Green Hornet, The (2011) Review

Posted on March 1, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Green Hornet" US Theatrical Poster

“The Green Hornet” US Theatrical Poster

Director: Michel Gondry
Cast: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christoph Waltz, Cameron Diaz, Edward James Olmos, Tom Wilkinson, Edward Furlong, Jill Remez, Joe O’Connor, Morgan Rusler
Running Time: 110 min.

By Ningen

Britt Reid’s a goof-off son of a media mogul-played by Seth Rogen-whose dad passes away unexpectedly. After becoming newly acquainted with his dad’s ex-servant, Kato-played by Jay Chou-Britt discovers that Kato’s not just good with making coffee, but also tinkering with machines, as well as fighting using martial arts. Together, they decide to use their resources to fight crime-partly by posing as criminals who destroy gangs from the inside, and mostly by tracking down their hang-outs and using their “wonderful toys” to take down thugs. They also vie for the affections of Britt’s secretary Lenore, played by Cameron Diaz.

To be honest, I never really watched the original Hornet show w/ Van Williams and Bruce Lee. And I’m obviously too young to have heard the radio version. I saw clips of the tv series here and there, including the cross-over episode where they try to fight against the Adam West/Burt Ward Batman and Robin, but it ends in a “Mexican stand-off”. [Allegedly, the reason it went that route was that the Hornet fans didn’t believe that Bruce could lose to West and/or Ward in a fight, while Batman and Robin fans didn’t like the idea of seeing their heroes lose any fight. And for those wondering, Bruce makes a “cameo” in this new version, too, btw.] And I haven’t seen Jay Chou’s non-Initial D stuff, other than a rap video for Fearless. So all I really cared about was whether the concept would have some fun to it as a movie version, not whether it was entirely faithful to the original material. For example, Zhang Ziyi as Kato and Kevin Smith as a director would’ve at least been interesting, maybe even exciting. And Stephen Chow as director and co-star would’ve at least been memorable.

But, no, the studio had to kick out Chow and pick the guy whose last mainstream movie was about re-enacting scenes from movies off destroyed videotapes. And the other guy whose only real hits are from forgettable sex comedies got picked as the lead and co-writer. Now I don’t hate Seth Rogen. He seems like a fun guy, even if he does basically play a party animal in every film he headlines. But pairing him with a director whose only hit movie I did hate, because of how pretentious and lazy it came off, gave me some serious warning signs that this adaptation was going to be a mess. Jay Chou’s alright, but he doesn’t really stand out enough in his roles. He did alright as Takumi in Initial D, because the main character there is supposed to be somewhat apathetic. In Hornet, though, his back-story comes off more like an after-thought, even though he goes beyond being just a wing-man.

And while Green Hornet is not a disaster, it’s a misfire. It wants to be the next TDK, but it morphs into a PG-13 Kick-Ass. Not that I liked K-A much, either, but at least the writers and directors on it did not drag out the story with unnecessary sub-plots. For example, this movie should be about how Reid and Kato become heroes, and learn how to get used to any slip-ups on the job. But instead, this movie is about Reid’s father and his shaky political relationships, and how they relate to the increased crime in the area. And the supposed culprit behind this criminal activity, Chudnofsky, played by Christoph Waltz, is not even the ring-leader. He runs the operations, but he’s working with someone else behind the scenes. Plus, anyone hoping they’ll get more Col. Landa from Basterds will have to wait another time, as all he really does is fire his weapon at random people and get into verbal cat-fights with other gangsters over how he’s dressed.

Furthermore, you rarely even see that much crime-fighting, because the pair are either sparring over a secretary who’s not interested in either of them, at least in that way; or they’re dealing with office work at a newspaper company. Or, they just play with stupid gadgets. In fact, it feels like the movie just appropriated the whole superhero parody sub-plot in Orgazmo and tried to give it an actual budget, but axed the fight scenes, and emphasized talking scenes in their place. You do get car chases and shoot-outs in Green Hornet, but the camera’s too close, and the scenes subsequently morph into a become a boring, convoluted mess, where you don’t know who’s firing, and what. Oh, and don’t bother with the 3-d version of the film, as it consists of the usual floating objects gimmick which is being used as an excuse to charge everyone an extra $5.

So in short, Green Hornet’s an ok rental, but only something hardcore fans really need to see. Otherwise, anyone else expecting this film to be more than just another bad Rogen comedy will be severely disappointed.

Ningen’s Rating: 5.5/10

Posted in Asian Related, Reviews | Tagged |

2011 Hardest Men in Town: Yakuza Chronicles of Sin, Sex & Violence, March 9-19

Posted on February 28, 2011 by JJ Bona
Sydney Pollack's "The Yakuza"

Sydney Pollack's "The Yakuza"

This season, Japan Society is proud to present the new Globus Film Series, Hardest Men in Town: Yakuza Chronicles of Sin, Sex & Violence. From March 9 to 19, Japan Society will be screening a series of 15 yakuza films, from 1960s productions featuring chivalrous kimono-clad, sword-wielding gangsters to today’s ruthless gun-toting villains dealing in debt, dark trades and deeds. Featuring films by internationally acclaimed directors such as Takeshi Kitano, Seijin Suzuki, and Kenji Fukasaku (among many others), the series includes a large number of premieres and titles never-before shown in the U.S. Also introducing some of these screenings will be a few very special guests, including writer/director Paul Schrader, author Jake Adelstein, and director Takashi Miike.

Featured Films:

The Yakuza – Directed by Sydney Pollack
Onibi: The Fire Within – Rokuro Mochizuki
The Wolves – Hideo Gosha
The Walls of Abashiri Prison (pt. 3): Longing for Home – Teruo Ishii
Brutal Tales of Chivalry – Kiyoshi Saeki
Theater of Life: Hishakaku – Tadashi Sawashima
Blood of Revenge – Tai Kato
Cops Vs. Thugs – Kenji Fukasaku
Battles Without Honor and Humanity A.K.A. The Yakuza Papers (pt. 3): Proxy War – Kenji Fukasaku
Youth of the Beast – Seijin Suzuki
Dead or Alive – Takashi Miike
A Yakuza in Love A.K.A. Villainous Love – Rokuro Mochizuki
Ryuji – Toru Kawashima
Yakuza Wives – Hideo Gosha
Outrage: The Way of the Modern Yakuza – Takeshi Kitano

Source: http://www.japansociety.org/film

Posted in News |

Edge of Fury (1978) Review

Posted on February 24, 2011 by Jeff Bona
"Edge of Fury" US Theatrical Poster

“Edge of Fury” US Theatrical Poster

Director: Lee Tso Nam
Writer: Ding Sin Saai
Cast: Bruce Li (Ho Chung Tao), Dana Tsen (Danna), Tommy Lee, Yasuaki Kurata, Michelle Mai Suet, Wai Lit, Kao Yuan, Pak Man Biu, David Cheng Dai Wai
Running Time: 84 min.

By Jeff Bona 

A wealthy business man is arrested and sentenced to death for drug smuggling, and it’s up to his trustworthy chauffer, Fang Pao (Bruce Li), to unravel the mystery behind his boss’s downfall. Was he really smuggling drugs? Was he set up? Does his boss’s sleazy girlfriend (Dana Tsen) have something to do with it? The closer Fang Pao gets to the facts, the more dangerous his life becomes.

“Edge of Fury” is a tale of gangsters, drugs, annoying little kids and money-hungry whores. Just like “Iron Dragon Strikes Back” (aka Gold Connection), “Edge of Fury” was made without “Bruce Lee” in mind, meaning Bruce Li is playing an original character, and not imitating Bruce Lee in any way, shape, or form.

