Armour of God II: Operation Condor (1991) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Armour of God II: Operation Condor" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Armour of God II: Operation Condor” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Jackie Chan
Cast: Jackie Chan, Carol Cheng, Eva Cobo De Garcia, Ikeda Shoko, Vincent Lyn, Jonathan Isgar, Ken Goodman, Bruce Fontaine, Ken Lo, Aldo Sambrell, Wayne Archer, Nick Brandon, Chan Chi Hwa, Condee, Mark King, Dan Mintz, Bozidar Smiljanic, Steve Tartalia
Running Time: 107 min.

By Ro

Jackie’s Indiana Jones type character is back, but they changed his nickname from ‘The Asian Hawk’ to ‘Condor’ (thus the title) and he’s an ‘agent’ now, more like James Bond. Huh? I guess it’s not important, since plot takes a back seat to action in these movies anyway.

A rich guy (the same one who lent Jackie his daughter and artifacts in Part I) sends Jackie on a mission to the desert to recover stolen Nazi gold. He starts out with an Asian woman (who’s a desert expert) leading the expedition and the very blond granddaughter of the original Nazi in charge. They pick up a girl who’s apparently wandering around the desert to ‘find herself’. They also pick up several different gangs of bad guys intent of stealing the maps and key to the vault. As if that wasn’t enough, they also run afoul of slavers and natives guarding the entrance. Needless to say, the action and fighting are nonstop and first rate! Some of it’s so fast, I was glad I was viewing it on tape so I could rewind. And you have to give Jackie credit for creativity – fighting in a wind tunnel!!!! Another plus – Jackie dubs his own voice!

Ro’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Dead Channel

I don’t care for this movie at all. I saw it in the theater and thought it wasn’t that great, then I rented it the other day after about a year of not seeing it, and disliked it even more. I really think this movie is so weak compared to his other movies. I’d like to see more of that girl “Mamoko” though, believe that shit. BAHAH! Anyway, I think the only part I liked besides seeing Carol Chang’s arse (hope it was hers for real!) was when the younger girl (Mamoko?) calls her scorpion “little ding ding”. How funny is that?! Hah.. man what the fuck is up with that German girl’s hat?! Damn! What the fuck is the world coming to! Fuck this movie! Argh! Fuck! Kill!

Another thing, is it just me, or are the two “broads” (see my Police Story I review) on the movie poster not even in the movie? Anyway, check this one out for the end scene in the air tunnel. Quite dope. I don’t hate this movie all that much, but his other shit just blows it away. I’m a little pissed that I haven’t gotten to see the part (from the Chinese version) where Jackie is giving all the girls water and looking like they’re in sexual positions .. blah just read one of the other reviews I’m done.

Dead Channel’s Rating: 4/10

By James H.

I saw both versions of this fine film. I think I liked the HK version better, even though the subtitles were shit, the sound was mono and the picture quality was below average. When I heard the great news that it was to be released here in North America I was supremely pleased.

Alas, I didn’t get to see it in theatres, for I was at the cottage the week it lasted in my town (ONE week, it was in theatres for ONE damn week!). I eagerly awaited the home video release, then, I saw it. I was shocked and chagrinned at what them bastards at New Line cut out. There were a couple of parts that I thought were cut justly, but there were a couple of funny parts they could have left in. That’s not too bad, but what really pissed me off was that they cut one of Jackie’s best moves! Near the end when Jackie’s fighting the baddies in the Nazi place, he swings around on a railing and punches the bad guy! You have to see it to know how cool it is.

I didn’t like the fact that stereotypes ran rampant in this film, although some were good for a laugh. I also didn’t like the three bitchy women, they were annoying. The fights were brilliantly done and the car chase was (for lack of a better word) awesome! The wind tunnel bit was pretty damn cool too. The movie was good fun, so go out and see it.

James H’s Rating: 8/10

By Numskull

What, I ask, do the opinions of little old me count for compared to those of Jackie’s thousands of fans? These are quotes from people at one of Operation Condor’s theatrical showings, carefully compiled to present an accurate overview of the film for the benefit of the uninitiated.

PRE-SHOWING BUZZ:

ONE GUY SAID: “I like Jackie Chan’s movies so much, I would pawn my wedding ring to see one!”

ANOTHER GUY SAID: “I like Jackie Chan’s movies so much, I would dismember my grandma to see one!”

STILL ANOTHER GUY SAID: “I like Jackie Chan’s movies so much, I would trade a testicle to see one…come to think of it, I did, once! Remember when SUPERCOP came out? Well, I wanted to see it really bad but I was broke, so I went to this genital dealer and he gave me $30 for my left nut! Then, after the movie, I went to the black market to look for it…I spent the whole night rummaging through all these balls, measuring wrinkles and counting hairs…finally I found it. I took out the rest of my 30 bucks, and then the new owner saw my Jackie Chan T-shirt. He said he wouldn’t take money from a fellow Chan fan and gave it back to me for free! Ever since then, we’ve been inseparable!”

RE: THE MOTORCYCLE CHASE:

SOME GUY WITH HEAD LICE SAID: “Wow! That was so thrilling, I think I lost control of my bowels!”

THE WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO HIM SAID: “Just when it was getting good, I noticed this awful smell and I had to find another seat!”

THE MAN SHE ENDED UP SITTING IN FRONT OF SAID: “Holy shit, it’s a good thing all those crates he ran into were empty, or else he coulda been seriously hurt!”

THE SUB-LITERATE, SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED TWELVE-YEAR-OLD SAID: “when jackie ran into that one guy he fell on his neck and probably broke it ha ha that was cool!”

SOME HONG KONG MOVIE KNOW-IT-ALL SAID (in a voice similar to that of the comic book store guy from The Simpsons): “It’s common knowledge that Jackie Chan, otherwise known as Sing Lung, does NOT perform all of his own stunts, contrary to what New Line Cinema and Miramax Pictures would have you believe. You see, there wer TWO units working on this film…one in Europe and one in the Sahara. Chan was wasting Golden Harvest’s money in the latter location at the time the motorcycle chase needed to be shot, so he hired a double for the entire scene but failed to admit it in public, thus duping all of his loyal fans. So, the whole “no stuntman” marketing ploy attached to the promotion of his movies in North America is nothing short of grand-scale fraud…what was that? How many times have I seen this movie? Seven or eight…why?”

RE: THE MOTEL SCENE

SOME 44-YEAR-OLD SUBURBAN YUPPIE BITCH SAID: “What kind of message is this movie trying to give to our children?!? That it’s wrong to be a member of the Middle Eastern community?!? And what about that shower scene?!? Don’t you think it would have been more appropriate if she had kept her clothes ON?!? I’m writing a letter to this Jackie Chan character, and I’m telling all my friends in the PTA to forbid their children to see this piece of filth!!!”

HER 10-YEAR-OLD SON HUNTER SAID: “Shut up, ma! My soccer game is in twenty minutes! Go bring the van around!”

TO WHICH SHE REPLIED: “Yes, dear.”

WHILE HER SIX-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER BRITTANY SCREAMED: “MOOOOOM!!! Zachary won’t share his popcorn!”

RE: THE AUCTION AND ITS SUBSEQUENT BREAK-UP:

THE HEAD LICE GUY SAID: “Oh, man…my kidneys can’t take much more of this!”

MPM SAID: “Hot damn! What I would have given for a shitload of camels!!! Hey, why are my socks wet?”

SALLY STRUTHERS SAID: “It’s easy to laugh at the misfortune of the under-priveleged when you’re sitting in an air-conditioned theater, watching it all on a movie screen. But what about the millions of children trapped in poverty-stricken countries just like that one who regularly go for days on end with nothing to eat? What about the grown-ups who live their whole lives without having a proper home like you or me? As human beings, it is our duty to lend a helping hand to all the poor citizens of third world nations across the globe by…Hey! WHO STOLE MY MILK DUDS?!?!?”

RE: THE WIND TUNNEL SEQUENCE

TOM CRUISE SAID: “Holy cow! I’ve never seen or done anything like it!”

JAMES GLICKENHAUS SAID: “Boy, that Jackie Chan is something else, huh? I worked with him once, you know! ‘The Protector’! Been out on video for quite some time…I really think you’d enjoy it! Please? My kid needs braces…”

A MAN WEARING A SKI MASK SAID: “All right bitch, open the register! NOW!!!”

AFTER THE MOVIE: FOURTEEN GRATEFUL DEADHEADS SAID: “Huh?”

THE HEAD LICE GUY SAID (from behind the men’s room door): “Is that blood? Oh God no! NO!!! ARRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!”

AND, A GUY IN A SPIDER-MAN T-SHIRT SAID: “Wait a minute…THAT wasn’t ‘Batman & Robin’! Oh well, at least I found this box of Milk Duds in Sally Struthers’ cleavage!”

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10

By Hendri Liato

I actually like the concept of JC riffing on Indian Jones movies. The choice is just obvious and natural. It seems inevitable that JC would do a globe-trotting adventure movie; the more reason for our beloved Jackie to do what he does best. This film has a great, wonderfully whacked-out, outlandish action sequences like the one staged in a wind tunnel and a classic (IMO) chase sequence that ends with a stunning bike leap over a harbor.

Some people complained about the negative stereotyping of Arabs in this film; I say they are way too cartoonish to be taken seriously. On the other hand, the attempt at bathroom humor is head-scratchingly bad. Not to mention juvenile. The intercontinental female leads — Eurobabe (Spanish? Italian?) Eva Cobo De Garcia, Chinese Carol Cheng and Japanese Ikeda Shoko– are all suitably gorgeous.

But we don’t have to see them go through gratuitous physical anguish played out as comic relief, do we? Jackie’s self-aggrandizing mode (“Jackie, help us!”) is turned way up for way too long over the course of the film. It is a complte missed opportunity to be one of the greats.

Hendri Liato’s Rating: 7/10 (an excellent 9 without the bathroom jokes)

By Dan-O

This is one of those movies you either like or hate like poison, or, a movie you feel almost embarrassed for enjoying so much. I’m a proud member of the latter club. The cornball plot about the Nazi gold absolutely stinks the joint right out, the characters are tracing paper thin, only with about half as much intellectual depth, the Arabian villains and every other (usually non Chinese) ethnic group “represented” in this flick is stereotyped up the ass, and the ending, minus the wind tunnel sequence, which was great, was a big, juicy suck sandwich (which actually sounds good in a certain way, but…..anyway….you know what I mean).

