Last Hero in China | aka Deadly China Hero (1993) Review

"Last Hero in China" Theatrical Poster

“Last Hero in China” Theatrical Poster

Director: Wong Jing
Cast: Jet Li, Nat Chan Pak Cheung, Alan Chui Chung San, Leung Kar Yan, Dicky Cheung, Chu Tiet Wo, Sharla Cheung Man, Gordon Liu, Anita Yuen, Chun Kwai Bo
Running Time: 105 min.

By Numskull

First of all, I want to say that the World Video DVD for this movie has an unforgivable manufacturing defect. Although Cantonese and Mandarin both appear as language options, you can only watch the movie in Cantonese. Why? Because, if you select Mandarin, the DVD restarts and the options go back to the default settings. Try it again, try it a third time, try it until your DVD player’s remote control’s batteries are completely drained…you’ll always get the same result. So, who is responsible for this monumental fuck-up? Have they been fired? And, if so, then why the hell not? A trained chimp could have done a better job testing this thing, for fuck’s sake.

Anyway… the movie itself combines Yuen Wo-Ping’s fight choreography with Wong Jing’s direction, so it’s obviously a mixed bag. Jet Li plays Chinese folk hero Wong Fei-Hung, and… you know what, I’m getting pretty fucking sick of Wong Fei-Hung all the damn time. I’m sure he was a great man and everything, but he’s been portrayed in more friggin’ movies than Count Dracula, Hercules, and Santa Claus combined. All you lazy Chinese film makers, next time you wanna make a period kung fu movie, just have the hero be some guy. Sane people don’t give a shit about Wong Fei-Hung anymore because he’s been in like a thousand fucking movies already. Give it a rest, dammit!

There, I said it.

The fact that this is the best Wong Jing film I’ve seen to date is a very sad commentary on his abilities, because it sure as shit ain’t a great movie. Jet Li’s talents were wasted on all of his collaborations with this hack. Fortunately, Yuen Wo-Ping injects some much-needed excitement into this lame story about a kung fu school moving in next to a brothel and young women being abducted by some screwy cult. There’s a stupid musical number where the whores sing without subtitles in voices that are much different from the ones they use when they’re just talking. There’s also a very familiar-sounding score, a villain who laughs at everything, a sub-plot about medicine that makes people deaf, and a scene where Jet Li dresses up as a rooster to fight a giant centipede (not a real one…you know, it’s being held up by a row of guys inside, just like those dragons). The dreaded No Shadow Kick makes an appearance and Wong Fei-Hung engages in some drunken fist kung fu in an apparent nod to Jackie Chan’s Drunken Master films. There are outtakes in the ending credits; a rarity for Jet Li.

I don’t wanna talk about this movie anymore. It’s so average, it kinda pisses me off. Go away.

Numskull’s Rating: 5/10

Posted in All, Chinese, News, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence | Blu-ray & DVD (Blue Underground)

Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence | Blu-ray & DVD (Blue Underground)

Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence | Blu-ray & DVD (Blue Underground)

RELEASE DATE: November 19, 2013

The wrong arm of the law is back! Blue Underground presents the Blu-ray & DVD for 1993’s Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence, directed by William Lustig (Maniac Cop 2). Maniac cop returns from the dead once more to seek revenge, destroying everthing and anyone that stands in his way. Starring Robert Davi, Robert Z’Dar and Caitlin Dulany. Watch the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Danguard Ace: The Movie Collection | DVD (Shout! Factory)

Danguard Ace: The Movie Collection | DVD (Shout! Factory)

Danguard Ace: The Movie Collection | DVD (Shout! Factory)

RELEASE DATE: November 19, 2013

Shout! Factory presents the DVD for The Danguard Ace: The Movie Collection (aka Wakusei Robo Danguard Ace). The inhabitants of Earth face a grim fate after all of the planet’s natural resources have been depleted by the evil Mr. Doppler. Danguard Ace, a super robot created by citizens of Earth, is their only chance to defeat the evil Mr. Doppler and save the human race! Watch the original Japanese opening sequence.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Witchboard | Blu-ray & DVD (Shout! Factory)

Witchboard | Blu-ray & DVD (Shout! Factory)

Witchboard | Blu-ray & DVD (Shout! Factory)

RELEASE DATE: Early 2014

Shout! Factory presents the Blu-ray & DVD for 1986’s Witchboard, directed by Kevin Tenney (Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway). In Witchboard, a woman (Tawny Kitaen) finds an interest in her friend Brandon’s Ouija Board when he brings it by her party. This so called “board game” soon turns into a deadly game of survival. Also starring Todd Allen and Clare Bristol. Watch the trailer.

Stay tuned for pre-order information.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway | Blu-ray & DVD (Olive Films)

Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway | Blu-ray & DVD (Olive Films)

Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway | Blu-ray & DVD (Olive Films)

RELEASE DATE: October 15, 2013

Olive Films presents the Blu-ray & DVD for 1993’s Witchboard 2: The Devil’s Doorway, directed by Kevin Tenney (Witchboard). This sequel to the 1986 horror film Witchboard follows a young woman who finds a ouija board in her new apartment, and begins to think that the former tenant was murdered. Soon, she also starts to fear for her own life. Watch the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Juno Mak seeks to revive the glory days of ‘Mr. Vampire’ with ‘Rigor Mortis’

"Rigor Mortis" Teaser Poster

"Rigor Mortis" Teaser Poster

You may recall that Juno Mak started his career as a pop star but made an impression transition to acting in films like Revenge: A Love Story and Let’s Go!, the latter of which we reviewed here.

Now Mak is stepping behind the camera and for his first outing as director he has an especially ambitious goal. Mak is looking to resurrect the glory days of the 80’s Hong Kong vampire films like Mr. Vampire with a creepy new horror flick called Rigor Mortis.

To help him accomplish his mission, Mak has populated his cast with a host of familiar and legendary faces.

The only surviving member of the Mr. Vampire series, Chin Siu Ho, will have a prominent role but fans can also look forward to Kara Hui (My Young Auntie) and Richard Ng (The Lucky Stars series) making an appearance, among others.

I’d say Rigor Mortis has a good shot at bringing back the glory days of 80’s Hong Kong horror, when hopping vampires collided with well-choreographed martial arts, but bear in mind that Juno Mak says he’s going for a more much darker and more serious tone. You can read in great detail about the film here, where James Marsh is keeping track of production and will be offering interviews with the cast.

Update: Variety reports that various distributors have been keen on securing the rights for Rigor Mortis. It’s only a matter of time before a North American release will be announced just in time for Halloween. Until then, here’s the trailer.

BREAKING NEWS: Your friends at Well Go USA have officially acquired the film for North American release. After a film festival debut this fall, the distributor is hoping to have the film on Blu-ray and DVD in early 2014.

Posted in News |

Cult Movie Marathon Volume 1 | DVD (Shout! Factory)

Cult Movie Marathon Volume 1 | DVD (Shout! Factory)

Cult Movie Marathon Volume 1 | DVD (Shout! Factory)

RELEASE DATE: December 10, 2013

Shout! Factory presents the DVD for Cult Movie Marathon Volume 1, which includes 1972’s Unholy Rollers, directed by Vernon Zimmerman (Fade to Black); 1973’s Invasion of the Bee Girls, directed by Denis Sanders (Shock Treatment); 1969’s The Devil’s Eight, directed by Burt Topper (Soul Hustlers); and 1986’s Vicious Lips, directed by Albert Pyun (Cyborg). Many of these films are presented on DVD for the first time!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Cult Movie Marathon Volume 2 | DVD (Shout! Factory)

Cult Movie Marathon Volume 2 | DVD (Shout! Factory)

Cult Movie Marathon Volume 2 | DVD (Shout! Factory)

RELEASE DATE: December 10, 2013

Shout! Factory presents the DVD for Cult Movie Marathon Volume 2, which includes 1985’s Savage Island, directed by Nicholas Beardsley; 1977’s Chatterbox, directed by Tom DeSimone (Angel III: The Final Chapter); 1986’s The Naked Cage, directed by Paul Nicholas (Chained Heat); and 1968’s Angels from Hell, diected by Bruce Kessler (Killers Three). Many of these films are presented on DVD for the first time!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th | Blu-ray & DVD (1428 Films)

"Crystal Lake Memories" Blu-ray Cover

"Crystal Lake Memories" Blu-ray Cover

RELEASE DATE: September 13, 2013

1428 Films presents the Blu-ray & DVD for Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th. Over 7 hours of interviews, clips and behind the scenes anecdotes from the stars and filmmakers behind this beloved and enduring film series. Narrated by Corey Feldman, who starred in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. And don’t forget about the Friday the 13th: The Complete Collection on Blu-ray!

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

6 actors who should have been the new Batman

"Batman Returns" Japanese Theatrical Poster

"Batman Returns" Japanese Theatrical Poster

When you think of Ben Affleck, there are a few things that come to mind. To be fair, the top of this list includes recent Oscar success and a generally blossoming reputation as one of the most promising directors in Hollywood (following “The Town” and, more significantly, “Argo“).

But then there’s the old Ben Affleck that comes to mind. The one who’s positively dripping with Boston-ness, Matt Damon’s bum-ish sidekick, picking bad films, and establishing a reputation as a poker player on the side. If you had to guess how Affleck spends his free time, there are two things that would come to mind. One is a seedy bar in the middle of a rundown Boston neighborhood. The other is BetFair Casino, an online arcade and casino destination that allows for real money gambling. Given Affleck’s reputation as a pretty hardcore amateur poker player, it’s not hard to imagine him spending hours on this site’s diverse range of gaming options, gambling away his hard-earned acting cash on high-stakes online games. He might even do it while he’s sitting in the seedy Boston bar that first came to mind! Or on his phone during a Red Sox game…. You get the idea. He somehow comes off as a bit of a bum, despite recent success and the real reputation of being a stand-up, down to Earth guy. He just doesn’t seem like Batman.

Unless, apparently, your name is Zack Snyder. The director in charge of the relatively awful “Man Of Steel” has cast Affleck to carry on the role of the Caped Crusader in the sequel to his Superman film, which will see Batman resurrected whether Christian Bale was going to come back or not. It’s an odd choice, to say the least, but it does inspire some interesting thoughts about who would have been more natural. So without further ado, here are 5 actors who would have made more sense than Ben Affleck!

6. Josh Holloway

Who? Actually, this idea from Screen Rant actually makes a lot of sense. Holloway is Sawyer from Lost – he’s big, imposing, he does a great facial tremble when he’s angry, and he’s generally a badass. Sure he’s blonde, but that can be fixed – Holloway would have been an interesting, if unlikely choice.

5. Luke Evans

This guy’s banging on the door for a major leading role. You may know him best as Zeus from Immortals, or as the villain in the most recent Fast & Furious film. He’s dark, brooding and intense, and this would have been a nice chance for him to break through.

4. Hugh Jackman

Okay, so he’s already Wolverine. That aside, Jackman probably could have done the best Bale impression, keeping the modern Batman alive, to some extent. Jackman may look like a permanent Men’s Health cover model, but he’s actually a hell of an actor as well.

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Um, did we all forget the end of The Dark Knight Rises? SPOILER ALERT – – Joseph Gordon-Levitt was totally set up to be the next Batman. No, not Robin, even if that was his name – he was 100% set up to be Bruce Wayne’s successor. Why not roll with this and do something original?

2. Scott Adkins

A bit of a ‘dark horse’ pick, yes, but when rumors broke that Scott Adkins had been asked to audition for the role of Batman, the hearts of action movie fanboys were sent fluttering. Adkins has spent the last decade steadily proving himself as a martial arts star to be reckoned with, showing off his skills in movies like Ninja and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning. However, it was really 2010’s Undisputed III: Redemption which finally showcased Adkins’ talents as a character actor and displayed that Adkins has the requisite intensity to play the caped crusader.

1. Christian Bale

The bottom line is, it’s too soon for a new man behind the mask. If Bale wasn’t willing to take this role (and he wasn’t, and that was a good thing, because the Batman trilogy was flawless), it shouldn’t have been done. Period. Affleck has become a very talented actor and this is really nothing against him. It’s just too soon.

Posted in News |

Darkman: Collector’s Edition | Blu-ray (Shout! Factory)

"Darkman" Collector's Edition Blu-ray

"Darkman" Collector's Edition Blu-ray

RELEASE DATE: December 17, 2013

Shout! Factory presents the Blu-ray for Darkman: Collector’s Edition, directed by Sam Raimi. This 1990 comic book-like movie stars Liam Neeson (Taken) as a tortured hero who can alter his face to resemble anyone on the planet; the catch is, in 99 minutes his face will revert back to normal no matter who he happens to be impersonating. The movie also features a score from composer Danny Elfman during his Batman prime. Watch the trailer.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

Matt Damon to return to the role he was ‘Bourne’ to play?

Here's the Japanese poster just for the hell of it.

Here's the Japanese poster just for the hell of it.

Love it or hate, there’s hard to deny that something was missing from last year’s The Bourne Legacy: namely, Matt Damon, the actor who personified the role of ex-spy Jason Bourne for an entire trilogy of movies. Legacy‘s Jeremy Renner is a talented actor who ably tried to the fill the role of the Bourne clone Aaron Cross, but the truth is he wasn’t given much to work with.

Following the lukewarm reception of Legacy, there were rumors that Universal was planning a film that would see Matt Damon’s Bourne and Jeremy Renner’s Aaron Cross, well, cross paths. Recently, Twitch Film broke a story that Universal has changed gears somewhat.

It appears that the plan is to bring both Matt Damon and his Supremacy and Ultimatum director Paul Greengrass back for an Aaron Cross-less sequel.

There’s certainly going to be a lot of paychecks to write and contracts to navigate, but there’s no doubt that most Bourne fans will be happy if Damon ultimately winds up back in the role he helped make famous. Stay tuned for further details.

Posted in News |

Short Eyes | Blu-ray & DVD (Scorpion Releasing)

Short Eyes | Blu-ray & DVD (Scorpion Releasing)

Short Eyes | Blu-ray & DVD (Scorpion Releasing)

RELEASE DATE: TBA 2014

Scorpion Releasing presents the Blu-ray & DVD for 1977’s Short Eyes, directed by Robert M. Young (Extremities). Grim, graphically violent drama in which the life of a man arrested for child sex offences turns into a living hell in prison. Featuring an original soundtrack by Curtis Mayfield (Super Fly). Definitely one of the best prison movies you’ve never seen. Starring Bruce Davison, José Pérez, Nathan George and Luis Guzmán.

Stay tuned for pre-order information.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |

New trailer for Scott Adkins and Dolph Lundgren in ‘Legendary’

"Legendary" Key Art

Fan favorite martial artist/actor Scott Adkins (Undisputed III, The Expendables 2) is currently in China filming a new 3D action movie titled A Legend. The movie is actually a British and Chinese co-production, featuring talent from both countries. Adkins stars opposite Chinese actress Huang Yi, who recently turned heads in the lead role of The Woman Knight of Mirror Lake.

Despite the multi-national cast, Chinese Films reports that the dialogue is being recorded in English. The plot follows a tour group exploring China’s unique geographical formations. Scott Adkins and Huang Yi’s characters will fall in love over the course of the story, a fact that is underscored by these new stills featuring the actors oiled up and embracing one another.

Scott Adkins’ own website has more details on the film, describing it as a “95-minute action-packed adventure film shot in 3D.” Also look for an appearance by Adkins’ Expendables 2 co-star Dolph Lundgren. The film has been discussed in the West under the title Legendary: Tomb of the Dragon. Head on over to this fan website for a ton of pictures from the movie and opening ceremony. Stay tuned to Cityonfire.com for the trailer when it debuts.

Updates: Check out the teaser trailer. The movie is finished and now known under the simplified title of Legendary. The film will be screened in 3D at Cannes this month (May 2013), before a Chinese theatrical release in August. Worldwide release dates are to be announced sometime down the road. Here’s the newest poster. | First full trailer for Legendary.

BREAKING NEWS: Introducing the French trailer for Legendary.

Posted in News |

Robotech: 20-Disc Complete Set | DVD (Lionsgate)

"Robotech: The Complete Set" DVD Cover

"Robotech: The Complete Set" DVD Cover

RELEASE DATE: November 5, 2013

Lionsgate presents the DVD collection for Robotech®: The Complete Set. It includes remastered versions of all 85 episodes from the three Robotech Wars: The Macross Saga, The Robotech Masters and The New Generation. It also includes the Robotech: 2-Movie Collection featuring the fan favorite — The Shadow Chronicles — and the latest film, Love Live Alive, as well as a bonus disc. For more details, see the full press release here.

Posted in DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Other Notable Titles |