“The Killer Meteors” Japanese DVD Cover
Director: Lo Wei
Cast: Jackie Chan, Jimmy Wang Yu, Philip Ko Fei, Lee Man Tai, Chan Wai Lau, Man Man, Ma Kei, Tung Lam, Sit Hon, Lily Lan Yu Li, Chan Sam Lam, Ching Kuo Chung
Running Time: 91 min.
By Numskull
Easily one of the five worst movies that Jackie Chan has appeared in, and what a surprise that the Anti-Christ himself, Jimmy Wang Fuck Yu, is involved. Granted, he wasn’t yet the benevolent, sanctuary-granting angel that he was when Island of Fire was made, but still, the mere sight of this man on-screen is enough to send waves of negative psychic energy from the TV screen and into your living room. It won’t do anything as bland and trite as levitate your bed or bang your pots and pans… oh no, it will give your pets rabies, drive pre-adolescent children mad with horrific hallucinations, and generally fuck your shit up. You have been warned. Anyway, here are…
10 things I would almost rather do instead of watching Killer Meteors:
- Parade through Harlem with a Nazi flag
- Watch a porno movie with Roseanne Barr performing sordid sexual acts upon a helpless killer whale
- Trade places with the guy who gets trapped in the room with the poison gas in the beginning of The Rock.
- Be buried chin-deep in bloody stool and then go for a swim in shark-infested waters
- Implant my consciousness into the body of a hamster being presented to Richard Gere
- Hire a blind acupuncture therapist to neutralize a pain in my scrotum
- Sodomize a llama
- Undergo two decades of martial arts training and then leave my career in the hands of Robert Clouse
- Watch “Fantasy Mission Farce”
- Get anally raped by Jimmy Wang Yu
P.S. Sodomy is funny (^_^)
Numskull’s Rating: 1/10
It’s not THAT bad…
I don’t think Numskull is the person that should be reviewing this film. Perhaps someone who isn’t slightly biased against Jimmy Wang Yu might be a better choice.
Agree, especially from your POV. lol I wish I can take the time to explain the full context of Numskull’s reviews back then. Let’s just say he was a very creative, set honestly harsh, writer. There was very little gray area with him. I think his dismay for the film/Wang Yu is at top notch for the sake of entertainment and humor. But all that aside…. I can’t wait to revisit it (Mike Leeder-ploitation!) when 88 Films releases it later this year!
Killer Meteors isn’t really typical of Wang Yu’s films…there’s no evil Japanese for a start! It’s as unrepresentative of him as it is of Jackie.