I’ve seen the gist of every Bruce Li movie ever made. Some are great (Iron Dragon Strikes Back, Gold Connection), some are good (Bruce Lee: The Man, The Myth), some are average (The Dragon Lives), some are bad (Deadly Strike) and some are so bad, they’re entertaining (Bruce Lee: A Dragon Story). “Edge of Fury” falls somewhere between good and average.

What I do like about “Edge of Fury” is the assortment of goodies it has to offer:

Babes: When you’re watching a Bruce Li movie and you see the name “Dana” pop in the credit sequence, you know you’re in for a slutty treat. Dana slightly resembles porn starlet Nautica Thorn (fellas, don’t act like you don’t know who she is), only much more cuter. Dana also appeared with Bruce Li in “Image of Bruce Lee” and “Bruce Lee in New Guinea.”

As a bonus, we also get the foxy Michelle Mai Suet (aka Michelle Lai), who plays Bruce Li’s girlfriend. Michelle and Dana look so much alike that I didn’t realize they were two different characters until the film’s third act. True story.

Music: Typically, most kung fu films of the 70’s recycle music from popular movies; I’ve heard and recognized it all: James Bond themes, Italian Westerns, disco tunes, etc; As far as I know, “Edge of Fury” has its own unique soundtrack. It’s screechy, rough, and hardcore; Which is very suitable for a movie titled “Edge of Fury.”

Annoying Little Kid: I swear, I’ve seen this little turd before (he looks like the ice cream cone kid in “Way of the Dragon”). You’re going to love to hate him, thanks to his retarded english dubbing. Is it me, or does he and Bruce Li like each other a little too much?

Yasuaki Kurata: You’ve seen this Japanese cat in movies like “The Angry Guest,” “Twinkle, Twinkle Lucky Stars” and “Fist of Legend.” In “Edge of Fury” it’s him vs. Bruce Li, baby.

There’s definitely enough action to go around, which was choreographed by Tommy Lee, who also has a major role as a baddie. I haven’t seen enough of Tommy Lee’s work (as a star or choreographer), but from what I have seen, I don’t see what the big deal is. I remember having a copy of “Chinese Connection II” on VHS, and one of the selling points was “Action Choreographer Tommy Lee,” yet, after viewing it, I was like “and?”.

Carl Jones’ Bruceploitation book “Here Come the Kung Fu Clones,” states the film’s dubbing as “bad, flat and uninteresting…” — I TOTALLY disagree. For a Bruce Li flick, I found the dubbing to be witty, pleasant and sophisticated (minus the little kid’s dubbing of course).

“Edge of Fury” is far from a must see, but for what it is, it’s a passable.

Jeff Bona’s Rating: 6.5/10

Posted in Bruceploitation, Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , |

Longest Nite, The (1998) Review

Posted on February 24, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Longest Nite" Theatrical Poster

“The Longest Nite” Theatrical Poster

AKA: The Longest Night
Director: Patrick Yau Tat-Chi
Cast: Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Lau Ching-Wan, Maggie Siu Mei-Kei, Lung Fong, Mark Cheng
Running Time: 84 min.

By Joe909

I’ve read several articles and interviews where HK actors who have come to Hollywood say that they look forward to working over here, because they’ll be able to do more complex movies. Each of them have said that HK audiences are sometimes not as intelligent as those in the US, and so in HK, movies must be simple and action-packed, whereas in Hollywood (or so these actors, Michelle Yeoh chief among them, claim), films can be a little more complicated. But in all honesty I have no idea what these people are talking about, because normally HK movies are the most complicated, obfuscated films around. The Longest Nite is no exception.

Two bosses with nearly-identical names are about to end a long war, under the order of an older boss, higher up in the chain. But rumor has it that one of these bosses plans to murder the other, regardless, and Tony Leung, bad cop and employee of one of the bosses, must keep this murder from happening. Sounds simple, but the way in which the film unfolds is anything but. Lau Ching-Wan shows up as a tough-looking bald bastard, but he’s sadly underused throughout the film. Instead we mostly see Tony Leung, driving around while Giorgio Moroder-style synths boom on the soundtrack, beating up and torturing whoever he comes across in order to figure out what’s going on.

So, once you let go of trying to follow the story, you can enjoy the scenes of graphic violence. Such as people getting beheaded, getting their fingernails sliced out, or (best yet) getting run over by cars. Tony Leung is savage in this movie, and throughout its first half you hate him. But then suddenly he discovers that he’s being set up, and as he tries to escape the pit he’s been thrown into, we find that we’re actually on his side now, and want to see him get away. A character arc is one of the most powerful tools in storytelling, and it works nicely in the Longest Nite.

Two things that distract from the movie: one, that the warehouse in which Lau Ching Wan and Tony Leung have their final confrontation just happens to be littered with large mirrors, each of them arranged in rows, a la “Enter the Dragon.” And two, it’s never quite satisfactorily revealed why Tony Leung has been tabbed as the fall guy, other than a limp remark that he always thought the main boss was worthless, or something to that effect.

Overall, a very dark film ? it’s “Hong Kong noir” to the max ? and, mostly, a good film, but not the best thing I’ve seen from Milkway. That would still be “A Hero Never Dies.”

Joe909’s Rating: 7/10

By Alexander

I’m not going to pretend, even for a second, that I understood what was going on in the twisted, excessively violent “Longest Nite”. There MIGHT be something in this film resembling a story sandwiched between gratuitous scenes of torture, vomiting, and beheadings but I’m not about to endure the torment of deciphering yet another convoluted, unnecessarily confusing plot featuring a myriad of characters with similar sounding names. Instead, I ignored (as you should) most of the irrelevant dialogue and meaningless subplots and focused entirely on how cool Lau Ching Wan looks as the silent drifter/killer-type and the unexpected brutality of Tony Leung’s corrupt cop.

Lau Ching Wan is the true star of this film despite speaking only a few minutes worth of dialogue. (But as all HK cinema fans know, dialogue [re: inane banter] is often an annoyance serving only to punctuate, comma-like, scenes of violence and mayhem.) In “Longest Nite”, Lau Ching Wan personifies cool much like his forebears Chow Yun Fat (“The Killer”); Michael Madsen (“Reservoir Dogs”); and Bruce Willis (“Last Man Standing”). All are strong, conflicted silent types with hip, timeless wardrobes. Lau is gangsta bald (MENACING!); retro-garbed from head to toe in denim (CASUAL!); totes around a worn Addidas bag as an accessory (SPORTY!) and has a creepy tattoo crawling up the back of his head (so THUG-like!). All the aforementioned add up to a whole lot of C-O-O-L.

Tony Leung is also brilliant as a sadistic policeman who relishes pounding the hell out of hoodlum’s hands with bottles of ketchup and other condiments. When he’s not smashing fingers with blunt objects he’s using other vicious means (think screwdriver) to extract respect from his victims. Leung effectively alternates between Torturer Cop, Corrupt Cop, Deranged Cop and ultimately Desperate, Greedy, Fleeing Cop. His less than savory role as sadist is a refreshing change of pace from his gentler roles as romantic hero.

Of course, with most HK films, there are a bevy of Things That Cannot Be Explained. For example, a woman projectile vomits on a triad boss and gets punched in the nose repeatedly (and realistically) for no apparent reason. There is also a scene where Tony Leung appears with a shaved head in attempt to emulate Lau Ching Wan just minutes, no SECONDS, after a violent shoot-out and a FULL HEAD OF HAIR!

