Cat vs. Rat (1982) Review

"Cat vs. Rat" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Cat vs. Rat” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Cat Versus Rat
Director: Lau Kar Leung
Cast: Alexander Fu Sheng, Adam Cheng, Hsiao Ho, Kara Hui Ying Hung, Lau Kar Wing, Gordon Liu, Lydia Shum, Lam Fai Wong, Johnny Wang, Lung Tien Hsiang
Running TIme: 92 min.

By JJ Hatfield

This is an unusual Shaw Brothers movie, especially considering the director was Lui Chia-Liang. The company apparently was looking at more comedy boosting the kung fu and old school films.

Cat vs. Rat is all comedy. No, it is an attempt to be a comedy. There is a shred of a plot with Alexander Fu Sheng being obsessed with proving he is the best swordsman around and his school mate and equally skilled school brother (Adam Cheng) feeling much the same (Every now and then Adam Cheng reminded me of a young David Chiang).

With a cast including Hsiao Ho (Hou), Kara Hui, Gordon Liu Chia Hui, Alexander Fu Sheng – this should have been a better movie. The Master repeatedly tells them they are exactly equally skilled, but both sides tend to engage in ridiculous lame tests/tournaments. Their entire family, the whole neighborhood is in an uproar because of their activities.

But Fu Sheng is particularly annoying. There is a talented cast ready and waiting and they should have received decent roles or better yet just not made this movie. I was going to try to look for something good to mention, but I don’t want to have to watch it again. This movie sucks.

By JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 2.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Mandingo (1975) Review

"Mandingo" American Theatrical Poster

"Mandingo" American Theatrical Poster

Director: Richard Fleischer
Writer: Kyle Onstott, Norman Wexler
Producer: Dino De Laurentiis
Cast: James Mason, Susan George, Perry King, Lillian Hayman, Richard Ward, Brenda Sykes, Ken Norton
Running Time: 127 min.

By JJ Hatfield

“Mandingo” is one of the most misunderstood movies in U.S. cinema.

The first thing the viewer needs to know is that this is not an xploitation flick, at least not in the common usage. It is not a wild group sex romp between slaves and the people that own them. It sure as hell is not camp! If you genuinely think there is one single thing that is amusing in this film you have a problem. Most viewers literally did not know what they were about to see and nervous hesitant giggles resulted. Once people realize this is a whole different world they are going to they tend to be stunned and dazed.

James Mason plays Warren Maxwell, the Master of the plantation in the deep south. Warren is getting older and wants his son Hammond to settle down and run the plantation. The estate is beginning to look a little shabby however his son, Hammond Mawell (Perry King) has ideas about how to make things better. His father is more concerned about him getting married and having grandsons. At times he expresses doubt that his son Hammond has what it takes to run the plantation and that he is too soft.

Hammond and his father travel to a big slave auction in New Orleans to look for a “Mandingo” a direct offspring of a slave who was known for producing strong, healthy children. Finally Hammond has bought himself a certified “Mandingo”. It’s a big day for him, a real “Mandingo”! Never do any of the characters, including slaves being sold in front of huge crowds act as if there is anything wrong or abnormal about their activities. Typical behavior in the 1840‘s. Most of the slaves were showing off their strengths or prettiness enough for hopefully a decent master that won’t hurt them too much. Hammond intends to start a fight enterprise with the slaves being pitted against one another.

Hammond returns with quite a bit he didn’t have when he left home, including a couple of slaves and a wife. Hammonds new bride Blanche (Susan George) has a few secrets and he expects her to accept his “bed wenches”. Blanche doesn’t have much screen time but she goes all out when the camera is fixed on her. There is sex involved as part of the story with several different pairings and brief nudity but the focus is not on sex scenes but rather the changes that one man goes through and how his feelings and behavior deteriorate as the situation becomes more complex. As the story progresses it narrows the focus to the primary characters creating the feeling of claustrophobia as complications and repercussions begin to mount. There will be no happy ending tacked onto such a serious film, nor should there be.

Many slave owners espoused the belief that treatment of blacks was like treatment of an animal. They truly believed they were not human, but a kind of sub-class of humans with no souls. Most masters forbid any reading including the Bible and prohibited education as well. However I have never been able to believe that self serving excuse! Everyone involved with the slave trade knew exactly what happens. No matter what is status quo everyone knows right and wrong. I think it was simply a way of avoiding the hard facts that they bought a human being to be purposely treated like livestock. Probably made them sleep a little better. What am I saying? I’m sure they slept well every night.

The director Richard Fleischer does not shy away from the reality of slavery nor does he have the cast bemoaning how awful it is to live as a slave and does not become preachy. The film very subtly pulls the viewer into the story. It’s all there and too insistent to ignore. Slavery (and all that goes with it) was a despicable, disgusting, shameful part of history. It was also a very good way to cut expenses and increase revenue but that’s a different topic. Unfortunately we still have criminals trafficking in humans all over the planet, however the specifics have changed a lot. The entire cast did an excellent and believable performance, full of the little things that can mean so much. Perry King was truly exceptional in his role. I hesitate to give out any more specifics as they can become spoilers.

Ken Norton as the slave“Mede” was just okay but then he didn’t have a lot of exposition. There are still people who believe a number of the slaves in the U.S. were treated well. That was not the case. Besides I think people didn’t want to believe they were condoning something bad. Yes it is/was something very bad! Robbing someone of their freedom is up there with killing them. Considering the subject there is no way to avoid the various acts of violence from taking young infants from their mother to raping slave virgins to selling off slaves relatives. There is vicious savagery near the end of the film that surprised even me. The degree of sadistic barbarism suddenly takes a really nasty turn. Enough to turn your stomach as well. Kyle Onstott wrote the novel that was the basis for “Mandingo”.

The movie was filmed in Geismer, Louisiana.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 8/10 (A Must See For Everyone!)

Posted in Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , |

Rashomon (1950) Review

"Rashomon" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Rashomon" Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: In the Wood
Director: Akira Kurosawa
Producer: Jingo Minoura
Cast: Toshiro Mifune, Machiko Kyo, Masayuki Mori, Takashi Shimura, Minoru Chiaki, Kichijiro Ueda, Fumiko Honma
Running Time: 88 min.

By Alexander

The Good: I’ve never been as captivated by the cinematography of a black and white film as I was with this one. There are only three locales in the entire movie, yet each (particularly the rain-ravaged temple ruins) are perfectly lit and shot. The rain and dust and wind and the rare rays of the sun practically leap from the screen, no small feat considering the director’s/cinematographer’s palatte was “limited” to blacks, whites and various shades of gray. Also good: Kurosawa’s adaptation of a tale of murder and rape and the conflicting stories that follow is brilliant. Rashomon’s plot has been imitated countless times, yet never expressed as deftly and passionately.

