to an otherwise fairly serious story, look at this, because they did it very well. I’ll shut my yap now and leave you with this – Not often do you get to see Jackie Chan… Mr. Nice Guy… HONG KONG’S FAVORITE SON… go completely ape-shit. In fact, just the other day I had this to say to my friend: “Friend”, I said, “I’ve won the lottery twice, and been struck by lightning three times, but NEVER have I seen Jackie Chan go totally ape-shit!” and he said “Hey! You’re right! I’ve been hit by seven meteorites, but have I seen Jackie Chan lose it? No!” But that all changed by the end of Drunken Master 2, and now I can die a happy man (who’s also rich, has a bit of a stutter/stammer and glows in the dark.) I’ll leave it at that, you need to buy this sucker right now.

TheFrankEinstein’s Rating: 8/10

By S!DM

Possibly Chan’s best film, and most hyped, Drunken Master 2 brings us back into the world of classic kung fu cinema. Jackie’s Wong Fei Hung, portrayed here as a mischeivious youngun’, has him trying to save one of China’s ancient treasures from being immorally (but not illegally?) exported to Britain by means of the evil British consul (come to think of it, why didn’t Fei Hung just tell the truth or contact the Chinese authorities or gather a band of marauders or…). Well, not much of a plot, but you know that everybody watches Jackie’s movies strictly for the story and not for the painstakingly choreographed fight scenes anyways 😉 This has to be one of the single greatest “fight” movies of all time. I really enjoyed the varied choreography: it seems to encompass every variety of old school rumble:The “one-two-three” school of fighting, The “whooshy Wushu weapons” school, The “wire-fu” school, The “bench-fu”school, And Jackie’s typical variety, which all are great.

Plus, as an added bonus, we get fights directed by Lau Kar Leung AND Jackie Chan…personally, I think the fight underneath the train is one of the greatest filmed fights of all time. But the finale is what gets people onto the edge of their seats. What we see here is so great, so magnificently WONDERFUL, that many people would disobey even their own mothers to watch this again. It took four months to shoot, and was worth every minute of it. Ken Lo vs. Jackie Chan. Ken Lo pummels Chan for quite a time in the most powerful looking kicking sequence I’ve seen. Not many complicated movements here, Ken just shoots out kick after kick before posing the coolest leg raise ever…he really shows his stuff. But surprisingly, many wires are used in the later part of the fight, and this really upset alot of people not keen to floating people.

While this is a cool film, the plot borrows from Young Master, Dragon Lord, and some of his earlier films, such as the infamous “skirt kick” technique.

S!DM’s Rating: 8/10 if you like Jackie’s usual stuff, 9/10 if you like your fighting “old school”, 10/10 if you are a Ken Lo fan, 7.5/10 if you like wire movies, 11/10 if you like your kicking swift and fast.

By Ro

At first I didn’t know what to make of this movie. It’s been rated #1 on most web sites as the best Jackie Chan film ever made, but I was having a hard time seeing it. The subtitles (from Tai Seng video) were almost illegible, making whatever plot and humor the movie had incomprehensible and the fighting was good, but nothing to rave about. Then I got to the final fight scene! In my (admittedly unprofessional) opinion, this is without a doubt the best overall fight scene in any Jackie Chan film I’ve seen to date! Then I watched the entire movie again and I realized what makes it so great (OK, it took me 2 tries – most of you saw it in only one. But in my defense, the subtitles were driving me insane!).

I believe that Jackie set out to make the ultimate Kung Fu movie, using the old fashioned formula (good guy gets beaten up, then whups his opponent in the final battle), and adding all the skill and know-how he gained from decades in the business. In my opinion, he succeeds in his goal. He blends stunts as good as any you’ll see in his current day films, with kung-fu fighting faster and more furious than you’ll see in the old chop-socky movies. He builds on each fight scene, making them harder and more complex, till the film reaches it’s incredible climax. I’m probably the only person to really enjoy he first fight held under the train, then the platform. That’s because I can really appreciate the effort that went into it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to do anything when you can’t stand up straight?!? I do, and my hack hurt just watching them. And the scene with the ax-gang was incredible! But does anybody know why the Manchu officer told him to strip then spit oil (?) on him. I’m not complaining, you understand, I’m just confused.

One final comment on Anita Mui – she is arguably the best actress ever to work with Jackie and this film really showcases her talent. Whether she’s throwing bottles of liquor to Jackie so he can demonstrate ‘drunken boxing’ for her friends, putting one over on her husband, or taking on the Manchu officer one- on-one, she’s one tough momma. She created the most memorable character in the movie, and she did it under the burden of either playing a woman who gave birth while she was still an itch in her Daddy’s pants (if she’s supposed to be his mother), or a woman who has an obscenely close relationship to a stepson her own age. Either way, her acting ability transcended the language (and even the subtitle) barrier!

Ro’s Rating: 10/10

By T-Man

This movie is what watching Jackie Chan movies is all about! It has great fight scenes, a solid plot, great humor, and good stunts. The drunken boxing is both fascinating and humorous to watch. Jackie Chan is arguably at his acting best. Anita Mui also does an excellent job. It is difficult to find a strong second actor in any of Jackie movies (except for Heart of the Dragon), but Anita definitely pulls it off. The fighting is incredible and well-choreographed. The movie also has one of Jackie Chan’s greatest stunts (I’ll leave you to find it). This movie also has some of the best cinematography I’ve ever seen in a Jackie Chan movie. Hollywood wishes they could make a movie this good!

I have one question for those of us who have seen it: Where is everybody at the end?! Jackie is followed by his kung fu friends and a mob of people into the factory, then they all just disappear at the end. Also, if you get the subtitled version, the subtitles are hard to read alot of time. I realize I’m nitpicking here, but the movie is that good. Is it the best Jackie Chan movie? Probably not (I’ll have to watch Dragons Forever again to decide), but it’s darn close!

T-Man’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Dorgon

A few years ago after seeing Rumble in the Bronx, I was attempting to “discover” Jackie Chan and I go into Saturday Matinee and buy myself a $6.99 copy of Drunken Master. Although I can’t read the subtitles and the transfer is really poor, I am duly impressed. So I drove an hour to the trendy video store and I rented Drunken Master 2. Oh yeah.

DM 2 is as perfect a Jackie Chan movie as I have ever seen (at this writing, I’ve seen 14). The top notch fight scenes are intertwined with some fantastic work from Anita Mui as his mother (who is younger than him – must be some sort of Sphinxian [Is this a word?] riddle). There are a few throwaway plot complications, i.e. the stuff in the factory, but this was necessary to setup the final battle.

How would I describe this film? Lightning fast displays of power and grace!!!

The movie is non-stop. It goes direct from great scenes with Anita Mui to an ass kicking fight with Jackie to another great Anita scene to another great Jackie ass kicking. There are no wild car chases here (it is a period piece after all), but they are not missed. Instead, we get to see the perfect movement of Jackie. I read a great line once recently: “Watching Jackie Chan jump from ledge to ledge and from tree to tree is like watching Gene Kelly lie back in an easy chair and you think that it is the most graceful thing you have ever seen.” Amen, brother. This is Jackie’s American in Paris – I will use it for all time as the movie to show people to say “this is Jackie Chan.”

Dorgon’s Rating: 10/10 (but I give the Axe Gang a 6 – never miss….pshaw)

By James H.

Ah yes, this film recalls a time were getting pissed and kicking the shit out of people was socially acceptable. How I wish I could live in such a time. What an incredible movie this is. I want everyone now to thank Jackie for making this movie. By the looks of it, he went through a lot of pain to make this movie. He set himself on fire for us. He crawled across burning hot fucking coals so we could be entertained.

This movie has a great charm to it. I loved everything about this film. It’s a very welcome return to the “old” style kung fu movies. They simply aren’t made anymore. In today’s kung fu movies, the hero is always a cop of some sort. I was blown away by the fighting in this movie. Nothing can compare to Jackie vs. 60 dudes with hatchets. And the end fight is absolutely jaw-dopping! The choreography is the best I’ve seen in a long time. Jackie moves so fast and flows with impeccable rhythm, style and ease.

What was great too was that the version I rented was letterboxed and the subtitles were more legible than usual. The costumes were very cool, I love the styles back then. The sets were great and so was the cinematography, it is beautifully filmed. It’s one movie that shouldn’t be missed.

James H’s Rating: 10/10

By Numskull

HOOOOLLLEEEEEE CRAP!!! OVER-RATED!!!! Heh… well, only a little bit. 2.7 shitloads of people seem to think that this movie is the greatest thing since toilet paper, and folks: in my most humble of opinions, that just ain’t so. It is undoubtedly superior to the first Drunken Master as well as a top tier JC film, but I definitely wouldn’t place it above #3 (I rank Police Story and Project A as #s 1 and 2, respectively).

The plot is the bastard offspring of a menage a trois between Drunken Master, Young Master, and Dragon Lord. The latter two films are currently Buster Keatoning the shit out of each other to determine who the real sharpshooter is, and Drunken Master is trying to prevent its ex-spouse Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow from obtaining visitation rights, which is gonna be tough since they’re practically the same damn movie.

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I was pleased when Jackie and Lau-kar Leung fought (seriously) under the train almost immediately, but then I got Good ‘n’ Fruity…no, Good ‘n’ Plenty…PISSED when Jackie chased him and started playing games with him. “EX-FUCKING-CUSE me? Weren’t these two trying to kill each other 43 seconds ago?” Well, it didnt get off to such a promising start, but neither did Who Am I? and look how much ass it ended up kicking. Now shut your hole and drop the sledge hammer…

Then Jackie fought a man who sells fish. Some of you may find this amusing, but in reality, seafood merchants are very disturbed people. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. How would you feel if people caught notice of your approach from upwind and deliberately kept themselves at a distance from you, even going so far as to step in the excrement of some stray mammal or other, claiming that the smell didn’t bother them? How would you enjoy having hordes of militant leftist lesbian vegetarians with nose rings parading in front of your place of business yelling “Meat is murder!” and “Boycott the butchers!” on a daily basis? How would you like it if the scent of your product was the standard comparison for the aroma that a certain part of the female anatomy develps when it goes unwashed? Please, everyone…let’s all make an effort to extend some common courtesy to the hard-working men and women who put such delicious, nutricious fish in our lunch bags and on our dinner tables, so that their lives may be at least as bearable as those of America’s greatest usung heroes: sewage treatment engineers. Thank you.

Next totally unnecessary outburst of violence over a minor dispute that could have been more easily resolved by discussing the matter over a nice cup of tea: Jackie takes on a bunch of guys in the streets while his mother (who, by the looks of her, gave birth to him while she was a fetus) and her friends toss him various bottles of wine upon which to get thoroughly sloshed, thus boosting his fighting skills.

(Suddenly, Numskull’s consciousness is inexplicably replaced with that of a 38-year old white suburban yuppie mommy!)

I did not think this scene (or this film, for that matter) was very amusing. In fact, I found it downright disgusting! The haste with which the so-called “hero” engaged in a senseless brawl in the middle of a public street was bad enough, but the fact that he unreservedly consumed massive amounts of alcohol to further desensitize himself to the pain he was causing was even worse. What kind of message is this “Jacky Chan” trying to send to our children…that it’s OK to start throwing punches and reach a gross state of intoxication at the drop of a hat?

This film was introduced to my household when it was recommended to my daughter Brittany by a member of her soccer team (whom the court has ordered me not to name). As I understand it, many (sick) people feel that “Drunken Master 2” deserves an honorable place in the pages of cinematic history, but after watching the aforementioned display of gratuitous fisticuffs and substance abuse, I decided that the only place it had in my childrens’ lives was in the garbage can. I’m writing a letter to the inividuals in this “Honk Kong” who are responsible for trashy films like “Drunken Master 2”, and I have asked all my colleagues in the PTA to do the same. Furthermore, I positively encourage all responsible parents whose hard-earned familial harmony has been violated by these filthy “Honk Kong” films to strictly forbid-

(At this point, the mad scientist who has kidnapped Numskull for purposes of mind transfer experimentation experiences technical difficulties. The insidious device malfunctions, allowing Numskull to return to his senses and destroy it, but not before blowing away its deranged inventor. Finally, he tracks down the 38-year-old white suburban yuppie mommy and ventilates the fucking bitch. And enjoys it immensely.)

