Human Centipede 2, The: Full Sequence (2011) Review

"The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence" American Theatrical Trailer

"The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence" American Theatrical Trailer

Director: Tom Six
Writer: Tom Six
Producer: Tom Six, Ilona Six
Cast: Laurence R. Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie, Dominic Borrelli, Vivien Bridson, Lee Harris, Peter Blankenstein, Bill Hutchens, Dan Burman, Daniel Jude Gennis, Kandace Caine, Maddi Black, Lucas Hansen, Georgia Goodrick, Emma Lock, Hugo Sampson, Tom Six
Running Time: 84/87 min.

By Laser Beahm

I’m not a huge fan of the horror genre, but I have respect for the art. Films like Eli Roth’s “Hostel” and the “Saw” franchise are good movies because they are entertaining, they have a story line that is interesting, and the films give the audience what they are looking for, without belittling the viewer. I even enjoyed the first “Human Cenetipede”. It was a new take on the genre that I hadn’t seen before. The characters were curious, and I had a vested interest in what happened to those poor, tortured people.

Tom Six’s “The Human Centipede 2, Full Sequence”, however, does not hold up to its predecessor. In fact, it is a lesson in condescension.

“The Human Centipede 2, Full Sequence” is about a mentally disabled man who develops an obsession with the first “Human Centipede” movie. It is this obsession that leads the man to create his own human centipede, by preying on innocent victims and dragging them to his warehouse which then becomes the scene for the torture these poor people endure. Peppered into the film are incest, murder, and sexual assault, all reasons Martin, the main character, begins to act out. While all of these lurid elements would seemingly mix together to make an enjoyable horror movie, instead the audience is left with the audacity of Six’s undue arrogance and lackluster screen-play.

To begin, the film has very little dialogue. It would seem that Six is trying his best at Art Nouveau, at least I am sure that is what he would like the critics to believe. Instead, I think he just didn’t know where to begin. When dialogue does show up, it is either Six’s attempt at Psych 101, to paint a picture of abuse, or he really believes the audience is so beneath him, that they wouldn’t understand a more developed character, with more in-depth dialogue. The only other noises the audience will hear in this movie are screams, blood splashes, knife tings, gun shots, and every other sound done in post-production.

Six is so proud of his first movie, that you are pretty much watching it throughout the entire second movie. A lot of the film is simply the first movie actually playing, or the main character fantasizing about the first movie. I think Six’s head has become so inflated with a false sense of importance that he is really marveling at his own work, and want’s the audience to bow down to his mastery as well. Six isn’t wrong to think that the first movie is more interesting to watch, since the 2nd film is nothing more than an abortion on film making as a whole.

I also have some questions regarding the cast. Or rather, I have some Labor Board violations terms to review. Upon researching the main character Martin, played by Laurence R. Harvey, I wasn’t able to find anything on Harvey at all. While he did do a fine job playing a victimized, mentally disabled man; I wondered if that had more to do with the fact that he in fact was a mentally disabled man, who was being victimized, at least taken advantage of. Obviously, I hope not. But, until I find out that he was paid handsomely for his role, I will continue to worry about him.

The other cast member I have some real questions about is Ashlynn Yennie, or “Miss Yennie” in the second film. Ashlyn plays herself in this film, as the target of Martin’s obsession. He develops a fixation with her character “Jenny” in the first film, which starts the chain reaction into the violent path the movie heads towards. While I automatically have adoration for Ashlynn, being that she is from my home state of Wyoming, I also worry about her and her film career. I can only hope that she developed such a wonderful relationship with Tom Six during the filming of the first “Human Centipede” that she decided to do him a favor by showing up in his second film. I would hate to think that she showed up in this awful movie to actually further her career.

The movie’s only saving grace is the torture scene in the warehouse when Martin “tries” to create his own human centipede. It’s as nail biting, face-covering, shocking, and crazy as a “torture porn” buff would want. The rest of the movie is so torturous, in the sense that it is so horribly bad, that the real torture scene isn’t worth subjecting yourself to the rest of the film.

While I applaud Tom Six on his original “Human Centipede” movie, I have to give “The Human Centipede 2, Full Sequence,” a 1 out of 10. The 1 is for the 2 minute torture scene towards the end of the movie. The rest of the movie is an abomination not worth anybody’s time.

Laser Beahm’s Rating: 0/10

Posted in Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged |

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence Blu-ray & DVD (MPI) aka Human Centipede II

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence Blu-ray & DVD (MPI)

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence Blu-ray & DVD (MPI)

RELEASE DATE: February 14, 2012

Inspired by the fictional Dr. Heiter, disturbed loner Martin dreams of creating a 12-person centipede and sets out to realize his sick fantasy. Director Tom Six, who helmed the first Human Centipede, says the sequel makes the original look like “My Little Pony.” Check out the trailer and read cityonfire.com’s review.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

‘Chillerama’ comes to Netflix Instant

A horror anthology featuring Eric Roberts!