The Bad: I know I’m supposed to like Rashomon. I mean, it’s directed by KUROSAWA. It has WEIGHTY themes, it’s BEAUTIFULLY shot and it has spawned dozens (if not hundreds) of imitators. Hell, it’s one of the best reviewed films OF ALL TIME. But so is Godfather, which bored me. Ditto for Citizen Kane. Despite the 88 minute running time Rashomon seemed a good half hour to an hour longer because of some unecessarily lengthy scenes (notably the frenzied and seemingly improvised-on-the-spot sword fight). At 60 to 70 minutes, this would have been taut and far more enjoyable, but I found myself growing bored — and then agitated — at the lingering shots of character faces and needlessly drawn-out duels.

The Ugly: The medium. Jesus, she’s hideous. I was expecting passion and drama, not HORROR. She’s like the precursor and inspiration for all those fucked-up, herky-jerky, blank-faced and pale “ghosts” or whatever they are in films like The Grudge and Ju-On. Also ugly: I took a course on the art and architecture of Japan in college, but I didn’t realize that the eyebrow-less women in Japanese art reflected an actual eyebrows plucked-bare look. Disconcerting. A mild bias, but it was jarring seeing the women characters with smudges of black on their foreheads instead of… well, eyebrows.

Alexander’s Rating: 7.5/10


By Shaolin Lord

Alfred Hitchcock once said that the perfection of his cinematic achievement in terms of reducing all that is unimportant and emphasizing on suspense would be a movie taking place in a phone booth with only two protagonists inside. This one here comes quite close.

If you start watching Akira Kurosawa’s movies, this is the one to begin with. It’s like nothing you have ever seen – not concentrating on fights like the majority of pre-80s Asian cinema, for example. This movie is totally psychological – forcing the viewer to speculate – due to the lack of proven facts. Having only a handful of characters to concentrate on, Kurosawa achieves the maximum amount of story development you could possibly have imagined.

The movie shows three main sceneries: the abandoned and ruined temple Rashomon, the woods nearby which bear the tale of the gruesome murder and the courthouse, where the witnesses are testified. You get the story told by the woodcutter (one of the three who seek refuge from the bad weather), the Samurai that has been killed (using a medium to let his soul speak), the killed man’s wife and the bandit Tajomaru, who is accused of the murder. The point of view changes in every story, thus letting lies enter each tale, making the development of the movie the more interesting to the viewer. The only clear fact seems to be the Samurai being dead. Apart from that, everything differs in the told stories, and it’s up the audience to decide which one is true.

Kurosawa does not need more than that to get his story moving. Plus, with Mifune as the bandit, what could ever go wrong? It is a poem, a very visual film with not much of a dialogue. His 1950-style special effects are completely delivered through camera-work, the visual effects showing the rain (which, by the way, looks like the definition of rain!!), the dashing trough the woods and the scenes being half covered by leafs are just superb. What makes this film so special are the multiple plot twists in the 4 told stories, the reception of the audience being the 5th tale, trying to filter the facts from the lies. In the end, the truth is not revealed, or at least seems to be hidden still, the message maybe the fact that to lie is human, or that every perception is different from person to person, or that people involved in an uncomfortable matter tend to try to alter the opinions of others.

It’s up to you to decide – if anything, it makes this movie even more of an outstanding one. Rashomon will get nothing but love from me, scoring a perfect ten.

Shaolin Lord’s Rating: 10/10

Posted in All, Japanese, News, Reviews | Tagged , |

Muay Thai Giant | aka Somtum (2008) Review

"Muay Thai Giant" Thai Theatrical Poster

“Muay Thai Giant” Thai Theatrical Poster

Director: Nonthakorn Thaveesuk
Cast: Nathan Jones, Nawarat Techaratanaprasert, Sasisa Jindamanee, Chupong Changprung
Running Time: 99 min.

By HKFanatic

“Somtum” is something of a novelty film, a Thai action movie that I suspect a lot of people are either going to love or think is the corniest thing ever. Personally, I got a kick out of this movie. It’s the first headlining vehicle for Nathan Jones, a guy that you’ve probably seen at least once if you’ve watched any action flick in the past 20 years. He’s the 6’11” giant of a man who attacked Jackie Chan in his Australian apartment in “Police Story 4: First Strike”; rammed into Tony Jaa Juggernaut-style in “Tom Yum Goon”; and fought Jet Li in a wrestling ring in “Fearless.” Oh yeah, he was also quickly defeated by Brad Pitt in the opening scenes of “Troy,” but I’m pretty sure in a real fight Nathan Jones would turn Brad Pitt into glue paste.

In “Somtum,” Nathan Jones plays up the image of a “gentle giant”; he’s a non-violent, peace-loving Australian guy on vacation in Thailand. Shortly after arriving, he’s fed with drinks by a lovely local until he passes out. The next day, he wakes up with barely any clothes and, worse yet, his passport stolen. On the hunt for his missing papers, he runs into and befriends two young local sisters. Back at their mom’s restaurant, Jones samples the local Thai dish of the title, somtum, which looks to my Western eyes like a chopped salad with a ton of hot peppers tossed in. Upon eating it, Nathan turns into a red-tinted Hulk who can’t control his actions. He destroys the restaurant (not hard to do, since it’s basically a shanty) and finds his stay in Thailand further extended as a result: now not only does he have to locate his passport, he has to raise enough money to help rebuild the restaurant.

This simple set-up gives way to plenty of fun action scenes. Despite the American title of “Muay Thai Giant,” Nathan’s character a bit of a wuss who doesn’t like to fight, so expect to see him take more punches than he gives. The real star here is Sasisa Jindamanee, a junior national champion in Thai kickboxing who also starred in “Power Kids.” Despite her young age and petite frame, she is a true force to be reckoned with. She has plenty of great fights in and out of the ring, and her flying knee and elbow attacks keep the action quotient up for most of the film’s runtime. If anyone is looking for the next “Chocolate”-style breakout female action star from Thailand, my vote is definitely for Sasisa!

It’s only during the last 20 minutes that audiences get to see what they probably rented the movie for, and that’s Nathan Jones on a rampage. Thankfully, the climax of the movie does not disappoint. Jones is fed some more more somtum and turns into a rage-fueled monster. He fights two or three guys who are almost as big as himself in a knockout, drag-out fight. They suplex each other into truckbeds, whack each other with oil drums, and just generally dish out more punishment and pain than any real human being would be able to survive. Watch them crash through walls, strangle  and electrocute each other, and just keep on fighting. It’s almost like the old-school beat-em-up arcade game “Final Fight” brought to life. As long as you can suspend your disbelief, it’s a hell of a good time.

Also be on the lookout for an extended cameo and fight scene by Dan Chupong of “Dynamite Warrior” and “Born to Fight” fame. Beyond the admittedly great fight scenes, what makes “Somtum” endearing is the bond that Jones forms with Sassia and her sister. Some people may find that these scenes go on for too long (one scene of the two sisters crying on the beach does get pretty melodramatic), but it was nice to watch a Thai martial arts flick that actually cared enough to develop the characters and their relationships.