OK, now that that’s settled, let me just say that I disagree with all the views and opinions expressed by the minivan-driving woman with the hyphenated last name. Now let’s move on to that gem of a scene in which Jackie and Lau-kar Leung are the defenders in a siege on a restaurant with about 67 attackers. Don’t ask why…just enjoy it. It was my favorite part of the movie. By the way, that red fluid that comes out of people’s skin when it gets cut is called “blood”. You don’t see it too often in JC films that don’t have Lo Wei at the wheel, and you may have thought that it was something doctors made up to attribute diseases to, but in fact it is very real. To see just how real it is, take a razor blade and draw it down the veins in your wrist. That warm, syrupy substance that issues forth from the wound and sprays you in the face? That’s blood. It is a necessity for life so for God’s sake don’t deprive yourself of it by slicing up your flesh. That would be just plain foolish.

Now let us inspect the climactic duel with Ken Lo, which involves hot coals, industrial alcohol, and other implements of mayhem which should be kept out of the reach of small children. This may be Jackie’s greatest one-on-one fight scene of all time…it beats the hell out of the one at the end of Wheels on Meals if you ask me (or even if you don’t, in which case fuck you). Wipe my ass and call me pampered if it didn’t make me ache a little just watching it.

Well folks, that wraps up another fun-filled review of another fun-filled JC film. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to my fun-filled torture chamber and spend some more fun-filled time with the makers of that Midnight Thunder Gatorade commercial. Wheeee!!!

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

By Dead Channel

Ahhh shit! My favorite movie of all time, undisputed! I remember reading a little kung fu newsletter back in the day called “Way Of The Fist” … funny I never got anything else from them.. anyway! The letter had a Jackie Chan discography, and I remember seeing “Drunken Master” and “Drunken Master 2” on there… I thought immediately, “I bet that shit is dope!” It had been a long time after that, and my sister was reading the movie section of the newspaper, and said they were showing Drunken Master 2 at this dollar theater! I freaked out of course, never seeing it. Turns out, it was some sort of a benefit, and even though it was at a dollar theater, it costed six bucks. After seeing it, I would have paid sixty bucks had I known how great this movie was (and is) ! Fucking amazing, on the big screen and all…

A few years later, after still wanting the movie on tape but not knowing how to go about getting it, I kinda forgot about it. That is until I went to this indoor flea market they have down the street from my house, and found a little place that sold all kinds of Jackie Chan stuff.. I asked about DM2, and the lady said she was sold out but to come back next week. I didn’t have enough money anyway hahah. She said it was 30 bucks, and that was for the English dub version. I really wanted the subtitled version (the one I saw in the theater) so I kind of forgot about it for about a month. Then one weekend I was like fuck it, I have money in my pocket and I can’t live without that movie one more second! I’ll just get the English dub version I don’t care! So I rolled up there, and asked about it. The lady was all, “I just got some in today.” And I was like, “Hell yeah, sucka!” So I go back to the movie section, and sure e-fucking-nough, they have the SUBTITLED version, and she’s only charging $25 for it!

I busted a nut needless to say, and sped home only to dodge street gangs, police, little kids and rednecks with guns (after I bought the movie of course…) but nothing would stop me now goddamnit. So as soon as I get home I start watching it again, and I was about to cry. It’s so unreal to me… Now, since that was as bit off topic and non-review like, I would just like to say that the scene where Fei-Hung is fighting the gang of guys who stole his mom’s (or is it stepmom?) diamond necklace (thinking it was the jade seal, I assume) and his mom and her friends are throwing Jackie bottles of wine .. he proceeds to get pretty fucked up, and ends up attacking his own dad without realizing it.

This movie has it all. unbelievable fight scenes, comedy, Anita Mui (Elena from Rumble in the Bronx, hah!) and drinking! What more can you ask for already?! All I have to say is, if you haven’t seen this one, you are missing out so hard, that you don’t deserve to own a VCR! Buy (or rent… whatever!) it at any cost, and heed my words. By the way, the best part is when the guy at the English Consolate says, “Here, carry these for me will you?” (and they subtitle that in English!) And a few moments later Jackie drops the “books” and the guy says (it the most rediculously overdone sounding voice), “Why did you drop those books?” Check it out to see what I mean! If you don’t think it’s funny after you see it, crawl in a fucking hole and die, mate!

Dead Channel’s Rating: 10/10

By Eirias

It isn’t often you sit down to watch a Jackie Chan movie with the expectation of watching a really good movie — or indeed, a movie than has any reason to exist without his incredible self. Drunken Master II is not only the best feature of Jackie Chan himself, it is strong all through the cast, and through the story and imagery. Though bits of the story are standard Jackie style goofiness, they work better than usual, partly because he’s working with actors whose comic talents are as good as his.

Anita Mui nearly walks off with the picture as his mother, and Ti Lung lends are terrifying dignity to the dramatic scenes as his father. And, most importantly, the fights are some of the most inspired ever put on film, as Jackie practices his skills in drunken boxing, weaving from side to side as his kicks the bad guys ass. Though I have to admit I haven’t managed to follow the later plot developments leading to the final showdown — because of the old white shirts against white walls while white subtitles play over them — I don’t really care. As Jackie walks into the iron works, a long, flowing white robe draped around him, and a fan in his hand, preparing to fight a long, hard duel with the incredibly Ken Lo…

Eirias’ Rating: 10/10

By Vic Nguyen

Ok, Ok, I admit that I might have gone overboard with my first review of Drunken Master 2. 50/10?! What the heck was I thinking? Well, that was when I first saw the picture. Believe me, opening a brand spank-me new package that contains a laserdisc copy of a Hong Kong movie gets your adrenaline going full blast. Well, now that I have rewatched the film for the 10 dozenth, I was not nearly as excited as when I first saw the film. Instead of a classic, 50/10 must see pic, the film became a good-not-great, 9/10, lets-see-whats-playing-in-the-dollar-movies type films. Don’t get me wrong, the film is still great Jackie Chan, but now that I think of it, it is not his best. Just as Jeff said, the film owes more to Young Master than anything else.

When I first saw the film, the only other Jackie film that I saw at the time was Rumble in the Bronx, and when I saw this film, I thought the fights were the most original things that I have seen. But as I began to indulge into Jackie’s career, watching all of his films and memorizing key moves, camera angles and moments, I realized that they weren’t all that original. A lot of key MOVES, CAMERA ANGLES, AND MOMENTS were lifted in the final fight of Drunken Master 2 from Young Master. If you need more ‘splainin, consult Jeff. But the other fights were original too, the spear fight between Jackie and Lau Kar Leung, the Drunken boxing bout in the town square, and the tea house brawl with an axe gang ruled. But the moments in between are SOOOOO slow. The purpose of them seems to be just to pass time and make critics believe that there is a plot. There are hardly any of the funny, comedic scenes that we all know and love and there is none of the spirit and spunk that was contained in the original.

So, what else is there going for the film besides the fight scenes? It is the performances from all the cast. ( Thank god there is no sign of a bad acting gweilo cast that has plagued Hong Kong movies for years, only those British guys that steal the treasure stuff that take up most of the space between the fights). Anita Mui gives the audience a spirited performance that wins the heart of everyone that sees the film. This performance, perhaps, was to be a change of pace from the bad girl image that the Hong Kong press have labeled her. Ti Lung, one of Shaw Brothers most gifted actors who marks his return (well, a second return, he made his first return in the 80’s with John Woo’s melodrama gangster classic A Better Tomorrow, then disappeared, then came back) in this film gives an excellent performance as Wong Fei Hung’s strict minded father Wong Key Ying. Other great performances include Lau Kar Leung’s portrayal as the former Manchu officer turned rebel, Wong Tat Wah’s performance as Fei Hung’s companion, and Andy Lau’s performance as a high ranking son of a government official (curiously, he is not to be seen again in the film after the first part, this is because Jackie cut out all footage after the first part when he took over as the director).

So, although the film has great fights and good performances, the rest of the film balances the scale downward from a classic to just a required viewing. It looks like the last really great, must see Jackie film is Crime Story, which was made a year prior to this films release. Crime Story, like other classics like Dragons Forever, Project A 2 , Police Story, and Police Story 3: Supercop, contain scene after scene of entertainment that does not let down (notice that all these films received a 10/10) This film has these moments, but not scene after scene. Hopefully, Jackie could prove me wrong and make a film of that calibre again (I’m not asking for non stop fights, just have some comedic scenes to balance it out). Overall, after thinking about it again and again, Drunken Master 2 is not the genius piece of work that I originally thought it was, it is just a flawed genius.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9/10

By Hendri Liato

Chan’s homage to the ‘roots’ that made him a superstar and a legend in Asia is arguably the best Jackie Chan movie ever made. This is Chan’s most coherent film to date, tightly written around a somewhat familiar theme of loyalty and national pride. But don’t worry this is not a polemic on China’s struggle against Western corrupt influences, it’s an ass-kicking bring-the-house-down kungfu movie.

The line between good and evil is clear so that we know when Jackie beats the crap out of a guy, he is one of the bad guys. There are many great sequences in this film. When Jackie first gets into the classic steps of the Drunken Boxing, you feel the adrenaline pumping as that music plays int he background. The two-against-a-million fight at a tea house is jaw-dropping in its furious pace and intensity. And that doesn’t prepare you for the final ‘seeing-is-believing’ fight between Jackie and Ken Lo, which is already legendary and deservedly so. It’s simply one of the most amazingly staged and photographed fight sequences ever committed on film. Less inventive than his best prop fights, it nonetheless shows the full range of martial arts skills that both fighters possess and what martial arts is all about.

This being a JC movie and also the one that features the ‘Drunken Stance’ extensively, there are moments of extreme goofiness –always a HK movie staple and an acquired taste here in the West– that you have to groan and wince through. Fortunately, there are a lot less sadomasochistic comic relief moments that mar the enjoyment of many Chan’s films (worst offenders: OPERATION CONDOR, MR NICE GUY). Anita Mui –in the role of Jackie’s stepmother–plays more of a spoiled 90s material girl in period costume than a gregarious wife of a patriach (Ti Lung) in traditional China. And that what makes her character so hilarious. Mui mocks the old traditional patriach system with her performance while her on-screen character constantly exploiting it to her own advantage. Her comic timing is pitch perfect in this movie and she is an absolute delight to watch.

The fine production design is the most elaborate since MR CANTON AND LADY ROSE and the widescreen compostion captures the bygone era wonderfully. No gravity-defying car crashes, no major property destruction, no hopelessly flailing women. Just lots of classic Chan.

Hendri Liato’s Rating: 10/10

By Dan-O

When I first reviewed DM2 for this fine figure of a Jackie Chan website, I literally had just viewed it for the very first time. If you have had the displeasure of reading my initial review, you might have noticed that I was rather taken by it. It went somthing like this, “HOLEEE CRAP!! ABSOLUTLEY LEGENDARY!! Jackie Chan serves up a heapin’ helpin’ of 100% Grade A, farm fresh, home-made whoop-ass, and washes it all down with about 2 quarts of industrial alcohol!” That was almost 9 months ago. Flash forward to today. I’ve had some time to digest this film a wee bit more. To mull it over, to ponder it’s meaning in the universe as a whole. I still love this movie to death. If you consider yourself to be a Jackie Chan fanboy (or girl), you will do drastic things (such as taking hostages) to procure yourself a copy, legit or not.

But now I actually have somthing negetive to spew about this otherwise gorgeous piece of Hong Kong filmaking. First of all, after having seen TheYoung Master, it becomes blatantly appearant just how derivitive the final fight sequence really is. The wires kinda bugged me too (also from ths last fight scene). Yes I know, this is an acceptable style to Hong Kong audiences, but I just thought it looked out of place in a Jackie Chan flick. Anyway, why does anyone give a steaming pile what I have to say? I’m neither intelligent nor trustworthy. Just go watch the friggin’ film for yourself and formulate your own damn opinion. Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got at least one.

