Somewhere Blu-ray/DVD (Universal)

Somewhere Blu-ray/DVD (Universal)

Somewhere Blu-ray/DVD (Universal)

RELEASE DATE: April 19, 2011

Directed by Sofia Coppola (Virgin Suicides, Lost In Translation), “Somewhere” revolves around a hard-living Hollywood actor (Stephen Dorff) who re-examines his life after his 11-year-old daughter (Elle Fanning) surprises him with a visit. In case you guys don’t know, Sofia Coppola is the goddess of cinema.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

R.I.P. Sidney Lumet

Sidney Lumet 1924-2011

Sidney Lumet 1924-2011

Legendary director Sidney Lumet has died at the age of 86. The New York Times reported early Saturday that Lumet, a four time Oscar nominee, died of lymphoma.

He is best known for 12 Angry Men (1957), Serpico (1973), Dog Day Afternoon (1975), Network (1976) and The Verdict (1982).

Just a few day ago, I received an email from the gZa saying: “Check out a film called NETWORK (Sidney Lumet, 1976)! Daddy as fuck! I can’t believe I’d never seen it until t’other day.”

More details here.

Updates: Prominent industry tributes for Lumet can be read here.

Posted in News |

Goemon | aka The Legend of Goemon (2009) Review

"Goemon" American DVD Cover

“Goemon” American DVD Cover

AKA: Goemon: The Robin Hood of Japan
Director: Kazuaki Kiriya
Writer: Kazuaki Kiriya, Tetsuro Takita
Cast: Yosuke Eguchi, Takao Osawa, Ryoko Hirosue, Gori, Eiji Okuda, Eiji Okuda, Kazuaki Kiriya, Jun Kaname, Masato Ibu, Hashinosuke Nakamura, Susumu Terajima, Mikijiro Hira, Tetsuji Tamayama, Choi Hong-man
Running Time: 128 min.

By Ningen

A revisionist take on the titular legendary Japanese thief, this Hero/300-esque follow-up from the director of the live-action Casshern emphasizes his role in Japan’s warring state era, and suggests he was an ex-ninja for historical warlord Oda Nobunaga, before setting out on his own path.

Nobunaga’s successor, Hideyoshi, is not a very popular leader, and there are already plans in affects from rival factions to take him out. Goemon’s, at first, not really aligned either way, and just plundering storehouses to give money to the poor. But when his latest heist leads to an innocent peasant getting killed, he takes the woman’s son as his charge, and literally strikes a blow against the regime.

This entangles him with a conflicted vassal by the name of Saizo whom Goemon served with under Nobunaga. Then there’s Oda’s niece, Lady ChaCha, who is being pressured to marry Hideyoshi, even though she and Goemon had a special bond which transcends the typical master and servant relationship. In addition, ChaCha and Saizo’s loyalty to Hideyoshi get further tested as the leader becomes drunk with power.

For viewers concerned about lacking prior historical knowledge of the setting, you’ll be relieved to know that Goemon plays loose with details to fit its own narrative; so you don’t have to worry about “getting” it. On the other hand, Japanophiles might be a little more irked that Kiriya, the director, doesn’t go with a traditional samurai motif, as you can see European and Chinese cinematic influences in the outfits and set designs. Those aren’t bad touches mind you, but if you’re a purist expecting something closer to Kurosawa or Yoji Yamada, you might want to just rent their stuff instead.

But if you’re looking for a modernized fantasy take of classic source material, a la Prince of Persia, then Goemon might be for you.

Goemon features vivid, sweeping landscapes and bright, elaborate costumes which just scream “exotic”. The fights are epic in scale, and very intense, particularly in close-combat. The swords and arrows really connect, and even though the execution might seem a bit “video game-y”, there’s no attempt to mess with the credibility of the action sequences.

If there are any issues with Goemon, I would say it delves a bit too much into different arguments about war and peace and society vs. anarchy. Also, ChaCha comes off a bit tacked-on, and doesn’t really add anything important to the main story. But if you can overlook those issues, then you’ll easily be dazzled by the various visual sights in Goemon.

Ningen’s Rating: FX: 9/10 Set Designs: 9/10 Action: 8/10 Story: 7/10 Overall: 7/10

Posted in Japanese, Reviews | Tagged , |

New Legend of Shaolin, The | aka The Legend of the Red Dragon (1994) Review

"The New Legend of Shaolin" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The New Legend of Shaolin” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Wong Jing
Cast: Jet Li, Chingmy Yau, Tse Miu, Deannie Yip, Yeung Wai, Johnny Wang, Chan Chung Yung, Adam Cheng, Damian Lau, Chu Ko, Ji Chun Hua, Jacqueline Ng, Corey Yuen, Chiu Gwok, Wong Jing
Running Time: 94 min.

By JJ Hatfield

I watched this film a few years back and recalled thinking it would be a long time before I watched it again. So I checked some notes and put it on my trusty Oppo. That old feeling came back to me… It really doesn’t start off too bad. The plot though is extremely convoluted and the pacing is like riding in a car with a first time user of a standard transmission. There were some actually funny moments but mostly Wong Jing moments.

Jet on the other hand is almost too serious or maybe he was depressed from being in the movie. Jet is really the only good thing about this movie. He seems to think it is real(as a character). Watching Jet is the best thing about this flick so watch him while he is the focus. I confess to being annoyed with the tattooed kids and by the time the wtf? car arrives on the scene I just don’t care anymore. Jet has made so many great films you wonder how he ended up in this Wong Jing silliness.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 4/10


By Woody

Ahhh, the summer of 1997, I will never forget that one. I was ten years old, and, fueled by Hong Kong chopsocky flicks and the musical stylings of The Wu Tang Clan, determined to become a certified kung fu master. Unlike others, who would simply sign up for karate at the local Junior College, I was determined to do it on my own, laughing at them for working so hard for material possessions like belts and trophies. I, of course, was not laughing when they beat the holy hell out of me, but that’s another story all together.