At the risk of sounding like a cheesy quote you’d read on the DVD box, “Somtum” has plenty of action, laughs, and heart to spare. It’s one of my favorite Thai flicks and proof there’s life beyond “Ong Bak.” Although the violence is hard-hitting and “R” rated, for once there’s no sexual content at all. Well, except for a scene where Nathan Jones has a waking nightmare about him being a go-go dancer. That I’m trying to forget about!

HKFanatic’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , , , |

Vengeance | aka Ekdikisi (2006) Review

"Vengeance" Chinese DVD Cover

"Vengeance" Chinese DVD Cover

AKA: Phairii Phinaat Paa Mawrana
Director: Pleo Sirisuwan
Cast: Nattanun Jantarawetch, Chalad Na Songkhla, Sorachai Sang-aakaat, Watchara Tangkaprasert, Nattaree Wiboonlert, Chirapat Wongpaisanlux
Running Time: 90 min.

By HKFanatic

“Vengeance” is a slick, commercial flick from Thailand with a decent plot hook: some dangerous bandits have escaped from prison (though we never actually see their big breakout) and headed into a mystical forest. A steely-eyed cop with a dark past is hot on their trail, along with his cadre of fellow policemen and a few locals who know the area.

Note to self: do not wander into the Thai jungle. If so, you put yourself at the risk of flesh-eating tiger wasps, killer Dwarf Caiman Crocodiles, seductive Fruit Maidens who will steal your soul mid-coitus, giant snakes that could eat an Anaconda for breakfast, and a whole village of people who aren’t so friendly during a full moon. Yeah, “Vengeance” is basically 90 minutes of silly, Thai-language fun. It’s not the fastest-paced film and the special FX are a bit “Sci-Fi Channel Movie,” but it’s got a certain charm to it, like a hot piece of pizza while you’re suffering a hangover.

Thailand has made a splash in recent years with their incredible martial arts movies, but this isn’t one of those. So despite some gunfights early on, don’t expect much one-on-one combat. “Vengeance” is more like an R-rated version of those Brendan Fraser “Mummy” movies from the 90’s, transported to the Thai jungle. There’s plenty of humor but I’m not sure how much of it was intentional on the part of the filmmakers. Some last minute plot twists are pretty crazy and give the whole movie this weird, cyclical ending that could be interpreted as Buddhist in philosophy.

Then again, I wouldn’t recommend that anyone think that hard about “Vengeance” (let alone about why it has that title). It’s a movie for people who would rather waste an evening watching a gonzo foreign b-movie over your typical Hollywood flick. Enter the jungle at your own risk.

HKFanatic’s Rating: The performance of the CG killer baby crocs: 10/10, the actual film: 5.5/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , |

Sanctuary, The | aka The Warrior’s Path (2009) Review

"The Sanctuary" Thai Theatrical Poster

"The Sanctuary" Thai Theatrical Poster

AKA: Sam Pan Boke
Director: Thanapon Maliwan
Writer: Thanapon Maliwan, Anuwat Kaewsopark
Cast: Michael B., Russell Wong, Intira Jaroenpura, Patharawarin Timkul, Erik Markus Schuetz, Winston Sefu, Lak-Khet Waslikachart
Running TIme: 86 min.

By HKFanatic

As a stuntman for Tony Jaa (“Ong Bak”), Mike B. probably had to learn to take a few hits. Unfortunately, he brings that same philosophy to his own starring vehicle, the Thai martial arts flick “The Sanctuary.” This movie is literally 86 minutes of Mike B. being treated like a human punching bag.

The plot follows a similar formula to “Ong Bak”: some ancient Thai antiques are stolen from the monastery near Mike B.’s workplace by Russell Wong (yes, Russell Wong of “Romeo Must Die” fame!) and of course Mike is the only one who can get them back. Too bad every bad guy that he runs into kicks his ass.

One of the antiques Mike recovers is a mystical amulet which promises to teach him he secrets of Thai boxing, but it never really works. Mike B. gets his ass handed to him before and after peering into the amulet’s secrets. I was having flashbacks to those old Van Damme movies like “Kickboxer” and “Lionheart” where the main villain would beat on Van Damme for twenty minutes until JCVD turned things around and won the fight with a few well-placed spin kicks. But Mike B. doesn’t even have any spin kicks. It’s a shame – if Mike had put up just a little bit of a fight, this could have been a satisfying martial arts movie.

At least Mike wisely populates his movie with a host of colorful bad guys. Russell Wong’s three henchman are a joy to watch – one of them is this ladyboy-in-training who fights like he’s doing an exaggerated pantomime of Catwoman. Another guy looks like he stepped out of the Hitler Youth and his long legs can kick like nobody’s business. Lastly, there’s a dude who looks like he should be in a SoCal metal band but he’s just an all around great Muay Tha fighter. These three guys are fun to watch and excellent at martial arts – basically, the opposite of Mike B. “The Sanctuary” is almost worth renting just to see them in action. I promise action junkies won’t forget about them anytime soon.

The rest of the movie is fairly forgettable, though I was entertained by the cheesy “Engrish” dialogue and the various ‘plot twists’ that occurred. The opening scene is actually set during the 1890’s and features one of Mike B.’s ancestors, who is about a hundred times more bad-ass than him. This sequence is far bloodier than the rest of the movie and a lot of fun. If there are any Russell Wong fans out there (anybody?), you can be rest assured that the actor is still pretty tough in his middle-age. During the finale, he puts the hurt on Mike B. and nearly drowns the poor bastard.

If there’s any consolation, it’s that “The Sanctuary” is far better than Mike B.’s 2007 debut “Brave,” which had the most pedestrian fights and stunts I’ve ever seen captured on film. But at the end of the day, nobody wants to see their hero get the crap kicked out of him, to never once gain the upper hand. Mike B. is sort of like the polar opposite of Donnie Yen or Steven Seagal, who rarely, if ever, let an opponent land a blow on them. I guess “The Sanctuary” is proof that you can actually make an action movie by hiring other, better martial artists to beat you up for 90 minutes.

HKFanatic’s Rating: 5.5/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , |

Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection: Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque (Shout!)

Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection: Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque (Shout!)

Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection: Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque (Shout!)

RELEASE DATE: September 27, 2011

Shout! presents another chapter in Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Collection. This time the Vampires, Mummies and Monsters DVD Collection, which contains Lady Frankenstein, Time Walker, The Velvet Vampire & Grotesque.

Trailers/Clips: Lady Frankenstein | Time Walker | The Velvet Vampire | Grotesque

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

God of Gamblers Returns (1994) Review

"God of Gamblers Returns" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“God of Gamblers Returns” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: God of Gamblers 2
Director: Wong Jing
Producer: Charles Heung, Wong Jing, Jimmy Heung
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Tony Leung Ka Fai, Jacqueline Wu Chien Lien, Chingmy Yau, Elvis Tsui Kam Kong, Charles Heung, Tse Miu, Blacky Ko Sau Leung, Ken Lo, Baau Hon Lam, Bobby Yip Kin Sang, Yuen Bun
Running Time: 125 min.