Some noteworthy titles have been added to Netflix instant. These films are actually arriving day and date with their blu-ray/DVD counterparts, perhaps a sign of things to come. Will advertisements in the future read “coming soon to blu-ray, DVD, and Netflix”?

The Spanish-language home invasion thriller “Kidnapped” has been added to streaming, as well as the horror movie anthology “Chillerama” and Werner Herzog’s latest documentary “Cave of Forgotten Dreams.”

Posted in News |

Blu-Ray and DVD Releases for 11/29/11

Zebraman 2: Attack on Zebra City aka Vengeful Zebra City Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

Zebraman 2: Attack on Zebra City aka Vengeful Zebra City Blu-ray/DVD (Funimation)

The last week of November finds plenty to get excited about. Time to get started on your Christmas shopping if you haven’t already. Who doesn’t love a good Asian blu-ray stocking stuffer? So here is our list of Asian and genre blu-ray and DVD releases for the week of 11/29/11:

ASIAN CINEMA

Zebraman 2: Attack on Zebra City (Blu-ray + DVD combo) – Zebraman is back for a futuristic adventure in Takashi Miike’s 2010 sequel. Zebra Screw Punch!

Flying Guillotine (DVD) – the 1975 Shaw Brothers classic that introduced the now infamous weapon is now on DVD with restored picture and original language audio track

Flying Guillotine 2 (DVD) – the 1977 sequel to the “Flying Guillotine” features Hong Kong legend Ti Lung (“A Better Tomorrow”)

Zen (DVD) – a thoughtful, G-rated 2009 Japanese biopic about Dogen Zenji, a Japanese Zen Buddhist teacher and the founder of the Soto school of Zen

Jackie Chan 4 Film Collection (blu-ray) – it appears as though Echo Bridge Entertainment has taken the Miramax prints and dubs of several of Jackie Chan’s films and put them on blu-ray without improving the picture or sound at all. On this collection, you get: “Project A,” “Project A 2,” “Armour of God,” and “Armour of God 2: Operation Condor.” There’s a review on Amazon that goes into detail about this disc’s failings, mostly that the prints are subpar and the movies offer no Cantonese language track. In the end, the reviewer still recommends the disc for hardcore Jackie Chan fans. The good news is that this set is only $10

FOREIGN CINEMA

Kidnapped (DVD) – a 2010 Spanish language home invasion thriller that won rave reviews from the likes of Twitch Film and Arrow in the Head

The Wave (DVD) – a 2008 German film about a high school social experiment detailing the effects of totalitarianism

Vampires (DVD) – a 2010 Belgian mockumentary that has been called the “Spinal Tap” of vampire movies

ANIMATION

Loups=Garous (blu-ray/DVD) – a post-apocalyptic 2010 Japanese anime about a group of young girls in a closed society who try to contact the outside world just as a series of murders rocks their isolated community

CULT

Another Earth (blu-ray + DVD combo) – what would you do if there was another world, with another you, and a fresh chance to start over? That’s the premise of this 2011 meditative science fiction film that won rave reviews at Sundance

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (DVD) – the 2011 documentary from Werner Herzog finds the iconoclast heading deep underground to examine cave paintings that are over 30,000 years old

The Future (DVD) – the latest, 2011 quirky indie film from scene darling Miranda July

Chillerama (blu-ray/DVD) – a 2011 throwback to the era of Troma movies and drive-in cinema, co-starring Ray Wise (“Twin Peaks”) and Eric Roberts

MAINSTREAM

5 Days of War (blu-ray/DVD) – a different kind of movie from “Cliffhanger” director Renny Harlin, this 2011 film follows the struggles of war journalists

TELEVISION

The Six Million Dollar Man: Season 1 (DVD) – the fan favorite television show starring Lee Majors, now on DVD

Mission: Impossible – The ’88 TV Season (DVD) – the “Mission: Impossible” series briefly returned to television with this 80’s revival, now on DVD

HORROR

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (blu-ray/DVD) – Magnet Films presents this 2011 fan favorite horror satire about backwoods rednecks who run afoul of some accident-prone teenagers

The Horror Express (blu-ray + DVD combo) – Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing star in this 1972 horror film about what happens when the “Missing Link” wakes up from a deep thaw while being transported aboard the Trans-Siberian Express

Needle (DVD) – a 2010 Australian horror film with a bit of a “Hellraiser” inspiration. What happens when a college student inherits an ancient mechanical device with supernatural properties? All hell breaks loose, naturally

House of Seven Corpses (DVD) – a 1974 zombie chiller starring John Carradine, supposedly filmed in a bonafied haunted mansion

Interested in any of these movies? If so, we hope that you’ll consider ordering from our affiliate to help support this site. Thank you!

Posted in News |

Netflix’s dirty little secret: a failure to stream

Shaolin Blu-ray/DVD (Well Go USA)

Shaolin Blu-ray/DVD (Well Go USA)

When Netflix added a surplus of Asian films to their streaming catalog, cinema fans everywhere rejoiced, including the folks here at City on Fire. However, as their increased price hike and falling stock prices have proved, Netflix can’t seem to do anything these days without some kind of hiccup.

Recently Netflix made a deal with distributor Asian Crush that saw many Korean titles bypass blu-ray/DVD distribution altogether in the West and head straight to Netflix streaming. Titles included the popular Korean 007 spoof “Dochimawa Lee” and the modern day Robin Hood tale “The Righteous Thief.” In less than a week, nearly a hundred Korean films were added to Netflix, all at movie-goer’s fingertips.

But it didn’t take long for problems to arise: reviews came pouring in, claiming that several of the streaming titles had audio problems. The sound would drop out entirely for long bouts of time, rendering the films unwatchable for most. Within days, the affected titles were gone. Some of the movies still say “streaming coming soon,” while others have vanished from the site completely. Since these films aren’t even available on disc, there’s no way to rent them even if you’re paying a higher price for DVDs by mail.

Asian film buffs are waiting patiently for the audio issues to be corrected and the movies returned to streaming, all with no word from Netflix. Meanwhile, Benny Chan’s high profile 2011 martial arts film “Shaolin” – featuring an all-star cast that includes Andy Lau and Jackie Chan – made its way to streaming a few days ago. The only problem was, the movie cut off after about 50 minutes of its two hour runtime. The review section became inundated with complaints: streaming audiences had no way to finish the movie. A day or two later, “Shaolin” has now been pulled from streaming. Netflix says it’s “Coming Soon.” Subscribers are not happy. Forced to be anonymous since Netflix removed usernames from their site, they write:

movie ended halfway through. Now you want me to pay more to see the rest of it. FUCKYOU NETFL!X!

The first 51 minutes of the movie was great. I was disappointed that it was cut short half way through the movie. Figured it would be fixed and I could watch the rest later. Instead of fixing the issue it’s been added to DVD only and removed from streaming. Seriously…..Is this some sort of new marketing ploy to get you to add DVD rentals? Can we ‘paying customers’ at least get an explanation when something like this happens.

“Are you kidding me!!!! What kind of inept service is this? Along comes a great movie in a long time and we get cut off. Can I pay half of the bill to the company? If you can’t get it right, the customers have the right to be refunded or compensated. WE COULD TAKE IT TO THE BBB AND FILE A COMPLAINT.”

Sure, some customers vent their concerns more eloquently than others but the issue remains: Netflix puts titles on streaming whether they’re actually ready to be streamed or not. There’s no doubt a lot of technical issues are involved in making hundreds of films available on demand, but paying customers shouldn’t click on a movie only to have the experience ruined by audio problems or an incomplete film. Right now this is another serious complaint on the laundry list of issues Netflix subscribers have with the company. Let’s hope somebody is listening.

Posted in News |

Asian movie murders and executions – I mean, mergers and acquisitions

They changed the name so Pixar wouldn't sue

Today Crunchyroll reports that Funimation has acquired the rights to Hong Kong superhero parody “Incredibly Ever After” (known as “Mr. and Mrs. Incredible” in Hong Kong). The film follows retired superheroes Gazer Man (Louis Koo) and Aroma Woman (Sandra Ng), and is set for a DVD release in the fall of 2012.

Here’s some older news but still good to know: Twitch Film reported earlier in the month that Well Go USA acquired the domestic rights to the John Woo-produced, two-part Taiwanese epic “Seediq Blade.” It’s unknown whether Well Go will release the truncated international version of the film or the lengthier two-parter.

In addition, Well Go USA obtained the rights to Andrew Lau’s action epic “The Flying Guillotines” and the Cecilia Cheung-starring “The Legendary Amazons.”  Since it’s Well Go USA, we can expect glorious blu-ray releases for all these titles as long as hi-def materials are available.

Posted in News |

Aragaki Yui to star in ‘Ranma 1/2’ live-action special

Aragaki Yui

Aragaki Yui

The classic manga/anime Ranma 1/2 is being turned into a live-action drama special starring actress Aragaki Yui. NTV will broadcast the 2-hour drama sometime in December. The announced cast also features Hasegawa Kyoko as Tendo Kasumi, Tanihara Shosuke as Ono Tofu, Furuta Arata as Saotome Genma, and Namase Katsuhisa as Tendo Soun.

Click here for the full story.

Update: Anime News Network linked a teaser pic of the cast in costume.

Update 2: More individual pics of the cast here. Thanks to @crazynabe and @namimi_sanjyo for the link.

Update 3: Check out a trailer here.

Posted in News |

‘Speed Angels’ – 1st race car film dedicated to female drivers to screen on December 28

"Speed Angels" Chinese Teaser Poster

"Speed Angels" Chinese Teaser Poster

Directed by Jingle Ma (Tokyo Raiders) and starring Cecilia Cheung (12 Nights), Rene Liu (Run Papa Run) and Tang Wei (Wu Xia); Speed Angels is the first ever racing car film dedicated to female drivers. The film will feature a lineup of celebrity heavyweights from the mainland, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan and South Korea.

Chinesefilms.cn reports that Speed Angels will be screened at on December 28, 2011. Also visit the link for additional stills and concept posters. Check back for the trailer.

Posted in News |

War of the Arrows Blu-ray & DVD (Well Go USA)

War of the Arrows Blu-ray & DVD (Well Go USA)

War of the Arrows Blu-ray & DVD (Well Go USA)

RELEASE DATE: February 21, 2012

War of the Arrows (aka Arrow: The Ultimate Weapon) is about a archer (Park Hae-il) who risks his life to save his sister from slavery under Prince Dorgan’s rule. War of the Arrows won four awards in 48th Daejong Awards to Best Actor for Park Hae-il and Best New Actress for Moon Chae-won. The film stayed at the top of the box office for weeks. Check out the trailer.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) Review

"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" Japanese Theatrical Poster

Director: Guillermo del Toro
Writer: Guillermo del Toro, Mike Mignola
Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, Jeffrey Tambor, Luke Goss, Anna Walton, John Hurt, Seth MacFarlane
Running Time: 120 min.

By JJ Hatfield

In some ways Hellboy II: The Golden Army surpasses the first movie especially when it comes to creatures of all sizes and personalities. Director Guillermo del Toro deserves much of the credit for making the movie such a success. From this work and others it is quite clear del Toro loves creating fantastical beings and over-the-top action. And fans love the result!

As the film unfolds we are treated to an amazing array of acrobatic fight sequences and dazzling special effects. In the first movie we learn of Hellboy’s origins therefore no need to go over that ground again. Well okay, so there may be some of you who missed Hellboy the first time around. His origin is from, uh Hell. He’s big, red, has filed down horns, one arm made of stone – or should that be brimstone? And he has a long tail. His friends call him Red and fortunately for the world he’s a good guy, with a soft heart although the bad guys would vehemently disagree.

The Golden Army begins with the young Hellboy watching Howdy Doody on television. When his kind and nurturing adoptive father insists it’s time for bed he demands a bedtime story. His father acquiesces and tells him the tale of early times when humans and supernatural creatures fought endlessly and viciously. The Royal ruler commanded an undefeatable army be built to destroy the humans. A glittering crown consisting of three interlocking pieces was used to control the massive legion of 70×70; the  Golden Army. After many humans had been slaughtered the King regretted his actions and sent the undefeatable army into hibernation and allowed mankind to possess the cities while the mystical beings inhabited the forests. To ensure lasting peace the King gave one piece of the crown to the humans while keeping two in the royal family.

After the bedtime story the movie shifts to modern day. Prince Nuada  never agreed with his father in allowing humans the cities, indeed he never felt the humans should be allowed to live at all. His sister Princess  Nuala  believes her father was right and will not help the Prince with his evil plan. The Prince is in Manhattan looking for the crown. Nuada is white-haired, unearthly pale and really old. Despite that he is an expert fighter and very good with sharp objects. His first attempt to find the crown brings out some of the most vicious yet coolest creatures in the movie-the Tooth Fairies. Tiny little winged creatures they feed on calcium which doesn’t sound too bad except that humans have an awful lot of calcium and the little critters seem to prefer their food warm and fresh. This nasty attack calls for Hellboy and his buddies from the Paranormal Research and Defense organization. Our talented friends fare better than the humans who accompany them.

During another crisis created by Prince Nuada Hellboy and his friends come out to the public while saving the day. It isn’t really intentional just something that happens during the call of duty. Even though he saves the city from a giant plant Hellboy is nearly killed by the authorities for his trouble. He even receives taunts from the crowd including a mother who wants to know what he’s done to her baby when in reality he saved the child’s life. In a moment of self-deprecating humor Hellboy says to someone in the assembled throng that he knows he’s ugly.

One of the greatest scenes in the whole film comes when the heroes visit the Trolls Market. There they encounter a huge assortment of various creatures, bizarre merchants with even more bizarre wares to sell. A viewer could spend a considerable amount of time just looking at the creatures including a talking tumor. Not since the tavern scene in Star Wars has there been such an assembled group of fascinating beings the likes of which you find in Hellboy II. It Isn’t done as the act of stealing but rather an homage. Even the music occasionally is reminiscent of Star Wars. This in no way detracts from the film but accents the style of action.

Ron Perlman reprises his role as Hellboy. His crime fighting friends include Abe Sapien played by Doug Jones. Abe is rather a gentle spirit, making his friendship with Red seem unlikely. However the viewer gains some insight into their relationship as they become intoxicated and sing a duet of a Barry Manilow love song. It may sound absurd but it’s really quite touching. Red’s lady love, the fiery Liz Sherman  is played by Selma Blair. Everyone in the cast turns in a believable performance, considering this is a comic book turned film. Hellboy II is not exactly a cerebral experience but it is a hell of a lot of fun.

JJ Hatfield’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Other Movies, Reviews | Tagged , , , , |

Better Tomorrow, A (2010) Review

"A Better Tomorrow" Korean Theatrical Poster

"A Better Tomorrow" Korean Theatrical Poster

Director: Song Hae-Seong
Cast: Joo Jin-Mo, Song Seung-Heon, Kim Gang-Woo, Jo Han-Seon, Kyeong-yeong Lee, Ji-yeong Kim, Hae-gon Kim, Hyeong-jun Lim, Tae-hwa Seo, Sin-seong Lee
Running Time: 124 min.

By HKFanatic

Considering Hong Kong cinema’s rich history, particularly during the New Wave of the 80’s and early 90’s, it’s surprising that producers haven’t indulged in more remakes. Then again, the Hong Kong film industry has changed so much during the last decade, any such endeavors would probably end up as remakes in name only. Actors have been replaced by pop stars, slow-motion and squibs traded for shakycam realism, and gritty Triad tales have fallen by the wayside in favor of CGI fantasy confections. I don’t think anybody wants to see Edison Chen and Nicholas Tse in a “Hard Boiled” remake directed by Gordon Chan. Thus, it falls to South Korea’s booming film industry to remake the 1986 John Woo movie “A Better Tomorrow.”

And what a risky proposition that is. “A Better Tomorrow” is, after all, the movie that put John Woo on the map, almost single-handedly created the heroic bloodshed genre, and turned Chow Yun Fat into the biggest star in Hong Kong. As a die-hard film buff, you have to wonder: just what could “Failan” and “Rikidozan” filmmaker Hae-sung Song add to this story that John Woo didn’t already make legendary? But with Woo onboard as producer, we must dismiss the notion that this is a mere cash-in on the “Better Tomorrow” brand name like Wong Jing’s 1994 “Return to a Better Tomorrow.”

In the interest of full disclosure, it’s been ages since I’ve seen the original film. I wanted to approach this remake with an open mind and judge it on its own merits. What I kept with me was my unshakable love for all things Woo – the slow motion, the doves, the blood-splurting bullet holes, the intense male friendships. As it turns out, the remake jettisons most of these elements. It is, instead, very much a modern Korean drama: handsomely produced, proficiently acted, but a bit overly long and cold in its approach. With his glossy style, Hae-sung Song keeps the audience at arm’s length and never truly involves us in the story.

Before I sat down to watch the film, I anticipated Woo-style operatic gun battles with slick Korean production values and a lot of pouting bad boys. I got the production values and the bad boys but not the slow-mo gun fu. The main focus here is drama, with plenty of over-the-top emoting and an almost homoerotic take on brotherly love. When we do get to the action, it’s delivered in a very unglamorous and matter-of-fact style, though it is still exciting to watch.

Once again, as in the work of director Dante Lam, we see the influence that Michael Mann has had on Asian action cinema during the last 7 years: the final shootout in this “A Better Tomorrow” arguably owes more to the climactic gun battle in Mann’s big screen “Miami Vice” picture than it does Woo’s original. The ending, with its grenade-launching pyrotechnics, is certainly the highlight of a film that could have benefited from a whole lot more action during its two hour runtime.

The actors are decent across the board, though it’s perhaps to be expected that Seung-heon Song comes nowhere close to the natural charisma and screen presence of 80’s Chow Yun Fat. His character is still pretty cool, though, with his brown trenchcoat and ridiculously over-sized sunglasses. The only time he falls flat is when he engages in some “What about me!”-style whining during crucial moments in the story.

Is “A Better Tomorrow” a bad movie? No, not at all. It looks and sounds great, and the actors do their job. Perhaps wisely, director Hae-sung Song sidesteps John Woo’s signature style altogether and delivers slick contemporary Korean melodrama instead. Granted, Woo’s films were always about melodrama too – but he tempered it with bloodshed and turned it into high art. This “Tomorrow” is probably best visited by fans of Korean blockbusters who haven’t seen Woo’s original. Some films are just untouchable.

HKFanatic’s Rating: 6/10


By Mighty Peking Man

“A Better Tomorrow” is one of the most influential movies to come out of Hong Kong. It put John Woo on the map as one of the greatest action film directors of our time. It also made Chow Yun-fat a superstar.

This brings us to the 2010 “A Better Tomorrow” remake by South Korean filmmaker Hae-sung Song (Failan). It’s a lavish joint production between South Korea, Japan and China. The project officially has John Woo’s blessing, since he – along with Terence Chang – served as an executive producer.

Before I checked out the remake, I wanted to watch John Woo’s original, which I haven’t seen for a good 10 years. However, I decided not to for a couple of reasons:

1) I wanted to avoid writing a review that would consist of nothing but a bunch of useless comparisons. What’s the fun in that? Besides, I wanted to get the most entertainment out of the remake that I possibly could.

2) I don’t own the original. How can a guy have 99% of Bruce Li’s films on DVD, yet not have a copy of “A Better Tomorrow.” Sad, but true.

Let me get one important fact out of the way before I get on with the review: The remake is not better than the original. I thought this before I even watched the remake.

I’m not a film snob who is totally against remakes. I actually don’t mind them at all. There are a lot of remakes that I prefer over the originals: “Vanilla Sky” (2001) was better than “Abre los ojos” (1997); “The Hills Have Eyes” (2006) was better than “The Hills Have Eyes” (1977); “The Ring” (2002) was better than “The Ring” (1998).

I wouldn’t be against the idea of anyone remaking “The Godfather,” one of my all-time favorites. Why? Because I’d be curious to see how it turned out, and whatever the outcome, at least I still have the original to go back to.

I have the same exact attitude towards the “A Better Tomorrow” remake:

Not that it should be a surprise to anyone, but the remake has the same exact plot outline as the original: Two brothers on opposite sides of the law; one’s a gangster (Joo Jin-Mo taking Ti Lung’s role), one’s a cop (Kim Gang-Woo taking Leslie Cheung’s role). Then there’s the second gangster (Song Seung-Heon taking Chow Yun-fat’s role), the unpredictable noble partner. Lastly, we have the innocent entry-level gangster (Jo Han-Seon taking over Waise Lee’s role), who turns out to be not-so innocent.

There are some drastic differences within the story. Some of the changes are clever, others are questionable; but at the risk of spoiling anything, I won’t get into any details. I must say, a couple of the changes did catch me off guard.

The overall movie is slick. It’s shot beautifully with high standards every step of the way. There’s lot of drama (which should be expected if you’ve seen the original), but when the action kicks in, the sequences are exciting, bloody and staged just right.

The performances are all good, but I have to give main props to Song Seung-Heon (Calla). Talk about having to fill some heavy shoes. In my opinion, he nearly succeeds in matching the charm and charisma that Chow yun-fat brought to the same role.

Towards the end, I grew a little sick of Kim Gang-Woo’s (Marine Boy) sobbing. They could have toned all that down a bit. Joo Jin-Mo’s (Musa) performance is basically a carbon copy of what Ti Lung gave us. Jo Han-Seon seemed to have the most fun and leeway, mostly due to his character’s change from the dork who opens doors for the higher up gangsters, to the ruthless villain he later becomes.

All in all, the remake is enjoyable and fun to watch. Most likely, I’ll never watch it again, but I’m sure I’ll watch the original many more times.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Korean, Reviews | Tagged , |

Flying Guillotine Parts 1 and 2 beheads to retail stores on November 29th!

Arc Entertainment & Dragon Dynasty have just released 2 more classic Shaw Brothers films that represent the absolute cream of the crop of Kung Fu cinema! Flying Guillotine and Flying Guillotine 2 hit retail stores November 29th and are available in Wal Mart, on Amazon and from other fine retailers. Both films have been beautifully re-mastered and include both Chinese and English audio tracks.

These are the last two of 10 Shaw Brothers classics released by Arc/Dragon Dynasty this year, which also included Avenging Eagle, Blood Brothers, Executioners of Shaolin, Five Shaolin Masters, Golden Swallow, Killer Clan, Mad Monkey Kung Fu and Martial Arts of Shaolin.

Flying Guillotine DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Flying Guillotine DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Flying Guillotine

“The wonderfully outlandish title weapon is irresistible…” – Hong Kong Digital

“Pure camp fun” – cityonfire.com

The film that started it all! Hong Kong kung fu cinema is filled with all types of inventive weaponry, but few are as original, iconic or over-the-top as Flying Guillotine, and this was the first film to use it. The corrupt Emperor wants to dispatch of subordinates who dare disagree with his evil rule. Unable to publicly execute popular and decent officials, he commissions a new deadly weapon to clandestinely carry out these killings. Enter the Flying Guillotine and the elite squad trained to use the new, seemingly invincible weapon. When top squad member Ma Teng (Chen Kuan Tai, Executioners of Shaolin) can no longer stomach these immoral killings, he goes on the run, pursued by his former comrades. Now our hero must protect his family and create a counter-weapon that can defeat The Flying Guillotine!

Flying Guillotine 2 aka Flying Guillotine Part II DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Flying Guillotine 2 aka Flying Guillotine Part II DVD (Dragon Dynasty)

Flying Guillotine 2

“Flying Guillotine 2 is one sequel worthy of its predecessor” – Kung Fu Cinema

Few sequels match the original, especially one that brought us a weapon as iconic as Flying Guillotine, but Flying Guillotine 2 ramps up the action to a new level. The heroic Ma Teng (Ti Lung, Avenging Eagle) has developed a counter to the Flying Guillotines attack, but when word reaches The Emperor, who is more bloodthirsty than ever, he creates a new deadlier version and trains a squad of female assassins to use it! Now Ma must help the gang of rebels trying to overthrow the evil tyrant and create a new counter-weapon to defeat the improved Guillotine. With frantic martial arts action and weapons that “…would be the envy of James Bond for their ingenuity” (KungFuCinema.com) Flying Guillotine 2 is bloody good fun for kung fu fans!

Trailers: Flying Guillotine Part 1 | Flying Guillotine Part 2

Posted in News |

Shaolin Soccer (2001) Review

"Shaolin Soccer" Japanese DVD Cover

“Shaolin Soccer” Japanese DVD Cover

Director: Stephen Chow
Co-director: Lik-Chi Lee
Cast: Stephen Chow, Lee Wai, Vicki Zhao, Ng Man-Tat, Cecilia Cheung, Cheung Ming Ming, Law Kar-Ying, Karen Mok, Karen Morris, Alan Tam, Patrick Tse
Running Time: 112 min.

By Vic Nguyen

Overtaking From Beijing With Love as the best introduction to the work of Stephen Chow to western audiences, this big budget, FX laden production more than lives up to the hype, injecting enough comedy and action to satisfy all comers. Although Chow receives star billing, this is one of the few productions in which he is (almost) overshadowed by his supporting cast. Special nods go to Wong Yat-fei (whose blithering, chain-smoking Iron Head is one of the most memorable Stephen Chow supporting characters in recent memory), Vicky Zhao Wei (making the most out of an underwritten role), and _______ (delivering one of the best Bruce Lee impersonations you will ever see). Additionally, Ching Siu-tung’s much heralded (deservedly so) soccer sequences are groundbreaking, effortlessly combining completely respectful, cartoon-like CGI effects with Hong Kong Cinema’s trademark physical grace.

Cementing Stephen Chow as Hong Kong Cinema’s all time box office king (raking in well over $60 million HK in it’s hefty run) and nominated for multiple HK Film Awards, Shaolin Soccer is Stephen Chow’s finest accomplishment as an actor/director.

Note- Cameos include frequent female costars Karen Mok Man-wai and Cecilia Cheung Pak-chi (as male soccer players, no less!) and long-time collaborator Vincent Kok Tat-chiu (as another opposing player). In another related tidbit, co-star Patrick Tse Yin is the real life father of pop idol Nicholas Tse Ting-fung.

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9/10


By Alexander

I haven’t seen a soccer movie this good since Sylvester Stallone and Pele escaped occupied France in the vastly underrated Victory. Victory features an international cast of actual soccer stars and a post-First Blood Stallone who saves a couple dozen POWs from Nazi imprisonment by his ability to stop penalty kicks fired from the foot of a scowling German striker named Dieter or Max or something. Sure, the soccer-as-metaphor-for-war isn’t exactly ground-breaking and the sight of Nazi general Max Von Sydow clapping in slow motion after witnessing Pele’s bicycle-kick heroics is pretty cheesy, but with a rousing score and incredible soccer action, Victory is timeless B-movie fun.

Shaolin Soccer also has a rousing score and the soccer action IS incredible (albeit CG enhanced). The premise is wickedly original: A misfit band of brothers who studied with a Shaolin master unite under the leadership of a crippled former soccer star and enter a tournament in hopes of scoring a million dollar prize. Admittedly, their journey to the tournament is pretty dull, with the exception of an innovative scene involving a disfigured Vicki Zhao Wei and some really cool bread making, Shaolin style. But once the games begin during the latter half of the film, Shaolin Soccer shines. Stephen Chow and his teammates perform astonishing feats using their Shaolin talents to vanquish a series of foes (including one featuring an oddly mustached Cecilia Cheung). Soccer balls scream towards the goal like meteorites and players leap implausibly high. The final “battle” between the Shaolin and Evil teams is brilliant in its absurdity. It’s one of the more fun and imaginative sequences I’ve ever seen in a movie.

In addition to the blazing action, there’s also plenty of humor. Some of the more notable scenes involve a bald Vicky Wei, some sly allusions to Bruce Lee, a singing Stephen Chow, and an absolutely hilarious bit near the beginning that attempts to explain the practical uses of Shaolin.

Despite its excellence, my wife astutely observed that this movie would be a hard sell in the U.S. While tens of millions of American children play soccer, it’s doubtful even a fraction of them would clamor to see a Chinese produced film about the sport, no matter how funny or advanced the special effects. Baseball and basketball movies arrive in theaters in droves, but the last soccer oriented film to grace American screens was Ladybugs, starring Rodney Dangerfield. Remember that one? Didn’t think so. Miramax would be wise to offer the film uncut in a few select theaters then roll out the DVD INTACT to the American market, ala Shiri and Time and Tide.

Alexander’s Rating: 8.5/10


By Numskull

So this is what all the fuss is about? Hmm…good thing I didn’t believe the hype. Shaolin Soccer is an amusing diversion, but it’s hardly God’s gift to Hong Kong cinema.

I’m sure there will be no shortage of people who will gladly refer to the Miramax release (“Kung Fu Soccer”) as “dope” and not without some justification, but the film spends a little too much time reveling in its big budget and special effects, and the romantic subplot between Stephen Chiau and Vicki Zhao Wei is nothing but bullshit.

The humor is mostly visual, and it works more often than it doesn’t. Stephen Chiau elaborating upon the practical merits of learning Shaolin kung fu to Ng Man Tat produces some funny moments, and the “war movie” scene is hilarious in its out-of-place-ness. Too bad it occurs in the middle of one of the film’s worst segments…the Shaolin soccer team’s match against the bullies from the bar where First Big Brother “Iron Head” works. In this scene as well as earlier ones, that particular character is such a pathetic fucking WIMP that it’s impossible to muster any sympathy for him. When he put that guy’s underwear on his head, I wanted to kick the living shit out of him. Similarly, I find it hard to believe that all these former Shaolin students would just sit there and let the opposing team beat them half to death until their great and benevolent leader Stephen Chiau stands up to show them the way. Then, the two teams join forces in a ridiculous manner which vaguely reminded me of those crappy Saturday morning cartoons that I watched when I was a little shit of perhaps six years while stuffing my face with Froot Loops, back when they only came in three colors. Then there’s the big championship game, where the identity of the relief goalie can be seen a mile (or 1.609 kilometers) away and the reappearance of Stephen Chiau’s shitty old pair of sneakers should surprise no one.

The Universe DVD includes a 20 minute “making of” documentary, a brief feature which illustrates the implementation of some of the computer effects, a photo gallery, an outtakes segment, and two additional “director’s cut” scenes (I hated them both, but it’s nice that you’re given the option to watch them…something which Miramax isn’t likely to do for their release).

I guess I’m riding this movie pretty hard. It’s not bad, but I have an inherent hatred for the game of soccer due to growing up in a town (Agawam, MA; a.k.a. Yuppie Central) where it was less a sport than a religion, with lots of SUV-driving, fashionable cause-supporting, last name-hyphenating bitches shuttling their brats to and fro at uncivilized rates of speed and at all hours of the day. But that’s not what it’s about. We all know that soccer is REALLY about Latino countries becoming the sites of looting and rampaging after their team loses some big important match. (Or is it after they WIN?)

There, I’ve made a few more enemies. Time to call it quits.

Numskull’s Rating: 6/10


By Joe909

Stephen Chow looks like a thinner, goofier Bruce Lee throughout this crazy movie. The basic plot is that Chow is a down on his luck Shaolin student. A former soccer champion enlists Chow, after a lot of shenanigans, to form a soccer team, and finally Chow gets together his former Shaolin brothers and fashions them into his teammates.

I would say that this is one of those movies where the special effects dominate everything, but luckily they’re done well, and, more importantly, they complement the movie. It isn’t crap like “Phantom Menace:” all special effects and no story. Some of the effects are downright impressive, such as the long shot of Chow kicking a soccer ball toward a far-off brick wall.

There isn’t much real soccer in the movie, especially in the game against the Evil Team. Mostly it’s just people flying around and burning up. But regardless, the games are just as exciting as any swordplay or wire-fu fights I’ve seen in years.

One thing I would’ve liked to have seen more of was the Bruce Lee-lookalike goalie, who isn’t in the movie very much. He has the best scene in the film, in his solo stand against a team of villainous females. But he doesn’t last very long in the climactic game against the Evil Team, and is escorted off the field; though this does provide us with another funny gag, as he slips on a pair of big Bruce Lee-style sunglasses.

Shaolin Soccer has some hilarious moments, some unfunny moments, some downright exciting moments, some boring moments, and the sexiest actress I’ve seen in years: a young woman who trips over a banana peel in the beginning. Not sure of the actress’s name, but judging from the making-of documentary, she’s new to the acting business. All in all, though, Shaolin Soccer is a mixed bag.

Joe909’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Palisades Tartan titles expiring soon from Netflix Instant

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman DVD (Palisades Tartan)

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman DVD (Palisades Tartan)

Just a heads up that a few Asian films released by distributor Palisades Tartan will be expiring from Netflix Instant at the end of the month (11/30/11). Most of them are Asian horror movies, but if you’re interested in watching any of them you might want to do so in the next few days!

KOREA

Face (2004), Address Unknown (2001), The Coast Guard (2002), Sorum (2001), Bloody Reunion (2006), Whispering Corridors (1998)

JAPAN

Carved: The Slit Mouthed Woman (2007), Pray (2005)

THAILAND

The Victim (2006), Ghost of Mae Nak (2005), Dorm (2006)

HONG KONG/CHINA

The Heirloom (2005), The Maid (2005), A World Without Thieves (2004), The Heroic Duo (2003), Divergence (2005)

Posted in News |

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted in News |