Dan-O’s Rating: 9/10 (nope, no cute rating today)

By Dr. Guajardo

When I heard that Jackie Chan was to make a film with the grandmaster of martial arts films Lau Kar Leung, I didn’t care what kind of film it was going to be as long as I got a chance to see two greats perform. I was not disappointed! The story, the acting, and of course, the fight scenes were top notch! This may well be one of the top ten martial arts films of all time! The story involves a young Wong Fei Hung(Jackie) stumbling upon a scheme by the British government to steal Chinese treasures as revealed to him by the last decorated Manchu soldier played by Lau Kar Leung. There are all kinds of twists and little subplots in the film (Fei Hung still trying to meet his father’s demands, his mother’s gambling, improving his drunken boxing, and so on) that eventually lead to a showdown with the villains.

The fight scenes are probably some of the best staged scenes since ‘Enter the Dragon’ and ‘Chinese Connection’ (and that says a lot!). To describe each and every fight scene would just take too much space. The two that stand out in my opinion however were Jackie fighting alongside Lau Kar Leung in a restaurant against what seemed to be about 300 hatchet carrying assasins. Incredible! The other that stands out is the final fight between the Jackie and the Brit’s top fighter at a steel factory. Jackie doesn’t get any better than this! It is hard to imagine how Jackie will top this one off because so far (in my opinion) he hasn’t. Reportedly there was friction between Jackie and Lau Kar Leung during the filming but you could never tell. Drunken Master II is a MUST HAVE for any Hong Kong, Kung Fu, or Jackie Chan fan! Get it while you can!

Dr. Guajardo’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Drunken Master (1978) Review

Posted on January 24, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Drunken Master" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Drunken Master” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Yuen Woo Ping
Producer: Ng See Yuen
Cast: Jackie Chan, Simon Yuen, Hwang Jang Lee, Lam Kau, Dean Shek, Hsu Hsia, Linda Lin Jing, Tino Wong Cheung, San Kuai, Lee Chun Hwa, Chiang Kam, Fung King Man, Ho Tin Shing, Huang Ha, Max Lee
Running Time: 106 min.

By Mairosu

Is there any genre in this world more prolific than the Hong Kong martial arts one? For decades already the good folks from the ex-British colony delight us with their portraits of fearless heroes and evil villains, cheesy soundtracks, cheap “crash-swish-hack” sound effects and, most importantly, a roller-coaster ninety-odd minutes worth of sheer, harmless, moral-ridden bone-breaking fun.

But then again, there’s only that much clichés which you can swallow. A solid 80% of all kung-fu capers (well, okay, maybe I¹m exaggerating, but it does sound funny if you say something like that) work something like this:

* Young hero/hero/whatever knows good kung fu.

* Young hero/hero/whatever meets a better kung fu guy who beats him up.

* Young hero/hero/whatever goes into seclusion to better his skills.

* Young hero/hero/whatever mauls some local big shot to gain confidence.

* Young hero/hero/whatever meets that better kung fu guy from three lines before and takes his revenge.

And, sure ’nuff, Woo-Ping Yuen’s 1978. film Drunken Master doesn’t fall far from that standard, roughly looked at it. But…but – Drunken Master manages to be different, and it sticks out of the genre by implementing a genuine oriental brand of slapstick humour into the already worn out “kick flick” genre. And from what I hear, it may be also one of the first kung-fu films to come up with the above given filming pattern…although that’s debatable.

The movie tells us the story of young Wong Fei-Hong (played by then relatively unknown Jackie Chan), a Chinese folk hero in historical terms (who happens to be a staple topic of the Chinese film industry – later also played in a more “serious” role by Jet Li in Once Upon a Time in China franchise), and his shenanigans at his father’s martial arts college. Wong is a real rascal – he’s a talented fighter, but spends his free time in a more hedonistic fashion instead of perfecting his kung-fu, which comes back to bite him in the behind when he finally crosses the proverbial line of fatherly toleration and his dad decides to send him off to his uncle as a punishment. Now that might sound like a holiday trip to someone, but not to Wong – his uncle is no one else than the legendary “drunken master” Su Hua Chi (played by Siu Tien Yuen, father of the director Woo-Ping), who has his unique style of kung fu which is most effective when you’re well tanked with alcohol, and his training methods are no cakewalk either. To complete the story, insert an evil kung fu master come hired gun…err, fist called “Thunderleg” (Jang Lee Hwang, who’s quite frankly looking like a Cantonese 70s disco artist), who plays the role of the “better kung fu guy who beats the hero up” and gets arse-whupped in the end.

So as you can, highly substantial fare. But it’s all worthwhile when the kicks start flying. The martial arts on display are typically dazzling (director Yuen choreographed the fight sequences for all three Matrix films and worked on Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as well) and the gentle touches of early Chan brilliance come into spotlight when he learns the “eight drunken gods technique”, and starts beating up baddies while stuttering about, drunk as a skunk which was let loose in a brewery. While Jackie will captivate you with his martial arts trickery, the real delight of the film is Siu Tien Yuen (who was – watch this – 66 years old at the time of the shoot), with his mop-like hairdo and a nose which would make Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer look ordinary, his arsenal of wacky kung-fu moves being a key part to his on-screen appearance. And can that be Bolo Yeung as the restaurant bouncer (I definitely saw that chest muscle routine before) ?

Drunken Master is the film which definitely buried Jackie Chan, the Bruce Lee heir apparent and gave birth to Jackie Chan, the drop-kicking comedian, such being an important landmark in the Asian cinema history. The humour, although evidently present, isn’t as polished as in later Chan films (Project A, Armour of Gods, Wheels on Meals), and the accent in this one is more on fights than on slapstick, but even so it’s well worth of rental and/or purchase. Beware of the Columbia Tri-Star DVD release which is reportedly five minutes shorter than the original and has an incomplete Cantonese voice track which is every now and then “filled” with English dialogue (nothing bad with the dub which is quite fine, just the language switch can be annoying sometimes).

Mairosu’s Rating: 8/10

By Ro

Finally I managed to get hold of a copy of this classic (my Blockbuster had it in the ‘Foreign-drama’ section! Go figure!). Yes, this is the one – the movie that made Jackie a star and changed the course of Hong Kong cinema forever. It’s pretty obvious why – at last Jackie is set free from the bad writing and directing and is allowed to relax and let his natural charm and charisma show. And boy, does it show! You can see the joy he took in the making of this film in every frame!

A lot has been written about this movie, so I won’t go into details. I just want to add that unlike some similar films (Snake In The Eagle’s Shadow & Fearless Hyena), this movie is funny all the way thru. It doesn’t get serious either during the training scenes or at the end like they do. In fact, in the final show-down fight between Jackie and the bad guy hit man, his master sits by the side of the field, shouting out techniques to use, for all the world like a drunken cheerleader. And when Jackie actually stops the fight at one point to confess that he never studied a particular one, he is roundly cursed and told to ‘improvise’! Priceless!!

Before I finish, just a word about the dubbing – it stank!!! I want to take out whoever is responsible for translating this film and shoot him! Do they really think that phrases like ‘Look at the chick’, ‘You’re a shithead’, and ‘Go clean toilets’ sound normal coming out of the mouths of these whatever century they’re supposed to be from men?

Anyway, you have to see this film, if only to see what started it all and see a naturally talented actor come into his own (he must have been naturally talented because he sure didn’t learn from ‘the director that shall be nameless’).

Ro’s Rating: 8/10

By Stockton22

Why do I love this movie?! Why?! I’LL TELL YA WHY! Well, there’s a number reasons, but to start, let’s cut to the to the true epicenter of it all. FIGHTING! To the uninitiated among you, Drunken Master is not a realistic looking fighting film. Rather, it’s typical of its 1970’s Hong Kong period Translation, its a cheesy, low-budget chopsocky flick. So, yes, a lot of the time you’ll see people fighting in that kind of staccato, stop-pop-and-pose chopsocky manner where one guy will block a punch or something and the two guys will hold that position for a second or two before they continue. Yeah, try fighting someone in real life like that, see how well that works.

You’d think that page one in the Shaolin Temple Handbook is “Don’t just stand there and let the guy hit you.” And yes, its all punctuated all those loud sound effects (the swoosh, the pop, et al). That being said, it’s about the best cheesy chopsocky flick you’re likely to see. This comic take on the youth of Chinese legend Wong Fei-Hung, is filled with, quite possibly, the most remarkable abundance of spectacular fighting choreography ever amassed into a single film. I’m saying, not only are the fight scenes great, there’s so many of them! Jackie seems to get into a fight everywhere he goes in this movie. If his teacher says, “Let’s go to town.” it means there’s gonna be a fight in town. I’ll put it this way, when I out for a quart of milk, I come back with a quart of milk. When Wong Fe-Hung goes out for a quart of milk, he’ll beat up two guys along the way and have big showdown with the cashier at the deli.

But another reason I love this movie is, because the fighting keeps you glued, all the cheesy overtones just seem like entertaining bonuses thrown into the whole mix. Example, during Jackie’s punishment through practice scenes, why is there this freaky Greek mandolin music playing? They used the same kind of music in just about every scene of “Hercules in New York,” but in that context it made a little sense. Another thing, all the villains in the movie have names that describe their talents and/or oddities, like a kung fu version of Dick Tracy. Just like Flat Top having a head with a flat top, our main antagonist is a guy with a powerful kick named Thunderfoot, played by Korean martial artist Wang Jang Lee, who bears a remarkable resemblance to Tony Orlando(Anyone ever see the two of them together? Me neither.). I guess that either his parents had foresight, or he adopted it along the way. My guess is he showed up a the office one day, and something like this happened:

* Phil: You know something Bob?

* Bob: What, Phil?

* Phil: I love to kick things. I really love it, I just kick things all the time. Kick kick kick. I’m a kickin’ fool. In fact, you might as well just call me Thunderfoot.

There’s also a guy with a really hard head, who, based on the way he introduces himself, was apparently raised on James Bond films. “They call me Rat. Ironhead Rat.” But my personal favorite is King of Sticks. What’s with this guy? They say, “Who are you?” and he says “KING OF STICKS!” First of all, anybody who proclaims himself to be the king of something has serious insecurity issues, and if there’s any doubt that that’s true, look no farther than Lord of the Dance Michael Flatly.

Second, this guy can’t fight without a stick? Jackie shows up at King’s (or is it Mr. of Sticks?) place, and the guy turns to his lackey and says “Get my Stick!” The next time you get into a fight on the street, see what happens when you say, “Hold up, I’ll fight you guys, but first I have to go home and get my stick.” Throw a Freudian interpretation of that into the whole mix and you got one screwed up bad guy. All this and: the buck-toothed waiter, the fact that in the dubbed version, instead of Fei-Hung, Jackie is called Freddy, Jackie gets hit butt kicked by an old lady, and so much more. I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Stockton22’s Rating: 9/10

By Dead Channel

This one is pure gold. Of course it can’t touch the sequel in terms of moderness/dopeness, but that shouldn’t stop anybody from peeping the “roots”. Hah! It’s just fucking great the way Jackie gets his arse beat by his aunt without him even knowing who she is. Fei-Hong gets into all kinds of trouble in this one, quickly yet ultimately leading up to his dismissal. As mentioned numerous other times, this one is quite similar to Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow. I say because all the actors are the same, and they’re all playing the same parts!

The drunken boxing was held off until the final fight scene, where it isn’t even that explosive (of course, after Drunken Master 2, what is?) granted the time period (Dinasaur age-the 70’s ewwwww!). Hah, in all seriousness, this is the epitome of kung-fu cinema. This is the kind of shit that as a kid I waiting all week for – the saturday kung-fu movie. Remember the time? *Sneef* Anyway, check it out…by any means necessary suckerz!