By Numskull

Saying that Wong Jing has consistency is like saying “Miramax has integrity” or “Mei Ah has quality control”; a blatant lie. Wong Jing is consistent in only one thing: his inconsistency. As far as I’m concerned, this man is almost single-handedly responsible for the widely-held (and not entirely inaccurate) belief that Hong Kong films often fail to maintain a coherent tone. In this movie’s opening scenes, Ko Chun’s wife gets cut open and his unborn son is removed and placed in a jar like a lab specimen (the delicious irony being that the perpetrator is pissed off about not being given control of a childrens’ charity fund). With her last breath (getting ripped open and losing about half of her blood doesn’t seem to hurt her in the slightest; she just sounds sleepy), she makes her husband promise not to gamble with anyone or to reveal his identity as the God of Gamblers for one year. Why? Alas, she dies before giving any sensible explanation. I’m sure that Wong Jing came up with a very solid and logical reason for this, but decided not to put it in the finished film. I’m also sure that the Loch Ness Monster lives in the apartment above mine and sells rare baseball cards on eBay to earn money to support his glue-sniffing habit.

From there, Ko Chun is thrown into a variety of ridiculous situations ranging from shootouts pilfered from John Woo’s leftovers to ethnocentric comic relief that will go right over the heads of most Westerners (or, perhaps I’m giving it too much credit and it really isn’t funny no matter where you’re from). Ko Chun hooks up with a dead gangster’s kid, his ass-kicking sister (Chingmy Yau at her most boner-inducing), a buffoonish cop, and a pair of con artists. The evil gambler this time is Chau Siu-Chee, who is led to believe that Little Trumpet (Tony Leung Ka Fai’s character) is the real God of Gamblers, but is not the least bit surprised to find himself opposite Chow Yun-Fat when it’s time for the big card game a year after he killed his wife and kid. Oh yeah, and there’s a guy with psychic powers who can read minds, change playing cards, and set peoples’ hats on fire. And, speaking of fire, how about the scene where a building gets blown up, then the cops immediately go in and there’s no fire or smoke or wreckage anywhere in sight?

I think by now you get the idea; this movie is full of holes and is about as even as the number 13. Its predecessor was pretty good (the portions of it that Mei Ah saw fit to let us see, anyway), but, since this IS Wong Jing we’re dealing with here, it comes as no surprise that lightning did not strike twice.

Miramax owns the North American distribution rights for this film. If and when they release it, they will probably replace the image of the preserved fetus with a jar of pickles. “Chau Siu-Chee!”, the guy doing Ko Chun’s voice will say. “You killed my wife and broke the seal on my pickles! I had to eat them all by myself before they went bad! My urine was green for a week! Now I will get my revenge!”

Which would ALMOST be an improvement.

Numskull’s Rating: 4/10


By Vic Nguyen

Hong Kong’s top box office attraction in 1994, Wong Jing’s absurdly uneven sequel to his 1989 hit is nonetheless highly entertaining, and a must for newbies to the gambling flick genre. As per usual with a Wong Jing production, the film reeks of inconsistency, going from violent revenge flick to screwball slapstick at any given time. Chow Yun-fat (in the “fat Elvis” stage of his career) handles these abrupt shifts in tone with relative ease, switching from brooding intensity to charming grin at a moments notice. In addition, the all star cast, including Tony Leung Kar-fai (whenever he and Chow are onscreen together, you can’t help but think of Prison on Fire), Wu Chien-lin (a multi-talented performer; see her demented killer role in Intruder), and Chingmy Yau Suk-ching (star of the highly overrated Naked Killer), handle themselves well amidst the carnival-like atmosphere. With plenty of gunplay, violence, juvenile humor, and gambling, God of Gamblers Return is sure to have something for everyone, and is definitely worth a look.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 7.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

God of Gamblers (1989) Review

"God of Gamblers" Japanese DVD Cover

“God of Gamblers” Japanese DVD Cover

Director: Wong Jing
Cast: Chow Yun Fat, Andy Lau Tak-Wah, Joey Wong, Sharla Cheung Man, Charles Heung, Ronald Wong Pan, Jimmy Lee Fong, Shing Fui On, Yeung Chak Lam
Running Time: 125 min.

By Numskull

This highly revered Chow Yun-Fat vehicle is credited as the inspiration for a host of gambling-themed films in much the same way as Corey Yuen’s Yes, Madam! kick-started the “girls with guns” genre and Ricky Lau’s Mr. Vampire is (rightly) considered the “showcase” Chinese superstition-based comedy. I can’t say it blew me away since the gambling premise is one that I neither know nor care much about, but it’s certainly a solid, well-crafted film…and, with Wong Jing in the director’s chair, that is a minor miracle.

Chow Yun-Fat turns in an even better performance than usual as Ko Chun, an incredibly smooth, chocolate-loving gambling genius who, after suffering a head injury thanks to a trap set for a homosexual Indian man (don’t ask), becomes a slow-witted simpleton with partial memory loss, essentially playing two characters in the same film. Less impressive is Andy Lau as Knife, a hot-headed man of dubious morality who tries to use Ko Chun (now known as Chocolate) and his latent gambling skills to clear his debts and amass a fortune for himself, his long-legged girlfriend Jane (Joey Wang), and his chum Crawl (Ronald Wong), who bears an uncanny resemblance to Steve Buscemi. Chocolate’s witlessness leads to a few difficult situations for Knife; some comical (Chocolate imitating the gasps heard in a whorehouse), some dramatic (Knife abandoning his puppet until guilt and compassion get the better of him), and some a mixture of both (oh, THERE’S Chocolate; he just went to buy some Mickey Mouse balloons. No wonder Disney bought the rights to this one).

Meanwhile, back on the homefront, Janet (Man Cheung) anxiously awaits the return of her beloved Ko Chun while his former friend Yee (Fong Lung) sets his sights on her. Also, a fateful game with an aging crime lord named Chan draws ever closer, and Ko Chun’s assigned bodyguard, Mr. Dragon, wonders where the hell his protectee has vanished to. One of the film’s storytelling flaws is that these elements get placed on the back burner for too long while the spotlight falls on Knife and his moneymaking schemes. There’s also an out-of-place shootout where Chow Yun-Fat suddenly becomes one of his John Woo characters and, despite all the hubbub, no cops show up. However, when our hero staggers out of the building and falls to the pavement a minute later, lo and behold, there’s a fine, upstanding officer of the law right there quick as a wink to disperse the crowd that gathers around him.

Minor stuff, this. It’s a good movie. Just not anything I’d sell a kidney for.