However, despite the mess of a plot, a near mute Lau Ching Wan, and a host of Things That Cannot Be Explained, “Longest Nite” is highly recommended.

NOTE: Don’t miss the outtakes on the DVD version of “Longest Nite”. There are a couple of humorous bungled takes including Lau Ching Wan repeatedly slamming his face into a windshield; Tony Leung repeatedly missing his cue during the rolling head scene; and the vomiting female…well…repeatedly vomiting which is notable not because of the gallons of faux vomit, but for the priceless looks on her face during each mangled attempt to spew the lumpy matter on her co-stars.

Alexander’s Rating: 8/10

By Numskull

Those who revel in the grit of hard-assed HK cinema, especially the crime/cops & robbers genre, will most likely enjoy this harrowing tale of greed and corruption. Those who don’t will probably dismiss it as worthless, needlessly violent trash. Hey, their loss.

Tony Leung stars as Sam, one of the most crooked big screen cops since Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant. He doesn’t wave his penis around, but he does beat up and torture people rather casually, and he seems to be on more than one payroll. The Longest Nite has a convoluted plot by HK standards, and the fact that the three string-pulling masterminds, Mr. K, Mr. Lung, and Mr. Hung (why the hell did they have to have two of the names be so similar?) almost never appear onscreen doesn’t help matters. Mysterious goings-on and pieces of background history are spoken of fleetingly in the dialogue, and then get promptly forgotten or tucked away somewhere, only to come back and haunt us later on. It’s almost as if The Longest Nite is the reedited latter two-thirds of a longer movie.

Lau Ching Wan co-stars as Tony, a shady drifter with a stupid-looking tattoo on the back of his shaven head. Normally, LCW is a considerably skilled actor, but this particular role isn’t a very good showcase for his talents. He doesn’t do much besides repeat himself and walk around with an “I know something you don’t” look on his face. He pulls it off fine (the role, not the face), but I remain to be convinced that any number of other actors couldn’t have done it just as well.

Certain aspects of the film, such as the flinch-inducing “fingernail” scene, really hammer home the fact that the world in which it all takes place is an infernal cesspool and the people you find there easily thrive in such an environment. I would say that that makes this movie admirably realistic, but, alas, there are stupid plot twists and unbelievable coincidences sprinkled throughout its duration that seriously harm its credibility, such as Tony’s bag not getting snatched up off the ground while he’s away, a kitchen fire spreading WAY too quickly, and a car trunk popping neatly open when it gets rammed by another vehicle. There’s one major event even more absurd than any of these near the tail-end of the film, but I shouldn’t give it away. Believe me, you’ll know it when you see it.

Look past its faults, and you’ll find a fairly worthy story here. But don’t use this movie to introduce someone to Hong Kong cinema; there’s just enough wrong with it to turn somebody off to the whole shebang.

Numskull’s Rating: 7/10

By Vic Nguyen

Among the best films of 1998, Patrick Yau’s The Longest Nite is one of the bleakest, and one of the best crime films I’ve seen in a long time. The plot is a rich tapestry of betrayal, mystery, and deceit, all handled to perfection by two of Hong Kong’s most accomplished veterans, Tony Leung Chiu-wai and Lau Ching-wan (who sports a shaved head). These men give rich, multidimensional performances, and generate so much chemistry on screen together that it is an exhilirating experience on it’s own. Although highly convulated, and sometimes illogical, the film keeps you glued during it’s short 85 minute duration. My only real gripe is the obligatory action sequence, which is interesting enough, but brings the film’s realism and intrigue to a screeching halt. Yet despite this, I wholeheartedly recommend The Longest Nite, a refreshing new masterpiece that is another winner for the Milky Way Image company. (Note- all VHS and VCD copies sport small, nearly unreadable subtitles that is especially evident during Tony Leung and Lau Ching-wan’s tense prison scene (which is filled with bright, glistening lights, making the subs disappear). If you really want to enjoy this great film, I’d suggest you view the DVD, which have large, remastered subs, while retaining the original widescreen scope.)

Vic Nguyen’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

Hero Never Dies, A (1998) Review

Posted on February 24, 2011 by JJ Bona
"A Hero Never Dies" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“A Hero Never Dies” Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Johnnie To
Cast: Leon Lai Ming, Lau Ching-Wan, Fiona Leung Ngai-Ling, Yoyo Mung Ka-Wai, Henry Fong Ping, Yam Saikoon, Keiji Sato, Michael Lam Wai-Leung, Yen Shi Kwan, Lam Suet, Yuen Bun, Philip Keung Hiu-Man
Running Time: 98 min.

By Numskull

When are people gonna learn that crime doesn’t pay unless you’re O.J. Simpson?

In this corner, we have Jack, devoted servant of Mr. Yam, a gang lord who consults an elderly fortune teller for advice. And in THIS corner, we have Martin, devoted servant of Mr. Fong, another gang lord who also consults an elderly fortune teller for advice.

Jack and Martin, Martin and Jack. They drink in the same bar, they piss on the same trees, and they share a deep mutual respect and a friendship so twisted it hardly qualifies as “friendship” at all.

The source of the tension, of course, is the fact that they work for opposing gangs. One of these days, they figure, one of them is gonna have to put seventeen and a half bullets in the other. No hard feelings, eh? But when a clash between the two factions leaves Martin crippled and both men abandoned by their bosses, they turn their focus to getting some payback.

All in all, A Hero Never Dies is one of the most emotionally hard-hitting HK movies I’ve come across. Every reaction that the story elicits from the viewer…from the desire to send Fong and Yam (especially Fong) kicking and screaming into Hell to the sad respect for Fiona’s dog-like devotion to the wheelchair-bound Martin to the satisfaction of seeing the cane-wielding, whack-happy fortune teller get shot in the foot…is genuine and understandable, if unrealistic.

The film is also full of some striking images which remain in your mind’s eye after the movie ends. The bottle of wine with Jack’s name on it, waiting patiently (if an inanimate object can be said to do such a thing) on a shelf. Jack’s girlfriend’s scarred face after being burned by a pair of hitmen. Fiona, forced to sell her sex for passage back to Hong Kong. And most of all, Martin’s motionless body slumped in his wheelchair, casually rolling through a heated shootout with havoc being wrought on all sides. This isn’t a movie that you just walk away from, saying “Hey, that was pretty good” or “Hey, that was even better than a blow job” or “Hey, that really sucked, I should have watched some Mad About You reruns instead.”

It can be disarming at first; there’s some humor (half-way decent humor, mind you) near the beginning, but it’s nowhere to be found once the characters are established. Jack and Martin threatening each other over the phone through a tired old man is fun, and the glass-breaking scene in the bar is one of the best. There ain’t much else to laugh at, though, nor should there be. Life’s a bitch and then you die. It’s a fact that this movie conveys pretty well.

The biggest fault that AHND has is its ending, which is a little weak only by comparison to the rest of it. I won’t say it’s “formulaic in the extreme” or “more predictable than a teen slasher flick” but, when the film reaches a certain point, there’s only one direction that the story can credibly take. If you’ve seen more than a small handful of HK films, you’ll no doubt be unsurprised by the finale. That doesn’t make it a bad ending, though.

Good acting all around and a very fitting musical score, as well. Never did I get the impression that any aspect of AHND was rushed or done with half an ass.

