“Yellow River Fighter” American DVD Cover
AKA: Swordsman of the Yellow River
Director: Cheung Sing Yim
Cast: Yu Cheng Hui, Yu Hai, Sun Jian Kui, Hu Jian Qiang, Ji Chun Hua, Hung Yan Yan
Running Time: 93 min.
By Numskull
No, it’s not a movie about a guy who fights people by shooting torrents of urine at them; it’s a period martial arts film from mainland China which chronicles the exploits of one Ma Yi, badass swordsman of the Yellow River region. Three feuding warlords…Guan, Lee, and Liu…are causing all sorts of problems for the residents of this area with their incessant power struggles. Ma’s policy is to not get involved. But, one fateful day, he interferes in a clash between Lord Guan and Lord Liu, and he finds himself swept up in the continuous shitstorm being raised, beginning with his sweet adorable little daughter getting skewered like a sweet adorable little piglet during a bloody raid on his home village.
Ma, understandably perturbed, goes away someplace, drinks lots of wine, and becomes very surly. He meets Chi Chang, a wandering tumbler/street magician/jackass who tries to rake in some taels by having him perform his “drunken sword dance” in public. Bad idea. Ma is recognized by a warlord’s henchmen and they poison his wine, blinding him, but not killing him as they’d hoped.
Ma and Chi are then taken in by King Guan, who seems to be the most honest and benevolent of the three warlords. They fight on his behalf against the vicious Lord Liu and the conniving Lord Lee, encountering a number of allies and surprises, and open a warriors’ school with some of their newfound wealth.
The flight-free battles are solid, though not spectacular. It’s a relief that Chi Chang doesn’t constantly need to be bailed out of trouble. While not exactly a warrior, his athleticism and resourcefulness are sufficient to stay alive, elevating him above the status of a character who ends up being more of a hindrance than a help to the main hero. Throw in a couple of plot twists and some majestic Chinese landscape shots and you’ve got a pretty satisfactory swordplay movie, good for whiling away a rainy afternoon.
Numskull’s Rating: 7/10
What are the movies with guys shooting torrents of urine?
I believe the movie you’re thinking of must be 2014’s ‘Iceman 3D’, with the guys in question being Donnie Yen, Wang Bao Qiang, and Yu Kang. It also includes a scene involving explosive faeces. Avoid the sequel.