But then again, when I first saw this movie during it’s VERY disappointing U.S. theatrical run, I walked out of that darkened room, after the credits of course, with a big, silly, goofy, ear to ear grin on my puss (face, you sicko). Why? Was it the jaw-dropping beauty of the short haired Scandinavian looking lass Jackie yanks the towel off of first? Is it the so-stupid-you-laugh-in-spite-of-yourself humor? Maybe it’s the bizarre dirtbike chase sequence that is so complex it must have soaked up a huge chunk of the budget for this film. How ’bout that windtunnel thing (the other big budget chunk)? It was hilarious, original (as far as I know), and something only Jackie would have the cahones to try! Could it have been the fight on the shifting platforms that made me nauseous from vertigo just watching it? Or maybe, possibly, it was the always fun to watch outtakes, where everyone alternately laughs then goes “Oooooh, oucharoo! That hurt!”. Yeah, no crap!

When the outtakes began to roll (in the theater), an older woman, probably in her late 50s, sitting across from me got up out of her chair with palpable waves disgust emitting from her eyes, and stormed out of the theater. God, what I wouldn’t have given for the guts to drag that hag back inside, forcibly plant her back in her seat, point at the screen rolling the outtakes and say “Look up there, see that? That fall looks like it hurts, doesn’t it? Those people are taking him to the hospital! See, he did that for you. He tried his goddamnedest to entertain YOU, you ungrateful cow you. How DARE you snarl at this movie! There is more sincerity in one frame of this film than in all of your miserable, shriveled, blackened little heart!!”

Hey, I was having a rough week. I’m feeling much better now, really!

Bottom line: Candied corn can be good for you sometimes (at least if it comes from Jackie Chan, that is).

Dan-O’s Rating: 9/10 (I’m phasing out the cute ratings, kiddies. Get used to it.)

By The Great Hendu

(The following should be read in a voice similar to the guy who does the TV ads for monster truck shows) It’s here. The greatest action film of the week. Let’s get ready for Condooooor! (upbeat dance music plays in the background)…Jackie Chan stars in this unnnnnbelievable showcase of action, action, ACTION! Fight after fight, stunt after stunt, we ask ourselves, “How much more can he do, when will it end?”, and the undenyable answer is never, never, NEVER!! Machine guns going off everywhere, Nazi wind tunnels the size of a gymnasium, yet nothing stops him. So go see this movie, Friday, Friday,FRIDAY!!! (or whenever you can get down to the video store).

The Great Hendu’s Rating: 8/10

By Aloho

I finally tracked down the original version. Operation Condor has better sound mixing. In the original, circus music plays during the finale. One great scene that was cut is entitled the waterbottle scene. Jackie, the three women, and the two arab type are in the desert. Jackie has his water pouch under his jacket with tubing attached. Jackie stays close to the each woman to give them water and not let the arabs know. From the arabs view, they are in sexual positions. It’s very funny. A small part of the wind tunnel was cut and scene in the beginning where Jackie, Eva, and Ikeda bump into eachother. By coincedence, they join together in the last half of the movie.

The opening sequence is great, and that’s why I love the Armour of God series. Couple of insignificant fights in the middle. A great chase takes place in Spain having Jackie manning a motorcycle. Good stunt. Good action sequence. A thing that really stood out during the pursuit is when Jackie hits a guy who is mopping. This guy flips over and lands on his neck. I am sure he was sent to the hospital. The wind tunnel thing is very unique

Aloho’s Rating: 10/10

By Clint

This movie ranks # 3 on my all time JC movie list. I don’t think I can really explain why. All I know is that I have watched this movie over and over and over again, and I still love it as much as the first time. The action is so fast that if you blink, you’ll most likely miss an outstanding maneuver. This movie is somewhat goofy when you really examine it, but I kinda like goofy. The infamous why-did-they-take-that-out-of-the-american-version water bottle scene, the towel pulling scenes, the condom scene, and the wind tunnel scene are all real funny.

There are two brilliant fights in the base at the end, one of which JC hangs on to a large pipe while it’s rolling; the wind tunnel fight, while not that great with the hand to hand fighting, still entertains you more than a Rumble in the Bronx ending or a Mr. Nice Guy ending, or a Thunderbolt ending, or even a First Strike ending. You notice a pattern? Those are Jackie’s last 4 movies, none of which contain the entertaining finale one would expect from him. What gives?

Now back to Operation Condor review already in progress. Why did they take that cool punch where he goes in between the bars and blasts the dude in the gut in the U.S. version? I’ll let them get away with the water bottle scene, it was a little racy, but there was no need to leave that out. Oh well, complaining won’t do anything about it. So I will end my review.

Clint’s Rating: 10/10

By Andrew

Some people, when going to the movies, expect certain standards: the plot is what matters, actors exist to move the plot along, and the denouement involves good triumphing over evil and everyone living happily ever after. Operation Condor is not a film for these people. In this film, action and comedy are the central themes, the plot exists to string these sequences together, and the denouement is as important as those little unpopped kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket. This film elevates action and comedy to a new level. There is a near perfect fusion between the blink-and-you-miss-it fighting sequences and some of the best situational comedy I have ever seen. (oh yeah, there are some really cool stunts too)

I, like most true Chan fans, can ignore most plot deficiencies and see this film for what it is- an awesome barrage of lightning quick comedy fused with action. Detractors may tell you that this flick steals too much from Indiana Jones and James Bond. So what if it does? You’re not going to think “James Bond” when you see one of Jackie’s cool treasure hunting gadgets, you just think “COOL, WHERE CAN I GET ONE OF THOSE!” If the ending were a little more complete this might just have been my favorite Chan film of all time.

Andrew’s Rating: 9.5/10

Dr. Guajardo

The film was reportedly shot in 3 continents, eight months, and cost around $80 million. The plot revolves around agent Jackie (Condor) being sent by the Spanish government to recover lost Nazi gold buried in the Sahara. Of course, Jackie isn’t the only one after the gold. Two different sets of villains are also after it as well including two bumbling idiots. Along the way Jackie sides with 3 beautiful women to help him recover the gold. I think this is a first for Jackie but the three ladies are wimps compared to Michelle Khan (Supercop).

There are plenty of action scenes in this film as well as humor. The quality of the action and humor, in my opinion, was superior to Chan’s most recent effort, ‘First Strike’. The fight scenes are plentiful and excellent, in particular the finale where Jackie duels with the goons in the hidden Nazi bunker and in a huge wind tunnel (the wind tunnel alone looks like it cost a fortune!). The film may not be ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ but I’d like to see Harrison Ford try some of the stuff Jackie does!

Dr. Guajardo’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Vic Nguyen

This film starts off on the right foot, great action in the beginning, but it starts to slow down. Jackie plays an adventurer code named Condor, this time he is summoned by Bannon again to get a valuable stash of gold from World War 2. He is helped by two of his female aids. Some great action and funny comedy, but boredom sets late in the movie.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10

By Michael

I have to admit, I liked this film. I’ve read many negative reviews about this movie, and wondered why? Operation Condor is a perfect sequel to the first one. This movie has a perfect balance of action, stunts, and humor. Who couldn’t resist seeing Jackie pulling towels off his female assistants? The wind tunnel finale is a blast to watch. Be on the lookout for Jackie’s bodyguard (the main bad guy in DM2) in the wind tunnel fight. I think he died some of his hair red. Overall, I really enjoyed this movie over his previous U.S. releases. I think it beats First Strike in every catagory (fights, stunts, humor, etc..) I desperately want Jackie to make another sequel to this movie, along with a DM3.

Michael’s Rating: 10/10 (For the fights, stunts and those girls:) )

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , |

Armour of God (1986) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Armour of God" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Armour of God” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Jackie Chan
Co-director: Eric Tsang
Producer: Leonard Ho
Cast: Jackie Chan, Alan Tam, Lola Forner, Rosamund Kwan, Ken Boyle, John Ladalski, Bozidar Smiljanic, Wayne Archer, Kenny Bee, Anthony Chan Yau
Running Time: 98 min.

By James H.

I see this movie (along with “First Strike”) as kind of a ‘what if’ movie. I can see the big producers sitting around their conference table and someone probably said, “What if we had Jackie as Indiana Jones?” So that’s what we get: Jackie Chan playing Indiana Jones for 90 minutes. And they did a great job. The goes like this. Jackie is hired by old friend Alan Tam to rescue his his fiancee from a group of evil monks. In exchange for the girl, the monks want ‘the armour of God’.

The film is a little slow to start, but after a half hour or so, it picks up the pace. There is a great car chase amongst the goings on of the film. There are only two real fights and they’re at the end. The one with the amazon women is great, but the one preceding it is better.

Now as you may, or may not know, Dimension films released “Armour of God” in November ’98 (straight to video) as “Operation Condor 2: The Armour of the Gods”. What the fuck is that? Why did they deem it necessary to call it “Operation Condor 2”? Does the company really think that the general North American public is so fucking dumb that they won’t rent it if it isn’t a sequel? But really, the only things that I didn’t like are superficial. The title and the credits sequences. The credits looked very kitschy, like a bad made for cable action flick. Other than that I highly recommend this version over the original.

After viewing though, all of the above doesn’t really matter. What we have here is possibly the best Americanization of an HK Jackie film. Why do I say this? Well, for starters it wasn’t butchered (it’s been cut by at most 10 minutes). The dubbing is great. The picture quality is perfect and the music is great. The score is above average, not the shitty music from “Mr. Nice Guy” or the new “Police Story”. And as a bonus, they left in all of the original songs, with the exception of the’Losers’ sequence at the beginning.

James H’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Vic Nguyen

This film ROCKS!!! Jackie has never been better!! (except in Police Story and Drunken Master 2) This is a film that would put the fedora hat wearing Indiana Jones to shame. Jackie plays Asian Hawk, a Chinese Indiana Jones with an attitude. With the help of his trusty sidekick (Played by superstar singer Alan Tam), Jackie kicks and punches his way through dozens of bad guys in order to save their kidnapped friend. And while doing that, why not retrieve some important artifacts Indiana Jones style, only better!