Dead Channel’s Rating: 10/10

By DJ Nixon

Ok, let me say this, the plot stunk but the action is one of the best you will see in a Chan film. Even though Jackie not a really good kung fu fighter he still gets in some good fights through out the movie. I thought the funniest part was when Jackie ate all of the owner’s food and he didn’t have any money to pay for it, but one thing I don’t get is that the owner and his helpers always try to beat the guy up I he doesn’t pay his bill ( Heart of Dragon), my opinion is that thats pretty stupid but the more action the better. There are some good fights in the movie but the best are when Jackie starts drinking and then beat’s the guys up, and the final fight is the best. Go see this movie it’s definately one of Jackie’s best.

DJ Nixon’s Rating: 10/10

By Numskull

Looks like I’m one of the few who didn’t much care for this (white subtitles made illegible by the picture despite the letterbox format certainly didn’t help). Sure there’s lots of “fighting,” but it’s mostly those damn Buster Keaton routines where Jackie’s opponent is made to look like an absolute dipshit and there’s no serious combat. Plus, Jackie’s character is very diificult to sympathize with… in fact, he’s a reprehensible little prick. And then, towards the end of the movie, a character who we haven’t seen in an hour reveals his diabolical plot to mine Jackie’s father’s property for coal. Of course! From drunken fist kung fu to coal!! It’s where the movie was headed all along!!! This wasn’t a BAD movie but it was definitely disappointing in light of all the hype. I would much rather have spent my time giving the Spice Girls a fully interactive tour of a medieval torture chamber.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By Snake

The old man in one of Jackie Chan’s earliest efforts wasn’t the only one who had too much to drink. The scriptwriters, and we use that term very loosely, must have been tanked when they came up the idea for this piece of nonsense. What I was able to gather from the terribly dubbed and horribly acted film is that Mr. Chan had to visit a fellow resembling Carl “Oldy” Olsen from the Conan O’Brien show for kung fu lessons in order to prepare himself for a climatic scene when he dueled it out with an Elvis impersonator. Elvis’ sideburns put up quite a fight, but the acrobatic Chan, who might have a career with the Flying Walendas should he seek a new line of work, was able to defeat Elvis after consuming mass quantities of some sort of bevergage that the Dukes of Hazzard wouldn’t even tramsport, let alone drink.

At an interminable 90 minutes, the film begs for fast fowarding after some 30 or 40 minutes. The unintended laughs come from the most part from a batch of sound effects that was left over from Three Stooges films. Where was Mo, Larry and Curley or even Shemp-don’t get me started on Joe Besser-when they were so desperately needed? Do yourself a favor and skip this film. Instead try one of Chan’s latest ventures where the sciptwriters are stoned instead of drunk. I always did some of my best work when I was wasted.

Snake’s Rating: 2/10

By David Bell

Mighty Peking Man, producer of this fine web page, asked me what I thought about Jackie Chan and I told him I like what I’ve see so far. So he asked me to write a review and he even offered to let me see one of his copies, so here we go. I went over to Jeff’s house and caught Drunken Master. Here’s what I could figure out from the movie.

First a guy that looks like Elvis says he’s taken a kung fu bounty on some guy and proceeds to kick his heiney in, culminating a freeze frame of Elvis kicking the guy in the chest with both feet to deliver the death blow. Which was kind of cool ’cause it looked like the “to be continued” last panel of an old issue of Tales of Suspense where Batroc the Leaper kicked Captain America right in the star on Cap’s chest (Don’t worry. In the next issue Cap wipes the floor with Batroc.). After the credits, Jackie’s practicing kung fu with his class but he decides that his teacher, this guy with a huge mole and more hair coming out of it than is on Bruce Willis’ head, is a real dork. So Jackie kung fu’s him all over the floor until Mole Man calls recess.

On the break the guys in Jackie’s class see a babe so they bet Jackie that he can’t get a kiss AND a hug. Why is the hug the second thing? I’ve hugged women I’ve barely met. But try getting a little lip action and that’s all she wrote. Anyway, Jackie cons her into a kiss and gets the hug when he scares her with a snake. The babe’s mother comes out and tells Jackie “Hey, that’s my daughter and did you know I was one of the original Solid Gold dancers?” But Jackie tells her that Donna Summer sucked so she disco fu’s Jackie all over the court yard. Upset that he got whupped by a woman, he sees a guy in a Good humor suit pay a dime for a piece of jade that an old guy is selling for ten bucks. When good humor refuses to pay up, he smashes the jade so Jackie teaches him a lesson in supply-side economics and does $100 in collateral damage to the old guys shack to get the ten bills out of the ice cream guy. Jackie goes home to find that the disco queen is really his aunt (which makes the kiss from the babe really weird since that’s his first cousin, but nobody thinks twice about it) and Good Humor’s father comes in to moan about Jackie not working and playing well with others.

So old man makes Jackie pretend he’s a Barco-Lounger and crouch with his arms out for three hours. but Jackie cheats and his dad says that it’s time for the big guns, his uncle is going to teach him kung fu. But Jackie hears that his uncle is badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junk yard dog, so Jackie runs away. He winds up in a restaurant where he tries to scam some food, but he gets caught and an oriental Arnold Schwartzenegger kung fu’s Jackie until he horks back up the whole meal. After Jackie’s last technicolor yawn, he’s rescued by the Drunken Master, who turns out to be uncle. He trains Jackie a little but Jackie runs away and meets up with Elvis. Elvis plays “Don’t Be Cruel” on rib cage and Jackie figures he better head back to his uncle, not only to train but because the old guy has the Beefeater.

The Drunken Master tries to get Jackie into the kung fu training but Jackie doesn’t care until they decide to run a three card monte con. This bald guy sees his rent go into the Drunken Master’s pocket and decides to deliver some vigilante justice. Jackie plays the drum solo to “Wipe Out” on the guy’s skull, and before the bald guy lapses into a coma he tells them, “I’m gonna get my big brother! Then you’ll be sorry!”. Then the Drunken Master makes Jackie pretend he’s Rocky Balboa and they do some training until the bald guy, moments away from the aneurysm, shows up with his brother stick man. Stick man does the job on Drunken Master because Jackie brought back Perrier instead of Stoli, but Jackie still manages to take him down. Then the Drunken master explains that the only way to fight is completely wasted because even if you can’t beat the guy at least you’re numb.

So they Rocky a little more and then Jackie does his drunk Rocky so we know he’s ready to face Elvis again. But Elvis is busy using his swivel hip fu on dad because the Good Humor guy’s old man took out a contract on him. Jackie shows up just in time, but Elvis whips out a little “Teddy Bear” ands starts winning. Then the Drunken master shows up, tosses Jackie a bottle of Jack Daniels and tells him “Make him pay for Kissing Cousins and a Change of Habit!” So Jackie drunk fu’s Elvis all the way back to “Jailhouse Rock” which even Jackie has to admit was not bad. And the whole family walks off into the sunset. Overall I have to say that I like Chan’s later stuff better than this. After ten minutes, as good as the choreography is, it really is all the same. The last third of the movie was viewed in fast forward and I don’t think I missed any of the plot.

David Bell’s Rating: 5/10

By The Great Hendu

I’ve heard all the raves so I just had to see it. Now that I have, (infact I watched it twice back-to-back), I can honestly say, THIS IS THE BEST CHAN MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN!!! I am continually astounded by Jackie’s ability. This movie showcases everything. He uses snake and crane as well as all eight Drunken Gods methods. He also does an excellent job acting. The movie was well written, easy to follow and never had a dry moment. The production is lightyears ahead of Fearless Hyena or even Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin. I love this movie. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll go watch it again!

The Great Hendu’s Rating: 10/10

By Dan-O

Drink a little wine; kick a little ass; get down tonight! I was hesitant about renting this one. I kept having bad flashbacks of “To Kill With Intrigue” and that Fantasy Mission Crapola thing. But DAMN this was good. Lemme say that again, just because…; DAMN this was good. It was so damn good I bootlegged it. Hey, anybody else notice that you never actually see the old guy performing the really tricky moves; you only saw his back, never his face. Anyhow, as good as the fight scenes are in this lil’ gem, the dubbed dialogue was even more entertaining! Some of the better lines include “I THINK I’M HOOKED!!”… “You call that Gung-Fu?! Who the hell teaches you?” “MY DAD DOES!!!”… and who could possibly forget “A FART for the STICK KING!”.

Dan-O’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |

Magnificent Bodyguards (1978) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Magnificent Bodyguards" American Theatrical Poster

"Magnificent Bodyguards" American Theatrical Poster

AKA: Magnificent Guardsmen
Director: Lo Wei
Writer: Gu Long
Cast: Jackie Chan, James Tien, Bruce Leung, Wong Ping, Lau Ming, Wong Gwan, Lee Man Tai, Chui Yuen, Fang Fang, Ching Kuo Chung, Chu Siu Wa, Ko Keung, Mau Ging Shun, Shikamura Yasuyoshi, Wong Ching, Yau Pang Sang
Running Time: 78 min.

By Numskull

Another corny kung fu melodrama from the cinematic mastermind who brought us Killer Meteors and To Kill With Intrigue. This is far superior to those two, though… actually, I thought it was pretty enjoyable for one of Lo Wei’s cheese-flavored excretions. The only ones I like more are Dragon Fist and maybe Snake & Crane Arts of Shaolin. The general consensus on this movie is not good, but, it’s a permanent part of Jackie’s filmography and, much like the corn it’s filled with, it won’t go away no matter how hard you push…

From Lo Wei’s recycling bin: Jackie gets beaten up by a woman; Jackie’s father was killed by the main villain; Star Wars music (it was Lo Wei who first recognized John Williams’ star potential! Got that? Lo Wei! And then he runs off and signs a contract with George Lucas! Ingrate! Lucky for him he got in touch with Jimmy Wang Yu before the Triads got medieval on his ass!!!).

From Lo Wei’s acid trips: death by bell-ringing; a guy who supposedly has six fingers on each hand (they only had the budget to show ONE of his hands for 0.4 seconds); the synthetic face technology of “Darkman” hundreds of years before its time.

From Lo Wei’s intestinal tract: the toxic green smoke used to poison our heroes in the trap-filled temple. Justification for shooting this movie for 3-D: a weapon being thrust towards the camera; another weapon being thrust towards the camera; another weapon being thrust towards the camera; another weapon being thrust towards the camera.

From Lo Wei’s pre-production conversations with Jackie:

LO WEI: Here’s the script for our next movie. It’s called Magnificent Bodyguards. It will be so good, people will wait in mile-long lines to kiss my ass!

JACKIE (leafing through script): What the hell is so magnificent about this?!? It looks just like all the other movies we’ve done.

LO WEI: Not so… we’ll shoot it for 3-D and force people to wear those retina-damaging fashion accessories from the ’50s. And anybody who doesn’t like it can kiss my ass!

JACKIE: Yeah, whatever… but what’s this here about me doing Bruce’s yell? What a stupid idea!

LO WEI: I keep telling you, people want to see the next Bruce Lee! Even I’d like to see it, and the bastard had the nerve to run away after I told him to kiss my ass!

JACKIE: But I’m not a Bruce Lee type of person. Why can’t we put some humor in here instead?

LO WEI: What?!? Preposterous! If people want to laugh at the movie theater, let them stick the refreshment stand boy’s head in the toilet. I’m the boss of this company and people had better pucker up when I tell them to kiss my ass!

JACKIE: I don’t believe this. Suck my shlong Lo Wei!

LO WEI: You suck mine! And kiss my ass while you’re at it.

JACKIE: Grrr… all right, I won’t complain if you let me do a movie with Yuen Woo-ping after this one.

LO WEI: Kiss my ass and it’s a deal!

I wonder why this movie isn’t in any of those notorious 2-packs? If a Jackie Chan neophyte sees this next to a box of two equally panned movies for the same price, there’s really no decision to make…just like all of Lo Wei’s movies wtih Jackie, this is one block of cheese that won’t get better with age.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By Alvin George

I can’t believe I paid two lousy bucks to rent this crap. “Magnificent Bodyguards” just happens to be the first Hong Kong movie to be filmed in 3-D, but that doesn’t make it much better. In fact, it’s even lamer than “Jaws 3-D.” The fight scenes often have parts where some object is thrust at the camera; I heard that Jackie Chan’s job as stunt coordinator was very difficult coz he had to concentrate on kicking and punching the camera, not the other guy.