Good story, good acting, good music, good movie. Not much else to say. Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10

By Equinox21

I don’t know what I was thinking the first time I watched this movie, because I didn’t think much of it. But, when I watched it for the second time a year later it struck me as being a brilliant film and one of Johnny To’s best. It’s a story of rivalry and friendship, betrayal and justice.

Martin (Lau Ching-Wan) and Jack (Leon Lai) share a unique friendship. They don’t necessarily get along, but they seem to have an unspoken respect for one another. Each is their own Triad boss’ right hand man, because they are smart, loyal and as good as it gets doing what they do. When Jack and his gang protect their boss, Mr. Yam, from Martin and his gang, it leaves all but Yam, Jack and Martin deadŠ with the latter two full of bullets and near death. After this bloody confrontation between the two gangs, The General orders the two opposing bosses to go back to the way things were a year before. They agree, and form a new gang, with both bosses in charge. Unfortunately, Jack and Martin are no longer needed, and are ignored and left to rot in the hospital and then on the streets with no jobs, Martin with no legs, and eventually with both their women dead. But, can their friendship be enough to get them the justice they deserve?

The acting on all fronts was quite good. Lau Ching-Wan and Leon Lai were perfectly cast in the leads, each displaying perfect arrogant, steely attitudes. Martin dresses almost like a cowboy/pimp, with a wild cowboy hat and boots. I’m not sure anyone BUT Lau Ching-Wan could have pulled this off without being laughed at. He really is to Johnny To what Chow Yun-Fat is to John Woo.

There were a few scenes that I didn’t care for tremendously. One such scene was a shootout on a dark bridge, and this was because the only lighting in the entire scene came from the headlights of the cars on the bridge. It was just a little too dark to see what was happening. Another was in a bar, which plays an important role in their friendship, where Martin and Jack are shattering each other’s wine glasses with a coin. It was a little far fetched, however the important part was really the back and forth challenging of the two characters which displayed the friendship/rivalry perfectly.

The action scenes were, however, all really well done; lots of shootouts, lots of bullets, lots of bodies. This movie is the epitome of a heroic bloodshed or a bullet ballet movie.

Any fans of good movies about friendship or movies with lots of action should love this one. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Equinox21’s Rating: 9/10

By Alexander

Overrated.

How else to explain the absolutely glowing praise heaped upon this ugly monster of a film by past reviewers on this website?

How else to explain this nugget by James H.: “…very few films…can exude as much style and grace as ‘A Hero Never Dies’.

Or this, from the esteemed MPM: “Johnnie To’s masterpiece.”

And this, from our Ron Jeremy of reviewers, Numskull: “One of the most emotionally hard hitting HK movies I’ve come across.”

From Joe909: “…a classic story along the lines of The Killer.”

From Woody: “…had me on the verge of honest to Gawd tears.”

And finally, Tequila: “Wow.”

The effusive hyperbole spewed by trusted City on Fire reviewers — who also give this film a bloated average rating of 9.3 — is mind-boggling considering A Hero Never Dies is, at best, a mildly entertaining diversion cursed with one of the worst endings EVER. I’m not going to spoil the final act for the handful of people who haven’t seen it, but I would have been less disappointed had a herd of cartoon rabbits been shot out of Lau Ching Wan’s gun and danced across the screen singing “Ice, Ice Baby” in Cantonese.

I’ve seen this film twice, thinking I’d missed something the first time. Unfortunately, the second time around simply afforded me more opportunities to shake my head at ridiculous scenes like the male-bonding-by-pissing-on-tree bit. I WAS initially impressed by the film’s visuals and Johnnie To’s direction. Leon Lai is impressive and proves he’s one of Hong Kong’s most versatile actors (his Comrades, Almost a Love Story shouldn’t be missed). The renowned bar sequence is also enjoyable. BUT, I could not get over…

…Lau Ching Wan’s ridiculous cowboy/low-rent pimp get-up. There is nothing cool about his pencil thin mustache and wide-brimmed hat. If you want to see Lau Ching Wan at his coolest, watch Longest Nite instead. The only thing missing were a white pair of leather chaps and a diamond-encrusted pinky ring.

…”Sukiyaki”. Woody earnestly recited a snippet of this song in his review. That’s cool and all, but it seems as if Hong Kong film fans generally make too big a deal out of hearing a familiar tune in an Asian film (see also Chungking Express). It’s like, “Hey, I can’t understand a word these people are saying and the subtitles are blurry but I DO recognize that song. Cool!”

…the ending. See paragraph one.

…Fiona Leung’s character was once praised on this very site as being an example of a strong female lead with a heart of gold hidden beneath a tough exterior. Bullshit. She spends the first half of the film convincing Yo Yo Mung’s character to be totally subservient to her boyfriend and even gives her tips on how to better please her man.

…the tired male bonding bits ubiquitous to the heroic bloodshed genre.

…the ending. Oops. Said that already.

I’m still confused as to the appeal of the film. Sure, by Hong Kong standards it’s pretty decent, but I don’t think it quite deserves the praise bestowed on it by our reviewers. If you haven’t seen it, give it a shot and let us know what you think. I can’t be the only one who thinks this movie is overhyped and, ultimately, overrated.

Alexander’s Rating: 5.5/10

By Woody

I’ll keep this review short and to the point. See this movie. It is without a doubt one of the best HK action films made in the 90’s. I don’t get all teary eyed over movies…alright, that’s a lie. I always get teary eyed over movies, but that is just because I watch a lot of depressing shit. This, though, had me on the verge of honest to Gawd tears.

This is basically a 1998 retread of John Woo’s classic A Better Tomorrow. It’s got the crippled hero, the overwrought (yet ,oh so great) music, the mythic characters, and the performance of a lifetime. In A Better Tomorrow it was Chow Yun Fat. The torch has now been passed on to Lau Ching Wan, whose performance here is not brilliant, but F*CKING brilliant. That big empty void Chow left when he came to the States has now been filled.

Unlike Woo’s film, this thankfully has some strong female characters, too, the strongest being Fiona Leung. Her performance was also really great here, and the image of her whoring herself to get money for a ticket back to Hong Kong for her and Lau is one of the most depressing and memorable I have ever seen.

There are flaws, but who cares? Everything else in the movie more that makes up for that. The ending, the music, the acting…it’s all great. I don’t know how Johnny To does it. Maybe I don’t want to know. Another classic film from Johnny To. Oh yeah…if you like the song “Sukiyaki”, this is the movie for you!

“It’s all because of you, I’m feeling sad and blue You went away, Now my life is just a rainy day and I love you so, How much you’ll never know…You’ve gone away and left me lonely.”

Woody’s Rating: 10/10

By Joe909

I’m sure this movie was produced with the intention that it would be a tribute to the Heroic Bloodshed films of a decade ago. But instead of coming off as a tribute, A Hero Never Dies is just as great and timeless at the films it pays homage to. The plot is recounted in-depth elsewhere, so I will just offer a few comments on what I liked and disliked about the movie.

As for likes: well, basically everything. Acting, directing, writing, action scenes; everything was exceptional. This was the first Leon Lai movie I’ve seen, and he’s one cool bastard throughout. Lau Ching-Wan, of course, is as consistent as ever in his performance. The gunfights are a good mixture of Ringo Lam realism and over-the-top John Wooery. The end setpiece especially smacks of Woo, in which Lai takes more bullets than Toshiro Mifune took arrows in Throne of Blood, and keeps on walking. Johnnie To uses some interesting film tricks, such as glossing color. On certain shots there almost seems to be a fingerprint on the camera lens, smudging the actor’s faces. A filmic trick that some might find distracting, but here it was used in moderation, and only served to heighten the mythic aspect of the characters.

The film isn’t without flaws, though. Something bothered me throughout the movie’s second act, and it wasn’t until after the film was over that I realized what it was. It’s a typical problem in modern-day HK cinema: lack of a good Villain. Heroic bloodshed flicks are so good at giving us anti-heroes that they sometimes fail to give us a villain we really want to see those anti-heroes annihilate: I’d say this is one small area in which Hollywood action movies are superior to Hong Kong’s ? Hollywood is always sure to give us a memorable and hateable villain, who is known (and hated) from the opening act. A Hero Never Dies (like the Blood Rules, etc) suffers from this problem: the Villain is not introduced as a villain until well into the Second Act, and his appearance as such seems forced.

Let me elaborate. Jack protects his boss Yam. Martin protects his boss Fong. In the opening half of the movie, both bosses are portrayed as kind benefactors. Yam doesn’t even really get pissed off at Jack for shooting his fortune teller in the foot! Add to this the fact that Yam comes off as a very nervous, indecisive, snivelling rat, who seems to look up to Jack as his prime guardian. Martin’s boss, Fong, is barely developed at all: he only gets two scenes in the first act, one in which he appeals to Martin to kill Yam (and this scene is robbed of any “evilness” on Fong’s part when he looks eagerly in Martin’s van for the hookers), and another scene where he stumbles into the General’s office and happily makes up with Yam. Then only a few scenes later he’s beating his subordinates, shooting Martin’s girlfriend, and in general being a world-class prick. Same goes for Yam, who apparently sends some heavies to take out Jack in the hospital, and leaves the widows of his dead guardians with nothing but a few small bundles of cash and a good smack to the face.

The problem is, when Yam and Fong betray Jack and Martin and become the villains of the piece, it just comes off to forced, especially when compared with how the bosses were portrayed in the opening. Maybe by having them act a little more cruelly (or at least, in Yam’s case, a little less uncertain), we could buy the whole betrayal bit.

As it is, though, Jack and Martin’s eventual revenge doesn’t lack any power due to this. I’ve always liked the song “Sukiyaki,” and now I’ll never hear it the same way again: I’ll always think of Jack, finally back from Thailand, striding purposefully into the Saxophone bar, or Jack assisting Martin in his final vengeance upon Fong. This is a great film, and certainly a classic along the lines of the Killer and A Better Tomorrow.

Joe909’s Rating: 10/10

By Tequila

A Hero Never Dies. Wow. I’m not going to explain the plot as Numskull did already, I’m just going to give a rundown on how good this film really is and that.

I thought that this was just going to be another run of the mill gun film, and I expected the acting to be great from Lau Ching-Wan and average from Leon Lai, with great cinematography and direction (it’s a Milkyway film) and nothing really to write home about.

Man was I wrong…Comparing this to The Killer or A Better Tomorrow is like comparing hentai to Garfield – they share a genre and that is all. The only ways they are similar is the use of akimbo handguns and sniper rifle scope cams. The gunfights are just so original, like the finale with Lau Ching-Wan offing triads from a wheelchair or Leon Lai shooting through the roof, resulting in blood dripping down through the ceiling and they add a new dimension to the regular gunplay.

The style of AHND is amazing, Lau Ching-Wan is the only man I know who can make a legless, emasculated shell cool – even with the cowboy hat. There are no bad performances; everybody is excellent, my personal favorites were Lau and Fiona Leung as his girlfriend. The opening bar scene was fantastic and totally bizarre.

All in all, AHND is one of my favorite Hong Kong movies, the only thing I can think of that would improve it is Chow Yun Fat instead of Leon Lai, but only because he’s just so much cooler. Lai doesn’t have that ‘look’, Chow would have rocked that opening bar scene.

Tequila’s Rating: 10/10 – Fantastic!

Posted in Chinese, Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Revenge DVD (Animeigo)

Posted on February 23, 2011 by JJ Bona
Revenge DVD (Animeigo)

Revenge DVD (Animeigo)

RELEASE DATE: May 17, 2011

A minor quarrel escalates into a duel. A death creates a debt of honor. The demands of honor outweigh the demands of justice, and force friends to spill each other’s blood. And the need for victory requires the sacrifice of honor. One simple argument spawns death, madness, and a final confrontation that will leave the sandy soil soaked with blood. Starring Kinnosuke Nakamura, and directed by Tadashi Imai!

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Bangkok Dangerous | aka Rain (1999) Review

Posted on February 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Bangkok Dangerous" Japanese Theatrical Poster

“Bangkok Dangerous” Japanese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Rain
Director: Oxide Pang
Co-director: Danny Pang
Cast: Pawalit Mongkolpisit, Premsinee Ratanasopha, Patharawarin Timkul, Pisek Intrakanchit
Running Time: 105 min.

By Woody

I’m really drunk right now, so excuse any glaring grammatical errors. “Bangkok Dangerous” is a really awesome low-budget flick. If you were to take Chow Yun Fat out of “The Killer” and replace him with Takeshi Kaneshiro’s character from “Fallen Angels”, you’d have a pretty shitty movie, right? Uh, not right. That is pretty much the premise of “Bangkok Dangerous” and it kicks ass, man. And it’s directed by the Pang brothers. I wonder if they are twins. If so, they should wear matching flannel suits and sing torch songs in seedy Thai nightclubs where rich American men go looking for underaged girl-boy “yum yum”. Like, when they aren’t directing and stuff. I notice also that one of the brother’s names is Oxide. Sounds like a chemical compound or something. I wonder if that is a common thing amongst the Thai…choosing their kids names at random from a chemistry book. If that is the case, I must on principle steer clear of getting any Thai chicks…I might end up with a strapping young lad named “Sodium Chloride” or “Phosphate” or something along those lines. It would be hard to steer clear of Thai chicks, though, if they all looked like Fon, played by the oh-so-hot Premsinee Ratanasopha. She was a definite highlight.

The movie looks really nice, too, considering the extreme low-budget. There are all kinds of nifty music-video style flourishes and stuff, and yet, it still retains this gritty verite feeling. Even though in the context of a typical shoot-’em-up action movie, “Bangkok Dangerous” really gives a good feel for what Thailand is like. A really, uh, dangerous place. So yeah, “Bangkok Dangerous” is really good. And not because I’m drunk and can’t stop smiling and I’m making my friends laugh. Oh, because…oh yeah, I just watched the movie. But I’m not all, like, into it, because I’m drunk because I’ve seen it already and it was really good. It’s like, a stylish verite low-budget awesome piece of work and I respect the Pang brothers so much for having made such a kickass little movie on such a low budget even if that one dude is named after a chemical compound. I would almost go as far as to call this the “El Mariachi” of Thai cinema, but I’ve only seen a few Thai movies and frankly I don’t want that chemical compound dude and his brother to come over here and direct, like, a “Spy Kids” sequel or anything. I’m so dizzy and I can’t see and it’s all blurry. What a strange feeling. It’s so funny…oh my gaw… dddddddddddddddddd…

Woody’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged , , |

Beautiful Boxer (2004) Review

Posted on February 22, 2011 by ningen31
"Beautiful Boxer" International Theatrical Poster

“Beautiful Boxer” International Theatrical Poster

Director: Ekachai Uekrongtham
Cast: Asanee Suwan, Sorapong Chatree, Orn-Anong Panyawong, Kyoko Inoue, Yuka Hyodo
Running Time: 114 min.

By Ningen

An arthouse alternative to Ong Bak, Beautiful Boxer is a powerful, emotional, and riveting saga of an ordinary person named Nong Toom who takes up Muy Thai in order to fight in tournaments and get the money needed for a sex change operation. Raised in a poor nomadic family, Toom discovers his fascination with wearing make-up and women’s clothing at a young age. His family grudgingly accepts his new lifestyle, but they learn to love and appreciate him again when he helps them during their financial hardships. And through his family, Toom discovers his untapped potential at Muy Thai.

Despite his initial abhorrence of the violence in the sport, certain graceful movements which can only be taught to pros motivate him to continue the program. In fact, the make-up eventually becomes an asset, instead of a liability, because his trainer needs a gimmick to enter the top Muy Thai tournament in Thailand, and so he hypes Toom’s feminine ensemble. Ironically, however, Toom’s formidable skill is downplayed by audiences disgusted by his choice of fashion; and he’s ridiculed and ostracized by his own countrymen for his appearance. With nowhere else to go, he’s eventually forced to duke it out in Japan, where the women consider him a hot item. But by then, he’s burned out from fighting.

While Beautiful Boxer could’ve been just an ordinary boxing biopic, it actually does more than that by exploring sexual values and roles in Thai culture. In addition, you get a detailed insider’s view into the world of Muy Thai combined with gorgeous costumes and lush settings. ( Even a run-down shack looks glorious against a serene but majestic backdrop. Eat your heart out, Peter Pau!) But the performances are what really make it come together. Full of energy and realism, it’s easy to connect with the actors through the emotions that come with the triumphs and tragedies experienced by the protagonists. (In fact, I almost got teary-eyed in a few key scenes which would be Oscar bait if BB could compete.)

The only reason I didn’t give Beautiful Boxer a 10 is that I don’t feel the filmmakers delve deep enough into Toom’s childhood, and some of the fights go by too fast to catch, but neither issue affects the narrative. So unlike a certain American boxing movie featuring a chick with an overbite who can’t really box, but which cops out by making her kill herself, Beautiful Boxer delivers. It’s a shame it’s already two years old, because it deserves to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Foreign Film. It’s that good.

Ningen’s Rating: 9.5/10

Posted in Reviews, Thai | Tagged |

Crippled Avengers | aka Mortal Combat (1978) Review

Posted on February 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"Crippled Avengers" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“Crippled Avengers” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Crippled Heroes
Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Chen Kuan Tai, Lu Feng, Philip Kwok, Johnny Wang, Lo Meng, Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, Dick Wei, Jamie Luk Kim Ming, Cheng Miu, Helen Poon Bing Seung, Chan Hung, Chow Kin Ping, Chui Tai Ping, Ha Kwok Wing
Running Time: 99 min.

By Joe909

This is often considered the Venoms’ best movie, though I prefer a few others to it. It has action, cool characters, crazy special effects, and intricate choreography, but it just seems to be missing something, if you’ll pardon the pun. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like movies where the main characters are maimed and crippled within the first twenty minutes. But then again, if they weren’t, then this would be a very different movie.

The plot is the usual Shaw Brothers simple, which is to say, perfect. When I’m watching a kung-fu movie, I don’t want Shakespeare. I want blood and vengeance, and no one delivered it better than the Shaws. The opening of the movie lets you know what you’re in for: directly after the credits, Chen Kuan-Tai’s wife gets her legs cut off (and immediately dies, no doubt, of shock) and his young son gets his hands lopped off. This would make you think that Chen and his son are the heroes of the movie, and they’ll get revenge. But no, it turns out that Chen goes bad, and he raises his son to become a heartless machine with really cool metal hands. Lu Feng (portraying Chen’s grown up son) is the coolest thing about this movie. He’s like a kung-fu Darth Vader, with his Mazinger hands that shoot darts. Chen and Feng rule their village with an (wait for it) iron grip. First Feng cold-bloodedly cripples the sons of the men who cut off his arms. Then father and son go on to blind a journeyman (Kuo Choi), render a blacksmith (Lo Meng) deaf and mute, cut off the legs of some guy who just got fired from his job (Sun Chien), and crush a kung-fu warrior’s skull until he becomes an idiot (Chiang Sheng).

The crippled guys become friends, and decide to take Chiang Sheng back to his teacher, as they feel it’s their fault that he was made into an idiot; Chang had went to Chen’s place to get revenge for the way he treated our crippled heroes. So they haul themselves off to the old man’s secluded school, where he teaches them forms of kung-fu that improve their lot in life: Kuo Choi learns how to use his ears better than he ever used his eyes; Sun Chien is given iron feet with which he can shatter anything; Lo Meng learns how to use his sight to compensate for his lack of hearing; and Chiang Sheng basically becomes a better martial artist than ever: he just has the mental capacity of a two year-old.

What’s great about Shaw Brothers movies is how fast time flies, literally. We see a few minutes of training, and then the teacher says “You’ve been here for three years.” The teacher’s done his work; in a cool shot, we see Sun Chien, Kuo Choi, and Lo Meng walk proudly out of his school, complete men once again. What follows is fight scene after fight scene, most of which are unnecessary, but nevertheless amazing. Kuo Choi or Lo Meng will corner Chen Kuan-Tai’s first lieutenant, beat his ass around, and then he’ll run away. What it all boils down to is that Chen’s birthday is coming up, and this guy doesn’t want Kuo Choi et al to interfere with the festivities. So he hires a few thugs to take them down, and we get to watch the Crippled Avengers handle them, biding their time until they can get to Chen Kuan-Tai and Lu Feng.

And when they do, we get a phenomenal final battle that incorporates pole fighting, sword fighting, lots of flips, some incredible hoop work, and the usual martial arts fortitude displayed by the Venoms, with Chen Kuan-Tai proving their equal. If I had to level one criticism, it would be that this fight is a bit too choreographed; many times as Kuo Choi, Lu Feng, and Chiang Sheng are flipping and leaping around, it doesn’t even look like they’re trying to hit each other, more like they’re just showing off. The finale features the usual sacrifice as favored by Chang Cheh, but, shockingly enough, the heroes actually live through this movie (save for one, of course). In fact, this is one of the few movies in which Lo Meng survives.

It’s really hard for me to pick a favorite Venoms movie. Five Venoms had the tighter story, but didn’t give the Venoms a chance to strut their stuff. Crippled Avengers does for sure, but the story loses focuses in the last half, so that the action may prevail. That being said, the fight scenes are great, as is the costuming and set design. And Lu Feng’s just too cool in this one, giving us one of the greatest villains in old school kung-fu. So even though it might not be my favorite Venoms movie, I can see why it is for so many others. And as a final enticement, the DVD release is actually uncut and letterboxed, but supposedly Celestial will release a remastered version on DVD in Fall 2004.

Joe909’s Rating: 9.5/10

By Numskull

I quote Kool-Aid Man: “Oh yeeeaaahhhhh!!!”

This is a very solid old school martial arts movie that entertains on a very visceral level but also boasts a fair amount of ingenuity. It’s about four guys who run afoul of a local tyrant (Chen Kuan-Tai) and his equally heavy-handed (terrible joke) son (Lu Feng). For daring to stand against them and their bullying servants, each of them is violently maimed or handicapped in some way; one is blinded (Kuo Choi/Philip Kwok), another is rendered both deaf and mute (Lo Meng), another’s legs are severed below the knee (Sun Chien), and the noble-hearted wandering warrior (Cheng Shiang) who tries to set things right gets brain damaged thanks to a head-squeezing torture device. This last one is returned to his martial arts teacher by the other three, and they begin training with him to overcome their physical limitations and get some much-deserved payback. Kuo Choi learns to rely on his ears far more than a normal man, Lo Meng develops heightened awareness of his surroundings (and a habit of carrying mirrors) to compensate for his deafness, and Sun Chien gets fitted with a pair of iron feet.

After some very spiffy training sequences, it’s time for some equally spiffy fight scenes. The skill and physical prowess of the performers will make you curse the day that “martial arts” movies decided to depend more on pretty faces, wires, and camera tricks than on genuine talent. After we’ve seen our heroes develop great chemistry together, helping one another overcome their respective disabilities, we see them fight together in much the same manner, especially Kuo Choi and Lo Meng, who receive more spotlight than their companions in the film’s second half. This, to me, is the most irritating aspect of Crippled Avengers; I wanted to see all four of them fighting side by side and in more equal measure.

Though “Crippled Avengers” is the most sensible of this film’s numerous titles, the version I watched was the “Return of the Five Deadly Venoms” DVD from Crash Cinema; English dubbed (of course) and letterboxed. That title is rather misleading since this is in no way a sequel to Five Deadly Venoms; it merely uses the same actors in the leading roles. Such is the case with other films proudly bearing the “Venoms” label. And, once again, no female characters of any significance (unless you count Chen Kuan-Tai’s wife, who dies about two minutes into the film…so we won’t).

Numskull’s Rating: 8/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , |

Generation Gap, The (1973) Review

Posted on February 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Generation Gap" Chinese Theatrical Poster

"The Generation Gap" Chinese Theatrical Poster

Director: Chang Cheh
Producer: Runme Shaw
Writer: Chang Cheh
Cast: David Chiang, Ti Lung, Agnes Chan, Kong Ling, Lo Dik, Yen Shi Kwan, Dean Shek Tien, Alexander Fu Sheng, Fung Hak On, Ricky Hui Kun Ying, Kong Do
Running Time: 113 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

Generation Gap is about one man’s (David Chiang) long and winding journey to find happiness and freedom-of-choice in a world full of assholes, cunts and dick-heads. In other words: society.

Judging from the time this movie was made and where it takes place, it’s the same bullshit no matter what age or country we’re living in. People telling us how to live, what steps to take in our future, and who we choose to be with. We’ve all been there – constantly being compared to our more successful peers; and parental figures questioning our ability to do the same. Generation Gap pushes the boundaries on these issues and leave us with the question: who’s right, youth or adult?

Generation Gap is definitely a change of pace for a Chang Cheh title. Don’t expect lots of brawls and blood, because you’ll be disappointed. It’s more of a drama, which shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise considering the film’s title (but then again, IVL’s box-art seems to market it as a martial arts movie). However, don’t let this scare you away from having a good time. It has a fair amount of violence for the harder-nosed viewers. If anything, fans of Chang Cheh’s lighter action movies – such as Delinquent – should be happy.

The more I see David Chiang perform, the more I think he was the prime candidate for the Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (Chungking Express) of his time. To better say it, Tony Leung Chiu-Wai is the David Chiang of today. In fact, they bare an odd resemblance, both in appearance and mannerisms. Ti Lung, who’s just as charismatic, also appears, but only in an extended cameo.

One thing’s for sure: Generation Gap is bell-bottom fury at its finest. In fact, this movie feels more like the 70’s than the 70’s itself. The songs that play in the movie, which are performed by the film’s costar (real-life singing sensation, Agnes Chan), will make any AM Gold hit seem timeless. The wardrobe, props and film sets are colorful, tacky and wickedly surreal. If you’re a fan of retro culture in any type of films, then Generation Gap is your visual bible.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 7/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , |

House of Traps (1981) Review

Posted on February 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"House of Traps" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“House of Traps” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: Shaolin House of Traps
Director: Chang Cheh
Cast: Philip Kwok, Chin Siu Ho, Sun Chien, Ngaai Fei, Lu Feng, Lung Tien Hsiang, Chiang Sheng, Cheng Tien Chi, Wong Lik, Siao Yuk, Cheung Kwok Keung, Chu Ko, Chui Tai Ping, Lau Fong Sai, Ngai Tim Choi, Shum Lo
Running Time: 91 min.

By Joe909

There’s a lot of interest on the Web over House of Traps, as it was the last Shaw Brothers movie to feature the Venoms line-up (save for muscleman Lo Meng, who’d already flown the Venoms coup). Apparently House of Traps was also never released in the US or UK, and I’ve read conflicting reports on if it was even dubbed into English. All I know is that my copy is in Mandarin, with tiny English subtitles that crop off of the left and right of the screen, leaving 80% of the movie unintelligible. This seems to be the only version of the movie afloat: low quality video and audio, badly subtitled, and in Mandarin.

What makes the botched subtitles such a shame is that the majority of this film is dialog. It has less action than most Venoms movies, though not as little as their earlier film Sword Stained with Royal Blood. And much like that film, the Venoms are mostly underused, save for Kuo Choi and Lu Feng. Sun Chien, one of the greatest kickers in film history, doesn’t even lift a leg in this, as he plays a judge. Chiang Sheng shows up an hour into the movie, pretending to be a traveling magician alongside the sadly-underused Cheng Tien-Chi (who went on to star in one of my favorite movies ever, Five Element Ninja, AKA Chinese Super Ninjas). Only Kuo Choi, who plays the hero Black Fox, and Lu Feng, as the villainous Butterfly Chua, get to spar throughout the movie.

Speaking of Cheng Tien-Chi, I’ve always liked the guy, even though this and Five Element Ninja are the only movies I’ve seen him in. I wish he’d gone on to greater success. For the viewers out there who love Five Element Ninja as much as me, be on the lookout for familiar faces in House of Traps. Just about every actor who appeared in Five Element shows up in this film. Being that House of Traps was the last Venoms film, it almost comes off as a changing of the guard.

The movie starts off with a bang, as Lu Feng wastes a dude and escapes with a jade horse type of thing. From what I gather, he’s working for corrupt government officials, and they’re weeding out the rebels. Kuo Choi flits through the film’s first half, disguising himself behind a ninja-like mask. Sun Chien apparently is a judge caught in the middle, who employs a swordfighter who makes an assault on the House midway through. Finally Chiang Sheng shows up with Cheng Tien-Chi, and the two of them hook up with Kuo Choi and some other heroes, and enter the House. Lots of bloody deaths ensue. The ending is especially bizarre, with one of the heroes hacking open a corpse, to root out the contents of its stomach.

One thing that harms the movie is that Chang Cheh’s fetish is just way overboard. You know what I mean. Not only are there no women in sight, but every guy wears a chest-baring, tight-fitting, sequined costume that would make the Village People proud. I know this is the case in most other Chang Cheh movies, but House of Traps takes it to the extreme. Add to this that Lu Feng looks like Little Red Riding Hood, wearing (for some reason) a knit cap that covers his ears. Kuo Choi wears one, as well. Actually, now that I think of it, Kuo and Lu are the only ones who look goofy, and it’s mostly due to the stupid caps they’re stuck with.

The House itself is great, though the set used for it is minimal. The bottom level has spikes that come out of the floor, and a steel staircase that will clamp shut and chop off feet. Spear-tipped nets ensnare those who make it high enough, trapping them while guys on the bottom floor come out and shoot up at them with arrows. The set-up is interesting enough, and we’re given a few tantalizing glimpses of the place throughout the movie, leading up to the final assault at the end. The choreography is good for the most part, though it’s mostly swordfighting instead of the usual acrobatics. The heroes also tend to take on traps or fight inferior, yellow-outfitted guards, instead of matching their skills against equally-talented enemies.

As usual for a Venoms movie, the weapons are interesting. One guy fights with a pole that has a metal claw at one end. Another fights with jagged hoops. Cheng Tien-Chi uses an umbrella that hides blades. Kuo Choi and Lu Feng use regular swords, and do most of the killing. The film is pretty bloody, but not Five Element Ninja level. The tone is significantly dark, and I’m anticipating a Celestial remaster to clear up several things. As a final note, animal rights activists beware: you see a live chicken actually get dropped onto a bed of nails!

Joe909’s Rating: 7/10 (this will surely improve once I see a copy with legible subs)

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , |

Female Convict Scorpion DVD (Tokyo Shock)

Posted on February 22, 2011 by JJ Bona

RELEASE DATE: April 12, 2011

In the wake of a shocking crime, an ordinary worman is transformed into a fighting machine in this action-drama straight from Japan. Matsu, known to the prisoners as Scorpion, is locked away in the bowels of the prison as revenge for her disfiguring attack on the warden. Granted a one-day reprieve, she attacks the warden again, which leads to more brutal punishment and humiliation. But her punishment provides an opportunity to escape, along with six other prisoners. Their surreal flight from prison pits the convicts against the guards, the warden, and each other.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases |

Drug Addict, The (1973) Review

Posted on February 22, 2011 by JJ Bona
"The Drug Addicts" Chinese Theatrical Poster

“The Drug Addicts” Chinese Theatrical Poster

AKA: The Drug Addicts
Director: David Chiang
Cast: Ti Lung, Wong Chung (Wang Chung), Louise Lee (Si Kei), Paul Chun Pui (Paul Chin Pei), David Chiang, Lo Dik, Kong Do, Lee Hoi Sang, Tino Wong Cheung
Running Time: 94 min.

By Mighty Peking Man

So why were Chang Cheh, David Chiang and Ti Lung given the pseudonym “The Iron Triangle”?

Was it because of their long list of badass films that dominated the early 70’s, despite heavy competition with some dude named Bruce?; Was it because they were like an unbreakable bond of blood brothers (no pun intended) who tackled a number of totally different projects, as if they were a bunch of gutsy little school kids?

Whatever it was, the iron was held together tightly from all three directions.

Chang Cheh dug his two boys so much that he jump-started both of their first directorial features. Not only did David Chiang and Ti Lung had a genuine respect for one another, they also looked no further in finding leading men for each of their films. Ti Lung directed David Chiang in The Young Rebel and David Chiang directed Ti Lung in The Drug Addict, with Chang Cheh producing and co-directing both titles under his very own production company. Talk about a group effort.

In The Drug Addict, Kuan Cheng-chun (Ti Lung) is a kung fu teacher turned who turned into a heroin addict while Tseng Chien (Wang Chung) is a drug dealer with a conscious. The film opens with a penniless Ti Lung, strung out on heroin, begging for a free fix from Tseng. Feeling responsible for Kuan’s state, Tseng refuses his request for his own good. Later that day, the two bump heads once again. At this point, Tseng is still feeling bad for him, he decides to make Kuan kick his habit by locking him into an abandoned cabin overnight. After endless hours of hysterical desperation for heroin, Kuan wakes up to a new day to find that he has just been given the favor of a lifetime.

Thankful for Tseng’s help, Kuan is back on top form and training again at his kung fu school. Meanwhile, a cop (Paul Chin Pei) is hot on his trail. Aware of Kuan’s addiction, the cop questions him about his drug transactions with Tseng. Kuan explains that Tseng’s indeed a dealer, but an “different” one that helped him kick his drug habit. The cop assures Kuan that if he helps the system, he’d also be helping Tseng break free from the dangerous cult-like drug ring he’s employed with.

Things start to get ugly when Tseng’s drug bosses (headed be veteran bad guys Lo Dik, Kong Do aka “The Human Testicle,” and Lee Hoi Sang) start to inspect him because of his shady “nice guy” actions. To test his loyalty, they give him an odd job of murdering a certain someone, and that someone is Kuan.

I give David Chiang props for trying something dark and unique with The Drug Addict. However, the movie is just as dull as its title.

The mixture of martial arts action and rat-like heroin addicts is just plain ridiculous. I’m not sure if I can explain my self correctly, but let’s just say the two don’t go together. Maybe if it was more fun-filled (like Jackie Chan’s consumption of alcohol in The Drunken Master) and didn’t take itself so seriously, it could have worked. Watching Ti Lung in dirty clothes, all sweaty and implying that he’d suck dick for drugs just didn’t do anything for me. Thanks to Wang Chung, this portion of the film is tolerable.

The film slightly redeems itself once Ti Lung’s characters gets off the dope. At this point, The Drug Addict turns into a decent action film with some sweet brawls from both Ti Lung and Wang Chung (who sports the exact same long-sleeved shirt we wore in Police Force). However, the earlier, over-dramatic drug-themes have already taken their toll and clouds the possibility of making this a noteworthy flick.

Oh, and by the way, who does Ti Lung think he is, Bruce Lee? The clothes, the sunglasses, the hair and even some of his mannerisms reflect “The Little Dragon.” Should I even mention the “borrowed” snippets of Lalo Schifrin’s Enter The Dragon soundtrack? I mean, it was 1973, Bruce Lee had just died and opportunity was knocking for whoever wanted to try and capture the intensity of Hong Kong’s biggest star. I say this with some tongue and cheek, but The Drug Addict is pretty close to being a Bruceploitation flick.

To sum it all up, The Drug Addict is worth watching just to see David Chiang’s work behind the camera. Technically, he does a fine job, it’s just the story could have used some heavy re-writing. If you want to see a better “Iron Triangle” side-project, check out the remarkable The Young Rebel.

Mighty Peking Man’s Rating: 4/10

Posted in Chinese, Reviews, Shaw Brothers | Tagged , , , , , |

Psycho Gothic Lolita DVD (Tokyo Shock)

Posted on February 21, 2011 by JJ Bona
Psycho Gothic Lolita DVD (Tokyo Shock)

Psycho Gothic Lolita DVD (Tokyo Shock)

RELEASE DATE: May 24, 2011

A new Japanese action/gore film “Psycho Gothic Lolita” (aka Gothic & Lolita Psycho) will be released by Tokyo Shock. Directed by Go Ohara (Geisha vs Ninjas) and tarring Rina Akiyama, Ruito Aoyagi, Minami Tsukui, and Yourei Yanagi. Makeup/gore effects were handled by Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl).

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |

Kung Fu Dunk DVD/Blu-ray (Well Go USA)

Posted on February 21, 2011 by JJ Bona
Kung Fu Dunk DVD/Blu-ray (Well Go USA)

Kung Fu Dunk DVD/Blu-ray (Well Go USA)

RELEASE DATE: May 3, 2011

Starring Green Hornet’s Jay Chou, Eric Tsang and Charlene Choi.

Kung Fu Dunk, also known by its former title Slam Dunk, is a 2008 Chinese-language live-action film. It was directed by Taiwanese director Chu Yin-Ping. The film was previously titled Slam Dunk, but later the title has been changed to avoid confusion with the Slam Dunk manga and anime series[1] which it was roughly based on despite the film itself having no association whatsoever. The filming, however, conveyed a strong flavour of Hong Kong films, reminiscent of movies like Shaolin Soccer.

Posted in Asian Titles, DVD/Blu-ray New Releases, Martial Arts Titles |
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