“Dirty Ho” Chinese Theatrical Poster
Director: Lau Kar-leung
Cast: Gordon Liu Chia Hui, Wong Yu, Lo Lieh, Kara Hui Ying Hung, Johnny Wang Lung Wei, Hsiao Ho, Wilson Tong Wai Shing, Chan Si Gaai, Yeung Chi Hing, Wai Wang, Shum Lo, Peter Chan Lung, Cheng Miu, Ching Chu, Fung Ming
Running Time: 99 min.
By Numskull
All right, folks…I’m gonna TRY to do this without laughing. No promises, though.
“Dirty…….Ho…..” is a kung fu comedy from Liu Chia Liang (Lau Kar Leung) in which the law-breaking Ho (*snort*) starts giving away money in a tavern…but his generosity is outmatched by Mr. Wang, and the two quickly become rivals (I guess Hos don’t like it when the competition is looser than they are). Later on, during a fight with a lute-playing girl whose body is manipulated by Mr. Wang (guess Wong Yue doesn’t play the only Ho in this movie), Ho RECEIVES a big, festering sore on the shiny bald head (how’s that for role reversal?) and finds out that only Mr. Wang can prepare a cure. Ho grudgingly becomes Wang’s pupil and starts to learn some more kung fu while being dragged around to get-togethers with Wang’s wealthy friends who share his interests in wine, antiques, and art. This is quite a change of pace from the thrusting and gyrating involved in their more physical student-teacher moments.
It turns out, Wang is the 11th son of the Emperor, so plenty of sex forms a major part of the back story to “Dirty Ho” (*snicker*). He wants no part of being a royal and lives his life away from the court, but nevertheless, the 4th son tries to have him killed by sending assassins pretending to share his passions after him. Thus, a wine-tasting session and a visit to an antique dealer become fights in which both participants pretend not to be fighting; I guess Wang doesn’t want the neighbors in “Dirty Ho” to overhear what he’s doing. Eventually he gets stabbed in the leg and takes his Ho to a secret location where they can continue to develop their relationship in private.
When the time comes for Wang to travel to the palace and confront his conniving brother, Ho must help him to travel there, and they meet some pugnacious Mongols on the way (no cops from the vice squad, though…how odd). Then, in the palace, they fight three other guys. Watch the one in red and white…he just sort of dances around while the other two do most of the work.
Finally, Wang shows up to confront his brother…and, believe it or not, that’s where the movie ends. No closure of any kind. So, after spending some money and getting a few cheap thrills, “Dirty Ho” (*wheeeeeeze*) leaves you feeling empty and unfulfilled…maybe even a little tainted.
Oh yeah, and the general played by Lo Lieh sounds like a guy doing a girl’s voice in the English dubbed version. Make up your own joke about transsexuals and men in uniform.
Numskull’s Rating: 6/10