Despite the fact that the video I saw was in Chinese (complete with oft-unreadable subtitles), I seriously doubt that I heard Jackie’s real voice. I must admit to not watching the whole movie. Since I am American and English is my first language, it was a sheer pain in the padded ass to sit through this shit and listen to people yell at each other in Chinese while the subtitles go off the screen.. Therefore, the fast-forward button became my best friend. In fact, I just skipped to the now-infamous fight scene toward the end where “Star Wars” music plays. It may be copyright infringement, but I felt better as memories of much better movies flooded my head.

Other than that and a scene where a woman’s face is torn to shreds by a sword, this movie sucks ass. I’d rather watch one of those various ninja films the Cannon Group churned out during the ’80s, or even watch “Jaws 3-D” all over again. Lame as the 3-D effects were on an ordinary TV screen, at least THAT movie had something to keep me going. (Read: a cute blonde woman in a scuba diver’s wet suit.) I should’ve known better than to rent a Jackie Chan movie that was directed by the notorious Lo Wei.

Alvin George’s Rating: 1/10

By Tyler

Another high flying adventure from Lo Wei. This is yet another attempt to mold a young Jackie Chan into Bruce Lee. The ending resembles the ending in the man in the iron mask (with somewhat of a twist). The only thing halfway interesting about the film is it was shot in 3D. You can really tell because every few seconds a weapon or a fist will thrust towards the camera.

Now for the highlights:

1. Bruce Liang
2. A catchy theme song
3. Star Wars music
4. A drunk woman
5. Wire and trampoline tricks
6. A six fingered merchant
7. Chinese magic that allows oneself to copy someone’s face

Tyler’s Rating: 3/10 – Corny movie watch it once for a good laugh

By Ro

This is a ‘period piece’ that I read some good things about so I rented it, basically because I was starved to find any Jackie Chan movie that I hadn’t seen yet that I could rent. Big mistake! I should have known better when the reviewer said that Jackie himself didn’t like it.

It’s boring, with a stupid plot. I know you shouldn’t hold plot deficiencies against it (God knows we don’t in any of his other movies), but who said life is fair? They also used a lot of ‘supernatural’ stunts using wires, like people jumping into craters the size of the Grand Canyon and landing on their feet. Why, I ask you, do they resort to this fakery when they have people who can practically do stuff like that for real!?!?! And the music is surreal! First, you hear a lot of Western music, and then in the middle, they play the theme from Star Wars!

If all that wasn’t enough for you to avoid the ‘M’ aisle of your favorite video store, the movie was made in 3-D!!! And it shows.

Ro’s Rating: 3/10

By Marcia

The initial fight scene with 3D effects should have warned me, but it wasn’t until the flying twins coming in to try to kick ass in the second scene that I realized it was one of “those” movies. I thought it was hilarious. (Consider the fact that I have a near-complete collection of Godzilla flicks, and take that last statement for what it’s worth.)

The plot’s a little twisted, there’s some blatant copyright violation, and the 3D fights can give you a headache, but I found it interesting that the straight man/trouble-maker/bumpkin trio seems to be universal. If nothing else, give Jackie kudos for not going insane trying to choreograph fights that have the fighters aiming at the camera as well as their opponents.

Marcia’s Rating: 6.5/10

By Jim Carrey

I like this movie even better the third time, you know after it was called the “Hidden Fortress” and “Star Wars”, now I’m not saying it was influenced, oh wait, yes it is, it even steals the “Star Wars” music used in the film.

Actually, this one is well known because it was actually made in 3D, and was the only time Jackie starred with one of those Bruce Lee copies, Bruce Liang.

It’s about… 90 mins. Jackie plays the greatest hand to hand fighter in the land (hey that rhymed), who is hired by this foxy chick to be a bodyguard for her sick brother. Jackie agrees, but only if he takes along his little friends, Bruce Liang – “master of legs” and James Tien – “master of sword”. He also takes along with him these two twin sword sisters (you think Royal Tramp had some inspiration), the foxy chick, and the sick brother who stays in a little carriage like Michelle Yeoh’s in “Butterfly & Sword”. The strange part is that no one is even allowed to see the brother – not even glance at him in the little carriage.

The reason for bodyguarding this brother is that they will be taking this invalid path in the mountains that contains all these deadly thieves. From there a battle of cool fights ensue, I’ll leave the rest to the viewer.

Now although I might have made the film sound bad when I was raggin’ on it in the beginning, I actually kind of liked it. I saw this film way after I had already seen all of Jackie’s greats and I still found interest in this one while watching it.

Even though the 3D goggles aren’t there, you still sort of get the same neat effect from the camera angles, plus, it only helps to have 3 great martial artists on the screen the whole time: Jackie and Bruce Liang did the action design.

It is definatly one of the best Lo Wei films along with Dragon Fist. Although I won’t give it away, there are quite a few unexpected surprises in this film. EXTRA — Bruce Liang also did the action design for Chow Yun-Fat’s “Rich and Famous”. It’s one of James Tien’s best performances and one of the suprises is that he actually isn’t really the bad guy.

Jim Carrey’s Rating: 6/10

By Dusty

Yup, another old chop-socky Jackie movie. This one is different though. This one, I thought, was actually all right. The subtitles fell from the screen once in a while, so I didn’t pick up on all the dialect.

Basically, it goes like this: Jackie needs to escort a “sick man” across the Stormy Mountains, from which none have survived. Jackie meets his two brothers on the way, and they go together. There are some strange entanglements, and Jackie’s little brother is pretty funny at times.

What stood out to me in this movie was the music. There was an actual theme song during the middle with words, and it was cool! Also, (and this is the strangest thing), in the middle of the movie, the soundtrack suddenly turns into Star Wars: A New Hope. I was ecstatic!!! However, isn’t this illegal? Using other soundtracks in your movie? It wasn’t just the opening title track. There were many tracks used in the last half of the movie.

Anyways, in true Hong Kong tradition, there is also a surprise ending, so don’t turn it off if you hate it! I liked this movie both because of my love for Star Wars and the cool ending.

Dusty’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Gallants (2009) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Jeff Bona
"Gallants" Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

“Gallants” Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

AKA: The Gallants
Director: Derek Kwok
Co-director: Clement Cheng
Cast: Wong You Nam, Teddy Robin Kwan, Bruce Leong, Chen Kuan-tai, Michael Chan Wai-man, Lo Meng, Jin Au-Yeung, Jia Xiao-Chen, Shaw Yum Yum
Running Time: 98 min.

By Jeff Bona

Cheung (Wong You Nam) is a nerdy loser who has a bottom-of-the-barrel job for a real estate company. His boss, who has had enough of his incompetence, gives him a special assignment: settling a property development dispute in a rural village.

This brings Cheung to the door steps of an old teahouse, that was once a kung fu school until its legendary teacher, Master Law (Teddy Robin Kwan), fell into a coma during a famous duel. The teahouse is operated by Dragon (Chen Kuan-tai) and Tiger (Bruce Leung), two of Master Law’s original students. Transforming the school into a teahouse was their way of keeping the school afloat while they eagerly wait for their sifu to awaken.

Meanwhile, trouble is brewing. A group of local thugs, connected to a shady martial arts competition, are after the real estate in which the teahouse stands. Miraculously, Master Law awakens in the midst of the sticky situation. Now Cheung, Tiger, Dragon, and a very confused Master Law, must bound together to keep their honor, dignity and the spirit of their school alive.

Gallants is a creative, trippy and nostalgic nod to kung fu movies of the 1970’s. It’s all here: the Joseph Koo-esque soundtrack, the fast zooming, and the crisp, pleasantly undercranked martial arts sequences. Even animated cut scenes designed to signify the impact of a kick or punch (comparable to Sonny Chiba’s X-ray head-smash in The Street Fighter) are thrown in to top off the film’s artistic flare.

Starring legendary actors/actresses and martial arts stars of yesteryear: Teddy Robin Kwan (Run Tiger Run), Bruce Leung (The Dragon Lives Again), Chen Kuan-tai (Executioners from Shaolin), Michael Chan Wai-man (Five Elements Ninjas), Lo Meng (Five Deadly Venoms) and Shaw Yum Yum (The Chinatown Kid). The fact that all these Hong Kong legends are in the same movie is a dream come true, especially if you’re a fan of the old school films they’re known for.

Teddy Robin Kwan nails his role like a champ. I admit, I haven’t seen him in a lot of movies, but I don’t think I would be out of line to call this one of his best-handled roles ever. To a similar extent, the same can be said about Chen Kuan-tai and Bruce Leung, who get the most “action” screen-time. Of course you have the new generation of talent: Wong You Nam (rising actor and member of music duo “Shine”), Jin Au-Yeung (aka MC Jin, hip hop musician turned actor) and Jia Xiao-Chen (model turned actress).

Directors Derek Kwok and Clement Cheng are perfect examples of some of Hong Kong’s more experimental filmmakers. Their humor lies somewhere between Stephen Chow and Mike Judge. Their filmmaking craft equals an inspired Quentin Tarantino and their thought process is that of a grown man’s love for a good ol’ kung fu flick.

Jeff Bona’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Bio-Cops | aka Bio Cops (2000) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Bio-Cops" Chinese DVD Cover

"Bio-Cops" Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Steve Cheng Wai Man
Writer: Szeto Cheuk Hon
Producer: Steve Cheng Wai Man
Cast: Alice Chan Wai, Chin Kar Lok, Lilian Chin Wai Ming, Stephen Fung Tak Lun, Hui Siu Hung, Benny Lai Chun, Sam Lee Chan Sam, Samuel Leung Cheuk Moon, Frankie Ng Chi Hung, Jude Poyer, Ronald Wong Pan
Running Time: 88 min.

By T-Style

Whoa, look at the cover, Stephen Fung and Sam Lee… can’t be bad, can it? I thought wrong. Bio Cops is a piece of shit! Oh man, I feel dumb sitting through the whole movie. “Zombies walking around biting people,” that should have been the movie description on the back of the box. Bio Zombies was much better in terms of casting, setting, story, zombies… and pretty much everything else. I can’t really think of anything that was good in this movie. Maybe that fine ass girl that played Bell. And maybe stupid zombie humor, like how one zombie said (yes they talk) “chew before you swallow” and “I’ll bite his head, you bite his ass.” And that fake hostage situation was pretty funny, but thats about it.

I would tell you about the story, but there isn’t one. I don’t even know how the zombies were brought into the movie, just because I missed about the first 5 minutes of the movie, which I’m guessing would explain the whole zombie situation. So, yeah… avoid this movie. Cheap-ass looking zombies walking around while having green shit come out of their mouth doesn’t impress me one bit.

T-Style’s Rating: 3/10

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Bio-Zombie | aka Bio Zombie (1998) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Bio-Zombie" American DVD Cover

“Bio-Zombie” American DVD Cover

Director: Wilson Yip
Producer: Joe Ma
Cast: Jordan Chan Siu Chun, Emotion Cheung Kam Ching, Frankie Chin Chi Leung, Matt Chow Hoi Kwong, Bonnie Lai Suk Yin, Sam Lee Chan Sam, Ken Lok Tat Wah, Tam Suk Mui, Angela Tong Ying Ying
Running Time: 94 min.

By Alexander

Thank god for Angela Tong. Had she not been so damn pleasant to look at I might have ripped Bio Zombie from my DVD player and stacked it alongside Martial Angels and Naked Killer — both of the movies-I’ll-never-watch-again-as-long-as-I-live variety — in my closet. Fortunately, Tong co-stars with a really tight pair of shorts that get ample screen time amidst Sam Lee’s goofiness, the requisite lumbering zombies and a story so hollow George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead looks heavily layered and complex in comparison.