Did I mention that this film rocks! From the beginning stunt filled fight with a whole load of angry tribesmen, to the final fight with the weirdest of bad guys, including monks and 4 tribes women who looked like they were rejected from the cast of “Waiting to Exhale”, this film refuses to give up. This film is also famous for being the film that almost killed Jackie Chan. A simple stunt from a tree cost him a trip to the hospital and a hole in his head, but he came back filming the rest of the film only weeks later! Again, this man is willing to go through anything to please his fans.

This might be overused, but I still agree that this film rocks! See it at all cost or hang your head in shame for being called a Jackie Chan fan.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: Take a guess!

By S!DM

Action-wise, 1986’s Armour of God engages willingly and successfully, but plot-wise this film suffers. In any case, Jackie sets out Indiana Jones-style for the titular “Armour of God,” ritualistically (but welcomely) running into the usual baddies, this time in the form of evil, black-cloaked monks who want the Armour for their own (evil) purposes. To save the world, Jackie enlists the aid of Alan Tam and Lola Forner, neither of which really hurt the film, but neither of which carry the film very far.

The beginning sequence is a real thriller, combining neat acrobatics and some cool sweeps against native warriors, leading into the rest of the film, which is slower paced with a sporadic fight scene thrown in for the mix. The middle of the film is certainly nothing to right home about, but it could have been worse. Just your normal “filler” in most of JC’s films. Anyway, a car chase through the streets ensues, which is pretty standard stuff by Jackie’s standards (is that possible?), leading up to the much-awaited finale. Let me stop here and say that, up to this point in the film, looking back, the rest of the movie isn’t exactly a masterpiece, but it should entertain the casual viewer.

The finale is great, one of Jackie’s best film sequences, as it seems to cram all the action that should have been included in the rest of the movie. Jackie first fights a dining room full of angry worshippers, some of which can be recognized as members of Jackie’s stunt team, kicking and throwing them pretty much off the walls. Great choreography in this scene. Next come the four angry amazon women, high-heel-clad and very interested in kicking JC’s frail body all over the place, which they succeed in doing for the most part. Again, great scene (with some inventive use of wires). And to top it off, Jackie’s flies through the air onto a hot air balloon (even though done in more than one take, I enjoyed it nonetheless).

Classic as far as stunts and fighting goes, but it’s no Godfather Saga. The sequel is much better.

S!DM’s Rating: 7/10

By Ro

OK, to set the record straight – if you rent this at your local Blockbuster, it’s boxed and labeled ‘Operation Condor II: Armour of God’ by New Line Cinema. It’s NOT! It was produced in 1986. Operation Condor is actually the sequel (but since the sequel was released to the American public before the original, New Line Cinema probably thought they were making it easier – HUH!)

Jackie plays a sort of Indiana Jones type, except he sells the artifacts for huge profits. He turned to this after his rock group broke up when Laura (the girl he and his best friend, Alan, both loved) got engaged to Alan. It’s kind of fun watching him play a scoundrel for a change. (Of course he’s not completely bad, how could he be?) Evil monks kidnap Laura to force him to steal pieces of the collection ‘Armor of God’ for them. He, Alan and a rich girl team up the get Laura back, using the girl’s father’s collection as bait.

The girl is played by the beautiful, but Thespis-challenged pickpocket from Wheels On Meals. She and Jackie have this sexual tension, “I hate you, but I’m attracted to you” thing going on and it looks like we’ll get a full-blooded romance for a change, but alas, it’s not to be. Just more of his usual ‘Kissing 101’. I might be wrong about this in the Chinese version, since I got the distinct impression that scenes were cut from the New Line Cinema tape I saw (there were scenes in the outtakes that weren’t in the film – a shot of Laura and Jackie in his bedroom for instance).

All that aside, the movie is a lot of fun to watch. Full of humor, incredible action and lightning fast fighting. The sequence where he cuts from Alan’s concert back and forth to Laura’s kidnapping really jacks up the tension and shows off his directing skills. But what’s up with the different hair cuts? It goes from uncharacteristically short to medium, to medium long. I read somewhere it had to do with the accident, but if you look at the outtakes, his hair was short when he broke his head open! Are the rest wigs? P.S. Jackie dubs his own voice. This is absolutely one of my favorites!!!

Ro’s Rating: 10/10

By Michael

This movie is a blast to watch; well maybe the last parts of it. This movie is the one where Jackie nearly killed himself in the opening sequence/stunt. The beginning and middle scenes are kinda boring with too much talking. I forgot the name of the band in it but they are funny. The movie starts picking up pace when they follow the sex-loving cult back to their hideout. This is where Jackie fights big Amazon Women, and straps dynamite around his body where he accidentally lights it (it is HILARIOUS.) The movie ends where Jackie leaps for his life off a cliff and lands on an air-balloon(it is AMAZING!)

Overall I’d say the last scenes kick ass. Everybody should watch it. It is very, very entertaining, and a milestone Jackie’s long, but amazing career.

Michael’s Rating: 9/10 (it starts out slow, but gets better later on)

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Dragon Tamers, The | aka Belles of Taekwondo (1975) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Dragon Tamers" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Dragon Tamers” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: John Woo
Cast: Ji Han Jae, James Tien, Carter Wong Ka Tat, Yeung Wai, Chan Chuen, Gam Kei Chu, Hsu Hsia, Yuen Wah, Chui Man Fooi, Yue Yin Ching
Running Time: 107 min.

By Alvin George

Long before he was a master of “heroic bloodshed” gangster films, John Woo was just another young director struggling to make it in the Hong Kong film industry. The chop-socky thriller known as The Dragon Tamers was one of his first movies.

The version I saw has the expected bad English dubbing and the usual cheesy HK sound effects–not to mention an all-too-familiar martial-arts plot. However, the plot’s not the important thing. The action is very well done. Important to the movie’s plot is taekwondo, a Korean martial art. I guess the movie was also filmed on location in Korea because that’s where the hero goes.

A number of HK films of the ’70s were filmed in Korea anyhow (just read Jackie Chan’s autobiography, which is entitled I Am Jackie Chan: My Life in Action.) A stunt choreographer for this movie is (surprise!) Jackie Chan (well, at least it says so in Chan’s aforementioned autobiography.) James Tien’s character teaches taekwondo to female students who are often seen wearing tracksuits (um, were at least some of those tracksuits of the same kind as the one Jimmy Wang Yu wore in The Man from Hong Kong?). One of those students has a big crush on a Chinese guy (Carter Wong) who has come to Korea to study taekwondo. Of course, there are bad people who need to be dealt with.

Alvin George’s Rating: 8/10

By Goldenfist

People usually think of gangster movies when they hear or think the name John Woo. This may not be an Oscar winning one, but this is one of Carter Wong’s better acting jobs, as well as James Tien being the star of the show (a rare occasion. He was also the star of 1971’s The Chase, a pre-Big Boss sword movie).

The fights are not wire-enhanced, but feature traditional Tae Kwon Do (NOT that generic, watered-down Americanized olympic crap!) This is the real stuff. Bottom line: If you want to see a good and hard-as-hell to find kung fu movie that showcases fine Korean martial arts, check this one out.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Ji Han Jae and James Tien have a re-match (after the G.O.D. scenes). There is also a good fight with Ji Han Jae and Carter Wong.

Goldenfist’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Kick-Ass (2010) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Kick-Ass" Korean Theatrical Poster

“Kick-Ass” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Cast: Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Mark Strong, Chloe Grace Moretz, Nicolas Cage
Running Time: 117 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), a not-so-average comic book dork, has had enough of watching innocent people – including himself – be victimized by the scum of society; he orders a cool wetsuit-like costume from amazon.com, arms himself with a pair of batons and begins training (which mostly consists of him looking in the mirror a la Robert DeNiro’s “Are You Talkin’ To Me?’ dialogue) so he can become a ‘superhero’. He names himself Kick-Ass and immediately hits the streets to look for some bad guys to set straight.

After beating up some thugs – and in the process, getting himself beat up even more – he is captured on video by witnesses, who upload the footage on youtube. Instantly, he becomes an internet sensation, not to mention the top story on all local news stations.

As his popularity soars, Kick-Ass discovers that he’s not the only costumed character fighting for justice. He crosses paths with a father/daughter pair of vigilantes – Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz) – who have a personal vendetta against a crime boss (Mark Strong); not to mention his tricky son, Red Mist (Christopher “McLovin” Mintz-Plasse).

Directed by Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) and based on Mark Millar’s 2008 comic book, Kick-Ass has a lot to offer. Comedy, romance, thriller, teen scenarios, adventure and of course, action; which is well thoughtout, choreographed and staged.

At first glance, the trailers and posters make Kick-Ass look like a light-hearted, funny teenage superhero flick. It is light-hearted and funny, but it’s also brutal, violent and bloody; and you know what, I loved every minute of it.

Surprisingly, most of the carnage comes from the character of Hit-Girl, played by 13-year old Chloe Moretz. Obviously, the image of a young kid slaughtering a room full of baddies (Kill Bill Vol. 1 finale-style) might raise an eyebrow or two; it’s definitely bound to piss off all sorts of hardcore Christians and anybody who has a hard time separating fantasy from real life. You know what I say? Fuck ‘em. When are people going to realize that a kid’s mind is more affected by what goes on in households than from an R-rated movie of this nature? Not an issue, folks. I’d be more worried about that filipino altar boy standing next to Father Vincent.

Also of notable mention is the film’s music selection. Another mixed bag of greatness; we have some Ennio Morricone (For a Few Dollars More theme), Elvis Presley (“Battle Hymn of the Republic/Extract from An American Trilogy)”, New York Dolls (“We’re All in Love”), Gnarls Barkley (“Crazy”), The Prodigy (“Omen”) and even some recently recycled John Murphy music (“In the House – In a Heartbeat”) from the 28 Days Later soundtrack.

I’ve never read Mark Millar’s comic book of the same name, so I can’t make a comparison. I have heard that it’s pretty damn close and may be one of the most accurate comic book-to-film examples ever. With that said, I’m naturally interested in checking out the books.