Anyways, I worked hard at becoming a kung fu master. I watched every badly dubbed old school chopsocky and every badly subbed bootleg I could get my hands on. I read the “Tao of Jeet Kune Do” twelve times, front to back (without understanding a single word). I broke fingers, toes, and knuckles countless times practicing forms on my mother’s coat racks. I ate enough ramen to feed North Korea ten times over. I was determined.

It was during this summer that I discovered Jet Li. It was during this summer that I gave up on kung fu.

It was a typical summer day. I was in my room, clad in in my Chinese slippers and orange tracksuit (they didn’t have any yellow ones at the store). Having just finished watching a rented copy of “Police Force”, my favorite Jackie Chan moment at the time, I decided to return it and rent another movie, so I hopped onto my modified lowrider Huffy and pedaled away.

Looking through the aisles of movies in the action section, I was confronted with the same titles as usual…”Rambo”, “Hard Death”, “Alien Predator”, and “Angel Cops.” But two titles in particular caught my eye, new arrivals entitled “The Shaolin Temple” and “The New Legend of Shaolin.” Both starred “Jet Lee, world wushu champion.” They looked like quality fare. I grabbed them up, payed my two bucks, raced home, took a piss, got my dick got in the zipper, got my dick out of my zipper, ran into my room, and popped in “The Shaolin Temple.”

My jaw was wide open in disbelief for days afterward. I was beyond stunned, and my belief in my martial skills were a bit dashed. These guys could do flips onto their heads! I decided, none to wisely I might add, that doing flips onto my head was the answer to martial success.

Long story short, I was covered in blood and had to get stitches. Laying in bed, I noticed a tape lying next to the VCR. Shit, I had forgotten to watch and return “New Legend of Shaolin.” I yelled for my mother, and she fed it into my VCR.

It was a pretty painful experience. The first words out of my mouth were “RIP-OFF”, as Wong Jing lifted the entire opening from a favorite movie of mine, “Shogun Assassin.” From there, it only got worse. Terribly-done wire-fu, scatological “humour”, and no suspension of disbelief made it one of the worst films I had ever seen. Not accustomed to the filmic achievements of Wong Jing, I was ill prepared for the daunting task of watching one of his movies. Besides some cool kiddie kung-fu, it was unendurable. And the villain! This dude belonged in a Ninja Turtles video game, not in a Jet Li flick! He drove around in some ancient car and had a pizza face from getting burnt and it was horrendously bad.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and had a serious talking-to with myself.

“Jonathan, you’ve been ‘in training’ for over a year and you still get beat up by eight-year olds in their first year of karate class. ‘The Tao of Jeet Kune Do’ makes no fucking sense, case closed! Your refusal to watch anything but martial arts movies has resulted in you watching shit like “New Legend of Shaolin.” Your head is aching after you did a backflip onto a concrete sidewalk. You will never attain the level of skill that this Jet Lee guy apparently has. Give it a rest, man.”

I was pretty depressed for quite the long while, until my friend Betty got me a present. A compact disc. Raekwon “Only Built 4 Cuban Links.” I put it on the song “Incarcerated Scarfaces”, which I had heard on the radio and really liked. There was a sample at the beginning, something apparently from a crime flick, and it had a definite “dubbed” feeling to it. I soon learned it belonged to a John Woo flick, “The Killer”, and I immediately rented it. The bad taste left in my mouth by “New Legend” soon washed away, replaced by the mouth-watering ultra-violence of John Woo.

All in all, I have regained my love of chopsocky flicks, but my youthful innocence is no more. I no longer aspire to be an ass-kicking celibate world-walking dubbed-talking kung fu master. My only aspirations as of now are to land a hot girlfriend who can cook, get a job, and get into college.

Woody’s Rating: “New Legend of Shaolin” drained the joy out of kung-fu movies for me, and for that, I can only see fit to award it a rating of 1.5/10


By Numskull

To keep my review of this shitty movie from being too one-sided, I’d like to introduce my new sidekick, Otto the Fuckwit Newbie.

NUMSKULL: This is the first of Jet Li’s HK films that I’ve seen, and if I didn’t know that he was capable of better than this, it would also be my last.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Jet Li in movie! hong Kong movie. Hong Kong in CHina, so Jet Li in China Jet Li chinese.

NUMSKULL: Jet Li’s character disqualifies himself for the Father of the Year award by telling his two-year old son in the beginning of the film that he must choose between a knife and a wooden horse. If he chooses the knife, they will become traveling warriors together. If he chooses the horse, Jet will send the boy to Hell (in his own words). To no one’s great surprise, the kid grabs the knife.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Knife or horse? horse or knife? It is life or death. knife

NUMSKULL: Jet Li and his boy (who ages a few years after Jet kills some guy) find themselves hungry and penniless. So Jet starts working for a rich guy who says “Bullying others is the origin of joy.” Jet decides that bullying people isn’t a noble thing to do (unlike threatening to kill his own son) so he tells the guy that he will only serve as a bodyguard.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Jet lI work for rich man. rich man money

NUMSKULL: Meanwhile, a mother-and-daughter con artist team move in with the rich guy. The daughter convinces him that her mom is dead and so they arrange to get married so that Mom can have a proper burial. However, Mom is not really dead, and she has secret meetings with her daughter where they both fart and share stolen food and jewelry. When Mom is on her own, she reaps the benefits of her daughter’s subterfuge, saying: “Wow! So big! My daughter is so nice, she knows I love eating chicken ass. She is great to get the giant one for me.”

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: 2 ladys live with rich guy. mom is died but not realy. I try to eat chicken ass because this movie. next time i will make sure the chicken is dead first.