Aside from the pleasing sight of Angela Tong’s skin-tight wardrobe, Bio Zombie offers scant entertainment. It was obviously meant as a light summer film combining slapstick humor and over-the-top gore as evidenced by the DVDs festive box art (which is the second best thing about the film). But whereas the broad comedy patented by action star Jackie Chan actually propelled even the weakest of stories along, Bio Zombie’s attempts at humor simply involve the asinine antics of two miscreants and their rubbery, oft-contorted faces. Admittedly, Sam Lee is FAR less annoying here than in some of his later films (notably Gen-X Cops), but he’s annoying nonetheless. For example, a scene of Sam Lee picking his nose and wiping his “treasure” on Gordon Chan’s leather coat is NOT funny. It’s not. And no matter how many thousands of Hong Kong theater patrons laughed till they cried upon seeing Lee wipe his offending gift on Chan’s jacket, booger picking on film stopped being funny sometime between Animal House and episodes of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Zombies terrorizing the occupants of a shopping mall is usually a promising premise (it also worked well in the fun ’80s undead flick Night of the Comet), but a paper-thin plot and an ending that rivals A Hero Never Dies’ in sheer lameness, kill what otherwise would have been a can’t-miss idea. There’s a brief attempt at explaining why zombies are terrorizing a largely unoccupied mall, but the set-up is so minimal it’s amazing the film had anywhere near enough material to reach 97 minutes. Plodding zombies (are there any other kind?) roam the narrow halls of a near-deserted shopping mall intent on feasting on the flesh of our bumbling cast who desperately seek a means of escape. Gore, lame sub plots and close ups of Angela Tong’s ass ensure, resulting in a conclusion so unsatisfying I actually had to skip back twice thinking I’d bought (!) yet another defective Mei Ah disk. Alas, the ending sucked (as does the alternate ending provided on this otherwise bare-bones DVD which, inexplicably, results in a conclusion so similar to the other one you have to wonder why anyone bothered filming both versions at all).

You could do worse than Bio Zombie (Sexy and Dangerous pops immediately into mind), but don’t expect to have anywhere near as much fun as the box art promises.

Alexander’s Rating: 4.5/10 (Angela Tong’s shorts: 10/10)

By Numskull

WARNING: This movie can fuck up your dreams. I mean it. The morning after I watched it, in that brief moment where the boundary between sleep and wakefulness is crossed, I caught a snippet of an otherwise forgotten dream where a white haired dude straight out of an old chop socky movie said (according to the burned-in subtitles…and yes, I know you’re not supposed to be able to read in dreams, but I say that’s a load of shit because I’ve done it loads of times):

“My kung fu is strong! With my new skills, you will soon find yourself playing the violin.”

I’m serious.

Bio-Zombie doesn’t have any kung fu or violins, and the subtitles are new and improved rather than being burned onto the picture, so don’t ask where the hell that came from. I’m not so sure I want to know, myself.

This movie taught me a lesson, too: Don’t judge a director too heavily based on one film. Wilson Yip, director of this amusing romp, is also responsible for Midnight Zone, a film so astoundingly stupid that it makes those old Lo Wei/Jackie Chan movies look like masterpieces on every level.

An unapologetically “just for fun” late-nite style flick, Bio-Zombie will no doubt be compared to any number of other zombie movies (especially Dawn of the Dead, due to the shopping mall setting), and with good reason…it features all the gore makeup and bimbos you would expect, and, as always seems to be the case with films of this nature, there’s one asshole character who yells at and disagrees with everyone else, and turns out to be the biggest wimp in the entire cast when high-pressure situations arise. In this case, the character is a shifty shopkeeper who is always telling his wife “You know nothing!” and refuses to utilize teamwork to escape from the zombie-infested mall. Most of the time, though, three other characters take center stage: Woody Invincible (Jordan Chan), a bootleg VCD merchant; Crazy Bee (Sam Lee), his partner in crime, who checks out a car mechanic’s testicles and wants to kill a man before he dies; and Rolls (Angela Tong Ying-Ying), a mallrat who spends the majority of her screen time cluelessly running around in a sleeveless top with no bra underneath and a pair of shorts consisting of almost nothing. When Woody and Bee rob her in a women’s’ bathroom without revealing their identitties…uh, identities, she suspects that they are the culprits anyway and decides to get to the bottom of things by getting Woody drunk and then seducing him…a task with which, unsurprisingly, she has little difficulty (even after throwing up on him). After that, though, she has to rely on them and the others to save her from the hordes of zombies (a few of whom are shown getting “infected” but most of whom pretty much pop up out of nowhere despite the fact that the mall is supposed to be closed), including Sushi Boy, a guy who works in a Japanese restaurant and, even in his zombified state, still has a “thing” for her (hmm…can walking corpses get erections? Better make that TWO “things”).

Bio-Zombie is certainly not without its flaws…the cop who gets sucked underneath the car has the most watery blood I’ve ever seen, and it’s somewhat less than shocking when a getaway car suddenly won’t start…but the good definitely outweighs the bad. The opening credits are cleverly done bootleg style, with irrelevant whispering and silhouettes on the screen captured by a shaky camcorder. The scene where Woody and Bee give fake alibis to a pair of cops has an unexpected twist that provides a great laugh-out-loud moment. And for some (presumably) unintentional humor, there’s the line: “You want my wife to eat your noodle?” Best of all is the scene where the protagonists take up arms against the rampaging zombies and we’re shown their “profiles” in a style similar to what you’d see for the various characters in a combat-based video game. Pity the text isn’t translated for those of us who can’t read Chinese (one of these days…).

The Mei Ah DVD (which won’t play from the beginning on my DVD player…I have to start at chapter 2 and then “search” back to about 1 minute and 25 seconds into it, after the production company logos are done and the actual movie starts) has two endings. One is included with the film, the other is accessed from the main menu as a separate feature. I’m glad they’re arranged in this way, because I definitely prefer the “main” ending to the alternate one. It’s less predictable and sets a cooler, more unique tone as the film concludes.

Some blood splattered here and there (and here, too…and over there…), a few good laughs, and more overall entertainment value than you’d find in many other similarly-themed flicks. I dig it.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Vic Nguyen

This hyper-stylized zombie flick is a surprisingly entertaining production, which can be described as Romero’s Dawn of the Dead on acid. Jordan Chan Siu-chun and Sam Lee Chan-sam star as a duo of pirate VCD salesman who inadvertantly plague Hong Kong with a race of flesh eating zombies. Finding themselves trapped inside a deserted shopping center, they must fend for themselves in order to escape alive. Inventive, flashy cinematography, along with fun performances, hilariously over-the-top situations, and great blood and guts action are just a few of the reasons that you should give Bio-zombie an hour and a half of your time.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Big Heat, The (1988) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Big Heat" Chinese DVD Cover

“The Big Heat” Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Andrew Kam
Co-director: Johnnie To
Co-director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Waise Lee, Paul Chu Kong, Philip Kwok, Joey Wong, Stuart Ong, Michael Chow, Ken Boyle, Kirk Wong, Gordon Chan, Roy Cheung, Gwaan Gaam Ming, Kong Long, Peter Lai, Robin Shou, Tsui Hark
Running Time: 92 min.

By Numskull

The first half of The Big Heat is a big snore, and even when the story picks up, you’ll still be yawning and picking those optic boogers out of the corners of your eyes. Waise Lee has the lead role (big mistake) in a cop movie which is remarkable only because of its occasional moments of in-your-face gore. There aren’t many of them, but they do hit fairly hard (especially the body getting bounced from car to car).

Gay rights groups would just love the sub-plot about the tycoon taking great lengths to recover evidence of his homosexual activities. Apparently, fudge-packing is generally considered a more perverse activity in Hong Kong than it is in the US, and that lends a somewhat disturbing quality to seemingly innocuous lines like “You take one end, and I’ll take the other.”

Blood and guts aside, the film is painfully mediocre at best. Waise Lee and his fellow cops are totally uninvolving as protagonists, none of the villains really gets under your skin, the script plods, and nothing grabs you. Uninspired, unimpressive, unremarkable. I wish there was more to say about this film, but it’s so damn bland that I can hardly think of anything relevant to say.

A caveat for gore hounds, though: don’t make a big deal out of seeing this movie, expecting some blood-drenched masterpiece of carnage. The gory bits are few and far between.

You know that Far Side cartoon where there’s a bunch of penguins standing around, and they all look alike, and one of them is singing “Oh, I gotta be me, I just gotta be me”? That’s what this movie reminds me of. In a sea of Hong Kong cop thrillers with interchangeable story elements and characters, this one is standing up, making a pitiful attempt to be noticed, waving its arms around and grunting like a frustrated child trying to get the teacher to call on it because it knows the answer to the question that’s baffling the bigger kids. Well, you know what happens to movies like this? That’s right, they get beaten up and robbed of their lunch money during recess by movies with more muscle….and somehow, I doubt The Big Heat would have the balls to show up at school the next day with a submachine gun. Don’t let the extra gore fool you into thinking this movie is special. It does not deserve your support.

Numskull’s Rating: 4/10

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Born to Defend | aka Final Fight (1990) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Born to Defend" Movie Poster

“Born to Defend” Movie Poster

AKA: Born to Defense
Director: Jet Li
Cast: Jet Li, Paulo Tocha, Cho Wing, Dean Harrington, Mark King, Deon Lam Dik On, Dan Mintz
Running Time: 90 min.

By Numskull

Jet Li’s directorial debut is better than some of his other films with more accomplished and recognized directors, but don’t be too quick to chalk that up to an abundance of talent on his part. When “some of his other films with more accomplished and recognized directors” includes the likes of New Legend of Shaolin (Wong Jing) and The Master (Tsui Hark), he could probably film himself picking his nose for an hour and a half and it would look good by comparison.

After a fierce firefight between Chinese and Japanese forces at the end of World War II, our hero finds himself struggling to readjust to a (comparatively) peaceful life in his old home town. He crashes with an old friend who claims his daughter is dead and drives a rickshaw to support himself.

Trouble brewing: obnoxious members of the U.S. Navy, of only marginally higher character than the Nazis they’ve just helped defeat, are molesting women, endangering the townsfolk, and generally wreaking havoc on Jet’s turf. I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with someone who dismisses this aspect of the film as little more than a childish, pissy attitude about Americans or Westerners, but justification certainly exists for the “glory hog” factor; these gwailos would have you believe that they single-handedly put a stop to the war, sort of like how many people today (April 6th, 2002) can’t sing the praises of American troops deployed in Afghanistan loudly enough while neglecting to mention the invaluable contributions of the Northern Afghan Alliance. Just goes to show you how a movie can achieve a certain sense of timelessness even when the specifics are out of date. (Fuck, THAT sounded pretentious.)

Anyway, when Jet’s friend gets hospitalized, he donates a huge amount of blood (drawn from his veins in wince-inducing close-up shots with the biggest hypodermic you’ve ever seen) and goes into the rickshaw-hauling biz himself to keep the cash coming in. He also fights pugnacious Americans in a bar with a boxing ring in it and befriends a kind-hearted prostitute. The fight scenes, all wire-free, are few in number but make up for that with their length and intensity. Jet has to rely on his fists more heavily than he would like and actually gets pummeled quite a bit. He really has only two noteworthy opponents, with the grueling match against the really tall captain in the middle of the film being the highlight.

It’s a decent enough fight fest, with the vengeance factor being sufficient to overshadow the sappy subplot, but it’s not Jet Li at his best. Seeing him get pissed both off and (literally) on will get a rise out of you, but certain other elements, like the simultaneous thunder and lightning (how often does that actually happen?) when a villain removes his oh-so-badass sunglasses merely provide unintentional comic relief. It’s also worth noting that there is a large amount of English dialogue in this movie and that, unsurprisingly, it tends to make the Westerners sound like even bigger jackasses than they’re supposed to be. The film isn’t exactly bursting with promises of things to come, but still, if Jet announced that he was directing another one, I wouldn’t complain.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in All, Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Big Bullet | aka EU Strike Force (1996) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Big Bullet" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Big Bullet” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Benny Chan
Cast: Lau Ching Wan, Jordan Chan, Spencer Lam Seung Yi, Theresa Lee, Woody Chan Chin Pang, Francis Ng Chun Yu, Anthony Wong, Yu Rong Guang, Berg Ng Ting Yip, William Tuan Wai Lun, Steve Brettingham, Bruce Fontaine, Vincent Kok, Michael Ian Lambert
Running Time: 91 min.