Best ‘superhero’ movie since The Incredibles; better ninja movie than Ninja Assassin (and this movie didn’t even have ninjas); and is more crafty, original and entertaining than Transformers 1, 2 and Avatar (and future Avatars) combined.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Asian Related, Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged |

Tattoo Connection, The | aka Black Belt Jones 2 (1978) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Tattoo Connection" American Theatrical Poster

“The Tattoo Connection” American Theatrical Poster

AKA: Hong Kong Connection
Director: Lee Tso Nam
Cast: Chan Lau, Chan Sing, Cheng Fu Hung, Jim Kelly, Kong Do, Tony Leung Siu Hung, Sham Chin Bo, Tan Tao Liang, Wan Faat, Bolo Yeung, Lee Hoi San
Running Time: 90 min.

By Joseph Kuby

Disclaimer: The real title for the film is ‘The Tattoo Connection’ though the UK DVD is called Black Belt Jones 2, even the original theatrical trailers (as seen on the Shaolin Chamber) site call the film The Tattoo Connection.

70s Chop Socky Goodness!

This movie rocks – the tunes, the one-liners, the fights, the nudity, the fashion, etc. It’s easy to see why the Kung Fu boom generated so much interest in the 70s and why we have films like Kill Bill today.

Whilst the movies offered up by the Shaw Bros. film studio and the Golden Harvest film studio were influential, it was the appearance of black martial artists which were vital as they were responsible for maintaining the public interest in the martial arts and the movies they were featured in (people like Van Damme and Seagal, of course, would take over the mantle as far as “western martial artists sustaining western interest in martial arts” was concerned).

The reason for this is that besides the idea of having a western martial artist was a more bankable selling point (think David Carradine in the TV series Kung Fu), these movies were doing enormously well in urban theaters (blacks and other ethnical/cultural minorities could identify with the struggles of the underdog minority) even when the genre started to fade (Jackie Chan mentioned the importance of the black audience when discussing his American debut The Big Brawl, for the UK distributor Hong Kong Legends).

You see, people could actually have heroes to admire through this particular format of casting. Jim Kelly was a natural candidate seeing as how he was in Enter The Dragon (he did for the blacks what Bruce did for the Chinese) and unlike Ron Van Clief, Jim had a solid fan base, charm, good-looks, charisma and decent acting ability (or at least more of a personality). Whilst Ron had the most skills (or chutzpah in technique), Jim had the most presence. Plus Jim had a huge legion of female fans at his feet – something Ron could never take away or pull off on his own terms.

But, nevertheless, the films offered by these two black individuals (along with other stars such as Tamara Dobson, the star of the Cleopetra Jones movies*) helped to bring people like Billy Blanks and, more famously, Wesley Snipes into the mainstream (though it could be argued that after the success of Enter The Dragon, Jim was in a position that even Wesley couldn’t compare to today – even with the Blade films which just goes to show you how popular Jim really was back then).

Of course, you could go so far to say that it’s these black martial arts stars (along with the other Blaxploitation actors & actresses) who helped to give more recognition towards black performers in the film business e.g. Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington and Halle Berry.

Jim was a natural born athelete so it seems – he was a talented American football player and professional tennis player (he turned professional in 1975 rising to No. 2 in California in the senior men’s doubles rankings and reaching the state’s top ten in senior men’s singles, among other titles). Jim was also a Karate champion (in 1971 he became the international middle weight Karate champ, again among other titles). In fact, Bruce respected Jim so much as a martial artist (Jim had adapted the philosophy and applications of Jeet Kune Do to his training in Karate) that Bruce let Jim choreograph his own fights for Enter The Dragon.

Jim was definately a top-notch martial artist who was almost in the same league as Lee even if they don’t usually or hardly ever share the same space in history books. He could probably have defeated a few of the martial arts stars at the time as he was surprised as to how many of them weren’t really good off screen as they were on – in fact a lot of them couldn’t fight at all (whether this was found out via the result of challenge matches, witness accounts or research is anyone’s guess).

Which leads us to this film, whose true title is The Tattoo Connection and not Black Belt Jones 2 (a film which was financially backed by Warner Bros. and released by one of its distributional companies), as can be seen in the original cinema trailers. The true sequel to Black Belt Jones is a film called Hot Potato.

As the ending indicates, there was meant to have been a sequel to The Tattoo Connection (thus being Black Belt Jones 3) but because of arguments between the two leads (Jim and Dorian Tan Tao-Liang), the idea was scrapped; which is a shame because a sequel to The Tattoo Connection would have been more enticing than a sequel to Rush Hour, much like how The Stranger & The Gunfighter deserved a sequel unlike Shanghai Noon, as there was more ground to explore in terms of ideas.

The failure for a sequel to germinate can be traced back to Jim as he had a tendency to hit people during his fight scenes but didn’t like to get hit back and he didn’t like the idea of his character receiving hits (even simulated ones) as it made him look weak so this lead to arguments with the action director & part-time Bruce Lee imitator, Bruce Liang**.

This made things even more worse – sometimes making production almost slow down to a grinding halt. It’s because of this that any future attempt at making more Hong Kong produced films was also put to a halt as he was virtually blacklisted by the entire Hong Kong film industry.

Unfortunately, this made Warner Bros. think of sending him back to America where the quality of the films became cheap (Tattoo Connection looked more expensive in comparison seeing as how it was a fairly decently budgeted film for Hong Kong standards) and so his entire film career came to a halt therefore he was never really allowed to show the full extent of his acting and martial arts prowess (I don’t think he ever went back into the American football business either).

It’s kind of a shame because if Warner Bros. had thought of enlisting the talents of the Shaws or Golden Harvest and got them to work with Kelly under legal circumstances (like buying the rights to the companies) or enticing them through financially profitable circumstances (where the pay cheques would be more higher than usual for the HK filmmakers thus being able to get them to sign ironclad contracts) then Jim would be seen as one of the best Westerners to perform HK style action (yes, being ranked alongside people like Gary Daniels, Mark Dacascos and Cynthia Rothrock rather than below them). If any of these actions took place then we could have seen Jim work with someone like Lau Kar Leung, Sammo Hung or even Yuen Woo Ping (who was associated with Ng See Yuen’s Seasonal at the time).

In fact, Sammo Hung had done a film which was a parody of Bruce Lee’s Way Of The Dragon called Enter The Fat Dragon, it was in this film which had a Chinese Kung Fu master dressed up as a black Karate exponent with laughable results so maybe Jim Kelly could have provided some much needed authenticity (though it could be argued that Sammo was lampooning the stereotypes of black martial artists*** as well as the western filmmaking psyche, despite how implausible that sounds).

The only people in this film who would continue to collaborate on future films would be Bolo Yeung and Chiang Tao – the latter of whom practically appeared in almost every film Bolo did, or the Bruce Le films to be more precise. They must have been great buddies!

Bolo Yeung would also go on to collaborate with Dorian for this American production called Breathing Fire (Dorian was credited as Delon Tanners), which starred Jerry Trimble (and get this….his character is called Michael Moore) and Jonathan Ke Quan (the Vietnamese kid who appeared in Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom and The Goonies). Jonathan would go on to work with Corey Yuen on The One and X Men (acting as assistant fight choreographer and translator for Corey).

But back to Tattoo Connection, equally famous faces appear in this film like Lee Hoi San and the HK Rowan Atkinson, Wong Yat Fei****, playing a detective investigating a homicidal case relating to the plot of this movie. It was quite bizarre to see him in such a serious role, it’s like if we saw Rowan in an episode of The Sweeney or something.

The film itself is a classic, it’s truly one of the best films of the 70s – a fairly involving plot with twists, it’s fun, not pretentious and not afraid to poke fun at itself. A sequel was undoubtedly needed as Jim and Dorian make a good team which outclasses the pairing made by Jackie and Chris for the Rush Hour films. Sure, the former pair may have lacked the glitz & glamour of the latter pair, but they had more grit & grime which is needed for a truly hard-boiled crime thriller with bone-crunching martial arts action. Which reminds me, the ending for this motivated Ratner to follow suit for the ending of Rush Hour i.e. at the end of Tattoo Connection, Jim Kelly is in the Hong Kong Airport just about to head back to America and is having a conversation with Tan Tao-Liang. In the conversation it crops up that Tan Tao-Liang’s character is going to America on holiday in a couple of weeks of time.

It’s interesting how some of the original music cues from other Kung Fu films had found their way into this movie (considering the origins of where they came from and given that this is a contemporary outing) like Drunken Master (e.g. the music cue from Drunken Master whenever we see the assassin played by Hwang Jang Lee) as well as other flicks like Half A Loaf of Kung Fu (starring Jackie Chan) and Dirty Tiger Crazy Frog (starring Sammo Hung). We have a song here by Anders Nelsson called Diamond which is quite snazzy despite not being on par with the one he composed for Dragon Lives, however his song (and the score in general) gives the film a level of coolness unparalled by most films of the period. The theme song isn’t as cool or magnificently composed as the themes constructed for Shaft and Goodbye Bruce Lee: His Last Game of Death, but it succeeds in opening this film with a bang!

This film is cool because we get to see Jim Kelly take on Bolo Yeung in two fights which makes up for the missed opportunity in Enter The Dragon (Jim was supposed to have lived and John Saxon was the one who was supposed to have died, but John’s manager ‘reasoned’ someone of John’s star power in comparison to someone of Jim’s newbie status shouldn’t be allowed to die) so we never got to see a lengthy fight between them in that film but it’s sort of made up for in here as we see two short bouts between them.

Tan Tao-Liang is slightly more impressive as he’s able to hold his leg in the air than Kelly (like as if he was doing the splits), and flashing his legs at the same time hence his nickname ‘Flash Legs Tan’.

However Jim surprises the viewer halfway into the movie as his second fight with Tan features astonishingly more higher kicks than usually expected of our afro wonder. Also he impressively demonstrates 90% of the talent Tan has by doing six kicks with one leg within one shot without letting his foot touch the ground!

This movie could be technically labelled as Bruceploitation, you have Connection in the title*****, Bolo (who teams up with Bruce Le associate Chiang Tao and, of course, who was in Enter The Dragon) and Jim is being touted as being a black Bruce Lee (the philosophy, the double sticks – even the trailer says it). Lee Tso Nam was probably hired for his affiliation with Bruce Lee (assistant directorial duties for Big Boss and directing several Bruceploitation flicks) as much as he was hired for his stand-alone merits (directing commercially successful films like Eagle’s Claw, Chinese Kung Fu Against Godfather {which showed his ability to handle Western actors} and ‘The Hot, The Cool & The Vicious’).