NUMSKULL: Jet Li and his boy have a heartwarming father-son talk in which they sit right next to each other and Jet mentions that he is not wearing any underwear. His son has bigger problems, though…five kids from the Shaolin temple with portions of a treasure map tattooed on their backs keep bullying him. He says “I won’t fight” and then fights them all about 30 seconds later. But when the Shaolin kids are found by the government, all hell breaks loose and almost everyone in town is slaughtered. Jet then must take the two women and all six kids out of harm’s way.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: kids figh t

NUMSKULL: The government troops are aided by a renegade former Shaolin student who has perpetually melting skin and drives around in a car that looks like the Batmobile in “shield” mode from the first Tim Burton movie, but with sharper angles, and wrapped in aluminum foil. And yes, this IS supposed to be a period film.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Bad Guy in shiny car. I like to drive car

NUMSKULL: Everyone involved…well, Jet mostly…must fight for their life in the climactic battle, in which Molten Men tracks down our heroes. The fight scenes in the film are not the least bit exciting, and they are shameless in their use of wires and other stupid little tricks.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: WOW! jet li can FLY! he is superman

NUMSKULL: Not recommended, not one little bit. Stupid, boring, pointless, pathetic. Lines like “My ass stinks, it’s horrible, don’t eat mine” fail to help matters. Surely one of Jet Li’s lesser efforts.

OTTO THE FUCKWIT NEWBIE: Jet LI movie! Me like movie. movie good! movie good!

Numskull’s Rating: 3/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

American Yakuza (1993) Review

"American Yakuza" American Promotion Poster

“American Yakuza” American Promotion Poster

Director: Frank Cappello
Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Ryo Ishibashi, Michael Nouri, Franklyn Ajaye, Yuji Okumoto, Anzu Lawson, Robert Forster, John Fujioka, Nicky Katt, James Taenaka, Saiko Isshiki, Fritz Mashimo, Jeff Bankert
Running TIme: 95 min.

By JJ Hatfield

After a prisoner finishes a one year term in solitaire he is released and on his own. He had heard of a couple of places that would hire former convicts and he heads out to find his way in this new life. Finding a job at a warehouse owned by the Japanese Yakuza patriarch Shuji Sawamoto (Ryo Ishibashi) was more than just a job. New guys were told to be respectful and keep the old ways of the family.

The leader of the Italian Mafia, Dino Campanela (Michael Nouri) orders an attack on Shuji Sawamoto, a high placed representative of the Yakuza in the U.S. The lowly new guy saves his life and Shuji Sawamoto wants him to work for the Yakuza. This is a most important point in the film. His response may change everything in his life.

Nick (Viggo Mortensen) is not really an ex con trying to start over. In reality he is an undercover FBI agent on a mission to infiltrate the Yakuza. Initially it is a rather simple case but the more he investigates the more he is immersed in the world of Yakuza. There he learns not everything is simple nor evil. He is indeed treated as family but he knows there is always a price.

The FBI is not happy with their undercover officer and want real information immediately. There is a strong rumor spreading that the Italian crime syndicate in the area is going to take down all of the Yakuza in one hellish massive slaughter. Eliminate their presence once and for all. The FBI decides to let the Italians and Japanese kill each other off and deal with anyone who survives.

Things Nick had thought of as good or bad – right or wrong now seemed to be an emotional haze of gray. He becomes truly involved with the Yakuza boss’ god daughter. The code the organization lives by is so different than anything he had imagined. The Yakuza was bad, period. Yet he had witnessed extraordinary acts of honor, kindness and selflessness. There were so many traditions, some in practice for two thousand years or more. Though organized crime was wrong and illegal he had never been treated with so much respect, and returned it openly. This Yakuza family was stronger than any family by birth. Everyone was looked after and taken care of – that’s all he knew. His peers would lay their life down for him because he was family.

Lines have blurred and Nick cannot reconcile the FBI aspect of his life with this assignment. When a shoot – out of major proportions seems about to erupt The FBI shuts down the investigation and calls Nick back from the field. He is furious they will allow so many people to die just to easily eliminate part of their problem. If the FBI plans go correctly they can make a move to hold sway of the Yakuza and Italians that will want to move in to soon to be unclaimed territory.

He has never found himself at odds with his superiors. They might not like some of his tactics but he got the job done. No police department had 1/10th of the respect and integrity shown by the Yakuza. And yet he did have a family of sorts in the FBI too. There were men and women he would protect with his life but now those relationships had become strained. Who could he trust? He is branded as a “rogue agent” but would they really shoot him? He cannot be certain of anything.

This topic is really an interesting one and requires more time to seem completely realistic. The film could have delved further into the Yakuza and Nick’s growing confusion about right and wrong even existing. It is Mortensen’s interaction with Shuji Sawamoto and his love interest that could have been taken further in a two part film. Not a sequel or reboot – just a longer movie.

“American Yakuza” is not a kick ass action movie. There is fighting and naturally guns but not to any great extent. Most of the action is Mortensen riding the edge, knowing sooner or later he was going to have to make a choice.

This one is well worth seeing and will be a mandatory purchase for all fans of Viggo Mortensen.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

The Boondock Saints: Truth & Justice Edition Blu-ray (Fox)

"Boondock Saints" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Boondock Saints" Japanese Theatrical Poster

RELEASE DATE: June 14, 2011

The Boondock Saints: Truth & Justice Edition! Irish brothers Connor and Murphy MacManus live and work in South Boston. After killing a Russian mobster in self-defense, the brothers believe they have found their calling from God ridding the earth of human evil. So they set out to complete their divine deed by ridding the streets of gangsters, criminals and lowlifes. Starring Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, David Ferry and directed by Troy Duffy.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

My Kingdom poster revealed

"My Kingdom" Chinese Theatrical Poster

"My Kingdom" Chinese Theatrical Poster

Poster for My Kingdom (Da Wu Sheng), a martial arts films that takes place in Shanghai in the 1920s (maybe we’ll get another appearance from Chen Zhen?). It stars actor-singer Wu Chun (14 Blades), tarlet Barbie Hsu (Reign of Assassins) and Chinese pop music sensation Han Geng in his film debut. Also stars Hong Kong heavies, Yu Rong-Guang and Yuen Biao.