By Reefer

Cop roles are like assholes, every actor has at least one. Lau Ching Wan has certainly had his share. Full Alert, Running Out of Time, and Black Mask are only a few of the titles. As everybody knows, Lau Chin Wan has amazing screen presence. Like Chow Yun Fat, he achieves instant credibility in each role he plays. His performance as Bill in Big Bullet is no different. The man acts his ass off.

Unfortunately, his performance is irrelevant because the movie itself seems to be suffering from an identity crisis. In my opinion, HK cinema has two schools of action movie-making: Ringo Lam gritty realism or John Woo apocalyptic chaos. Benny Chan’s Big Bullet chooses to skate right through the middle. Too many glamorized shootouts and beat-downs conflict with its real life procedural tone to be considered of the Ringo Lam variety and not over-the-top gung ho crazy enough to come close to Woo’s kickass mayhem. This movie is quite simply the ugly spawn of two beautiful parents.

The casting of Anthony Wong and Yu Rong Guang as the major villains is a stroke of maniacal genius. That is, if you give them something to do besides kill everyone in sight! These guys can provide enough menace for three or four movies. Anthony Wong replaces dialogue with a dozen varieties of “screw you” stares. Look into his eyes as he confronts an Interpol agent leading to a massive shootout. The bad intentions of that stare alone are enough to elicit a month of nightmares. Yu Rong Guang readily exhibits his natural athleticism, so much that you wonder again why he isn’t a huge star.

This brings me to the action sequences. The are ok. Nothing special. It helps that Lau Ching Wan and his squad give us someone to root for. Despite a huge continuity error, the shoot-out in the middle of the city is well-staged. The finale happens to be a poorly lit group fist fight on an airplane!!! By the way, why in the world would you pit Lau against Yu Rong Guang??? Anthony Wong ok, but the Iron Monkey!? Whatever. I guess I had higher expectations.

Overall, Big Bullet didn’t stink. But it didn’t inspire any philosophical truths about good and evil either. It didn’t excite me. It didn’t move me in any way. It passed time and sucked $10 + shipping/handling off from my credit card.

Reefer’s Rating: 5/10

By TheFrankEinstein

Lau Ching-Wan in a Benny Chan film. Sounds good, right? Yes, it does. It’s got decent performances, an uncharacteristically logical plot with rational characters and dialogue (even the mandatory car chase’s cardboard boxes are stacked in a sensible location), the cute as a button Theresa Lee pulling duty as the vicious-yet-sweet young female officer, and even a laugh or two. Lau Ching-Wan is credible as the cop with a bad attitude (though not overdone), and Anthony Wong is chilling as Bird, the main villain’s right-hand-man (both mentioned later). So it’s got all of the ingredients to be an above-par action flick, but it just never seems to come together like you’d hope. The stars’ charisma isn’t quite enough to hook you, the story and its subplots aren’t quite interesting enough to grab you by the *ahem*, and the action isn’t quite exciting enough to push Big Bullet into the style over substance winner category. Big Bullet just isn’t quite enough.

Lau Ching Wan’s Bill is a believably rogue cop, not as far-fetched as, say, Mel Gibson’s Riggs from the Lethal Weapon series. But I still can’t decide if the believability of his character is a flaw or a quality. I never howled out at the absurdity of a line of dialogue or situation, but would that have been more exciting? It might just be boring to watch a movie about a cop that could exist in the real world. That’s not what we watch Hong Kong movies to see. On the flip-side, Anthony Wong’s bad guy Bird has what it takes. He shoots people’s hands off, indiscreetly stabs people on bustling streets, and takes the gutsy (if lame) Bond villain method of destruction by throwing a grenade into a large stack of water bottles, thereby flooding a stairwell to push pedestrians all over the place to divert the cop hot on his trail, rather than just throwing the grenade into the actual crowd of civilians/cops. Overly complicated, unrealistic and silly, sure, but stylish. The problem being that Bird gets no back story, no depth, and very little screen time, all of which pretty much negates anything positive he brought to the film when weighed out. So what you end up with is a story that’s boring enough to be in the local newspaper, a generic musical theme, a painfully abrupt cop-out of an ending and a few positive points to the film that just don’t make the movie worthwhile. That Theresa Lee sure is cute, though.

TheFrankEinstein’s Rating: 5/10

By Numskull

Yet another action movie about a tough, uncompromising cop who does things his own way when standard operating procedure just doesn’t cut it. It’s been done before, and it’s been done better.

Lau Ching Wan takes the role in question and doesn’t do a whole lot with it, but then again, it’s not as if there’s a dynamite script to work with. He gets booted out of his unit for assaulting an incompetent superior and transferred to an emergency unit where he has to team up with a gun freak, an overly loquacious storyteller, a goofy girl inexplicably named Apple, and a strictly-by-the-book type with whom he inevitably has a clash of philosophy. They have to take down some bad guys who did something or other that they shouldn’t have. The details aren’t important.

There are moments of levity sprinkled throughout the film. They don’t always work, but they try. The vast majority of the action comes at the end, when Lau Ching Wan and company surprisingly do some hand-to-hand fighting instead of the shooting and chasing that one would expect. Aside from that, this is just a basic cops and robbers movie, totally unapologetic in its averageness. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but many of us have seen a few too many of these from both Hong Kong and the U.S. If you’re not yet tired of cops having all the fun, dig in.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10

By Vic Nguyen

Director Benny Chan Muk-sing once again proves why he is one of the most talented men working in the business, transforming an average screenplay into an enjoyable, action packed romp. Credit must also go out to Lau Ching-wan, Cheung Tat-ming, Jordan Chan Siu-chun, and Theresa Lee, who are just a few of the actors and actresses who light the screen up with their terrific group chemistry, while the baddest of the badasses, Yu Rong-guang and Anthony Wong Chau-sang are wise choices as the sadistic villains. Touches of light humor and some tension-filled action sequences are just a few of the perks featured in this production, and aside from a disappointing ending, this is one of the best pictures of 1996.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 8/10

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Peace Hotel (1995) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Peace Hotel" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Peace Hotel” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Wai Ka Fai
Writer: Wai Ka Fai
Producer: John Woo
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Cecilia Yip Tung, Chin Ho, Lau Shun, Annabelle Lau Hiu Tung, Liu Fan, Mai Kei, Joe Cheng Cho, Lee Siu Kei, Victor Hon Kwan, Terrence Fok, Patrick Hon Jun, Gary Mak Wing Lun, Nam Yin, Sung Boon Chung, Four Tse Liu Shut, Bobby Yip Kin Sang, Wu Chien Lien
Running Time: 89 min.

By Numskull

Peace Hotel is a farily intriguing film that makes good use of Chow Yun-Fat’s strengths and takes advantage of his well-known “lone killer” persona without giving you the feeling that you’re watching just another gunslinger movie. His character…who, in an awe-inspiring stroke of originality, is called “the killer”…runs a safe haven for people on the run from the law, from their pasts, and/or from people they’ve pissed off. No violence is permitted within the hotel’s walls, but once someone leaves, its open season on their ass.

Cecelia Yip plays a real bitch who seems to be both a kleptomaniac and a pathological liar. She cons her way into CYF’s good graces and, for reasons explainable only in the logic of cinema, they fall in love. He knows she’s not being totally honest with him, though, and it comes back to bite him in the nuts.

Performances are generally good all around, though it’s hard to take the kid seriously when his character is inexplicably named “Doggie.” The action sequences are limited to a brief shootout and some sword fighting. They’re not the crux of the film, not by a long shot. American westerns obviously served as inspiration here, and it’s not exactly what I would call a “classic,” but Peace Hotel is decent enough to serve as an introductory film for someone just getting into HK movies.

Damn, this is one of the shortest reviews I’ve ever done. Well, it’s a short movie, too, and there ain’t a whole lot to say about it. So stop reading my babble and go out and live life to the fullest. You’ll thank me someday.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Vic Nguyen

Reminicent of an American western, Wai Ka-fai’s directorial debut is a highly engaging, misunderstood masterpiece that also happens to mark Chow Yun-fat’s last Hong Kong production to date. Here, Yun-fat stars as “the killer”, the proprietor of a sanctity called the Peace Hotel, where troubled fugitives and their families can reside without fear. However, this tranquilty is put to the test upon the arrival of a mysterious women, who brings trouble to both the reformed killer and the hotel.

The spagetthi western-ish score is stirring and grand; the cinematography lush and superb; the screenplay complex and intelligent; and the performances excellent and finely textured- these are just a few of the reasons why Peace Hotel is a terrific film, and is a worthy final ode (or is it?) to Chow Yun-fat’s illustrious Chinese film career.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9.5/10

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Occupant, The (1984) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Occupant" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Occupant” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Ronny Yu
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Raymond Wong, Sally Yeh, Lo Lieh, Mak Git Man, Mama Hung, Kenny Ho, Wellington Fung Wing, Leung Ga Git, Yiu Yau Hung, Melvin Wong
Running Time: 95 min.

By Numskull

One paragraph is all I’m writing for The Occupant, because that’s all it deserves. It’s a painfully dull ghost story starring Chow Yun-Fat (shortly before A Better Tomorrow made his ass famous) and Sally Yeh; they must have known they would be making The Killer a few years later and decided to save their energy for that, because they have no chemistry here. Hansom Wong (Raymond Wong) is the third primary character, and he is so annoying that you will want to crawl into the TV and strangle him. To give you an idea of how stupid this film is: near the end, Valentino (Chow Yun-Fat’s character) gets shot. He screams in agony, clutches his heart, and drops to the floor. In the next scene, Valentino is miraculously alive. Why? Because, as we soon find out, the bullets in the gun that shot him were blanks…AND VALENTINO HIMSELF WAS UNAWARE OF THIS. I guess blanks packed a hell of a lot more punch in 1984 than they do now.

Director Ronny Yu tries to combine horror, comedy, and romance, and fails so spectacularly on all three counts that one seriously wonders how he ever secured the funds to make any more movies ever again (including his overpraised “masterpiece” The Bride With White Hair). Hell, a good 50% of the budget for this piece of crap probably went for the scene where Hansom Wong drives a car through a wall and destroys a waterbed. All right, I’m as tired of writing about this movie now as I was of watching it before the half-way point came and went. Avoid this movie. Thank you and good night.

Numskull’s Rating: 2/10

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Once Upon a Time in China and America (1997) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Once Upon a Time in China and America" International Theatrical Poster

“Once Upon a Time in China and America” International Theatrical Poster

AKA: Once Upon a Time in China 6
Director: Sammo Hung
Cast: Jet Li, Rosamund Kwan, Hung Yan Yan, Benny Chan, Patrick Lung, Johnny Koo, Jeff Wolfe, Joe Sayah, Jean Wong Ching Ying, Roger Yuan, Richard Ng
Running Time: 99 min.

By Reefer

Once Upon A Time in China & America is a departure from the other five entries in Tsui Hark’s series based on the adventures of real-life historical figure and martial artist Wong Fei Hung. Except for some heavy-handed commentary on cultural unity and racism, this is on all accounts a full-blown action extravaganza that has more in common with Sammo’s 1986 film Millionaire’s Express than Hark’s work.

Filmed entirely in Texas with a largely American crew and directed by Sammo himself, OUATIC&A jumps from one action sequence to another with not very much in between, starting with a rousing runaway stagecoach scenario. At the conclusion of the chase, Wong suffers from, that favorite of cinematic devices, amnesia and is adopted by a struggling Indian tribe. Meanwhile, Aunt Yee and Clubfoot search for their friend as Bucktooth Sol’s Po Chi Lam clinic franchise is constantly under racial attacks from a town full of rednecks. That’s about all you have to know about the story, which is as loaded with contrivances as it is with wire-enhanced action.