The version I watched was a horrendous full-frame DVD from Mei Ah where the imbedded subtitles frequently got chopped off at the bottom of the screen. It brought back not-so-fond memories of those pre-DVD days when Tai Seng turned countless people off of Hong Kong cinema by doing this shit with their video tapes and charging outrageous prices for them. Even worse, Mei Ah apparently cut out about 20 minutes or so for no apparent reason; a few of my comments, therefore, are admittedly suspect. (Now, let’s see how much more fucked up the Buena Vista version is, assuming they ever release it.)

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10


By Vic Nguyen

Commercial filmmaker Wong Jing directed this box office smash in which literally launched a franchise, with numerous sequels and ripoffs soon to follow. Chow Yun-fat, giving a terrific performance, stars as Do Sun, aka, the God of Gamblers. Following an accident which leaves him with the mentality of a child, he is taken under the wing of a poor wannabe con-artist, played by pop singer Andy Lau. Plenty of hilarious comedy, highlighted by some inventive gambling and stunt-riddled shootouts makes God of Gamblers one of Wong Jing’s best films to date.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen (2010) Review

"Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen" Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

“Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen” Hong Kong Theatrical Poster

Director: Andrew Lau
Cast: Donnie Yen, Shu Qi, Anthony Wong, Huang Bo, Kohata Ryu, Yasuaki Kurata, Zhou Yang, Huo Siyan, Shawn Yue, Ma Yue, Ma Su, Chen Jiajia
Running Time: 106 min.

By HKFanatic

The premise for “Legend of the Fist” sounds like a surefire hit: Donnie Yen (he’s so hot right now!) teams up with “Infernal Affairs” director Andrew Lau to return to the role of Chen Zhen, which was previously made famous by Bruce Lee in “Fist of Fury,” Jet Li in “Fist of Legend,” and Donnie himself in a 90’s Hong Kong TV show. What could go wrong?

Well, stylistically, this film is a bit all over the place. The opening scenes are set during World War I, where director Andrew Lau channels the desaturated look of many modern war movies like “Saving Private Ryan” and Donnie Yen engages in some brutal, bloody action. Seriously, once you see what Donnie does to some German soldiers with two bayonets, you’ll never look at war the same way again. I’ve already heard some reviewers say that the opening ten minutes, with its barrage of explosions and extreme blood-letting in a unique WWI locale, sets the bar for action so high that the rest of the film is a letdown.

The film soon leaves the trenches behind and makes the abrupt shift to the lavish, neon-lit world of 1930’s Shanghai, where the Japanese military are planning a slow takeover of China. The only one who can stop them? Chen Zhen, who sometimes finds it appropriate to don a Kato-like mask in order to protect his civilian identity as he fights to end the Japanese terror campaign. This is where the film struggles to find its own identity; political and war-time intrigue makes for odd bedfellows with costumed superheroics. The heavy blue tones of the cinematography, as well as the blend of street-level violence (streetcar bombings, assassinations) with a crime-fighting masked avenger, seem to purposefully evoke the feel of Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight.” Though be warned, the violence here is definitely in the “R” rated territory.

In the midst of all this plot (and there is quite a bit for an action movie), we have Donnie Yen kicking butt in jaw-droppingly choreographed fight scenes. There aren’t a ton of fight scenes, per se, but you get at least three setpieces where Donnie gets to show his stuff and pay homage to Bruce Lee. Elsewhere we have Shu Qi doing her best in a rather thankless role; Anthony Wong being his usual, cool self; and an over-the-top anti-Japanese sentiment that actually manages to eclipse Donnie Yen’s own Nippon-hating “Ip Man.”

If I have one serious complaint with the story it’s that the Japanese are portrayed as so evil, and get away with so much murder and bloodshed, that you never really feel like the hero wins, regardless of the film’s obvious “good vs. evil” pretensions. Similar to the damage the Joker wrecks in the aforementioned Batman film, we’re left with a Pyrrhic victory at most for our protagonist. For all its slick lighting and heroic music, this movie is kind of a downer. Not even the promise of a sequel with more Donnie Yen action can take away from that.

From reading message boards and comments online, I sense Western audiences are growing tired of the strong Chinese nationalism that seems to be necessary these days just to get an action movie past the Chinese censor boards. But let’s be honest: if all you want to see is a 47-and-still-fit-as-hell Donnie Yen kick ass in a Kato mask, then this is your movie. “The Return of Chen Zhen” is an uneven blockbuster that never lets up on the spectacle, even if it lets the viewer down from a story perspective.

HKFanatic’s Rating: 8.5/10


By JJ Hatfield

Chen Zhen is back in Shanghai in this movie that should be considered a continuation technically, but it is also a piece of sequel. Seven years after his “death” he disguises himself and intends to infiltrate the Japanese as well as find a very important list. He spends his nights fighting crime too. During the war Chen Zhen saves just about everyone, with the exception being all the enemy soldiers he manages to disassemble. After his return to Shanghai he begins his intense effort to infiltrate a group of the Japanese occupation. He continues to fight crime – usually in the form of ripping the heads off of Japanese occupiers.

The audience understands Chen Zhen hates the evil Japanese villains and he is going to brutally take out as many of the enemy as possible. (1) But Chen Zhen makes certain we don’t forget he hates the f ing Japs and he is out to kill! Other than kicking ass there is a back-story regarding the son of the sensei killed in the past. He becomes the main villain along with every Japanese.

I can’t say I was impressed with anyone’s acting including Donnie. Chen Zhen has a girlfriend (I don’t know what happened to the other one). Shu Qi harbors a dark secret that could cause peril for everyone. She doesn’t have much to do in the film but look gorgeous and that she does.

Andy Lau is not known for his superb action choreography so he basically let Donnie direct his own action scenes. I’m not certain that was the best decision for the movie. Chen Zahn’s character is all about Chinese being better than Japanese, including the martial arts. I have to confess I cannot say what form Donnie was using. It sure as hell wasn’t Wing Chun, but I can’t say what is was. Several times he uses a sort of “swingy arm” loopy type moves and then just when I think ahhh now he is using Northern Fist he would do something completely different.

Perhaps the idea was to show the differences that made Chinese martial arts superior but it failed miserably. It appeared to be more of a fist fight including kicks than any particular style or school. Finesse was nowhere to be seen. The all important end fight has Chen Zhen taking on an entire Dojo of masters. It doesn’t look good for Chen Zhen. He does have (Bruce’s) nunchakus, but unfortunately Donnie just does not have the same skill.

One of the great treats in “Fist of Legend” was Li and his enemy both would adjust their techniques to match the other, a sort of constant exchange of masterful ways. There was none of that in this movie. The feeling I experienced was that Chen Zahn is better because he is Chinese and has the Chinese spirit. Why Lau felt the need for trick photography, editing and such tight shots for fights is beyond me.