My Kingdom is directed by Gao Xiaosong and written by Zou Jingzhi (Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles), My Kingdom is set for release later this year. It’s produced by the legendary Sammo Hung – who also serves as action director – and Andre Morgan.

– Thanks to BLfan from the forum at kungfucinema.com for the heads up!

Posted in News |

True Grit (Coen Brothers) Blu-ray/DVD

True Grit (Coen Brothers) Blu-ray/DVD

True Grit (Coen Brothers) Blu-ray/DVD

RELEASE DATE: June 7, 2011

True Grit is a powerful story of vengeance and valor set in an unforgiving and unpredictable frontier where justice is simple and mercy is rare. Starring Hailee Steinfeld, Josh Brolin, Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon. Directed by the Coen Brothers (Fargo), which is their take on the original 1969 John Wayne western.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Blow Out Blu-ray/DVD (Criterion)

Blow Out Blu-ray/DVD (Criterion Collection)

Blow Out Blu-ray/DVD (Criterion Collection)

RELEASE DATE: Apr 26, 2011

In the enthralling Blow Out, brilliantly crafted by Brian De Palma (Sisters, Carrie, Scarface), John Travolta (Saturday Night Fever, Pulp Fiction) gives one of his greatest performances (it’s Quentin Tarantino’s favorite Travolta movie), as Jack, a movie sound-effects man who believes he has accidentally recorded a political assassination. New, restored digital transfer, supervised by director Brian De Palma!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Deep Red Blu-ray/DVD (Blue Underground)

Deep Red Blu-ray/DVD (Blue Underground)

Deep Red Blu-ray/DVD (Blue Underground)

RELEASE DATE: May 17, 2011

Argento’s classic shocker has been newly transferred in stunning High Definition from its original camera negative. The DVD version is presented here in the Uncensored English Version for the first time ever! The Blu-ray version is presented in both the Uncensored English Version and Full-Length Italian Director’s Cut!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

The Cat O’ Nine Tails Blu-ray (Blue Underground)

The Cat O' Nine Tails Blu-ray (Blue Underground)

The Cat O' Nine Tails Blu-ray (Blue Underground)

RELEASE DATE: May 31, 2011

This is the definitive version of Argento’s masterful second film, presented completely uncut and uncensored in a brand-new High Definition transfer from its original camera negative!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

The Nesting Blu-ray/DVD (Blue Underground)

The Nesting Blu-ray/DVD (Blue Underground)

The Nesting Blu-ray/DVD (Blue Underground)

RELEASE DATE: June 28, 2011

Long unavailable on home video, THE NESTING has been newly transferred in blood-curdling High Definition from the original camera negative.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Protector, The (1985) Review

"The Protector" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“The Protector” Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: James Glickenhaus
Cast: Jackie Chan, Danny Aiello, Roy Chiao Hung, Sally Yeh Tse Man, Moon Lee Choi Fong, Bill Wallace, Shum Wai, John Ladalski, Fung Hak On
Running Time: 91 min.

By JJ Hatfield

This movie has two very different versions. The original version was made in the U.S. Jackie Chan made another attempt to break in to the movie market, even after “The Big Brawl” failed to find the fans. Jackie was almost as unhappy as many fans were with the U.S version of this movie.

The plot has Jackie as a cop in the US and partnered with Danny Aiello. They are two of New York’s finest, or something like that. Assigned to investigate the kidnaping of a wealthy businessman’s daughter the trail leads them to Hong Kong. There they find the kidnaping is somehow involved with manufacturing and smuggling drugs. Jackie has to save his partner and the kidnap victim as well as fight Bill “Superfoot” Wallace!

Clint Eastwood is Dirty Harry, not Jackie Chan. Having Jackie using big guns and tough one liners just did not work. Jackie uses comedy in his films not John Woo ballistic scenes. He was also hampered by his lack of English and had to depend on the director (James Glickenhaus) and others to tell him what US fans found humorous. Glickenhaus was a fool. He wasted Chan when he could have had a fairly good decent buddy movie.

Jackie went back to Hong Kong angry and upset. He decided to “fix” the movie and added more fights scenes, more action including the entire fight with Bill Wallace, with less inane nudity and bj’s. Involving more Hong Kong actors also raised the bar a bit. The fights are really nothing special but anything added by Jackie could only be an improvement. The result is a slightly chaotic but improved version. Still it can not be considered amongst Jackie’s best work. One way to tell the difference is by the cast. There are more Hong Kong cast members in the revised version.

If you are going to view this movie avoid the the US version. If there is a silver lining to this dark cloud hanging over his movie history it is this: Jackie was burned and learned from this experience and determined to make his own kind of police movie. That movie became “Police Story.”

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 2/10 (U.S. version), 5/10 (Hong Kong version),


By Joe909

Possible conversation between director James Glickenhaus and anonymous financial backer, early 1985:

“So James, let’s hear what you’ve got.”

“Uh, well, [name deleted], it’s an idea I had for a cop flick. Two rogue officers, play by their own rules. Plus I’ve got some shit set in Hong Kong, like you asked.”

“Good. Golden Harvest wants this to be a total US-Hong Kong venture. I hear the studio head, some guy named Chow, has had his greedy eyes on the US market for a while. Jackie Chan’s his top attraction, I mean the guy’s like a god over there. Chow wants to break him in the US market. This could be an opportunity for you, James. This guy could be the next Bruce Lee.”

