Kids Return (1996) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Kids Return" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Kids Return" Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Takeshi Kitano
Writer: Takeshi Kitano
Producers: Masayuki Mori, Yasushi Tsuge, Takio Yoshida
Cast: Masanobu Ando, Ken Kaneko, Leo Morimoto, Hatsuo Yamaya, Mitsuko Oka, Ryo Ishibashi, Susumu Terajima, Koichi Shigehisa, Michisuke Kashiwaya, Yuko Daike, Atsuki Ueda, Ren Osugi, Masami Shimojoe
Running Time: 108 min.

By Equinox21

Kids Return was not even close to being my favorite Takeshi Kitano movie, but it wasn’t bad in the least. It didn’t really even feel as much like a Kitano movie as one might expect, because there’s much more dialogue and much more happens as opposed to an almost minimalist style of film-making (like his others).

The plot follows two friends in high school, Masaru and Shinji, who are slackers and bullies. They’re going nowhere with their lives and donât ever study. Getting beat up motivates Masaru to take up boxing, and convinces Shinji to do the same. As Shinji gets better at it, Masaru quits school and boxing to join the Yakuza. The movie follows them for a few years as Shinji gets better and better at boxing and Masaru gets higher and higher in Yakuza ranks, and they grow further apart.

This movie seemed to me to involve lots of familiarity and then almost inevitable changes to that which the characters (and through them, us) find familiar. A number of restaurant scenes in which the same things happen repeatedly, but then one day change, is an example of this. Shinji’s training regimen is another example. He runs the same places every day, trains the same way, but then one day it is changed due to circumstances that are a somewhat key part of the plot (which I won’t spoil).

I did notice that this movie employs a theme that Kitano seems to use in a couple of his other movies. Without giving anything away, I’ll simply state it as being the rise and fall of characters in their particular focuses. Think Brother with the rise and fall of the gang in LA and Scene at the Sea with the rise and fall of Shigeru in his surfing career. It’s not as drastic in Kids Return, but is still fairly prominent and in perfect fitting with the title of the film.

This is yet another great Kitano film with a terrific Hisaishi score. You’d be wise to check it out if you like Kitano’s films at all.

Equinox21’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , , |

Crows Zero | aka Crows 0 (2007) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Crows Zero" International Theatrical Poster

"Crows Zero" International Theatrical Poster

AKA: Crows: Episode 0
Director: Takashi Miike
Producer: Mataichiro Yamamoto
Cast: Shun Oguri, Kyosuke Yabe, Takayuki Yamada, Shunsuke Daito, Meisa Kuroki, Tsutomu Takahashi, Goro Kishitani
Running Time: 131 min.

By Ningen

A new kid in town named Genji enrolls in a “bad” school where he meets a thug named Tamao who runs the place. Aspiring to head his own yanki[Japanese JD] empire, in order to impress his yakuza pop, Genji challenges Tamao for his position. However, since he’s up against a formidable army, he has to beat and win over the factions under Tamao’s control, in order to have some back-up for his final match. Whether by fist or communication, Genji slowly builds his own army against Tamao.

Based on a manga, Crows Zero will appeal to people looking for the school-yard fight equivalent to 300. While that’s not the only thing going on in the movie, that pretty much sums up what you can expect. Genji does have a potential love interest whose girlfriends he tries to use to win over one of his rivals. But she’s mostly there for the bad, but “motivational”, country hip-hop montage. Otherwise, she’s just the obligatory comic relief and eye candy in a sea of sausage. Genji also has a “confidante” in the form of a Barney Fife-like yakuza who’s trying to re-live his youth through Genji while trying to stop a war between his “family” and Genji’s “family”. Ken also teaches Kenji what it takes to be an Alpha Male.

While I generally enjoy the laguid direction of Crows Zero, it suffers from too many supporting characters and subplots. Each different yanki punk has different motivations for their actions. And while that does give some depth to the overall story, it also takes away the impact from the beat-downs, since the focus tends to shift to other issues, such as Tamao’s buddy being in the hospital. I know the whole point of the movie is to suggest that there’s more to life than being Top Dog, but the ending which segues into the inevitable sequel undermines that argument, since Genji still continues to spar with others.

So the real glue which holds the movie together is the metal soundtrack which sounds like a Japanese imitation of the South Park guys’ musical parodies played straight. The rock basically sums up how the characters feel, so they don’t have to do it themselves, and they can just get to the bruising. The fights themselves range from brutal to absurdly melodramatic. Every (stereo)type of Japanese gang is thrown into the mix, and they basically just pound away at each other, usually as dirtily as possible. It does get boring after a while, but it doesn’t lose its impact. I just wish the action was a bit faster, and less “busy” with all the extras on-screen. But if you need a “leave your brain at the door” flick, you can’t grow wrong with Crows Zero.

Ningen’s Rating: 8/10 for the small fights, 6.5/10 for the big fights, 6/10 for the pointless side-stories, and 7.5/10 for the overall entertainment value

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

City of Lost Souls, The | aka The Hazard City (2000) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The City of Lost Souls" International Theatrical Poster

“The City of Lost Souls” International Theatrical Poster

AKA: The City of Strangers
Director: Takashi Miike
Cast: Teah, Michelle Reis, Patricia Manterola, Mitsuhiro Oikawa, Koji Kikkawa, Ren Osugi, Akaji Maro, Anatoli Krasnov, Sebastian DeVicente, Terence Yin, Atsushi Okuno, Akira Emoto, Eugene Nomura
Running Time: 99 min.

By Joe909

Tarantino haters take note: Asian cinema is now ripping-off your whipping boy. QT is always scorned for “lifting” scenes, images, and plots from Asian action movies; now that same scorn can be directed back at the East. Of course, the QT bashers will never do this; in their hypocrisy they’ll just say that Tarantino’s getting what he deserves, or they’ll go to absurd lengths to explain away any and all similarities between these movies and his.

I present to you City of Lost Souls, aka Hazard City, which not only plot-wise is a direct lift of QT’s superior “True Romance,” but also is nearly a scene-by-scene reconstruction of the film. However, whereas the two leads in “True Romance” are likeable, down-and-outers who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, the male and female leads in Hazard City (Teah as Mario, and Michelle Reis looking fantastic as Kei) are too cool for words, and willingly put themselves in dangerous positions.

Like “True Romance,” these two share a wild and crazy love, and will go to great lengths for each other. There’s also the requisite goons and gangsters whom they interact with, and the old steal-a-bag-that-turns-out-to-contain-a-shitload-of-cocaine gag. Just like Clarence and Alabama, Mario and Kei decide to sell the coke and make off to a better life. As in both films, things don’t go as planned.

The most obvious filmic theft in City of Lost Souls occurs during a standoff between a pair of yakuza thugs and a group of Chinese triads. The triad boss relates a story about how the Chinese tried to educate an “island of monkeys in the East” in the ways of the Chinese, but the “monkeys,” (aka the Japanese) just couldn’t get it. This story causes both parties to laugh crazily, before guns are drawn. A bullseye rip-off of the infamous scene between Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper in “True Romance.” It’s just not as good here, or as effective.

But beyond all the nit-picking, City of Lost Souls isn’t so bad a movie. It has a modern-day fairy tale quality (jumping safely out of helicopters without parachutes, magical tattoos), just like “True Romance” did (woops, there’s another comparison); but TR got it right by living up to that fairy tale aspect and giving us a happy ending (in the film, at least, but also bear in mind that in QT’s script, Alabama survived). City of Lost Souls goes the downer route, which is just becoming tired and outdated these days. I don’t know why so many screenwriters think it’s “shocking” and “unique” to kill off main characters in the last act. I guess they think it will make them seem like original filmmakers. It doesn’t.

That being said, there are some cool moments in this movie. The CGI cockfight is so stupid it’s great, and the many action scenes are slick and well-made. Unfortunately, they just don’t last very long, and the actor playing Mario doesn’t look comfortable holding a gun. He’s got the look and the attitude, but he just can’t carry it off. Michelle Reis, however, is pure badass, and the part where she lights some poor sap on fire is probably the film’s highlight.

There are several gunfights (one of which ends with an unexpected game of ping-pong), old-fashioned beatdowns aplenty, and a few one-liners. There’s also a cool bit of caprioera, as several Brazilians try to take out Mario, but director Miike cops out by not letting us see the fight itself. I wouldn’t consider City of Lost Souls to be a straight-up action film, though. It’s more of a post-modern “offbeat gangster” sort of flick, with a mishmash of languages and the occasional, grotesque image. This is of course required, this being a Japanese film; I think it’s written somewhere that all Japanese movies must have at least one gross-out factor. In the case of City of Lost Souls, it’s a few pieces of shit floating in a toilet as some guy gets his head dunked in. Scatology for the sake of scatology, it’s totally unnecessary.

A last word: the Hong Kong dvd release is one of those “Side A” and “Side B” deals. This means that once you get halfway through the movie, you have to flip the disc over and continue watching. It’s like regressing back to the days of laserdiscs, and it annoys the hell out of me.

Joe909’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Loonieweed

City of Lost Souls was my first venture into the crazy and fucked up mind of Takashi Miike. After hearing so much about the guy for such a long time, I was eagerly excited to check out one of his films; although, IMO, I was somewhat let down with the film, but I knew there would be a lot more to see from Miike. Granted, nothing beats the midget overdosing on the bench, the odd POV shot inside of a toilet, jumping out of a helicopter and surviving, and of course, two guys hanging out and falling in love. Awww, isn’t that sweet? While the film was entertaining, I was expecting more after hearing about Ichi, Audition, and of course, the DOA trilogy. It’s not to say anybody else will hate CoLS, just make sure you don’t watch it thinking you’ll experience something along the lines of Ichi The Killer. Just think of CoLS as True Romance Lite, minus Elvis fucking and Gary Oldman.

Loonieweed’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Audition (1999) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Audition" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Audition” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Takashi Miike
Cast: Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina, Miyuki Matsuda, Renji Ishibashi, Tetsu Sawaki, Jun Kunimura, Toshie Negishi, Ken Mitsuishi, Ren Ohsugi
Running Time: 115 min.

By Alexander

Takashi Miike’s Audition scared the hell out of me. Even though I figured out the “twist” early in the film, and I knew exactly where the story was headed, I was still unprepared for a handful of its shocking scenes and revelations. Three-fingered hands, man-dogs, dismembered tongues, razor wire, oral sex and a plethora of other fucked-up details left me wishing I’d saved Audition for the next afternoon. (A BRIGHT afternoon with plenty of sunlight streaming though my windows, birds chirping a happy song and the sounds of… lawnmowers or something in the background. Y’know, for comfort.)

I’d recommend Audition because of the scares alone. While above I may have sounded like a complete pussy, I actually do have a high tolerance for horror and gore. And while Audition isn’t one of the most violent movies I’ve ever seen, it’s certainly one of the creepiest and atmospheric.

However, what truly makes Audition a classic of the genre are the performances of Ryu Ishibashi (as Ryo) and Miyaki Matsuda (as Eihi). Both offer nuanced, believable performances. (I say “believable” because it’s necessary the audience believe Ryu would fall for Eihi; that he would pursue her despite his rational nature and the many hints that the object of his desires isn’t as demure and marriage-worthy as he initially believes. She’s plenty fucked-up, y’all.) Because of the recent spate of Hollywood remakes of Asian films, I’ve gotten into the habit of imagining which American actors would best suit the roles of their Asian counterparts. Ishibashi and Matsuda are so convincing in their parts, that I couldn’t think of anyone, from television or film, who could capture the characters quite the way these two do. Brilliant.

Alexander’s Rating: 8.5/10

By Dragon Ma

Seriously, I’m at a loss for words to describe this film, I’d heard about being very slow and that it’s better going into it without knowing much about it. I think that works in the film’s favour because the first moves very slowly and it takes forever to go anywhere but in a way you get a feel for the characters and in a film like this, that’s essential. For the first half, this film moves along like it’s a drama with nothing much happening and then Miike slaps you in the face, although, to be fair, he drops hints here and there but nothing to prepare you for what’s coming.

For those unfamiliar, Ryo Ishibashi plays Aoyama a producer who, after the death of his wife decides to have an audition to find a replacement. Now that idea doesn’t put Aoyama in a very favorable light but he’s not totally in love with the idea but and it’s his partner who manages to convince him but it still seems very manipulative. I won’t say anything more than that. Now, I don’t mean to spoil anything, so if you haven’t seen it, stop reading, go and watch it, come back and continue reading.

HOLY SHIT, Miike really kicks you in the nuts in the second half, the torture scene in the living room is probably the most gut-wrenching scene I’ve ever seen, I was literally sweating and I wondered if Miike was going to leave you clutching your nuts or deliver another swift kick.

Dragon Ma’s Rating: 9/10

By Woody

Takashi Miike’s cinematic “fuck you” to the audience succeeds brilliantly in shattering audience expectations, and will leave you either in awe or in utter disgust. Or, as it was in my case, both. But that’s the point, isn’t it?

The plot is simple. Ryo Ishibashi is a middle aged widower with a nice teenage son. Lonely, and with prodding from his son, Ryo tells a producer friend he wants to find a wife. The producer decides that they will hold a fake film audition. Ryo is immediately smitten with the stunning and angelic former dancer Eihi Shiina. After the audition, Ryo and Eihi go on dates. Everything might just work out for the two. But lest we not forget, this is a Takashi Miike film.

The performances, cinematography, direction, all of that is good and dandy. Eihi Shiina is chilling and beautiful. Ryo Ishibashi is a great everyman hero. The cinematography is wonderful. The direction is brilliant.

I loved this movie. It fucked me up. When I let friends borrow it, it fucks them up. It is right up there with “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer” and “The Untold Story” in the pantheon of fucked up, unforgettable movies you just can’t forget.

There isn’t too much I can say without giving it all away. I don’t want to be like other reviewers, who have ruined it for so many others. All I can say is, be prepared. This movie will get to you.

Takashi Miike is a madman. Don’t believe me? Watch this on a triple bill with “Ichii The Killer” and “Visitor Q”.

deeper…deeper…deeper…

Woody’s Rating: 10/10

By Len

In a perfect world, people would see this film without hearing anything of it beforehand. I can only imagine the emotional impact this movie might have to people who haven’t heard of this before going to the cinema. So if you haven’t seen this one yet, please stop reading this review now and go watch this film.

Now, on with the actual review (spoilers ahead, but I tried to reveal as little as possible about the twists and turns of the story), this movie is utterly sick. I don’t consider myself to be particulary squeamish, but the finale in Audition made me feel somewhat ill. I had heard much of this film, mainly praises on how this movie manages to shock people who aren’t prepared for it. So unfortunately, I knew pretty much what to expect. Even if I hadn’t heard anything, the back of the DVD case (Universe, Region3) spoiled the ending for me with it’s amusing plot synopsis:

“But he just can’t imagine that this woman, looking innocent, is a horrible and bloody maniac instead. He has never been that scaring and painful…”

So yeah, I was prepared for the bloodbath in the ending. But what surprised me was the sadistic nature of the violence as it was very unlike anything I had seen in a horror film previously. There’s something very disturbing about a scene where the lovely Shiina Eihi happily does some DYI piercing on the main character while slowly humming “Kiri-Kiri-Kiri”, inserting needles on his face. And if that wasn’t enough, it’s followed by a scene of amputation with a steel wire. Service with a smile indeed.

Anyways, enough of the horrible things happening in the film. The main idea of the film is rather simple. A middle aged Japanese film exec wants to get remarried and the perfect girl turns out to be a sadistic psychopath.

Combining a tender romantic tale with Lynchian dream sequences and a dose of sadistic violence in the finale, Audition is kept together by the clever direction of Takeshi Miike. In the beginning, the film seems almost like a Japanese version of a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan lovestory, until it suddenly starts being more like a psychological horror story that comes to a shocking conclusion. I’m not planning on seeing this again anytime soon, but I have to admit that this film is definately worth seeing once. Infact, I would call this film somewhat a must-see, due to this being something that most people haven’t seen before.

Oh, and the ending rocks. Very much. Hollywood slashers could learn a thing or two from it.

Len’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

Brother (2000) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Brother" International Theatrical Poster

“Brother” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Takeshi Kitano
Cast: Takeshi Kitano, Omar Epps, Kuroudo Maki, Masaya Kato, Susumu Terajima, Royale Watkins, Lombardo Boyar, Ren Osugi, Ryo Ishibashi, James Shigeta
Running Time: 114 min.

By Woody

Ignore the critics, this is a great flick. One of Kitano’s best? That’s hard to say. Almost any film pales in comparison to classics like “Hana-bi” and “Sonatine”. Maybe it was my lowered expectations, but I really loved this one.

In “Brother”, Beat Takeshi plays a yakuza who is forced to join his younger brother in Los Angeles when it is apparent that a war is going to break out. When he arrives, he learns that his brother has dropped out of school and is now pushing drugs with some buddies. After some initial anger, Takeshi decides to help his brother and his buddies in taking down LA’s other suppliers in order to build a successful criminal organization.

Like all of Kitano’s crime movies, the focus of this film is not on action. The focus here is on the little things. A game of basketball between Japanese and American gangsters. A football game on the beach. A dice game between Kitano and his brother’s friend. A paper airplane gliding between two buildings. A punch in the stomach from a disappointed older brother. The look on the face of a young man witnessing his first murder. Lesser directors would emphasize the bloodier moments, and while there are plenty (and I mean plenty) violent, bloody moments in the film, they take a backseat to observation and the comparing of Eastern and Western ways.

Kitano also shows that he hasn’t lost his knack for creating likable characters with the minimum amount of dialogue possible. He also has a large cast in this one, with a lot of small characters. Both those factors could potentially make it pretty hard to comment on the performances, but if there is one thing Kitano knows how to do, it is to create a likable cast. Kitano is great, playing in his usual quiet, understated style. Omar Epps, who has the biggest non-Japanese performance here, is very good, and the relationship between his character, Denny, and Kitano’s, Aniki, is fun to watch and believable. All of the supporting actors are pretty good, too, and it’s nice to see Claude Maki in another Kitano film (he was the star of Kitano’s seminal “A Scene at the Sea”).

It is also worth mentioning the score of the film, which is very nice (as is usually the case in a Kitano film). It consists mostly of laid back jazz, which perfectly compliments this laid back movie. Only Kitano can make a bloody, violent crime movie and still give it a laid back feeling.

In conclusion, this is one to own. A laid-back, thoughtful East Meets West crime flick with great acting and virtually no stereotypes. Kitano is one of the great living directors, and hopefully this film will get him more recognition in the western hemisphere. It gets my fullest recommendation.

Woody’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Tequila

Weeeeeeelll then, Kitano eh? Everybody’s favourite stand up comic/journalist/sadistic gameshow host/artist/actor returns in what I believe is his ninth directed film, but I could (read: probably am) be wrong.

Brother came out in 2000, but has only just been released in some territories (i.e. USA which is surprising seeing half of it was filmed in LA and it has US actors in it) and has been rated as “the worst Kitano movie” by a lot of people. But fuck that opinion. It may well be the worst Beat Takeshi flick, but it’s still bloody brilliant and I don’t mean that “bloody” as just a way of getting my point across.

Brother follows disgraced Yakuza Yamamoto (Kitano), known as Aniki (big brother) for most of the film to LA where he plans to meet his little brother whom he sent to America many years ago when they left their orphanage. Thing is, while Aniki is a big-time Yakuza, his lil’ bro is a small time drug dealer working for Mexicans in his black/latino/japanese gang. The comic relief that crops up in almost all Kitano movies is here in it’s usual dark form – for example how Aniki introduces himself to Denny (Omar Epps): Denny tries to scam Aniki by walking into him and dropping a bottle of wine before claiming it cost $200. Aniki calmly bends down and picks up the broken bottle…and stabs Denny in the eye with it, before giving him some knuckles to the belly.

The violence is pretty damn graphic and you see intestines, severed fingers and heads and several stabbings and shootings and the acting is usual Kitano: excellent, although some of the support is nothing special. The story is gripping and the action is very quick and noisy and will probably make you jump a few times.

Overall, I would say that Kitano’s aim of getting a Yakuza-style movie into the American mainstream has failed as it is certain of an NC-17 certificate if not higher in it’s uncut form and it is too arty for it to be a hit. If compared to a HK movie, I’d say that the movie plays out like The Longest Nite with more violence and less stylish moments (i.e. the mirrors gunfight).

Still, see it, it’s unBeatable (groan).

Tequila’s Rating: 9/10 – A great addition to the black comedy crime drama genre

Posted in Asian Related, Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

No Blood No Tears (2002) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"No Blood No Tears" Korean Theatrical Poster

“No Blood No Tears” Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Ryoo Seung-wan
Cast: Jeon Do-Yeon, Lee Hye-Young, Jung Jae-Young, Shin Goo, Jung Doo-Hong, Kim Yeong-In, Baek Chan-Ki, Lee Yeoung-Hu, Ryoo Seung-Bum, Kim Soo-Hyun
Running Time: 116 min.

By Dragon Ma

I managed to watch this last night and and it came as complete surprise, I’d heard good things about this film, although mostly people compared it to films like ‘Snatch’ and ‘Pulp Fiction’. The film definitely retains the same style as ‘Snatch’ but somehow weaves it’s own charm. For those who haven’t seen it I’ll lay it out for you:

Kyong-Son is an ex-female gangster, all washed up and left driving a taxi after being left high and dry by her ex-husband, she’s also saddled with the debt he owes to some gangsters. Soo-Jin wants to be a singer in Japan but she’s stuck with an abusive boyfriend who regularly beats her when he either gets drunk or just generally feels like it. Soo-Jin and Kyong-Son meet after crashing in a street. Soo-Jin’s boyfriend runs an illegal dogfight ring but he has plans to make a big score with an a boxing match. Soo-Jin decides to rip him and enlists Kyong-son to help her.

Now there’s more but the story jumps around a lot and there are many characters but each character plays a role, there are no throwaway characters in this film. This film exudes style like there’s no tomorrow, it makes no apologies for it’s roots in pulp noir. The one thing that did jump out at me was the level of violence in this film, there’s no cartoon violence here, it’s real and it’s brutal. There’s a fight at the end involving both women a guy and it’s almost painful to watch because really get hit HARD, they don’t simply get slapped, they get majorly f***** up. I have to give it up for both of the lead actresses in this film, they’re both superb, Lee Hye Young for her world weariness and toughness. Jeon do Heong as Soo-Jin takes what seems like a shallow role and turns it into something of substance.

I won’t say this film is perfect, some of the fight scenes are choppy and it’s very difficult to tell what’s going on. It does move at a slow pace and it’s relentlessly brutal. Sometimes it does look like the director was showing off with slow motion shots and computer effects to enhance some of the fight scenes. All this is fairly minor and it’s still a fun little film despite how brutal it can be.

I also have to say this film has one of the best badasses I’ve seen in awhile. He doesn’t have a word of dialogue but he’s the best Jet Li style badass I’ve seen in ages, he even wears a tunic like Jet did in FOL. He’s played by Jung Du Hong who also did stuntwork/fight choreography for Musa and he’s THE premiere korean fight choreographer. After seeing his work here, I’m impressed, he seems to favor impact and realism rather than making it look pretty. He kicks major ass in this film.