As you can tell from what I’ve said above, there’s a distinct and overflowing level of ‘coolness’ emanating from the movie. It really achieved a ‘wow, I want to be as cool as him’ feel, which few other movies can telegraph without blatant product placement and pathetic attempts at wannabe hipness (like the recent movies involving Hong Kong pop idols {or any movie with MTV-bred idols for that matter} where you have guys like Edison Chen putting on thick layers of cheese with sorry piss-poor, lame-ass one-liners like “sup dog” and “naw man, I’m cool, you know how it is”).

One of the greatest things about this film is that it knows what it is, it doesn’t try to be something that it’s not and it doesn’t try too hard to mix genres.

Whilst there’s nothing wrong with ambition, not every single film can be a masterpiece or even a classic for that matter – sometimes simplicity is the order of the day. Though having said that, this film contains almost everything except shootouts though that kind of takes away the point of the movie (even though to be fair, guns weren’t as equally accessible in Hong Kong back then as they were in America, though even in today’s era HK thugs still don’t pack the arsenal US criminals do, instead using knives, choppers and machetes with the occasional gun or two – don’t let John Woo’s HK outings fool you).

It rivals Enter The Dragon as the 70s martial arts/Hong Kong equivalent to Commando as there’s lots of juicy one-liners peppered throughout. The following exchange is funny in the way Jim tries to get back at Tan without losing his cool…

Tan: Black man, you were lucky this time!

Jim: Yellow man, you won’t get away……the NEXT TIME!

Which brings us to the script, it was written by E. Charles McBroom (E stands for Edward) who is also an international film producer (he produced this film too). He was the one responsible for producing Half A Loaf of Kung Fu (though he went uncredited) as well as producing Lau Kar Leung’s 18 Legendary Weapons Of China (for which he lent his dialogue-writing skills to), Lee Tso Nam’s The Leg Fighters, Monkey Kung Fu (which starred Tony Ching Siu Tung and had dialogue co-written by Edward), Dirty Kung Fu (made by the Lau brothers and co-scripted by Ed, of whom did some ghost directing), Death Duel of Kung Fu (which starred John Liu and Don Wong Tao) and the legendary ninja classic The Ninja Hunter (a.k.a. Wu Tang vs. Ninja). He helped to edit Lee Tso Nam’s classic Eagle’s Claw and he helped write the dialogue for Hwang Jang Lee’s directorial debut, Hitman In The Hand Of Buddha. He’s still feverishly involved in filmmaking today.

This film is a prime example of shouting out “CLASSIC” when ever something funny or cool happens like when Jim dances with this naked chick in this funky scene (with equally funky, if cornball, music) where he tries to seduce her.

There’s a nice reference to Star Wars in this film with two characters sharing George Lucas’ name (Edward’s scripts have quirks similar to this). Jim is called Lucas and Norman Wingrove’s character is called George.

Speaking of whom, Wingrove (whose character in this film is one of Jim’s contacts) has been a resident of Hong Kong for more than thirty years. He produced and presented a nightly radio program on information technology for several years in the 1980s and has written on IT and telecommunications for a range of Hong Kong and overseas publications for over more than a decade. Since 1995 Norman has designed websites for a number of companies and industry organizations (Jeff, hook up with this guy, hehe) and through his company, Kintak Enterprises Limited, provides a variety of writing and editorial services. Wingrove developed and maintained the TRP (Telecommunications
Research Project) website and its companion site at the Telecom Infotech Forum. For four years he edited the monthly newsletter of the Hong Kong Telecommunications Users Group (HKTUG) and also built and maintained its website until 1999. In March 2005 he was asked to resume responsibility for the site and has now completely rebuilt it and included the facility for HKTUG personnel to update the pages themselves online.

As an actor, Norman Wingrove’s not bad in this movie and he would have equally have found success working in British cinema or anywhere else for that matter.

Like what the trailers say (which can be found on the Shaolin Chamber website), Jim Kelly is definitely a mix between Bruce Lee and James Bond******. Though Lucas sees himself as the black six million dollar man!

The Tattoo Connection is funny too. There’s a scene where Jim flirts with this Chinese woman and when he proposes a date to her, he looks slightly menacing with his open eyes, maniacal grin and the way he looks below her eyes (the part of the body you can figure out for yourself) after he says “I hope we can be friends.” When she agrees Jim does a slight giggle (probably a result of the dubbing than the acting on location) before saying “That’s beautiful, let’s go then!”

Hey, any movie which has songs courtesy of Suzi Quatro (in this case – Can The Can and 48 Catch) is okay by me!

A true classic if there ever was one, let alone cult classic (something this film should also be labelled as, seeing as how it is pure dynamite exploitation entertainment that’s only appreciated by a select few).

Definately one to watch at social occasions with mates and a couple of brews, especially at clubs or pubs!

Highly recommended!

* The second film of said series which was set in Hong Kong with Matrix action-director Yuen Woo Ping acting as fight choreographer and who even appeared in the film.

** According to John Richards, owner of the Wasted Life site, apparently Bruce (a.k.a. Leung Siu Lung – The Beast from Kung Fu Hustle) was someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. Toby Russell told John that there are plenty of stories of Bruce getting into fights (after starting them) on film sets and nightclubs. Toby also told him that he saw Bruce in a Hong Kong nightclub with his entourage and was going to go over to introduce himself. However Toby’s mate stopped him because they were both drunk and probably would have been beaten up.

*** Another possibility was that Sammo was taking a swipe at the black martial artists setting themselves up as the black equivalents to Bruce Lee Siu Lung (Bruce, the little dragon – his birth name). In fact the fight between Sammo and Lee Hoi San could be connotated as a black martial artist trying to out-Bruce Bruce!

**** He can be seen in Stephen Chow’s films, his most famous role was as Iron Head in Shaolin Soccer (basically the guy who is forced to wear underwear on his head).

***** But then again so did French Connection, Italian Connection, Korean Connection, Snuff Bottle Connection, Gold Connection, Amsterdam Connection and numerous other ‘Connection’ movies. Fuck, there’s even a Bruce Le flick called Cameroon Connection (it’s meant to be the most bizarre and worst flick out of the Bruceploitation cannon)!

****** Although he falls short of the Japanese name given for Bond – Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, as he never fires a firearm.

Joseph Kuby’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Avenging Boxer | aka Method Man (1979) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Avenging Boxer" UK DVD Cover

"Avenging Boxer" UK DVD Cover

AKA: Fearless Young Boxer
Director: Jimmy Shaw Feng
Producer: Jimmy Shaw Feng
Cast: Peter Chang, Casanova Wong, Hwa Ling, Chan Wai Lau, Lee Kwan, Chai Kai, Lung Fei, Ma Chin Ku, Wang Man Chuen, Su Chen Ping, Au Lap Bo, Boon Saam, Geung Yee Gwan, Hui Lap, Philip So Yuen Fung, Wong Gwok Chue, Wong Wing Sang, Woo Hon Cheung, Yuen Sam
Running Time: 92 min.

By Joseph Kuby

This is the best Chan-style movie Jackie never made.

A classical Kung Fu movie it is but the final fight sequence feels like something from the late ’80s or early ’90s.

This ain’t a bad film despite not being particularly groundbreaking in the story, acting or directing departments. Ignoring these commonplace pet peeves it has several things which stop it from being another Kung Fu comedy riddled with clichés ala a machine-gunned victim.

Firstly, the villain is played as a jocose chap rather than a stern bitter-faced creep that’s usually seen in these kind of movies all too often.

Secondly, the story succeeds in not being predictable. Characters who you expect to play a heavy part in the movie are bumped off and people who you assume are just extras happen to have great importance within the context of the film’s storyline.

Thirdly, one of the villains has a home which looks like something from the Flintstones in it’s architecture, complete with a waterfall and some nice scenery. So, generally the environment is different than what’s usually seen in this genre of film.

Finally, the action has plenty of innovative moments which fully capitalize on Jackie Chan’s style of environmental interaction. The brawlers depending on the environment to use it to their advantage makes for a fresh experience as opposed to fighting in open spaces. In a lot of the Kung Fu comedies that came after Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow, film directors, at most, simply added slapstick to the fight scenes.

The hero, as ever, is still the facetious type we see very often in Kung Fu comedies. If the hero was presented as a stern and cynical individual, a different kind of interplay would have taken place between the hero and the tongue-in-cheek villain.

This film truly rivals Jackie at his game when it comes to his pedigree of martial conduction. These are the sort of fight scenes where the focus is on timing, for instance hitting a few assailants before catching something that’s been thrown in the air.

The climax, in particular, may have motivated Jackie to follow suit with the climax for Dragon Lord. Likewise with Yuen Woo Ping’s Tai Chi 2 (or Tai Chi Boxer as it’s known in the UK). Method Man lives up to its title in this sequence which involves the usage of props and manipulation of ropes to finish off the villain.

Furthermore, what’s impressive is that the action goes from being something quite typical of it’s production year (1979) to looking like something from the much distant future (i.e. 1985-1995). Everything. From the camerawork and editing pace to the undercranking. The amount of techniques performed (3-4) per second is unmistakably faster than the usual static rate (1-2) at which the choreography moves along during the flicks of this era.

Honestly, when you look at the finale, you would swear that you’ve just watched something done by Corey Yuen and Yuen Woo Ping. The result is something similar to the direction of the fights in Kung Fu Zombie.

The set-up to the finale and the usage of tracking POV shots is quite refreshing and done in a smooth way (for some reason it reminded me of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead) rather than the usual dodgy camerawork which occurs when anything remotely ambitious is trying to be achieved by the average Kung Fu filmmakers of this period.

I think the key success to a martial arts/action movie is that there has to be a scene which makes you go “How did they do that?” and this movie has one of them. In one of the training sequences a man has to go collecting a bunch of bricks off one bench and then placing them on another bench and doing the same thing repeatedly. It looks more masterful than it reads.