“Yeah, but that’s Hong Kong, [name deleted]. If this Ching guy thinks he can go from being a superstar over there to cock of the block in Hollywood, I’m sorry, but he’s fuckin nuts, you know?”

“I know where you’re coming from, James. But this is still a great opportunity. And his name is Chan. So let’s hear about the movie.”

“Okay, so it opens with midgets. Midgets and dudes straight out of Road Warrior. Mohawks, facepaint, armor.”

“So this is a post-Apocalypse type thing?”

“No. No, they’re just your average New York punks.”

“Okay.”

“So they rob a truck, right? And that’s the intro for our boy. He shows up with his partner, right on the scene of the crime.”

“He gets in a fight with the Road Warrior guys? I like that.”

“No, no, those guys are gone. We only see em in the opening. Uh, Jack shows up after it’s all over. But you know, we gotta set it up that New York’s one dangerous place, right?”

“So Jackie and his partner go after the mohawk guys, then?”

“No, no, they go to a bar.”

“A bar?”

“Right. Just to let off some steam, whatever.”

“So you mean we don’t even see these Road Warrior guys anymore? Or the midgets?”

“No, [name deleted], they got nothing to do with anything, okay? I just wanted to show some bizarre shit to get the ball rolling, you know?”

“Well, okay.”

“All right. Let’s say we’ve got these guys, I want em real hardcore, Vietnam vets lookin for the latest score. They’re gonna rob a bar, right? In the middle of the day.”

“Would the place even have any money?”

“Look, that doesn’t matter. These guys are hardwired, right? I’m talkin Mac-10s, Uzis, M-16s. They go in, and get this, it’s the same bar Jake and his partner just went into!”

“I like it!”

“Yeah. I mean, these guys are so hot to rob and kill, they just kinda charge on into the place. I mean, if one of em happens to bump into the door on the way in, we’ll keep it in the print, you know?”

“Make it look real-to-life.”

“You got it. And let’s say they’re holding the place up, and one of em I kinda picture him as a big dumb guy who likes plush toys goes back to the john, and there’s, uh, Jack back there, pissing. At least, that’s how it looks. But then the little fucker turns around, right, and real quick we see he’s got his .45 in his hands, instead of his cock. BLAM! Robber’s guts all over the wall.”

“I love it!”

“Maybe he could say something like, ‘Can’t a fuckin guy take a fuckin piss any-fuckin-more?’ or somethin like that.”

“Lot of ‘fuckins,’ there.”

“He’s a cop, right? ‘Fuck’ is his favorite word. I want this guy, this, uh ”

“Chan.”

“I want him to use ‘fuck’ as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, all that shit. Fuck, I want im to use it as a pronoun.”

“I don’t see where he’d have a problem with that.”

“But anyway, John’s partner gets wasted during the gunfight in the bar. And speaking of which, this gunfight’s gonna be the best EVER. Slow-motion, guys screaming while they empty clips on full-auto. I got this image in mind where Jake shoots this one dude, and I’m gonna get this super-slow motion shot of the guy just getting tossed like a ragdoll through a window.”

“Jackie’s partner gets killed?”

“Yeah, so that way we can work in a revenge angle. But anyway, he gets a new partner. Preferably white. Can’t have two ethnicities in the lead roles, right?”

“That’s box office poison. That’s death.”

“Gotta be someone good lookin. For the ladies. I doubt this Charlie guy’s got drop-dead good looks.”

“It’s ‘Jackie.’ So who’re you thinking?”

“Two words: Danny Aiello.”

“Perfect!”

“I got Danny’s character in mind as a Vietnam vet, just as crazy as Jake’s character is. Two supercops, right? Plus Danny’s always lookin for a fight, plus he don’t cotton to superiors, if you know what I mean. Hates authority. And everywhere he goes, he takes his Uzi. Got in mind lots of scenes of him screamin while he just lets loose a clip on full auto.”

“That’s great stuff. Maybe you can have it so that his clothing gets torn often. So he can show off his physique for the ladies.”

“You got it. Okay, so halfway through the flick, Jeff and Danny are gonna go to Hong Kong. Let’s say they’re over there cause they’re supposed to be protectin some chick, maybe the daughter of some American criminal. I have it in mind that they’re at some fancy fashion show ”

“With a catwalk and all that?”

“Nah, I was thinkin it could be more of a deal with models dancing, maybe a couple lights, you know. Then these crooks in ski masks just bust in the place and make off with her. And then Chen and Danny find out the next morning that she’s been taken to Hong Kong.”

“The crooks get her to Hong Kong overnight? That’s impossible! I’m telling you, that’s just impossible!”

“Say, I like that. I think I might give that line to Jake and Danny’s chief. I’ve got a real good, original idea for the chief, by the way. He’s always gonna be pissed off at the two of em, callin em ‘supercops,’ and shit. You know, just something totally different than what you’d normally see in a cop picture.”

“Great!”

“We’ll have it so, uh, our star, he knows through reputation of the Chinese dude who runs all the crime in Hong Kong. He’s behind the kidnapping of the chick our boy was protecting. I have him in mind kinda thin, reedy, slicked back hair.”

“We gonna get a local to play the part?”

“Fuck that. What’re we gonna have him do, speak whatever language they talk over there?”

“Cantonese.”

“Forget it. They’re all gonna speak English. When our boy’s talkin to the bad guy, I don’t care if both of em were born and raised in Hong Kong, they’re gonna speak in English.”

“Well, there’s a problem there, James. I just got word that Jackie’s English isn’t very good.”

“How bad is it?”

“Let’s just say he’ll need to learn his lines phonetically.”

“I don’t understand what that means.”

“It means we’ll have to hire someone to teach him how to say all of his lines: pronunciation, delivery, everything.”

“FUCK! Now you tell me this shit! I thought you told me he’s made a coupla movies over here already?”

“The Cannonball Run pics and something that ‘Enter the Dragon’ guy, Bob Clouse, directed. All of it shit.”

“Oh, yeah. I loved Cannoball Run 2. He was in that?”

“He was the Japanese guy in the high-tech car.”

“So he’s Japanese?”

“No, he just played one.”

“Same difference. Now let’s talk boat chases.”

“Okay.”

“I want at least five of them.”

“Genius!”

“I want this guy, this whatsisname, Johnnie?”

“It’s Jackie, James. You know, like Gleason.”

“I want this little fucker to LIVE on a boat. Someone steals a woman’s purse, I want the bastard on a boat, chasing his ass. Fuck, he’s in the DESERT, I want a boat chase. Oh, shit.”

“What’s wrong? People love boat chases, right?”

“It’s not that. I mean, this guy’s from China, right? He’s probably never even SEEN a boat before. You know how that place is. Lots of shantytowns and villages full of VC and shit, fish heads and rice for dinner. We’ll probably have to stunt-double him for the boat chases.”

“I’m figuring we’re gonna have to stunt-double him throughout.”

“No shit. I mean, all those people make are chop-sockies, right? Nickel and dime budget, lots of punching and kicking.”

“No boat chases!”

“Exactly. No boat chases! Shit, there goes my idea for havin him dangling from a helicopter. The little bastard would probably run away as soon as the blades got going.”

“But about these boat chases, James you’ll have to make sure people know where they’re taking place. I mean, we spend the money to shoot in Hong Kong harbor, we’d better get plenty of shots of the place.”

“[name deleted], you know me. I have a reputation in this industry as a master of establishing shots. You wanna make sure people know we’re in Hong Kong? I’m gonna make parts of this movie into a fuckin travelogue! Shit, even for the New York boat chase I’m gonna have at least twenty shots of the Empire State Building, the Twin Towers, and the Statue of Liberty jammed in there.”

“So how’s it all going to end?”

“Well, Danny and our boy basically take on all of Hong Kong’s underworld. I got some great shit in my head, can’t wait to get it on film. Like the main bad guy, he’s got this drug lab that only employs ladies. But the thing is, they’re all naked!”

“Oh, have them wearing white tennis shoes, and that’s it.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve always had a thing for naked women in white tennis shoes. I don’t know why.”

“Hey, you’re puttin up the money. Whatever you want. I’ll even try to work in a totally-gratuitous close-up of some jugs while one of em’s bagging up some dope.”

“Make em saggy ones.”

“Huh?”

“Saggy tits in the close-up. The saggier the better.”

“Uh, okay. Yeah, sure.”

“Do you have some fireworks in mind for the finale?”

“That’s the best part. The final battle, right? The main Hong Kong villain’s got Jackson stuck in some sort of construction rig.”

“How’d he get there?”

“Who cares? Audiences’ll only be paying attention to the action scenes, anyway. I’ll just make up the story shit as I go along. So the villain’s circling around in a helicopter, shooting at our boy, let’s say with a Mac-10 or something.”

“From a helicopter? Would a Mac-10 even be an accurate weapon from so far away?”

“Who cares? But anyway, Chang will somehow lure the helicopter closer, and get hold of the rig’s controls. And then BLAM! He drops a couple tons of some shit right on the helicopter!”

“Just blowing the villain out of the sky.”

“You got it! And I have it all in my head, right? I mean, we’ll keep the camera on Johnnie there in the rig, and we’ll see the helicopter explode outside, but here’s the genius part: we’ll hear the villain scream AFTER the helicopter’s exploded!”

“It defies all laws of reality! I love it! You have any ideas for the soundtrack?”

“Don’t worry about that. They’ve got those demo keyboards you can play for free, over at Radio Shack. I’ll just get one of the assistants to go over there on his lunch break and come up with some stuff.”

“Okay, let’s go with it. I’ll call Jackie’s people, get him over here. I just have one minor concern, James.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, let’s say Chan isn’t happy with the final product. What if he takes the finished movie and re-cuts it, makes it more like his usual-type flick, and releases his version in Hong Kong?”

“That’s preposterous! Asians can’t make movies!”

Joe909’s Rating: US version (as a “movie” movie): 5/10; (as a work of pure 1980s cheese): 9/10


By The Great Hendu

If we could liken Jackie and Danny Aiello to two different vehicles Jackie would be a well maintained candy apple red Lamboughini and Aiello would be an old, ugly, beatup, rusty ’68 Ford pick-up with the bed torn off and replaced with a rotting wooden platform. HOW can these two guys be put in the same universe? If Sammo had taken this script and juiced it up and replaced Aiello with like, say, Yuen Biao, I think it could have been a decent movie. But, as is, it pretty much bites.

There are a few minor stunts, lots of shooting, very little fighting and a semi-decent motorcycle jump by Jackie. At the end of the movie Jackie fights Bill Wallace. Now we all know the possibilities are endless, but what a major disappointment it was! It could have been as good as Jackie vs The Jet, but it fell far, far short of that. It’s no wonder Jackie was disillusioned by the American market!

The Great Hendu’s Rating: 3.5/10 (U.S. Version)


By James H

There are so many things wrong with this movie, I don’t know where to begin. First we have a really bad director (Did anyone see “McBain”?), a lame plot and bad acting, except for Jackie, of course.

The action was very bad, fights seemed slow and chases were boring. Glickenhaus (who also wrote this trash) is totally at fault. He does to an action movie what a hammer does to fixing your stereo. The fights are bogged down with slowmotion crap (not the cool John Woo way) and the chases are lack excitement because they are shot from too far away. I could go into MUCH more detail, about how to film a better chase, but I won’t.