That said, it’s a great little crime film, there are plenty of twists that aren’t telegraphed and the two women are great, what more could you want.

Dragon Ma’s Rating: 9/10

By Equinox21

A less appropriate name for a movie I have never heard. Not that this is the bloodiest movie made, far from it, just that every character bleeds somehow at some point in this movie. Perhaps they should have just called it No Tears, but that just wouldn’t have sounded as cool. And “cool” is a word that really does describe NBNT. I award an A- for style to this one, losing a bit for the fight between Dok-Bul (Jae-yeong Jeong [the guy who plays the ultra-cool sniper in Guns & Talks to damn near perfection]) and the Silent Man (Doo-hong Jung). The fight wasn’t bad, except that a good part of it was shot far too close up and edited too choppy, too Hollywood, so that you couldn’t see all that was going on. This was minor, as most of the rest of the fights (and there were plenty of them) were superbly choreographed and looked amazing. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a martial arts film (though there were elements of martial arts in some of the fights as Doo-hong Jung is a martial artist who did the martial arts direction for Musa); the fighting more resembled Fight Club than anything. The style element also comes from a very strong “Ritchie-esque” story. Think Snatch, without the comedy but with all the style.

The story is really about two women, Su-ji (Do-yeon Jeon) and Kyeong-seon (Hye-yeong Lee), who meet by accident (literally, a car accident), who end up working together to steal money from Su-Ji’s abusive boyfriend. There’s more than enough lying, cheating, backstabbing and good, old fashioned violence to keep everyone interested. Like any good movie, there are no real “bad guys” or “good guys”, only shades of gray. Everyone in the movie has a sordid past and their own motives for their actions. Plus there’s a nice catfight, which is never a bad thing.

No Blood No Tears, despite the highly misleading title, is a very cool movie. I’d recommend it to anyone who liked Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance or Snatch.

Equinox21’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , , , |

Boiling Point (1990) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Boiling Point" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Boiling Point” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Takeshi Kitano
Cast: Masahiko Ono, Yuriko Ishida, Takahito Iguchi, Minoru Iizuka, Makoto Ashikawa, Hisashi Igawa, Bengal, Johnny Ohkura, Katsuo Tokashiki, Takeshi Kitano
Running Time: 98 min.

By The Reviewer With No Name

Boiling Point seems to be one of the lesser liked/known of films in Kitano’s filmography (It’s actually the last Kitano film I’ve seen so far besides Dolls and Zatoichi), that I can’t really understand. Most people just see Brother, Sonatine or Hana Bi first and then move onto his other works like Kikujiro, A Scene at the Sea and Violent Cop then eventually sit through Getting Any?. Most regard Violent Cop as the basis of how Takeshi came to have such a subtle laid back style in his movies. Well, I think they’re half wrong and half right. Boiling Point is more experimental then Violent Cop in terms of characters, direction, acting, plot, humor and even violence whereas Violent Cop was more like the experimental showcase for Takeshi’s style of violence and dark humor. But Violent Cop was partly done with the cast and most of the script, I like to think of it this way. When you’re asked to finish half of a puzzle that’s already completed is like how Takeshi came to make Violent Cop. But when Takeshi tried to make the puzzle himself with this film. Hense why Violent Cop felt more full-on with the characters and story.

There’s a lot of negatives in this film but I’ll touch opon those a bit later on. But now, I’ll rant about the good things and I’ll stop the Violent Cop to Boiling Point comparisons.

I’ll go on about the story and plot before I get to that. Masaki’s a slacker-type individual whose character really goes nowhere in the film. He’s kinda depressing to look at in some scenes where he basically never reacts to anything that goes on around him. The story itself is something you can tell someone about a friend of a friend of a friend of yours who got into some kinda trouble with a gang, then sorted it out with unnecessary ideas or plans, that’s basically it. IN between the weak but on-going story is a bunch of events and situations that take place in the film, some of which not involving ANY of the main characters at all. They’re funny situations but have no real place in the film itself. The second half of the film is completely different then the first half really. Only two main characters really go on to Okinawa in search of a gun. And that’s Dankan and Masaki really. The subplot is Uehara’s method of revenge against the yakuza who want HIM dead. He plot veers away from the actual story again with Uehara’s story.

A great positive about the film is that it’s totally unpredictable. I mean the plot veers away from the actual story for the first 45 minutes. The main incident occurs about 15 minutes in and a few others regarding the plot and story but that’s basically it. Just the main character Masaki sitting back and watching many different incidents occur within his eyes. The film is downright hilarious, it may be the second funniest film Kitano’s ever made that’s above Kikujiro and below Sonatine. The characters are your typical stereotypes/jerks but they have some kinda charm that makes you laugh. Especially the ex-yakuza baseball coach Iguchi, whom of which takes shit from NO ONE, not even the yakuza gang Masaki goes up against. He’s the second most badass character in this film then Kitano himself. He looks like an easy going fellow at first, but then you dig into his character and you see him for what he really is. A jerk. Like the one scene where he beats a yakuza named Muto (another great character) and has a minute and a half long deal with how Muto disrespected him back at the yakuza HQ when Muto said he’d call him Iguchi instead of Mr. Iguchi. So when Iguchi beats him down outside, he says “stop it Mr. Iguchi” then the rest goes on with them both saying “Iguchi” Mr. Iguchi” to each other, until Muto says Iguchi. Then Iguchi proceeds to knock him out with a crate on the ground. The comedy in Boiling Point works very, very well where most of it is used (this isn’t a film to take seriously). Like the second baseball game where two of the funniest scenes in the movie take place, Iguchi telling off the empire, then chasing a player from the different team down the field. It’s all subtle and somewhat lightweight but it works really well.

The humor in the second half of the film where Kitano’s character Uehara comes into the film is WAY more dark and absurd. Like Kitano gleefully raping his friend to bulling and intimidating both characters and non-characters. His attitude is totally disrespectful and brutish. He’s the only character who seems to be different then the rest, because like I said before, all of the characters are just your average folks. Uehara on the other hand is a moody, mean person who is unexpected badass. But Uehara has nice companions along with him for his part, his girlfriend who he treats like shit and his guy-friend who he rapes happily. Kitano’s character is a big thumbs up for the movement of the plot and how he fits into this scheme which really he has nothing to do with. Awesome

There is more hilarious moments of humor throughout the film like jump cutting implied fights and motorcycle accidents to Iguchi’s exploits. Masaki himself does a few funny (and dim-witted things) during the film, but his character is more like an audience member watching all of these events and situations unfold in front of him. Dankan also makes a worthy debut in a Kitano film as Masaki’s buddy who tags along for the ride and gets into more then one funny accident himself. One of which is him knocking out some spoiled kid who trys to come onto him (it seemed like that) and another where (it’s tasteless really) he can’t wipe his ass after taking a shit in the bushes, so he runs into the ocean to clean out his colon.

Now for the negatives of the film. The pace of the film in almost excruciatingly slow, the baseball game is like 8 minutes and there’s no real highlights there except the introduction to Iguchi, Masaki, Dankan and Akira (Akira pops up a few times as the happy-go-lucky friend of Masaki). It’s a slow and kinda tedious way to start the film, but almost everything after that works out fine besides an overlong scene at an airport.

Another thing that bugged me was the ending. The ending has to be one of the biggest letdowns I’ve ever seen. It’s one of the only times that Takeshi attempted something extremely cliché, and Takeshi failed tring that. But it’s more or less another experimental thing that Takeshi tries out. But there’s many things you must know before watching this film.

– The film’s very, very slow. If you don’t like that, then stay away.
– I recommend not seeing this one first outta the fact that it’s nothing like Sonatine or Hana Bi.
– There’s no musical score or anything like that. No Hisaishi tunes, just Dankan’s AWFUL singing.
– Takeshi is in the film for only 20 minutes.
– There’s very minimal violence, but when it shows up, it’s quite brutal.
– The main character has approximately 7 or 8 lines in the film, people speak for him.
– Don’t expect depth or any real symbolism.
– ALL of the humor is subtle, no Getting Any? Style shit.
– The ending fucking blows.
– The direction is pretty sloppy and incoherent, most of the humor and events have less to do with the actual story.

Regarding the violence, the film has a very brutal feel to it, like the feel in Pulp Fiction whereas that film wasn’t violent but people dismissed it as extremely violent. Boiling point is the same, everything seems more violent in nature or real life then if you interpret the violence in Boiling Point as a movie “universe” itself like with Brother and Violent Cop.

I can’t quite understand the message that the film portrays. Because what I really saw was a theme of standing up to the enemy or asshole who wrongs you. Like Iguchi with people in general, Masaki with the yakuza and Uehara with the other yakuza’s, And another theme of anti social or just sociopathic people in general. Masaki doesn’t communicate with anyone throughout the film and he seems rather embarrassed with his actions when he trys to look good or try at something. Uehara on the other hand is the exact opposite of Masaki, he’s a loudmouth with select friends and many, many enemies who takes shit from no one but gives shit to everyone (it’s gratuitous almost). Think of that while watching the film then look at the ending and notice the little difference in Masaki.

The feel and tone is like every one of Takeshi’s yakuza/crime films. It’s gritty and bleak but has a very down-to-earth laid back feel. The ending is very abrupt and pretty bleak. But out of ALL of Kitano’s films, this is the one that feels the most realistic/down-to-earth.

So anyways, I find this to be one of my favorite Kitano films, it’s just weird, funny and at times absurd, with great characters, and humor. I’d recommend it if you’ve seen most of Kitano’s other films and you know his style for subtle humor and aesthetic violence/scenery. Bah fuck it, just buy it if you want too, but keep this review (or rant) in mind while watching it.

The Reviewer With No Name’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged |

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Brotherhood of the Wolf" Theatrical Poster

“Brotherhood of the Wolf” Theatrical Poster

AKA: Le Pacte des Loups
Director: Christophe Gans
Cast: Samuel Le Bihan, Vincent Cassel, Emilie Dequenne, Monica Bellucci, Jérémie Rénier, Mark Dacascos, Jean Yanne, Jean-François Stévenin
Running Time: 143 min.

By Numskull

Gregoire du Fronsac, royal naturalist, is sent to the rural county of Gevaudan to investigate a series of murders blamed on a rampaging, wolf-like beast. His assistants are Mani, his Iroquois blood brother, and Thomas d’Apcher, the grandson of the nobleman under whose roof he sleeps during his stay…that is, for the nights when he’s not bedding Sylvia, the prize attraction at the local brothel. During daylight hours, the aristocratic Marianne de Morangias is the target of his affections, and her arrogant, overbearing brother Jean-Francois is his adversary…at least, the one that walks on two legs.

I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I adore this film unconditionally. The first time I saw it, my reaction was one of perfect, pants-wetting joy, and had I not been confined to bed with an absolute motherfucker of a flu bout (sickest I’ve been in my life) so shortly thereafter, I probably would have been wandering the streets telling complete strangers to go see it. With its outstanding music, deafening sound effects, gorgeous sets and locations, and unapologetic mixture of genres, it was…and is…a true feast for the eyes and ears. I had never thought that tri-corner hats and eight layers of clothing could look so fucking cool.

Now? Well, the gushiness has faded, but the love hasn’t. There are flaws…a weak cut here, a bit of substandard CGI there…but this is minor, minor stuff. Brotherhood of the Wolf is almost certain to remain one of my very favorite films until the day I die. That doesn’t mean I want to watch it all the time…far from it…but it’ll always be present on my mental Top Whatever list, in the distinguished company of Seven, Fight Club, Braindead, Mr. Vampire, Musa, Falling Down, Ravenous, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

There are certain films where one’s adoration is such that you think anyone who doesn’t like them must be clinically insane. In this case…hey, I’m realistic. Incest, ecclesiastic conspiracies, and monster-hunting in 18th century France aren’t for everybody. I can only imagine how disappointed some people must have been when they got this after being led to expect a “kung fu werewolf movie” thanks to all of the idiot critics out there who came up with asinine comments like:

“An 18th Century version of The Matrix…” -Lou Lumenick, New York Post

“This is a kung-fu movie…” -Jeffrey M. Anderson, The San Francisco Examiner

“An unexpected touch of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” -Jami Bernard, The New York Daily News (she’s the one who compared The Passion of the Christ to WWII-era Nazi propaganda films, by the way)

“…slo-mo martial-arts scenes out of The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon…” -Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Were these people on crack? Had they never seen swords or subtitles before Crouching Tiger? Did they think that slow motion, long coats, and people hitting each other didn’t exist before The Matrix? Or were they just too fucking lazy to write reviews that were actually accurate?

These are the things that keep me awake at night.

One common complaint about BOTW…and I know that some people reading this have it, I can smell it on you…is that it’s “scatterbrained”; that it “doesn’t know what it wants to be” or some such nonsense. To those people, I say: That’s not what you mean. What you REALLY mean is: “I am confused and frightened by this movie’s refusal to fit neatly into one established category that has been around for as long as cinema itself, and rather than accept it for what it is, I shall scold it for not being something else like the mewling halfwit I am.” There, now. Isn’t it a relief for the truth to come out?

Another common complaint about BOTW is that it’s too long, and I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that the people who say so would be the first ones to whine that the film made no sense if it were shortened to accommodate their feeble attention spans. The film isn’t two and a half hours because Christophe Gans, Sebastien Prangere and David Wu don’t know what the fuck they’re doing; the film is two and a half hours because there are more than two important characters and because the story requires attention to detail. Of course, some of these poor souls were probably under the impression that this was a “kung fu werewolf movie” before they saw it, and while complaining about the film’s length they were probably STILL “thinking” (?) that it was supposed to be a “kung fu werewolf movie”. One would think that the large chunks of plot development between fight scenes, as well as the complete absence of lycanthropes in the film, would have made them aware that this, in fact, is NOT a “kung fu werewolf movie” in intention or execution and that they had been led astray by indolent critics. Alas…

The theatrical cut, released in the U.S. by Universal, is serviceable, but the extended version (available from TVA Films in Canada for us Region 1 types) is far better. Aside from several extra scenes integrated into the film, there are two discs full of supplementary material, much more interesting than the usual promotional stuff where everybody just sings one another’s praises. Actor Samuel le Bihan (Fronsac) and fight (NOT “kung fu”) choreographer Philip Kwok (of “Venoms” fame), for example, are generally pleased with the fruits of their labor but are also rather critical of each other’s methods. A notable disappointment is the lack of input from composer Joseph LoDuca, whose musical score for the film…one of my favorites, second only to Howard Shore’s Lord of the Rings work…is never less than superb.

I trust I’ve made my views clear. BOTW is, to me, at the top of the cool movie mountain. An absolute treasure, now and forever.

Numskull’s Rating: 10/10

By Reefer

Filled with guns, crossbows, martial arts, monsters, boobs, male bonding, and action, Brotherhood of the Wolf is a sixteen-year-old boy’s fantasies come to life. I mean, where else can you find such a collection of guilty pleasures? French director Christopher Gans seems to have gone out of his way to bring out the playful kid in his audience and succeeds on all counts.

BOTW begins as a traditional monster movie. Women and children fear attack from some crazed beast terrorizing the French countryside. The king sends two men to help investigate, Fronsac and Mani. Fronsac is a boyish intellectual and Mani is the strong silent warrior.

The heroic twosome arrive during a rain shower just in time to teach some scoundrels not to beat up on a woman and an old man. Mani beats them soundly with a staff, showing lots of slo-mo close-ups of splashing mud puddles and pouring rain. The photography throughout the film is a highlight. Later on, they and cohort discuss catching the beast while firing guns, throwing knives, and shooting crossbows at a bunch of pumpkins on some posts. Cut to: slow motion pumpkin explosions. I just sat there grinning from ear to ear. Totally guy stuff. When not beating ass or eviscerating pumpkins, our boys frequent the local brothel where lots of boobage is on display. No wonder this film is almost two and half hours long!!!

Based on actual events, BOTW also suggests enough conspiracy theories to make Oliver stone proud. Fortunately, the movie dumps most of the politics in favor of some very satisfying action sequences, choreographed to perfection by Philip Kwok (Mad Dog from Hard-boiled). One criticism, near the end when Fronsac is forced to fight, he does so like a skilled warrior, but his skills were never even alluded to previously. Mark Dacascos’s Mani did all the ass kicking. To me, this seemed like a cheat. Like they just decided to make Fronsac go Bruce Lee at the end of the film. Then I checked the Deleted Scenes on my DVD. Seems that in the original cut, Frontac actually takes part in the very first fight of the film, but that footage was cut out. I consider it a shame that it wasn’t included. Ignore the critics who couldn’t get past such mixing of genres. Forget that Mani, an Iroquois Indian, knows Asian kung fu. This is a highly entertaining romp of a film. Better enjoyed if you can find that kid inside of you.

Reefer’s Rating: 8/10

By Joe909

It’s hard to give an accurate description of this movie. It’s not exactly kung-fu, nor is it horror. It isn’t a love story, although there’s a heavy romantic subplot. I’d say it’s an old-fashioned romance in the original definition of the word: “a fictitious tale of heroes and adventure,” as quoted from Webster’s. It’s an adventure with two very cool heroes, a crazed villain, claw-wielding, kung-fu fighting peasants, wacky, demonic swords that break apart and re-form, two visits to a bordello (each with nudity included), a great monster (one of the few instances in which cgi effects look very realistic; in other words, better than “Phantom Menace” and all that crap), and a great climax.

Brotherhood of the Wolf looks like a modern-day Shaw Brothers movie, only filmed in French. The peasant warriors especially resemble Shaw extras, what with their long hair and home-made weapons. Maybe choreographer Philip Kwok had something to do with this. And speaking of choreography, the fights throughout are excellent, though there is the occasional, irritating use of slow motion and other filmic trickery. Not exactly Matrix-like, but close enough. Luckily, everyone sticks to the ground and there’s no flying around or any of that nonsense.

Mark Dascosos is one bad muther in this movie, believe you me. Gans apparently directed him with the early Arnold Schwarzenegger method: give the actor only a modicum of lines; let his grimace and toughguy bearing do all the talking. Plus they somehow achieved the impossible: Dascosos for once doesn’t look like an alternate member of N’Sync, there’s no prettyboy at all left in him. He’s just pure, face-painting, loincloth wearing, shroom-eating savage in this movie. He has probably one of the best kung-fu fights ever towards the end of the movie, as he takes on an epic amount of warriors in the monster’s crypt. There’s also a cool showdown with the monster, in which Dascosos’ character Mani paints himself up, just like Arnold did in “Predator.”

The main lead, Samuel Le Bihan, is just as much of a badass as Mani, though we as viewers don’t get a taste of this until later in the movie, although it’s pointed out in the very beginning that the guy is a war hero. His character gets probably the best scenes in the movie, what with his climactic battle in the villain’s lair, with henchmen and the villain himself.

This and “Versus” are the two best movies I’ve seen this year. If I had to choose between the two, I’d pick Brotherhood. Mostly because there’s more story (maybe too much of one, as the political subterfuge that runs throughout might throw off someone unfamiliar with French history; I had to explain the ending to my girlfriend, who really couldn’t have cared less, anyway), and because this is just more of a movie. “Versus” was great, but it’s mostly just guys running through a forest and killing each other. Brotherhood of the Wolf offers something for everyone, and if you’re looking for something fresh, exciting, and original, I would direct you to this great film.

Joe909’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Big Hit, The (1998) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Big Hit" Japanese DVD Cover

“The Big Hit” Japanese DVD Cover

Director: Kirk Wong
Writer: Ben Ramsey
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christina Applegate, Avery Brooks, Bokeem Woodbine, China Chow, Antonio Sabato Jr., Lainie Kazan, Elliott Gould, Sab Shimono, Robin Dunne, Lela Rochon
Running Time: 91 min.

By Numskull

If I really hated this movie, I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to call it “The Big Shit”. Fortunately I don’t hate it, so you need never fear hearing that too-easy-to-be-funny reference from me again.

In terms of crafting an enjoyable American debut film, Che-Kirk Wong succeeds where John Woo, Ringo Lam, Tsui Hark and Ronnie Yu all failed. The Big Hit is by no means perfect but it’s got a lot going for it. With a $10 million budget, it can’t be considered one of those “icky, little” movies that almost nobody sees (twits), but at the same time, that figure (low by Hollywood standards) eased the pressure to deliver a hyper-mega-super-blockbuster and made it easy for the film to turn a profit. Plus, John Woo and Terence Chang helped out behind the scenes, Mark Wahlberg makes a pretty likable killer-for-hire, and, most importantly, the script has a fantastic sense of humor. Consequently, there is no point in the entire movie where it even comes within 500 miles of taking itself too seriously.

A good thing, that; the basic plotline is somewhat less than epic. Kinda like a sitcom with guns. The kidnapping and betrayal, mercifully, take center stage most of the time, rather than the budding romance between kidnapper and kidnappee and the fact that kidnapper is banging two women at once (engaged to one, borrowing money from another).

The supporting cast is a mixed bag. First and foremost: Lou Diamond Phillips. This guy is quite good at being annoying. Whether that’s a pro or a con is up to the individual viewer. The big boss man (Avery Brooks) is also a highlight. Christina Applegate? Sorry, I just can’t shake the spectre of “Married…With Children” when I see her. Her parents are reasonably funny, though. The trace-busting guy who can never think of the right word to say tries too hard. He ain’t no good. And then there’s China Chow, making her…uh…”acting” debut. Seriously, I won’t say her performance totally sucks, but it’s painfully obvious that she was selected for the role just because of her looks. One day, by God, the aesthetically challenged will take Hollywood by force, and the streets will run red with the blood of models both super and regular…

One guy here really deserves a special mention: Danny Smith, who plays the snotty, zit-faced clerk at Big Top Video. The part is small but I’m convinced he was born to play it. His delivery is hilarious. With the right material, this guy could have a successful “niche” career, kinda like a geeky Jim Carrey (only much, MUCH funnier).

Danny reminds me of a guy named Dave that I used to know in high school.

I wonder what ol’ Dave is up to these days?

Guess I’ll never know.

Anyway…

There are a few well-done action scenes and some penis jokes. The DVD has deleted scenes, including one in which has Melvin’s girlfriend says “I suck your dick like I’m drowning and your balls are full of oxygen.” They shoulda left that in there. Excerpts from “Taste the Golden Spray” (fuck me, that’s funny) would have been nice, too.

I guess I’m done. This isn’t the kind of movie you can have really deep thoughts about. Just give it a rental, and quit bitching about American action movies in general. Sometimes you have to watch something just for fun, regardless of how dirty you feel for it afterwards.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Joe909

The Big Hit is one of those movies that makes me wish I could magically transport myself into the world of the film. Why? So I could beat the living shit out of Lou “Diamond” Philips. Damn, I hate this guy. And damn, I hate this movie. But back to the Diamond-bashing. The Big Hit isn’t that good to begin with, but Philips makes it even worse with his horrible, macho posturing, overuse of “hip” slang, and by generally just being a prick. I didn’t like most of the other characters, either. They all try to talk and act “hip,” but instead come off like a suburban high school drama club performing their rendition of “New Jack City.”