Yen is a very talented guy but you could not tell that from the downright shitty filming. Donnie doesn’t need camera tricks he needs to be allowed to do what he does best. Lau apparently was simply wanting to cash in before Donnie stops making action/martial arts films. Yen has been quoted as saying when he hit fifty he would no longer make martial arts movies, thus the flurry of movies the last few years.

I was totally underwhelmed by this movie. I wasn’t expecting a great deal either. However I did expect to see Chen Zhen doing great martial arts. What you could actually see was not impressive and the “wow” scenes were shot too close, at odd angles and other Lau attempts to do something, anything different than he has done before, which leaves a lot of room. Unfortunately he settled for mediocrity and it shows.

There are a million great scripts just gathering dust but instead Lau, Yen et al went for an easy box office hook – Anything to do with Bruce Lee or even Jet Li! There are stories of heroes that were real people, no doubt exaggerated to some extent but far more intriguing and entertaining than a remakish/continuation/sequel. I considered perhaps this was an attempt at adding a little Chinese camp but it was only laziness.

“Legend Of The Fist” was a disappointment. There was really no reason to make this movie in my opinion. I have viewed this film twice and didn’t find anything to make me change my response. This film simply doesn’t rate more than three stars, possibly 3.25 but no higher. All Donnie fans will be anxious to see this but you might want to have a watch before buying. As for me I feel slightly depressed.

(1) The history between areas we now know as China and Japan is thousands of years old. Over the centuries brutality and slaughter have been practiced by both sides, just as any other countries engaged in acquiring or defending real estate, sometimes called war. Especially fresh in terms of history is WWI and WWII and the years leading up to an actual declaration. There are good people and there are evil people in every part of the world. However a movie forum is not the place for a discussion regarding philosophy of life and strategies of war. I did not erase the facts instead stayed within the character’s framework of the movie for the review.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 6/10


By Mighty Peking Man

Director Andrew Lau (The Storm Riders, Infernal Affairs) re-writes film history by making Chen Zhen (Bruce Lee) survive the blazing gunfire in the now-legendary freeze frame in 1972’s “Fist of Fury.” Not much detail is explained on how he survives, but the movie makes it obvious that the character is capable of dodging bullets.

“Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen,” which takes place after the events of “Fist of Fury,” follows Chen Zhen (now played by Donnie Yen) as he leads an underground resistance movement aimed to stop the Empire of Japan from invading China; When he goes after the bad guys, he disguises himself as a masked superhero.

Bruce Lee fans will appreciate the references to their hero (Kato costume, nunchucks, and uniforms from 1972’s Fist of Fury). There’s even direct hints that establishes this movie as a true sequel (one flashback recreates a scene from the original). So whether you like it or not, this is Fist of Fury “Part 2” and not some gay remake (like that Jet Li piece of shit everybody loves so much).

Even with all these neato Bruce Lee surprises, there’s never really a moment where I feel a magical connection. Even “New Fist of Fury” and some of those Bruce Li sequels were able to accomplish that. Way to go Andrew Lau.

The main problem with “Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen” is that it feels like one long theatrical trailer – one that never quite grabs my attention. The film just moves from one scene to another with hardly any room to breathe. About 20 minutes in, I felt unattached to everything on the screen and I stayed this way until the very end. I mean, come on… this is the star of “Ip Man” in a “Fist of Fury” sequel directed by the guy who essentially gave Martin Scorsese his best film since “Goodfellas.” There’s something seriously wrong here.

There are instances of brilliance in some of the action, thanks to Donnie Yen unleashing his fury (*cough* bring back Sammo Hung as choreographer). But overall, the outcome is uninspiring. Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot of action going on (and mind you, the lack of action isn’t the film’s problem). There’s a chunk of action in the beginning, a little here and there, then there’s the so-so grand finale (and I mean so-so). Was it me or was Donnie Yen doing his Bruce Lee imitation unintentionally silly? I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that Bruce Lee is the only guy on Earth who can use a pair of nunchucks and not come off looking like an idiot.

I have to add that “Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen” is very violent with a lot of morbid death scenes and even a torture sequence, but it all feels out of place and forced. Speaking of that torture scene; I don’t want to see Donnie Yen’s ass, I want to see him kick ass. Who the hell does he think he is, Daniel Craig?

The film also stars Anthony Wong (who looks like he wishes he starred in “Ip Man” instead) and Shu Qi (didn’t we get sick of her 10 years ago?) who spends the majority of her screen time acting tipsy. As far as the actors who play the Japanese baddies, they suck and have no charisma at all.

I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer Chen Zhen dead.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 5.5/10

Posted in Bruceploitation, Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Thirst (2009) Review

"Thirst" Korean Theatrical Poster (Banned)

“Thirst” Korean Theatrical Poster (Banned)

Director: Park Chan-wook
Producer: Park Chan-wook
Cast: Song Kang-Ho, Kim Ok-Vin, Shin Ha-Kyun, Kim Hae-Sook, Park In-Hwan, Song Young-Chang
Running Time: 134/145 min.

By JJ Hatfield

When I first heard of this film, it was presented as a vampire movie. The last thing I felt the world needed was yet another vampire (or zombie) flick. However, knowing that Song Kang-ho was the lead role and the director was Park Chan-wook, I had to see it. Park is very skilled in taking your mind places you wouldn’t ordinarily go.

The film begins at a hospital in Africa where young Roman Catholic priest named Sang-hyun (Song Kang-ho) ministers to the ill and dying. He sometimes feels that the world will never change for the better. He has taken his vows to heart and soul, but sometimes has doubts. Sang-hyun is a very serious and softly silent man. In order to try and help more people, this selfless compassionate priest has so much good will to share, that he volunteers for an experimental vaccine to prevent a fatal illness, knowing it could cost him his life. He is a good candidate because the virus seems to be more common in Caucasians and Asians. Sang-hyun is thoroughly aware of the risks, but he lives to serve the people he can help. How much greater love could anyone have for mankind than to risk their life to potentially save others?

Unfortunately, the priest’s body is eventually overwhelmed and he begins to hemorrhage faster than they can replace his blood. After frantically trying to save him, the cardiac monitor shows flatline. Then, to the medical team’s great astonishment, the monitor suddenly shows his heart beating! He is very much alive. Unknown to anyone, what brought him back was vampire blood, that was unknowingly given to the priest. After people hear of his miraculous recovery many believe he has special powers to heal. He is thus far the only survivor, but he is still infected with the virus.

He feels different. He is different. Desires he never imagined fill his mind. He continues to work at the hospital, but now, it is so he has access to blood. Without more blood, the symptoms begin to reappear. How could such a humanitarian be blamed for receiving vampire tainted blood? He doesn’t panic. Nor does he run about screaming they fix him, or cure him. In his same quiet manner, he accepts what has happened and tries to keep anyone from knowing he is no longer the same man. He doesn’t attack strangers and rip out their jugular with his fangs or hack up victims for dinner. His open access to the hospital provides him with the blood he needs, usually by slurping up some unconscious patients blood bag. When I say slurping, I do mean just that. Making slurping, smacking lips, sucking noises. These scenes make the character seem to take it in stride now that he will always need blood and his main concern becomes how to conveniently arrange for it. He knows things can never go back to the way they were.

His vow of chastity as a Roman Catholic priest is fading rapidly, as the vampire blood awakens carnal, physical desires of the flesh. Sang-hyun finds himself in lust/obsession/love with the young wife Tae-joo (Kim Ok-vin,) of an old friend.

He feels obligated to rescue her from her abusive husband and his mother. Before long he realizes he loves her and she seems to love him as well, even though he tells her he is a vampire. She actually seems to find that exciting, but then she finds virtually anything wild and new exciting. Especially sex. Sang-hyun has to exert great control over the vampire – ness and tries to harm her as little as possible, but before long, everything is drenched in blood.

It is interesting watching the priest’s descent into all things vampire. On a more emotional level, it is terryfying.

Some of the old stories were apparently true and others were not. He does have to stay out of the sun, but he did not grow huge fangs and go on a slaughter spree. Song Kang-ho performs perfectly, from the heroic young priest trying to find meaning in a world full of evil, to being perilously close to evil himself.

If it is not yet obvious, this is not exactly your basic horror film. The frightening aspect has far more to do with the priest losing himself, and the compassionate man he once was. Part of that includes some extremely dark humor. Some promos use the term comedy, but I don’t think that does the film and the cast justice, nor does it give an accurate impression. In my experience, it is more difficult to pull off dark humor than straight comedy. Tae-joo seems to actually enjoy her barely controlled lover, no matter how bizarre the scene gets. And there are some rather bizarre scenes.

Much of the film’s believability laid squarely on the shoulders of Song Kang-ho and to his great credit, he does a fantastic job! I found him very believable as the self sacrificing priest, and as he succumbs even further into a world of darkness.

One of the issues about vampire movies is the usual absence of responsibility or morals or even repercussions for actions. This film takes on those questions, however, not to the detriment of the story line or the pacing.

“Thirst” is a very fascinating film on several levels, and not just as excellent entertainment. There are several aspects that could be interpreted in different ways. When something unforseen and unbidden happens to someone, do they bear any responsibility for their actions? Or are they merely victims of a greater evil?

The cinematography was directed by Chung Chung-hoon. Some of the scenes replaced exposition that might have dragged the dialogue down. The camera work plays a large role in establishing Sang-hyun as a devout faithful, devoted priest. Kang-ho is an amazing actor. Every role I have seen him play has been different and called on him to hone his skills to the point the man can do any role! I found his performance, as he changed into what he used to pray against, excellent and very believable in his character.

Cho Young-ook wrote the original music score. It supports the film but is not a driving force.

Park Chan-wook has openly stated his inspiration is from “Therese Raquin,” an 1867 French novel by Emile Zola. It was made into a film by Marcel Carne in 1953, with Simone Signoret and Raf Vallone. Park could have claimed the inspiration was his own, but to his credit, he has been open about it from the beginning. If he had not told people, I really don’t know if there is anyone that would have made a connection. The novel does not have any vampires, nor priests for that matter, but I believe his motivation was based on the characters and how they too changed.

“Thirst” is much more than a vampire movie. It is at times frightening, blood-drenched, insanely sexual, gross, grim and nauseating for some; with dark humor in abundance, but I encourage the viewer to look deeper. Park Chan-wook is a complex film maker. “Thirst” has more layers than the most obvious one. After excessiveness to the nth degree of being human, is there a possible way of return? Does the need for something justify any means? Even if another life is now infected? Is redemption an illusion? There are more than a few issues raised in this film, and to his credit, Park does not give you a tidy answer. There are some things that are not easily labeled right or wrong. Damned good film!

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 9/10 


By NIngen

Thirst is about a priest who becomes the participant of some weird experiment, because he believes it will help dying patients. Unfortunately, Father Sang-Hyun becomes a vampire in the process. And his desire for blood somehow gets him entangled with a family he was acquainted with as a child. The adopted daughter in the group, Tae-Ju, sleeps around on the mom’s son with the Padre, and, from there, the situation escalates.

I remember a guy on a board now long gone who was not really impressed with Oldboy, and even argued that there’s no point in remaking it, because it’s so “Hollywood”, that it’d just be cheaper to redub it in English. While I was fairly disappointed at the flick coming off a bit anti-climactic for my tastes, I was still willing to let that comment slide until Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Unfortunately, I lost track of the story around the half-way point, and it ended up being more of a torture porn flick than a revenge flick, even though revenge was a factor.

So I was hoping third time would be the charm with Thirst, since I missed out on “I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Ok” and “Mr. Vengeance”. But I have to say I’m sort of agreeing with that ex-flamer. I really don’t see anything innovative from Park Chan-Wook, other than with his flashy and bold set designs and wardrobes. His style of story-telling lacks nuance and his characters lack more distinctive personalities. [His actors do a good job with moving the story forward, but their roles are generally under-developed.]

And Thirst is no exception to PCW’s “style”. It’s basically every indie murder movie flick ever made with a vampire theme attached to it. It’s got a male lead forced to resort to criminal behavior, a femme fatale, a dysfunctional family, unsuspecting locals turned into victims, etc. In addition, half the time, I can’t even tell if the movie’s really meant to be a parody, because it’s so pedestrian in the way it (literally) goes for the jugular, rather than actually provide a new take on the genre.

For example, while there’s plenty of blood-sucking to go around, the movie cops out where it really counts-with suspenseful moments like the male of the house-hold, Kang-woo, nearly getting stabbed in his sleep by Tae-Ju. The knife she uses just gets close to his body, and then gets pulled away. And even the victims are sort of “slurped” behind closed doors. I’m not expecting Hostel or Saw-style violence, but there has to be a feeling of shock from the experience. And, unfortunately, you can predict who’s gonna be next a mile away. Maybe the details aren’t obvious, but they don’t really up the impact of the scenes.

The other issue I have is that Thirst ends up turning into a relationship flick, more than a horror flick. The viewer has to sit through a incredibly tedious soft-core sex scene, a pointless lover’s spat, and discussions on emotional issues. Seriously, it’s like watching an R-rated version of Twilight. It’s that pathetic.

But if I have anything positive to say about Thirst, it’s that the cast is very believable, in spite of being wasted. The actors don’t play the self-awareness game. Nor do they ham up their parts. They keep their scenes grounded in the reality of the setting. And their performances are the only reason that I can stand the wretched pacing of the movie.

So, if you go to see Thirst, expecting some Dead Alive/Braindead-type action, you’ll be disappointed. But if you like horror movies to take their time getting to the good stuff, while giving you a feeling of being creeped out without actually experience it on-screen, then Thirst will probably deliver for you.

Ningen’s Rating: 9/10 Sets, lighting, and outfits: 8/10 Story: 6/10 Movie in general: 5.5/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , |

The Sword with No Name aka Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

The Sword with No Name aka Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

The Sword with No Name aka Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

RELEASE DATE: September 6, 2011

Also known as Like Fireworks, Like Butterflies. In 19th-century Korea, a bounty hunter becomes the bodyguard of the queen he secretly loves. Directed by Kim Yong-Gyun (“The Red Shoes”) and starring Cho Seung-Woo (“Marathon”) and Soo-Ae (“Once in a Summer”). Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island aka Barefoot Dream, Equinox Island Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island aka Barefoot Dream, Equinox Island Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island aka Barefoot Dream, Equinox Island Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

RELEASE DATE: October 4, 2011

Higanjima is an eerie island occupied by vampires, from where none has ever come back alive. When teenager Akira hears that his missing brother has been seen in the island, he decides to investigate with several friends. Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Tajomaru: Avenging Blade Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

RELEASE DATE: September 20, 2011

“TAJOMARU is the famous ‘bandit’ of the forest from RASHOMON. Whoever kills Tajomaru inherits his name, status and sword. A royal brother leaves his kingdom to protect the princess he loves, only to find a series of harrowing adventures along the way which lead him back to where he came from, and then disinheriting his past to become the bandit TAJOMARU.” Check out the trailer here.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Mr. Vampire (1985) Review

"Mr. Vampire" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Mr. Vampire” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Ricky Lau
Producer: Sammo Hung
Cast: Lam Ching-Ying, Chin Siu Ho, Ricky Hui, Moon Lee, Pauline Wong, Yuen Wah, Billy Lau, Choi Fung-Li, Wu Ma, Yuen Wah, Anthony Chan
Running Time: 98 min.

By Numskull

I sat down to watch Mr. Vampire at least half-expecting to see a Chinese Night of the Living Dead acid-trip shitfest, and to say that I was pleasantly surprised would be a big understatement. This isn’t some cheap-ass nonsense shot on less money than it takes to buy a blow job in a red light district. It’s a highly amusing romp with style, charm, and entertainment value coming out the wazoo.

Ethnocentric Westerners, don’t let the title “Mr. Vampire” fool you…you won’t find anyone even remotely resembling Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Anne Rice’s Lestat or even Brian Lumley’s Faethor Ferenczy anywhere in this film. The title (presumably) refers to Lam Ching-Ying’s character Kou, a courageous wise man who specializes in keeping the living safe from the restless dead. At times, though, mere knowledge and bravery just aren’t enough…you need some extra hands to get the job done. That’s why the intrepid Kou has a pair of assistants named Chou and Man Chor.

Their mission, should they choose to accept it (and, by the way, they do) is to protect young Ting Ting and her dad from the undead menace of Grandpa Yam. Business as usual except for Ting Ting’s meddling cousin Wai, the world’s most spectacularly incompetent cop, who makes life (and death) more difficult for everyone involved by virtue of his very presence. His biggest concern is that one of Kou’s wards will get to marry (or at least bone) cousin Ting Ting before he will.

Speaking of boning, there’s a very nifty sub-plot in which Chou is bewitched by a female ghost and is “forced” to bone her until he can bone no more. She then seizes control of his mind and attempts to make him her slave (isn’t that just like a woman?). Meanwhile, Kou’s other assistant Man Chor has a problem of his own. He has contracted the vampire disease (for lack of a better term) and must dance barefoot on uncooked rice and then be physically restrained at all times to keep himself from joining the ranks of the undead and harming his friends. Now, tell me, which of these hapless young men would YOU rather be?

Side note: the music heard whenever the female ghost appears reminds me of that “Nick-nack-paddy-whack, give the dog a bone (there’s that word again), this old man came rolling home” song.

Anyway.

The “action” category is not well suited for this film, but Mr. Vampire is at its best during its most kinetic scenes. The sight of cousin Wai frantically scrambling this way and that to elude one of the rampaging undead predators while Kou and Chou make attempt after desperate attempt to thwart the seemingly unstoppable vampire is one that will draw many a fond chuckle from you long after the movie is over. It’s a see-and-see-again flick if ever there was one.

Now, a word of explanation about Mr. Vampire’s villainous ghoulies, so you don’t say “What in the name of hell-bent fuck am I watching?” too much during the movie. Vampires, as portrayed in this film, bear little resemblance to the nocturnal bloodsuckers that most of us are familiar with. Instead, they’re pretty much animated corpses who hop around (the ground upon which the living trod burn their feet) and attack anyone who crosses their path. They are able to locate victims by honing in on the breath of the living…witness Kou and company holding their breath to escape a horrible fate with big nasty teeth. It’s like remaining motionless so as not to get gobbled up by the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.

Some may find this film too weird or cartoony or cheesy to have any real merit. Well, fuck “some”. Mr. Vampire is a priceless gem mined from a cave of shit and, despite its age, it will stay untarnished by time for those of us who appreciate a rip-roaring fun movie.

Numskull’s Rating: 9/10


By Perkele

Easily one of the best HK comedy movies I’ve seen [only rivals being a few Stephen Chow flicks], “Mr. Vampire” is a must for everyone interested in HK cinema [or fantasy/horror cinema for general]. While the first [and best] widely recognized HK “hopping vampire” movie was of course Sammo’s magnificent “Encounters of the Spooky Kind”, “Mr. Vampire” was the movie that actually started the whole genre.

Countless spin-offs include at least 4 sequels [plus them “Mr. Vampire ’92” stuff and so on] and countless other horrendous attempts trying to cash in with the then popular “vampire” trend (hey, at least they don’t do ’em anymore).

[A beginners guide to Chinese vampires: A Chinese vampire has actually very little to do with your usual western vampire. Chinese vampires, or rather gyonshies, are corpses that for some reason haven’t had a decent burial ceremony and thereforeÉ arch, fuck it. Just go watch the movie already and you have the necessary knowledge.]

I’ll skip the plot (you HAVE to watch this the movie anyway), but let’s reveal that there are a Taoist priest (played wonderfully by Lam Ching-Ying, no wonder he got to play the same character for the rest of his life) whose main concerns are a bunch of living dead on the loose and two rather idiotic assistants Chin Siu-Ho [who falls in love with a female ghost] and Ricky Hui [who gets bitten by a gyonshi].

There’s excitement, brief martial arts encounters [involving Lam Ching-Ying & Chin Siu-Ho battling vampires (i.e. Yuen Wah)], thrills [including a flying head], magic [surprisingly there’s not-too-bad special effects] and funny [what?] comedy. The movie also looks quite good like most of the 80’s bigger-budget films.

By the way, when you see the corgeous Moon Lee in this movie (as the daughter of the rich merchant), can you believe that this chick can really FIGHT (well if you can’t it, watch the finale of “Angels II”)?

Highly recommended.

Perkele’s Rating: 8.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Golden Harvest, Martial Arts Titles, News, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , |