Golden Slumber (2018) Review

“Golden Slumbers” Theatrical Poster

Director: No Dong-Seok
Cast: Gang Dong-Won, Kim Eui-Sung, Han Hyo-Joo, Kim Sung-Kyun, im Dae-Myung, Yoo Jae-Myung, Yoon Kye-Sang, Kim You-Jung, Choi Woo-Sik
Running Time: 108 min.

By Paul Bramhall

Reviewing a movie which is a remake of another is always a tricky job, especially with the current trend for doing so within the Asian region. In the past couple of years alone, purely looking at Korea, we’ve had Luck.Key (a remake of Japan’s Key of Life), Heart Blackened (a remake of China’s Silent Witness), and Believer (a remake of China’s Drug War). If you haven’t seen the original, should you go and check it out so at least you know what it was based on, and if you do, should the review act as a comparison between the two? Well, Korea aren’t through with the trend just yet, and the latest title to be given the remake treatment is Yoshihiro Nakamura’s 2010 production, Golden Slumber, which retains its name for the latest incarnation.

Both movies are based on the Japanese novel, also of the same name, and for the Korean version Nakamura’s shoes are filled by Noh Dong-seok. I’ll be upfront and say that by the time the end credits rolled on Golden Slumber, having not seen the Japanese version, I can confidently state that the answer to the question posed in the previous paragraph is no. If the original is even a fraction as annoying and limp wristed as its remake, then I can image becoming irredeemably comatose by the end of it, never to inflict the world with my ramblings ever again. It’s surprising, as if anything Korea is known for its dark and gritty action movies, while Japan is known for its lightweight and safe approach when it comes to its mainstream output.

The point of Golden Slumber being remade at all is a debatable one, especially when you consider that the innocent man on the run trope was already effectively covered in 2013’s Running Man (I mean check out the posters, they’re almost identical!). For whatever reason though, it’s here. For director Dong-seok the remake marks his third time at the helm, after previously directing the dramas My Generation and Boys of Tomorrow, in 2004 and 2006 respectively. Why he’s gone 12 years without making another movie is anyone’s guess, although my own personal one is that the producers likely asked 100 other directors first, and all of them wisely turned it down.

Stepping into the role that Masato Sakai played in the original is popular thespian Gang Dong-won, who most recently showed a more macho side than we’re used to in the thriller Master (not to mention he’s headlining Kim Jee-woon’s recently wrapped Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade). Dong-won is usually a reliable presence onscreen, however here he puts in a career worst performance, making the 105 minute runtime an endurance test to get through. Playing a happy go lucky courier who just wants to “live a good life without hurting others” (yes, that’s an actual line), it seems his biggest goal is to hang out more with the members of the band he used to be in from his younger days. Said band had an affinity for the Beatles song ‘Golden Slumber’, but when life started to get in the way (kids, careers etc.), much to Dong-won’s dismay they decided to go their separate ways. So yes, he’s basically a sulking man-child.

However when he inadvertently wins a Model Citizen award for saving a K-pop star from being mugged (don’t ask), he finds himself with a new found celebrity status. His new found fame sees him receive a call from one of the band mates he’s long lost touch with, played by a (I swear) visibly embarrassed to be there Yoon Kye-sang (The Outlaws). Their meeting is an odd one though, with Kye-sang acting all tense and on edge, a fact which the permanently cheerful and breezy Dong-won seems oblivious to. Only when he takes off in Dong-won’s delivery truck, leaving the good natured courier on the side of the street to witness the assassination of a presidential candidate he’s about to be framed for, does our dim-witted protagonist sense that somethings not quite right.

All of the above thankfully happens within the first 10 minutes, quickly putting paid to the insufferable smiling of Dong-wook, set to equally insufferable acoustic guitar strumming. Instead, we’re left for the remainder with Dong-wook on the run from ‘The Agency’, a poorly defined shadowy organization, responsible for helping the presidential candidate they’re working for ensure he gets into power. The turn of events may have put an end to Dong-wook’s overly cheery demeanour, but we quickly learn that the alternative isn’t a whole lot better. With a constantly quivery bottom lip and puppy dog eyes sulking, we’re left to tolerate his constant snivelling and teary eyed wishes of how he just wants the band to get back together. Indeed, this damn band. Never has a characters motivations sat so awkwardly with the actual plot at hand.

There are numerous occasions when Golden Slumber grinds to a literal halt, purely to indulge in overly saccharine flashbacks to the days when the band was still together, and Dong-won’s innocent flirtations with their number one groupie, played by Han Hyo-joo (who will reunite with Dong-won in Jin-Roh). Watch them in their happier days as they rock out in slow motion, looking at each other with huge grins while the sun gently caresses their faces. We get it, as Bryan Adams once said, those were the best years of their lives. But we have a guy here framed for murder, shouldn’t he be getting to grips with how to clear his name, rather than becoming all teary eyed in a corner and wondering how he can ever bring those days back again? As an exercise in cringing, these scenes set a new precedent.

Even when I wanted to give credit to Golden Slumber, it constantly slapped me in the face. When it’s exposed ‘The Agency’ have footage of Dong-won killing someone, I thought it was the first time for a movie to tap into the recent deepfake trend, the name being used for a new technology that allows for someone’s face to be superimposed on to that of another. But no, wait for it. It turns out ‘The Agency’ recruited one of their members with a similar frame and build to Dong-won, named ‘Silicone’ (seriously), and had him undergo plastic surgery so he has an identical face. After I finished repeatedly bashing my head against a wall to convince myself to keep watching, when I returned it was to a Dong-won versus Dong-won showdown. Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this scene though, is that I found myself rooting for the bad guy Dong-won, in the hopes that it would make the runtime a little shorter.

Speaking of runtime, while Korean remakes of Chinese movies are known for having extended durations compared to the originals (the remakes of Eye in the Sky and Drug War – Cold Eyes and Believer – being examples), it seems that with Japanese remakes, time is being loped off. Luck.Key slimmed Key of Life’s’s 125 minute runtime by 15 minutes, and similarly here, the originals whopping 135 minute runtime is mercifully cut down to only 105. Well, I guess that’s a positive. Bizarrely Dong-seok still attempts to squeeze in a minor sub-plot of how Dong-won is estranged from his father, which has all of about 2 minutes dedicated to it when we’re already over an hour in, but by that point I’d given up questioning the barrage of poor decisions behind Golden Slumber’s existence.

With a soundtrack which is frequently more exciting than anything happening onscreen, one of the most ludicrously dumb endings in recent memory, and a plot which is dripping in misplaced sentimentality and overwrought histrionics, Golden Slumber is a misfire on just about every level. At one point, our sad sack of a main character solemnly asks “Is it a crime to live kindly?” It’s not, but as the expression goes, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Hopefully, that’s how people take this review.

Paul Bramhall’s Rating: 2.5/10