There’s only one good scene in this entire movie, and that’s the opening hit on the crook who peddles in slavery. It’s a pretty neat action setpiece, as Marky Mark takes on everyone with a pair of nitesite goggles and a bag of weapons. He even spins around on the floor and shoots people. But that’s it. That’s the only good scene. The opening credits sequence alone, which is no doubt the joy of gay men and pre-teen girls everywhere, in which we watch a nearly-nude Marky Mark work out on his gym bag, gives you an idea of what you’re in for: a bunch of MTV-style shit. All posturing, no substance. Even the music is absolutely horrendous. The Big Hit captures every essence of what makes bad Hong Kong movies bad: bland, stereotypical characters, “comedic” bits that aren’t funny, and a boring, frustrating subplot that adds nothing to the movie, and only serves to detract from it. By this I refer to Marky Mark’s fiancé and her annoying parents, whose bumbling fussiness only served to make me reach for the fast forward button.

I guess you could just take this movie as a fluff piece, but even then, it doesn’t cut it. Nothing makes any sense in the movie. For example, China Chow and Marky Mark bond as they prepare a kosher meal for those annoying, would-be in-laws. MM goes to kiss CC, but then she bashes him in the head. Marky ties her back up and deposits her back in the trunk of a car. However, mere minutes later, they’re together in a car, talking about how they want to be together forever. WTF? And what about when Marky’s car is run off the road and lands on a tree, threatening to plummet to the ground, far, far below? MM and China get out of the car: and the very next scene they’re in the middle of a forest! And just a second before getting knocked off the cliff, they seemed to be in a residential area! I can buy people flying through the air, like in Swordsman 2, but shit like this irks the hell out of me.

I know some people like this movie, but I’m not one of them. I can’t think of one good thing to say about it, other than Lou “Diamond” Philips’s character gets stabbed in the chest and dies.

Oh, and no offense to those who like the gifted Mr. Wahlberg. I myself think he’s a fine actor (when the material’s good); I just like to call him “Marky Mark,” so no one will ever forget who this man once was. The world might have moved on, but I still (unfortunately) remember his and the “Funky Bunch’s” butchering of “Good Vibrations.”

Joe909’s Rating: 3/10 (for the opening fight sequence alone)

By James H.

Once upon a time, a studio executive said, “Let’s make a funny action movie.” Millions of dollars were invested and a funny action movie was made, giving birth to what we all know and love; the action/comedy. Throughout the centuries many action comedies have been made. There have been some good ones and some bad ones. Fortunately, The Big Hit is one of the good ones.

Mark Wahlberg stars as a hit man with the unlikely name Melvin Smiley. He just wants to be liked. He also has co-dependency issues with his fiancé (Christina Applegate) and his girlfriend on the side (Lela Rochon). Wahlberg plays the character cool, and tongue firmly in cheek.

No matter how talented and likeable Wahlberg is with Melvin, the show is stolen by Lou Diamond Phillips in a brilliantly over-the-top role. He plays Cisco, one of Melvin’s partners, another contract killer. He has a plan to make some extra money on the side by kidnapping the daughter of a wealthy Japanese industrialist. Unfortunately, the wealthy industrialist has gone bankrupt after his film “Taste the Golden Spray” tanked. Here’s the hitch though, the daughter is also the goddaughter of Paris (Avery Brooks), Melvin and Cisco’s boss.

For the most part, the action takes a back seat, save the opening and the finale. The real focus is the comedy. The laughs in the film are genuine, and never forced. The film takes on several forms of humor too. There are several big laughs throughout, like the scene where Lou Diamond Phillips’ character tries to call the Japanese industrialist to inform him his daughter has been kidnapped. There are subtle small laughs too, like how the henchmen ride around in Dodge Caravans, or that it seems like King Kong Lives is everyone’s favorite movie. I loved, too, the little comment about suburbia’s look-a-like houses from Melvin’s neighbor (“Wrong house again, asshole!”).

The film was directed by Kirk Wong who also did the below average Organized Crime and Triad Bureau and the stellar Crime Story. Here he makes his North American debut, that shattered all of my expectations, giving the film a highly stylistic and electric feel to it. The action is very well done, edited expertly, and is very exciting.

The Big Hit is one of those fun, if somewhat predictable action comedies that will grab you and entertain you for 91 minutes and leave you with a smile on your face. It’s got style, action, great performances all around, and plenty of charm.

James H’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , |

American Ninja (1985) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"American Ninja" Theatrical Poster

“American Ninja” Theatrical Poster

Director: Sam Firstenberg
Cast: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Judie Aronson, Tadashi Yamashita, Guich Koock, John Fujioka, Don Stewart, John LaMotta, Tony Carreon
Running Time: 95 min.

By Owlman

Directed by Sam Firstenberg (Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination), this 1985 film starred Michael Dudikoff as Joe Armstrong, an American soldier who has been trained well in the martial arts and uses those skills to fight a band of ninja mercenaries under the employ of Ortega (Don Stewart with a horrible French accent), an illegal arms trader.

Through a series of flashbacks, we see that Joe was orphaned at a young age, found by Shinyuki (John Fujioka), and raised by the old ninjitsu master. During those younger years, Joe was trained in the ways of the ninja. This intensive training of the body and mind apparently consisted of tree climbing and slicing coconuts. Once in a while, the sensei would pull out the weapons but I don’t think young Joe saw much kitana or shuriken time. No, it’s more tree climbing and coconut slicing for this young boy. Not exactly the stuff of ninja legends.

Anyway, after an explosion or something, young Joe ended up with a bit of amnesia which separated him from his sensei/surrogate father. After bouncing around some foster homes, he turns up in the Army.

Due to his brooding personality, Joe doesn’t quite get along with his fellow soldiers and gets harassed regularly, especially by Curtis “Bad Ass” Jackson (Steve James). A martial arts trainer for the Army, Curtis ends up in a scrap with Joe who easily bests him by tossing him around like a little hamster. After the fight, Joe earns the undying respect from Curtis and his fellow soldiers.

Joe also finds the time to romance the Colonel’s daughter, Patricia (Judie Aronson). Eventually, we discover that her father is part of a conspiracy to sell smuggled weapons from the Army through Ortega.

We also find out that Ortega has a massive ninja training camp, led by Black Star Ninja (Tadashi Yamashita), a real bad ass ninja. I don’t know what kind of training camp this is supposed to be but it can’t possibly be ninjas. This camp has ninjas dressed in some of the most ridiculous colours – bright blue ninjas and yellow ninjas are bouncing all over the place. Now, I usually think of ninjas as being all about stealth…y’know, smooth and silent killers that you don’t see and all that jazz. If a bright blue ninja is coming my way, I’m going to see him from a mile away, even without my glasses on. Maybe he’ll be all stealth when he’s in Smurfland but not in my neighbourhood.

Anyway, to make a long story short, Joe finds out that his sensei is the mute gardener of Ortega who trains him for the final battle. And what a battle it turns out to be! Joe shows up at Ortega’s complex, bitch slaps a bunch of people, and just when you think he’s backed himself into a corner, up comes Curtis Jackson with the rest of the Army crew to blast ninjas with some good ol’ guns.

The final fight with Black Star Ninja ends up being a farce as that bad ass ninja pulls out a bag of tricks worthy of Inspector Gadget – lasers and bullets from his wrist! That’s one hell of a Seiko watch that Black Star’s got on. Turns out to be useless though and the swords come out.

What’s Good About This Movie?

Not a whole lot. The fights, although very cool when I was 11 years old, look very dated now. In fact, they seem very poorly choreographed, especially when you see Steve James pull out his kung fu moves. The guy looks like he’s going to fall on his ass every time. The funky chicken dance would be more appropriate.

What’s Not Good About This Movie?

C’mon, read the summary – the movie is a laughable attempt at making a martial arts movie. The 80’s saw a bunch of really stupid ninja movies being made to cash in on the demand from snot nosed kids like me. This movie is one of them.

Conclusion

Like I said earlier, the movie was really cool when I was 11 years old. After watching it again recently on cable, I went through one of those “What the Hell Was I Thinking?” kind of phases.

Owlman’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Ninja, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Bullet in the Head (1990) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Bullet in the Head" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Bullet in the Head” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: John Woo
Cast: Tony Leung Chiu-wai, Jacky Cheung, Waise Lee, Yolinda Yan, Simon Yam, Fennie Yuen, Lam Chung, Yee Tin Hung, Chang Gan Wing, Ernest Mauser
Running Time: 118/136 min.

By Joseph Kuby

The Second Best Film of All Time! (behind Citizen Kane)

Many words can describe Bullet in the Head: Excellent! Brilliant! Superb! Splendid! Wonderful! Marvelous! Magnificent! Fantastic! Spectacular! It really is that great! This film is a true masterpiece of cinema! It’s certainly a classic!

If anyone had only been acquainted with Woo through films like Hard Target and Broken Arrow, they’d probably say something like…

“To think that the director of those American action flicks could direct something on such a profound scale is really astonishing!”

Speaking of quotations, here is British director John Boorman’s (of Burt Reynold’s Deliverance fame) description of Bullet in the Head:

“Over two hours of remorseless mayhem: balletic deaths, ingenious killings, delightful detonations, rivers of blood, acrobatic fights…an explosion of vast energy.”

John Woo’s tour-de-force is truly ground-breaking on every level – story, acting, action, direction, editing, etc.

According to Stephen Teo, author of Hong Kong Cinema: The Extra Dimensions, the film was made in the fall of 1989 (the same year when John Woo made The Killer with Chow Yun Fat) but released in 1990.

It’s amazing how John mixes genres – subtle martial arts street-fighting, war, gangster genre, humour, romance, drama and contemporary action (complete with shootouts, car chases and explosions).

As far as mixing genres is concerned, Woo is up there with Wong Jing, Johnnie To and Quentin Tarantino. The film is also inspired by countless sources of material but still manages to find its own identity and become a unique film.

The influences of Bullet in the Head are Hamlet, Of Mice & Men, filmmaker David Lean (who made epic films), Who’s That Knocking on my Door?, Rebel Without a Cause, West Side Story, Treasure of Sierra Madre, Taxi Driver, The Man Who Would Be King, Mean Streets, Bring me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, The Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Platoon and Blood Brothers* (a.k.a. Dynasty of Blood – he worked on this film as an assistant director with martial arts movie director Chang Cheh).

The structure of the film is indeed very similar to The Deer Hunter:

Three friends get involved in a wedding and want to go to Vietnam in the hopes of making a difference. The main friends makes a promise to his best friend that he won’t leave him behind. Things don’t go as smoothly as they hoped, the friends see the true horrors of war, they get captured, tortured and get coerced into a “game” involving shooting before they make a daring escape.

Despite surviving, the friendship amongst the three is still kind of strong until they go their separate ways in the battlefield resulting in one of them getting shot in the head.

Another similarity is that the main protagonist goes to see another friend (who has suffered a permanent injury) who tells him where the missing friend is and when he sees the missing friend, it turns out that he’s become a mentally traumatized drug addict. He tries to get through to him but he dies right in front of his eyes before the main protagonist returns to his homeland with the remains of his friend to honour his death.

One peculiar similarity is how both films foreshadow the fate of the traumatized character. There’s a scene in The Deer Hunter where Christopher Walken is lying on the front of this vehicle and everyone’s positioned in a way which foreshadows his funeral. A similar scene can be found in Bullet in the Head. All three men have this bicycle race which results in Ah Fai almost falling into the harbour resulting in Ah Bee trying to save him whilst Ah Wing is too busy celebrating his victory of winning (sort of hinting the selfishness of his soon-to-be betrayal).