Because of the setting and the nature of the OUATIC series, Jet Li and his friends get plenty of…gasp!…gweilo actors to contend with. Now HK film fans everywhere know what this means. But here, they are wrong. This film has some of the best white actors in HK film. The blonde gunslinger Billy, played by unknown Jeff Wolfe, is unexpectedly good as Wong’s tall, cocky ally. Plus, the mayor, sheriff and townspeople aren’t noticeably bad. They just aren’t given much more to do other than pick on the chinese and ultimately become punching bags.

The grand finale explodes onto the scene as Wong and his followers, a corrupt mayor, and a gang of vicious bankrobbers (whose leader looks like a vampire and uses his spurs in deadly fashion) all cross paths. Wong Fei Hung’s end fight with the leader takes a step towards absurdity but is so stylishly filmed and edited that you won’t mind it too much.

I have heard that normally fans of the Hark-directed entries (which I am) generally hate this final outing, but I must be the exception. In fact, I enjoyed this installment so much that I am surprised that they haven’t added a few more episodes to the mix. Here are some suggestions:

OUATIC&L (Once Upon A Time In China and London)—-Wong Fei Hong can scarf crumpets and then let his dental work go to hell. Maybe have John Cleese supply him with some cool gadgets and an Astin Martin. Clubfoot can learn to drink tea with his pinky extended.

OUATIC&SC (Once Upon A Time In China and South Central)—–Wong Fei Hong travels to LA to visit a colleague but the pollution clouds his senses and he spends the rest of the film teaching kung fu to Puerto Ricans. Aw, crap. I think Tsui Hark already did something like that in The Master. Nevermind.

OUATIC&TDOC (Once Upon A Time In China and The District of Columbia) AKA Mr. Wong Goes To Washington—-Wong can’t be president because he is a foreigner but they could make him in charge of health care reform or something. Acupuncture would, no doubt, get full coverage.

Side Note: This film is well-known mostly for the allegation that Sammo stole the idea from Jackie Chan who released an American western Shanghai Noon three years later in 2000. Seems that since Sammo pilfered his idea, Jackie worked in some details lifted right from OUATIC&A for his film. For example, Jet Li’s character finds himself engaged to a squaw just as Jackie’s does. A hanging sequence is foiled in both films. Each film has rednecks, bank robbers, and corrupt officials. One of villains (Roger Yuan) from Sammo’s film was even cast as the main bad guy in Shanghai Noon. There are probably even more examples than this.

Reefer’s Rating: 8/10

By James H.

Talk about trying to squeeze more money out of a franchise. Chasing in seems to be a religion these days, what with all of the sequels and remakes out there. This is where “Once Upon a Time in China & America” comes into play. It’s one of those films that just fails on all levels. I have not seen any of the preceding “Once Upon a Time.” films, but I guarantee they cannot be as bad as this.

In this, the sixth film in the series, Wong Fei-Hung travels to the good old United States of America and encounters all sorts of trouble, well, enough to keep him busy for 90 minutes. The plot is a little hard to follow, what with the subtitles being transparent and all.

The fights are, as always, the real centre of attention in this movie. They are filled with all sorts of outrageously bad looking wire-work. Not to mention, they’re sped up too. I don’t know how a film directed by Sammo Hung to turn out so bad. The fights aren’t exciting, in fact, some of them are down right laughable. And let’s not forget the kung fu cowboys. I’m sorry, but can this get any more inaccurate? Cowboys didn’t know kung fu, I ‘m sorry, I’ve put up with a lot of shit, but kung fu cowboys is where I draw the line.

This will, undoubtedly be the last in the “Once Upon a Time.” series. And if this film is any indicator, that’s a good thing. It was very low budget, and sadly, unentertaining. Oh, and the reason I gave it such a high rating is because I laughed at some of the wire-fu shit.

James H’s Rating: 3/10

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Once Upon a Time in China II (1992) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Once Upon a Time in China II" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Once Upon a Time in China II” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Jet Li, Donnie Yen, Rosamund Kwan Chi Lam, David Chiang, Max Mok Siu Chung, Hung Yan Yan, Zhang Tie Lin, Paul Fonoroff, William Ho Ka Kui, Yen Shi Kwan, Deon Lam Dik On, Ernest Mauser, Mike Miller, Mike Leeder
Running Time: 112 min.

By James H.

We all know the rule of the sequels. We all know they match the original. However, there are a few exceptions to said rule: “Godfather, Part II”, “Evil Dead 2”, “Terminator 2”, “The Empire Strikes Back” (and “Jedi”), “Star Trek II” and “Superman IV”. “Once Upon a Time in China II” isn’t quite up there, but it does come close.

In this film now, we meet up with Wong Fei-Hung, Aunt Yee (13) and Foon (Porky and Buck Teeth are left behind), as they are on their way to Canton. While there they get caught in the middle of an uprising by a crazed religious sect, known as the White Lotus. Punching and kicking ensues.

The ante has been upped for the sequel. The pace is faster, the action is more intense, and the humor is more broad, and funnier. I liked a scene where Fei-Hung demonstrates acupuncture on Foon, when they are bombarded by a barrage of burning arrows. The only thing that was taken down was the script. It is less complex, and as a result less involving.

No matter though, this is a sequel. Like “A Better Tomorrow II”, this is all about the cash cow; pack the asses in the seats and make some money. Along the way, it has some great stops. The fights are longer and more imaginative. Li’s speed and ability will dazzle you again.

The first of the five sequels may not be on par with the epic original, but it sure is a fun ride.

James H’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Tequila

OUATIC was a bonafide classic wire-fu movie but I actually prefer this sequel as it has two great final fight calibre battles. The story is still great although you do have to see the original first or you may complain about the lack of character development. The OUATIC series is just so engrossing and you can see why they were hits as the films on the big screen must be amazing (I have the VCD).

The soundtrack for the movie fits in well, as do the comedy scenes involving Wong Fey Hong thinking his protege is a lecherous pervert and the only real bad point I can think of off the top of my head is that the film ends. This is one of the best wire-fu films around and is my favorite Jet Li movie I’ve seen so far, although I am awaiting five VCDs as I write. Still, you can’t argue with the quality of this…

Tequila’s Rating: 10/10, no questions asked.

By Andrew

When you’ve got a hit you know that a sequel is right around the corner, and when you make a sequel that was as well received as the second installment of Once Upon a Time in China, it’s only a matter of time before you see the next sequel, and so on and so forth ad infinitum. Fortunately, Tsui Hark’s third Wong Fei Hong film is every bit as good as the first two, IF you get a good copy.

I first saw this film from a friend’s collection. I didn’t understand a word of it because the dialogue was in Cantonese (or perhaps Mandarin-I’m not certain) and the subtitles weren’t made up of the King’s English, but rather Korean characters. I couldn’t figure out a word, but the impact of the film was still clear enough, as Jet Li kicked his way to victory. All of the various fight scenes were contrived, but that didn’t matter, because by the time I got to the end of the film everyone was fighting each other in lion costumes that could fly, breathe fire, shoot spears, etc. and it was ridiculously cool.

I was quite happy when I finally acquired an English dubbed version of the film. Of course, I had to settle for a poorly copied VHS tape, but that is pretty much the way it goes when you’ve got to have dubbing. I was surprised and frustrated, however when I discovered that the film I had purchased was substantively different from what I had previously seen. There were several new fight sequences, and the old ones were shorter. The new stuff wasn’t bad at all, but it simply didn’t fit well with everything else that was going on in the film. Also, I think some of the important dialogue was cut as well, because the English-speaking characters made about as much sense as when they were speaking Cantonese.

Andrew’s Rating: 7.5/10

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Once Upon a Time in China (1990) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Once Upon a Time in China" American Theatrical Poster

“Once Upon a Time in China” American Theatrical Poster

Director: Tsui Hark
Cast: Jet Li, Yuen Biao, Rosamund Kwan, Kent Cheng, Yen Shi Kwan, Jacky Cheung, Yuen Fai, Karel Wong, Jonathan Isgar, Yuen Cheung Yan, Hung Yan Yan, Mark King, Lau Shun, Leung Kam Shan, Sham Chin Bo, Steve Tartalia, To Wai Wo, Wang Yu, Yau Gin Gwok, Anthony Carpio, Bruce Fontaine, Mike Leeder, Wu Ma, Hui Sze-Man
Running Time: 128 min.

By James H.

I wonder if Tsui Hark and Jet Li knew that they were setting up one of Hong Kong cinema’s most lucrative franchises when they made “Once Upon a Time in China”. In the six years that followed, five sequels were produced.

There are many things to admire in this film. Jet Li gives what is probably his strongest performance (of the films I have seen) as legendary folk hero Wong Fei-Hung. The directing, editing, costumes, choreography, score, everything is executed with competence, tact and precision. The look and feel of the film is reminiscent of the melodramatic Westerns of Hollywood in the late 1960’s. Even the titled suggests homage to Sergio Leone, one of the most talented directors of the genre.

For the most part, the story is entertaining and interesting. It deals with complex issues of progress, colonization, and tradition. Hark treats this subject well, taking a fair middle ground, presenting both sides of the story.

The only problem with the story is that it is bogged down by too many uninteresting characters. Too much screen time is allotted to goofy sidekicks Buck Teeth So and “Porky” Wing. The humor they bring to the story is, most of the time not needed and/or not very funny.

However, the rest of the film makes up for that. The acting is a genuinely good (I mentioned Jet Li’s performance), everyone holds their own against each other. But when the fists start flying, none of that matters. The fights are, to say the least, spectacular. They are focused, gracefully shot and smoothly edited. The actors move with speed and power. They are a sight to be seen.

“Once Upon a Time in China” is a highly enjoyable film. There’s something for everyone to like here, which unfortunately keeps this film from being a complete success. But aside from that, it is an epic film that will have its own special place among martial arts film.

Footnote: The Columbia/TriStar DVD includes the original 134 minute cut of the film with either Cantonese or Mandarin language tracks with English subtitles, or an English dubbed version which runs only 99 minutes.

James H.’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Vic Nguyen

Tsui Hark directs this film of epic proportions, recounting the Wong Fei-hung legend into his own blend of fast paced martial arts and drama, without dispensing of his patented themes. Mainland martial artists Jet Li is perfectly cast as the martial arts icon; here, Fei-hung must contend with foreigners and corrupted Chinese citizens vying to cripple his homeland with their own evil intentions. Featuring stunning visuals, a stirring heroic theme song, striking performances, and a great amount of wire-fu, Once Upon a Time in China will forever remain an undisputed classic.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 10/10

By Andrew

This film has spawned at least five sequels to date, the majority of which have Jet Li playing the central character, the historical Chinese hero Wong Fei Hung (also Wong Fei-Hong). Wong was a physician and a master of a fighting style known as Hung Gar boxing. With trademark flying stunts, the beautiful Rosamund Kwan, and JC Opera brother Yuen Biao, this film has something for everyone. There’s even westerners, some good, and some that are not so good. It has been a little while since I first watched this film, but as I recall there are massive fight sequences every few minutes and “cousin” Yee shows her interest in Wong Fei-Hong. Watch for the ‘ladder fight’ sequence towards the end of the film, it’s quite funny. I also picked up the title theme to this film on a cd of the same name featuring an assortment of HK cinema music- if you like the intro you should look for this CD!

Andrew’s Rating: 9/10

By Yates

Jet Li’s 2nd greatest film (after Shaolin Temple of course). I agree that this is an art house kung fu movie. Tsui Hark is a great director and he truly shines in this movie. This film also benefits from a great supporting cast that includes Yuen Biao and Jacky Cheung(really great in his role as Buck Tooth So). But this film belongs to Jet Li. No martial artist has(or will ever have) his screen presence. And dont forget the utterly amazing final fight sequence with those ladders. I was in awe of that scene the entire time. It is amazing! Of course there is not TOO much martial arts in this film. The film is more along the lines of Peking Opera Blues. See this movie. You owe it to yourself.

Yates’ Rating: 10/10

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