What makes it so awe-inspiring is the way he stacks them against each other – rather than stacking them vertically (as would be expected), he stacks them horizontally as if they were covered in glue. However there’s no glue or sticky substance that can be detected so we’re lead to assume that the sheer speed and strength of our trainee can stack bricks in this unorthodox fashion.

I also liked the film’s attempt at subtlety as we see the protagonist’s uncle/teacher contemplating the future of his nephew at night time as he sits down in the murky shadows and dim light for a long period of time (in one shot), especially as the camera slowly zooms out in an delicate fashion unlike the random hectic mania of the cinematography often present during Kung Fu films at this time (Jackie’s Young Master for instance).

Any film which has significant influence on a famous US rap group is bound to be worth your time and viewing pleasure. Five Deadly Venoms is a sign of that.

Joseph Kuby’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , |

Accident, The (1998) Review

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Accident" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Accident” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Katie Kwan
Co-director: Julian Lee Chi Chiu
Cast: Gigi Lai Chi, Andrew Lin Hoi, Ben Ng Ngai Cheung, Patrick Tse Yin, Almen Wong Pui Ha, Wong Hei, Christine Ng Wing Meim, Joey Yung Cho Yee
Running Time: 83 min.

By Gwailo

Ponderous 1 hr. 23 min. film by director Julien Lee weaves together stories of lives affected by a train accident. Head scratcher of a film doesn’t seem to gain momentum. The characters seem out of it, almost embarrassed to admit that they have no idea what’s going on. The script seems to have been written as the film was shot. Julien Lee does a bad Wong Kar-Wai with this social drama. Almen Wong, though, is effective as a mysterious starlett who seduces a young fan to be her love interest in her next category III movie.

Another subplot, probably the best, concerns a mainland runaway homosexual (this would be a cool name for an experimental band) and a cab driver who shares the same sexual preference. A film that rarely hit’s the mark, aloof in it’s delivery and seemingly very self-important, with a message (maybe) that zoomed over (way over) my head (and I consider myself a scholar!).

Gwailo’s Rating: 2.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Now you can get Revenge with Animeigo’s help

Posted on January 23, 2011 by JJ Bona

Coming April 2011

A minor quarrel escalates into a duel. A death creates a debt of honor. The demands of honor outweigh the demands of justice, and force friends to spill each other’s blood. And the need for victory requires the sacrifice of honor. One simple argument spawns death, madness, and a final confrontation that will leave the sandy soil soaked with blood.

Starring Kinnosuke Nakamura, and directed by Tadashi Imai!

Posted in News |

Body Jumper (2001) Review

Posted on January 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Body Jumper" Thai Theatrical Poster

"Body Jumper" Thai Theatrical Poster

AKA: Porp Weed Sayong
Director: Haeman Chatemee
Cast: Danai Samutkochorn, Angie Grant, Chompunoot Piyapane, Chatewut Watcharakhun, Chaicharn Nimpulsawasdi, Napatsanun Thaweekitthavorn
Running Time: 98 min.

By Numskull

Body Jumper is a horror-comedy that has but two settings: “Knowingly Campy” for the former aspect and “Gleefully Lowbrow” for the latter. It’s good fun, but there are no genuine scares to be had, and at some point even the most thick-headed viewer will resign him or herself to the fact that one dick joke is very much like another.

To start off, we see an angry mob ambushing and executing a woman who seems to be possessed by a demonic spirit. This takes place in 1932, in a small, backwater village. The traditional horror tale atmosphere generated by this sequence is quickly dispersed by the ceaseless scatological buffoonery of the university students who comprise the lion’s share of the cast. There’s Com and Woo, two fairly normal guys. There’s Pim and Fah, two fairly normal girls. There’s Gir, the white-hot temptress who inspires erections (and subsequent nosebleeds, presumably a culture-specific sight gag) in every postpubescent male who lays eyes on her, except for Belle, the beefy young man who dresses like a girl, ogles guys like a girl, and in some ways believes that he IS a girl.

With the film’s maturity level now firmly established, we see the main characters visit the village in the present day to participate in some silly-ass youth volunteer program to whip the rubes into better physical shape. Gir gets possessed by the same spirit from 1932 and consequently develop a taste for liver…especially if it’s from a human being. When not watching The Scary Monkey Show, Gir selects a male, gets close to him (not much difficulty there) and strikes, usually fatally. This behavior leads to a few humorous moments, the best of which involves a stuffed bunny and a magnifying glass. There’s also a subplot about a guy in the “Scream” mask stealing girls’ underwear. This is pretty much just tacked on to pad the length of the film, although it does produce a standout moment in which the thief sings a modified version of “Old MacDonald” to one of his victims over the phone.

Back to the demon business…Com is the first person to come close to figuring out what’s going on and has trouble convincing his friends until Woo has a close encounter (not the sort of encounter he wanted) with the possessed Gir. Once they’re all on the evil whatzit’s trail, they land in hot water but are bailed out by Kong, a black guy with mysterious expertise in the field of demon-fighting. Then they transform themselves into an organized assault force with Kong’s supply of high-tech weapons and magic condoms.

Obviously, this isn’t high art, and as low art goes, it’s good, but not great. A significant plus is the striking beauty of Chompunoot Piyapane (Gir) and Angie Grant (Fah). Chompunoot’s scantily-clad gyrations on the hood of a car are certain to induce a certain quickening of the pulse, but perhaps even more noteworthy is the fact that the irresistible Ms. Grant achieves very similar results late in the film with a simple come-hither gesture and a bat of her eyelids. Alas, some of the special effects leave a lot to be desired, and all things considered, the film doesn’t quite achieve the cultish, see-and-see-again quality it seems to be aiming for.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai |

Bangkok Haunted (2000) Review

Posted on January 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Bangkok Haunted" US DVD Cover

“Bangkok Haunted” US DVD Cover

Director: Pisuth Praesanegaim
Co-director: Oxide Pang
Cast: Pete Thong-Jeur, Pramote Sangsorn, Pimsiree Pimsee, Dawan Singha-Wee, Kalyanut Sriboonrueng
Running Time: 130 min.

By Numskull

Three nattering women in a bar each fire off a horror story aimed at the viewer. The first two miss, and the third inflicts only a minor flesh wound. Better luck next time, ladies.

To start things off, we have either “Legend of the Drum” or “Arm of the Dancer” depending on who you want to believe and whether or not you want a spoiler concerning what body part of which character gets sealed inside a drum. (You didn’t? Oh well.) This alternates between the present day and the past, beginning in 1917 but soon fast forwarding a decade or so. Paga is a girl whose father is dead and who has been taken in by a music instructor. Gnod is a dumb ugly drummer who is belittled and ignored by everyone except Paga. Fond is the dashing young gentleman who is smitten with Paga. And in the present day, Jieb, an antique dealer played by the same actress who portrays Paga, gets an old drum she didn’t order with her latest shipment.

So, you’re not stupid, right? You can see where this is going, right? There’s no need for me to continue, right? Good.

The next story also has two titles: “Corpse Oil” and “Black Magic Woman”. Now this is just silly. We’ve got this rather loose woman named Pan who starts using a mystical aphrodisiac called Ply Essence to enchant men who strike her fancy and then fuck their brains out. So there’s supposed to be this seductive quality to her. The problem is, when we are first introduced to her, she is shown sitting on the john (THE john, mind you, not A John) with her panties around her ankles. Oooh, yeah, I want summathat, baby. The only thing sexier than watching a sexy woman take a sexy leak is watching her ride the brown banana express, and since we can’t tell which one she’s doing, we can use our shameful imaginations to get the best of both worlds. Major turn-off, though, when Pan’s first victim is taken to a temple for an exorcism and starts spewing slimy yellow puke all over the place. The dude’s mouth is like a fire hose. I mean, that’s gross, y’know?

There is one good moment in here; when a flower delivery guy has to share an elevator with a zombie, and he can’t figure out what that nasty smell is. It’s just a stupid little comic relief scene that takes a handful of seconds, and it’s probably the best part of the whole film. Now how sad is that?

The third and (thank God) final story is “Revenge”, from Oxide Pang, better known for “The Eye” and “Bangkok Dangerous.” This doesn’t suck as much as the first two, but it’s still nothing to write home about. A detective named Nop is trying to determine whether a recent death is a suicide or a murder. Gunya, the dead girl, makes some generally unhelpful appearances. There are a few chilling moments here, the most memorable of which is a semi-obscured shot of a coat hanger abortion in progress; the pregnant mother is not what you would call a willing participant. As if we all didn’t know already, the evil that men do is far more hideous than any ghost or goblin, yadda yadda yadda. Let’s not overstate the matter.

The film makers were apparently very concerned that we realize what these characters’ favorite movies are. Jieb and Nop wear T-shirts for “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Fiddler on the Roof”, respectively, and that slut Pan has posters in her apartment for “Warriors of Virtue” (that Ronny Yu “I wanna be the next Jim Henson” shit) and “Godzilla” (the Hollywood version with Ferris B…uh, Matthew Broderick). This gives us, the audience, something to think about besides how much “Bangkok Haunted” sucks ass. Awfully considerate of them, don’t you think?

Skip this shit. Or at least the first two thirds of it. And don’t knock yourself out just trying to watch the last one. There; I have spoken.

Numskull’s Rating: “Arm of the Dancer”/”Legend of the Drum”: 3/10; “Corpse Oil”/”Black Magic Woman”: 2/10; “Revenge”: 5/10; Overall: 3/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , |

I Love You, Bruce Lee | aka His Last Days, His Last Nights (1975) Review

Posted on January 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"I Love You, Bruce Lee" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“I Love You, Bruce Lee” Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Bruce Lee & I
Director: John Lo Mar
Producer: Runme Shaw
Cast: Betty Ting Pei, Danny Lee, Wong San, Yuen Cheung Yan, Gam Dai, Shut Ma Wa Lung, Tony Liu, Chan Lau, Tino Wong Cheung, Chow Yun Gin, Yuen Shun Yi, Lee Chiu, Chin Yuet Sang, Corey Yuen Kwai
Running Time: 102 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

To understand the 1975 Shaw Brothers film, Bruce Lee & I, you must first understand who Betty Ting Pei was.