John Woo is certainly one of the best directors to ever have worked in the field of film-making. His directorial style transcends words and into the realm of images, it’s this craftsmanship which remains to be subtle!

The film is bleak but uplifting as it shows that with the right humane and morale anything is possible as long as you’re willing to be selfless and interdependent. I don’t wish to spoil the story as it ruins the experience for all of you concerned so thus I will tell a brief summary: Bullet in the Head is a tale about four men – one who struggles with his humanity, one who cheaply sells his humanity, one who loses his humanity and one who regains his humanity. Ingenious.

The most controversial topic of discussion concerning this movie is the car chase ending. A lot of people think that the boardroom ending was the original just because it’s the one they prefer whereas John Woo made the car chase ending first, which makes sense when you consider that the film was already over-budget by the time talk of a second ending came into commission, not to mention the violence was too much to stomach after already being subjected to a lot of carnage.

I think a lot of confusion which emerged from this whole mess was that on Western releases, the car chase was retained to satisfy overseas markets so as to recoup the lost profit (the film didn’t make enough money to cover its costs and was a big flop – savaged by the critics who dismissed it as a Deer Hunter rip-off, among other things).

I think the car chase ending is perfect for the film since it helps get across one of the main themes John is wanting to inform to the audience: the pointlessness of revenge. Woo seems to be making a point that revenge just leads to more trouble and a far more tragic chain of events in terms of cause and effect.

There are four instances of revenge which effects the fates of the characters: when the Hong Kong gang leader is killed, when the Vietnamese gang leader is killed, when Ah Bee decides to kill the Vietnamese captain than make sure that Ah Fai doesn’t get betrayed by Ah Wing and when Ah Bee decides to take revenge against Ah Wing.

Whilst The Killer could be described as Woo’s best film due to it not being as unfortunately trimmed as this film, Bullet has also been described by other critics as the best film of all time.

The film was originally over three hours long (let’s say three and a half {210 minutes} – coincidentally the original length of Mission: Impossible 2, also directed by John Woo) and in some spots it’s obvious to see where footage had been removed and it’s easy to imagine where the bulk of the footage lie when deciphering the film’s plot. Prior to watching the film, I can remember reading a review of the Hong Kong Legends DVD that said this version of the film (126 minutes long) is missing some of the music cues that can be found on the 136 minute version (the version of the film which was long rumoured to be the uncut version and which was shown in film festivals around the world).

The critic also complained that the music cues used instead are weak (it was either a case of some scenes being played with no music at all or certain scenes where weaker/cheaper music cues were used to replace the original ones). The original VCD release of the film contained some of the extra scenes and had a different score on the Mandarin track.

While I can see this weakness of the current soundtrack (the POW camp sequence for instance), it still doesn’t change the fact that this film (especially in its uncut form) is top quality (something which the critic acknowledged himself).

It comes as a bit of a disappointment that Hong Kong Legends couldn’t acquire the rights to Woo’s version (too much legal hassle, probably). Besides the three versions stated above, there have been heavily truncated versions with the following running times in minutes – 80, 96, 100 and 116. Reviews on the net reference a Russian Roulette scene with children, a still on the net shows Tony Leung’s character with dual guns on the battlefield and the original Hong Kong trailer (as displayed on the HKL DVD) shows three deleted scenes…

1) A protestor, during the Vietnam protestation sequence, is being clubbed to death on the head by members of the Vietnamese troops (complete with blood squirts).

2) The infamous scene where Ah Bee (Ben), Ah Fai (Frank) and Ah Wing (Paul) are forced to drink urine after Mr Leong suspects them of wanting to take Sally away from him.

3) There’s a segment in the Bolero action sequence where Ah Fai, armed with dual pistols, is shooting a long array of Vietnamese baddies who are standing in this corridor.

On the HKL DVD audio commentary by Bey Logan, he says there was more footage of Ringo being hit head on the head repeatedly during the scene where Ah Bee and Ah Fai take vengeance on Ringo and his cohorts.

Also, Bey referred to three more deleted scenes…

1) When we first see Ah Lok (Luke) take out that greedy Vietnamese businessman in the men’s room, there were more bullets being fired into the latter’s body.

2) When Ah Lok teaches the three young men how to deal with firearms (this also draws parallels to a similar scene featured in Tsui Hark’s A Better Tomorrow III: Love & Death in Saigon).

3) A Russian roulette scene during the POW camp sequence involving children pulling the triggers on their captors (a few movie reviews have mentioned this, something Bey also confirmed) which is surprisingly similar to Sammo Hung’s Eastern Condors** (whose film also had a scene where someone’s forced to drink urine).

Ironically, Sammo Hung’s Vietnam epic was trimmed as badly as Woo’s Vietnam epic – both films went up to over three hours in length (The Deer Hunter was originally four hours in length).

A friend of mine (the owner of this site) had told me that he suspects the scene where all three friends are on a Hong Kong hilltop at night-time (after the Ringo fiasco) may have been longer. If you look carefully, one of them looks at the other person (presumably Ah Bee looking at Ah Fai) like as if he’s about to say something (this makes sense when given what Bee says in the boardroom when he tells Wing about the promise he made to Fai about not leaving him behind in Vietnam, akin to what Mike said to Nick in Deer Hunter).

This type of near-missed dialogue can be spotted when Bee and Fai rescue Sally from her room, look at Bee’s lips it’s clear he was about to say something.

I read a few reviews of the film (and several descriptions on eBay which look to have come from one of the HK DVDs) that Bee’s mother falls ill, goes to the hospital and Bee refuses to see her in her dying moments because he doesn’t look good (presumably due to his gang fighting – I suppose it was alluded to in the storyline that his mother made him a promise not to get involved in fights). It’s also stated that they not only have to pay for the wedding bills but for the funeral ones as well (which might explain why Fai went to the loan shark as friends and relatives could only pay for the funeral).

Also, I’ve seen stills of Bee holding a pistol in the external (i.e. not in Bolero) areas of Vietnam, I don’t quite recollect seeing this particular image in the film. These stills can be seen on eBay (one that is part of a Spanish lobby card collection and the other which forms the basis of one of the HK DVD covers).

The POW camp sequence seems to be cut as well if you look at the way the scenes quickly go by (though Woo’s careful transitions almost betray the sequence’s trimmings – strangely enough the film won an award for best editing at the Hong Kong film awards, probably given how much the film had been trimmed without being too incoherent). I can remember reading an article by one of the American POW camp extras who claimed that he had a larger part (one with dialogue) than what was seen in the current version (he’s the soldier who tries to escape but gets shot).

There’s a review of Bullet in the Head which contains a web page listing down the differences between various versions of the film (though it only references the 136 minute version shown in film festivals rather than the three hour+ version).

Speaking of which, John seems to love making epic movies and has this habit of making three hour+ long versions of his movies i.e. A Better Tomorrow 2 was originally three hours long (hence the inconsistency and incoherency apparent in the current version) and Mission: Impossible 2 was originally three & a half hours long.

Unless there’s someone here who’s seen the 136 minute version (or 180+ version) and can comment on what’s missing, then we might as well throw in reasonably sensible and logical conjecture on what could be missing.

Besides using conjecture as a way to find out what may have been deleted, if you want to locate longer versions of the film you might have more luck going on Asian DVD sites (not the ones based outside of Asia but within Asia itself like Yes Asia, Sensasian and CD Japan).

Just for some fun trivia…

1) Chow Yun Fat was originally going to be playing Simon Yam’s role as he was really impressed with the script but John Woo had told him that his character was not the essential character of the story (though a pivotal one nonetheless) and that it might not have complimented his leading man status as it was really a supporting role (or more precisely – fourth leading role).

2) Tom Cruise claimed that this is his favourite John Woo film.

Just a bit more trivia (this time concerning the behind the scenes making of the film)…

1) In order to get a much more stronger reaction out of Tony for the POW sequence (or more specifically the part where Ah Fai is forced to execute American prisoners), Woo wanted tears and went to great lengths to get them. First he got dressed up in an American soldier’s costume then he briefed one of his stunt guys to shoot him with an AK47 (loaded with blanks) when the camera started rolling. So that’s what happened – surely the last thing Leung was expecting.

Woo later on explained that even though the gun was shooting blanks, he was getting shot at close range and was in severe pain. His clothes were torn and he got burns on his body. He ended up rolling around in a puddle in front of Leung. He did this for *seven* takes (the first being unusable because, instead of tears, Leung registered total shock and astonishment). Since Leung and Woo are close friends, the idea of Woo being gunned down in front of him was enough to elicit the sought after tears.

2) The film’s production went way over time and money, costing Golden Princess (the film’s financial backer) lots of money. Whilst Jackie Chan’s Miracles was the most expensive film made in Hong Kong at the time, his was still considered a big hit in Hong Kong (although these costly affairs didn’t stop them from making Armour Of God 2: Operation Condor and Hard Boiled).

3) During a Q & A session for the American Cinematheque (April 2002) at the Egyptian theater in Hollywood, Woo hinted that the original ending was the car chase ending and not the boardroom ending. He said that the film was released in Hong Kong without the final car-chase scene. Woo put the car chase back in for the international release (including the Hong Kong DVD, minus the VCD).

4) In the Q & A session, Woo mentioned a couple of scenes in Bullet In The Head that were direct “quotes” from the films of Scorsese and Peckinpah.

I’ve just read a recent article where John talks about his favourite films (from other filmmakers) and he mentioned how for Bullet In The Head, the characters of Frank and Paul were based on his friends i.e. one friend became the leader of a triad gang while the other became a drug addict.

Simon Yam was satisfied working with John Woo on the film, but he was disappointed because he didn’t get any publicity for the film. In the long run, at least his performance has been appreciated, it’s maybe his best.

Regardless of the lack of publicity on his behalf, Yam did have some good things to say about working on Bullet in the Head and working with John Woo:

“Well, it was a pleasure of course. John Woo is a very good director, he doesn’t rush you, too much in Hong Kong people are rushed. Movies are made very quickly, that is the way of Hong Kong life. But John tells you to take your time. He wants the best shot, and he knows if you just do it for the sake of it, it won’t look good. So that is why I like him, he knows what he wants and doesn’t push you to get the shot done quickly. At the time of shooting that movie, I was also making four other movies, so it was nice to go on the set and know I could take it a little bit easy!”

Simply put, this film is not only one of the best films of all time. It’s the best film period. To find out more info on the film, go here and here.

* Coincidentally or not coincidentally, John Woo is producing a film called Blood Brothers. He has claimed the movie is not an adaptation of Bullet in the Head. Still, first time director Chen Yili admitted he was greatly inspired by Woo’s film.

** For those who’ve read my review of The Killer, you’re probably wondering if Sammo and John talked about movie ideas once. Heck, they should make a movie together sometime – it would be a treat.

Joseph Kuby’s Rating: 10/10

By Tequila

John Woo’s “Bullet In The Head” is, quite simply put, the best film I have ever seen. I was fortunate enough to find a subtitled, uncut version of this film and I was not disappointed. The acting is too intense for words, the way the story pans out is sublime and it is also very moving. It is very rare to find an action film that can make people cry openly. This is not for the weak of stomach, as you see arteries pierced and arms blown off, but for quality I am yet to see a better piece of film.

Tequila’s Rating: 10/10 (but if you can’t take much violence this is a rental, as you won’t want to watch it any more.)

By Alexander

Essentially a remake of Cimino’s harrowing “Deer Hunter,” “BITH” is nonetheless a fantastic and tragic film that remains one of Woo’s best. In addition to Woo’s trademark shootouts and intense action, “BITH” offers both a distinctly unique perspective of the Vietnam War and a level of characterization lacking in Woo’s other notable films including “The Killer,” “Hardboiled,” “ABT 1” and “2,” and all of his American releases. The performances are appropriately over-the-top at times which only further emphasizes each character’s anguish and anger. Yet another tale of honor and brotherhood, but a film that remains one of Hong Kong’s best.

Alexander’s Rating: 10/10

By James H.

Bootlegs are shifty things. On one hand they provide a rather inexpensive way to see movies that are hard to find. On the other hand, they are not very reliable. Quality varies, and the films themselves tend to vary (I’ve seen two “Police Story 2” bootlegs: 92 and 110 minutes). To my understanding there are several versions of “Bullet in the Head” available. I have seen the version that is the most widely available (115 minutes in length). That version, unfortunately, is missing two rather key scenes (they are: the scene where the good guys escape from the restaurant, and the scene right before the car chase).

Other than the fact that I had to do research on what happened in those two scenes, this is an excellent film. It is essentially “The Deer Hunter” seen through the eyes of John Woo. The plot concerns three friends who flee from Hong Kong to Vietnam (unfortunately) during the war. There, they see first hand the horrors of war, and their friendship is put to the test.

Definitely one of Woo’s top five films (it’s number three on my list), it perfectly mixes action and drama. It also stays on the side of believable until the preposterous, yet enthralling, car chase at the end.

There’s not much more that can be said. The cast gives a stellar performance, and the story and action is great. A damn near perfect film.

James H’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |

Dragons Forever | aka Cyclone Z (1988) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Dragons Forever" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Dragons Forever” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Sammo Hung
Co-director: Corey Yuen
Cast: Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Pauline Yeung, Deannie Yip, Yuen Wah, Benny Urquidez, Philip Ko, Billy Chow, Crystal Kwok, Peter Chan, Roy Chiao, Chin Kar Lok, David Lam, Lo Lieh, Shum Wai, Siu Tak Foo, Tai Bo, James Tien, Dick Wei, Stanley Fung
Running Time: 94 min.

By Numskull

Superb action comedy from the greatest trio of performers ever to grace the big screen severely tarnished by unbelievably lame, ham-fisted attempts to expose the sensitive, romantic sides of Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung. Sammo’s megaphone scene and Jackie’s courtroom scene near the end set new standards in sappiness. Fortunately, Yuen Biao…perpetual underdog that he is…escapes this cornball predicament by being the only one of the three brothers not to get set up with some whiny, good-for-nothing chick. He’s got an apartment full of birds and fish. The birds, flying this way and that without a care in the world, are the disciples of capitalism and the fish, constantly moving forward through special tubes and never looking back symbolize communism. They’re all the companions necessary to keep Yuen company. Any other beast…like, say, a cat, lounging around and doing nothing but looking good and acting snotty…would be a waste. I guess what I’m trying to say here is…Yuen doesn’t need any worthless pussy hanging around!

Behind-the-scenes tension between Jackie and Sammo helped make this one a box office flop (at least by “three brothers” standards), but since when is the amount of money a movie makes an accurate gauge of its quality? Since…well, never. Whether or not this is the “best” Jackie/Sammo/Yuen collaboration is subject to debate (Project A is my pick), but I think this one best illustrates the onscreen chemistry amongst the men. They have plenty of scenes together, mostly for comic relief and storytelling purposes, but the three-way-fight, short though it may be, is the most noteworthy. They’re just squabbling here, but it really makes you wonder what they could come up with in a hardcore fight to the finish. *Sigh*…

For my money, Jackie’s showdown with Benny “The Jet” Urquidez (eyelashless) in Dragons Forever beats the one from Wheels On Meals. As far as one-on-one fights go, it’s one of Mr. Chan’s finest moments. Sammo Hung’s fighting bears his usual excellence, and leave us not forget Yuen Biao, whose performance here, in my eyes, outshines those of his two brothers despite his slightly lower amount of screen time.

A lot of you folks out there probably have a good idea of what to expect from a film with the cast this one has, action-wise, so let me just say that if there had been a little more focus on the brothers raising hell together and a LOT LESS focus on the retch-inducing romance, this could be an all-time top five film for all three of its stars…and, as it is, it’s still plenty of fun, so give it a try. And if you don’t like it, you will, at the very least, be able to place your finger squarely on the reason why.

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10

By Andrew

This one is THE three brothers film. In fact one of the alternate titles of this film is ‘The Three Brothers’. (makes a lot more sense that the other alternate title ‘Cyclone Z’) The three brothers each play screwball characters in this one- Samo is an arms dealer with a kind heart, Yuen Biao is certifiable lunatic, and Jackie is an unscrupulous lawyer who can’t get from his office to the courtroom without hitting on some unsuspecting woman.

At first Jackie takes a case representing some super-evil corporation, and then he employs the other two to help him spy on the opposition. Things get complicated when Samo and Yuen start fighting, but it really gets ridiculous when Jackie falls in love with the prosecution’s client and turns against his own client. Fortunately the corporation folks pick a fight, so the three brothers give them a fight. All I want to know is- where’s the outtakes man?

Andrew’s Rating: 8/10

By Ro

Wow! Jackie as a slick lawyer who works for mobsters and hits women (OK, it was only one woman… and she hit him first… after he saved her from a bunch of bad guys – but he still HIT her!), Samo as an arms dealer of realistic fakes, and Yuen as a crazy who’s so neurotic that the ‘Lone Gunmen’ from The X-Files wouldn’t take him! How do they think this stuff up? Oh, yeah, right, they don’t worry about plot! Of all the ‘3 Brothers’ movies I saw, this one makes the best use of Samo and especially Yuen and it definitely increases the excitement of the film. The only thing better than these guys beating up goons is them beating up each other! Which they do a lot in this one. Add a show down fight with Jackie vs. Benny Urquidez and you have a winner.

These guys amaze me! Yuen defies nature with the way he uses his body. Samo defies all known rules of gravity with the way he almost ‘floats’ thru the air when he should be firmly planted on the ground. And Jackie! You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but he’s like Superman in this film. In a suit he’s a perfectly tailored lawyer, then he takes off the jacket and shirt and I just gasp, “Where was he hiding those muscles? In his pocket?” (Unlike Benny, who looks like a brute even in a suit!)

I have to add a word about the video I got from Advantage (it’s a Tai Seng video) – subtitled and letterbox and it looks great! The subtitles are crystal clear, white with black edges. If you’re looking to buy, I recommend this version. Oh, and in this one, just about everybody gets to use part of their own name, not just Jackie! Oh well, why not?

This movie almost edged out Project A as my favorite ‘3 Brothers’ film, but not quite. Maybe it was because the leading lady, while gorgeous (since when does Jackie act opposite anything under a 10?) gave an excellent impression of life imitating cardboard. Or maybe it was because I just wanted to smack Samo silly for shooting so many fight scenes in the dark! Hey, Samo, this is why we watch these movies! This is why we buy them! We want to be able to see the fights! Despite all that, this movie still gets:

Ro’s Rating: 10/10

By Master of the Stick

This movie is definitely one of the best collaborations between Jackie, Sammo Hung, and Yuen Biao. On the plus side, it actually has a decent plot, so I never got bored. Also, Yuen Biao and Sammo Hung get to show off their skills a lot in this movie – for a fat guy, Sammo can really move! The way the three interacted was hilarious, and I loved the Three Stooges-esque scenes where they beat each other up.

The concept of Jackie Chan as a sex-starved lawyer was pretty cool, too, and I liked the court scenes. The final fight between Jackie and Benny was great, but it wasn’t as long of as unbelievably cool as the one in Wheels on Meals. Basically, there’s nothing wrong with Dragons Forever, but it isn’t spectacular.

Master of the Stick’s Rating: 8/10

By The Great Hendu

SAMMO SPEAKS: “Hey guys, let’s all get together with the cast from Wheels and do a sequel”

YUEN SPEAKS: “Okay, but just for the sake of not repeating ourselves, let’s change our characters a little bit”

JACKIE SPEAKS: “Hey can I be a lawyer who’s a loser with women?”

SAMMO SPEAKS: “Yeah, sure. And Yuen can be your insane friend who keeps his pet fish in a tube.”

YUEN SPEAKS: “And we can all fight with each other and look like the kung-fu stooges… twice!”

JACKIE SPEAKS: “And I can beat up Benny “The Jet” again! Boy, this should be lot of fun!”

Well, it sounded like a recipe for success, but I feel a bit let down. Sure, the fight with Urquidez was good, but not as good as the one in Wheels on Meals. I mean two women, a love story, Jackie and Sammo both gettin’ dumped, who the heck cares if it all “adds to the plot”, it killed a potentially good flick.

Let me ask this question: All those in favor of watching Jackie be a lawyer, raise your hand… (is that Ken Starr back there waving his arm frantically? Sorry Ken, you suck)… All those in favor of watching Sammo, Yuen and Jackie whoop up on some sorry excuses for bad guys raise your hand………. (1,2,3,4… 500… 20,000… 7,000,000)… that’s what I figured.

The Great Hendu’s Rating: 7.5/10

By Dan-O

What a huge, fetid, stinking piece of cinematic trash… whoops, just kidding, heh heh. In this one, Jackie plays a lawyer who, after a case, relaxes by beating the silly piss out of his clients. This is a classic simply because it’s one of the few Chan/Hung/Biao team-up flicks. I thought the love story was, what’s the word, tacky, but the scene where Sammo’s girlfriend beans him in the head with a wrench, and he just stands there, blood streaming down his head, not reacting whatsoever, was heart-breaking, and that’s saying a lot coming from a heartless bastard such as myself. Speaking of Sammo, can someone explain to me the physics of how this paunchy guy can move the way he does? Is he from another dimension? Does he take extra vitamins? I don’t get it, but I’m not really supposed to, am I? Is the plot any good? Who gives a crap?! I sure don’t. Something about drugs and chemicals and whatnot…. don’t worry about it. It’s not about “flubber”, and that’s all that matters.

Did anyone see “The Deadliest Art” besides myself? Well, I don’t really care, but I’ll bet one of you nutcases out there said “I DID!” out loud. They showed quite a few scenes from this movie in it, and evidently in my copy of D.F., the fight scenes have been, say it with me, sped up. Yeah, I know I harp on this WAAAAAY too often, but it’s my firm belief that such a practice of speeding up scenes of a movie by a distributor is about as vomitous an act as colorizing a black and white film or editing it of “objectionable” content. All timing and sense of awe are stripped away in order to make these people appear to move faster than they actually can, which is deceptive, and that bothers me. For instance, when I first saw the scene (in the above mentioned documentary) where Benny Urkidez fights Jackie in the lab, I was simply astonished by the fierce skill and flawless timing of both fighters. In the sped up version however, the movements are so goddamn fast your eye almost can’t keep of it. The scene, in affect, loses it’s impact, and… Aah, forget it. I’m probably just typing to myself anyhow.

Dan-O’s Rating: 8/10 (9/10 for the “original” version)

By Vic Nguyen

Isn’t this film great or what! The teaming of Jackie Chan, Samo Hung, and Yuen Biao can be considered as one of the greatest trios in film history. In here, Jackie plays a lawyer that is caught between his client [a chemical plant owner that is secretly manufacturing narcotics] and love [the cousin of the owner of a lake that is suing the chemical plant owner]. Jackie must decide between them with the help of his two friends [Samo Hung and Yuen Biao]. This film is great in action, but what I remember most is the comedy. Yuen Biao’s performance is hilarious as the mentally ill friend of Jackies. The fights are nifty to, including the final fight between Jackie and Benny “The Jet” Urquidez. This film is another must see from Jackie.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Crime Story | aka Serious Crime Squad (1993) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Crime Story" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Crime Story” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Hard to Die
Director: Kirk Wong
Cast: Jackie Chan, Kent Cheng, Law Kar Ying, Au-Yeung, Christine Ng, William Tuan, Ken Lo, Wan Faat, Poon Ling Ling, Chan Daat Gong, Johnny Cheung, Chung Fat, James Ha, Blacky Ko, Rocky Lai
Running Time: 107 min.