Probably the worst part of the movie was teaming Jackie with Danny Aiello (who was good in “Hudson Hawk”). He had such great lines like: “Let’s get those fuckers!”, “Gimme that fuckin’ thing!” and my favourite “Drop the gun, motherfucker!”. I mean, really, all he did was pull out his gun and swear at the bad guys. I also had a problem with the nudity in this film. Really, what kind of sick mind does Glickenhaus have? What ever made him think of having naked women in the drug manufacturing plant? Another thing that bothered me was the music. Ken Thorne, who butchered John Williams brilliant music in “Superman II” and “Superman III”, can’t write a decent theme to save his life.

There were maybe one or two cool kicks and moves, but that was it. My friends and I made a better film in Media class this year. I just wish I had those 95 minutes of my life back.

James H’s Rating: 2/10 (U.S. Version)


By Vic Nguyen

The American version of the Protector is easily one of Jackie Chan’s worst films ever. This version (HK) of the Protector is a major improvement, but was still lacking. The problems that I had with both versions of the Protector is the lack of comedy. Jackie Chan is a gifted comedian, and taking that away from his films is a complete waste unless you have a good dramatic script, and the script for the Protector is far from dramatic.

Still, the Hong Kong version had it’s strong points, especially the fight scenes. There are two new added fight scenes in the Hong Kong version, one wiith Jackie fighting 2 guys in a weight room and the other involving two friends and gangsters in a ship yard, but was still good. The major difference between the two versions is the final fight between Jackie and Bill Wallace. The fight is much faster and is more exciting. The original version’s final fight is short, with the standard punch, kick, block and repeating. This version adds acrobatics which reminds us of the old Jackie.

There is also a subplot added with ” The Killer” costar Sally Yeh. But by far the best thing about the Hong Kong version is that all of the gratuitous nudity and bad language were taken out, which is a trademark of American style B movies. Overall, the Hong Kong version of the Protector is the best version available and is worth the extra effort to find it. When you watch this version, you will forget all about the Glickenhaus piece of crap.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 2/10 (U.S. Version), 7/10 (Hong Kong version)


By Clint

I have only seen the American version of this poor excuse for a JC movie. I have heard that there were major improvements on it in the HK version. I have to locate a copy of that somewhere. You couldn’t find a worse script than the one this movie contains. I am not even going to point out the really bad lines in the film. No comedy in this movie at all.

The fighting is about as bad as in a Van Damme film, with the exception of Bloodsport and Cyborg, but back to the film at hand. Two halfway decent fight scenes stick out in this movie, they are the massage parlor scene, and the finale in the warehouse. What better place to hold a finale? Oh yeah, JC flips a gun off the carpet and catches it long before he did it in Operation Condor. That’s about all you get from the protector. If you must see this film, they show it on basic cable frequently.

Clint’s Rating: 2/10 (U.S. Version)

Posted in Asian Related, Chinese, Golden Harvest, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Bigger Than Life (1956) Review

"Bigger Than Life" American Theatrical Poster

"Bigger Than Life" American Theatrical Poster

Director: Nicholas Ray
Writer: Berton Roueche, Cyril Hume, Richard Maibaum, James Mason, Nicholas Ray, Clifford Odets, Gavin Lambert
Producer: James Mason
Cast: James Mason, Barbara Rush, Walter Matthau, Robert F. Simon, Christopher Olsen, Roland Winter, Rusty Lane, Rachel Stephens, Kipp Hamilton
Running Time: 95 min.

By JJ Hatfield

This film is a genuine masterpiece! It was created in 1956 and was turned into reality by Nicholas Ray, the director and a superb performance by James Mason. On the surface it might be possible for some to consider it as somewhat of an over the top message about excessive drug usage. But “Bigger Than Life” is much richer and more complex than the viewer can possibly imagine.

James Mason is the protagonist, Ed Avery. He works two jobs so he and his family can be part of the “UMC” upper middle class, even though supposedly there were and are no “class” systems in the U.S. He is a very average sort of man who insists upon living a life that is a facade. He is a teacher and not well paid and has a second job dispatching taxi’s just to “keep up with the Jones’s”. Avery does not even tell his wife, Lou (Barbara Rush) about his extra work even when she thinks there might be another woman. Ed is all smiles, everything is going the way it was supposed to but there are certain actions that seem a little strong. He clearly feels that he may be a bit more intelligent than most and somewhat still an athlete as he was considered excellent back in school. He does everything at home to convince his attractive perfect 50’s wife that life is good and will only get better.

Avery has gathered around him all the things that society demanded of men in 1950’s. The family trappings are there as well, the perfect 50’s wife and son. The large home, typical yard, well decorated but he lives with a hint of something, out of the ordinary when you see pictures of other countries, exciting places, even exotic for the typical American family. Places that he knows deep down he will never see except in those pictures.

The perfect family with the perfect wife, beautiful, polite, always making excuses for her husband’s behavior when it grows too great to camouflage. She supports him without limit but has a quiet strength of her own. Considering the script there was not much from (Chris Olsen) the son to do but he turned in a fairly realistic performance especially as his father begins to spin ever darker resolutions and revolutions. Certainly more than other young actors might have pulled off.

Just as it seems Ed has reached the summit of his goals (obsessions?) he is diagnosed as having a rare arterial disease that is fatal but there is a new and experimental drug that might not only stop the incidents and pain to a great degree but save his very life!

At first Ed is slightly reluctant to take the pills but the pain is so great he is forced to and discovers he feels much better. (People were much more trusting in the conventional medical establishment in that era) As the days and drugs go by Ed becomes demonstrably manic. Insisting on re-doing his wife and starting with her clothing he spends beyond measure. Mason’s transformation for a normal guy with more than average plans very slowly shows itself. He insults the parents and others at the school when he speaks about children, one in particular as a kind of primate. At home he begins to insist upon extremely harsh demands of his son in academics and football.