Betty Ting Pei was a Taiwanese actress who was known for appearing in sleazy films, often as a sex symbol, seductress, or some sort of bad girl. She made a name for herself in the early ’70s when she became romantically linked with Bruce Lee, who was Hong Kong’s biggest movie star. However, she became notoriously known around the world for being the last person to talk to – and see – Bruce just hours before his death.

It was on July 20, 1973, at Betty’s apartment, that Bruce complained of an intense headache. Betty gave him an Equagesic tablet (a kind of super aspirin) to relieve him of his pain. Shortly after, Bruce took a nap on her bed and never woke up.

On the day of his death, speculation began to circulate in the media. Bruce’s fans were shocked, angry and confused. What was Bruce Lee, a married father of two, doing in another woman’s bed? What was in the pill that Betty gave Bruce? Was Betty sent by gangsters to poison him? You really couldn’t blame anyone for making such accusations. After all, Bruce was only 32-years old and in better shape than most athletic 18-year olds.

Bruce Lee & I is the story of Bruce Lee’s final days (hence, the film’s alternate title: Bruce Lee: His Last Days, His Last Nights), as told through the eyes of Betty Ting Pei, who plays herself. Danny Lee (yes, THAT Danny Lee from John Woo’s 1989 hit The Killer) plays Bruce Lee. Does he do a good job? No, but in the last 30 years of countless Bruceploitation films, who ever did?

Bruce Lee & I is harsh and silly and whether any of it is factual or not, it’s disgraceful to not only Bruce, but to everyone who is portrayed in it, especially Betty, who proves that she lacks self-respect AND common sense. The film opens with Betty and Bruce having their very last fuck-session; Betty leaves the room, comes back, and Bruce is dead. Cut to the following day. Betty is crying and depressed over Bruce’s passing and is pressured by the rumors created by fans and the media. The rest of the film is one long flashback that revolves around her relationship with Bruce and how they met (yes, he saves her from thugs; then later, from debt collectors due to her gambling problems); as well as Betty’s early career, at which point we’re expected to feel sorry for her because producers forced her to appear in porn movies.

Forcing her to do pornos, eh? Yet here she is in a movie playing herself and it’s filled with pointless nudity and sex scenes between her (well, her body double, that is) and Bruce. When the two aren’t romping on trampolines, throwing pillows at each other in slow motion, or taking romantic walks; we get to see Bruce smoking weed, getting drunk, picking fights with white people and swallowing mysterious prescription drugs.

I’m usually a big fan of movies that are gutsy, revealing and provocative, but Bruce Lee & I is just plain stupid. Believe me, I’m not one of those sensitive Bruce Lee fanatics who loses sleep anytime someone says something negative about him. I’m actually one of those guys who supports the fact that Bruce messed around, ate hash and was a cocky asshole. But in this flick, it seemed forced, useless and presented in a corny fashion.

If you’re a Bruce Lee fan and watching Bruce Lee & I for the action or just for the sake of having a good time, it still might disappoint. To me, it was a slow, boring ride and I got sick of looking at Betty Ting Pei’s big head and Danny Lee’s flat ass. The action is there, but it’s nothing great – maybe a step above run-of-the-mill Bruce Li stuff. The action scenes were choreographed by Tang Chia and Yuen Woo-ping, who both probably knew this was a crappy flick so they put little effort into staging them.

It makes me wonder why the Shaw Brothers, a respected and legendary film company, would back a shameful movie like this. Maybe it was their way to get even with Bruce Lee for all those times he was throwing blank checks right back at them.

At the time of this film’s release, Bruce Lee was indeed fighting back from his grave.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 4/10 (recommended for die-hard Bruce Lee exploitation fans only)

Posted in Bruceploitation, Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Rebel Intruders, The | aka Killer Army (1980) Review

Posted on January 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Rebel Intruders" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Rebel Intruders” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: The Guerillas
Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Philip Kwok, Wong Lik, Sun Chien, Chiang Sheng, Lo Meng, Lu Feng, Choh Seung Wan, Wang Han Chen, Yeung Hung, Chui Tai Ping, Chan Hon Kwong, Chan Shu Kei, Chin Siu Ho, Chow Kin Ping, Chui Shing Chan, Keung Hon, Lui Hung, Siao Yuk, Tony Tam
Running Time: 90 min.

By Joe909

Made towards the end of their run with the Shaw Brothers, Killer Army features the Venoms at the peak of their martial arts excellence. Each and every one of them gets a chance to shine in this action-packed epic, save for Sun Chien, who only gets one fight scene. But even in that quick glimpse, we see that his legendary kicking ability has gone from great to amazing. It seems that Chang Cheh was inspired by the high-octane martial arts displayed in Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung’s movies of the period, and wanted to prove that the Venoms were just as capable.

I’m not sure what time period this movie takes place in, but I’m guessing it’s the early 1900s. None of the characters have the pigtails or long hair normally associated with historical epics, so it’s not set during the Ching empire or the distant past. The Venoms do however wear costumes as usually seen in movies set during the 1800s (such as “Two Champions of Shaolin”). For once we get to see their real hair, as the Venoms go without wigs or ponytails. But unfortunately, the film being made in the late Œ70s, they all have those hockey-player mullet Œdos that were the style of the time.

Whatever the time period, China’s having some problems: war’s ravaging the country, and refugees flood from one city to the next. Lu Feng’s placed in charge of one town, and beneath him he has three men who are responsible for various sections of it. Sun Chien’s one of these guys, and he seems the most good-hearted, refusing to allow his men to beat the starving refugees. Another of Lu Feng’s co-bosses, Chang, is a big guy (he played the character who carried the big hammer in “Shaolin Rescuers”) who employs a legion of fighters who carry, for some reason, metal fists to fight with. Another of the co-bosses has a group of sword-carriers, and finally, Lu Feng’s men carry spears, as does the man himself. Lu Feng sends these guys out to rule the city and generally terrorize and murder the refugees.

Kuo Choi’s one of the refugees, and he gets into a scuffle when he’s caught stealing food to stifle his hunger. Kuo escapes into a brothel, sneaking into the owner’s room. She flirts with him and gives him a job as doorman. In a weird moment, the woman asks Kuo to brush her hair. He thrusts his fist in her face and says “Listen, I’m a male chauvinist pig. Do it yourself.” The two trade a series of bizarre flirtations/threats through the rest of the film. I guess we’re supposed to believe that this lady pines for Kuo Choi, but there’s never any reason why, or any follow-through.

Meanwhile, Lo Meng, another refugee, stumbles through a downpour and seeks shelter outside of Chang’s (the big guy) school. Chang’s students pick a fight, and of course Lo trounces them. Chang invites Lo inside for a spar. Here Chang pulls on an immense pair of boxing gloves, which are apparently made of metal. He spars with Lo Meng, then offers him a job.

In another part of the city, Chiang Sheng steals food and feeds fellow refugees. He’s spotted by some men, and after a quick fight Sun Chien comes onto the scene. He offers Chiang a job on the spot, in a casino Sun Chien owns. Both Lo and Kuo end up in the casino, and soon discover how Chiang works players against each other, hoping to score a tip from winners. This leads to an epic brawl, with Lo, Kuo, and Chiang taking each other on. Lo and Kuo realize they’re from the same town and know each others’ kung-fu teachers, so they call off the fight and go out with Chiang to get drunk. I should mention that during this brawl, Chang Cheh pokes some fun at his past films, having Lo Meng easily knock down a practitioner of the snake style, as popularized in “Five Deadly Venoms.”

The three decide to become blood brothers, biting their thumbs (their skin must be paper-thin, they draw blood so easily) and pouring their blood into tea, which they drink. After this, the three go through a few misadventures, until an hour into the movie the plot kicks in, and Lu Feng’s subordinates kill the ambassador of a rival general, and peg the three blood brothers as the fall men. Our three heroes learn of their plan, however, and so begins one protracted fight sequence that sees the three heroes go from one end of the city to the next, looking for safe harbor.

I’d say the problem with Killer Army is that it has a leisurely pace throughout the first half, then overcompensates by featuring too many fight scenes in the last forty minutes. If more time had been spent on getting to know the characters, instead of just setting up the various scenes, then perhaps the fights would have more dramatic value. But as it is, they’re just punch-ups, however punch-ups of a certain magnitude. In this way the movie reminds me of “Crippled Avengers,” another Venoms movie that starts off with promise, but has too many pointless fights in the last thirty minutes for its own good.

An interesting note is that Chiang Sheng, usually the light skill expert, takes more lives than anyone else in the movie. Armed with a wooden shield and a sword, Chiang flips to and fro as he slices his sword into and through his opponents. Lo Meng, as usual, relies on his own brawn and Mantis Fist technique. Kuo Choi employs a three-section staff and a small table; Chang Cheh was no doubt trying to up the bar as set by Sammo Hung in his Golden Harvest films of the period. Sun Chien’s only weapon is a dagger hidden in his boot, and Lu Feng takes everyone on with a massive spear. He really doesn’t do much until the very end, when he takes on our heroes in a protracted, bloody battle.

Killer Army isn’t the best Venoms movie, as it falls beneath such greats as “Invincible Shaolin” and even “Five Deadly Venoms.” However it’s better than a lot of their more popular films, such as “Crippled Avengers.” I should mention that the version I watched was purportedly uncut, which is more than can be said for the NS DVD release, which, even though it’s widescreen, has supposedly been edited severely. Since I haven’t seen that version, I’m not sure what NS cut out of the movie. They probably didn’t cut out much violence, as Killer Army isn’t the goriest of the Venoms movies. What blood is shown is mostly just guys getting impaled by swords and spears; there certainly isn’t any carnage on the scale of “Super Ninjas” or “Two Champions of Shaolin.”

Joe909’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Magnificent Ruffians, The | aka Destroyers (1979) Review

Posted on January 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Magnificent Ruffians" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Magnificent Ruffians” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Lu Feng, Lo Meng, Wong Lik, Philip Kwok Chung Fung, Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, Lau Fong Sai, Wang Lai, Annie Liu On Lai, Chui Tai Ping, Chan Fai Kei, Chan Hon Kwong, Chan Hung, Choi Kwok Keung, Chow Kin Ping
Running Time: 100 min.

By Joe909

Magnificent Ruffians is part of a trio of Venoms movies that can be lumped together, as all of them take place in the same time period (early 20th century), and in each movie the Venoms play the same character types (starving kung-fu masters); the other two movies are Killer Army and Daredevils. I’d say of the three, Killer Army is the best, but Magnificent Ruffians comes in a close second.

The movie opens with Lu Feng, a warlord who uses a golden spear, bemoaning that kung-fu has become useless. Guns are being introduced to China, and no one wants to learn the martial arts anymore. Lu’s protection agency is suffering, but he still finds time to trick what few kung-fu fighters he can find into coming to his town, so he can murder them in mortal combat. This opening scene is very effective, as Lu greets visiting kung-fu fighters like a perfect gentleman, and then slaughters them without mercy.

In another part of Lu’s town, Sun Chien, Chiang Sheng, and new guy Wang Li bum around, starving kung-fu fighters who’ve been left unemployed by China’s many recent changes. What they do is eat their fill in restaurants, and then let the employees beat them instead of paying. Kuo Choi is in a similar plight, and eventually he hooks up with the three. Meanwhile, Lo Meng plays a hot-tempered owner of a failing escort agency; Lu Feng wants to buy his property, but Lo won’t sell, instead beating Lu’s men into submission. Lo lives with his mom and sister, both of whom try to keep him from fighting. Yes, Lo Meng is a total mama’s boy in this movie. But what’s worse is that he’s barely in it until the middle half.

Lu Feng eventually gets Kuo Choi and his pals to live at his estate, where they’re free to drink, carouse, and practice kung-fu. Lu’s plan is to get the four of them to take out Lo Meng. Lu can’t do this himself, because he’s smitten with Lo Meng’s cute sister. So he wants Lo killed quietly. Lu fools Kuo and pals into thinking Lo Meng is a bad guy who needs to be punished. The four of them head over to Lo’s place, but a problem arises: the five “ruffians” realize they share the same outlook on life. Instead of killing Lo, the four become friends with him, meeting him every afternoon at an abandoned temple to practice kung-fu.

Lu has his henchman secretly replace Kuo Choi’s staff with a replica that’s stuffed with explosives. At their next kung-fu practice, Kuo hits Lo with it. The explosion kills Lo. Shocked, Kuo Choi runs for his life, as Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, and Wang Li assume he’s been hired by Lu to murder Lo Meng. Lu’s happy with the results, and shows up to promptly take on the three of them, in “revenge” for Lo. The three realize they’ve been duped, and put on a heroic stand, but only Chiang Sheng survives Lu Feng’s devastating techniques.

Chiang Sheng and Kuo Choi team up, after discovering the disturbing fate of Lo’s mother and sister. They decide to take on Lu Feng. Not understanding his style, they create impromptu counters and attacks. The three engage in battle at dawn the next morning, in a fight that’s brimming with the flips, leaps, and violence one would expect from the Venoms. Of course, only one of them’s left standing at the end.

Magnificent Ruffians isn’t action-packed, the violence is minimal, the comedic bits are a bit annoying, and the movie seems like an obvious move by Chang Cheh to make a Jackie Chan-type film. Lo Meng is underused, and the action lacks the crazy weapons you love in Venoms movies. The comedy-heavy first half reminds me too much of another Venoms movie, Shaolin Rescuers, which was a superior film. Regardless, this is still an enjoyable movie, but it’s nowhere near my favorite Venoms experience.

What brings this movie down is the monotony of it. Kuo Choi et al meet Lo Meng every day, and engage in fight after fight. It’s cool seeing these guys show off their skills, but I prefer the Venoms taking on multiple foes, as happens often in Killer Army. Here the actors aren’t used to their fullest extent. Lu Feng takes a smaller role, mostly appearing on the fringes except for the opening and closing. Chiang Sheng and Kuo Choi are the stars in this one, but Sun Chien actually gets to see a lot of action. Usually Chang brushed him to the side. Wang Li, normally a villain, fits in fine with the others; I especially like how his early scenes with Chiang and Sun are so Three Stooges-esque. In fact, the title for this film has always seemed like a great name for a Three Stooges short.

The weapons are relegated to Chiang Sheng’s twin swords, Kuo Choi’s staff, Wang Li’s twin axes, and Lu Feng’s massive golden spear. Apparently Lu created several techniques for this weapon, which shows how far the Venoms went in making their movies. The attention given to the choreography for these quickly-made kung-fu bashers had obviously progressed since the days of David Chiang. Chang’s directing is a cut above the static shots he reverted to in his later films, giving us a glimpse of his earlier skill. The shot of Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, and Wang Li approaching Kuo Choi after he accidentally kills Lo Meng is especially impressive. As for the violence, Lu slices a few people from head to toe (you just see a bloody line running along their corpses, no guts), but the film is nowhere as violent as other Venoms movies, such as Masked Avengers or Kid with the Golden Arm.

Now, as for DVD availability. Skip the NS disc. In fact, avoid it like the plague. As usual with the NS releases, they’ve sourced their DVD from an edited European print. Several minutes of important footage have been cut from the NS DVD, including a great scene in which Kuo Choi and pals decide to buy Lo Meng a meal. Lo’s starving too, but refuses to accept their food, as it’s been paid for with Lu Feng’s money. So Chiang Sheng pawns his swords so the four of them can use their own money to buy Lo Meng a meal. He accepts, and the next day pawns something of his own so he can buy them food. This is actually a touching sequence, as it shows the camaraderie between these guys. But it’s all been cut mercilessly from the NS DVD, as has other equally-important footage. My advice: either wait for the Celestial release, or find a bootleg copy of the uncut print in the trading community.

Joe909’s Rating: 7.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , |

Killers Five (1969) Review

Posted on January 21, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Killers Five" Chinese Theatrical Poster

"Killers Five" Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Killers 5
Director: Cheng Kang
Cast: Tang Ching, Li Ching, Guk Fung (Ku Feng), Cheng Miu (Ching Miao), Wong Kwong Yue (Wang Kuang-Yu), Carrie Ku Mei
Running Time: 81 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

A princess has been kidnapped by an evil warlord and it’s up to a master swordsman (Tang Ching) to rescue her. Recruited by the princess’ father, the swordsman enlists a group of individuals to assist him with the mission: a skilled female archer (Li Ching), an avid swimmer (Ku Feng), a drunken climber (Cheng Miu) and a mysterious deadly burglar (Wong Kwong Yue). Together they travel to the Mansion on Golden Dragon Hill, where the princess is being held captive. An adventurous tale of deceit, betrayal and brutality ensues…

Killers Five starts off very tame and family movie-like. The interaction between the title characters is humorous and light hearted, which leads the viewer into thinking that the tale will be a festive action-adventure flick which with a low body count and a happy ending; it doesn’t exactly go from tidy clean to bloody dirty, but the direction it does take comes by surprise.

Even though you have to sit through most of the film before you start to see satisfying amounts of action, the film is paced so well that you barely even notice, but when the brutality comes, it comes: Blades will penetrate flesh. Good guys will be spitting gobs of blood. Eye balls will be punctured. There will be blood…

The action is what you’d expect from a 1969 Shaw Brothers swordplay flick. A little chalky, kind of stiff, but always interesting and creative.

In terms of cuts, editing and camera angles, the film suffers lightly from being less fluid and polished than, say, a Chang Cheh film of the same time period. However, it has so much going for it in other departments that you ignore its rough edges.

Like most of the Shaw Brothers films of the late 1960’s/early 1970’s, the set designs are lavish and less lazy-looking than what would appear in later films.

The bottom line is director Cheng Kang kicks ass. This is the second movie I’ve seen of his (the first being Swords of Swords, which was one hell of a movie) and I want to see more.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , |

Golden Swallow | aka The Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick (1968) Review

Posted on January 21, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Golden Swallow" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Golden Swallow” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Jimmy Wang Yu, Cheng Pei Pei, Chiu Sam Yin, Yeung Chi Hing (Yang Chih-Ching), Lo Lieh, Wu Ma, David Chiang, Lau Kar Wing, Cheng Miu, Lam Kau, Ku Feng
Running Time: 104 mins.

By Mighty Peking Man

Golden Swallow is the sequel to King Hu’s 1966 masterpiece, Come Drink With Me. Chang Cheh takes over the director’s chair and transforms Hu’s classic theatrical-style flick into an extravaganza of extreme violence, comic book-like gore, and larger-than-life characters with invincible powers way beyond belief. Fans of Chang Cheh’s most colorful blood-filled films, such as Return One-Armed Swordsman and Five Element Ninjas, are guaranteed to get an equal kick out of this one.

Golden Swallow (which was also known by its less than fitting title, The Girl With The Thunderbolt Kick) revolves around the further adventures of its title character, Golden Swallow (Cheng Pei Pei). This time around, she’s forced into action when a figure from her mysterious past goes on a killing rampage. What’s really pissing Golden Swallow off is the fact the unknown killer intentionally leaves evidence that points the blame to her.

Golden Swallow also makes room for a heartfelt love triangle involving a mad, but righteous swordsman named Silver Roc (Jimmy Wang Yu) and a gentle warrior named Golden Whip (Lo Lieh). The three team up to conquer the evil forces of the martial world, but their joint venture only lasts so long, due to the two men’s virile egos. Ultimately, a duel to the death is planned between them, leaving Golden Swallow caught between two men, both of whom she admires.

Chang Pei Pei and Lo Lieh get a good chunk of screen time, but despite the title, the movie belongs to Jimmy Wang Yu. Fresh off the tremendous success of One-Armed Swordsman, it’s a spotlight that’s well-deserved.

The well-choreographed swordplay, high body count, and bloody slaughter is nearly all-you-can-eat. I’m sure Chang Cheh was questioned about the syrup budget for the buckets and buckets of fake blood needed for some of the full-scale battles. He also seemed to be testing the limits of his own gutsiness by using the honor and loyalty of his characters (including small children) as an excuse to outdo one gore scene after another. Believe me, that’s a good thing.

Even though Golden Swallow is mostly brutal, it’s beautifully executed and uses Shaw Scope to its full potential. It’s also hard not to take notice of the exuberant soundtrack, which hints a catchy melancholic score reminiscent of Japanese swordplay films and Italian Westerns.

Like the One-Armed Swordsman series, Golden Swallow defines what a Chang Cheh movie is all about.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , |
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