“Dare You Touch Me” Theatrical Poster
AKA: Bruce Takes the Dragon
Director: Liu Hung Sheng
Producer: Chen Wei Ling
Cast: Yuen Si Wo, Chiang Sheng, Lung Fei, Suen Yuet, Lee Keung, Chou Tai-Sheng
Running Time: 90 min.
By Mighty Peking Man
This movie sucks AND here are the reasons why:
1.) The words “Bruce” and “Le” are not a selling point, but that didn’t stop the designer of the video box to use his name when Bruce Le doesn’t even appear in it… Gotta love the Goodtimes® Video staff. Those bastards will use any images they can get their hands on.
2.) The lead character’s name is “Daredevil Alan,” played by some unknown named Yuan Siu Ho who doesn’t resemble Bruce Le, Li, Lo, Lie in any fucking way. If anything, he resembles one of my ugly Filipino uncles.
3.) “Daredevil Alan” is supposed to be around 20-years old yet he looks like he’s about 53! The fact that his teeth are rotting and his hair is partially gray doesn’t help either. At one point, he meets up with his mother (who looks younger than him), his stepfather (who looks like his younger brother) and his girlfriend (who looks like his daughter). WTF?
5.) There is a fight scene where “Daredevil Alan” starts to jump rope for no reason at all!
6.) At one point “Daredevil Alan” is flexing in the mirror. Pay attention to the close up shot. It’s extremely obvious they’re using a body double!
The choreography was about average and that’s being nice. The plot, well, fuck the plot. I’m going to be honest and admit to not watching the whole movie. When I was younger, I was able to sit through any dreadful, low-budget kung fu flick like this. Now that I’m in my twenties and I have better things to do.
Take this review as a warning. I just saved you a few bucks.
Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 0/10
Very much bottom of the barrel.