By Numskull

Jackie Chan in a Category III movie? Yes folks, it’s true. What’s more, it’s good. Not Project A good or Police Story good, but good. Good as long as you watch the real version rather than the Miramax one. Otherwise, it’s not good. In fact, it’s bad. I don’t like bad movies. I get the feeling most of you don’t like bad movies either.

Jet Li was originally slated to play the lead in this movie, but when that ball was dropped, Jackie Chan took it, ran with it, and scored a touchdown; he won the 1993 Golden Horse Award – Best Actor for his portrayal of not-quite-mentally-stable Inspector Eddie Chan, which came as quite a shock to many people. One of the problems Chan faces as such a unique performer is that when he deviates from his (mostly self-imposed) norm, it generates more attention than it really ought to. So many people see this as The Jackie Chan Movie That Is Not Like Other Jackie Chan Movies that it has been held back from getting the reputation it deserves as, simply, A Movie. Those who watch Crime Story expecting to see a light-hearted action comedy typical of its star are in for a rude awakening, and those who won’t watch it because “Jackie Chan is the guy from Rumble in the Bronx, ’nuff said” are missing out. Watch his body language and facial expressions in this movie and you’ll see that he fully deserves to be referred to as an ACTOR, instead of just an “action star” or what have you. Despite what I just said, this film does kind of fit into a “something different” category of some sort where Jackie Chan is concerned, in the fine company of Heart of the Dragon and The Accidental Spy.

A mood-setting soundtrack and visual style nicely complement the fact-based story about a miserly Hong Kong business tycoon getting abducted, which is grim without being depressing, and simplified for the sake of marketability (as if having Asia’s most popular movie star in the lead role wasn’t enough). The ringleader of the kidnappers is a two-faced cop (played by Kent Cheng) whose diatribes about the lack of certainty in the future for members of his profession are not unique in pre-1997 Hong Kong films. This is definitely better than a stereotypical villain with cheesy diabolical laughter.

No shortage of in-your-face, albeit semi-restrained violence to be found in Crime Story’s handful of action scenes, with the highlight being the fight near the end where some bastard unwillingly gets his hands thrust into boiling water, or whatever that stuff is. The film makers declined to include any significant “Jackie-esque” moments or “Chanisms” which would have seriously detracted from the film’s tone and seemed flippant in consideration of the deceased law enforcement agents to whom Crime Story is dedicated.

A very polished JCMFPWDNLJCM (Jackie Chan Movie For People Who Do Not Like Jackie Chan Movies) as well as a good movie in general, Crime Story should not be overlooked or marginalized by anyone. The only real problem is the generic title. It’s so generic, in fact, that Miramax didn’t even bother to change it.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Ro

This is based on a true story in Hong Kong. A corrupt police officer assists in the kidnapping of a prominent business man. Jackie plays the inspector who unknowingly partners the dirty cop in trying to solve the crime. This film is very different from Jackie’s other movies (he was actually asked to play the part after the original actor backed out). It’s deadly serious, with no comedy whatsoever. If you’re looking for a typical Chan-O-Rama of fun, this isn’t the movie for you. However, the plot is well developed, with some fine acting (I consider this his best ‘serious’ role) and there’s still plenty of fighting and action.

The police psychiatrist in the beginning is pretty annoying, however. She looks more like she’s trying to seduce him than counsel him. Thank God we don’t see much of her. But what’s up with that bad guy kiss???? And don’t think this is the first time I noticed a guy kissing another guy or fondling his hair in Jackie movies – is that the ultimate sign of disrespect in Asia or something?

I read somewhere that Jackie did NOT dub his own voice, but it sure sounded like him to me.

Ro’s Rating: 7.5/10

By James H.

Sometimes when you read other reviews, or even your own, you can see certain things in another light. This is the case with Crime Story. Reading the other reviews, and a long evening, prompted me to re-watch this film.

Some have said that Crime Story is not a “real” Jackie Chan film. For those who say that it is not, I ask why? Why is it not a true Jackie Chan film? Because there aren’t enough fights? Bullshit. No one has ever said something like, “Regarding Henry isn’t a true Harrison Ford movie because he doesn’t kick anyone’s ass.” My theory is that if Jackie stars in it (or directs it) that constitutes a Jackie Chan film.

This film has a very serious tone to it, which is a refreshing change from his other movies. In Crime Story, Jackie plays a Hong Kong cop tracking down a gang of kidnappers. What he does not know is that one of the kidnappers is a cop. Jackie and the corrupt cop are paired together to find the kidnappers. Tension is built throughout the film between the two characters, until it explodes in the climax.

I would like to point out that Kirk Wong is an exceptional director. Crime Story was very well paced and the action exceptionally well done. The opening shootout is great and the end fight is exhilarating. The scene where Jackie confronts the corrupt cop is brilliantly executed as well.

I saw the Dimension release of the film and must say how I was somewhat disappointed with it. Although the picture quality was great, I was appalled with the dubbing. People had told me that the guy who dubbed Jackie was utterly atrocious. I thought that they were exaggerating. There was no hyperbole in that statement. The voice actor was horrible, plain and simple. The music, however, was not horrible. Nor was it exceptional. There were some above average pieces that fit the film perfectly.

Overall, a magnificent film. The only thing now is to convince the video companies (New Line, Dimension, etc.) to release Jackie’s film letterboxed with nice yellow subtitles.

James H’s Rating: 9/10

By Vic Nguyen

Jackie Chan has proven himself over the years, but I never would have expected him to take a turn from his usual slapstick to a crime drama.

Jackie plays Inspector Chan, a cop who will stop at nothing to reduce crime in Hong Kong. Here he meets Wong Tak-Fai, a wealthy business man who believes that someone is plotting to kidnap him, he has no proof, but calls it “a gut feeling”. Later, while driving home, he is kidnapped by masked men in a sequence that has to be seen to be believed [Jackie even lifts a car in this sequence!]. Jackie is assigned to the case, partnering him with Detective Hung, who secretly is connected to the kidnapping. Jackie then suspects Hung is connected and will stop at nothing to find out the truth!

Jackie’s impressive performance as a dramatic star won him the 1993 Hong Kong Film Award for best actor. This movie is not for those who love the slapstick films Jackie has made over the years, but is filled with many incredible action sequences, especially a fight on top of a ceiling of bamboo poles. Definetly recommended and is easily accesible at all Blockbuster video chains across the country.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7/10 (for those who like the usual Jackie slapstick); 10/10 (for those who dont care and like action and drama in films)

By Dan-O

Possibly the first Chan flick in which I actually gave a rats dingus about the supporting characters ( or the story for that matter). The only thing that REALLY stuck in my craw was the schmo they got to POORLY impersonate Jackies’ broken english. Listen closley…that AIN’T his voice. I realize Jackie doesn’t exactly speak The Queens English, but he does pretty damn well for a guy who never learned to read or write even in Cantonese. He speaks, what, 4 languages? I KNOW Chan speaks more fluent English than that. And while I’m bitching up a storm here, I’m so disgusted with these dildo-heads who pitch a shitfit if there’s not enough kung-fu to suit their limited taste. Hey folks, in my insignificant little opinion, you oughta be damned delighted that this man still has any kung-fu, wu-shu, or what-have-you left in his broken lil’ body, considering the level of abuse he’s put it through. Put THAT in your bong and smoke it!

Dan-O’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Isabella (2006) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Isabella" Chinese Theatrical Poster

"Isabella" Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Isabela
Director: Pang Ho Cheung
Writer: Pang Ho Cheung, Derek Tsang, Jimmy Wan
Cast: Isabella Leung, Chapman To, Derek Tsang Kwok Cheung, Meme Tian, J. J. Jia, Anthony Wong Chau Sang, Josie Ho Chiu Yee, Shawn Yue Man Lok, Jim Chim Sui Man, Steven Cheung Chi Hang
Running Time: 91 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

After seeing this Isabella’s trailer I couldn’t wait to see the actual movie. Now that I’ve seen it, it’s safe to say that Isabella is a victim of high expectations.

The problem with Isabella is director Edmond Pang is trying to be Wong Kar Wai. Plain and simple. Too many forced artsy shots of Chapman To smoking a cigarette or leaning against a slot machine; or just some wannabe artsy angle of some wall or something. It’s not a bad thing to be influenced by a great filmmaker like Wong Kar Wai, but in this movie, it ends up being pretentious.

On the plus side, the performances are great. The music is beautiful (“O Gente Da Minha Terra” by Mariza is a sweet tune and really adds flavor to this average movie; as does the rest of the soundtrack). Isabella Leung (yes, her name is Isabella in real life) is one hell of a sight to look at. The cinematography and exotic locations of Macau are classy.

All this makes a great trailer, but a forgettable movie.

I do have faith in Edmond Pang (Men Suddenly in Black). After some fine-tuning and maybe some of his own original ideas, I’m sure he’s capable of making a great movie of this kind.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 5/10 (the trailer 10/10)

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Awakening (1994) Review

Posted on January 16, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Awakening" Chinese DVD Cover

"Awakening" Chinese DVD Cover

Director: Cha Chuen Yee
Writer: Chung Oi-Fan, Rico Chung Kai-Cheong, Lam Kee-To
Producer: Cha Chuen-Yee, Rico Chung Kai-Cheong
Cast: Anita Lee Yuen Wah, Carman Lee Yeuk Tung, Tam Suk Mui, Anthony Wong Chau Sang, Simon Yam Tat Wah
Running Time: 92 min.

By Gwailo

Simon Yam is a man tormented by the past. He blames con man/feng shui master/sorcerer Anthony Wong for “dragging his wife and kid to death.” In turn, yam elicits some of his own hocus pocus to get revenge and sets out to debunk bunko artist Wong whose gaining fame and fortune exploiting societies theological consciousness

Hardcore category III stalwarts Wong and Yam, in their first teaming since 1992’s Full Contact, drift into this Cat II off the wall offering and pull off a stunt. Awakening is a wholly enjoyable and entertaining, if largely muddled and confusing, horror flick that’s actually hard to believe it received the rating it did. The film has numerous Cat III sensibilities leaning toward sex, violence, and ill humor, including but not limited to, AIDS jokes.

Director Cha Chun Yee’s (Once Upon in Triad Society I, II) film is nothing short of insane. It runs around like a 7 year old with AD-HD- it’s all over the place. As Wong su ffers a reversal of fortune and Yam gains notoriety, camp and mayhem ensue. Wong’s wife gives birth to a baby doll with a beard, Wong’s mistress turns out to be a man, his daughter has a Randy “Macho Man” Savage doll she calls uncle, and i’m unsure if this was intentional or just a flubtitle, but at one point in the movie Wong picks up a PR chick who calls him “pock man”- of course referring to the actors Edward James Olmosian-like face. Intended or not I almost pissed myself.

Awakening is an erratic, anarchic, outlandish flick fueled by camp and hammy acting by scenery chewing stars Wong and Yam. I’m uncertain at what the film proposes, if anything, in the way of social comment, possibly on the excesses of organized religion and society being easily duped by the unknown, but at films end the two mystics shake hands and vow to rid the world of false prophets. While Awakening may not be for all pallets, I’ve never seen anything quite like it. That’s a good thing.

Gwailo’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |
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