Lou is very unhappy with the whole affair but is ever the dutiful wife and she does not want to do anything to send him off into increasingly bizarre and unpredictable behaviors. Ed had begun to take more than the “six per day, no more no less”medication. When he felt a drop in his energy he would take more until he began to commit legal offenses to obtain more of the drug. Some will say what follows is about the risks of cortisone and similar other drugs but nothing more. It is at this point the movie becomes an uncomfortable and frightening tale of a man who has few functioning mental inhibitors. Naturally wanting the “good life” he will do anything to obtain it, but then finds the trappings of the American family are warped and malignant. He makes bizarre and strange demands or changes. Lou does her best to be a “better” wife and yet be realistic about their son. When she confides in a family friend, played by a young Walter Matthau, everything is worse but even the friend says it’s time to get Ed to a psychiatrist. Lou still refuses to allow such a thing. It would affect his career and standing in the community and she knows how upset that would make Ed.

She plants a small smile on her face as she knows Ed will always have something – out of this world – scare inducing! At this point the viewer is completely mesmerized by the mounting changes and extremes in Ed’ demands. He is taking handfuls of cortisone and assumed the aura of not just God but some even greater god! He reads the King James version of the Bible and starts to “realize” how we had failed to be perfection. So he institutes increasingly insane orders, his voice raised not quite yelling as if to be too dignified to be hollering but he makes his point as sharp as an ice pick.

James Mason gave one of the absolute finest of his performances in films! I do not exaggerate. One reason Ed is so frightening is because he is not screaming, obviously still able to think delusionally coherent. Most of the time he pronounces his judgments in an almost calm manner. His slide into psychosis is realistic, disturbing, frightening and damned uncomfortable. Acting as military/martial law despot as well as beyond God, even saying God was wrong…speaking of Abraham and Isaiah.

Mason’s Ed Avery is terrifying and even more so be cause you really don’t know how far he will go! He has already flung morals and traditional values right out, things he held in the heart. None of that matters. He is going to correct at least a few of the mistakes.

I was overwhelmed by Mason’s performance. A very rare talent indeed. This reviewer will admit to being truly afraid of what was going to happen. At this point he has already done so much in rage and intolerance can he stop himself from doing something unthinkable?

The color, light and shadow are used often and well. Mason produced the film but still in the end had to accept “cinema scope” a form of filming that tended to make everything look the same and with high gloss. However it didn’t diminish his performance! Near the beginning the audience sees young children pouring out of school and down some steps. The school, the children – everything is literally shades of gray. Then a scarf of red flows by, another spot of red here and there. It almost feels like some sort of horror film. Is this a statement about the way Americans are all trying to go for the same thing? Or is this the way Ed sees teaching and his students? Perhaps Ed see’s the whole world in such a manner. Is this a statement by the director Ray about how he looks at life?

In another scene the red’s come into importance. While on a cortisone happy manic high Ed wants his rather typically adorned wife to be brilliantly bedecked. When they shop he has Lou model more and more brash colors until she ends up wrapped in a garish red-orange monstrosity that would be overwhelming and verging on totally tacky by any woman and Lou is no different. Even towards the end his son wears an orange jacket. Is the gray used to say similarity is boring and imposed?

When Ed has one of his attacks he is seen only in shadow, the terrible agony he is wrestling with exposed by them. More than a few instances involve shadows and what this director was able to do with them to further enhance the transformation Ed goes through.

There are numerous aspects that can be taken more than one way. Was Ed having to take a second job because teachers were underpaid (and still are) or was the point more about Ed’s obsessions in the need for a second job to keep up the charade? Is the “American Dream” gray, boring and doesn’t really exist? Post WWII everyone was supposed to be happy and secure, despite the fact we had released the first “atomic bomb” which would scar the world and many people for life. Even Dresden was a horror no one should have to go through. But in America life was good, happy and half the country was building bomb shelters in their back yard.

One of the strong feelings I came away with is that the “dream is a lie”. This may have been said by others but there is no movie or even book that suddenly presents the viewer with such a clear picture (no this is not a pun).

The drug aspect came from an article by a doctor who wrote a warning about new “miracle” drugs and discussed cortisone. Ray used that aspect of drug abuse and the fact he had James Mason interested to help get more backing. It is nearly impossible to imagine anyone who sees this as a straight forward drug message.

“Bigger Than Life” is one of James Mason’s all time best and the same goes for Barbara Rush! It is not easy to pull off the “by his side wife” in real life – much more difficult was for her to make the audience feel it too.

I do have one serious complaint or concern about the film and that point only comes at the very end. Without ruining the insanity of the ending, all I can say was I didn’t like it. It was completely unlikely.

“Bigger Than Life’ is a must have movie. You will definitely watch it again but it may be a while. “Bigger Than Life” is a very serious film that really engages the mind.

Highly Recommended.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 9/10

Posted in Other Movies, Reviews |

Twisted Desires: Three Pink Masterpieces DVD Set (Zeitgeist Films)

Twisted Desires: Three Pink Masterpieces DVD Set (Zeitgeist Films)

Twisted Desires: Three Pink Masterpieces DVD Set (Zeitgeist Films)

RELEASE DATE: May 17, 2011

Named ‘the King of Nikkatsu Roman Porno,’ and ‘the most important Japanese director to emerge during the 1970s,’ filmmaker Tatsumi Kumashiro (1927 – 1995) achieved unprecedented box office as well as critical success with his cinematically lavish and narratively extravagant tales of the Tokyo underworld. This three-disc box set includes remastered editions of Kumashiro’s 1970s Nikkatsu classics SAYURI ICHIJO: FOLLOWING DESIRE (1972), YAKUZA JUSTICE: EROTIC CODE OF HONOR (1973) and TWISTED PATH OF LOVE (1973).

Click here for more details.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |